NFS 2.3

Soon after, Joo Seung-ha fell asleep sitting with his head on the sofa. And Seo Ahn-jae simply watched him for a long time. Wearing his oversized clothes and looking somehow younger, he resembled the bright student from seven years ago. Though he had changed to seem like a different person since meeting again, when sleeping, his past self showed through.

Seo Ahn-jae had thought he disliked the other man’s past self, but now realized that wasn’t the case at all. Whether his past or present self, he wanted to catch Joo Seung-ha no matter what. This wasn’t just for sexual gratification. He genuinely wanted to keep Joo Seung-ha in his sight, in his hands, in his arms. Seo Ahn-jae’s dark eyes grew endlessly deeper with desire and greed as he watched Joo Seung-ha.

When Joo Seung-ha woke up the next day, it was past 8 a.m. Along with the familiar bitterness of being late, his body tensed at the unfamiliar scenery before his eyes. What the…Joo Seung-ha shot up, still half-asleep. Looking around, he realized where he had fallen asleep last night. He’d dozed off on the sofa waiting for Seo Ahn-jae to finish up with work, but now he woke up in a bed. When did he…?

Joo Seung-ha inhaled sharply and quickly checked under the covers. He was still wearing the same clothes. He felt annoyed at his momentary relief and needlessly racing heart. Even if he’d slept deeply, surely he would have known if Seo Ahn-jae had assaulted him, so why was he scared? Joo Seung-ha frowned as he looked around the room.

This seemed to be Seo Ahn-jae’s bedroom. Though he should have grown accustomed to it after sleeping here all night, Seo Ahn-jae’s scent was still strong all around him. Joo Seung-ha checked the time, got up, made the bed, and went outside. Seo Ahn-jae had already left for work, but food in takeout containers was spread on the dining table. And beside it, there was a small note.

‘Eat.’

Joo Seung-ha held the note while looking at the food. Though he didn’t know when it had been ordered, it smelled amazing. It looked like bean sprout soup. But without even giving it a second glance, he put down the note and left Seo Ahn-jae’s house.

Back home, Joo Seung-ha showered and changed clothes, then immediately rushed out again for a suddenly remembered appointment. Only when he caught his breath on the subway did the rattling noise signal the start of a tedious journey.

Though everyone was looking at their smartphones, Joo Seung-ha had no leisure to care about a world full of petty stories. Instead, like forcibly pulling out postponed homework, he recalled his conversation with Seo Ahn-jae in the parking lot. Actually, there was something more bothersome than the talk of calculations from seven years ago.

‘You should have waited. Since you started it, you should have waited until we were equal!’

Though it sounded like blame for not waiting, Joo Seung-ha didn’t misunderstand Seo Ahn-jae. Unlike then, with a cooler head now, he didn’t consider it a love confession or even a thread of hope. He didn’t need love or hope for that love now anyway.

However, his criticism felt unfair. It sounded like blaming Joo Seung-ha’s impatient nature for being unable to wait, as if that was why the love had ended in the first place. But if nothing had happened that final day, Joo Seung-ha would have kept orbiting around Seo Ahn-jae even after spending all his money, not leaving until he was exhausted.

As time passed, Joo Seung-ha’s love would have grown dim and faint, falling like autumn leaves in the wind—whoosh, then rustling away with another breeze, until finally only bare branches remained and he barely managed to give up on this futile love affair. If even dry branches had remained, his heart might have fluttered at those words now.

But seven years ago that day, Joo Seung-ha was cut down by an ax. That was why Seo Ahn-jae’s criticism felt unfair. Perhaps if he knew this truth, Seo Ahn-jae would learn the end wasn’t his fault and his pride would be hurt again. Come to think of it, there couldn’t be a more satisfying revenge.

But Joo Seung-ha didn’t want to tell him. He didn’t want to use that sadness as a pitiful excuse. Though his love for Seo Ahn-jae was left as a rotting stump cut at the base, Seo Ahn-jae was still a whole tree to Joo Seung-ha.

The subway announcement indicated the next station. Joo Seung-ha looked up at the subway map to check how far it was until his stop. Perhaps because he felt pathetic for meekly following the other man’s words last night, he forcibly created reasons for his behavior.

