CCS Ch 6
by soapa“…I saw the pictures. The commercial photos.”
He seemed to be referring to the commercial he shot with Doa. Yooho nodded once to indicate he was listening. Was it a swimsuit commercial, though? He thought it was a water park commercial.
“Um, she’s very…pretty, and tall… and good at scuba diving… and she won first place in hunting…”
Pretty, tall, good at scuba diving, he could understand, but what was this about winning first place in hunting? Yooho suppressed his curiosity, knowing that if he started questioning Semin, they’d be there all day.
“The whole time I was watching… I was thinking, how can someone be so perfect… but…”
“…”
“…S-still, I thought you were… too good for her.”
With every word, Semin’s red tongue peeked out, spitting out the words that had been clumped together in his mouth.
“I… don’t know anyone… as amazing as you… who… would be a good match for you, Sir…”
“…”
“S-so… I can’t introduce you to anyone. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
At Yooho’s simple reply, Semin finally lowered his gaze. His unusually dark hair softly fell onto his pale forehead. The long shadows cast by his thick, dark eyelashes trembled with every subtle movement.
“Don’t you have one, Kang Semin?”
Yooho asked, following the slender shadows. Semin asked back in a small voice, “What?”
“A girlfriend.”
Because if you do, I should be worried too. He drew out the end of his sentence. Semin smiled faintly and shook his head.
“No. Who would want someone like…”
Semin closed his mouth, so Yooho didn’t bother asking about the unfinished sentence. He shrugged and focused on his meal again.
“Customer, I heard our staff member was very rude earlier.”
A staff member, holding a bill, entered the room and addressed Semin, sitting formally. The middle-aged man in a suit looked like the owner or manager. Semin’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t seem particularly surprised. He glanced at Yooho and smiled faintly.
“Ah… No, it was nothing.”
“He’s new, so his training is still lacking. It’s a small token of apology, but I prepared a small gift…”
“It’s alright…”
“It’s really nothing much. It’s just some side dishes, so please enjoy them with your family, and please visit us at Eunha Restaurant again. I beg you.”
He looked like he was about to bow his head if Semin didn’t accept the gift. Semin finally took the shopping bag he offered and nodded. The man, looking slightly relieved, continued,
“Please give my regards to the director…”
“…Ah, yes.”
“Thank you.”
Come to think of it, Sungmin did like this place. He seemed worried about losing an important customer by upsetting his brother. After the man left, Semin opened the shopping bag and said in a forced cheerful voice,
“Oh, this looks like dried croaker… Do you want to take it, Sir?”
“It’s okay. I rarely eat at home.”
“But you should be the one receiving it… There’s also abalone.”
Semin, examining the luxurious tiered box, offered it again, but Yooho declined and stood up. It was past 8 PM. He needed to shower and be in bed before 10. Seeing Yooho check the time on his phone, Semin seemed to realize something.
“S-Sir, I’ll drive you.”
He almost reflexively said it was fine, but he had already declined once, and Semin was already holding his car keys, so he missed the timing. Yooho silently followed Semin to the elevator leading to the underground parking lot.
“Sir, are you… free this weekend… after the shoot… in the evening?”
Yooho glanced down at the cautious voice coming from below. Semin was looking up at him, his face slightly flushed. The skin around his soft eyes was also tinged with pink.
“I was planning to go home and rest as soon as it’s over.”
“…Oh.”
“Why? Did you think of someone to introduce me to?”
“…”
Semin looked dumbfounded for a moment, then pouted his lips. Like a child. Yooho coughed to stifle his laughter. Semin, looking down, said dejectedly,
“It’s… not that. If you’re free, dinner…”
“Dinner?”
“I wanted to… buy you something more delicious…”
This time, Yooho chuckled. He could clearly see Semin’s ears turning red.
“Do I look like someone who can’t afford a decent meal?”
“What? No, th-that’s not what I meant…”
“…”
“…That’s not what I meant…”
Whether it was a chain restaurant, a fancy hotel restaurant, or a high-end Korean restaurant, Semin never seemed to eat properly. If Yooho prompted him, he would pick up a tiny amount of food and chew it excessively. He was hardly a pleasant dining companion. Yooho stared silently at Semin, who was struggling to find something to say, and only after the elevator stopped did he whisper, “Okay.”
“Let’s eat together.”
“…Ah.”
“I’ll pay this time. Whatever you like, Kang Semin.”
Ding, the doors opened. Semin, who had been shuffling his feet, suddenly looked up at Yooho and beamed.
“Anything is fine with me…”
His face was filled with pure joy, all muscle tension released. His narrowed eyes sparkled darkly.
Is having a meal together really that much of a joyous occasion? While he was preoccupied with this question, he heard the sound of an accelerating engine from somewhere. As he realized the sharp sound echoing through the empty underground parking lot was getting closer, Yooho grabbed Semin’s arm and pulled him close before even identifying the source of the sound.
“…!”
As Semin stumbled into his arms, a motorcycle whizzed past right in front of them with a roar. A high-pitched scream, “Whoa!”, accompanied the sound, suggesting the driver lacked control. Sure enough, the motorcycle wobbled, crashed, and skidded into a parking lot pillar.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry… Are you alright? I’m a beginner… I’m so sorry.”
The driver, surprisingly unfazed after rolling on the ground, stood up and asked Yooho. As Yooho was considering whether to say something, he heard a shaky gasp from his chest. Looking down, he saw Semin, held tightly in his arms with one arm trapped, blinking rapidly.
“Are you sure you’re not hurt? Did you get hit anywhere…?”
“…I’m fine. You should go to the hospital.”
At Yooho’s unintentionally curt words, the driver frowned in thought. He seemed to be on the verge of recognizing Yooho. Holding Semin tighter, Yooho started walking.
“Ah, I… should at least give you my business card…”
“No, it’s fine. Go.”
Fortunately, the driver didn’t follow when Yooho firmly refused. Only when they reached Semin’s car parked in the corner did Yooho release his hold. Semin sighed deeply.
“Wow… Thank you, Sir. You saved my life…”
Before he could finish, he stumbled slightly. Startled, Yooho grabbed Semin again and asked,
“You didn’t get hit, did you?”
“What? No…”
“Are you hurt anywhere?”
“No. I’m fine.”
He shook his head, his face looking genuinely calm. Yooho breathed a sigh of relief.
“Weren’t you surprised? Can you drive?”
“Ah, I-I’m okay. I was surprised, but… Yes.”
“…”
“Really. I can drive you. I’m… I’m a pretty good driver.”
Having finished his sentence, Semin quickly got into the car, seemingly worried Yooho might say something else. Yooho suppressed the urge to say more and opened the passenger door.
