PCL Ch 83

The college entrance exam has ended. It felt a little empty, and I felt strange. It was awkward for my family to openly treat me well. As of today, even my older brother hasn’t scolded me. I just had dinner with my family and returned home to spend time alone. I switched on the computer, leaving my mind to wander in random directions behind me.

Only CSAT-related content was uploaded to the Internet. The question was said to be more difficult than usual, but when I took extra points, I got a score similar to what I usually get. As a result, the expected percentile has slightly increased. I didn’t feel excited or nervous because of early admission. I took a look at my phone. It was past 8 in the evening and there had been no contact from Lim Dae-han.

Did he read it?

Did he read the letter?

If it were we, I would have been the first to call when the CSAT was over, but my phone was silent. I should contact him first. I picked up my phone and entered the recent calls list, but somehow hesitated.

Because I know I’ll be going to college at some point, the CSAT didn’t really matter to me, but Lim Dae-han was different. Everything was decided for him today in a single day. But seeing that there has been no contact so far, I was a little worried. I wonder if he couldn’t come to see me because he didn’t do well in the CSAT.

I didn’t mind if Lim Dae-han failed the CSAT. I was willing to wait even if he had to return to cram school. However, it seemed painful that I couldn’t feel the hit that Lim Dae-han would feel in such a situation. I’d like to divide it in half. My thoughts gradually shifted to the possibility that he had failed the CSAT. Lim Dae-han was unable to contact me because…

“…”

I made up my mind after holding my phone for a while. I’ll start by contacting Lim Dae-han. Let’s meet first, regardless of what he says. It was the moment I bit my lip and dialed the phone.

Vibrate, vibrate. Lim Dae-han’s name was displayed on the phone screen. Obviously, the phone vibrates, but unlike what I promised to call first, it was difficult to answer the call. Haaa. I breathed deeply. I pressed the answer button after a moment of hesitation.

– Ki Young-hyun.

Lim Dae-han’s voice was the same as usual beyond the phone. It was low and calm. He wasn’t even excited. Yes, I replied briefly.

– I’m in front of your house now.

“What?”

– Can you come out?

Of course, I can. I quickly grabbed my jumper. As expected, this year was also cold for the college entrance exam.  The temperature was quite low. I left the house without hesitation after telling my parents that I was going out for a while. My heart was racing so fast that I couldn’t even after I got on the elevator and go down to the first floor.

Lim Dae-han stood at the apartment’s front door, as he always did. We were separated by a glass door. I moved slowly, my gaze fixed on Lim Dae-han’s broad back. I need to listen carefully to what Lim Dae-han has to say and comfort him. I became more confident as I got closer to him.

“Dae-han.”

When I called his name, Lim Dae-han turned around.

He then strode to me and hugged me without hesitation or concern for the people around him. Despite the fact that I was wearing a jumper, I felt his tight arms wrapped around my back. I couldn’t speak and remained motionless in Lim Dae-han’s arms. 

I couldn’t ask if he did well on the CSAT. I couldn’t even say comforting words that it was okay. All the resolutions melted in his arms. I just liked Lim Dae-han’s warm embrace.

We stood still for a while, then moved on. Rather than a cafe where we could warm ourselves, we headed to the pavilion where we always kissed. Orange street lights illuminated the pavilion and its surroundings.

Lim Dae-han took something from there and held it out to me. The crumpled things he showed and unfolded were none other than the CSAT identification slip. It was also a place to record the outcome for provisional scoring.

“…”

“…”

I looked up at Lim Dae-han and took the identification slip he handed me. There was a result of  Lim Dae-han’s provisional scoring. My gaze was drawn directly to the score, bypassing the circle and OX. The calm eyes gradually widened. Lim Dae-han smiled brightly when I looked up at him with his eyes closed.

“…”

“…Is this real?”

“Yeah.”

It had an incredible score on it. It was all 10 points higher than the previous mock exam. The CSAT was obviously difficult. Lim Dae-han received an even higher score. This was sufficient to pursue a top-tier university in Seoul. And… It was a good enough grade to get into the same university as me.

“Haa…”

I exhaled shallowly. My hands were trembling.

Nevertheless, Lim Dae-han was calm. If I had gotten this score, I would have boasted about it and requested a placard at home. I bit my lower lip as my lips trembled. I was so moved by the thought that this result was the result of Lim Dae-han’s hard work that I couldn’t put it into words.

My gaze was drawn to Lim Dae-han’s hand. He didn’t have a band-aid on today. Instead, the scratch on his hand revealed Lim Dae-han’s efforts. And his hands were trembling. Lim Dae-han was not calm. He was pretending to be. I kept biting my lips because I thought he would have been like this even when he came outside after the CSAT. I wanted to hold his hand first.

“Haa…”

I let out another soft sigh. I rushed towards Lim Dae-han, holding the exam ticket in my hand. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck. Unlike Lim Dae-han, who tries to pretend to be calm, my tears keep coming out. And eventually…

“Why are you crying?”

Lim Dae-han said jokingly. It was embarrassing to cry, but when Lim Dae-han brought out those words, I became a catalyst and eventually burst into tears.

Lim Dae-han took my hug for a while and then grabbed my chin. Then he gave me a kiss. Kiss, kiss… It became hot as if there were hot spots everywhere the lips touched. I really like Lim Dae-han. I also put my lips where I intend to kiss. Lim Dae-han smiled as his cheeks rose.

Lim Dae-han said as he wiped my tears away with his thumb. Lim Dae-han’s mouth curled up cheerfully in front of my wet vision.

“I was dying to see you.”

“…”

“It was hard because I wanted to see you every day.”

Lim Dae-han said jokingly. I couldn’t take it any longer and kissed his lips against mine. I missed him as well, and I missed my time with him. I was lonely because I couldn’t be with him for a few days. But this opportunity also taught me something. We will take an important test as we spend more days together, and there will be times when we will be separated for a while, but I thought it would be fine. Anyway, Lim Dae-han will be by my side. And as if noticing my heart, Lim Dae-han called my name again.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

“…Yeah.”

“I had a hard time studying.”

“I know…”

“Then give me ten kisses.”

I could have done 10 times more like 100 times or 1,000 times.

I hugged Lim Dae-han again. It was autumn, so it was neither as hot as summer nor as cold as winter. On a moderately cool autumn night when some might say they were lonely, I was hugged in Lim Dae-han’s arms and kissed him constantly.