IOTF Ch 17

The truck arrived at a place called Janghowon Bus Terminal. As soon as I got out of the Porter, I ran toward the ticket counter. I rushed into the lone building and asked for the earliest departing ticket.

“It’s a bus to Gwangju.”

“Jeolla Province?”

“No, Gwangju in Gyeonggi Province. This is Icheon in Gyeonggi Province, you know.”

My mind was blank. I couldn’t even say anything. It didn’t matter anyway.

After buying the ticket, I looked around. Sweat poured down like rain in the middle of winter. I started toward the restroom but stopped in a panic. Anything enclosed wouldn’t do. I zipped up my jacket and walked out to where the buses were parked. The open terminal was deserted. It was an empty expanse, with only four buses stationed there.

Gwangju.

I could hide there for a bit and then head to Seoul. I’d take a taxi and slip away somewhere, anywhere. I pulled out the phone Seonghyeon had activated for me. I disconnected it from the synced email account and boldly tossed it into a trash can. Just then, the driver announced the bus was leaving.

“Alright, we’re departing now.”

As I boarded, the door closed with a sound. I glanced back to check, but no one else got on. The moment the bus started moving, I let out a shaky breath and went to the back seat.

My whole body trembled, and my heart ached as if it were breaking apart. I lowered myself as much as possible to hide. The instant the bus left the terminal, I caught sight of Hyundai’s Porter truck that had brought me here. He hadn’t left, nor had he tried to stop me; he just stood there with the phone pressed to his ear.

I flattened myself down as if to erase all of it.

Sour snot dripped down, and I felt like a cornered animal.

I quietly stared at the dawn-tinted window and pulled out a cigarette to smoke.

Park, the doctor, who had been watching the smoke rise toward the ceiling of the VIP hospital room, rubbed tired eyes and administered the final injection.

“Sleep is the best thing for wound healing. You know that, right?”

“I know. So what.”

Even as I answered, I glared at the bright blue sign outside. Fucking hell. They should tear this hospital down and rebuild it. What kind of hospital has a sign that flashes so blindingly blue? I couldn’t understand it.

“If you’d like, I can prescribe a sleeping pill…”

“If you want your life to go downhill smoothly, Dr. Park, shut your mouth. I’m starting to feel like screwing you over.”

I inhaled the smoke deeply. The stench of my organs clung to the breath I exhaled, and it pissed me off. I reached out and picked up a crystal glass. As Park left, Han Doopil spoke up.

“Should I keep it playing?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s a bus heading to Bongsan-eup, Yuksan-ri. If you keep going this way, Musuwon Rest Stop comes up in about thirty-five minutes. I checked twice, and it’s empty.”

I turned my eyes to the large CRT screen filling one wall of the hospital room. The screen was split into eight sections, each showing tourist buses with different numbers.

“This fourth screen is the bus that came from Changwon. It was parked in the lot the longest. On the CCTV footage, it’s at the edge of the frame, so it only caught people getting off, not boarding. I’ve reviewed it several times around this bus, but there’s nothing.”

“Next.”

“Next? If we switch to the eighth screen…”

I twisted my head while holding the glass. Han Doopil quickly caught on, took his eyes off the screen, and spoke again.

“They’re making a list with the transportation company, so that’ll be caught soon. As for the USB, Baekil hyungnim is handling it himself, so I’ve stepped back for now. By now, he’s probably beaten him half to death. Should I call Baekil hyungnim to see what he’s up to? He’s not a stubborn guy, so he might’ve already spilled everything. Should I let the dogs loose to tear him apart?”

Doopil handed me the phone. On the video, a naked man hung from the ceiling, blood dripping upside down in streams.

“No matter how I look at it, there’s no chance he directly contacted Lee Soyoon. Somehow, it seems like Lee Soyoon ended up with it. It’s certain he breached security and accessed the hard drive to leak the videos and photos; he can’t deny that. We’re making sure the footage doesn’t spread anywhere else.”

The situation was fucked. I told them to bring Lee Soyoon’s stuff, and what came along just had to be that. It was footage of Soyoon and me screwing around in a room—fucking, sucking—and I was the one who ordered the camera set up and the recording made.

A forty-minute video, once at Queens and once in a newly opened club room in Namwol-dong. It was stored on Joo Finance’s hard drive, so there weren’t many who could’ve hacked in and leaked it.

“For the record, I didn’t watch a single one.”

“What would you do watching me fuck?”

“That’s what I’m saying. Baekil hyungnim might not know, though. That guy’s got a taste for screwing anything with tits…”

Then a knock sounded. It was Baekil.

“Want me to rip your ass open too, you little shit?”

“Sorry, hyungnim. I was just trying to lighten the boss’s mood a bit and said some nonsense.”

Baekil immediately pulled out his phone and played a video. A guy with half his face blown off, missing all his teeth, started confessing.

I listened with narrowed eyes. The ones who breached the hard drive were a group from Hajung-dong, Busan, called Shuffle. They’d done business with Boss Kim before. It wasn’t connected to the porn site channels run by the yakuza, and they weren’t in a position to get involved that deep, he confessed.

“He says Boss Kim ordered it, and a manager under him carried it out. The USB was slipped into clothes in a market bathroom. They planned to blackmail Lee Soyoon to get something out of him, but since Lee Soyoon kept his mouth shut and didn’t budge, they might’ve stormed a restaurant and caused this mess. Boss Kim has already left Korea, and judging by his dealings with the yakuza, it seems he’s gone to Japan.”

