HARD 17

How many times had he encountered people who looked at Go Woonha with those eyes? Even if he couldn’t say he was best friends with Go Woonha, they had still met and hung out quite often until the first half of last year. At the hair salon where he worked, there were kids who couldn’t take their eyes off Go Woonha.

But this was Go Woonha…. His shell was incredibly, incredibly good, but that was all there was to him. When he was very curious about his real name, he had said half-jokingly, half-seriously, ‘I’ll tell you if we date,’ only to see his eyes go dead in an instant as he drew the line right away, asking, ‘Then should I just call you Hwani hyung?’….

“Haa….”

Hwani sighed and shook his head from side to side.

Even during all this, Go Woonha was still at the end of Cha Gyuwon’s gaze.

“What is it?”

Go Woonha, who came in after finishing a rather long call, saw Cha Gyuwon and smiled brightly. Cha Gyuwon, too, looked relieved.

The call had gone on longer than expected, and Cha Gyuwon’s anxiety was starting to build, but he had returned at just the right time.

“Can I touch it?”

“Yeah. I haven’t styled it yet. If you want to touch it, touch it now.”

“Hyung, you’ve still got it. It’s so pretty.”

“Right? No, customer, why do you go around covering your eyes? You’re so handsome. Like, ta-da!”

Hwani cheerfully tried to flick his bangs up to show his eyes, but Cha Gyuwon flinched. As his body was large, his movements were large as well.

A moment of silence fell.

“I’m… sorry. I was startled.”

Cha Gyuwon mumbled. The atmosphere had suddenly cooled, and he was flustered as well.

Just then, Go Woonha tousled his hair roughly.

“Ah. Look how fluffy it is. It’s cute. You look your age, Mr. Cha Gyuwon.”

If Cha Gyuwon had known that Go Woonha didn’t like younger people, he would have gotten hair extensions on the spot at those words. Through the strands of his tousled hair, Go Woonha’s brightly smiling face appeared and disappeared repeatedly. Hair extensions? He could have shaved his head. That’s how Gyuwon’s heart felt looking at him now. Did hair even matter?

“It’s pretty. It suits you very well, Mr. Gyuwon.”

Unaware of Gyuwon’s inner turmoil, Go Woonha expressed his pure admiration. He had momentarily forgotten that he was the one who didn’t like his partners to look young or actually be young, that’s how much brighter Cha Gyuwon’s atmosphere had become. That is, compared to before.

“What should we do? Style it?”

“Should I? I’m curious to see it styled, too. But it’s pretty even now.”

“I’ll do it.”

Cha Gyuwon said resolutely.

As Hwani styled his hair, he calmly explained how much wax to use and where and how to apply it. Cha Gyuwon listened with concentration.

And then….

“Hey, this is a masterpiece. Can I take a picture?”

“No. You can’t.”

Go Woonha looked at the finished Cha Gyuwon through the mirror. Then he grabbed his shoulders and leaned his head forward.

“Mr. Gyuwon, you had such a pretty face, and I didn’t even know. Right?”

Even with the tone that sounded like he was handling a child, Cha Gyuwon helplessly melted.

Go Woonha, who had lightly tapped his cheek that was about to turn grapefruit-colored, straightened up.

“Hyung. I’ll give you your gift. Mr. Gyuwon, could you wait for just a moment?”

Seeing the box inside the shopping bag, Hwani became all smiles and said he wouldn’t even charge for the haircut. Still, Go Woonha politely refused, saying that wouldn’t be right since he had made him open on his day off.

“You should switch to me as your regular stylist.”

“Hmm. We’ll see.”

What ‘we’ll see’? He has no intention of doing so. Hwani clicked his tongue at Go Woonha’s uninterested tone.

“Didn’t you say you don’t date kids?”

“Hmm….”

“He’s a kid.”

“He looks old for his age.”

“Stop making ridiculous excuses. Seeing you eat something you said you wouldn’t, it looks like it’s either time for you to die or time for you to change. Are you going to settle down at this rate?”

