HARD 8

“Mr. Cha Gyuwon.”

Only silence came from inside.

“I’m hungry. What do you want to eat?”

“…”

“What should we eat? I’ll order for you.”

“…”

“Or should I make something? What do you have here? I’m opening the fridge without permission, okay?”

Go Woonha, who had already opened and closed the washing machine and dryer, and even fucked and “closed” the owner without permission, was being belatedly polite.

But still, no answer came.

Go Woonha sighed as Cha Gyuwon, having gone in like that, came out after washing up, his dry hair swept back.

Meanwhile, Cha Gyuwon was hunched over, playing a game.

“Game Over” kept flashing on the console game screen, but he retried over and over.

In truth, only his eyes were fixed on the screen; his thoughts and attention were far elsewhere. In his mind, Go Woonha’s face played on a loop. Two different Go Woonhas appeared on a split screen. One was the Go Woonha who smiled upon seeing his hyung and came into the house, and the other was the Go Woonha on top of him.

Both were the same person, and both were still like angels, but the voices that flowed out were quite different.

‘Your hyung must have had a hard time. He must be tired.’

‘It’s okay. Doing it in the back doesn’t count…’

At that moment, Cha Gyuwon’s hand slipped. The car he was driving slammed into the side with a crash and spun around crazily. It was obvious the race was already lost.

Cha Gyuwon was about to throw the controller but, seeing his large hands and arms, he carefully placed it on the floor instead. But he couldn’t help the turmoil still raging in his heart. He threw himself onto the bed. The mattress groaned and swayed, burdened by his large body. Cha Gyuwon buried his face in the blankets and screamed silently.

It was love at first sight.

He had never experienced anything like this before.

It was literally as if he had been struck by lightning. His whole body tingled, and he couldn’t take his eyes off him. After that, he went to his hyung’s house several times in secret. He didn’t know the details of what they did in the room, but he knew they weren’t just acquaintances.

Yes, to be honest, he knew in detail. They probably had sex. He just hadn’t known how or in what way. He had just meant to take a peek. Just look and then leave. For real. After that… he didn’t know. He must have been possessed by something. Or maybe he himself was just trash…

It wasn’t a situation where he could discern such things. The world turned upside down, as if his entire destiny up until now had been flowing toward him, as if he had lived only for this moment, as if everything until now was fake and only the moment he saw him was real.

Like a lightning strike, as expressions in fiction go, he came, and it felt as welcoming as if he had been waiting for him for a long time. To Cha Gyuwon, his first love wasn’t something strange but was as natural and inevitable as fate. Cha Gyuwon, who had fallen into this beautiful, grand, and enormous fatalistic love, had harbored a very small greed and, contrary to his fantastical heart, had somewhat darkly and gloomily snuck into his hyung’s room.

Cha Gyuwon, belatedly realizing that it wasn’t the right thing to do, engaged in self-reflection. Without even knowing that it was an undeservedly thorough self-reflection for someone like Go Woonha… He also didn’t know the fact that Go Woonha had simply considered it a little treat when he had approached him without revealing he wasn’t his hyung. Cha Gyuwon had fallen for Go Woonha enough to turn his life upside down, but he knew nothing about him. No, he knew his body now…

“Haaaah…”

He sighed deeply and looked at his hand. The proof that Cha Gyuwon’s life had been turned upside down was right there.

After sleeping with Go Woonha and running away, Cha Gyuwon had hailed a taxi. Normally, he couldn’t even take taxis well. When he came to the family home where his hyung lived, he would ask the uncle his parents had assigned to him, but he had taken a taxi in his hurry to escape. Fortunately or unfortunately, he was able to endure being in someone else’s car with a stranger because he was sobbing so hard that the driver even played a sweet ballad.

After arriving home, Cha Gyuwon wiped his face until the sleeve of his hoodie was soaked, then threw his ring into the flowerbed. Crazy bastard. To forsake a lifelong promise in this way. To have given up his precious virginity. He didn’t regret giving his carefully preserved virginity to Go Woonha at all, but he was insanely ashamed that it had been in this manner.

Traditionally, shouldn’t the first night be one where you light candles, whisper sweet nothings, slowly lay your body on soft white sheets, and turn off the lights to signal the beginning? Cha Gyuwon’s regret was excessively fairytale-like, to the level of someone who would only know that having sex with candles lit could start a fire by learning it from Go Woonha.

“Haaaaaaah…”

Cha Gyuwon let out another deep sigh.

The empty space where his purity ring, which he had worn for a long time, used to be felt awkward. A mark from the ring remained in the spot where he had taken it off after his encounter with Go Woonha. His conscience was too tender to pretend not to know and keep wearing it since they weren’t dating or married. I’m sorry for breaking the promise. Even as he prayed, Go Woonha’s naked body appeared vividly in his mind. If he could go back, he would surely forget the ring and the vow and make the same choice again… He would have missed out on the candles and the sweet confession again… But an angel had been right in front of him.

Cha Gyuwon conveniently forgot about things like pee and beads. He decided to think that he had misheard and misseen things. He also erased the fact that Go Woonha was a fuck buddy who had already rolled around with his hyung and felt guilty only for not having treated him gently and for having had such a rude and impolite sexual encounter. It was only at the beginning that Cha Gyuwon had pounced; after that, he had been the one getting fucked the entire time…

Naturally, his stream of consciousness returned to that bathroom.

He was bigger than Go Woonha, but he didn’t get hurt at all… no, he didn’t seem to be in pain… no, he said it hurt but he liked it. For Cha Gyuwon, who knew that his very existence could be a threat to others, that too was an intense experience. He was, in the first place, the first being with whom he had had more intimate and close skinship than even his family.

