EDR Ch 28

When I was in college, I got my first girlfriend because of my face. She was a Beta I met while filming as a promotional model. We dated to show off each other. She loved the fact that she had such a handsome boyfriend. I liked the fact that I had such a pretty girlfriend. Rather than liking the other person, I loved the image we created when we were together. I think that’s how my relationship with her was. I loved those ordinary moments and the luxurious image. It was an intoxicating relationship that I could enjoy because I was a Beta.

My popularity peaked while modeling for the college’s public relations campaign. Every day, there was a group of people following me to take a liberal arts class and seniors who lined up to buy me food. Thanks to this, my liver’s health was pushed to its limits. I attended a dinner party every evening, vomited every morning, and drank hangover relief soup every lunch.

Kim Joo-young scolded me whenever I came home because the bathroom smelled strongly of alcohol. Kim Joo-young was on the verge of puberty. To avoid the gorilla, I frequently stayed in the club room.

One day, I drank a lot of alcohol and collapsed on the sofa in the club room. I was happy by myself. Then, all of a sudden, Ki-do appeared. He’d been sweating profusely while practicing for a play. It was getting dark. He turned on the fan. Seol Ki-do drank some water while sitting in front of the fan.

“It’s very hot outside, hyung.”

“Did you eat dinner? What would you like to eat?”

“Aren’t you going to drink tonight?”

“If I drink today, I’ll have to go to the hospital.”

“You’re amazing too, hyung.”

Seol Ki-do looked at me and smiled. Handsome. In my opinion, Seol Ki-do is the most handsome person in our school, second to me of course.

“Hyung, are you going to be with me today?”

Ki-do asked in a low voice. I couldn’t read his facial expressions. ‘Why are you asking?’ I wanted to ask Ki-do.

“Are you going to drink?”

“My rut is going to start soon, so I can’t drink alcohol.”

“Oh, is it? But people do not die easily.”

Seol Ki-do is an Alpha. Later, he will meet his Omega and have a fateful love. Beta Kim Joo-hyuk will be a groomsman for the wedding.

I was exceptionally fond of Ki-do at the time. He had a good face, and he was cute when he was a little sketchy, and I was extremely proud of his serious side, which he rarely displayed. Perhaps it was because of the first time I met Ki-do.

I would have liked him even if we couldn’t be friends. I would have liked him a lot. I was certain. Putting aside the issue of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas, I had never considered dating a man. I didn’t want to think about it at all. But if we were dating, I would have liked Seol Ki-do. Regardless of the fact that Ki-do was Alpha and a man. Even now, I like Seol Ki-do, and this would be the same even if we become a couple.

“Ki-do.”

“Yeah.”

“If I…”

I covered my eyes with my arm. My stomach was churning because of the hangover.

We might have ended up differently if I had been braver. I could have started talking to you instead of her right away. I swallowed my words. I was childish and young, and I knew I was handsome. To put it bluntly, I thought it was natural for anyone to fall for my charms. You couldn’t be any different. I’m this handsome.

But you’re an Alpha, right?

I was confident enough to like you, but not confident enough to be liked. Rather than taking a risk, I chose a relationship that I could properly understand. And I was happy. But, on the other hand, it was also painful.

I was young. Thinking of a male Alpha sexually was completely foreign to me. Everything was terrifying, and I felt guilty. There was no shame in expressing one’s emotions. And you also never said anything. We were both too scared.

“I’m going to vomit.”

“Wow, hyung, why are you broadcasting such a thing?”

We ended up drinking that day. After drinking a lot, talking nonsense, and worrying about grades, we crashed on the sofa. I fell asleep while smelled of alcohol, my head pressed against the cushion. A night when cicadas wailed outside the window and an old fan spun. I reached out and grabbed the hand that was resting on the sofa. That’s when I realized it was your hand and you had your gaze fixed on me.

That was the end of that thought.

We never talked about that day.

But I feel like I’m back in those days now. Someone is slowly infiltrating my heart without me realizing it. No way, I’m not going to like it, and it’s the same as it was back then when I was struggling for nothing. I think about it too much and aimlessly seek out a strong person. It’s great to know him. I can only think of one disadvantage. He just so happened to be an Alpha.

It is also difficult to break down the barriers I have built by living as a Beta my entire life and accepting an Alpha or Omega into my life. Nonetheless, I get to support Director Lee, who is selfishly and unwaveringly sincere to me. I always sense a gentle warmth in his gaze, which tells me that I am not a stranger in his world.

