PSY CH 101
by Lulu“Huh?”
“I said, did you fucking say something to Bae Jooyoung?”
“No…”
Dohyun swore under his breath and roughly ran a hand through his hair.
“Don’t make it obvious.”
“…”
“Just pretend like you don’t know.”
Hangyeol blinked a few times before slowly answering.
“I think I already did make it obvious…”
Not only had he ignored Jooyoung and walked past him, but when Jooyoung tried to stop him, he recoiled like he’d been burned. Honestly, even he didn’t understand why he reacted that way.
Even after overhearing their conversation in the alley and learning they were dating, facing Dohyun now was no big deal. But for some reason, looking at Jooyoung was different. It made him feel… weird.
Even he found it puzzling.
Not once had he ever thought Jooyoung might be like that. Sure, he’d sometimes felt like Jooyoung gave off a strange vibe, but he always chalked it up to him being from Seoul. Jooyoung was a pretty unusual type around here.
But just knowing Jooyoung and Dohyun were in that kind of relationship—that alone made him start thinking weird things whenever he saw him. It was just uncomfortable. Confusing.
Most of all, what really bothered him was how he suddenly started being conscious of Jooyoung’s every move. He didn’t know how to act around him anymore. It was driving him nuts.
“You made it obvious?”
Dohyun’s voice dropped noticeably. Hangyeol hurried to offer a jumbled mix of excuses and explanations.
“No, I mean… I just felt kind of weird…”
He told the truth about avoiding Jooyoung and acting awkward. Dohyun fell into silence, his face thoughtful. Even as he flicked away the shortened cigarette and crushed it underfoot, his lips stayed tightly closed.주
“Shit, you could’ve at least told me.”
Hangyeol clutched his head and crouched down. After a while of muttering and grumbling to himself, he finally calmed down enough to speak in a more even voice.한
“But… are you okay?”
Dohyun glanced down at him, pressing the corner of the cigarette pack against his eyebrow.
“I mean, Jooyoung-i hyung is a guy.”
Even though Hangyeol hadn’t meant it as criticism, he winced as if caught red-handed, lips jutting out. Still, he pressed on stubbornly.
“Did you always… like him? Or what?”
“None of your fucking business.”
Dohyun crushed the subtly revealed curiosity without a second thought.
“It is my business, damn it!”
Hangyeol thumped his own chest in frustration.
“If this was always the case, maybe I’d get it. But when I told you to stop messing around with girls, you completely ignored me.”
“…”
“Haah…”
His sigh was heavier than ever. It made everything more complicated that Dohyun—who should’ve been at the center of it—seemed completely unfazed. Maybe he could’ve chalked it up to youthful recklessness, but that night in the alley, Dohyun had looked like he was on the verge of breaking down.
He’d never seen him like that before. Overwhelmed by emotions he couldn’t control… Desperately clinging on, yet clearly ashamed of himself…
“…”
Hangyeol snuck a glance at Dohyun, who was smacking his cigarette pack against his palm with an unreadable expression. The whole sequence—pulling out a cigarette, bringing it to his lips, lighting it—was so natural. Somehow, he didn’t seem rattled at all even after having this kind of socially “unacceptable” relationship exposed.
Did that mean he trusted Hangyeol that much?
Or was it that his relationship with Jooyoung meant so much to him that nothing else mattered?
But Jooyoung…
Hangyeol hesitated, then cautiously opened his mouth.
“But Jooyoung-i hyung—”
Bzzzt. The moment his phone vibrated, Dohyun immediately checked the screen like he’d been waiting for it. When the soft glow of the display lit up his face, Hangyeol couldn’t finish his sentence.
“Yeah.”
He turned his back to Hangyeol and walked a few steps away to take the call.
“I’m outside. No, yeah. Should I come over?”
His voice turned gentle as he spoke to the person on the other end. He rubbed his brow and jaw repeatedly, hands constantly in motion. It was obvious who he was talking to.
“…”
Hangyeol’s expression gradually hardened as he watched.
The Dohyun he knew wasn’t someone who showed unnecessary concern or affection for others. He could laugh and mess around when they hung out, but there was always a sense that he never truly let people in. Hangyeol had gotten used to that, having known him since they were kids, but not everyone felt comfortable around Dohyun.
After the call, Dohyun’s face was completely back to normal. The earlier flicker of emotion was gone—replaced by the usual stoic, indifferent Hwang Dohyun.
Whoosh—wind swept through the corner of the parking lot, rustling the trees. Leaves tinged yellow at the edges fell to the ground like snowflakes. Hangyeol stared blankly at the fluttering leaf, then suddenly spoke.
“Jooyoung-i hyung’s going back to Seoul anyway.”
