LS Ch 14

It wasn’t about vocalizing his pain. It felt as though he didn’t even have the right to grieve, as if he had been suppressing his emotions to the point where they reached their limit, leaving him gasping for air, suffocating.

With a look of concern, ‘Lady Kim’ gently patted Jewoo’s back. Her eyes were also reddened. It was only under her touch that the dam holding back his emotions finally burst, and Jewoo began to sob. Yet, even then, he couldn’t cry out loud—he wept in silence, stifling his tears. After what seemed like an eternity of crying as if his heart would break, he finally slumped over, and only then did the director call for a cut.

“Wow…”

Exclamations of awe escaped not just from Yejun but from everyone around. One of the staff rushed over to help Jewoo up. He seemed genuinely exhausted, his expression dazed even after standing. Eventually, Jiho, his manager, supported him to a chair, forced him to drink some water, and only then did Jewoo nod weakly, indicating he was okay.

It was hard to believe that just before the shoot, he had been casually chatting with Choi Jiyoo and Yejun, exchanging trivial remarks. The moment the director gave the cue, only ‘Haeyul’ remained in that spot.

“It’s astonishing every time I see it.”

Choi Jiyoo sighed in admiration, as if she had expected this.

“I guess I was mistaken earlier.”

Yejun muttered, his face pale and distant.

“About what?”

“About Jewoo being upset over Yiwon’s scandal.”

“Ah.”

Choi Jiyoo seemed to understand what Yejun was thinking. Normally, if there’s emotional turbulence in daily life, it inevitably affects one’s acting. Yejun seemed to believe that if Jewoo had truly been even slightly upset about Yiwon’s scandal, he wouldn’t have been able to immerse himself so completely in his role.

“But you know, even if he heard news about his parents passing, he’d finish filming his scenes before leaving.”

“What? Seriously?”

Yejun looked shocked, as if he couldn’t believe it.

“That’s how he was raised as an actor.”

“Isn’t that too cold?”

“It’s not about being cold.”

Choi Jiyoo patted Yejun’s shoulder as if to say, “What do you know?” Surviving as an actor from childhood to this age was no easy feat. Countless child actors had come and gone like comets, but Jewoo was one of the few who had consistently landed roles. Popularity was another matter, but at least directors and production companies recognized him as a ‘reliable actor.’ That was entirely the result of Jewoo’s own efforts.

🎞️✮⋆˙

Even after returning to the hotel, Jewoo lay on the bed, drained and staring blankly at the ceiling. Filming action scenes was less exhausting than crying scenes like today’s. While filming sword fights, he often got injured, but that was preferable. After filming a crying scene, it felt like his soul had been drained, leaving his mind completely empty. It wasn’t just physical exhaustion—it felt like his emotions had been completely sucked dry.

He had requested to schedule the crying scene as the last shoot, but because Kang Yiwon hadn’t returned on time, there were still a few more scenes to film afterward. Gathering his emotions and immersing himself in other scenes was twice as hard as usual. It might not have been noticeable to others, but by the time he returned to the hotel, he was so spent that he didn’t even want to move a finger.

He needed to wash up properly… but he hadn’t even fully removed his makeup, and the thought of moving was unbearable. As he lay still, staring at the ceiling, random thoughts began to flood his mind.

What if Kang Yiwon was really dating Kim Arin? What would happen to the drama? The production company would surely dislike it. Considering the drama, Yiwon’s agency probably wouldn’t acknowledge the relationship right away. It would’ve been better if the news broke at least a month after the drama premiered.

As he worried about the drama in the most ordinary way, he suddenly felt a surge of emotion. If Yiwon was dating someone else, why had he acted that way toward him? Even if it was for the sake of immersing himself in the role, why did he have to say things like “Let’s date” or “I like you,” confusing him…?

Thinking that far, he let out a bitter laugh.

So, I was confused after all.

Even though he thought he had it all under control, at some point, the boundaries had blurred. Jewoo couldn’t help it. The drama was in full swing, and ‘Haeyul’s’ emotions had shifted significantly toward ‘Geonhwon’ compared to the beginning. Even if he hadn’t been fully immersed in the role throughout the filming period, the character’s emotions couldn’t help but influence his real feelings.

Was the discomfort he felt when he saw Kang Yiwon’s scandal video ultimately jealousy?

