BPDSB Chapter 4: Those Are Pills, Not Candy.

Xu Xiliu steadied the man again, thinking to himself, ‘What kind of nonsense are you up to when you can’t even walk properly, being as sick as you are?’

At this moment, the man fell silent, his head slightly lowered. It was unclear whether he had been too shaken by what just happened or if he still wasn’t quite conscious. Warm breaths landed softly and densely against Xu Xiliu’s neck, making him somewhat uncomfortable. He tilted his head slightly but still fulfilled his duty as a doctor. After some consideration, he softly asked again, “Mr. Qin, where do you want to go? Are you still feeling unwell?”

The dosage of the sedative was based on the standard amount for the protagonist gong’s body. Once absorbed, it would calm a manic mental state, and in most cases, induce sleep.

But now the other party had woken up again. Setting aside the possibility that the unstable external environment had disrupted his sleep, it could only mean that his body was feeling uncomfortable, or that prolonged use had significantly reduced the effectiveness of the sedative.

That was not a good sign.

Xu Xiliu thought this over, waiting for the man’s response, but the other party said nothing, leaning against him. The man’s breathing, growing more and more excessive, tickled to the point that Xu Xiliu very much wanted to cover his mouth with his hand.

Fortunately, the awkward situation didn’t last long. Just as Xu Xiliu asked a second time if the protagonist gong was still feeling any discomfort, the butler, Uncle Zhong, appeared in the nick of time.

“Sir!”

Uncle Zhong had spotted the entangled figures at the doorway from a distance and hurried over, taking Qin Li from Xu Xiliu.

“Sir, why did you come out? If there’s anything, just call for me. In your current condition, you really should be lying down more…” Uncle Zhong spoke anxiously as he looked at Xu Xiliu, unsure why he was there, so he asked, “Dr. Xu, are you here because something happened to the sir again?”

Xu Xiliu smiled lightly and explained, “No, I just left something behind at Mr. Qin’s place and came to retrieve it. I had just arrived at the door when I saw him come out, so I went over to help.”

“I see…”

“Then I’ll have to trouble Dr. Xu to retrieve it yourself. I can’t step away right now,” Uncle Zhong said apologetically.

Supporting a man who was nearly 1.9 meters tall, it was already hard enough for him to stay standing. Xu Xiliu simply nodded and went inside. After all, the door was wide open, the man had been standing right at the entrance, and the interior was in full view. There was no concern about him doing anything suspicious.

It was precisely because Xu Xiliu knew this that he agreed so readily.

Soon, he spotted the phone he had left on the table earlier for convenience, picked it up, and walked back out.

At the same time, the butler had helped the man sit down.

Ever since the man had lashed out at him with those strange and harsh words, he hadn’t spoken again. But upon closer inspection, his lips were pale and a bit dry and peeling. His fingers curled slightly, seemingly as if he were enduring something. Without a system to examine him and with the other party not speaking, Xu Xiliu wasn’t entirely sure about his condition. Still, the protagonist gong only had a few chronic issues: migraines, mental health problems, and stomach troubles.

The butler had mentioned earlier that the man refused to eat, so it was likely that his stomach was acting up again.

In other words, he was probably just hungry.

So Xu Xiliu paused mid-step, and as he passed the butler, he casually mentioned, “Has Mr. Qin eaten today? If not, make him something easy to digest. It’s too late now, so he shouldn’t eat too much. Have him eat something better tomorrow morning.”

“And also, regarding Mr. Qin’s current condition… you’ll need to be a bit more mindful with his diet.”

No matter how skilled a doctor is, if the patient doesn’t take care of their own health, there’s not much that can be done.

All he could do was offer reminders now and then—after all, he wasn’t the protagonist gong’s personal cook.

The butler was momentarily stunned upon hearing this, then promptly agreed.

His expression darkened slightly, as if something had come to mind, but he still politely thanked Xu Xiliu: “Understood. I’ll have the kitchen prepare something right away. Thank you again for today, Dr. Xu. You should go rest.”

If all the previous interactions had been polite but distant, this statement now carried a faint lowering of his guard.

Xu Xiliu picked up on that, but didn’t show it. He simply nodded and left.

He truly was tired, and once he reached his room, he quickly lay down.