Nothing has changed from my college days when I was a timid and private person. However, this time, there’s a person who is persistently stepping over the line. He crosses the line between the world I’ve created and my own. Even when I’m frustrated, it’s so admirable that I don’t care. So I decided to move a little. I think it would be okay to move my firmly grounded feet and cross the line that might not have been such a big deal as I thought. I have faith in Director Lee. Even though I’m a little nervous, this kind person appeared to be willing to hold my hand.

This time, I want to hold out my hand properly. Because I believe that person will grab it.

***

I ran into Director Lee on my way back to the office. His expression is terrible. When Director Lee notices me in front of the building, his expression changes. It’s the same as Director Lee’s morning expression. He changes his expression in an instant, like a Chinese Peking Opera actor. I’m a little happy. I really liked how he suddenly smiled at me.

“Joo-hyuk-ssi!”

“Director Lee.”

“I heard that you had a hard time because of Won. I’m sorry.”

“No, it was a great opportunity. I made up my mind.”

“What?”

“What happened? You don’t look so good.”

“It’s not a big deal. As an Alpha, of course, that’s what we should do.”

“Ah, as an Alpha.”

Director Lee approached me. Director Lee’s body scent flashed past my nose. It’s a nice scent. I’m not a perfumer, so I can’t go into detail, but I will anyway. It’s light and sweet. It has the scent of a department store, but it’s a little warmer. If I had been an Alpha or an Omega, I would have recognized Director Lee’s pheromone. I’m curious what kind of pheromone Director Lee had.

“How is it living as an Alpha?”

“Um, it’s hard. It’s easier than an Omega or a Beta. Everyone likes and respects you more. But they have so many expectations of you. If you lack more than other Alphas, you’ll be ignored, so, um. No. In the end, it’s still life.”

Director Lee rushed through his words. It’s a little disappointing because I don’t think I’ll be able to see Director Lee’s handsome face if I go to the Philippines. Originally, Director Lee was very annoying, but now it’s different. I felt great when I saw Director Lee. It’s nice to see his face brighten just by looking at me. It was worth watching him flutter at the sight of me.

I’m starting to understand Director Lee unintentionally. It’s starting to make sense now. He seems to be trying to stay with me for a little while. That’s possible. That’s possible.

The last time I saw Director Lee, he was handsome even when he ate. Things like that can happen.

His dimples are really pretty. Things like that happen, too. I think his parents passed on good genes.

His hair color is really pretty. His chin is pretty too. His ears look pretty too. His hands are long and his nails are neat. Even his neckband looks handsome.

Maybe I like Director Lee because he is handsome? That’s possible.

He likes me.

Like.

“Director Lee.”

“Yes.”

“I will resign.”

“Yes?”

Director Lee blocked my way.

“Wait a minute, Joo-hyuk-ssi?”

As if caught off guard, Director Lee covers his mouth with his hands. He seems to be worried.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

We are standing in the lobby. The security guard is staring at us. No need for a long story.

“No. I have already decided.”

“Is it because of me? Because I like Joo-hyuk-ssi?”

Director Lee carefully places his hand on my shoulder. And he takes it off in an instant. He looks cautious. Director Lee laughs bitterly.

“I’m not going to bother you anymore. I’ve been so immature. I’m sorry. I…”

“Director Lee.”

“Yes.”

“I will resign.”

“Yes. I see. All right.”

I really like Director Lee’s disappointed expression. Is he releasing pheromones? What kind of pheromone is it? Does it have a scent? How does Director Lee feel right now?

I have to stretch out my hands. I don’t want to hesitate any longer. There has already been enough hesitation.

I don’t know if I’ve become crazy or if I’ve taken drugs. My mouth started to chatter.

“There is a bit of time left.”

I pressed the tiepin of Director Lee. I felt a cold touch. I took a breath.

“Try to seduce me properly.”

“…”

“I’ll go ahead.”

I tapped Director Lee’s shoulder. Director Lee had his mouth open. Cute. I’m crazy. I’m crazy as hell.

“Go for it.”

I walk to the elevator with Director Lee, who is as stiff as a stone, behind me. I look back at Director Lee and he is looking at me blankly. Director Lee’s neck moved. Crazy. He looks cute. I turned around. I must have gone crazy.

I clenched my fist and made a fighting posture and walked again. I looked back again while waiting for the elevator. Director Lee’s face is bright red. Cute. I’m going crazy. So cute. I think I’m going crazy. So cute. I’m really crazy.

Why did I only notice his cuteness now? The realization came to me in an instant. Lee Si-hyun is so cute that I’m going to die. What if I really die?

Ding. The elevator arrived. Director Lee is still staring blankly at me.

“Aren’t you going in the elevator?”

Director Lee comes running in a hurry.

There is a long way to go.