UPLB Ch 30
by soapa“People used to say Juwon could’ve been a child actor. Did you ever do anything like that, Sungbin? You seem like you might have.”
“I don’t have many photos from when I was a kid.”
Choi Sungbin set the apple he’d been handed down. It wasn’t that he had no photos at all. Neglected at home, his grandmother noticed and sent him to kindergarten, where five or six photos were taken. The noonas he lived with also tied his hair up and took some pictures.
The former might still be at home, but the latter were gone. Those people probably forgot he even existed. Like photos deleted with a single button on a phone.
“Ask your mother to show you the albums at home. She probably has them all organized.”
“Dad.”
Yang Juwon called out to his father. Choi Sungbin gave a short laugh.
Honestly, his family was a bit unusual, but he’d lived without any sense of victimhood. Even people who get along well can fall out over money. In contrast, his family, though lacking affection, supported him financially without fail.
Is it wrong to make up for things with money? Why should he act like he’s struggling because of a family he doesn’t even live with?
That’s what he thought. But seeing them talk to him so casually with bright faces made him feel resentful.
Choi Sungbin closed the album.
“I don’t have a mom.”
“Huh?”
“No mom. My stepmom married my dad when I was in high school, so I never saw her when I was young.”
“Sungbin-ah.”
Yang Juwon put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. Choi Sungbin twisted away, shaking off his hand.
I’m not even mad, so why stop me? Damn, it’s annoying.
It was venting, sure. The moment he stepped into this house, a time bomb had been ticking. It just happened to explode when the whole family was together, at the worst possible time.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not something to be sorry about. Single-parent families aren’t a flaw these days.”
He tried to brush off the father’s apology, but it wasn’t easy. His face stiffened. Unable to control his expression, his voice naturally grew sharp.
“But it’s kind of annoying. Why assume everyone has a mom?”
It’s not something to be apologized for. He didn’t care, so why was he getting annoyed?
Would they scold him for being rude? Or would Yang Juwon get mad? Choi Sungbin took a deep breath to calm himself and looked at the family.
“…”
They all looked at him with the same eyes. Having stared at Yang Juwon so much, he knew what those eyes meant.
They were all looking at him like he was pathetic.
This is the worst. Choi Sungbin couldn’t hide his feelings.
“I’m going to the room. Sunbae, keep talking with your family. It’s been a while.”
Damn, why did I do that…
Choi Sungbin pressed his cheek against the desk, staring at the closed door. The desk’s cool surface soothed his flushed cheek.
He knew how pathetic he’d looked. Honestly, wasn’t it just venting?
That’s why he didn’t want to come. Why did he have to see this, expose his flaws like this?
He squirmed in his seat, then banged his forehead on the desk.
It was just pathetic. He’d said his family issues didn’t matter, that he didn’t care. But was that not true?
Why realize this at twenty-two? He’d lived just fine through puberty without a care.
“I want to go home.”
That was the conclusion. He shook his legs. Lying down felt stifling, and standing was too much effort.
Yang Juwon hadn’t come into the room. He wasn’t laughing outside either. It was quiet. That made it worse.
He felt sorry for Yang Juwon’s family, but he wasn’t sure about Yang Juwon himself.
I said I didn’t want to come. Why the hell… Why make me feel inferior and messed up?
He told him to spend time with his family, so was he really not coming in? Leaving me alone?
He wanted Yang Juwon to read his emotions. It was pathetic to still have expectations from someone so clueless.
Knock, knock. The door opened with a knock. Thinking it was Yang Juwon, Choi Sungbin glared at the door with all his might.
The old doorknob creaked loudly as it turned.
“Oh…”
It was Yang Juwon’s father. Choi Sungbin awkwardly sat up. The man was sixty, much older than his own father—closer to his grandmother’s age.
What did he say to someone like that, losing control of his emotions? Choi Sungbin swallowed hard.
The father closed the door behind him.
“Juwon said he’d come, but I thought this was better.”
“…”
“I want to apologize for my earlier mistake, Sungbin. I was thoughtless.”
