NFS 2.2

The car heading for an empty parking space stopped. Joo Seung-ha turned his eyes to the other man, fully prepared for how incredulous Seo Ahn-jae would be, but Seo Ahn-jae’s reaction was different from expected. There was no disbelief or irritation. Rather, a serious light passed through his eyes.

“When was the last time you ate?”

“…Yesterday.”

Joo Seung-ha turned his head away again in embarrassment, repeatedly running his hand through his hair.

“I’ll get out since I just need to eat.”

However, as soon as he said he’d get out, the car moved. Seo Ahn-jae remained silent throughout the drive. This time, fortunately, the direction he was heading in was familiar to Joo Seung-ha. It turned out to be Seo Ahn-jae’s apartment. But even after arriving, Joo Seung-ha couldn’t just go to his own home.

“Follow me. Unless you want to get beaten up and go to the hospital for tests.”

Seo Ahn-jae’s threat wasn’t scary. He just couldn’t overcome the strength pulling his arm again. 11:40 p.m. The front door to Seo Ahn-jae’s domain opened before Joo Seung-ha’s eyes.

Why am I here? Joo Seung-ha asked himself repeatedly while looking down at the dining table. No answer came, only more questions followed. Why don’t I just leave? He already knew part of the answer to that question.

Joo Seung-ha reluctantly raised his eyes to look at Seo Ahn-jae across from him. He set down a large plate in front of Joo Seung-ha with a thud and sat down. On the plate was kimchi fried rice. This was what Seo Ahn-jae had quickly made just moments ago.

Putting aside giving spicy food to someone who hadn’t eaten all day, he couldn’t understand why Seo Ahn-jae was making this for him. If he really wanted to feed him, he could have ordered delivery instead of washing his hands and cooking right away. And the portion was too large—enough for three people.

“Eat.”

Seo Ahn-jae started eating his own equally large portion of kimchi fried rice. When Joo Seung-ha simply stared at him without taking a bite, Seo Ahn-jae glanced up while chewing a mouthful. At his look asking ‘Why aren’t you eating?’ Joo Seung-ha had many things he wanted to say, but what came out was just this question, “Why kimchi fried rice?”

“Because it’s delicious.”

Joo Seung-ha looked down at his kimchi fried rice. It was a dish that any Korean who liked kimchi would find tasty. Easy to make, simple ingredients. He couldn’t understand why this seemingly thoughtless dish felt more burdensome than any expensive meal.

Joo Seung-ha moved his spoon and put a little in his mouth. Though it only contained kimchi and rice, the familiar savory and spicy taste stimulated his brain. The taste wasn’t bad. But he couldn’t take a second spoonful right away. He heard Seo Ahn-jae mutter.

“It’s the only thing I’m confident in making.”

Joo Seung-ha stopped his spoon in mid-air and looked at him. Seo Ahn-jae met his gaze with his left arm resting on the table.

“Why?”

“That’s what I should be asking. Why are you cooking for me?”

“Why do you think you’re the only one I do this for?”

Joo Seung-ha was momentarily speechless. Right, who knew if Seo Ahn-jae had a hobby of making kimchi fried rice for just anyone? Feeling embarrassed for being overly sensitive, he deliberately replied stiffly to hide his emotions.

“It doesn’t suit you, senior.”

“Everyone has unexpected sides. You saw it earlier too.”

What did I see earlier? When Joo Seung-ha showed his confusion, Seo Ahn-jae finished chewing and stated bluntly.

“My sister.”

What about your sister? When Joo Seung-ha again showed complete incomprehension, Seo Ahn-jae’s brow furrowed.

“She has a terrible personality but likes dogs.”

Joo Seung-ha was taken aback, but one thing was clear. The brother with the terrible personality was right in front of him. The morally bankrupt brother went further, sneering as if finding it ridiculous that his sister liked dogs.

“It’s so pathetic.”

“…Your sister.”

Joo Seung-ha barely opened his mouth, still not moving past one spoonful. Looking toward his eyes that were asking ‘What?’ he asked seriously.

“She’s your biological sister, right? Listed together on the family registry.”

“Yeah. Unfortunately legally tied together.”

Joo Seung-ha finally understood why his sister had called Seo Ahn-jae a dog during their first phone call in the car. They were closer than anyone by blood. After the incident in the parking lot until now, Joo Seung-ha had been tense like a meerkat vigilantly watching his surroundings.

But perhaps because of witnessing this warm family affection, the wariness that had been building up melted away surprisingly easily. Joo Seung-ha slowly moved his arm and began eating. Seo Ahn-jae glanced at him briefly, but that momentary look was quite sharp.

Without Joo Seung-ha noticing this, their meal ended similarly to all the previous times before, filled only with the sounds of eating and moving dishes without conversation. But after it ended, it looked like things between them were different from before. Unlike when Seo Ahn-jae had left Joo Seung-ha’s home right after eating, Joo Seung-ha couldn’t leave.