After being criticized for not waiting, he couldn’t coldly push him away. In the past, Joo Seung-ha had thought of himself as an unfair victim who only gave love and Seo Ahn-jae as the perpetrator. Though Joo Seung-ha had bought Seo Ahn-jae with money, it felt more like Seo Ahn-jae had bought Joo Seung-ha’s money with time. So it didn’t feel like he had done anything wrong.

Perhaps it had been terrible self-pity disguised as love. So regardless of any intent behind Seo Ahn-jae’s words, he couldn’t dismiss them as nonsense. What if he had placed the other man in the position of perpetrator and viewed himself as an automatic victim? What if he had been hurt too? Now that love’s disguise was stripped away, he no longer saw himself only as a victim.

***

Executive Director Hwang, leaving Seo Ahn-jae’s office after a meeting that lasted less than 5 minutes, openly displayed his displeasure.

“What kind of half-hearted meeting was that? You begged me to come to the company before, but now you’re treating my opinions as a joke?”

The employees following behind quickly closed the door, which hadn’t even fully shut yet. Everyone glanced nervously at the closed door, knowing Seo Ahn-jae must have heard Hwang’s words. While they agreed Hwang was wrong to gossip so audibly, they also felt Seo Ahn-jae had been dismissive during the meeting.

He had shown complete disinterest in the DSB Shopping acquisition proposal that Executive Director Hwang had spent weeks preparing ahead of time. The employees knew how passionately Hwang had pursued this deal, so they could only interpret the CEO’s response as firm rejection. Even his words “Let’s wait and see” seemed halfhearted.

Everyone’s expressions darkened, worried about how the offended Executive Director Hwang would now treat his subordinates. Even Secretary Choi, though from a different department, watched Hwang’s retreating figure with concern in his eyes. Actually, he didn’t believe Seo Ahn-jae was opposed to Hwang’s proposal. Though he had no evidence, his instinct told him so.

He wondered if this was another extension of Seo Ahn-jae’s recent uncharacteristic behavior—the workaholic who used to live for the company showing several unusual signs lately. Secretary Choi worriedly glanced back at Seo Ahn-jae’s office, concerned about potential backlash from Hwang. What could he be thinking?

Though the meeting was over, Seo Ahn-jae remained at the conference table instead of returning to his desk, tapping his fingers while lost in thought. He was preoccupied with Joo Seung-ha’s reaction to his uncharacteristic words from last night. The question asked with wavering eyes, “…Was it wrong that I started it first?”

Seo Ahn-jae found this question fascinating. Seven years ago, despite being the one who bought Seo Ahn-jae with money, Joo Seung-ha had always acted like an enslaved person. While Seo Ahn-jae used to despise seeing the self-pity in his eyes, now even that confused question didn’t bother him.

Rather, he found that he liked it. He couldn’t help but be excited that Joo Seung-ha had shown his past emotions for the first time. The excitement soon branched out, drawing in other elements that pleased him. Having Joo Seung-ha in his territory last night felt satisfying, like satiety after hunger.

Of course, Joo Seung-ha must have left right away, so hunger overtook him again. But he didn’t want to lose this feeling he’d finally got a taste of. He wanted to keep him confined in his territory. 

Seo Ahn-jae finished his brief contemplation and opened a secure email.

***

The shelter management’s sudden meeting took place at Dallae’s Mom café. Fortunately, it was a quiet time with no customers, and Joo Seung-ha, who was the most free thanks to his being on vacation, arrived first.

“Vacation, really? A real vacation? So you’ve been resting at home since yesterday?”

Dallae’s Mom asked in disbelief. At the word “home,” Joo Seung-ha avoided her gaze, feeling guilty about staying out overnight.

“Yes. Am I not allowed to rest?”

“Oh no, of course you should rest. It’s just that I’ve never seen Sunny take a break. You would always even come to the shelter during the holidays, but you didn’t go yesterday?”

“Yes, just…” Unable to think of an excuse, he mumbled, and Dallae’s Mom smiled warmly at him.

“You did well. Hearing that you took a break is the best news since finding Cookie.”

