HCILH Ch. 88

Chapter 88: Confession

Ran Shu returned to the dorm holding his sports uniform. Upon seeing that Sui Houyu was asleep, he felt relieved and looked at Hou Mo, asking: “Made up?”

“Yeah, kind of.” Hou Mo responded hesitantly.

In truth, he wasn’t sure. Midway through their reconciliation, Sui Houyu had fallen asleep, so the outcome was still uncertain.

However, one thing was clear: as long as Sui Houyu stayed upset, Hou Mo would keep apologizing without hesitation.

Ran Shu hung Sui Houyu’s school uniform on the railing of his own bed, letting it drape down onto Sui Houyu’s bed.

Seeing this, Hou Mo asked: “Could you put it somewhere else? Waking up in the middle of the night and seeing something hanging there makes me feel like there’s someone standing next to my bed. It’s terrifying.”

Ran Shu moved the clothes and muttered: “F-For someone who’s scared of everything, you sure have the nerve to mess with Brother Yu. But for all that courage, you’re still frightened of the smallest things.”

Even Hou Mo, known for his sharp tongue, found himself speechless at this.

After organizing their sports uniforms, Ran Shu asked, almost nonchalantly: “What’s going on with Sang Xian…?”

“He’s fine. He’ll be back to school once he sorts out his feelings.”

“Oh.” Ran Shu continued fussing with the clothes, hesitated a moment, then asked, “Did h-he hurt himself badly this time?”

“No, he just cried.”

Ran Shu reacted as if hearing the most shocking news and leaned in, asking eagerly: “He cried? What did it sound like? Was it like ‘wah-wah’ crying?”

Wouldn’t that completely shatter the persona of the cool, dominating type?

Hou Mo didn’t answer and merely stared at Ran Shu in silence.

Ran Shu felt awkward under Hou Mo’s gaze, scoffed, and climbed up to his bed, changing his clothes in a way that made the whole frame shake.

Hou Mo, still worried about Sui Houyu’s eating, asked Ran Shu as he stood up after changing: “Brother Yu hasn’t eaten anything yet. Should I wake him up for dinner?”

Ran Shu, who was now holding his phone and opening up a game, lazily replied: “Skipping one meal won’t kill him, but if you wake him up when he’s sleep-deprived, you’re dead.”

“Okay, got it.”

Hou Mo dropped the idea of waking Sui Houyu and lay down beside him to sleep.

*

When Sui Houyu woke up the next morning, he felt groggy.

First, because he was hungry.

Second, because sleeping in a dress shirt had left his neck feeling unbearably stiff. Those scenes of female leads in TV shows wearing the male lead’s shirt to bed were purely for show—anyone who’s tried it knows it’s incredibly uncomfortable.

Once he gathered his wits, he noticed Hou Mo staring at him intently from the bedside, which made him recall the events before they’d fallen asleep, sparking an awkward tension.

Just then, Ran Shu climbed down from the upper bunk, complaining: “Running twenty laps in the morning and then training in the afternoon—I’m going to turn into a muscle man. I even have shark lines near my ribs, and I’m still five pounds heavier on the scale.”

Deng Yiheng chimed in: “Muscle weighs more than fat; that’s normal. Muscles look great!”

“No, they don’t.” Ran Shu said, always having disliked muscular physiques, finding them too greasy.

Listening to their chatter, Sui Houyu quickly interjected to prevent Hou Mo from bringing up last night’s events: “We’ll talk about it later. I need to wash up first.”

He stood up, hesitating for a moment as he looked at his school uniform, then grabbed a short-sleeved sports shirt to change into. Before he could proceed, Hou Mo pushed him back inside the bed’s privacy curtain, pulling it closed: “Change in here.”

Sui Houyu was baffled by Hou Mo’s actions.

Deng Yiheng glanced over and quickly announced” “I’m not looking, I’m not looking! Off to claim a sink!”

Ran Shu also looked over and muttered: “I-I’ve scrubbed Brother Yu’s back plenty of times. Is this necessary?”

Shen Junjing, who was already at the washroom, and Sang Xian, who hadn’t returned to school yet, were obviously uninvolved, never even considering sneaking a glance.

After changing, Sui Houyu pulled back the curtain, stood up, and smacked Hou Mo with the shirt in his hand: “You’re nuts!”

After scolding him, he grabbed his toiletries and headed for the washroom.

Hou Mo followed along, reaching out to tug at Sui Houyu’s shirt hem, only for Sui Houyu to shake him off. “I said we’ll talk later.”

There were so many people around; acting like this was just inappropriate!

Hou Mo nodded obediently and didn’t push any further.

He knew that Sui Houyu was shy and prideful, and now he was probably feeling embarrassed and annoyed.