Before sleeping, he noticed the gold-rimmed glasses by the bedside. Xu Xiliu paused for a moment, only now realizing that in his rush earlier, he’d forgotten his glasses. But he wasn’t actually nearsighted. He wore glasses because his face was too good-looking, and he worried patients might not trust him because of it. Wearing glasses helped balance things out and drew less attention to his face. Over time, it had simply become a small habit.

He wasn’t sure about the original owner’s situation, but he could tell this body wasn’t nearsighted either. Maybe the reason for wearing glasses was the same as his own—after all, their appearances were exactly the same.

With his thoughts drifting like that, Xu Xiliu gradually fell asleep.

The next day, daylight had already filled the sky.

Declining the butler’s invitation for breakfast, Xu Xiliu left early in the morning.

He hadn’t seen the sickly protagonist gong before leaving, likely because he was still resting. After all, it had been quite a night.

Xu Xiliu himself was still groggy, and all he wanted now was to return to his own place and get some proper rest. Sleeping in someone else’s home never quite felt fully secure, no matter what.

*

After a night of rain, a thin mist rose in the mountains during the morning. The air was refreshingly cool and crisp. As the day brightened, the sun came out, the clouds dispersed, and the remaining raindrops were dried by the warmth of the sun. The mist lifted as well, revealing a vibrant green landscape teeming with life.

But inside the quiet study of the villa, the curtains were tightly drawn, shutting out the intense sunlight outside.

“He came yesterday?”

The man’s voice was hoarse, heavy with gloom.

“Yes. Dr. Xu mentioned a few things to keep in mind. He left this morning,” Uncle Zhong replied, placing the food one by one near Qin Li, and gently urged, “Sir, please try to eat more. These are all good for your stomach. And don’t forget to take your medicine after eating.”

Qin Li was silent for a moment. He didn’t respond to any of that, only said, “You can go.”

He just wanted to be alone.

Butler Uncle Zhong’s gaze showed a trace of worry. His lips moved as if he wanted to speak, but in the end, he swallowed the words he had repeated countless times and left the room.

With the door shut, the slender man curled up in the chair. His eyes were half-closed, brows tightly furrowed, clearly showing how exhausted he was. A sullen, irritable air clung to him. Though he remained motionless, the agitation radiating from within him was almost tangible. Even the servants passing by outside the door involuntarily slowed their steps, afraid that the slightest disturbance would provoke this grim figure.

After waking up, Qin Li had returned to his usual silence.

Unlike the dazed confusion of the previous night, he was now unusually clear-headed. It was the result of the doctor’s visit.

He had a vague impression of that private doctor. Every time he had an episode, the man’s figure would appear like clockwork, then quietly leave after stabilizing his condition, like a cunning fox scavenging in the forest.

Their relationship was supposed to be like that between a sickly tiger struggling to hunt and a fox that took advantage of its weakness to sneak in and steal food. An unspoken understanding, with no real connection. The doctor would either wait until he recovered or went completely insane, then withdraw and seek out the next person to serve. But yesterday, that doctor had unexpectedly said something out of place.

What had he said?

He couldn’t remember.

Only the feeling at the time remained, faintly lingering, enough to make him laugh.

Qin Li sat with his eyes closed, a Bluetooth earpiece glowing in his ear, indicating an active call. On the other end, a subordinate was respectfully reporting the latest updates, seizing every second, speaking in concise and clear language, well aware of his superior’s temper.

Qin Li listened silently, occasionally replying with a word or two. Even the faint sound of his breathing, when it reached the phone, made the person on the other end tense up.

Lately, his mental state had been extremely poor. Most of the time, he was in a daze, his ears filled with noise of all sorts. At first, it was just murmuring voices he couldn’t make out. Later, they gradually turned into more vivid sounds—women screaming, thunder, frenzied rainfall, and furious shouting. At its worst, the noise came with hallucinations. He had no idea what he was doing.

And this empty mountain villa felt like a prison, cut off from the world, locking him here forever. More accurately, ever since he arrived, there hadn’t been a single day when he was completely clear-headed. His chest was constantly filled with a nauseating emotion—disgust toward others, disgust toward himself, mocking his own descent in countless hallucinations.

When he finally managed to become lucid, he would then have to face an even darker reality. He couldn’t even tell which was more painful.

