TIN 162

I later learned that Logan must have gently coaxed Hyung while I was napping. Feeling that things couldn’t continue as they were, he apparently reintroduced himself using formal language, which he normally never did. Annoyingly, coaxing children was one of Logan’s specialties.

The situation reversed in an instant. Once Hyung’s gaze stopped following me, I became the one chasing after him with my eyes. Whenever he showed interest in a new part of the villa or a new person, I couldn’t help but tug at his sleeve, pestering him.

I wanted to attract his attention. I couldn’t bear the restless feeling that kept growing, as if I had never been relaxed before.

So, I looked for things that only I could do for him, things that Hyung couldn’t do.

‘If you go up those stairs, there’s an attic.’

At first, I walked around the villa, explaining the structure of the entire house. My intention was to imply that since I knew so much, he should always go with me if he wanted to go anywhere. It was only later, after hearing the explanations, that I realized he might be able to navigate on his own, and I regretted it. But exploring the villa with Hyung was fun.

‘Hyung, let’s do this together.’

Next, I taught him letters, cubes, and how to solve puzzles. Actually, it was more like showing off in front of him, demonstrating what I could do. Under the guise of teaching him letters, I even read him my favorite fairy tales.

And so, by the time there were no more rooms left to introduce in the villa, and after I had told him all the knowledge and information I had, when I felt like there was nothing more I could do, I even told him the boring lesson content I had learned from my tutor.

‘Around that time, the glaciers were melting…’

Hyung was more patient than I thought, and he never showed any signs of dislike. Sometimes, he was so unresponsive that I wondered if he understood anything, but even then, he stared intently at my face. If nothing else, I could tell that he liked my face.

Honestly, I enjoyed it. I looked forward to study time, which had always been boring, so eagerly. I was happy that I would have something to tell Hyung after this time was over.

The taciturn student, without a word, gave me valuable satisfaction with just his eyes. His quietly focused face, his occasional surprised expressions, and his obedient nods were all pleasing to me.

If I had truly wanted to teach him, I would have chosen to take classes together. But I didn’t even consider that option. If I did, there would be nothing I could do for him. Only the clueless tutor was impressed by my improved attitude in class.

The days passed quickly, and my restless heart began to change. Unlike the past, when I simply wanted to attract his attention, now I had a desired direction for that attention. It was sometime after I saw Hyung’s face as he fleetingly smiled.

In fact, it was hardly even a smile. Hyung had simply softened his expression while letting out a long breath. His sharp eyes curved gently, and his expressionless lips parted slightly. It was a fleeting moment, but it was enough to make my heart sink.

I wanted to see him smile again, and I wanted to do something that would make him happy. I wanted to know what that feeling was, why my heart fluttered along with it.

‘Is there anything you want?’

If I gave him what he wanted, would he smile again? I could buy him anything, and I was confident that I could fulfill any wish he had. Cakes, toys, even jewels that adults liked.

‘…You don’t want anything?’

But Hyung wanted even less than I thought. I presented him with various things he might recognize, but he just kept shaking his head. I became sulky at his unwavering response, but when he awkwardly grabbed my finger, I didn’t care anymore.

It wasn’t long before I found out what Hyung liked. While exploring the second floor, playing either hide-and-seek or tag, Hyung, who was supposed to come and find me hiding in a room, didn’t come for a long time.

‘Hyung, what are you doing there?’

At the end of the second-floor hallway, there was a window that was very high for me. Hyung was standing there, staring out the window. He didn’t even notice me approaching, and his round head showed no signs of moving.

It was like a painting. The sunlight streaming in from the window cast long shadows on the hallway. Hyung’s head peeked out from the shape created by the rectangular window, silhouetted against the light.

‘…’

His lips moved, but no words came out. For a moment, I was rooted to the spot. The sight of Hyung standing in the sunlight, the shadows in the hallway, everything felt so precious, as if it would disappear at any moment.

But I quickly snapped out of it and ran to him. His expression up close was even more fascinating than it had been from behind. His eyes were unusually bright, and the unusual light in his pupils seemed to convey his small emotion completely.

‘What do you see there?’

Ironically, the window that came up to his chin was too high for me to see, even when I stood on my tiptoes and struggled. I asked him, frustrated, but Hyung didn’t answer. It was the same even when I tugged at his sleeve and whined.

What could be so great?

But when I stood on the chair that I had a servant bring, feeling resentful, all I saw outside the window was an ordinary landscape. A vast sea stretching out under a blue and clear sky. Yes, that was all.

‘Do you like the sea?’

I didn’t get an answer, but that was as good as a yes. His eyes were so full and glistening that they couldn’t have been anything but liking.

I didn’t understand. Why does he like that? It’s just common… and just boring. At night, it’s black and gloomy, and it even cries with a loud and desolate sound.

‘…Do you want to see it outside if you want to see it?’

But if Hyung liked it. Then I was willing to accommodate him. It’s my property anyway. It’s my decision where Hyung, whom I picked up, goes.

‘That sea is mine anyway.’

Around that time, intoxicated by the devotion I was giving him, I decided to be generous and show magnanimity. Hyung, who didn’t express his opinions much, looked at me sharply when I said he could see the sea outside. His black eyes, which seemed almost blue, sparkled as clearly as the blue sky.

After that, we spent most of our time sitting on the beach. I didn’t know what was so great about the big puddle, but Hyung sat on the soft sand and stared endlessly at the horizon. Once he started watching the sea, there was nothing for me to do but lean on his shoulder and blink.

‘Aren’t you bored, Hyung? It’s the same here every day.’

Honestly, I regretted it a little. Because the process was so boring. The sea, which had never been special to me, the place I had been exiled to, couldn’t suddenly look pretty.

The only thing worth seeing was the moment when Hyung’s white face turned reddish at sunset. His cheeks flushed red, and his eyes sparkled like the glittering waves on the sea, creating a mysterious moment.

I probably wasn’t the only one who liked that time. As the sun began to set, Hyung would occasionally glance at my face. And when our eyes met, he couldn’t take his eyes off me, as if he was very envious.

‘Are my eyes fascinating?’

Of course, they would be. My eyes, which had a more distinct golden color than my father’s, were said to be the only ones in the world. When they first appeared, people even came to see them, so how fascinating must they be to Hyung, who is a Beta?

‘Do you want them?’

But I don’t need them. They’re not that great or joyful. I didn’t want to have them, and I didn’t find them myself. So, Hyung, whom I picked up myself, is more precious.

‘Or do you want to touch them?’

The question, delivered in a subtle voice, was a great privilege for me. No one but my father had ever been allowed to touch my face. Since my father wouldn’t touch it anyway, it was safe to say that Hyung was the only one.

‘I’ll let only Hyung touch them.’

‘…’

Whether he was captivated by the word “special” or he really wanted to touch them, Hyung very carefully placed his hand on my cheek. As his hand caressed my cheeks, cheekbones, and eyelids, a tickling sensation swelled in my chest.

‘…Are you done touching?’

Beyond my slowly raised eyelids, I saw Hyung’s face. His expression was subtly elevated, as if he was touching something precious.

‘I want to touch Hyung’s face too.’

I still can’t forget the feeling on my fingertips. Confirming with my skin the person I chose, the relationship I created. Sharing a time when only the two of us exist, sharing an emotion that only the two of us know.

Every moment with Hyung was a first experience. It was intense because it was the first time, and it was difficult to escape because it was intense. No, I didn’t even think about escaping.

Isn’t it okay? It’s mine anyway. As long as I don’t abandon him, there’s no need to worry that Hyung will leave me.