PCL Ch 82

I went out by myself after school. I wanted to go out with Lim Dae-han at first, but I was afraid my older brother would be upset if I was late. I should avoid offending my older brother as much as possible now that I have a purpose. In front of the building, a familiar car was parked. I approached my older brother, who was sitting with the light on. I opened the door, but my older brother looked at his younger brother, who studied hard until 11 o’clock without saying a word.

I got into the passenger seat and fastened my seat belt. In the meantime, my older brother asked.

“Where are you going?”

“Mart…”

“There’s no supermarket open at this hour.”

“Some places are open until 12 o’clock. I will go there.”

“It’s always up to you anyway.”

Look who’s talking, even though he was always the one who acted like that. My older brother played music in the car. To be honest, I assumed my older brother liked foreign bands’ music. It was autumn, so the atmosphere was comfortable. It was a song that didn’t suit my older brother, but the lyrics were pretty good, so I listened quietly and went on my way.

“What about Dae-han.”

I was quietly waiting for the traffic signal to change and my older brother asked me.

“I went alone today.”

“He also studied late at night?”

“Yeah.”

Perhaps because he appeared unable to do it. His grades were rapidly improving. He received the highest grades ever after completing the National Union Academic Achievement Assessment in September. Lim Dae-han was composed, but I was overjoyed. So, after I told my older brother that Lim Dae-han had the highest score on the mock test, he kept asking me about him. In fact, it was the highest grade for Lim Dae-han, but it was the lowest grade for my older brother.

My older brother was so good at studying.  Of course, I wasn’t bad and was on the good side, but he was incredible. It was a little harsh to divide people into grades, but if I had to say it, my older brother>>>me>>Dae-han. It goes like this. Regardless, despite Lim Dae-han’s improving grades, I was worried. This was due to the fact that the exam grades in March were slightly lower than they were now. There’s a saying. The CSAT score is determined by the results of the March mock tests.

I asked my older brother who continued driving without saying a word.

“Why are you so good at studying?”

“Don’t be silly and get ready to get off.”

“…Yes.”

In any case, when I tried to lift up the atmosphere a little, the reaction was just like that.

***

There was no one in the mart because it was late at night. Nonetheless, because it was so close to the entrance exam, the students from the same school stood out quite a bit. Even though it wasn’t Valentine’s Day, I was shopping with my older brother for chocolates and candy. It was just before the entrance exam, so a large cluster of food stalls drew my attention. He stood there silently watching me. I tilted my head and hesitated, not knowing what to buy.

“Buy this.”

My older brother, who was standing beside me, pointed to something and said that. There was also red ginseng among them, so I looked at him in annoyance, and my older brother glared back. Finally, I averted my gaze first. I chose the largest, but my older brother took the tallest box and carried it in his arms.

“Buy this.”

“Will it be okay?”

“Aren’t you going to give it to Lim Dae-han?”

“…Right.”

Then he takes something similar next to him. When I asked him, “Why, hyung?” he said to don’t mind him. I told him I was going to give him money, but he said he wasn’t going to rob a kid. It didn’t appear that way, but he took the measurement anyway.

And there was no letter paper when I got home. I’m not the type to buy letter paper as a hobby, and it was clear that neither would my family. Finally, I ripped the notebook. One side of the crookedly cut paper was neatly trimmed with scissors. Then I sat at my desk and thought deeply.

What should I write…

I was hesitant because I had never written a letter before. I was worried that I would write something embarrassing and that I would cringe after reading this letter in the distant future. It was also impossible to write in such a rude way. Because I’m writing to my lover.

“It’s hard…”

I supported my chin with one hand while tapping the pen on the desk with the other. After some hesitation, I carefully scribbled the letters in my notebook.

“Shit, this is so embarrassing.”

I crumpled the paper and tore a new piece of paper.

“It’s not like I’m picking a fight. Haa.”

I crumpled the paper again, ripped a new piece of paper, and wrote it down again and again. I finished the letter by putting dots on the paper after repeating it several times.

It was harder for me to give this to Lim Dae-han than it was for me to finish writing the letter. I’ll close my eyes and hand it over as soon as we meet in the morning. I expected him to be busy before the college entrance exam. So, if I gave Lim Dae-han a letter and a gift, I didn’t know whether he would like it or not, so my mind was jumbled.

***

Lim Dae-han was standing in front of our building, as he always was. Today was the first day of the opening ceremony. Last year, on the day of the opening ceremony, I was in agony from a fight with my older brother and other things, but not today. It was just the day before the exam.

I exited the elevator and approached Lim Dae-han, who was still standing with his hands in his pockets at the apartment’s entrance. Lim Dae-han turned his back on me, and stretched his shoulders, looking tired.

“Dae-han-a.”

I got out without a sound and tapped Lim Dae-han’s shoulder, and he looked back at me. Are you surprised? It seems not. It was a different face than usual. Before he even said hi to me, I handed the shopping bag I was holding in my hand.

“What is it?”

Lim Dae-han asked quietly.

“Gift.”

As I smiled and handed it to him, Lim Dae-han carefully accepted the shopping bag. On the way to school, Lim Dae-han lifted the shopping bag. He tilted his head hesitantly.

“But I didn’t prepare anything.”

I waved my hand. This was nothing compared to what Lim Dae-han had done for me so far. And I asked him for a favor.

“It’s okay. You’re the only one who can eat this. You have to read the letter by yourself.”

“You even write a letter?”

“Yeah.”

My eyes kept twitching. There were some things that I was satisfied with, but it was even better that school ended early today. Of course, I had to go to the opening ceremony. I was assigned to a different school than Lim Dae-han. It was a little disappointing, but it could have been for the better, so Lim Dae-han was able to concentrate on the CSAT.

“Can I read the letter after the entrance exam?”

Lim Dae-han asked while looking through the shopping bag quietly.

“Why?”

“I thought it would make me uneasy.”

That was right. Instead of answering, I nodded my head.

I also had no idea what to do with the lunch box. I decided to bring the side dishes I had at home. I wasn’t sure if eating the food you used to eat was a good idea. Some guys said they were bringing porridge, but it wasn’t good food for me because my hunger would come again quickly if I eat porridge.

“How about your lunch box?”

Even though I considered packing Lim Dae-han’s lunch, I couldn’t because I couldn’t meet him on the day of the entrance exam. It seemed strange to meet in the morning and hand over a packed lunch.

“Hyung…”

“What?”

“My hyung came to pick me up in the morning. And bring me a lunch box.”

“…Wow.”

Lim Dae-han made a strange expression. It was strange and awkward because I had never heard of Lim Dae-han’s older brother before. And whether he knew my heart like this, Lim Dae-han also scratched the back of his head with a shy face.

***