Anyone who had overheard their conversation in the alley would be able to tell that their relationship, the weight of the feelings they held for each other, wasn’t equal. Above all, Jooyoung was someone who would eventually leave this place. Once all the leaves turning color had fallen, and until the trees bloomed green again, there was no guarantee Jooyoung would still be in Maeyang. He was unmistakably an outsider.
“…”
Dohyun stayed silent, his expression stiff. He knew better than anyone that the time they had left together was short.
“Do I really have to fill in the move-out date?”
“Just put the end of the year or something.”
On Jooyoung’s rental agreement, the expected move-out date was listed as December 31st. It was, of course, only a placeholder, but the fact that Jooyoung would eventually leave Maeyang hadn’t changed.
Dohyun’s gaze shifted to the maple leaves scattered across the parking lot floor in vivid colors. Then, one by one, he looked up at the trees, already starting to bare their branches. It was now the heart of autumn, standing on the cusp of winter. Winter would pass, then spring would come, and after that, summer—the same season Jooyoung had arrived in Maeyang.
Would Jooyoung still be here when that season returned?
“…”
“…”
A heavy silence pressed down on their shoulders. When Dohyun finally spoke, a long time had already passed.
“It’s fine if he leaves.”
That was all he said.
With his phone and cigarette pack in one hand, he turned around first.
“Go home today. Your mom called again.”
Hangyeol’s parents had been calling Dohyun for days, looking for him. The problem was, Dohyun hadn’t been in contact with Hangyeol either. He pretended they were together for the parents’ sake, but the truth was, Hangyeol hadn’t shown up at the arcade or PC café in days—Dohyun had no idea where he was.
As Dohyun walked away, Hangyeol shouted after him.
“I’m saying this because I’m worried about you, Hwangdo!”
“…”
“That time, hyung… hyung is…”
He couldn’t get the expression Dohyun had made while answering Jooyoung’s call out of his head. That was what bothered him. If it were just a fleeting crush, he might have been shocked but wouldn’t have cared this much. But…
He remembered the hollow look Dohyun had after his grandfather’s funeral—like someone who had lost something irreplaceable. The house where the lights never turned off. The long bouts of insomnia.
“…Ha, shit.”
In the end, Hangyeol just messed up his own hair in frustration.
By the time he looked up, Dohyun was already gone.
***
Awakened by the sound of a notification, Jooyoung sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. Because he’d woken up once during the night, his body ached with fatigue. Whenever he slept at Dohyun’s house, he could sleep like the dead, but every time he stayed here, it was like this.
He got up to wash, but paused when a strange sense of discomfort washed over him. Slowly, he looked around the small lodging room.
“…”
His desk—just a laptop, calendar, and phone charger cord—looked exactly the same as it had before he went to bed. And yet… something felt off as if something had been moved.
Could it be that what he thought was a dream wasn’t a dream after all?
The reason he’d woken up in the middle of the night was because he thought he heard the door open. That soft click, followed by a rush of light from the hallway. Of course, when he fully came to, the room had been dark, so he figured he just mistook a dream for reality.
Jooyoung looked around the room again, then let out a soft laugh at himself.
“What the…”
Half-asleep, and now he was imagining weird things. Luckily, a shower helped clear his mind. The fog of sleep lifted completely.
At the pawnshop, he went about his usual day. Time flew by as he helped a few customers.
Right before six, his phone buzzed. Jooyoung thought, of course, it must be Dohyun. But the name on the screen read Big Brother.
The excitement he felt, thinking it might be Dohyun, crashed instantly into the mud. He irritably hit the reject button, but the bad mood didn’t go away.
“…”
In the end, he gave up. He grabbed only his phone and stood up. He needed to see Dohyun. As he rushed out from behind the counter, he bumped right into someone entering the shop. It was Hangyeol.
A completely unannounced visit.
They both stopped a short distance apart.
“…”
An awkward silence fell. He clearly had come for something, but Hangyeol didn’t say what it was.
“What’s up?”
Jooyoung’s indifferent voice cut through the silence. Normally, Hangyeol would’ve been sulky, saying he could come over without a reason, couldn’t he? But this time, he didn’t do that. His usual exaggerated sulkiness was nowhere to be seen. He just stared at Jooyoung with a complicated look in his eyes.
As Jooyoung waited for an answer, he stepped past him and gripped the door frame, gazing directly at him.
“I’m about to close.”
It was his way of saying: If you’ve got something to say, say it now. But Hangyeol stayed silent.
“If not—”
“Is it true you’re dating Hwangdo?”
Hangyeol slowly turned to face him. His eyes locked onto Jooyoung’s in an unusually direct way. There was something sharp in his gaze that wasn’t usually there.
TL’S NOTE:
This story is getting quieter… Are you still reading this? If yes, please leave a comment. ^^