“It’s close to the gym.”
Semin muttered to himself as he entered the address Yooho had given him into the navigation system. That’s because I live there. Yooho was about to reply nonchalantly when he paused. Semin was sitting slightly sideways, deliberately using his left hand to operate the navigation system on the right side of the driver’s seat.
“…”
Looking closely, Yooho saw that Semin’s temples were damp. Beads of cold sweat were forming on his pale face. Yooho stopped Semin from grabbing the gear stick and leaned closer.
“Are you hurt?”
Semin gasped as Yooho’s face suddenly came close.
“Tell me now if you’re hurt.”
“N-no. No.”
He denied it hurriedly, but his gaze momentarily flickered to his right arm. Did he actually get hit? If so, he needed to stop the motorcyclist right now. He carefully grabbed Semin’s right wrist, and his thin shoulders flinched.
“S-Sir…”
His voice, lowered as if afraid someone might hear, cracked with a gasp. Yooho’s eyes hardened as he pushed up the loose sleeve of Semin’s sweatshirt. Even if Semin had been hit, it wouldn’t have been this arm. Because he had pulled Semin by his right arm.
“Sir, wait… I’m really oka…”
Ignoring Semin’s fragile voice, Yooho pushed the sleeve up to his elbow. Bright red handprints were marked on his thin arm. Yooho let out an involuntary sigh of disbelief. He hadn’t been able to control his strength in the urgent situation, but still…
“…Does it hurt a lot? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”
“No, it doesn’t hurt. Not at all.”
“Don’t lie. I saw you haven’t been able to use your right hand at all.”
“That’s because I… anyway, it’s not that it hurts… Ow!”
It looked like a nasty bruise was forming. As Yooho pulled on Semin’s wrist to get a closer look, Semin cried out. His head dropped, his hair falling over his eyes, only his trembling lips visible. Yooho turned fully towards him, his brow furrowed.
“Tell me properly. How much does it hurt?”
“…It’s… n-not because of you, Sir…”
“That’s not important right now.”
“It’s really not because of you… I think I pulled something. It happens often. It’ll be fine soon…”
Semin, with a tearful face, clutched his right shoulder with his left hand. His shoulder? Yooho frowned, and Semin sniffled, seemingly startled.
“My shoulder sometimes gets pulled… It’s fine quickly. I-I mean, it’s fine now. It just hurt for a moment…”
“…”
Yooho remembered how Semin’s body had jolted when he’d pulled his arm. His frown deepened.
“Did I pull too hard?”
“No, I’m telling you… It just happens sometimes…”
Semin’s voice began to tremble. If Yooho asked one more time, he would probably burst into tears.
“…Even so, you can’t drive like this.”
“I-it’s fine now. It was just numb for a second… It’s gone now.”
Semin demonstratively swung his right arm. Yooho wanted to believe him, but he couldn’t ignore Sungmin’s words. He’s very frail. Even a slight fever requires hospitalization…
He knew Semin didn’t want to reveal this fact, but safety was a different matter. After a brief deliberation, Yooho whispered calmly,
“It’s better to call someone and go home, just in case.”
“…Ah. Right… You must be worried…”
“It’s not about me, I’m worried about you driving back alone after dropping me off, Kang Semin.”
“…”
“I won’t be able to rest easy worrying about you.”
Time was ticking by relentlessly. Semin hesitated, then forced a smile.
“Th-then you should go in first, Sir. It’s late.”
“Call home…”
“I’ll call a designated driver. I can use an app.”
A designated driver… Wouldn’t it be safer to contact someone at home who was waiting for him? But it seemed excessive to interfere that much with an adult. Yooho simply nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt.
“Then I’ll head in.”
“Yes, Sir. See you on the weekend.”
His reply was almost too quick. As Yooho opened the door and got out, Semin, making eye contact through the car window, bowed his head with the same smile. His right arm was hanging limply again.
“…”
He had a relaxed expression until Yooho got out of the car. Even when preparing to drive, his face had paled and he’d broken into a cold sweat, but he hadn’t complained once. Even though his arm hurt so much he could barely lift it.
He’s used to hiding his pain. A bitter taste filled Yooho’s mouth.
He considered going back to check on Semin, but he couldn’t find a plausible excuse. He even wondered if it would be better to pretend he didn’t notice. He turned around quietly, but he still felt a nagging feeling. Yooho forced himself to move his feet, which felt stuck to the ground, and clicked his tongue.
***
“Semin, are you asleep?”
Sungmin asked after knocking. Semin quickly ran and opened the door. Sungmin, who had been holding his hand up ready to knock again, widened his eyes in surprise.
“Are you okay? The housekeeper said you were sick.”
The reason was as he expected. Semin shook his head exaggeratedly.
“No, I’m not sick.”
“Then why did you call a designated driver?”
“…I wasn’t sick, I was just a bit tired…”
“When that happens, call Mr. Jung. You have no idea who might show up when you call a stranger. You’re so fearless.”
The problem was that he hadn’t been able to sneak in unnoticed. He had paid the fee through the app in advance, but as soon as the designated driver arrived at the parking lot, he started dawdling, saying that it would cost him more to return from such a neighborhood and that he’d lose money. While Semin hesitated, not understanding the driver’s subtle pressure, Mrs. Kim, who had come downstairs, saw him returning with someone and told Sungmin.
“You’re not hiding something, are you?”
A gentle but firm hand stroked his head. Semin nodded and smiled.
“I’m fine. But Noona, you’re home early today…”
Despite his attempt to change the subject, a slender finger touched his forehead. Sungmin felt his temperature with a puzzled expression before withdrawing her hand.
“Yes, you don’t have a fever… By the way, didn’t you get a call today?”
“What call…?”
When Semin asked sullenly, Sungmin sighed lightly.
“Joseph asked for your number, so I gave it to him. He said he’d contact you, but I guess he hasn’t yet.”
“…What?”
Joseph? Semin tilted his head at the unfamiliar name. Sungmin continued, looking even more puzzled.
“You know, your friend from middle school.”
“…?”
“He hasn’t contacted you for a while since he went abroad, but he called saying he’s briefly back in Korea.”
“Huh? Who… who are you talking about?”
The more he heard, the more confused he became. Semin thought she must be mistaken. A childhood friend he would contact again? He had no such person. Sungmin chuckled, seeming exasperated.
“Look at you. You kept saying Joseph, Joseph, and now you’ve completely forgotten? He took such good care of you.”
“…”
“Don’t you remember Jung Joseph? His father was a director at Dongyoon Confectionery, so you even went to visit their factory.”
His parted lips stung. The saliva he swallowed felt thick and rough.