At those words, Go Woonha coughed and laughed.

At his reaction, which seemed to say, ‘Not a chance,’ Hwani started to feel sorry for Cha Gyuwon, who was inside.

Unlike his intimidating first impression, he was just a big kid who was naive and innocent to a fault. They say kids don’t know the ways of the world, but how did he end up falling for a guy like this? Hwani, who had been trying to gently probe to see if there was any good news for Cha Gyuwon, gave up, fed up.

“He seems like a pure person, so don’t treat him poorly.”

“That’s strange. You must have gotten close with Mr. Gyuwon in that short time?”

Go Woonha languidly smiled and flicked his ash.

“That’s not it, geez. You can tell just by looking. He’s fallen for you.”

“……”

“I knew it. You know, don’t you?”

Go Woonha didn’t answer and put another cigarette to his lips.

“And how can you even date like that? With your sex partner’s younger brother, huh? Don’t tell me you slept with him? Did you already sleep with him? Is he your sex partner too?”

“……”

“You crazy bastard. You crazy bastard.”

Hwani shuddered.

“Don’t tell me you did it with all three of them?”

“Ah. I was worried the kid would be surprised.”

The truth was, he was quite satisfied right now even without adding another person. He didn’t know what would happen once he got used to it and it became tasteless again, but….

Hwani glared at Go Woonha.

“‘Worried the kid would be surprised,’ my ass. Since when did you care about things like that?”

“Hey, hey. I’m being serious this time.”

Go Woonha smiled as if he were troubled and embarrassed. A smiling face was Go Woonha’s trademark, but many people fell head over heels for this particular look. When they saw this face, even in the middle of an interrogation, they would suddenly lose their energy and their hearts would soften.

But this time, Hwani didn’t let it slide either.

“Does he know you were seeing his brother?”

“Yeah. Probably.”

“Then does he also know how you play around?”

“Hmm….”

“Oh, you poor, cute Mr. Gyuwon. How did you end up with a slut like this?”

Just then, the door was flung open. From inside, Cha Gyuwon looked back and forth between the two with a hardened face.

“Hyung. Let’s go.”

Cha Gyuwon, who had spoken in a heavy voice, was about to take Go Woonha straight to the car but stopped and turned back.

“Thank you for the How many times had he encountered people who looked at Go Woonha with those eyes? Even if he couldn’t say he was best friends with Go Woonha, they had still met and hung out quite often until the first half of last year. At the hair salon where he worked, there were kids who couldn’t take their eyes off Go Woonha.

But this was Go Woonha…. His shell was incredibly, incredibly good, but that was all there was to him. When he was very curious about his real name, he had said half-jokingly, half-seriously, ‘I’ll tell you if we date,’ only to see his eyes go dead in an instant as he drew the line right away, asking, ‘Then should I just call you Hwani hyung?’….

“Haa….”

Hwani sighed and shook his head from side to side.

Even during all this, Go Woonha was still at the end of Cha Gyuwon’s gaze.

“What is it?”

Go Woonha, who came in after finishing a rather long call, saw Cha Gyuwon and smiled brightly. Cha Gyuwon, too, looked relieved.

The call had gone on longer than expected, and Cha Gyuwon’s anxiety was starting to build, but he had returned at just the right time.

“Can I touch it?”

“Yeah. I haven’t styled it yet. If you want to touch it, touch it now.”

“Hyung, you’ve still got it. It’s so pretty.”

“Right? No, customer, why do you go around covering your eyes? You’re so handsome. Like, ta-da!”

Hwani cheerfully tried to flick his bangs up to show his eyes, but Cha Gyuwon flinched. As his body was large, his movements were large as well.

A moment of silence fell.

“I’m… sorry. I was startled.”

Cha Gyuwon mumbled. The atmosphere had suddenly cooled, and he was flustered as well.

Just then, Go Woonha tousled his hair roughly.