But he was ultimately unwilling to give in. He refused to go along with others’ plans, refused to die here so pathetically.

Amid countless feelings of despair and negativity, he struggled, trying to win himself just a sliver of breathing room.

But sometimes, he couldn’t help but wonder—what was the point of all this effort?

He wanted to drag this damned world down with him into ruin.

The room was completely silent. The call in his earpiece had ended. Everything was operating smoothly. The people he had placed inside Qin Corporation were still maintaining appearances, ensuring he wasn’t completely pushed out.

Yet in Qin Li’s mind, as his thoughts spiraled, those images resurfaced again—the scenes from right before an episode kept replaying in his head, along with even older, more deeply embedded memories of people and events that had long since passed. His breathing grew heavier, his gaze unfocused, and a red tint gradually crept into his eyes.

“Bang!!”

At some point, the cup by his hand had been hurled across the room.

It wasn’t until the cup shattered and fragments scattered far across the floor that he suddenly realized the dark figure that had lunged at him moments ago was nothing more than a hallucination.

Qin Li clutched his head, breathing heavily, forcing himself to calm down.

At that moment, his phone rang, completely out of place. Without even looking, Qin Li hung up immediately.

But the phone kept ringing, refusing to give up. After several consecutive calls, Qin Li, still bearing the headache that hadn’t yet subsided, answered impatiently.

“Who is it?”

“Hello, Mr. Qin. How are you feeling today?”

A warm and pleasant voice came through the receiver, clear and soothing.

Xu Xiliu tilted his head, holding the phone between his shoulder and ear. After adding hot water to his instant noodles, he picked the phone back up and began his routine gentle check-in as a private doctor.

That morning, after returning home from the protagonist gong’s villa, he had gone back to sleep and only woke up in the afternoon. After taking a quick look around his new residence, he remembered his responsibilities, which led to this call.

The original owner’s place was a single-person apartment in the city center. Though it wasn’t large, it was cozy, with a minimalist style that suited Xu Xiliu’s taste quite well. Waking naturally after a full sleep like this felt truly satisfying. After getting up, he was still feeling lazy, and now, surrounded by the rising scent of instant noodles, Xu Xiliu was completely content, his upturned peach blossom eyes narrowing in pleasure.

In order to keep enjoying such carefree days, of course he had to show some proper concern for the boss who paid his salary.

With that thought in mind, Xu Xiliu’s voice grew even gentler, soft to the point of feeling like water.

“Mr. Qin? Mr. Qin?”

“Are you alright?”

“Not dead yet.”

Qin Li gritted his teeth, his voice squeezed out between them, followed by a cold, mocking laugh.

So noisy.

How had he thought this person sounded gentle last night?

It must have been a hallucination.

On the other end, Xu Xiliu heard his tone and the faint sound of heavy breathing over the phone. He blinked, wondering if the protagonist gong was acting up again.

He quickly reminded, “Mr. Qin, have you taken your medicine? You must take it on time. Each bottle is labeled. Just follow the dosage as directed…”

Qin Li’s gaze turned a bit dazed. That persistent voice filled his ears, and he curled his lips in disdain.

As the other had said, he pulled open the drawer and indeed saw a pile of colorful bottles and containers.

Suppressing his irritation, he forced himself to pour out a handful of pills from several bottles, mixed them together, and swallowed them all in one go without even drinking water.

The bitterness that spread as the pills were chewed and swallowed whole gradually cleared Qin Li’s thoughts. He let out a cold laugh. “I took them. Can you shut up now?”

Xu Xiliu heard the crunching sounds on the other end and thought, What a savage, swallowing pills raw like that.

Wait, no. That wasn’t the main point…

That earlier rattling noise was clearly the sound of pills being poured out, followed right after by the crunching.

Judging by how carefree and reckless it sounded, the guy probably hadn’t even counted how many pills he was supposed to take.

Xu Xiliu fell silent for a moment, unwilling to believe it, and asked stiffly, “Mr. Qin… you didn’t just grab a handful and eat them, did you?”

The response from the phone was a gloomy, disdainful laugh.

Xu Xiliu went blank for a second.

Dear lord, those are pills, not candy.

T/N: I feel so bad for Qin Li. It must be scary not being aware of yourself most of the time, but then when I think of what a handful this suicide case is going to be for Dr. Xu I just hahahaha