NFS 1.13

Joo Seung-ha couldn’t respond this time. Instead, he offered his hand to Baekseol, who had turned around, to sniff him. Then he seemed to momentarily pause at Kyung-tak’s words.

“We suspected it might be the same person, but Jjang Nuna said that Ahn-jae is a common name in the Seo family. Wow, that’s the first I’ve heard of it.”

It couldn’t be common. Joo Seung-ha swallowed his response and barely lifted his eyes to meet the others’ gazes. Jjang Nuna was still excitedly sharing her Seo Ahn-jae experience stories with her enthusiastic audience. Only when Baekseol kept pushing his head into Joo Seung-ha’s palm asking to be petted did he move his stiffened hand as if coming back to his senses. He stroked Baekseol’s head as desired. Jjang Nuna’s voice stood out particularly loud among those gathered there.

“What was he wearing?”

“Just casual clothes. Seems like IT companies have a flexible dress code. Oh, but even though it was just a regular shirt and pants, when Seo Ahn-jae wore them, he made them look like luxury brands.”

“Wow, was it a spa brand?”

“No, it was luxury.”

The listeners all nodded their heads.

“Of course.”

“Right. Someone like him should wear luxury brands.”

***

‘9 p.m. Company.’

It was the first chauffeur call. Joo Seung-ha had to get up again after barely spending 30 minutes at home after visiting the shelter. Ah, isn’t calling on Sunday unfair? Though he grumbled internally, seeing Seo Ahn-jae working on Sunday reminded him of the past version of Seo Ahn-jae he had fallen for, making him frown. Still obsessed with work, it seems.

But he knew better than to fall for that image again. Wanting to get it over with quickly, he dragged his tired body to Seo Ahn-jae’s company. The building where no one had come to work was eerily quiet as if a murderer might jump out at any given moment. He received a visitor pass from the security guard who walked him over to Seo Ahn-jae’s office.

“For security reasons, outside visitors cannot move around alone.”

He added this unsolicited explanation before bowing and leaving. Security, huh. What kind of amazing program are they making exactly? There probably weren’t any movie-like incidents of thieves stealing programs under development in this type of field anyway. All you needed to do was poach the developers.

Come to think of it, Seo Ahn-jae was quite conscious about security in the past too. He never showed his work whenever he brought his laptop. Ah, that was probably just because he disliked me. Joo Seung-ha corrected his thoughts as he opened Seo Ahn-jae’s office door. The moment he did so, hee saw someone sitting behind a large dark brown desk. Still focused on his monitor even as Joo Seung-ha entered the room, the other man gestured toward the sofa with his chin.

“Sit.”

Joo Seung-ha looked down at the long sofa, thinking it didn’t fit into the whole aesthetic of the room at all. Besides Seo Ahn-jae’s work desk, his office was dominated by what appeared to be a conference table and chairs in the center. The conference table and chairs were the same as those in the meeting room from a few days ago. Due to the large table, the protagonist of this room seemed to be the conference table rather than Seo Ahn-jae.

That was why the long sofa against the wall near Seo Ahn-jae’s desk felt somewhat out of place. It looked like the only comfortable spot in this rigid office. Comfortable enough for Seo Ahn-jae to catch a brief nap while working. That wasn’t why he didn’t want to sit. There was simply no reason to sit.

“It’s 9 o’clock.”

Joo Seung-ha announced that he had arrived at the specified time of the text.

“I know.”

Seo Ahn-jae muttered casually without taking his eyes off the monitor, then glanced up.

“Wait there.”

He indicated the sofa again with his eyes, not the multiple conference chairs. Once again, Joo Seung-ha only looked at it without bothering to sit down.

“How long do I have to wait?”

“As long as I tell you to.”

Joo Seung-ha looked at him with incredulous eyes, but Seo Ahn-jae was still absorbed in his monitor. Knowing how focused Seo Ahn-jae could be while working, Joo Seung-ha realized this meant an indefinite wait. Then you shouldn’t have called now. Clicking his tongue internally, he headed for the door to leave Seo Ahn-jae’s office. However, before opening it, he heard an annoyed voice.

“Listen.”

Though Seo Ahn-jae remained focused on the monitor while typing something quickly, he added as though he already knew ahead of time that Joo Seung-ha would turn around, “If you’re going to be difficult like this for all ten times, just quit.”

His voice was as perfunctory as the mixed typing sounds. Joo Seung-ha suppressed his desire to ignore him and leave by remembering Jjang Nuna and the shelter people who had been so happy today. Moving reluctantly to the sofa, he replied, “If this kind of behavior bothers you, you should be hospitalized. Stop being a menace to society.”

There was no irritation in Joo Seung-ha’s voice. Instead, it was so soft it sounded gentle, but if the shelter people had heard it, they would have realized he was truly annoyed. This was a skill developed from years in sales. When there were confrontational situations with clients, saying everything that needed to be said in this type of voice would make the other party freeze instead, thinking, ‘This guy’s something else.’ Seo Ahn-jae slightly raised one corner of his mouth as if amused.