Jealousy? He let out a hollow laugh. Who would’ve thought he’d ever feel jealous over a man in his life?

It’s all Han Jiho’s fault.

He found himself blaming his innocent manager and cousin. If he ended up becoming gay, he’d blame Han Jiho for it.

“What am I doing?”

Letting his thoughts drift aimlessly seemed to make things worse. He decided it was better to force himself up and shower, hoping to wash away the unnecessary thoughts.

🎞️✮⋆˙

After knocking on the door several times with no response, Jiho called Jewoo’s phone, but it just kept ringing without an answer. Jewoo had seemed more exhausted than usual today, and Jiho was worried. When he didn’t answer the door or his phone, Jiho grew concerned.

“Han Jewoo! Are you in there?”

After calling out once more as a formality, Jiho used his key card to open the door and entered. He didn’t think anything was wrong, but he was worried Jewoo might have collapsed.

“Han Jewoo?”

The room was empty. Given Jewoo’s personality, it was unusual for him to go out somewhere during filming. Especially on a day like today, he would’ve been even more reluctant to move. Just in case, Jiho walked over to the bathroom and heard the sound of water running. He finally let out a sigh of relief.

It seemed Jewoo had only just started washing up after being in the room for a while. No doubt he had been lying down, completely exhausted, unable to move. That’s why Jiho had come—to force him into the shower if necessary.

Jiho placed the fatigue recovery supplements and vitamins he had brought on the table and sat on the bed to wait. Since he was already here, he planned to make sure Jewoo took all his supplements before leaving.

While waiting, Jiho scrolled through his phone. Not long after, there was a knock at the door.

“Who is it?”

Jiho called out loudly from the bed. Whether the person outside didn’t hear him or was startled because it wasn’t Jewoo’s voice, the knocking stopped, and there was no response. Reluctantly, Jiho got up and went to the door.

“Who is it?”

When he asked again, the person finally replied, asking if this was Han Jewoo’s room. The voice sounded familiar, so Jiho opened the door to find Kang Yiwon standing there.

“Kang Yiwon? What brings you here at this hour?”

It was already past 11 p.m. Jiho hadn’t heard any news of Yiwon returning by the time filming ended, so he had assumed Yiwon might not come back today. But judging by his attire, it seemed he had just arrived. It was strange that he had come to see Jewoo right away.

“Is Jewoo hyeong…?”

Yiwon glanced inside the room.

“Ah, Jewoo is…”

Jiho was about to say he was showering when the bathroom door clicked open. Turning around, he saw Jewoo stepping out of the bathroom, a towel barely covering his lower half. Since he lived alone, it was natural for him not to be cautious, and being his cousin before his manager, Jewoo didn’t bother being careful around Jiho. Still, Jiho thought it wasn’t appropriate for Yiwon to see him like this, so he quickly stood in front of the door to block the view.

“He just finished showering. Can you wait a moment? I’ll let him know you’re here once he’s dressed.”

Without waiting for a response, Jiho closed the door. Yiwon had looked like he wanted to say something, but since his business was with Jewoo and not Jiho, it didn’t matter.

“Who’s here?”

Jewoo asked, noticing Jiho standing by the door.

“Kang Yiwon. Did you have plans to meet?”

“Not that I know of.”

Jewoo seemed just as clueless.

“Then why is he here at this hour without notice?”

“No idea.”

Jewoo answered vaguely, picking up the towel to dry his wet hair and grabbing his phone from the bed to check.

“He did call. I just missed it.”

He must not have heard the call while showering.

“Hurry up and get dressed. I left him waiting in the hallway.”

Despite Jiho’s urging, Jewoo showed no sign of rushing. It seemed he didn’t care much even if someone was waiting outside.

“Does he come often?”

The question was vague, but Jewoo understood, letting out a long hum before shaking his head.

“Not often. Once in a while?”

“What do you do when he comes?”

Jiho wondered what more they could have to talk about after spending the whole day filming together. Why would Yiwon come to his hotel room separately?

“Not much. Just play games or watch movies sometimes.”

“You guys have energy to spare.”

Jiho commented, surprised they had the energy to hang out after filming. Jewoo just chuckled. It wasn’t him who had energy to spare—it was Kang Yiwon. But he didn’t feel the need to say that.