“He asked if you could have dinner on Sunday. You don’t have any other plans that day, do you?”
Jung Joseph. It was a while before the name he repeated in his mind connected with a memory. A round face, round eyes, sharp words spoken with a cheerful smile and bright voice, came flooding back one by one.
‘Semin, you really can’t read the room.’
He suddenly wanted to cover his ears. Even though Joseph’s face was now blurry, the cheerful tone of voice remained strangely vivid.
He was the friend who was first assigned to sit next to Semin in his second year of middle school. He had a round face and big, dark eyes. He initiated the conversation and naturally became Semin’s closest friend.
Semin didn’t know then, and still doesn’t know now, when or how things went wrong. By the time midterms were over in the first semester, things had already soured.
There was no overt exclusion, verbal abuse, or physical violence. It was just that everything Semin said or did was criticized and ridiculed. Because he always spoke with a smiling face and a bright voice, no one thought he was bullying Semin. Teachers and classmates all considered them close friends.
‘Ah, Semin, your voice is too loud. My ears hurt.’
‘Did you just see Semin? Didn’t he seem a little strange?’
‘I really don’t understand him sometimes.’
‘Semin, stop acting like you’re slow and answer me.’
Sungmin was busy establishing herself at her company. Semin mostly confided in Mrs. Kim, who thought that Semin, who hadn’t regularly attended school, was just surprised by the harsh words and actions typical of children his age.
‘He’s doing it because he’s your friend. He doesn’t mean any harm.’
He wanted to believe those words. It wasn’t always ridicule. They had many happy moments too. But as the vacation approached, the whispers, inaudible to others, increased. Semin finally couldn’t bear it anymore and poured out his feelings.
Why are you doing this to me? It hurts my feelings when you say those things. I know you don’t mean any harm, but I wish you wouldn’t. Joseph, staring at Semin’s flushed face as he rambled, asked in his usual affable and cheerful voice,
‘That’s really surprising. Is this the first time you’ve heard something like this in your life?’
‘…What?’
‘Ah, right, right. You missed a lot of school, didn’t you? So I guess no one has ever tormented you as much as I have.’
He sighed and began to explain the reasons. It was long, detailed, scathing, and specific. He calmly explained how Semin’s way of speaking, slow actions, and the various privileges he received because of his “frail health” annoyed him. He confidently added to the dazed Semin,
‘I haven’t said anything, but your family must be really tired too, right? You’re the type of person who bothers people a lot.’
His mother always apologized to Semin. She said she was sorry for not giving him a strong body and causing him so much trouble. Semin couldn’t understand why she apologized. Being sick was painful and difficult, but according to Sungmin, it was something Semin could overcome with his family’s support. So there was no need for his mother to apologize.
That day, he realized for the first time: being sick is a weakness. Because he was sick, in Joseph’s eyes, Semin was a deficient and flawed human being. That’s why Joseph thought it was okay to mock and attack him as he pleased.
The next day, Semin insisted on participating in PE class. Naturally, the result was disastrous. He felt short of breath, and when he opened his eyes, he was in the hospital. A few weeks later, he dropped out of school. Lying in bed, covered with a blanket, he endlessly replayed his regrets.
‘I should have hidden it.’
His family endured. They embraced his weakness and helped him. But he shouldn’t have let anyone outside his family see it. He hadn’t known such a simple fact when he was young.
“Sunday…”
If he remained silent for too long, Sungmin would sense something was wrong. Semin blurted out something random and swallowed his dry saliva. It was then that Yooho’s voice suddenly came to mind.
‘Come visit the set.’
“…I have… plans. On Sunday.”
As soon as he uttered those words, which were like a ray of light, he could breathe again.
“Plans?”
Sungmin asked dubiously. Semin nodded vigorously and said in a calm voice,
“Sir said he has a commercial shoot… He told me to come watch.”
“What?”
Sungmin’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as she questioned him. She looked like she couldn’t believe what she just heard.
“Are you talking about Hyun Yooho?”
“…What? Yes.”
“You’re going to see Hyun Yooho instead of Joseph…”
Sungmin paused. She looked away for a moment, choosing her words, then gave a slightly stiff smile.
“Look, Semin. I’m not trying to tell you what to do. You know that, right?”
“…”
“But, um… Joseph is coming back to Korea after five years, and you can only see him that one day. But Hyun Yooho…”
“…”
“I’m definitely not forcing you. But… I just… hope you don’t make a rash decision. You might regret it later. Joseph was the only friend who came to see you after you quit school…”
A cold sweat ran down his back as memories slowly surfaced. Semin was sitting on his bed, and Joseph was spinning around in the desk chair. After staring blankly into space and repeating the meaningless motion for a while, Joseph’s first question had been:
‘Are you going to tell your sister everything?’
He didn’t come to see me because he was worried. He came to check if my mouth was shut. Semin, suppressing the words rising in his throat, shook his head slightly.
“Noona… actually, I don’t really want to see Joseph.”
“Huh? Why?”
Of course, he couldn’t tell Sungmin everything. Semin desperately started making up excuses.
“…We just… didn’t part on good terms… We haven’t contacted each other since then, and I don’t think there’s a need to… meet again now. It’ll be awkward… and burdensome.”
“You didn’t part on good terms? What happened between you two?”
“It’s nothing much… Yeah, it’s nothing much, but just…”
His excuses quickly ran out. Semin lowered his head and took a shallow breath. Sungmin looked at him for a moment, then said in a bright voice,
“Okay, I understand. Do what you want.”
“…Ah.”
“It’s okay. I’m not saying you have to see him if you’re uncomfortable.”
Her hand, patting his shoulder, was still gentle. Semin blinked, dazed.
“Have you had dinner? I haven’t eaten yet, so I asked them to make something.”
“…Yeah, I ate out.”
At this moment, Sungmin would be feeling sorry for him. For her younger brother, who wouldn’t even see a long-time friend just because they had a small falling out.
She would be frustrated, and maybe even want to scold him. But she held back and pretended to be indifferent because she was being considerate.
The scales tipped in his heavy heart. Which was better, a childish and petty younger brother, or a pitiful and pathetic one? As Semin shifted the heavy weights, he soon realized.
‘It’s better not to tell her, right? She’s already stressed because of me, wouldn’t it be too much for her to have to deal with my friendships too?’
It was true that Joseph’s words had triggered Semin’s guilt, but that noble reason wasn’t all of it. Even if Joseph hadn’t tried, Semin would never have told his family about what happened with him.