The apology made him feel like he was actually hurt. Choi Sungbin shook his head.
“No, it’s fine. Really, I don’t care. I just didn’t know how to react. You didn’t do anything wrong, mister.”
“…”
“I shouldn’t have acted like that. I’m sorry. I wanted to apologize.”
Anger feels like exposing a lack. Unable to have something, he couldn’t hold back. Unable to control it, it burst out.
“I thought about it outside, and you’re right, Sungbin. I spoke too much from my perspective. I’ve probably hurt people without realizing it.”
Is that what being an adult is? Then is there no adult in my family? If it were me, I’d have yelled at a brat for being rude. But he reflected and came to a conclusion.
I’ll never be that kind of adult. His heart cooled.
Choi Sungbin didn’t say a word. No matter what he said, he felt lacking and pathetic.
“I’m sorry.”
Choi Sungbin apologized again, sincerely.
To a man nearly twenty years older than his father, for being rude just because he was in a bad mood, for ruining the mood among a family reunited after so long.
He should apologize to Yang Juwon too.
The father slowly raised the corners of his mouth.
“I had a thought—want to hear it?”
“…”
“Everyone has different traits. But I feel a bit relieved because of you, Sungbin.”
“…What do you mean?”
“Juwon’s not talkative and has always quietly endured things since he was young. I worried he’d bottle things up living alone, but knowing he has a friend like you who speaks their mind makes me feel at ease. I don’t mean to burden you.”
Why did this remind him of when he first met Yang Juwon? Maybe he didn’t even treat him like a person. Just someone convenient and easy to use.
Because he wasn’t bothersome. Because he was always calmly there.
The time Yang Juwon spent enduring alone felt painful. Choi Sungbin frowned.
All sorts of negative emotions tangled up. He felt sorry for the family and for Yang Juwon. But it also felt awful, hateful, and annoying. It was like a giant mirror appeared in his mind. Standing before it, he was a naked human—ashamed and humiliated.
I shouldn’t have come. No matter how he thought about it, he shouldn’t have stepped into this house.
“Come back with Juwon often. I’m glad to know you, Sungbin. Got it?”
Would he have said this if Choi Sungbin hadn’t mentioned not having a mom? He lowered his head.
“Yes.”
He answered in a small voice. Unlike his own regret, this family only hurt him.
Their casual assumptions, their so-called kind words, every phrase that made him dwell on the past.
After the man left, Choi Sungbin sat blankly. Was it all karma? Had he ever lived reflecting like this?
But why now, at Yang Juwon’s family home?
Some time later, Yang Juwon entered the room. He smelled of the outside, of grass from the yard.
Choi Sungbin cautiously asked.
“Where were you?”
“In the yard.”
“Oh.”
His voice was colder than usual. Realizing it, his heart sank.
It felt like a cup filled to the brim with water, ready to spill with the slightest movement.
Choi Sungbin hesitated, then spoke.
“Sunbae.”
“Yeah.”
“I apologized to your father.”
“Oh…”
Yang Juwon nodded slowly. Choi Sungbin kept catching himself watching him. It had been like that lately, constantly.
“…And?”
“Huh?”
“I don’t know what you want me to do.”
Do I have to be the only one humbling myself?
He didn’t think he was entirely wrong. At least not in this situation.
You could’ve covered for me.
You could’ve said we wouldn’t stay.
I’m in this house because of you, seeing things I didn’t want to, getting caught up in this mess.
Choi Sungbin bit his lips hard.
“…Don’t you have something to say to me too, sunbae?”
“I don’t want to fight.”
“Then stop making that face and talk.”
Yang Juwon stared at his face for a moment.
“You.”
“…”
“Do you think you can act like that with my parents just because I’m easygoing with you?”
“What…”
“Then you’re wrong. What kind of person would watch someone be rude to their parents?”
Choi Sungbin was at a loss for words. He was starting to understand why he didn’t want Yang Juwon with his family. He’d been afraid of being pushed aside like this. The fact that he had no one on his side in this space made it hard to breathe.
Yang Juwon let out a low sigh before asking.