Fuck. I let out a hollow laugh. The market bathroom—that was the day we ate knife-cut noodles together and fucked at the barber shop.

“Boss Kim’s a fucking moron. He does shit this sloppily, so of course he loses buildings. Why’d he tangle with the yakuza and screw things up this bad? Is he on drugs these days?”

“Well, it’d be hard for him to stay sane. Even your third hyungnim, who he trusted, cut ties, and his lover sold key documents for a quick buck and ran off. So he’s lashing out at random people, making this mess. Assemblymen Jang Taeseok and Kim Chilseok are stepping down this time too.”

“Boss Kim’s been wasting money all this time.”

Jang Taeseok and Kim Chilseok were assemblymen Boss Kim had backed with cash from primaries to elections. He sold off land to build their voter base, but rather than side with him, they chose to step down, so he must’ve been cornered.

“But he shouldn’t mess with our Sunjung.”

In the video, the bloodied guy collapsed with a thud. Since this one spilled everything, they’d bring in the Hajung-dong Shuffle guy for confirmation and finish off Boss Kim.

Hiyoshi, the boss of Common Production, whom we’d recently connected with, was a reasonable guy and loved this deal. The Chinese investors were happy to secure high-quality films and paid hefty fees, so Boss Kim would be dealt with in Japan.

“And Soyoon couldn’t have gotten far.”

I know, but the words didn’t come out. Looking back, there were plenty of times Lee Soyoon tried to escape. From the moment he rejected the contract, he’d planned to leave Yeonsan; he had no reason to stay. Even when I shoved him into a hotel room with the yakuza, or when he asked me to apologize, seeing my ruthless, conscienceless behavior, Lee Soyoon must’ve decided to run.

To him, it wasn’t fleeing—it was escaping.

Because I was the one locking him in a cage, piercing holes in his wings.

So when the chance came, he’d hopped on that bus without hesitation and was now hiding somewhere, starting a new life.

A new life.

Even if he started anew, could it really be “new”? A guy who’d tasted the game, who knew the flavor of money—could he live simply? That’d just be a rebellious detour for Lee Soyoon. So I’d give him another choice.

“Soyoon’s definitely weighing new options, right?”

The two didn’t answer. Then it happened. Lee Soyoon’s phone pinged. Three pairs of eyes turned at once. Touching the screen, one of the new emails showed as read.

Lee Soyoon’s phone was activated coming down to Yeonsan and had no other numbers. Aside from Lee Jaehoon and some clients he’d met here, there was nothing. No new messages, nothing notable except the email account he’d first synced.

But it unlocked. Lee Soyoon had gone into his inbox and clicked to read it. I finally grinned.

“Track it.”

Baekil darted out first. The dark hospital room lit up. The techs sent to Seoul were still lying low with no leads. The ones in Daejeon and Chuncheon hadn’t found anything either, but now Lee Soyoon had moved himself.

Han Doopil reported soon after.

“It’s Icheon.”

I nodded. One eyebrow arched.

“We’ll head out right away.”

It was the sixth night since Lee Soyoon disappeared.

The car left Icheon and sped toward the outskirts. There was nothing to see but fields and paddies. No tall buildings or skyscrapers—should’ve been calming, but the longer it went, the more anxious I got. I checked behind the bus and bit my nails.

My head needed to stay cool, but it wouldn’t. I wanted to burst into tears, then took deep breaths to steady myself. I had to plan where to go once I reached this new place, but realizing I didn’t even know where it was made me want to cry again.

I’d meant to go to her, but it felt like that path was blocked, burning my chest. Not knowing what to do or how to survive made me choke up again.

Still, I didn’t think the boss would catch me. And why should he? I hadn’t done anything wrong. It all started with his coercion—I never promised to stay by his side. I never intended to stick around long, so where I went was my choice, my freedom.

Then the bus slowly turned right. Buildings and factories came into view, followed by an apartment complex. Seeing a familiar urban setting eased my fear a little. The terror of being devoured faded, and I pictured myself clawing my way back to life in this city jungle.

I stopped trembling. Taking in famous franchises and imported car showrooms, I straightened my back. The bus was about to reach the stop, they said.

I pulled a hat from my bag. I retied my shoelaces and checked the wallet in my pocket. As soon as I got off, I’d take a taxi and move elsewhere. Short, frequent switches to leave this place and dive into the busiest spot possible. If I found work there and hid again, they’d have a hard time tracking me.

The bus entered a main terminal. Unlike Yeonsan, this one wasn’t shabby and, thankfully, was crowded.

“You can get off now.”

With the driver’s words, the door hissed open. I leapt toward it, slipping through the crowd to the exit and checking for the elevator. I turned toward the subway passage a few steps ahead when—

Something thumped in front of me.

I tried to move past it, but something entered my vision.

“Hi?”

A bear doll with a floral ribbon—I’d seen it before. It was the one by the mailbox at the driver’s house in Icheon, now swaying in front of me like it was alive.

“Where’s our Soyoon going?”

My heart sank with a thud. Fear swallowed me, and I couldn’t dare look up.

“Take it. It’s a gift.”

“…”

“You said you wanted it.”

A sharp blow hit the back of my head. As my blood drained, something I’d said came back.

“It’ll be Christmas soon.”

“Our first Christmas together. What should we do?”

“Let’s eat cake.”

“Gift?”

A teddy bear.

