PCL Ch 78

Lim Dae-han walked sullenly with his hands in his pockets. It was not like me, who was clutching my bag strap. I let go of the strap’s grip and intertwined my fingers with his. As expected, it was hot today. I wondered when summer would end, but I wished it would not. After summer vacation, I will begin applying for early admission, and the CSAT will be right around the corner.

My last summer as a teen. Even though there must be many more days ahead, it was quite meaningful. I peeked at him, keeping an eye on Lim Dae-han. Lim Dae-han turned slightly toward me in response to the question I had just asked. Our gazes locked, and I quickly averted his gaze.

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah. But if you feel uncomfortable…”

‘Hyung asked that I bring you to our house tomorrow to study. Do you want to study at my house?’ I said that. However, I was just about to add that you don’t have to come because it could be burdensome.

“It’s fine.”

Lim Dae-han responded softly. I didn’t want to be excited or wrinkle my impressions of the burden, but there was also no surprise.

“My parents aren’t here. He said he’d come on Sunday because he was going to play today.”

“Ah.”

“Your brother might not have even been in the house…?”

Nope. I had no idea why my brother was leaving. When he was in school, he didn’t even go home, acting as if he didn’t have a home at all, but as soon as vacation began, he crawled back into the house and made all sorts of fuss at night.

Despite his fiery personality, there were no issues, so it was somewhat regrettable that he had recently become like this. Was it difficult to live alone? He said he would bend his arms inward no matter how much he hated him, and my older brother was exactly like that. In fact, he was prone to perfectionism, so I had never seen him so distracted. When he was sensitive, he was picky. It was difficult to adapt.

“… I, don’t know.”

“I don’t care. Even if your parents are around.”

“Okay…”

Lim Dae-han grabbed my wrist just as we were about to pass a convenience store. I leaned over and got caught while walking one step ahead of him. Lim Dae-han shifted his gaze to the convenience store.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll buy you some freeze bar.”

“Hmm… In the morning?”

“Yeah. It’s hot.”

Then he waved the fan he was holding in front of my face. It was really hot.

“Can I have something other than ice cream?”

“Do as you please. Eat whatever you want.”

“I don’t eat that much.”

I have a small mouth compared to my peers, and Lim Dae-han laughed when I spoke loudly

“You eat everything without leaving any leftovers these days.”

It was clear that Lim Dae-han was nurturing me.

***

Ding-Dong.

The doorbell rang.   When I approached the intercom, I noticed Lim Dae-han on the screen. I opened the doors for Lim Dae-han, who had called from the first floor. My mouth was dry and I was thirsty. It wasn’t a big deal, but it was his first visit to our house, so my mouth was dry.

My older brother’s door suddenly opened as soon as I opened the communal entrance. My older brother, who had not left the room the entire time, came out when the doorbell rang. My older brother was in the room closest to the intercom, so when I turned my head while standing in front of it, our gazes met instantly.

“Is he here?”

My older brother asked directly. “Yeah,” I said, nodding. Then he went into the room that was used for storage by himself. Then he brought out a large folding wooden table. He could even reach it by himself because of his height. I didn’t understand what he was doing, so I just watched my brother.

“…”

My older brother placed the table in the center of the living room. He moved the table, which was longer than the length used to enjoy simple refreshments in the living room with the family.

“… What are you doing, hyung?”

“Study in the living room.”

“Are you crazy? I’m going to study in my room.”

My voice rose without me realizing it. My older brother was hesitant. No, why did he ask me to study in the living room rather than my room, knowing we were dating? Oh, seriously. I couldn’t do anything because I was so angry, and as I scratched my nose for no reason, my older brother looked at me with fierce eyes.

“Oh, no…”

“You’re trying to do something in your room.”

“It’s not like that…”

My mouth remained dry as I was poked inside. I moistened my dry lips with my tongue and made eye contact with my older brother before lowering my eyes. My older brother moved the table and entered the room by himself. I considered sneaking into the room with that table, but I was afraid of the consequences, so I stayed put.