He remembered the nights he spent hiding under the covers. After the betrayal, self-loathing, regret, and sorrow, the most intense emotion that followed was shame. He was ashamed of himself for not noticing Joseph’s hostility and deception for a whole year, and the more he thought about it, the angrier he became. So he hid it. He swallowed it down, tightly pressed and hardened, deep into his stomach. He wanted to pretend it never happened. He thought he would be okay if he did.
It’s okay to be childish and petty. It’s okay to be pitiful and pathetic. Because that’s how it’s always been.
‘But I don’t want to be a stupid younger brother too.’
Semin, watching Sungmin walk downstairs, slowly slid down the doorframe, leaning against it. He felt a slight dizziness. Sunday. He was supposed to meet Yooho, and Joseph was coming to Korea. He felt like he was suffocating in a whirlpool of muddy water.
***
The spring sunshine streamed through the arched window, reaching the edge of the bedskirt. Semin stared at the ceiling with wide-open eyes and muttered silently, I’m doomed…
He forced himself to sit up. His eyes were dry and sore. He couldn’t sleep until dawn because he was so anxious, and as morning approached, he became worried that he wouldn’t wake up on time if he fell asleep now, so he ended up not sleeping at all.
“…”
Why am I like this…? He didn’t have time for prolonged self-pity. He stumbled to his feet and went into the bathroom. Turning on the warm water and stepping into the shower booth seemed to clear his head a little. He felt like he could make it through the day.
After a 30-minute taxi ride, he arrived at the studio located in a back alley in Cheongdam-dong. As he turned the corner, he saw Yooho standing at the entrance of the building. As always, he was wearing a black tracksuit and sneakers. The only difference was that he had earphones in. Semin paused for a moment and fidgeted with the strap of his shoulder bag.
He soon changed his mind and took out his phone. He opened the camera app and pressed the shutter button. Click, a cheerful sound rang out.
“…”
How magical it was to capture a living, breathing moment on a small screen. Semin put his phone in his pocket and cautiously walked forward. When he was close enough for Yooho to hear his footsteps, Yooho looked up and turned around. He took out his earphones and smiled faintly.
“You’re here?”
“…Yes. Hello.”
“Your car? I think they offer valet parking.”
“I… took a taxi today.”
“Ah.”
As Semin got closer, Yooho, who was putting his earphones away, paused. He tilted his head and looked at Semin, a faint worry in his eyes.
“Is your shoulder okay?”
The kind question momentarily took Semin’s breath away. He quickly forced a smile.
“It’s fine. It’s… nothing.”
“That’s good. I was wondering if it still hurt too much to drive.”
“Not at all. Not at all… It was fine right after that day.”
“The bruise?”
A hand gently reached out and grasped Semin’s right wrist. Semin flinched and shrugged his shoulders. Ignoring his reaction, Yooho’s fingers, as he pulled up Semin’s sleeve, left a lingering warmth on his skin.
“It’s still there.”
Examining the bluish mark, Yooho lowered his dark eyebrows slightly and asked,
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
“No…”
“Give me your bag.”
“What?”
Before Semin could protest, Yooho swiftly took the bag off his shoulder. Then he pointed to the building entrance. “Let’s go in.”
“I can carry it…”
“Let’s go up first. We’re running out of time.”
The studio was located on the third floor of a building with no elevator. Yooho stubbornly held onto the bag, stepping aside and waiting for Semin. Semin had no choice but to go ahead and step onto the steep stairs.
Already feeling dizzy, the narrow and steep stairs made him so nervous he could barely breathe. If he tripped, he would injure Yooho as well. Semin gripped the handrail tightly and focused intently.
By the time they reached their destination, he was completely out of breath. As he leaned against the wall, his legs shaking, Yooho bent down and looked at Semin’s face. A large hand reached out and gently touched the skin around his eyes.
“Your eyes are a little red, too.”
“…”
“You didn’t drive, did you?”
Semin waited for Yooho’s hand to move away before nodding. Yooho, looking dubious, opened the studio door.
“Oh my, Yooho!”
A high-pitched voice from inside the open door instantly stirred the air. Semin stopped in surprise.
“Yooho, it’s been so long!”
The windowless studio was filled with various large pieces of equipment. The woman who emerged from behind a black lighting stand looked like a brightly colored bird with the sun at her back. Tall and slender, with flowing hair, a slim face, and striking features, there wasn’t a single unremarkable thing about her. While Semin was captivated by her, Yooho whispered in a slightly lower voice,
“She’s the photographer for today’s shoot.”
“Ah…”
“Hello.”
Yooho bowed his head in greeting. The woman smiled brightly, her gaze landing on Semin. Yooho gave a small smile at her inquisitive look.
“He’s a friend of mine. He said he wanted to see a photoshoot, so he came along. He takes photos too.”
“Oh, I see. Nice to meet you.”
“Speaking of which, would it be okay if he took some photos here, as long as it doesn’t get in the way?”
“Hmm…?”
A troubled expression overlapped with the friendly smile on her face at Yooho’s polite question.
“I don’t think that will be possible… There’s the issue of concept leaks, and even aside from that, for various reasons…”
It was an understandable answer. Before Yooho could say anything else, Semin quickly waved his hands.
“Oh, no, it’s okay. I’ll just watch quietly.”
“I’m sorry. It wouldn’t be a problem if it were my personal work, but it’s a corporate advertisement.”
“No, I’m grateful that you even allowed me to visit.”
“Okay. Ah, Yooho, could you stand over there for a moment before you change? I just want to check the lighting.”
She smiled brightly and placed her hand on Yooho’s back. Semin stared intently at her hand before forcing himself to look away.
“…”
Of course, he couldn’t maintain that for long. Every time he glanced over, she was moving Yooho around, trying to find the best angle. Her expression was friendly, but there was no other intention discernible in her actions. Nevertheless, every time her hand touched Yooho’s body, Semin felt uneasy.
“Stand on the tape mark. Why are you acting like it’s your first photoshoot?”
After some back and forth, she burst out laughing and pulled Yooho’s arm. Yooho smiled slightly. Semin felt his heart sink and unconsciously swallowed.
“Okay, go get changed. We’ll start the test shoot at 55.”
Finally releasing Yooho, she clapped her hands shortly. Free from the spotlight, Yooho immediately beckoned Semin. He followed him absentmindedly to a small office attached to the studio. It seemed to be a makeshift waiting room.
Click, the door closed, and the outside noise subsided, becoming relatively quiet. Yooho unzipped his track jacket and headed for the clothes rack. When Semin stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do, Yooho pointed to the sofa with his index finger.
“Have a seat.”
Semin finally put his bag down and sat on the sofa. Meanwhile, Yooho, who had taken off his t-shirt, picked up the first hanger. Semin, facing Yooho’s bare back, quickly turned away.
