BIA Ch. 87

Bran didn’t show any particular reaction. Could it be that he didn’t understand what he said? Even knowing that couldn’t be the case, Isaiah tried to explain calmly.

“I won’t kill you. No matter whose order it is, I won’t kill you. I decided that before you even came to my house with that champagne.”

“How?”

Bran finally asked.

“You said you wouldn’t quit WD, so how are you going to refuse an order?”

“That’s my problem.”

You don’t need to worry about it. Isaiah said sharply. But Bran wasn’t one to just listen to that.

“Unless you’re planning to self-destruct, you’re going to pretend to fail the mission and go back.”

Watching the man speak with an intriguing tone, even crossing his legs, Isaiah belatedly wondered if he had made a mistake. But it couldn’t be helped. It was better to tell Bran before things got more tangled.

“Of course, WD will pretend not to know. They can’t just cast out the great Lanius after just one failure, when he’s not just any sniper. Instead, they’ll push me even harder.”

After saying that, Bran took a sip of wine. When their eyes met again, his pupils were a darker color than usual.

“Do you even know what that means? It means you’ll have to live the rest of your life killing people. Living every night with a gun under your pillow, wondering if you’ll be attacked.”

“I’ve been living like that. Nothing’s different.”

Isaiah picked up the teacup that was on the stove.

“That’s clear.”

Bran smiled as he placed his wine glass on the table.

“Okay, then I’ll ask.”

Isaiah pretended not to hear and drank his tea. He deliberately took his time, slowly drinking every last drop to avoid Bran’s question, but as soon as he put the teacup down, Bran asked.

“What kind of reaction did you expect from me when you said that?”

It was an unexpected question. It was something he hadn’t even thought about before.

“……”

As a flustered Isaiah blinked and stared, Bran rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward.

“Looks like you didn’t think that far. Then I’ll change the question. After you pretend to fail the mission, save me, and go back to WD? What do you think I’ll be like? Ah, thanks to that guy, things got resolved easily, and that’s it? Now that I’ve become the boss of the Kalisz family as I wanted, I don’t care about anything else? You think I’ll just not care what happens to you and live my life doing my own thing?”

The closer the distance, the better Isaiah could see Bran’s face. Especially his eyes. His golden eyes, which had been dark and sunken a moment ago, were now shining brilliantly, as if they had absorbed all the light from the stove. Thanks to that, the two dots embedded in his iris were clearer than ever.

“Isaiah?”

Bran urged softly. Isaiah, looking at the wriggling worms in Bran’s eyes, answered.

“……I think you would.”

Bran frowned.

“I have already been a forgotten existence to you anyway. Just continue to be that way.”

“Why are you so sure?”

Isaiah couldn’t answer right away. That’s because it was such an obvious thing in his mind, he had never thought about it deeply.

“Hmm.”

Bran’s eyes seemed to understand the reason even faster. Looking up at Isaiah with a strange smile, he soon got up with a meaningful remark.

“Well, humility is a virtue of the faithful.”

Bran snatched the empty teacup from Isaiah’s hand and went straight to the kitchen cabinet. Filling the electric kettle with water and pressing the power button, he said.

“Certainly, this is the better calculation. I saved you once, so you save me once. It’s a clean way to end it without either of us losing.”

The water didn’t seem to be much, as it quickly began to bubble. When it reached a certain temperature and the electric kettle automatically turned off, Bran poured the water over the tea bag he had placed in the teacup beforehand and asked.

“After that, will you feel a little better? Because you paid back what you owed me, will you be able to shake off the burden and get away feeling light?”

Amidst the damp smell of earth and the fresh night air, the refreshing scent of lemon filled the air again. Swallowing the sour saliva in his mouth, Isaiah mulled over Bran’s words. After saving Bran… would I feel better? Because I paid back what I owed him? Would I finally be able to forget him with a light heart?

“How is it?”

Bran held out the teacup. Isaiah looked up at Bran’s face instead of the teacup and asked.

“Do you want me to answer honestly?”

“Of course.”

“Then, ‘no’.”

Bran had an expression that said he knew it. Then there was no reason to hide it any further. Taking the teacup Bran offered, Isaiah said calmly.

“I’ll probably live my whole life thinking about Bran.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. It’s just like a habit.”