“What do you mean I can’t leave?”

When Joo Seung-ha asked this sharply, Seo Ahn-jae, who was clearing the dishes, commanded briefly.

“Take a shower.”

“Why should I…ha, why should I shower at your place?”

Seo Ahn-jae put the dishes in the sink, turned around, crossed his arms, and leaned back.

“Do you think it’s strange?”

“I don’t think it’s strange! …I just have no reason to shower at your place.”

“You do. You smell and you’re dirty from holding Cookie.”

Joo Seung-ha barely resisted the urge to smell himself. But strangely, Seo Ahn-jae’s direct way of speaking that tended to make people uncomfortable didn’t feel bad right then. Maybe because it had become familiar, but it didn’t feel malicious. It was just a gruff statement of facts. So Joo Seung-ha suppressed his confusion and replied calmly.

“Yes, that’s why I want to go home quickly.”

“It’s late. I’ll let you stay over.”

“No thanks. I’m going to sleep at my place.”

“Just stay. I’ll drive you to work tomorrow morning so you won’t be late.”

He seemed to unconsciously hesitate at the mention of “work.” Seo Ahn-jae caught this with uncanny perception and asked sharply.

“Not going to work?”

He could have lied and said he was going, could have gotten up, but that quick-wittedness didn’t come out properly. Having missed the timing, Joo Seung-ha hesitated before giving a reluctant answer.

“I’m on vacation.”

“Is that so?”

When he’d expected to be asked why he was on vacation, preparing to lie, Seo Ahn-jae suddenly didn’t inquire about the details.

“How long?”

“That’s none of your business.”

Realizing belatedly he didn’t need to answer everything, Joo Seung-ha replied sharply. Seo Ahn-jae smirked and opened the refrigerator to take out ketchup. Confused by this sudden action, Joo Seung-ha stood up as Seo Ahn-jae walked up to him.

“I’m leaving.”

“You’re dirty.”

Seo Ahn-jae said while lightly grabbing Joo Seung-ha’s arm. Focused on being caught by him again, Joo Seung-ha didn’t immediately notice Seo Ahn-jae’s hand with the ketchup bottle moving.

“If I’m so dirty you can’t stand it, then I’ll…”

Joo Seung-ha stopped mid-sentence and inhaled sharply. With a squirt, ketchup covered Joo Seung-ha’s chest and pants like a stream. Startled, Joo Seung-ha stepped back and cursed.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

Ignoring Joo Seung-ha’s anger, Seo Ahn-jae tilted his head to one side as if admiring the soiled clothes.

“Should’ve gone with wine. Ketchup doesn’t do it justice.”

Joo Seung-ha was too dumbfounded to even speak. Seo Ahn-jae raised his eyes to him and pointed to the bathroom again.

“Go shower.”

“Damn it, are you crazy…?”

“I’m holding back from dragging you there and washing you myself. I can do that if you want.”

Joo Seung-ha’s bewildered eyes suddenly hardened. Swallowing a curse, he retorted in a low voice.

“Those kinds of threats don’t work on me.”

Seo Ahn-jae twisted his lips in a smirk.

“I know. That’s why I’m kindly letting you know I’ll do it by force.”

Joo Seung-ha glared daggers at him for a moment before unconsciously glancing at the front door. Could he escape if he ran now? A cold voice that noticed his glance stopped him again. It was a voice devoid of threat or kindness.

“Besides, we have things to discuss. Mr. Joo Seung-ha, who’s exact with calculations, right?”

‘Calculations’—this word sharply cut through his anger-inflated emotions. He immediately recalled what Seo Ahn-jae had brought up in the parking lot. Though Joo Seung-ha had no intention of settling that matter now, strangely, he couldn’t firmly turn him down.

“If you understand, go shower and come back.”

Coming out after showering, Joo Seung-ha thought life was truly unpredictable. To think he’d end up eating food made by Seo Ahn-jae, showering at his place, and wearing his clothes. Though the past was over for Joo Seung-ha, he couldn’t help making comparisons. His past self would probably have had a heart attack by now.

Yet now he was experiencing everything he’d wanted then. Being held by him, being taken care of even if not gently, the kiss. Joo Seung-ha stopped drying his hair with the towel. Though the second forced kiss had pressed harder against his lips, the memory of the first gentle kiss that barely touched was clearer in his mind.

Damn it, Joo Seung-ha shook his head as if to erase the memory. He should have parted ways in the parking lot. Should have run away instead of quietly waiting to eat. He deliberately filled his mind with moments of regret. Now he just needed to remember the discomfort of wearing these ill-fitting clothes if he was going to fight with him again.

Joo Seung-ha looked at himself in the mirror still wearing those ill-fitting clothes. Though they were just a t-shirt and training pants, the clothes were embarrassingly large. 