“It’s chaotic, isn’t it? Places like this are usually a bit messy.”
“No, not at all.”
The first outfit seemed to be the national team uniform. As Yooho was buttoning up the beige shirt, he suddenly stopped and looked back at Semin.
“Are you okay?”
“…What?”
“You look tired.”
“…”
“Don’t push yourself if you’re not feeling well. We can have dinner some other time.”
He was tired. He felt like he could collapse and fall asleep right there. Semin blinked rapidly and raised his voice.
“Ah, no. I’m fine, my condition…”
“Really?”
“…Yes, even though I look like this, I’m not that… bad…”
“I wouldn’t know. You don’t tell me, Kang Semin.”
His monotone voice held no emotion, but the words felt like an accusation. Semin’s heart dropped, then started racing. Yooho continued, his back still turned,
“You have to be especially careful with large joints like your shoulder. Once you injure them, you’ll suffer…”
“Um, a-are you close with the…photographer?”
The words burst out of him like a fire alarm. Yooho, who was adjusting his tie, stopped. He slowly turned around, his eyes filled with suspicion. Before he could ask anything, Semin started rambling.
“Y-you seemed close… Like you see each other often. And also…”
“…”
“You… look good together…”
“Huh?”
Yooho turned around completely and slowly approached him. Semin hurriedly caught his breath as he watched Yooho bend down.
“…I-I didn’t mean anything by it. The photographer is very… beautiful.”
Yooho bent his knees and sat down. He rested his chin in one hand and stared at Semin. His elbow brushed Semin’s knee. Semin unconsciously curled his fingers.
“Have you finally found someone worthy of you, Kang Semin?”
“…What?”
“You said I’d be too good for anyone.”
It sounded like a joke, but Yooho’s face was devoid of humor. Semin stammered,
“That’s… well…”
His words were strained, and the situation was rapidly deteriorating. Yooho spoke to the frozen Semin.
“W-well… I understand what you want to say, but weren’t we talking about something else?”
His perfectly reasonable words pierced Semin’s ears. Yooho’s clear eyes, innocent and unsuspecting, seemed to trap Semin. He licked his dry lips and took short breaths.
“S-Sir…”
“Anyway, I understand. Let’s talk later.”
He ended the conversation firmly and stood up. Semin hung his head again. His fingertips in his field of vision looked pale.
“…”
He suddenly broke out in a cold sweat. He wiped his damp chin with the back of his hand. Meanwhile, Yooho, finished with his preparations, closed the door and left without a word. In the suffocating silence, Semin muttered to himself,
“…Is he angry?”
Only after he spoke the words aloud did it sink in. His drowsiness and fatigue vanished, and his fingertips started to tremble. He paced back and forth in the waiting room, finally crouching down and catching his breath. The studio was windowless and enclosed, the air inside stifling and stagnant.
“What should I do…”
Why was Yooho angry? More importantly, would the shoot be okay? What should he do if he had disturbed Yooho before an important event…?
‘Do you know how weird your personality is?’
He couldn’t bear the sudden intrusion of Joseph’s voice. Semin jumped up and grabbed the doorknob.
***
“Yooho, you seem to be having trouble focusing.”
A playful reprimand came from behind the huge lens. Yooho just twitched an eyebrow. He wasn’t in the mood for lighthearted banter. He tried to smile, but the photographer had already lowered her camera.
“Shall we take a short break? Can I get some water here?”
At the welcome suggestion, Yooho put down the milk carton prop and nodded. The lights in the enclosed space were tiring. As he took the water bottle offered by a staff member, a concerned suggestion followed.
“Yooho, why don’t you go get some fresh air? You must be hot.”
The air conditioner was running, but it wasn’t enough to counteract the heat from the lights. Yooho nodded and took off his jacket.
“Is it okay if I roll up my sleeves?”
“One moment. I’ll do it for you.”
A staff member quickly approached and carefully rolled up both sleeves. He was glad the sponsorship was going well, but photoshoots weren’t really his thing. He especially disliked the fact that he couldn’t move freely in the clothes.
“If you go out that door, there’s a terrace. Just be careful not to get anything on your clothes or wrinkle them.”
Yooho nodded and thanked her briefly. The terrace was at the end of the hallway where the waiting room was located. Yooho, as a matter of course, knocked lightly on the waiting room door. There was no answer.
He knocked again and opened the door. The small office was empty. Looking down, he saw the camera bag on the sofa. The owner of the bag, however, was nowhere to be seen.
He wouldn’t have left his belongings behind. As soon as he stepped back into the hallway, the stuffy air constricted his breathing. He unconsciously tried to loosen his tie, then stopped and sighed. He started to feel irritated.
He opened the terrace door, and a wave of cool air greeted him. After letting the breeze wash over him, cooling the sweat on his neck and clearing his head, he gradually calmed down.
“Ha…”
He didn’t need to be so confrontational, did he?
Semin’s startled face overlapped with his immediate regret. It had annoyed him that Semin was asking such an obvious question and making nonsensical remarks, but Yooho hadn’t intended to pick apart his contradictions so pointedly.
Nevertheless, the subtle irritation lingered. He shouldn’t have invited Semin. Yooho placed both hands on the wide wooden fence and leaned forward. The residential area across the narrow alley was quiet and peaceful.
‘Where did he go, anyway?’
Where could he have gone in such a small studio? Just as he decided to look for Semin again and was about to turn around…
“…”
He saw a familiar head pop out of the building entrance. The loose sweatshirt, jeans, dark hair, and pale skin were all familiar. As Yooho watched, Semin hesitated with his phone in his hand, then lowered his head. He could almost hear a sigh, though it was impossible.
“Kang Semin.”
Calling out from three stories up felt awkward, but fortunately, the alley was quiet, so his voice reached Semin. Semin looked up, startled, his head swiveling around.
“Look up here.”
“…Gasp.”
Semin, turning around as if compelled by the command, stumbled as he looked up. He quickly regained his balance, but his face was etched with shock. He seemed unable to comprehend why Yooho was looking at him from up there.
“What are you doing there?”
“Ah…”
Semin looked particularly childlike from above. Not a happy child, but more like a kindergartener who had just lost his mother’s hand. Seeing him looking lost and bewildered made Yooho feel even worse about what had happened earlier. He forced a gentle tone.
“Did you go out because it was hot? I would have told you about the terrace if you’d waited.”
“…”
“Come up. If you open the door at the end of the hallway where the waiting room is…”
“I… I… think I need to go home…”
What? Yooho blinked in disbelief as Semin suddenly bowed his head.
“I’m sorry. Something came up…”
“…What?”