My vision flashed. It was like the sun stabbed into my pupils—I couldn’t see. I shook my head and stepped back. The more I did, the clearer the boss’s face became. A flashy shirt, a sly smile, fierce, inhuman eyes stretching upward, and below them, gem-like pupils still relentless.

“What, you don’t like it?”

“…”

“I turned department stores upside down to get this. Bears with floral ribbons are rare, you know. As you know, I like flowers, floral patterns—like our Sunjung.”

The boss was smiling at me. As if he’d known I’d come here, he stood right in front of me.

I pulled the wallet from my pocket and threw it on the ground. I hoped his eyes would follow it, but no luck.

“Sunjung, calm down…”

“No! Get lost!”

I shoved him and ran. I plunged into the crowd. Tourists with luggage screamed in panic. I deliberately caused a commotion to escape. I wanted to look back but didn’t dare.

My breath burst, my heart pounding like I’d die. I darted through the terminal, shoving through people. I kicked a trash can, hoping security would grab me. Soon, guards with guns at their waists started calling out. I pushed past someone and frantically ran down the escalator like a madman.

I have to live.

I didn’t do anything wrong.

I don’t want to be caught.

I hate that bastard so much!!

Then my foot twisted. I tumbled down the escalator. Screams erupted, and a sharp pain hit my head. With a thump, my vision turned red. Beyond the terminal ceiling, a man slowly appeared, looking down at me. Upside down, I locked eyes with the boss. Whistles and screams mixed as he smiled.

The man said, “You’re always fun.”

When I woke up, astonishingly, I was lying in a familiar room. Not on a plain desk or bed, but on a blanket spread on the floor.

The blanket smelled familiar. Opening my eyes, I saw a large man. He was holding something, making a clinking sound.

“You’re awake?”

I turned my eyes, but strangely, one side wouldn’t see. I tried to touch the blind eye and realized what the clinking was.

“It’s okay. Your eye’s torn, so we patched it up. Still, Sunjung almost got into big trouble.”

“…”

“If your eyeball got hurt, what would’ve happened? It’s heartbreaking enough that your pretty face got scratched—going blind would’ve been too sad. Not like I gouged it out myself.”

The chills were so bad my whole body shook. In the boss’s hand was a knife, the same design as the tattoo on his chest. He held the blade, not the handle, making threatening clacks.

“Wanna get up?”

I shook my head. But he laughed and yanked my body toward him.

“Sunjung, why’d you run?”

“…”

“I wasn’t even gonna say anything, so why’d you do it?”

Tears streamed down. Even the bandaged spot got wet, soaking through.

“Why’re you crying? Happy to see me?”

“Did you miss me? You could’ve called. I got a little banged up that day too. If it weren’t for the hole in my gut, I’d have come looking myself, but it was deep, so I sent the boys. Techs to Seoul, Chuncheon, Daejeon. Busan’s covered by our guys. Changwon too, and Gwangju and Jeonju. I was about to scour Icheon, but you signaled first, so I came myself.”

Not a word sank in. Unable to hold back the rising emotions, I shook my head.

“Why, why’re you after me?”

The bandage, soaked through, fell off with a plop, and he filled my vision. His face, looking down from above, was closer than the last one I saw before passing out.

“Because you’re Sunjung.”

No. That’s not an answer. It shouldn’t be, and even knowing that, he was calling me by another name.

“Since Sunjung disappeared, I had to come find you.”

That’s not it either. He didn’t come to find me—he came to catch me. Not to take me back, but to lock me up in that hotel room again!

“The, the wallet, I didn’t spend a dime…”

“Oh, so that’s why you were running around?”

He bared his teeth and laughed. Like he’d heard something genuinely funny, he laughed while holding the knife, and the chills were so bad I felt like dying right then.

“I gave you that money to spend. Did you think I’d care if you took my wallet?”

I didn’t want this. I hated how he pretended not to know when he knew everything. I couldn’t overcome the contempt rising deep in my chest.

“…I ran away.”

“Sunjung.”

“You know that, so why’re you doing this!!”

Why catch me when I ran, whether you live or die? And why am I Sunjung! I’m Lee Soyoon! I hate messing with guys, I don’t deal with thugs! You’ve got no reason or right to come after me—you’re a stranger! The money in your wallet was my payment!! I have the right to say I hate you and leave!!

I don’t need your damn payment, and I’m sick of that backwater Yeonsan!! Your third-rate trash personality goes without saying, and that tacky, filthy Queens disgusts me! That’s why I ran, so why find me! What right do you have!

I wanted to jump up in a frenzy. Realizing this was the auntie and uncle’s house, who’d taken care of me, twisted my guts even more. My eyes rolled back as I leapt up. In the distance, the jacket the auntie bought me and my sports bag lay fallen, and the phone Kim Seonghyeon got me sat blatantly on the floor.

Seeing that phone snapped my reason. I couldn’t understand what he was showing me. It wasn’t love or obsession—it felt like some mad frenzy, but I didn’t know what. I hated him and didn’t want to be with him anymore.

My eyes turned bloodshot. I lunged at him, trying to snatch the knife. Blood sprayed in the struggle.

“Sunjung, that’s dangerous.”

“No! Get lost!”

At my wild movements, he raised a fist. But he couldn’t hit me. Instead, his shirt buttons popped open, revealing a bandaged stomach. Seeing the stab wound, I aimed only for that and charged.

“Fuck!! Just go away!”