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath as he went to the living room, where Seo Ahn-jae sat on the sofa looking at a tablet, his hair half-wet from his own shower. Joo Seung-ha steeled himself while looking at the other man’s profile.

Don’t waver no matter what nonsense he spouts about calculations. As he approached the sofa, he couldn’t get out his warning first. Past midnight, Seo Ahn-jae’s smartphone suddenly rang. He stared expressionlessly at the name on the screen for several rings before answering just before it cut off.

“Yeah.”

After briefly answering, he listened for a while before uttering another single word.

“So?”

His expressionless face and short responses were so brusque it seemed like bad work-related news. But a work call at this late hour? As Joo Seung-ha wondered about it, Seo Ahn-jae suddenly passed him the phone.

“Take it.”

Why me? Joo Seung-ha drew back warily.

“Who is it?”

“My sister.”

Ah. Joo Seung-ha blinked and reluctantly took the phone being thrust closer. “Yes, this is Joo Seung-ha.” His sales job introduction came out automatically. His sister’s voice pierced his ear immediately.

[The baby is shaking like a tractor. Can’t even sleep.]

“It’s because it’s in an unfamiliar place. Leave him alone and he’ll settle down with time. It might take a while but…”

[Does he have to be left alone? I’m holding him now. Can’t I hold him until he calms down?]

Though it was a question, her strangely forceful tone sounded like a threat. How dare you oppose me wanting to hold him. So Joo Seung-ha withdrew his advice about leaving him alone.

“…Is Cookie not struggling to get away?”

[Not at all.]

Pride could be heard in her voice. Joo Seung-ha tried to hold back a smile as he spoke.

“Cookie is timid but he likes people and is very affectionate. Um, I think it’s okay to keep holding him for now. But you need to sleep and it must be tiring to keep holding him…”

She cut off his words decisively.

[No. I’m going to keep holding him.]

“…Yes. But Cookie hasn’t been able to bathe so he must smell quite bad?”

[I’ve dealt with a human who reeks from his rotten soul. What’s this smell compared to that?]

“Ah…yes.”

[Alright. I’ll contact you if anything comes up. Oh, tell that rotten guy it’s Mom’s birthday next week.]

Joo Seung-ha hung up and blankly looked at the “rotten guy.”

“What?”

“She says it’s your mother’s birthday next week.”

Seo Ahn-jae lowered his eyes to the tablet and spat out, “What’s so special about the day someone was born?”

Seo Ahn-jae seriously studied the screen while scrolling, then glanced up.

“What now?”

“No, I was just wondering what kind of people your parents…Never mind.”

“They were both company employees. Researchers.”

“Ah.” Joo Seung-ha let out a half-understanding exclamation and asked no more questions. Seo Ahn-jae was frowning in concentration on what looked like a report document. Though Joo Seung-ha had prepared for another fight throughout his shower, his opponent showed no signs of starting one.

When Joo Seung-ha glanced at the time after watching him work for a while, it was past 1 a.m. It was late, and after showering, fatigue made his eyes heavy with previously unfelt drowsiness. Thinking he should leave before it got later, he tried to stand, but Seo Ahn-jae’s words stopped him.

“Sit.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, is there?”

“There is. After I finish looking at this.”

Joo Seung-ha stared at the shameless man while holding back curses. Sensing the other man’s gaze on him, Seo Ahn-jae spoke without looking up.

“Don’t want to wait? Do it anyway. I waited seven years.”

“If you were going to wait that long, why didn’t you file a missing person report?”

“Ah, that. My pride was hurt.”

Seo Ahn-jae answered casually while scrolling through the screen. Though it could have been a laughable response, Joo Seung-ha found it to be curious at first. How could he admit so easily that his pride was hurt? He even felt slightly envious.

He was like that in the past too. Never tried to hide his weaknesses. Perhaps that was why they didn’t seem like weaknesses, and he became more admired for it. Sometimes when Joo Seung-ha saw reasons why he had liked him in the past, it gave him a strange feeling. He pushed away the feeling and replied coldly.

“Because you got played by someone you considered lower than a pebble on the ground?”

Seo Ahn-jae looked up right then. Their gazes met in silence for a moment. Joo Seung-ha felt he saw a complex light appear and disappear in Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes. But as if it was an illusion, Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes returned to normal and went back to the report.

“Think what you want.”

“I really don’t understand you, sunbae.”

At Joo Seung-ha’s self-deprecating mumble, Seo Ahn-jae twisted his mouth.

“Glad to hear it.”

Why? Joo Seung-ha asked with his eyes while sinking deep into the sofa. Though Seo Ahn-jae wasn’t looking at him, he answered as if psychic.

“It means you’re curious about me now.”

What is he, a shelter dog wanting attention? Joo Seung-ha was about to retort but suddenly felt too tired. His guard lowered with the combination of Seo Ahn-jae focusing on work, the late hour, and fatigue. Though he knew he shouldn’t sleep, drowsiness prevailed in the end.