Morning exercises and breakfast proceeded as usual, with Sui Houyu behaving normally toward him.

In the classroom, they sat as desk mates, with Sui Houyu focused on the lessons as usual. Nothing seemed out of place.

However, the lack of communication only made Hou Mo more anxious as time dragged on, his mind spiraling with worries.

Why was Brother Yu avoiding him?

Was it because Brother Yu, who had previously shown aversion to the idea of being gay, now couldn’t process being kissed by another guy?

Was Brother Yu troubled by this unexpected situation?

Or was it that Brother Yu, too shocked to react immediately at the time, hadn’t managed to struggle before falling asleep? Did Brother Yu not have feelings for him?

With time, Hou Mo began to imagine how he would handle a rejection.

Would pursuing Brother Yu bring him pressure?

Should he reassure Brother Yu that the debt was solely his responsibility and that he would never let it implicate Brother Yu? At his current rate of earnings, he could repay everything by the time they graduated high school.

After that, with more competitions and opportunities in college, he might win even larger prizes.

He could buy a spacious condo in the city center. If Brother Yu didn’t want to live with his mother, he’d buy two separate places.

He’d cook breakfast for Brother Yu every morning…

A sudden thought popped up—

Hey, wouldn’t buying a villa be even better?

A grand villa out in the countryside, just the two of them. At night, when everything’s quiet—it’d be perfect for having s*x.

It would be perfect.

The thought made him glance at Sui Houyu, who was jabbing at his notebook with a carving knife, then looking at Hou Mo coldly when he noticed the glance. Startled, Hou Mo quickly shifted his eyes to the blackboard, heart racing.

What if the next stab was aimed at him?

The thought made him wipe the cold sweat from his brow.

Meanwhile, Sui Houyu was thinking.

What did Hou Mo’s actions yesterday mean? Did he like him too? Do they like each other?

Now that he was certain there was no ambiguity between Hou Mo and Sang Xian, and Hou Mo seemed to reciprocate his feelings, did this mean they were headed towards a relationship?

But wasn’t Hou Mo too masculine-looking to be a bottom? Could two “tops” have a smooth relationship?

Judging by Hou Mo’s demeanor, he probably intended to take the lead in the relationship, right?

If he tried anything funny, he’d pay the price! Sui Houyu had never entertained the idea of being submissive.

And how would they handle the fact that one kiss had put him to sleep? Was Hou Mo his soulmate, who soothed him into deep slumber?

That could be comforting.

But having an automatic sleep trigger with just one touch was troublesome.

Seriously, why did he fall asleep before he had enough kisses? 

He glanced at Hou Mo, his gaze filled with possessiveness, like a claim over territory. Hou Mo was his.

Hou Mo’s fair skin looked tempting enough to bite. Despite being taller and appearing bulkier, he had an endearing charm.

Would Hou Mo cry if he were the submissive one? He sure had loved the way Hou Mo cried in the equipment room.

That thought lit a spark of excitement in Sui Houyu.

Capping the carving knife, he started planning. Today was Friday, so after school, he’d drag Hou Mo home.

He was eager to see if he could make Hou Mo cry.

Instinctively licking his lips, he happily organized his desk and then looked up at the blackboard.

As long as Hou Mo was by his side, Sui Houyu didn’t need distractions like carving crafts.

Hou Mo’s presence was enough.

Having Hou Mo near calmed any restlessness, like the reassuring heartbeat of a mother to her baby or the cozy warmth of being indoors during a storm.

*

Hou Mo and Sui Houyu shared a ride home in a van.

After getting out, they walked toward their neighborhood, with Sui Houyu in the lead and Hou Mo trailing behind, nervously rehearsing his confession in his mind.

Suddenly, Sui Houyu stopped and turned to look at him.

They were near the back gate of the neighborhood, where an old stone table for playing chess stood. With the weather turning cold, no elderly men were around, making it unusually quiet.

A crooked tree stood beside the table, lush and leafy in summer, forming a natural sunshade. Now, only the bare branches swayed alone in the wind.

When Sui Houyu turned around, the cold wind lifted his bangs, revealing a broad forehead. His beautiful eyes fixed on Hou Mo with a calm gaze that unexpectedly made Hou Mo feel nervous.

In the end, it was Sui Houyu who spoke first. “It seems like you’ve had something you wanted to say all day.”

He really wanted to know Hou Mo’s thoughts first.

“Ah! Uh.” Hou Mo suddenly felt a surge of nerves, and after taking a moment to compose himself, he said, “I… I like you. You must have guessed by now, right?”

“Yeah.” Sui Houyu nodded, and as soon as he heard it, an unconscious smile appeared at the corners of his mouth.

Joy spread through him, warming him from head to toe, like sunlight breaking through a cloudy sky or a fire kindled in a cold room, brightening his entire mood in an instant.