“G-good luck with the shoot. See you next time.”
“Wait. You’re just leaving? Kang Se…”
There was no time to stop him. Semin turned around and dashed away, disappearing around the corner of the alley. Yooho, left alone, stood there with his mouth open for a while before slowly muttering after the surroundings became quiet,
“Why would he leave all his belongings behind…?”
What was he supposed to do with the camera bag? He laughed in disbelief, then scratched the back of his head and opened the terrace door. He had planned to get his phone from the waiting room and call Semin, but unfortunately, as soon as he opened the door, he made eye contact with a staff member walking down the hallway.
“Yooho, did you get some rest?”
“Ah… yes.”
“That’s good. The photographer seems to be ready too.”
There was no excuse to avoid the staff member who immediately approached and adjusted his clothes. The photographer, seeing Yooho being led back under the lights, gave a pointed instruction.
“Let’s focus and finish the rest of the shoot. Put some effort into it, Yooho.”
He nodded, but his mind was elsewhere. Fortunately, no one expected him to perform like a professional model. An expression that conveyed, ‘I may not be able to act convincingly, but I’m a promising athlete promoting this product,’ was enough. The shoot proceeded smoothly.
The continuous flashes synchronized with the gunshot-like shutter sounds made his vision flicker. When he needed to perform a task, it was best to clear his mind. Yooho focused on the shoot, changing poses and making expressions according to the instructions coming from all directions. By the time he got used to it, he could imitate a professional model fairly well.
“Good, good. You’re a model, a model.”
Yooho’s policy was to keep busy when he was troubled. Staying still would only lead to overthinking, and overthinking wouldn’t solve anything. So, when he finished the shoot without further delay, he felt a sense of accomplishment.
The problem was the camera bag left in the waiting room.
“…”
As soon as he opened the door, he felt like he was making eye contact with the bag. Sighing deeply and changing his clothes, Yooho took out his phone. There were several missed calls and messages. All from Semin.
[I’m sorry, Sir, I had to leave suddenly. 12:20]
[I’ll contact you later. 12:20]
[Missed call 14:43]
[Please call me when the shoot is over. 14:45]
He glanced at the time. It was just past 4 PM. Semin probably realized he’d forgotten his bag when he tried to call Yooho. Zipping up his track jacket, Yooho pressed the call button.
― H-hello.
The immediate answer somehow bothered him. Feeling a bit petulant, Yooho skipped the greetings and asked,
“Are you coming to get it?”
― …What?
A dazed question reached his ears like a whisper. Semin’s voice sounded deliberately lowered.
“If you’re coming here, I’ll wait.”
― Coming to get… what…?
“You left your bag.”
― …?
“Your camera bag.”
A gasp came from the other end of the line. Yooho moved the phone away from his ear and chuckled. Wow. He completely forgot.
“Weren’t you calling about the bag?”
― That’s, no, I… wanted to apologize… Oh, right, my bag…
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just secretly sold it.”
― Oh, no…
Semin’s voice was tinged with a whine. Yooho chuckled and asked again,
“What happened with that urgent matter?”
― What? Ah…
“I’m done with the shoot, so if you need it now, we can meet halfway.”
― Oh, then… No, is that… okay…? If I leave now, it’ll probably take about 30 minutes…
― Dear, I told you to stay in bed.
An unfamiliar voice suddenly cut in. Yooho closed his mouth as Semin’s voice became a bit more distant.
― No, it’s just, I left something behind…
― And you’re going out again for that? Not now.
― It’ll only take a minute…
― No, no. You just took your medicine.
It was a gentle but firm, elderly voice. Does he live with his grandmother? Yooho made a quick guess and spoke,
“Should I bring it to your house?”
― What?!
“If you can’t come out.”
Uh, uh… A dazed voice trailed off hesitantly.
― No, but… I don’t want to trouble you that much…
“I have to take it with me anyway.”
― …Th-that’s true. I’m sorry…
Semin’s voice faded again, and then he seemed to be talking to the elderly person. Yooho held Semin’s bag and placed his phone between his cheek and shoulder.
― S-Sir, then would you… like to have dinner at my house?
“What?”
― There’s… no one else at home. My family will be home late… You can come over without feeling pressured.
Wasn’t his grandmother there? He was puzzled but decided not to ask.
“Okay. Text me your address, and I’ll take a taxi.”
― Yes, um… I’m sorry.
“It’s okay.”
As soon as he hung up, a message arrived. Yooho opened a taxi app, entered the address he received, and left the studio.
“This… must be it.”
The taxi driver said uncertainly after looking out the window for a while. Yooho looked out as well and voiced his immediate thought.
“I only see a wall.”
“I know. The navigation says it’s inside this wall… but where’s the entrance…?”
The high wall made of white bricks seemed to stretch endlessly. The other houses on either side of the wide road were similar. He hadn’t realized such a neighborhood existed in the heart of Seoul. Just as he was absorbing this realization, a large double door appeared. The taxi driver’s face brightened.
“Oh, this must be the gate.”
“Ah, I’ll get off here. Thank you.”
“Yes, have a good day… My goodness, what kind of people live in a place like this…?”
Yooho got out of the car, leaving behind the driver’s curious muttering. He felt along the thick-looking wall and pressed what he assumed was the doorbell. The gate opened shortly after.
Beyond the gate was a meticulously landscaped garden. Smooth stepping stones led to the front door across a neatly manicured lawn. Various flowering trees and shrubs of uniform height surrounded the walls.
After walking along the flower-scented path for a while, he finally reached the wide-open front door. Inside, an elderly woman with a slender, straight back stood with a smile. Yooho instinctively bowed his head in greeting.
“Hello.”
“Yes, you’re Semin’s friend, right? Come in.”
She took out a pair of guest slippers and placed them on the floor before going inside. The elderly woman was wearing a white shirt and a black long skirt. She must be a housekeeper. Yooho finally understood what Semin meant by “no one else at home.”
“It’ll take some time to prepare dinner, so play with Semin for a while.”
As he entered the house, passing through the pristine marble entrance hall, he was momentarily speechless. He had expected a nice house, but this was far beyond his expectations. A huge chandelier hung from the ceiling of the living room, which was so high he had to crane his neck to see it. The central staircase leading to the second floor split into two halfway up. It wasn’t exactly modern, but it was elegant and luxurious. It felt like a lavish mansion built long ago and meticulously maintained.
“Have some tea in the living room for now… Why isn’t he coming down? Semin!”
The elderly woman’s demeanor was too professional for a family member, yet too friendly for a housekeeper. At her words, spoken as if urging a grandchild, he finally heard footsteps. Semin, holding onto the railing of the ornate staircase that looked like something out of a drama, gasped as soon as he saw Yooho. His small face was flushed red.