I rammed with my head, waiting for red blood to bead through the white bandage. I hit the wound with my hands and kicked mercilessly. But he didn’t budge. Even as I targeted his injury, he just turned his head side to side, halfheartedly blocking my fists.

Then Han Doopil burst in, shouting.

“Hey! What the hell’s going on! Lee Soyoon! You gone nuts trying to die!”

“Aaaaaah!”

“Boss, how’re you gonna handle the kid acting like this?”

Before Han Doopil finished, I charged again. I headbutted him and finally wrested the knife from his hand. Blood flowed from scratches, dripping from his hand too.

“Go ahead. Do it.”

I gripped the knife, panting.

“If you’re mad enough to kill, stab me. Come on, do it.”

He thrust his neck toward me like he really meant it. As I heaved and pushed the knife closer, he tapped his neck.

“Lee Soyoon, stab until you’re satisfied.”

Blood seeped from his stomach where I’d rammed him. Seeing it made my fingers weaken, but I had to do it now or never.

“But Sunjung, I didn’t know. I really didn’t know you saw that video. If you had, you could’ve told me.”

“…”

“I can’t apologize, but I can explain.”

Gibberish I couldn’t grasp. Yet he kept spouting it.

“I did order it recorded, yeah. But it wasn’t to tie you down. Did you think I’d keep that one video as insurance? It’s not like I’d watch it with anyone—I just had it filmed for myself.”

I couldn’t understand a word. Video? Insurance?

“I know how shocked you must’ve been seeing it. I get it. But Sunjung, to run off over that…”

“Shut up with the bullshit! What the hell are you saying!”

He clammed up. Panting, I glared between them, and he narrowed his eyes.

“Sunjung, you don’t know?”

“Know what! Fuck!”

“The video. You don’t know?”

“I said I don’t!!”

He tilted his head. Staring at me, he smirked.

“Hmm, so you didn’t see it.”

“Didn’t see what! What is it!”

I swung the knife hard once. But he didn’t flinch. Even as it grazed his neck, he looked up like it didn’t matter.

“Sunjung, answer carefully this time. If you didn’t run because of the video, this gets really fucked.”

The shift in tone spiked my unease. Now he pushed the knife aside with his hand like it annoyed him.

“The USB. Did you hide it in the wardrobe?”

“USB?”

“The one in the wardrobe of the hotel room we stayed in. Did you hide it?”

The word USB jogged my memory. That tiny thing—after seeing the guy in the slip, I’d forgotten it entirely.

“I didn’t hide it.”

“Then? You left it out in plain sight, and I just didn’t notice?”

“Yeah! You didn’t even glance at it for days!!”

“Oh, so you told me about the USB, but I was too dumb to see it?”

“You came in reeking of weed and were too busy!”

“Right, that happened. Fair.”

“No sidetracking—what video! What the hell are you talking about!”

I swung the knife again, shouting. He sighed and rolled his eyes upward.

“So this got complicated.”

“…”

“You just ran like hell because I’m a bastard, but I naively misinterpreted it. Not because you were pissed about a sex tape you saw that Boss Kim’s side snatched—it’s because you genuinely hate me. Fuck, I came all this way worrying about you without knowing that? Like some damn gentleman.”

I still couldn’t follow him. My eyes shook, breath quickening. When he snapped his fingers with a click, his cold voice crashed down.

“You filthy bitch.”

“…!!”

“This fucking slut.”

I froze, stunned. I’d threatened him with a knife, but now I was trembling.

“Fearlessly sleeping and eating side by side with another bastard in the same house wasn’t enough—you toyed with me?”

He snarled viciously, twisting his head. Eyes that could tear me apart—that’s what they were.

“How you gonna pay me back now? Too pathetic to take a deal, nothing to beg forgiveness with—what’ll you do? Huh?”

“…”

“You’ve got to compensate me for screwing with me, cover the cost of sending my boys out, and pay for me coming here myself. That’s about four hundred million, but you don’t have money.”

Four hundred million widened my eyes.

“That shitty video I filmed? It’s decent quality, but I shot it for my own viewing, so it won’t cut it. Clients only pay for guaranteed quality films.”

“Shitty… video?”

“Yeah. You and me fucking. I recorded it.”

Something slammed into the back of my head. Then it all clicked. The USB had a video of me and him having sex, and he’d ordered it filmed.

He thought I ran because I saw it and got mad, but now he realized that wasn’t it. Finding out I fled because I hated him seemed to spark some betrayal, and now he was suddenly turning me into a debtor.

“Ripping out your guts to sell would waste your shell, so sell your body. You know the drill from screwing me—fisting, squirting, whatever works.”

I shook my head. It didn’t make sense. I was the victim, yet I couldn’t say a word. My ears rang, the ground shook, and I couldn’t think. Why’d he film it, under whose permission? No, why didn’t I notice, and why did he…

“Thought it was weird when you freaked out after messing with that punk. Turns out you knew you’d end up like him and flipped out.”

He approached with a murderous look.

“Should I do it to you too?”

Then he grabbed my hair.

“Yeah, I should. Lee Soyoon’s gotta sell his body to pay me back.”

“…Ugh…”

“You’re prettier and worth more than that punk—you’ll earn fast. I’ll fuck your ass better than he ever got. If you’re getting filmed, might as well look good, right?”

He shook me by the hair. I felt nothing. I was the one screaming I’d kill him, but I was the one dying.

“Take it like a dog. Learn this is the price for ditching my Sunjung.”

He concluded without a chance to argue. No leeway—he was telling me I’d end up like that slip-wearing guy.