“You can take me there.”

However, this didn’t work on Seo Ahn-jae. Joo Seung-ha stared at him, simply at a loss for words. This response was more uncomfortable than him being sharp with him. For Joo Seung-ha, a relationship of demands and threats was enough. Playful responses like talking to a friend didn’t suit this relationship.

But Seo Ahn-jae casually threw out bait, arbitrarily broadening the relationship’s scope. Right, it was bait. Joo Seung-ha remembered how many people had been delighted by his casual jokes and smiles. He also remembered the flushed faces of those who mistakenly thought their relationship with Seo Ahn-jae had deepened.

Was it fortunate that he wasn’t part of that crowd now? Joo Seung-ha turned his eyes away from the working Seo Ahn-jae and looked around the large office again. It was spacious and clean, but uncomfortable. Though it wasn’t hot or cold, and there weren’t any particular smells, an alien tension was palpable in this space. There was a coolness like being in a beast’s cage that existed somewhere, though invisible.

It had always been like this wherever Seo Ahn-jae went. He made everywhere his territory. When young, Joo Seung-ha’s heart had fluttered even at this tense feeling. That was why when Seo Ahn-jae came to the hotel, he was so breathlessly happy, and when Seo Ahn-jae was in another room working, he would try desperately to see him even through door cracks. Because before this, Seo Ahn-jae had never let him in the room while working.

But now that he had no desire to enter Seo Ahn-jae’s territory, Seo Ahn-jae forcibly held him there. Joo Seung-ha found it quite ironic as he sat down on the sofa. When he wanted it so badly, it wasn’t even within fingertip’s reach, but now when he didn’t want it at all, it was being forced on him—was this God’s way of saying ‘eat this’? Joo Seung-ha lay down on the sofa and announced to the other man, “Wake me when you’re done.”

Though it was inside a beast’s cage, fatigue eventually won out. When he closed his eyes, deep sleep soon dragged him into darkness.

***

Just minutes after Seung-ha lay down, the keyboard sounds filling the office stopped. At some point, Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes had moved from the monitor to Joo Seung-ha sleeping on the sofa. Joo Seung-ha had truly fallen asleep within minutes. Seo Ahn-jae found this both fascinating and irritating.

In the past, he would hardly ever let himself fall asleep when with Seo Ahn-jae. How annoying it had been, the way his whole body clearly showed his desire to share even one more second with Seo Ahn-jae. That was why Seo Ahn-jae would deliberately push him harder and thrust more intensely to make him sleep. Only when he fell asleep and those watching eyes closed did it become tolerable.

But now he had closed his eyes first. Seo Ahn-jae slowly walked over while keeping his gaze on Joo Seung-ha and looked down at his sleeping form. His legs on the sofa were bent at the knee, causing them to spread slightly. This made his jeans pull taut between his thighs. The outline of his member was slightly visible through the fabric. Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes hungrily traced Joo Seung-ha’s body.

He wanted to force his way between those legs, spread them wide, and push until their lower bodies met. If he inserted himself fully and pressed their bodies together, he could feel Joo Seung-ha’s aroused member against his lower abdomen. If he told him with words how hot it was, how aroused he was, those large eyes would be filled with anger and confusion.

The image of subduing him while ignoring his resistance came vividly to mind. Just thinking about it made his lower body throb lustfully. But instead of reaching out for him, Seo Ahn-jae put his hands in his pockets. Though it felt like he might lose control if he watched any longer, he wanted to enjoy this precarious desire a bit more. Seo Ahn-jae’s half-lidded eyes slowly traced up from Joo Seung-ha’s waist.

His chest rising slightly with each breath, the collarbone briefly visible through his shifted shirt, the nape of his neck that would fit perfectly in one hand, his soft jawline, and finally his lips. Those slightly parted red flesh. He wanted to thrust himself deep inside. Feeling his limit, Seo Ahn-jae left the office and headed for the shower facilities used by employees working overtime. The fascination didn’t fade the whole way there. Why did it feel so precious to want to touch him now?

***

Cold water droplets hit his face. Like raindrops, the feeling of several drops falling made Joo Seung-ha twitch slightly and open his eyes wide. Before he could grasp reality, his awakening consciousness stopped at the figure in his view. Seo Ahn-jae was looking down at him while drying his wet hair with a towel. Though the eyes that met his were his usual indifferent ones, Joo Seung-ha strangely felt short of breath, as if he had just faced a beast with its jaws open.

“Ah, what time is it now…”

Joo Seung-ha quickly sat up while looking around for a clock. 9:50. I slept this long? As Joo Seung-ha was internally shocked, Seo Ahn-jae’s light tone could be heard.

“You were snoring.”