“S-Sir. I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you to arrive so soon, I was in the shower…”
“…There wasn’t any traffic.”
“I-I see. It’s not rush hour.”
Up close, his hair was wet. Yooho was now genuinely curious about this urgent matter.
“Do you want to go up to your room and hang out? I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”
The elderly woman gently suggested, seeing Semin flustered. Semin finally said, “Ah,” and quickly nodded.
“L-let’s go to my room. It’s a bit messy, but…”
A hand reached out and grabbed Yooho’s wrist. He could feel the warmth of Semin’s palm through the thin track jacket. Yooho unconsciously raised an eyebrow.
“Kang Semin, I think you have a fever.”
“I-it’s okay. I took medicine earlier. It’ll go down soon.”
Semin gave a forced smile and pulled on Yooho’s arm again. At this point, it was impossible to refuse. Yooho finally gave in and followed him.
Semin had said his room was messy, but it looked spotless. The interior seemed larger than most entire apartments. On the left were a large bed and a desk, and on the right were a dressing room and a bathroom. As soon as he entered the room, Semin picked up a cardigan hanging from the desk chair and threw it into the dressing room. If he considered that single cardigan hanging there to be messy, Yooho could imagine his standards.
“Here’s your bag.”
“Ah… I’m really sorry. I was so out of it…”
Semin took the bag and apologized repeatedly. A faint scent of shampoo wafted from his bowed head. The skin of his neck, visible beneath the loose neckline of his shirt, was red. Yooho unconsciously placed his hand on Semin’s forehead, which was now close to him.
“…!”
Semin flinched but didn’t pull away. His round, smooth forehead was burning hot.
“Did you go home because you were sick? You should have said so.”
“N-no… This… happened suddenly after I got home…”
Semin’s eyes blinked rapidly as he made excuses. He looked around the room as if he were in an unfamiliar place, then quickly pointed to the desk chair.
“P-please… have a seat. I’m sorry. I don’t have a table for guests in my room…”
“Shouldn’t you dry your hair first?”
“My hair? Ah…”
You shouldn’t walk around with wet hair when you’re not feeling well. At Yooho’s genuinely concerned words, Semin became flustered. It felt awkward to leave Yooho in his room and go into the dressing room to dry his hair. As he hesitated, Yooho seemed to interpret his silence differently and asked cautiously,
“Should I help you?”
“What?”
“Your hair. If your arm hurts too much.”
“…”
His shoulder was completely fine now. The bruised area looked bad, but it didn’t hurt. Yet he couldn’t refuse outright because Yooho’s eyes were so calm and still. Refusing because he sensed some other intention felt like an insult to Yooho’s kindness.
“Do you have a hairdryer?”
Semin nodded instinctively and bit his lower lip hard.
A warm breeze tickled the back of his neck. Yooho had Semin sit on the floor while he sat on the edge of the bed. His large hand moved through Semin’s hair, as if caressing it. Semin clenched his fists, feeling Yooho’s gaze from above. His palms were damp with sweat.
“…Mr. Min,…it is.”
The broken words, barely audible over the sound of the hairdryer, reached Semin’s ears a moment later. What? As he looked back, Yooho, who had turned off the hairdryer for a moment, grinned.
“Kang Semin, you have straight hair.”
“…Ah.”
“It must stick up a lot in the morning.”
“Yes, yes… My hair… sticks up a lot… It’s straight…”
“I know, I have straight hair too. It’s a little better if you shave the sides.”
A firm finger traced the area around Semin’s ear and gently pressed against the side of his head. Then, Yooho’s hand cupped the back of his head, holding it securely. Goosebumps rose on Semin’s cheeks as he imagined the unfamiliar touch.
“All done.”
Yooho’s hand, which had been holding his head, pressed once more before letting go and unplugging the hairdryer. Semin fidgeted with the back of his head, which still felt warm. Then, a voice came closer from behind him.
“Is there anywhere still damp?”
“…No, no. No.”
He quickly placed his hands between his knees. Yooho put the hairdryer and cord on the nightstand and fell silent.
“…”
He realized he had missed the timing to stand up only after the silence had stretched on. Becoming conscious of it made his mouth dry. As he pursed his lips meaninglessly, the back of his neck grew hot. As Semin hunched his shoulders, searching for something to say, Yooho’s usual calm voice gently descended.
“Can I ask what happened today?”
What happened today.
A chill ran down Semin’s spine as he processed the words. He placed both hands on the floor and slowly turned his body. He saw Yooho’s long, toned legs first. His gaze slowly rose, taking in his firm knees and finally reaching Yooho’s shadowed face.
“…Today.”
Semin wasn’t good at remembering people’s faces. He always felt intimidated when making eye contact, regardless of who it was. It was a bad habit ingrained over many years.
However, he could remember and recall Yooho’s face perfectly. He had made eye contact with him countless times through the camera lens and on the monitor. His Western bone structure with prominent brow bones and a high nose bridge, his neat, dark eyebrows and long, distinct eyes, his sharp but firm jawline and well-shaped lips – even without Yooho in front of him, he was confident he could draw him perfectly.
The slightly upturned corners of his mouth gave him a gentle smile even when his face was at rest. When he laughed, his eyes crinkled, and his dimples appeared. Therefore, the Yooho portrayed in the media generally had an earnest, gentle, and kind image. This gentle face combined with his sculpted physique and his prowess as a long-distance swimmer made him even more appealing.
“…”
But now, the living, breathing Yooho in front of him, not on a monitor, radiated a quiet, cold aura. Although his features were exactly the same as Semin remembered, his eyes were unfamiliar.
He had seen those eyes in the studio.
“I… thought you were angry.”
Now that he had calmed down, he understood. It wasn’t anger, but restraint. Semin often misinterpreted others’ rational behavior as silent reproach.
‘If I don’t say it, you don’t know? Do you have no sense?’
Joseph’s voice stabbed at his ears again. The question he hadn’t asked at the time followed: But I really don’t know. How am I supposed to read emotions that aren’t expressed in words?
“Is that why you panicked and went home?”
What should I do to avoid being hated?
“…I’m sorry.”
“I’m not asking for an apology.”
“It’s just, I initially went out just to get some fresh air… but you suddenly spoke to me, so I was surprised… and I just…”
The more he stammered, the more pathetic he felt. How absurd. To be scared and run away because of something so trivial.
“I’m sorry. You must have been baffled…”
He was mortified, but at the same time, he felt relieved. He couldn’t have fooled Yooho for long with his flimsy pretense anyway.
