MIM 92

“It’s been two years since our Ji-won went missing. The police think he’s dead.”

The child perked up his ears at the conversation coming through the door crack while rolling up his sleeves again. The shirt the director had personally helped him put on early this morning was clearly a hand me down, too large in size. No matter how much he pulled at the hem, clothes worn by a much older boy could never fit a six year old, but the child did his best to maintain a neat appearance. He even dusted off his sneakers with his tiny hands.

He wanted to make a good impression. Though he had overheard it by chance, the couple visiting today wanted to adopt a five year old boy. Being the tallest and oldest among the three children, the director had specially dressed him up this morning. He hadn’t drunk his milk served as a snack. He’d heard that drinking milk makes you grow tall quickly. Since learning that growing too tall meant being sent to a care facility without finding a family, he had never touched milk again.

“You must be heartbroken.”

“What can we do? It’s something that we have to overcome. We tried having another child, but it didn’t work out…so we thought adoption would be a good choice. There are so many children growing up without parents. Family should be at least a minimal safety net.”

The child pretended to play with toys in front of the director’s office while carefully observing the visiting couple through the open door crack. The woman had sharp features and short hair, with a bright blue bag on her lap. The man wore round glasses and had light brownish-gray hair with a slim build. They were such a well-matched couple that they could have appeared in the posters and brochures around the orphanage. They held hands tightly throughout their conversation about their missing son.

The child stared at their clasped hands. His mom and dad, who always fought loudly, had never held hands. They weren’t happy because an unwanted child was born, which was the sole reason why they had abandoned him at the orphanage. At least, that was what the child knew.

What would it be like to live with parents who get along? As the child pondered this, the man who had been hunched over raised his head. Upon noticing the child lingering near the director’s office, his eyes opened wide. The child met the man’s brown eyes that looked exactly like his own.

The man stood up and started approaching the child. Was he angry about the eavesdropping? As adults’ gazes gathered on him, the child nervously swallowed. While fidgeting with his toy and pretending to be distracted, the man came right up and crouched in front of him.

“Hello?”

“Hello.”

When the child bowed politely, the man smiled warmly. Perhaps because of his eye color, the man somewhat resembled his father. The child, unconsciously relaxing, picked up the puzzle he had been fiddling with to show the man. Just days ago, he had won his friends’ favor by completing this puzzle that no one else could solve.

“My goodness, did you solve this all by yourself? That’s amazing.”

When the director quickly praised him, the child shyly licked his lips. After gently patting the child’s round head, the man met eyes with the woman. While silent gazes were exchanged, the child flipped over the puzzle and started solving it again from the beginning. Worried they wouldn’t believe him, he was determined to show he could do it by himself.

“How old are you?”

A delicate hand gently landed on the child’s shoulder as he was about to focus on the puzzle. This time it was the woman who spoke. The child hesitated before answering.

“I’m six years old.”

“Really? You’re tall for six. Oh, and you’re so pretty.”

“Thank you.”

“How can he be so pretty? Honey, he has eyes just like yours.”

The woman smiled while gazing into the child’s light brown eyes. Though he thought her gaze seemed somewhat sad, the child didn’t mention it.

“My name is Im Na-young. That gentleman over there is Park Hyun-soo.”

“I’m Do-jin.”

The child politely introduced himself. He used his original given name but without a surname. Since coming to the orphanage, the child had been called ‘Do-jin.’ The man immediately brightened at hearing the name and chimed in.

“Do-jin? How interesting. That’s my cousin’s name.”

“The name can be changed.”

The couple exchanged glances again at this sudden remark. The child had said it, thinking having the same name might be troublesome, but wondered if he had made a mistake after the words left his mouth. The director, watching the couple’s reactions, didn’t look too pleased either. The couple left a brief greeting with the child and returned to the director’s office, saying they wanted to talk for a moment.

Too desperate…Poor thing…Making a hasty decision out of pity would lead to regret…But he’s the same age as Ji-won. Ji-won wanted a younger sibling…No one can replace Ji-won…The whispered voices were broken and barely audible. Worried the child might hear, the director hurriedly followed them in and firmly closed the office door behind him.

Left alone, the child quietly watched the closed door before abandoning the puzzle and going outside. With sleeves hanging down long enough to cover the backs of his hands, he found a spot where he could see the main gate clearly and sat down. Since there weren’t many visitors, he could easily see everyone coming and going from here.

‘Stay here for just five nights, and Daddy and Mommy will come get you soon.’

Though over a hundred nights had passed, the child still remembered those words. Even knowing they would never come, he instinctively looked toward the gate whenever he heard a car. Even on days when no one came or went, he played with pebbles while taking in the lonely sight of the main gate.

A long shadow fell across the child drawing pictures on the gravel. Looking up, he saw the couple standing hand in hand, looking down at him. The woman exhaled deeply with a determined expression and knelt before the child. Firmly holding his small shoulders with both hands, she looked into his eyes and asked kindly.

“Would you like to come with us?”

A large hand stretched out before the child. While tightly gripping the man’s hand until his knuckles showed, the woman offered her remaining hand to the child. After alternately looking at their firmly clasped hands and the one extended to him, the child finally hesitantly reached out. Afraid of being rejected immediately, he first touched just the fingertips, then gathered more courage and held on tightly.

“Yes.”

As soon as the answer fell, the woman pulled the child into a tight embrace. The man also spread his arms wide and hugged them both. In the unfamiliar warmth, the child took a deep breath in and out. His heart suddenly started beating faster, and breathing became slightly uncomfortable, though he didn’t know why.

“Thank you for becoming our family.”

The man with eyes like his father’s whispered to the child. The child held onto the warmth with all the strength in his small hands. Family. His heart pounded irregularly at that word.

⚝⚝⚝

His second name was Ju-won.

Life in the new home was very different from what he had imagined. A spacious house with a yard, and a room full of toys and books. Though it was incomparably more comfortable than the orphanage where he had to share a room with many others, that was all, since both parents worked and he was strictly forbidden from going out alone, the child spent every day alone in the spacious space.

Then, the child discovered a room that was always locked. It was a room with a door lock requiring a password to enter. Though he vaguely guessed what might be inside, it had always been firmly locked whenever he saw it, so the child had never set foot inside.

One day, the child found that mysterious door suddenly wide open. A new employee had left it open for ventilation after cleaning before leaving work. Playing alone in the living room, the child was drawn by curiosity and unknowingly walked toward the open door. A place always closed but visited faithfully by his parents every night. A place where soft conversations sometimes leaked out. A place kept clean despite not being used.

The child carefully entered and examined the room thoroughly. Before his eyes lay a space equipped with everything just like his room, a bed, toys, books, everything. The child stopped in his tracks upon discovering a photo hanging on the wall right at the entrance. In the photo was a happy family smiling with faces more joyful than anyone else’s.