Hou Mo continued: “I know you used to be straight, that you liked girls like Ai Mengtian, and that your stepfather is somewhat homophobic. I understand all that, so I’ll keep waiting for you.”

Listening to this, Sui Houyu’s mood took a sharp dive.

Wait for him?

Why wait?

Why not just date now and be done with it?

Hou Mo didn’t give Sui Houyu a chance to interrupt and kept speaking: “So, you don’t have to rush to respond! I’ll keep pursuing you, waiting until you can accept dating a guy, until you can accept me. I know it’s a hard process and it might take you a long time, but that’s okay. I’ll wait for you. No rush, I’ll chase you slowly, always.”

Sui Houyu pressed his lips together, unable to say anything.

What could he say? Tell him he was in a hurry?

Hou Mo had said everything; there was nothing left for him to say.

Seeing that Sui Houyu was silent, Hou Mo quickly added: “It’s okay, don’t feel pressured. And don’t worry about my family either. I’ll keep working hard and speed up paying off our family’s debts so it won’t be a burden on you. My mom’s health has also improved, so there’s no need to worry about that either.”

“That’s something I hadn’t even thought of…” In truth, Sui Houyu hadn’t considered Hou Mo’s family situation. To him, it wasn’t a problem—if Hou Mo mentioned an amount, Sui Houyu could pay off his debts within two days.

“Yeah, and you don’t have to worry about inheritance issues, either. With me, there’s nothing to worry about. I’ve known I was gay since I was young, and I never even thought about having kids, so…”

Sui Houyu suddenly realized something was off; a realization hit him, making his mind go blank for a moment before clearing. He quickly asked: “You’ve always been gay?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why did you tell me you were straight?”

“I was… pretending, afraid you’d overthink things.”

Sui Houyu suddenly shouted: “I just figured it out now—were you rejecting me that night?! Am I the type you can’t stand?! You rejected me?!”

At the most awkward moment, Sui Houyu finally pieced together what had caused Hou Mo’s embarrassment.

The mood during the confession changed drastically, and Sui Houyu’s eyes even seemed to blaze.

It was anger.

“That was a misunderstanding…” Hou Mo wished he could slap himself. Why had he spoken so rashly back then? The other person hadn’t even shown anything, yet he had preemptively rejected them.

Sui Houyu had just now pieced together what Hou Mo’s words had meant back then.

He’d been confused before, thinking that he’d angered Hou Mo by unexpectedly going to his bed, and wondering if Hou Mo’s weird way of speaking was indicative of a writing style that often veered off-topic.

Thinking it through now, he’d been rejected long ago!

And he was the type that Hou Mo couldn’t accept?

Sui Houyu’s anger turned into a bitter laugh as he asked: “You couldn’t accept me before, but now you like me?”

“No, no! Let me explain!”

“Alright, explain away.”

“Can I come up with a reason in two days?” He couldn’t think of anything right now, his mind was completely blank in his panic.

“Fine, good luck with that!” Sui Houyu stormed off, his steps quick and urgent, desperate to get home so he wouldn’t have to look at this infuriating fool any longer.

Hou Mo panicked and chased after Sui Houyu, grabbing his bag and refusing to let go: “Brother Yu, don’t be mad! I’m serious, I really do like you.”

“Really like someone you find impossible to accept?”

“No, it was love at first sight! You’re my ideal type.”

“Love at first sight and you torment me daily? Is this how you show it? Do you know how annoying I found you at first? Can’t you at least make your excuses sound believable?”

Hou Mo’s immature attempts at catching Sui Houyu’s attention hadn’t earned him any approval.

Hou Mo kept apologizing: “Brother Yu, I was wrong. Don’t be mad! This is my first time liking someone; I have no experience.”

“You’d better stay away from me, or I might hit you.”

The two of them kept up this chase all the way to Sui Houyu’s front door. Sui Houyu unlocked it and stepped inside.

Hou Mo, who knew the door code, was about to enter it when he saw that ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode had been activated, making him feel disheartened in an instant.

A confession ending up like this was rare indeed.

Unwilling to give up, Hou Mo knocked on the door: “Brother Yu, can I come in? Aren’t you going to sleep tonight?”

“I slept too much yesterday, not tired!” Sui Houyu shouted through the door.

“My mom’s tutoring me tonight.”

“I have a study app subscription, not coming out!”

“I’ll cook you braised chicken and rice tonight.”

“Not eating, go away!”

Hou Mo had seen his friends pursue girls. Some succeeded, leading to sweet relationships; others chased endlessly without an end in sight.

It was either sweet or bewildering.

Hou Mo was different. On the very first day of his confession, he’d nearly gotten beaten up.

He dug this hole himself, and it hurt when he fell into it.