That was the only way he could express it.

“I wish I could forget, but I don’t think I can.”

“Not a habit, but like a religion.”

Bran said as he sat down in a chair.

“That’s right.” Isaiah admitted.

“I’ve been thinking about you ever since you left the orphanage. Not a single day has passed. Not that I think about you twenty-four hours a day… anyway, yeah. I didn’t have any awareness that I shouldn’t, or anything like that. Because it was natural for me. There was no reason why I shouldn’t think about it.”

“Indeed, you’ve been tainted by a cult since you were young. You’re a fanatic.”

Despite the blatant sarcasm, he didn’t feel particularly bad. Rather, it felt like he had finally found the answer. About the blind love he couldn’t understand himself. He had finally found a point of agreement that he could understand, thinking, ‘Ah, so that’s why.’

“Maybe.”

Isaiah nodded obediently.

“Maybe this is the most normal form of love for me.”

“Is that love?”

No sooner had Isaiah finished speaking than Bran asked. And then he answered himself.

“No, that’s not love. It’s worship.”

“……”

That was a little hurtful. Not even allowing the expression of love. But deep down, he himself was confused. What was the difference between love and worship? Was it not love to lust after Bran, to have sex with people who resembled him, and to satisfy his desires by calling out his name? Was it simply worship accompanied by sexual desire?

Whatever it was, he had no intention of explaining it in detail to Bran and asking for his understanding. This was entirely a matter of his own feelings. It had nothing to do with Bran.

“Okay. I have no reason to stop you if you’re going to sacrifice yourself for me.”

Bran finally picked up the wine glass on the table and said.

“But know this. You’ve already betrayed Chester once. No matter how stupid Chester is, he knows the truth that when someone who betrays once will betray again.”

“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately.”

“Yeah. You better watch your back on the day.”

Bran’s expression was too serious to be just a joke. It seemed like he had received some information.

“I will.”

Isaiah replied briefly.

“That means they’ll have another sniper behind you.”

“I understand.”

Bran stopped just before bringing the wine glass to his lips. For a moment, he felt a gaze that seemed to pierce his whole body.

“You’re saying it doesn’t matter when you die, huh.”

Bran nodded as if he finally understood. Then, lifting the wine glass in his hand, he said.

“Okay. I’ll dedicate this glass to the martyr.”

And after drinking the remaining wine in one go, he roughly put the glass down.

“……”

Isaiah couldn’t understand why Bran was so angry. If he thought about it as a fair trade, as he said, shouldn’t that be enough?

But if he said that, Bran would probably get even angrier. He could tell that much from his intuition.

It didn’t seem like the conversation would flow in a good direction if they stayed any longer. Isaiah got up from his seat.

“I’m going back.”

“Your clothes aren’t dry yet.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

He took off the blanket he had wrapped around himself and picked up the pants from the chair. As Bran said, they were still a little damp. But not so much that he couldn’t wear them.

He turned around without thinking to put on his pants, but suddenly, Bran grabbed his shoulder. Isaiah, who had turned around without thinking, felt his blood run cold in an instant.

Bran was looking at his back.

“This……”

How should he describe that look? That look that was a mixture of shock, joy, and sadness. Yes, it was like the look of someone who had reunited with a lover they thought was dead. The touch of his hand stroking his back was the same. He was touching the henna that was already half-erased with his fingertips, and that touch was so tender that it was almost pitiful.

For the first time, sincerely, Isaiah hated Bran.

“Let go.”

Isaiah pushed Bran away irritably. He even staggered because he pushed him too hard, but he turned around before Bran could grab him. He didn’t want to be grabbed by him. He didn’t want to show him his back either.

“Do you always like doing such childish things?”

Isaiah put on his pants while deliberately facing him, mocking him as much as possible.

“Or did you lower yourself to the level of that nineteen-year-old? You did all sorts of things for five days.”

“Childish things, huh.”

Bran crossed his arms and repeated the words. He laughed for quite a while, seemingly finding it very funny, and savored the words before finally raising his head to look at Isaiah and say,

“Right, henna tattoos. It’s quite childish to get one when you’re over thirty. It’s better to break into an empty house and steal books, wouldn’t you say?”

Isaiah was speechless at the unexpected retort. At the same time, his face flushed hot.