“Ah. Look how fluffy it is. It’s cute. You look your age, Mr. Cha Gyuwon.”

If Cha Gyuwon had known that Go Woonha didn’t like younger people, he would have gotten hair extensions on the spot at those words. Through the strands of his tousled hair, Go Woonha’s brightly smiling face appeared and disappeared repeatedly. Hair extensions? He could have shaved his head. That’s how Gyuwon’s heart felt looking at him now. Did hair even matter?

“It’s pretty. It suits you very well, Mr. Gyuwon.”

Unaware of Gyuwon’s inner turmoil, Go Woonha expressed his pure admiration. He had momentarily forgotten that he was the one who didn’t like his partners to look young or actually be young, that’s how much brighter Cha Gyuwon’s atmosphere had become. That is, compared to before.

“What should we do? Style it?”

“Should I? I’m curious to see it styled, too. But it’s pretty even now.”

“I’ll do it.”

Cha Gyuwon said resolutely.

As Hwani styled his hair, he calmly explained how much wax to use and where and how to apply it. Cha Gyuwon listened with concentration.

And then….

“Hey, this is a masterpiece. Can I take a picture?”

“No. You can’t.”

Go Woonha looked at the finished Cha Gyuwon through the mirror. Then he grabbed his shoulders and leaned his head forward.

“Mr. Gyuwon, you had such a pretty face, and I didn’t even know. Right?”

Even with the tone that sounded like he was handling a child, Cha Gyuwon helplessly melted.

Go Woonha, who had lightly tapped his cheek that was about to turn grapefruit-colored, straightened up.

“Hyung. I’ll give you your gift. Mr. Gyuwon, could you wait for just a moment?”

Seeing the box inside the shopping bag, Hwani became all smiles and said he wouldn’t even charge for the haircut. Still, Go Woonha politely refused, saying that wouldn’t be right since he had made him open on his day off.

“You should switch to me as your regular stylist.”

“Hmm. We’ll see.”

What ‘we’ll see’? He has no intention of doing so. Hwani clicked his tongue at Go Woonha’s uninterested tone.

“Didn’t you say you don’t date kids?”

“Hmm….”

“He’s a kid.”

“He looks old for his age.”

“Stop making ridiculous excuses. Seeing you eat something you said you wouldn’t, it looks like it’s either time for you to die or time for you to change. Are you going to settle down at this rate?”

At those words, Go Woonha coughed and laughed.

At his reaction, which seemed to say, ‘Not a chance,’ Hwani started to feel sorry for Cha Gyuwon, who was inside.

Unlike his intimidating first impression, he was just a big kid who was naive and innocent to a fault. They say kids don’t know the ways of the world, but how did he end up falling for a guy like this? Hwani, who had been trying to gently probe to see if there was any good news for Cha Gyuwon, gave up, fed up.

“He seems like a pure person, so don’t treat him poorly.”

“That’s strange. You must have gotten close with Mr. Gyuwon in that short time?”

Go Woonha languidly smiled and flicked his ash.

“That’s not it, geez. You can tell just by looking. He’s fallen for you.”

“……”

“I knew it. You know, don’t you?”

Go Woonha didn’t answer and put another cigarette to his lips.

“And how can you even date like that? With your sex partner’s younger brother, huh? Don’t tell me you slept with him? Did you already sleep with him? Is he your sex partner too?”

“……”

“You crazy bastard. You crazy bastard.”

Hwani shuddered.

“Don’t tell me you did it with all three of them?”

“Ah. I was worried the kid would be surprised.”

The truth was, he was quite satisfied right now even without adding another person. He didn’t know what would happen once he got used to it and it became tasteless again, but….

Hwani glared at Go Woonha.

“‘Worried the kid would be surprised,’ my ass. Since when did you care about things like that?”

“Hey, hey. I’m being serious this time.”