“I don’t usually… do such inconsiderate things… Actually, I didn’t sleep at all last night… So I think I wasn’t in my right mind…”
“You didn’t sleep? Why?”
“W-well, I’m a bit of a night owl… It happens sometimes.”
As soon as I came home, my tension eased, and as my tension eased, my fever rose. While being forced to lie down by Housekeeper Kim, repeatedly falling asleep and waking up, my whole body became drenched in sweat. And amidst all that, the face of Yooho, who had been staring at me incredulously, came to mind…
“I called because I thought I should properly apologize… I completely forgot about taking your bag…”
“…”
“In the end, I made you come all the way here…”
Semin finished his stammering words and let out a long sigh. Yooho, who had been quietly looking down at Semin while sitting comfortably, asked slowly.
“Why did you think I was angry?”
His tone was calm but direct. It seemed impossible to escape with any ordinary pretense. Semin gave up early and answered in a shrinking voice.
“Because I said strange things…?”
“What strange things?”
“…Like saying you would suit the director, things like that…”
“Come to think of it, were you sincere about that?”
Semin closed his mouth. He thought Yooho was an impressive person, but if asked whether he suited him, he didn’t want to say that. As the silence lengthened, Yooho spoke in a much softer voice.
“I’m not angry.”
“…”
“I’m asking because I’m curious. Since you said you’ve been my fan for a long time, I wonder what kind of person you think would suit me…”
When their hesitant gazes met, Yooho crinkled his eyes and smiled.
“If you tell me, I’ll keep it in mind for future reference.”
What kind of person would suit him? Semin recalled the moment he first saw Yoon Doa’s photo. Someone who perfectly matched Hyun Yooho’s ideal type without any additions or subtractions. Someone beautiful, healthy, and with a refreshing smile.
“No one…”
If it was someone like that, they would suit him well. Anyone would see them as a perfect pair. Yoon Doa said she was a relative, but there must be similar people somewhere else, and if Yooho set his mind to it, anyone could…
“…No one suits you.”
The words tumbled out like a stone that had been stuck in his throat, scraping a wound as it fell. Yooho opened one eye slightly wider. Semin pressed the bridge of his nose with the back of his hand, feeling it sting for no reason.
“I hope you don’t… date anyone…”
“‘Practice instead of dating?'”
“…That’s right. You should practice instead…”
As Semin blurted this out in resignation, Yooho burst into low laughter. Chuckling, he placed his hand on Semin’s knee and stood up with an “usha.”
“Is that the backyard visible through this window?”
Semin’s eyes followed Yooho’s steps heading toward the large window on the opposite side of the door, and he nodded instinctively.
“Yes, the backyard…”
“Is that the wall that was in the photo you sent me?” Yooho, who had already reached the window, asked while looking outside. The camera bag bumped against Semin’s toes as he unconsciously tried to follow him. After hesitating a little, he opened the zipper and took out the mirrorless camera that was placed on top.
“Does that cat you photographed back then still come around these days?”
It was the time when the sun had begun to set. Due to the poor air quality, the sunset glow wasn’t visible, but Yooho’s silhouette gradually immersing into the night was clear.
“Yes, occasionally… But there are many cheese tabby cats around here, so I’m not sure if it’s the same one.”
“If you thought it was the same one, it probably is.”
“Y-yeah…”
Even with the window open, the residential area was silently tranquil. Because of this, the sound of the camera turning on and the lens rotating seemed particularly loud. When Yooho, who had been leaning against the windowsill, turned around, their eyes met through the LCD screen.
“Ah.”
Semin stiffened his fingertips in surprise. Yooho, with an expressionless face, raised his right hand and made a V sign.
“…”
Click. As if hypnotized, Semin pressed the shutter, and Yooho immediately lowered his hand and looked outside the window as if nothing had happened. Semin was about to raise the camera once more but instead moved his steps gradually closer. Despite the approaching footsteps, Yooho didn’t turn around again.
“…Sir.”
When Semin called him, Yooho responded with a “Hmm?” but his gaze was still fixed on the distance. At that moment, Semin became unbearably curious.
“What… are you thinking right now?”
A faint smile spread across Yooho’s lips.
“You want to know?”
“I’m asking because I’m curious…”
“I think Kang Semin likes me.”
“…”
“Something like that?”
Semin blinked his eyes slowly. Somehow, it felt like they’d had a similar conversation before. Do you like me that much? He thought it was a rather obvious question.
“…O-of course. I definitely like you, Sir…”
“Not as a fan.”
“…?”
“As a romantic interest… Ah, we’re not of different genders. Anyway, in a different sense than just one human liking another.”
“…”
“I don’t know if you’re failing to notice or if you’re aware and hiding it.”
Finally, their gazes met as Yooho turned his head. Semin’s lips moved without finding any words to say. Not as a fan, in a slightly different sense than one human liking another…
“…What?”
A stupid answer flowed out like deflating air. Yooho made no further comment while maintaining eye contact. Semin’s crumpled fingertips dug into his tightly clenched palm.
“No… no…”
You like me? In a different sense.
“No, I…”
The meaning of his words circled around Semin’s ear very slowly before suddenly penetrating his mind. Asking if the reason he said Yooho didn’t suit anyone was because Semin wanted to be in that position himself?
“I d-d-d-didn’t dare think of s-such things…”
It felt like swallowing lit firewood. The heat that flared up from his solar plexus instantly spread to the tips of his ears. Semin quickly lowered his head to hide his reddened face.
“No. Not with such presumptuous thoughts…”
“No?”
“No, no… no. Absolutely not…”
As Semin stammered through his words, he swallowed a breath. This was because Yooho had bent his upper body to bring his face closer. Although the day was rapidly darkening, it wasn’t dark enough to hide his facial color from just a span away. He turned his head to avoid Yooho’s narrowed eyes.
“Really?”
Then, plop, a large palm touched the top of his head. After broadly covering and lightly stroking it, the hand detached immediately without any hint of regret.
“Then that’s fine.”
“…”
“Sorry.”
The lips that uttered the easy apology were still smiling. Semin stood as if nailed to the spot, listening to the receding footsteps. He couldn’t move at all for fear his heartbeat would be audible.
Don’t think what you say out loud is all there is. Read the intention and act with tact. It’s all being said for your sake…
A crisp voice played in his mind, and Semin pressed down on his thumping chest.
‘I think you like me.’
Though he wore a calm smile, it might have been a warning. A test where there was a correct answer to be quickly given.
‘Then that’s fine.’
Did he pass? It felt like warm water had spread up to his neck. His solar plexus felt crushed. He held his breath, feeling like tears might well up if he let his guard down. The night air that began to surge in felt unusually heavy.