Joo Seung-ha, about to stand up, paused and turned around. Seo Ahn-jae was approaching his desk with the towel in hand, seemingly planning to leave his hair half-wet. Joo Seung-ha blankly watched him, wondering if he really had snored. He had been particularly tired working in the heat today. When Joo Seung-ha didn’t respond, Seo Ahn-jae picked up his smartphone from the desk, put it in his pocket, and turned around.

“You were talking in your sleep too.”

…Ah, shit. Joo Seung-ha finally realized he was joking. Normally, he would have dismissed it as nonsense, but he was still slightly dazed from just waking up.

“Did I curse at you, senior?”

“No. You were saying there were too many returns of cold-pressed dog food.”

Huh? Since it sounded like something he would say, Joo Seung-ha became confused again. Did he really talk in his sleep? Seo Ahn-jae perched on his desk and stared at Joo Seung-ha’s confused face while adding,”You were begging, saying ‘I can’t accept more returns. I’ll pay with my body, senior.'”

It was nonsense after all. Joo Seung-ha looked at him sarcastically.

“Oh really? So I was supplying to you, senior. Well, dog food must be your staple diet.”

Seo Ahn-jae’s lips curved at this clever way of calling him a son-of-a-bitch. Though his expression didn’t change much, his eyes clearly showed amusement.

“Is your company’s dog food any good?”

Caught off guard by the unexpected question, Joo Seung-ha answered truthfully, “No. It’s hard and only has a strong smell, no taste.”

“…”

“What?”

“I was asking if the dog food from your company was good for dogs.”

Ah. Joo Seung-ha realized he had been too honest just now. Seo Ahn-jae looked at him incredulously and asked, “You’ve tried dog food?”

Of course, he had.

“Yes. Since it’s what we sell.”

“I don’t eat what I sell.”

“That’s because you can’t see it. Even if you could, it’s not even food, so why would you.”

What nonsense. Joo Seung-ha furrowed his brow before noticing Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes were laughing. But it didn’t show in his expression, and he continued casually, “Dog food isn’t meant for humans anyway.”

Though he didn’t like Seo Ahn-jae’s almost playful response, getting defensive about dog food had become almost an occupational hazard.

“When war breaks out and there’s nothing to eat, you’ll be bowing to dogs while eating their food, grateful for how high-protein and nutritious it is.”

Seo Ahn-jae now turned his head to the side, unable to suppress his curving lips. Joo Seung-ha didn’t understand. What was so funny? The war? Bowing to dogs?

“I didn’t know it had such high-protein nutrition.”

Joo Seung-ha, the top dog food salesperson for five consecutive years, was even more confused.

“Our company makes only the most premium food, so it’s all high-protein.”

“Ah, right.”

“It probably has a higher content than the protein bars you eat when working out.”

Ha. Seo Ahn-jae couldn’t hold back and let out a short laugh while running his hand through his hair. Joo Seung-ha was still bewildered, not understanding why he was laughing. Seo Ahn-jae took a deep breath, seemingly calming himself as he erased his smile and turned to look at the blinking, confused Joo Seung-ha.

“No matter how much you try to sell it to me, I’m not buying dog food.”

“No, I wasn’t trying to sell…”

Joo Seung-ha stopped speaking as soon as he saw Seo Ahn-jae’s smile curl at the corners. It seemed like another joke. The casual jokes and laughter suggested they were close, but Joo Seung-ha couldn’t get used to this. He realized he was subconsciously rejecting this dynamic. Perhaps that was why he couldn’t properly respond to the jokes and fumbled around like a fool. He disliked everything about this situation. Sensing Joo Seung-ha’s mood, Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes suddenly turned cold.

“Why?”

“It’s just strange to see you smile, senior.”

“I smile a lot normally.”

“I know. You just never smiled at me.”

Seo Ahn-jae’s lips curled again, but his eyes remained unsmiling.

“You never smiled at me either.”

“That can’t be true.”

How could that be when my heart raced with joy every time I saw you? Seo Ahn-jae looked at him with strange eyes and spoke slowly.

“You never showed a real smile.”

A real smile. Joo Seung-ha found it hard to argue with Seo Ahn-jae’s words. While he was always filled with joy and excitement when seeing him back then, fear and terror were always present in equal measure. Perhaps that was why they weren’t real smiles.

“I’m glad that’s in the past.”

At Joo Seung-ha’s mumble, the smile slowly faded from Seo Ahn-jae’s lips. He perched on the desk and stared steadily at Joo Seung-ha. Unlike his usually indifferent gaze, this was different. For some reason, Joo Seung-ha felt like he might lean in and kiss him right there. It must be his imagination. It had to be. Joo Seung-ha met the other man’s gaze without flinching and spoke.

“But you’re still the same as before, senior.”

“You think so?”

Yes, Joo Seung-ha nodded.

“You still won’t do what I want, now just like before.”

“The same goes for you.”

Ah, is that so? JooSeung-ha swallowed his laugh and turned his eyes away. So everything he did seven years ago was all against what the man in front of him wanted. That meant he was in no position to talk. This newly realized truth didn’t make him sad. He just felt a bit sorry for his past self.