“No, no! This isn’t right!”

“What’s not right? You act like a slut and think saying ‘no’ fixes it?”

“No!!”

I swung the knife, refusing. But he sneered. That mocking laugh painted what I’d face. He wasn’t sane—he was insane, and if he decided, I’d become a rag like that guy. Strung up, bloodied, rectum torn, pelvis useless. My genitals and balls would melt under torture, malformed, and I’d break down and die.

Imagining being raped by men choked me with misery. Why did I have to suffer this? I wanted to stab him, but I knew too well what that end meant.

I’d rather die. I didn’t know how to escape here. I was weak; he was an unbreachable fortress.

So I swung the knife at his slithering snake eyes, then stopped. My shaking hand stilled—I didn’t want to fear anymore.

Tears burst with a plop. I turned the blade. Loosening my grip, I aimed it at myself. His snake eyes hardened. I looked straight at him. No resolve—just as our eyes met, I thrust it into my stomach. A squelch, and his eyes widened.

“Fuck!!”

I stared at his crumpling face, driving it deeper. Unbearable pain and fear surged briefly, then the solid blade lodged in my gut.

No scream came. Han Doopil rushed over, pressing my hand to stop me pulling it out. The boss, losing strength, pulled me into his arms.

“Fuck!! Lee Soyoon!!”

As he shouted my name, a crack sounded in my stomach. Han Doopil yelled something loud, and footsteps thundered up the stairs. Joo Geonwoo, holding me, let out a hot breath between his lips.

It hurts. My memory was fading.

After Grandma died, I lived in a cold, hollow room. Even in autumn, my breath showed. I slept on the bare floor without a blanket, didn’t drink a sip of water. Someone knocked, but that stopped soon enough.

I don’t know how long I lived like that. When the thought of starving to death hit me, I was already wandering the night streets, nodding to anyone who spoke, following them. Sometimes a middle-aged man, sometimes girls my age I drank with. At night, hating the empty room, I hung out with women whose numbers I’d taken.

Grief got buried somewhere, despair long forgotten. Grandma’s absence woke my innate nature, and I lived like my deadbeat dad, a perfect copy.

I couldn’t shake off my innate bloodline and ended up becoming exactly that. There’s no point in cursing Madam Jung. In the end, it was all my choice, a world I crawled into on my own. Even if I regretted it, I’d still choose that night world again, just like back then, and I’d be the bastard who sold the house I lived in with Grandma.

As I slowly opened my eyes, pain flooded in. It was an unfamiliar, unbearable agony. It was on a completely different level from when the yakuza beat me.

“Looks like you’re awake?”

At that moment, a cracked voice came with the smell of tar.

“It’ll be hard to move. They stitched up your organs, so you can’t let them get messed up.”

The word “organs” brought back what I’d done. Getting on the bus, running around the terminal, getting caught by the boss, and collapsing…

“How does it feel to stab your own gut?”

“…”

“Who’d have thought you’d do something even I haven’t tried?”

He slid into my field of vision. The boss, dressed in a hospital gown with a cigarette in his mouth, said nothing. He looked down at me with long, slitted eyes, deeply inhaling and exhaling the smoke.

Watching the rising smoke, I moved my lips. But they wouldn’t part, stuck together.

“…”

“…”

Silence stretched on. As the smoke curled upward, his expression grew darker and colder. Even through the pain, the sharpness felt vivid. There was a stillness like deep water too. Hiding his thoughts by staying silent, he wasn’t acting like the boss I knew. He should’ve been tearing into me, stirring things up as he pleased, but by not carelessly throwing words, he was making me aware of what I’d done.

How dare you try to die in front of me?

Then the door opened, and a woman’s voice came through. In a calm, businesslike tone, she said, “It’s time to change the bandages.” Only then did I dredge up a tangled memory.

The boss who came to catch me was injured. I’d noticed that and couldn’t control my feral rage. I’d rammed my head into the white bandage showing through his shirt, thrust a knife at him, and made it bleed red. So that wound must’ve been my doing.

“Please come to this bed.”

“What about him?”

“We need to start with patient Joo Geonwoo. You know that.”

I couldn’t join their conversation. Unable to even move my lips, the boss stepped away, and the cigarette smoke faded. Moments later, the woman recited his condition in a dutiful tone.

The boss’s surgical site had torn badly, and they’d worked to reconnect the ripped organs, but it didn’t look good. He kept drinking and smoking relentlessly, showing no care for his body. The wound wouldn’t heal properly, and despite excessive bleeding once already, he’d let it bleed again, leaving him vulnerable to infection. Still, he didn’t seem to listen. The woman left, and a male doctor came in, seemingly checking the wound again.

The male doctor came to me and said I wouldn’t be able to move for a week. The spot I’d stabbed was dangerously close to vital organs, and they’d struggled to piece them back together.

With my eyes closed, I felt the IV drip. Honestly, I’d stabbed my gut, but I couldn’t recall why. The boss’s face—Joo Geonwoo—looked like a beast, and I think I’d thought dying was better than being taken by that beast, but it was all blurry, like ink dissolved in water.

No… I’d actually been cornered long before. From the moment I realized Park Joon screwed me over, or maybe even earlier, from when I was a kid hearing I was the son of a filthy dad, I might’ve been wishing to die and be reborn. Meeting the boss just blew it up like snow piling high until I finally snapped.

Lee Soyoon, who’d endured a weariness of life, was fated to die like that, but he stopped me.