Go Woonha smiled as if he were troubled and embarrassed. A smiling face was Go Woonha’s trademark, but many people fell head over heels for this particular look. When they saw this face, even in the middle of an interrogation, they would suddenly lose their energy and their hearts would soften.

But this time, Hwani didn’t let it slide either.

“Does he know you were seeing his brother?”

“Yeah. Probably.”

“Then does he also know how you play around?”

“Hmm….”

“Oh, you poor, cute Mr. Gyuwon. How did you end up with a slut like this?”

Just then, the door was flung open. From inside, Cha Gyuwon looked back and forth between the two with a hardened face.

“Hyung. Let’s go.”

Cha Gyuwon, who had spoken in a heavy voice, was about to take Go Woonha straight to the car but stopped and turned back.

“Thank you for the good haircut.”

Cha Gyuwon, who had offered his thanks with a cold, hard face and a stiff, hard voice, pulled out whatever 10,000-won bills his hand landed on in his pocket, handed them to Hwani, and then returned to Go Woonha.

“Let’s hurry and go.”

As Cha Gyuwon got into the passenger seat, Go Woonha exchanged glances with Hwani through the window. Hwani shrugged, as if to say he was dumbfounded.

To his gaze that said, ‘I think he heard us,’ Go Woonha replied with a look that said, ‘Seems like it.’

“Hyung. I’m leaving then. I’ll call you.”

Knowing it was an empty promise, Hwani still waved to see them off.

After the car was far away, Hwani hugged the shopping bag and returned to his shop with a cheerful gait.

Go Woonha thought that the reason Cha Gyuwon was angry was because he had found out he was the type to fool around with just about anyone. It was something he would find out eventually, and it was better for him too, but having a man with such a large presence sitting next to him, silent and gloomy, was getting on his nerves.

“Mr. Cha Gyuwon. Did you hear us talking?”

When he finally asked bluntly, Cha Gyuwon answered honestly.

“Yes. I heard.”

“I was wondering why you were so quiet when you got such a nice haircut. I thought maybe you’d heard, and it turns out you did.”

“I’m sorry for eavesdropping.”

But his voice was confident.

“But I was angry.”

“About what? What was there to be angry about in that conversation?”

Go Woonha feigned ignorance and joked around. He had been having more fun than usual, but seeing the grim atmosphere, he figured this was the end. Before ending it, he decided he should go to his house, have one last round, and then call it quits. Just as he was having this regretful thought, Cha Gyuwon opened his mouth.

“Why do you let the people around you talk about you so carelessly?”

“Pardon?”

“They called you a s-s-slut. Aren’t you angry?”

“Was that why you were sulking…?”

“No. I’m not sulking. I’m angry.”

Cha Gyuwon corrected him, as if telling him not to treat him like a child.

Go Woonha blinked slowly. Ah, so that’s what it was about? Most people knew that he met anyone, slept with them impulsively, and left unexpectedly. As such, this kind of reaction itself was novel.

“Really, because of that?”

“My brother… my brother said that too… I wanted to cut ties with him.”

Go Woonha burst out laughing and replied.

“Come on, who do you think I am!”

“What do you mean, who do you think you are! Don’t say things like that about yourself! Don’t you remember what you said to me when you first came to my house? You said it seemed like I was the only one pitying myself. But what are you going to do if you treat yourself poorly too?”

Ah… he really is a textbook. A walking textbook. It was obvious he hadn’t been exposed to people in situations like this.

Go Woonha bit his lip hard, trying to hold back his laughter. It was because he truly didn’t care about his reputation.

It can’t be helped. It seems the time has come to talk.

Go Woonha lowered his voice seriously.

“Mr. Cha Gyuwon.”

He still had a serious expression, as if his anger hadn’t subsided.

“I am a slut.”

“……”

“Sorry…. But it’s the truth.”

Go Woonha shrugged.

“I sleep with anyone, and I do it with three people too.”

“……”

“I didn’t mean to shatter your fantasy like this. But I never gave Mr. Cha Gyuwon a fantasy in the first place, so I’m more curious about how you came to see me in a good light.”