‘He called for me a little while ago, but I didn’t answer. I wonder if he’s left by now. He must have been upset.’

Cha Gyuwon worried a worry that was as useless as worrying about a celebrity, and slowly got off the bed.

An even gloomier aura enveloped his large body. He had put on another black hoodie over his T-shirt and was about to approach the door.

Clatter, clang, crash.

A series of loud noises occurred simultaneously.

“W-what’s going on!”

Startled, Cha Gyuwon threw the door open and came out to see Go Woonha, with only a towel around his waist, holding a frying pan lid to cover his body, his face scrunched up as he bit his lip in distress.

“Ah, sorry… The oil splattered.”

His expression and attire were sensual, and his predicament was comical. But Cha Gyuwon, as if he could only see Go Woonha’s shell, rushed over and stood in front of him, shielding him. The oil splattered sizzle sizzle behind Cha Gyuwon’s back. As Cha Gyuwon shielded him from the wildly splattering oil, which popped like popcorn, with his arms spread out to the sides, Go Woonha rubbed his own body. He looked down at his body, which was covered in reddish marks, swallowed hard, and then quickly averted his gaze when he seemed about to look at him.

“I think I made a mistake trying to make fried rice and a fried egg. Was putting the frozen rice in directly the problem?”

Go Woonha was nonchalant even after opening someone else’s fridge without permission and making a complete mess.

It had always been okay for him to do so. No matter how much of a mess Go Woonha made, it was surprising how people around him never blamed or resented him. Except for when they said, ‘Let’s break up now’…

And that magical talent was, of course, demonstrated on Cha Gyuwon as well.

No, it was deployed more easily and more powerfully than on others.

“I’ll do it.”

Cha Gyuwon wet his dry lips and turned Go Woonha’s body around. He put his hands on him and then, as if surprised, pulled them back slightly, guiding him to the bedroom with his hands hovering precariously around him.

“Take any clothes from here… and put them on. If your body still stings, tell me. I have medicine too…”

All the while, the frying pan was having a party of its own. It was enough to make going to see fireworks unnecessary.

Cha Gyuwon, without even realizing he had let Go Woonha into the most private, personal, and precious space in his home, hurried back to the kitchen. He deftly gathered the randomly pulled-out dishes and cooking utensils with his large hands. After quickly organizing them in the cupboard, he took care of the frying pan and meticulously wiped up the oil that had splattered around.

Then it hit him belatedly. Where he had taken Go Woonha.

“Oh, oh!”

Cha Gyuwon rushed out of the kitchen, banging his shin, but he paid it no mind and opened the door.

Inside was Go Woonha, wearing a black short-sleeved T-shirt from a multi-pack that Cha Gyuwon had bought, playing a game.

“Did you finish cleaning up?”

Go Woonha asked, turning his head. Even as he did, his car in the game was skillfully navigating its way out of the city.

As the flustered Cha Gyuwon stared blankly at the screen, Go Woonha cleared the notoriously difficult chase part and put down the controller.

“This was on, so I just played it. Was this a part you couldn’t beat, by any chance?”

“…No. I’ve beaten it before.”

“Ah, I see. For a second there, you looked so flustered, I thought I might have beaten a part Mr. Gyuwon was trying to clear.”

His tone suggested that even if he had, he wouldn’t have been particularly sorry.

Cha Gyuwon, who was surprised for a different reason, stammered.

“You play games too…”

“Well, what, did you think I lived without doing things like this?”

Go Woonha got up from his seat and looked at the manga that Cha Gyuwon had placed in the bedroom. And the Blu-rays too.

The items inside were works that Cha Gyuwon particularly liked.

“Ah, I’ve seen this too.”

Go Woonha pointed to a few of them, saying, “This one too, and this one too.”

“This one was really popular at my school too. You have the whole series?”

Go Woonha said, taking out a book and flipping through it with a whirrr.

Cha Gyuwon approached hesitantly.

“You read things like this too?”

“No, I mean, what do you mean by ‘things like this’? Manga? I read it. It’s fun, isn’t it?”

“…”

“How on earth do you see me, Mr. Gyuwon?”

An angel.

But a crazy one now.

Cha Gyuwon barely managed to suppress the words that almost slipped out.

Go Woonha plopped down on the bed and ran his hand over the smooth material of the comforter.

“Is this real? Real silk?”

“No. It’s synthetic fiber.”

“Aha. Then that’s a relief.”

If it were real silk, it would be hard to wash, so you couldn’t get it dirty. Unaware of the sense in which he meant it was a relief, Cha Gyuwon hesitated before sitting down next to Go Woonha.

“I thought you didn’t watch things like this. Or play games.”

“I do anything that looks fun.”

“Then do you like sports too…?”

“I like them, but I prefer sports you can play with multiple people, like tennis, squash, or volleyball, rather than doing them alone.”

As he spoke, Go Woonha grinned. “Doing it alone isn’t fun, is it?” Cha Gyuwon, unaware of the teasing tone underlying the subtle question, shook his head.

“I prefer doing it alone…”

“Why?”

“I’m… a bit big and my strength is… strong, so I often end up hurting my opponent when we play together.”

Cha Gyuwon’s face instantly darkened.

Aha. So that’s why.

Go Woonha nodded and rested his elbow on his crossed leg. He cupped his chin and looked up at Cha Gyuwon from below, who tried to avoid his gaze in embarrassment.

“But you’re relieved that I didn’t get hurt, right?”

“Yes… what?”

“I’m really tough. I probably wouldn’t die even if I were stabbed with a knife.”