At that thought, tears suddenly streamed down. The boss watched me without moving.

His anger was terrifyingly quiet.

It was a feverish time. Not much different from when the yakuza beat me. Opening my eyes through the drug haze, I saw the boss, bandaged, looking at me.

Joo Geonwoo closely observed me coming back to life. As if he couldn’t allow my breath to stop, he made it known with his eyes, his body, his smell, his breath.

Before I could even feel the misery of surviving when I couldn’t die, I writhed in pain. The agony of a sliced gut was brutal, and the heat from my organs knitting together couldn’t be quelled by painkillers. I gritted my teeth and endured. The boss stubbornly kept watching me.

Then one day, I screamed.

“Fuck! Let me die!”

“You should’ve died before coming to me.”

“Please! Don’t keep me alive!”

“No. You can’t die without my permission.”

Through the madness of pain, I glared at his smug face. Staring at the bastard who didn’t kill me but made me hurt myself, that shameless face spoke.

“You’ve got to pay me back.”

Money. Right, money. Gotta pay the money. That debt he suddenly dumped on me was still there. If I couldn’t go back to before I knew him, if I couldn’t even die as I pleased, then I’d live and pay him back no matter what.

Only then did I feel a purpose to live. It infuriated me that the purpose was this beast, but if this was rock bottom, I’d see it as a chance to climb up.

With purpose, I desperately wanted to live. Stabbing my gut felt meaningless—I grew obsessed with survival.

I kept glaring at him. The boss didn’t laugh at me anymore. He stopped swaggering, and when I started staring him down, he silently turned away, then dragged a chair over and locked eyes with me for a long time.

At night, he returned to his bed. We were in the same VIP room. At dawn, I’d hear slippers shuffle or crystal glasses clink. I hadn’t known, but he exercised every morning for rehab.

When he came back, he always smelled of flowers, like a signal he was returning to his usual life, and it pissed me off.

I always narrowed my eyes at him. He didn’t seem to mind my attitude, eating with me from a tray. Hospital food tasted like shit. Still, I chewed thoroughly and scraped down bone broth, probably sent by his mom.

Even so, my flesh rebuilt slowly. Unlike my will, my condition didn’t improve. In that sense, the boss was truly a monster, a beast. Despite excessive bleeding and two surgeries that should’ve kept him down, he kept recovering. Morning rehab turned into full stamina restoration, and he’d come and go from the room, his lively voice grating on me.

He started laughing again. Chuckling, swaggering in front of me, calling me “Sunjung, Sunjung,” scraping at my nerves.

Even now, with the tray between us, I nearly threw the spoon at his smirking face. He placed a piece of tteokgalbi on my tray and said,

“You can eat this.”

I glared as hard as I could.

“It’s tastier if you sneak it.”

I wasn’t supposed to eat anything but porridge yet. Unlike him, I could only have drinks and some veggies. Offering me tteokgalbi with its vivid meat texture felt like he was determined to talk.

“Take it back.”

I was about to flick it off the spoon when—

“You’d throw away what I gave you?”

A big hand slammed down beside the tray. The tattooed back of it didn’t budge, asserting itself.

Go ahead, try it.

“…Ignorant…”

At my muttered curse, he burst out laughing. His gaunt jawline shook fiercely, and unbearable humiliation surged up.

“Sunjung, you gotta eat well.”

“…”

“So you can get out and pay off your debt. How long you gonna linger, sipping porridge?”

His chuckling face overlapped with the one that grabbed my hair. Those beastly eyes, that snake-like gaze that cornered me.

“I don’t get why I have to pay.”

“Why not? You deceived me. Acted like you’d live quietly by my side, then ran. Should I just let that slide? If you toyed with someone’s sincerity, you pay for it. You take money for sucking off other bitches too.”

“So… I’m the one who gave it… why do I have to pay!”

I slammed the spoon down. At the same time, the big hand beside the tray grabbed my chin and said,

“Look, Lee Soyoon.”

“…Ugh!”

“The time I pampered you is over.”

My body trembled. His brute strength gripped my jaw like he’d crush it.

“I’m not desperate enough to take back a bitch who ditched me, and playing nice with your pretty face ended back then.”

The hand dropped with a thud. Undigested porridge and pooled spit dripped from my lips, and he scowled. Staring at what fell from my mouth, he muttered, “Fuck.” Wasn’t he the one eagerly sucking it up before, and now it’s trash? Then the door opened, and Kalbang came in.

Kalbang glanced between us and handed the boss a phone. Looking at the screen, he curled one side of his lips.

“You might owe me more than four hundred million.”

He showed me the screen. It was the phone I’d ditched at the terminal, registered under Kim Seonghyeon’s name.

“He was using burner phones to set up shadow accounts and groom speculators? Funding stock manipulation and leeching off others’ money. Sunjung, you almost got caught up.”

I didn’t get it. Who was doing what?

“Know what they do with that money? Back gambling sites. Reinvest the profits into stocks, repeatedly scraping victims. They let you profit a few times, then wipe you out so you can’t recover. Everything’s already gone, so no loans can come up in your name. They target sloppy twenty-somethings like you.”

My head buzzed. Even hearing it, I couldn’t process it and swallowed dryly. He showed me another video.

“Kim Seonghyeon. This bastard got leeched onto in the army by a bad senior, but I don’t know why he reached for you too.”

My heart sank. The video played, showing Kim Seonghyeon, beaten to a pulp, collapsed outside Hyundai Supermarket.