Before he knew it, they had arrived at Cha Gyuwon’s villa. While the system confirmed the registered number and let them in, Cha Gyuwon didn’t say a single word.

After parking, Go Woonha continued calmly.

“Thank you for thinking well of me, but I don’t care about that kind of talk at all, so Mr. Gyuwon, you too….”

“Hyung… why are you saying such self-deprecating things?”

Cha Gyuwon looked up with trembling eyes.

“You don’t really mean it, do you…? I’m so upset… if you’re doing this on purpose, please don’t….”

What is this? Go Woonha’s smiling face hardened at the familiar opening that was leading into a repertoire he found very annoying and disliked.

“If… if something happened that you can’t tell me… you don’t have to tell me, but…. Did I trigger some kind of trauma? If you hate and dislike yourself because of that, then I also….”

“What are you talking about?”

Go Woonha asked back in a soft voice.

“Are you thinking that I’ve given up on everything and am just throwing my body around because of some unfortunate incident?”

There had been an accident. But while that accident might have played a small part in making Go Woonha who he was today, he had made all the choices himself. He had never once eroded himself because of a past unfortunate event, secretly hoping someone would come and save him.

It was an approach a counselor he had met in the U.S. had already tried. He had played along a little at first, but after the counselor started obsessing over finding a problem that didn’t exist, he quit. A problem? There wasn’t one. Why did they think that way when he was just having fun and doing what he wanted?

In fact, even when the counselor was being a nuisance, Go Woonha had coolly ignored his calls and moved on. Even when others seriously spouted nonsense like, ‘I think you have a void, and I want to fill that place for you,’ he had laughed it off.

But when Cha Gyuwon brought up a similar nuance, he felt awful.

“This isn’t the first or second time I’ve heard this.”

Go Woonha opened his lips, then closed them without a word. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Then he looked at Cha Gyuwon again.

“Mr. Cha Gyuwon. We are not in a relationship.”

“……”

“Your concern, Mr. Cha Gyuwon, is commendable, but I’m not grateful for it. You’ve come in too deep. I didn’t even invite you. I don’t think we’re in a position to be having this kind of conversation, are we?”

Cha Gyuwon’s pupils trembled. But Go Woonha’s mood had hit rock bottom right now, so he didn’t want to see it. This kind of thing was rare.

“Get out.”

“What about you, hyung…?”

“I’m going home.”

“……”

Go Woonha swallowed a sigh at Cha Gyuwon, who sat there without getting out.

“I don’t want to get angry at you, Mr. Cha Gyuwon. I’m tired, so don’t act like a child. Okay?”

Go Woonha reached out his hand. Cha Gyuwon felt pathetically happy, and also heartbroken, at the touch of Go Woonha’s hand stroking the ends of his hair. It was because he knew it was a heartless gesture meant only to soothe him. Like placating a pouting child.

Cha Gyuwon bowed his head low. Then, like a defeated soldier, he opened the car door.

Before closing the door, Cha Gyuwon bent down to look at Go Woonha. He had been staring straight ahead with a hardened face, but at his presence, he turned to look at him with his usual smiling face.

…He thought it might have been better if he had just gotten angry. That gentle smile felt harder and sharper than any line drawn between them.

“Get home safe….”

“Okay. You go up safely too, Mr. Gyuwon.”

“…Can we meet again?”

Go Woonha did not answer. Was he thinking about it, or had he already made a decision?

Cha Gyuwon waited for a moment, but when there was no answer to the end, he closed the door and turned away.

With the sound of the car starting, Cha Gyuwon curled his body and pressed the back of his hand to his eyes.

He felt like he had crossed a line somehow. But he only knew that he had done something wrong, not what it was. He was that young.

The fact that you could change your outside in an hour but not your inside made Cha Gyuwon, who was 190 centimeters tall, feel as small as if he were only 19 centimeters.