BIA Ch. 112

“Anyway, that’s what I wanted to say. Put me to better use.”

Bran furrowed his brow, a cigarette held in his mouth. His expression seemed to ask, Did I hear that right? It was an unexpected reaction. Flustered, Isaiah started rambling.

“Think about it. We finally became—well, lovers, didn’t we? And I… I can do anything for you. I have the ability to. This isn’t arrogance. You admitted it yourself. So, what I’m trying to say is—”

“Okay, I get it.”

Bran gave a short nod.

“When you feel like that, just say you want to help me.”

“Ah, yeah, that’s it.”

As Isaiah nodded, admitting he’d been momentarily confused, Bran reached a hand toward his backside and joked.

“Of course, I can make use of this.”

“Hey, you’ve already used that plenty.”

Any more and it’ll get raw. Isaiah grabbed Bran’s wrist and put it back in place as he spoke.

“What I meant was, things seem like they might get a little complicated at the church on Friday, so I wanted to be as helpful to you as possible.”

“We already agreed on that.”

Bran said, moving the incense holder from the head of the bed onto the side drawer.

“You promised to blow Chester’s head off with those amazing shooting skills of yours. That’s enough.”

“That’s enough? Really?”

Bran tapped his cigarette ash into the incense holder, giving Isaiah a look that said, What else? Seeing him play innocent, it was clear he had no intention of revealing everything.

“Look, Bran.”

Isaiah sighed, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

“My prediction was that if you were appointed boss, Chester’s pissed-off side would fire the first shot. Then you’d have a reason to retaliate. Justification is important around here. Even the neighborhood dogs know you should never draw your gun first.”

“The dogs are much smarter than Chester, then.”

Bran laughed, exhaling cigarette smoke. Isaiah ignored him and continued.

“But what if Chester becomes the boss? Then his side has no reason to draw their guns. Are you guys going to draw first then?”

“I’ll handle that myself.”

As expected, Bran cut him off sharply.

“Which side draws first, and for what reason, is a matter between us.”

“Us?”

“The members.”

Even though it was the expected answer, his chest momentarily ached. Perhaps it showed on his face, because Bran spoke as if he couldn’t help it, yet with sufficient consolation in his tone.

“You’re not Family, are you?”

It was a difficult problem. Even as lovers, if he wasn’t a member, he couldn’t intervene. Of course, Isaiah understood this intellectually. But disappointment was disappointment. Knowing that Bran could easily make an opening for him if he just decided to made him even more anxious.

“You just need to blow Chester’s head off on the Code Green signal.”

But Bran just repeated himself. Seeing him draw the line two, three times, it seemed he had absolutely no intention of letting Isaiah get involved any further. His unexpectedly firm attitude drained Isaiah’s energy.

Isaiah flopped weakly onto the bed. As he lay there staring blankly at the ceiling, Bran spoke in a placating tone.

“Hey, what’s the problem?”

Isaiah kept his gaze fixed on the ceiling as he replied.

“No. It’s just… I thought that once we became lovers, I’d be able to get deeper inside you.”

“Does that mean you were expecting to fuck me?”

Bran narrowed his eyes, tapping his cigarette ash.

“If you want, I’ll let you.”

“I definitely don’t want that.”

Isaiah stated firmly, even in the midst of it all.

“Then?”

“You barely talk about yourself.”

“Because there was no opportunity.”

Bran stubbed out his cigarette in the incense holder. Lying back down on the bed, he pulled Isaiah close beside him and started stroking the back of his head with one hand.

“And honestly, there was no need to. Is it important why I became a Mafioso? What purpose I had for infiltrating? Is that information you need to shoot the gun? If it were, I would have told you long ago. But it’s not, is it?”

The hand stroking his hair was endlessly gentle, but every word he spoke carried a sense of distance. His tone was affectionate and his voice soft, but Isaiah couldn’t tell if these were things lovers should say to each other.

“Besides, you might not know this, but there are things one must hide precisely because they are lovers.”

“What? How can that be?”

Bran whispered to the unconvinced Isaiah, lowering his voice significantly.

“For example, let’s say you fell in love with someone other than me. Could you confess everything about your past, about your drug use? About how many people you’ve killed so far?”

Isaiah couldn’t readily answer. Loving someone other than Bran was impossible in the first place, but even setting that aside, voluntarily revealing his past in detail to someone he loved… it was unthinkable. He didn’t want to do that.

“So, you also have things you can’t tell me?”

“Now I do.”

Bran said, holding Isaiah closer.

“Things I could have said until recently, I can’t say anymore. I now have things that must remain secret for life, until we break up.”

…Relationships were too complicated. Having no experience, he didn’t know how far he could cling or make demands in the name of being lovers, and it was difficult to synchronize his long-held feelings with the pace of this newly started relationship. He was afraid he might run wild on his own.

“I don’t know…, I just.”

Isaiah said honestly.

“I’m just… scared you’ll be in danger. And if there’s any part I can play to help with that, I want to help.”

“Right. That’s why we decided you’d blow Chester’s head off.”