“Or did you, Sunjung, try to scam him and almost take the fall instead?”

Fuck… I cursed under my breath.

“Simple country boys doing every dirty deed. You’d know, having worked as a host. Moms reeking of formula secretly love to fuck.”

He set the phone on the table and crossed his legs. Speechless, I watched Kim Seonghyeon kneel and spit blood in the video.

Simple, someone I thought would fall for me. A different kind of guy, I’d thought…

“I told you before. You need to relearn what a valuable life is. No matter how soft-hearted you are, you can’t just eat anything.”

“…”

“You love money but don’t know the people rolling it, so you end up like this. Running from me to hide in some woman’s arms.”

I couldn’t deny it. He knew everything, was seasoned, and sized up situations fast. He read my mind clear as day and warned he’d keep doing it.

Yeah, I’d failed completely. A total idiot, a loser. He didn’t subdue me—I’d crawled between his legs myself.

I couldn’t hold it in and puked on the floor, gagging. I expected more sarcasm, but he was silent. Kalbang had left long ago, and the boss just watched me with a blank face.

“Don’t you find yourself pathetic?”

His voice sent chills down my spine.

“You still don’t know what you’ve done.”

“…”

“You think you’re always right, that leaving me would start everything anew, but Sunjung.”

I slowly turned to look at him. His face looked too mature, and he said,

“No matter how much you hate me, there’s no way you can beat me.”

“…”

“You’re just a dog I dragged in. Look.”

He lifted his torso. A gap wide enough to crawl through opened between his legs, like he was daring me to stick my head in and climb up.

“I told you. You’re not going to Seoul.”

A big hand lightly slapped my cheek. My head turned, and he stood up.

A sour smell rose from the floor as he opened the door and left the room. My newfound life goal twisted oddly, and I hung my head like a dog.

He didn’t show up for days after that. Fully recovered, he must’ve been discharged. Meanwhile, my condition improved too. The full-body pain faded, and rehab let me walk naturally.

I avoided looking at the scar on my gut and changed clothes. Leaving the physical therapy room, Jang Wooseong was waiting, head bowed.

“Don’t greet me like that anymore.”

“How can you say that? Where’s the boss going?”

Jang Wooseong’s face looked more worn than before. Wondering if he’d been dragged into finding me, he hesitated and spoke.

“But, don’t do that anymore.”

“…”

“It looks real bad.”

What did he mean? Running away? Being dragged like a dog before the boss? Or stabbing my gut and ending up like this? What’s the point of nitpicking—it all applied.

I met the attending doctor for my final bandage change. Jang Wooseong followed me everywhere, pressing buttons, fetching prescriptions, running around for me. Back in the room, I felt the boss’s presence. It was exactly the fourth day.

Flipping through a magazine I’d been reading, he didn’t even look up but criticized my outfit.

“Why not ditch that jacket?”

It was one I’d asked someone to buy at the market in Icheon. Unlike what he’d bought me, he scowled at the cheap, tacky thing.

“Didn’t you come to say something?”

At my words, he looked up and tossed the magazine far away.

“Right. I’ve got something to say. And something to hear.”

Of course. I’d braced myself and answered right away.

“Which first? Want to hear me out? Or you go first?”

Pleased with my response, he came closer. Walking to the center of the big VIP room we’d shared, a sharp mint scent wafted over.

“You first.”

He stood tall on long legs, daring me to try. His eyes and face looking down were arrogant. Unable to shed his taste, he wore a flashy shirt even in winter, topped with a black jacket and long coat.

Yeah, that day too, he’d worn a long coat. Said we’d match as a couple. A deep brown coat, hair swept back, spraying cologne.

“Show me the video.”

One of his eyebrows twitched slightly.

“I need to see what you filmed with my own eyes.”

He didn’t speak for a moment. I didn’t expect him to agree, but I didn’t think he’d stare this long either.

“What changes if you see it?”

“I’ll check how well it’s shot and settle the debt.”

Four hundred million. If he really meant to collect, I had no choice but to pay. And to clear it fast, I’d need the quickest means.

“How you gonna settle it?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I want to see the video first and decide.”

He fell silent again. With one hand in his pocket, his long coat trailing, he asked,

“Decide what?”

“How well it’s shot. How much it’d sell for. If my face and body are clear enough on screen to gauge the market value…”

His expression hardened in real-time. But I wasn’t backing down anymore. Funnily, stabbing my gut that day pushed out my fear of him too, and even if it meant dying, I wouldn’t tangle with him again.

“…Whether to shoot AV or go back to hosting. But first, I’ll calculate it right…”

He glared like he’d kill me. His bloodshot eyes looked ready to strike any second.

“I’ll pay it all off. Not a penny short, so I can leave your side as soon as possible—!!”

A big hand clamped under my neck. With immense force, it covered my mouth and twisted my throat.

“Say that again. What? Calculate it right? Check the market and sell yourself?”

“Guhhh!”

“Is that what you’ve got to say right now?”

I couldn’t breathe, but his eyes looked ready to burst. Baring his teeth like he’d swallow me, I couldn’t beg for life.

“This fucking bitch. Till the end.”

He dragged me by the neck to the hospital bed. My slippers fell off, and the jacket over my gown tore violently.

“Even if I try to treat a pretty-born bastard nicely, you don’t get it and pull this. When I turned the country upside down to find you, huh? Sell yourself?”

“Guh…!”

“Don’t you know what you really should be saying?!”