Ding-Dong. The doorbell rang again. Without even having time to move the table, I ran straight to the front door. I put on my slippers and opened the front door, I saw Lim Dae-han holding two shopping bags of my favorite ice cream brand.

“… You’re here?”

“Hi.”

Lim Dae-han greeted me awkwardly. I nodded my head. As soon as I came in and pushed the doorknob a little bit more, Lim Dae-han came in slowly.

“What about your parents?”

“They’re not here.”

“Your older brother?”

“Yeah… He is here.”

Lim Dae-han and I walked past the front door. Even though Lim Dae-han frequently came to the front door of the house, he seemed a little unfamiliar because it was his first time coming inside.

“Nice house.”

I laughed awkwardly at the polite words. Everyone could tell that his house was much better…

Lim Dae-han put the ice cream shopping bag on the table. My older brother’s room opened.

“Hello.”

Lim Dae-han greeted in a low tone. My older brother fixed his gaze on Lim Dae-han before shaking his head like an old man. He didn’t even respond to Lim Dae-han’s greeting! I was irritated, and my older brother’s eyes widened when I glared at him.

“I bought this ice cream. Please eat.”

My older brother approached the table and checked the ice cream from Lim Dae-han. Lim Dae-han was more polite than usual. Perhaps it was because we were related. I was getting emotional, but my older brother, on the other hand… 

“It’s okay. I have to go out.”

“Hyung, where are you going?”

“Uh, wait… some school.”

It was suspicious to stutter his words. And then there’s school. He despises school, especially during the summer. There were a few things that seemed suspicious.

“School? But it’s vacation.”

“You don’t have to know.”

My older brother cut off my words. His preparations for the outing were then completed quickly. What was he doing dressed up like that? I tilted my head in confusion. My older brother faced Lim Dae-han. I was taken aback when the two tall people stood together. I felt small on my own. However, two people who were unaware with my heart had a conversation.

“I called to buy you food, but I suddenly had an appointment.”

“It’s all right.”

Lim Dae-han answered calmly. My older brother pulled his wallet from his pocket. He took three 50,000 won bills from the wallet he had picked up along with the car key.

“Have this for lunch and dinner. And perhaps… I don’t think I’ll be returning today. Sleep here if it’s okay with you. And f your parents were okay with it.”

“I live separately from my parents.”

At those words, my older brother’s gaze went straight to me. He was found to be living alone. Today, my older brother’s expressionless, rigid eyes were even colder. I naturally ignored the cursing in his eyes. Then I slowly lowered my eyes, trying to avoid my older brother’s sharp gaze.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

“Uh, uh… No, that’s…”

“No. I’m going. Study comfortably.”

I was afraid my older brother would hit me without guilt in front of Lim Dae-han, but luckily, the appointment was more urgent, so he turned right away. I was still standing there, clutching the three 50,000 won bills that my older brother had given me. The shutting of the door. One after the other, machine sounds were heard. I immediately raised my voice to Lim Dae-han.

“You can’t say that you live separately!”

Lim Dae-han has a puzzled expression because he has no idea what the problem is.

“Why.”

Rather, he even asked me.  I know… Come to think of it, I felt like I was the only one who was scared.  No. It was obvious that my older brother would believe that everything I had done thus far, such as staying out late and coming in late, was because Lim Dae-han was living alone.

Haaa… What should I do? But there was nothing I could do, even if I had already rotated my mind.

After emptying my mind, I put a bucket of ice cream in the freezer, grabbed two spoons, and entered the living room, where Lim Dae-han was standing. Anyway, my older brother didn’t say anything. Maybe everything will be fine. Lim Dae-han only asked why, but I went through the motions of denial and convincing myself.

Lim Dae-han quietly placed the bag on the living room table and retrieved something to study. I, too, put my ice cream down and went into my room to bring something to study.

“Let’s study hard.”

I rationalized myself.

“Yeah.”

Lim Dae-han gave me an answer to my self-talk.

***