“My news seems too trivial to be seen as good news.”

“No, it’s not.” Dalrae shook her head vigorously.

“You’re the shelter’s mascot, so, of course, it’s good news.”

…Me? Joo Seung-ha stared at her blankly, surprised by this new information. Wasn’t Peanut, who was friendly and adorable to everyone, the shelter’s mascot? But before he could ask, Dallae’s Mom left to attend to a customer, who had just entered. While trying to find his connection with Peanut until she returned, his smartphone screen lit up with a new message.

[On vacation? Come visit if you’re bored.]

It was from President Kang. Joo Seung-ha deleted the message immediately, finding it ridiculous. What kind of employee visits business partners during vacation? Not only was it absurd from an employee’s perspective, but he also disliked sensing the attempt at consolation in that short message. It meant his personal affairs had become public knowledge.

While rumors spreading about external events might be inevitable, he disliked this kind of consolation. Come to think of it, he remembered Seo Ahn-jae bringing food to his messy house. That could have been consolation too, but it hadn’t felt as unpleasant as this. Joo Seung-ha wondered why, and finally came up with one answer. Was it because that person’s very existence was irritating, so such consolation got buried?

“What are you thinking about so seriously?”

Dallae’s Mom, who had returned, placed a cool juice in front of Joo Seung-ha.

“Just thinking about how nothing seems to resolve itself easily.”

Dallae’s Mom nodded her head, interpreting his words as referring to shelter matters.

“Right, there have been endless incidents at the shelter lately. The landlord telling us to leave, Cookie being abandoned. Though it wasn’t easy, everything worked out in the end. It’s still amazing to think about it. How Million stepped in to help at that time.”

Joo Seung-ha just gulped down his juice, feeling guilty since the shelter’s problems had originally occurred because of him. Then Dallae’s Mom suddenly lowered her voice as if remembering something.

“Actually, things might have worked out even without Million’s intervention.”

“How?”

“At that time, I actually received an inquiry about shelter sponsorship through my account. The amount was quite substantial and specific, and they showed firm intention to sponsor. At first, I thought it might be an impersonation, so I called the person who contacted us, and they were indeed an employee.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of this.”

When Joo Seung-ha expressed his surprise, Dallae’s Mom nodded.

“I only told Jjang Nuna at the time. We were both very excited, but Jjang Nuna said we should look into the company just in case…The next day, they said we should reject this offer.”

Joo Seung-ha suddenly recalled the evening meeting at the shelter regarding the landlord issue. Dallae’s Mom had seemed odd then. She was about to tell Bong’s mom, who opposed the move, that the relocation could proceed smoothly. Was it because of this sponsorship?

“Why did they reject it?”

“Ah, well…” 

Dallae’s Mom hesitated for a moment before continuing.

“The company offering to sponsor was XX Investment. They sell something like private equity funds? And well, according to Jjang Nuna, one of their co-CEOs had the same name as…the landlord.”

“…”

“And XX Investment specifically requested Sunny as their consultant. I thought it was very strange, and Jjang Nuna must have thought so too. That’s why they rejected it…and then the landlord’s name appeared again.”

Seo Ahn-jae. And Million. Joo Seung-ha finally realized why Sister Jjang Nuna had tried to go to Million without telling him. She must have wanted to block Seo Ahn-jae’s persistent contact at her level.

It felt strange. Something kept surging like waves inside his chest. While interference from President Kang and Seo Ahn-jae had been unpleasant, this interference was a warmth that tickled his heart. It felt similar to when the president had told him to take a vacation.

“Jjang Nuna said not to worry since it could be someone with the same name, but it is strange. Even if it’s the same person, that’s strange too. It’s not unlike giving someone a disease and then selling them the cure.”

Suddenly, Joo Seung-ha burst out laughing. Even when Dallae’s Mom asked “Why? Why?” in surprise, he couldn’t answer properly because he was still laughing. Her words were spot on. Giving disease then cure. It must have been Seo Ahn-jae’s scheme all along. Maybe he really was trying to get revenge by unsettling Joo Seung-ha, whose pride he had hurt seven years ago.