A bang flipped the room. The heart monitor detached instantly, and he threw me onto the bed.

“I spelled it out, and you still don’t get it?”

Still pressing my neck, I couldn’t breathe. Spit burst, eyes rolling. I’d thought fear was gone, but I was helpless against his relentless violence again.

“…D-don’t…”

His brute force yanked my legs apart. Panicking, I shoved him desperately.

“Don’t!! Fuck!!”

“You said you’d sell yourself. Gotta audition. Don’t you know actresses fuck the boss first?”

Unbelievable. The strength forcing my legs open was beyond imagination. The fight in Icheon wasn’t a fight—just my one-sided tantrum. He hadn’t used even one percent of his power.

“You told me to sell!! You said it!!”

He flipped me over. My face hit the sheets, and he roughly yanked down my briefs.

“Called me a pimp!! You shouted that at me!! Why!! Why’re you doing this!!”

I clenched my fists and screamed. Pain surged from my stitched gut as his crude dick kept jabbing at my entrance.

“You started it… You…”

Tears burst, shaking my whole body. My pinned body flipped, and through blurry vision, I saw him. His eyes, glaring like he’d kill me, blazed red like wildfire.

“I said no from the start… But… you… you, boss, you did whatever you wanted… why do this to me… what did I do wrong…”

I babbled and sobbed, not knowing what I was saying. Hot lumps burned my throat. But unlike my ragged breaths, he was calm.

“Asking again. What should you be saying?”

I faced him with trembling eyes. Fear and emotions surged, but I wouldn’t yield.

“I’ve got nothing to say.”

“…”

“Because I didn’t do anything wrong.”

A tear dropped. He lowered his head with a thud. On top of me, he stayed still for seconds. When he looked up, Joo Geonwoo wasn’t looking at me anymore.

“Baekil.”

At his call, the door opened.

“Dunk this bastard.”

The big, thick body got off me. As he left, the ceiling came into view. Even knowing “dunk” meant death, I wasn’t scared.

Footsteps left the room, and silence settled soon after.

Baekil and the boss were both gone.

The dark room lit up, and I felt human presence. How much time had passed? Kalbang dropped something on the floor with a thud and said,

“He said to give it to you.”

It was my bag, marked with black stains.

“Why this…”

“To throw away.”

I looked up, confused.

“He’s throwing you away.”

“…He said dunk…”

“That’s throwing away.”

Oh, that’s what it meant. Not killing, but discarding, so I wasn’t scared.

“You should’ve chosen to live like a dog.”

“…”

“You know how big that is, right?”

Not just any dog, but a pampered flower pup… maybe? But that’s where Kalbang stopped. He left the room, and I picked up the bag with cigarette burn marks. Unzipping it, my stuff was all there.

Phone, cash clutch, wallet with ID and cards, bankbook, my cologne, charger… Then the door opened again. This time, Han Doopil. He came in with a loan bag under his arm, scowling.

“What the hell you doing lying there? Get up.”

Ignoring the torn clothes the boss left, Han Doopil got to the point.

“‘Moment’ is the new hostess bar you’re going to.”

I blinked, not understanding.

“It’s our boss’s place too. Starting tomorrow, Sunjung, you clock in there. Here’s the contract. Since you’re desperate to clear your debt, no leniency. Interest is three hundred a month, repayment’s three years including principal. That means pay off four hundred million in three years, got it? No skipping, and we don’t provide lodging, so figure it out.”

He handed me the contract. Stunned from the onslaught, I couldn’t take it.

“There’s another way. Common Production, a porn company we took over, is releasing films exclusively on Red Apple next year. If you’re in, I’ll connect you. Red Apple’s a four-six deal, so negotiate the advance with them.”

“…”

“It’s a Japanese company, so they say you need some Japanese. You speak it?”

“…”

“If not, find another porn gig or whatever. Interest’s due the fifteenth each month. Paying principal with it doesn’t discount. Got it?”

He pulled an ink pad from the loan bag. So throwing me away included this too. I looked up.

“…This money’s really to catch me…”

“Yeah. Chasing you cost a fortune. Those tech guys are pricey as hell. A walking money pile, and the boss moved himself—thought you’d eat for free?”

My head cooled. I let out a dry laugh. Sniffling, reality hit harder. Yeah, I knew “throwing away” didn’t mean the money too.

“The video?”

“Oh, that? Pay off principal and interest, and he’ll delete it.”

“…”

“Talk to the boss about that. Hurry and stamp it. I’m busy. Think you’re the only mess I’ve got?”

I took the ink pad from his urging hands. Opened it, pressed my finger. The paper left my hand, and he gave me one of the two sheets.

“It’s rougher than most hostess bars, so good luck. I’ll text the address. Make lots of money.”

He folded my stamped contract and stuffed it in the loan bag. Zipping it halfway, he glanced at me.

“I’ve got no feelings for you.”

Obviously. No reason they would. I was just some guy who clung to the boss.

“See you often.”

Han Doopil, who used to be polite, would now hound me for debt. Late payments would bring nagging, and he’d snatch my tips.

No spare cash, not even for a studio. I’d live off tips and pay the principal.

My head spun. I pulled the phone from the bag. Turning it on, the familiar screen lit up. Unlocking it, I checked missed calls and texts—all from Jaehoon hyung.

Not a single message or call from the female clients I’d casually texted.

Stunned, I had no energy to be mad. Limp, I stared at the black marks on the bag.

Everything was hell—nothing left to ruin.