It was back to square one. At this point, it seemed Bran was determined not to entrust him with anything else, no matter what. And the Bran that Isaiah knew would definitely never bend on that decision.

“Fine.”

With a resigned touch, Isaiah pushed Bran’s chest away.

“The Code Green signal? Is it decided?”

As Isaiah pulled away from his embrace and asked, Bran also sat up naturally and replied.

“After the service ends, everyone will come out the back door of the chapel together. In the parking lot, after I embrace Chester one last time and pull away, that’s when you shoot.”

“Classic.”

“Natural is best.”

Bran got off the bed and straightened his wrinkled dress shirt as he spoke.

“No matter what unexpected situation arises, the Code Green signal remains valid. The moment I embrace Chester and pull away, don’t forget.”

“The phrase ‘unexpected situation’ bothers me.”

“I’m just saying it in case. It’s like the term ‘act of God’ that always comes with contracts.”

Anyway, there was no winning against him in an argument.

Bran, having quickly straightened his clothes, showed signs of leaving the bedroom. Isaiah finally snapped back to reality, picked up his underwear and pants scattered on the bed, and spoke.

“You’re heading back now, right? Give me a ride to Mountain Dog.”

“What?”

Bran looked back, his hand on the bedroom doorknob. Isaiah didn’t answer the man staring at him as if asking what he was talking about, but instead pointed to his own lips, which were a mess from being bitten by Bran. Bran nodded as if he understood immediately.

“Get dressed and come out.”

While waiting for the elevator, Bran asked.

“Speaking of which, where are the ledgers?”

“Ledgers?”

Only then did Isaiah remember the several notebooks that had been inside the rifle case.

“Right. What are those, anyway?”

“You saw them, you should know. They’re ledgers.”

Bran said in a calm, or rather, brazen tone.

“So, where are they now?”

“I put them in Bell Financial cabinet.”

“I see.”

When the elevator arrived, Bran let Isaiah get in first, then followed him. He pressed the button for the basement level and spoke.

“Don’t forget them when you move on the day. You said you’re using the M24, right? Put them in the bag beforehand. Carry it with you wherever you go.”

“Do you know how heavy those notebooks are?”

“I know. I put them there.”

There was nothing to say.

“If necessary, you can even strap them to your body, I don’t care. Anyway, keep them with you unconditionally. Absolutely do not let them leave your side.”

“Is that an order?”

Just as Isaiah asked, the elevator arrived at the parking garage.

“It’s a request.”

Bran said with a smile and got out of the elevator first. Isaiah sighed and followed him.

The two got into Bran’s Bentley side by side. As they exited the underground parking garage, the clouds had cleared, revealing a very clear and bright night sky.

“Is tomorrow the full moon?”

Bran said, lowering the driver’s side window slightly.

“Probably.”

“I hope it stays clear like this.”

Isaiah also lowered the passenger window slightly. The night air felt pleasant for a change. As he rested his arm on the window frame, gazing at the front or perhaps the back of the moon floating gently above the roadside trees, Bran suddenly spoke.

“Have you heard that story? That the moon smells like gunpowder.”

“Did you make that up…?”

“No way.” Bran chuckled, turning the steering wheel.

“It’s what the astronauts who went to the moon said. They all had experience firing guns, so they described the smell of the gas on the lunar surface like that. Like the smell from a freshly fired gun.”

“Hmm.”

Isaiah rolled the window all the way down. Perhaps because there were less than ten days left in November, the wind carried the scent of winter. In the cold air, he felt like he could faintly smell gunpowder too.

“So if I want to feel like I’m on the moon, I just need to stick my nose in a gun barrel?”

“Saved 1.5 billion dollars.”

“Is that the cost of going to the moon? That much?”

“Probably the round-trip cost for two people.”

“Shooting a gun is better, then.”

“And you can kill people, too.”

As they exchanged idle banter, they soon arrived in front of the Mountain Dog.

“Are you just dropping off your smartphone?”

Bran asked Isaiah, who was unbuckling his seatbelt.

“No. I should probably hang around for a bit before going in. Need to establish a witness for my alibi, just in case.”

“Trying hard, aren’t you.”

“Because someone chewed up my lips.”

Bran laughed. Isaiah thought he might at least kiss him apologetically, but there was nothing. Then again, if Bran had any conscience, he wouldn’t touch them in their current state. Instead, he took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth.

“Did you say you’re going to Virginia tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“And coming back?”

“Probably Thursday afternoon.”

“I see.”

Bran lit his cigarette. Isaiah waited, sensing he had something more to say, but Bran remained silent, just smoking. Then, after exhaling smoke for the third or fourth time, he spoke.

“Have a safe trip. I wonder if we’ll be able to see each other, even briefly, on Thursday night.”

“Shouldn’t we be able to? I’ll be at Bell Financial in the early morning.”

That sounded like he was saying he really wanted to see him, making Isaiah feel slightly embarrassed afterward. Bran smiled seeing Isaiah like that, then blew cigarette smoke out the driver’s window. After that, he turned his head slightly again, kissed Isaiah not on the lips but on the cheek, and said.

“Yeah. We probably can.”