“Do you dislike me that much?”
“…”
“It feels like everything bothers you. I don’t think you hate me, but every time you talk like this, it’s so hard. Today, honestly, I’m just baffled. What do I need to do for you to be okay?”
“What are you talking about?”
His trembling eyes couldn’t hold back, so he squeezed them shut, then opened them.
“What do I need to do to make you okay? You know you’re the one struggling most right now. So why drag others into it…”
“So speak clearly.”
“Want me to be honest?”
“Yes.”
“You’re like a cracked flower vase. To keep the flowers alive, you need to fill it with water, but it all leaks out through the cracks, so it can’t be filled.”
“…”
“And everything around it gets wet, soaked. But you have to keep filling it. Do you get what I’m saying?”
Since when did he see him like that? He could guess. About two weeks ago, around his father’s birthday when he didn’t go. Since then, Yang Juwon occasionally looked at him like this.
Annoying and bothersome, but unavoidable.
Am I an idiot? To not notice that? But hearing it out loud made him ashamed. It confirmed his existence.
At the same time, he was angry. Cracked? Who made me like this? He was the one who shook up someone living just fine, and now he’s saying I’m not normal.
If you think about it, you’re the crazy one.
Who chased me like a stalker, saying you liked me?
Why act like you’d accept everything?
“Then who do you think threw a rock at it?”
“…”
“You’re saying I’m desperate for affection. That I can’t even accept kindness and just lash out.”
“I didn’t say it like that.”
“But that’s what you mean. Anyone can see that’s what you’re saying.”
His words ended with a laugh. That’s it, right? Does saying it indirectly make it untrue?
“You’re the one who sees me closest, sunbae. If you think that, it must be true. Yeah, I’m that kind of guy. Did I always live wrong? Is that why I kept switching girls to feel some warmth? What do you think, sunbae?”
“…”
“Sometimes I think things were better back then. It’s hard because of you. Wasting emotions on pointless fights is exhausting for me too. You know I’m struggling, right? Do you know who’s to blame?”
“…”
“You know, you jerk.”
At least Yang Juwon shouldn’t say things like that. Talking about being unable to fill or being cracked—he shouldn’t be the one saying it.
Not a single moment in this house was enjoyable.
Watching his mood, getting upset, forcing smiles… There were endless moments he wanted to bolt out.
I told you I didn’t want to come.
“Did you just say things were better back then?”
Choi Sungbin steeled his pride at the question.
“Yes.”
Honestly, he felt like he’d cry if he opened his mouth. He was barely holding it in. His eyes kept welling up, forcing him to blink repeatedly.
Why did he have to struggle because of this worthless guy?
It was clear now. He was the one who loved more. Worrying constantly, getting angry, and annoyed—it was all because he cared more.
If you don’t care, you don’t even feel emotions. He knew that best, so it hurt more. Even now, he craved Yang Juwon’s attention.
Please notice how I feel. I’m struggling.
“Ha…”
Yang Juwon sighed and nodded. He looked just as annoyed. Biting his lower lip, he was trying to calm his anger.
Choi Sungbin took it all in. He really meant to apologize this time. Like he did to Yang Juwon’s father, he wanted to apologize to him.
But his dismissive reaction was disconcerting. Even if Choi Sungbin was rude, couldn’t he at least consider how hard it was for him here?
If that’s too hard, couldn’t he at least give him a chance to speak?
He wasn’t usually rude to adults. He could wear a mask if needed. But this time, he couldn’t.
Even he couldn’t control himself, so what was he supposed to do?
“Alright. I get it.”
“What?”
“I get what you said.”
“So what do you mean?”
“You regret meeting me.”
“Why do you…”
Say it so casually? Why don’t you show any expression? You chased me saying you liked me, but now that I’m anxious, why act like I’m a bother?
Choi Sungbin wanted to pour it all out but clamped his mouth shut. He heard movement outside. He couldn’t raise his voice.
“I want to go home.”
He didn’t even want to fight here. With parents in the master bedroom and a sister in the house, how could he?
“Pack your stuff. I’m going home.”
There wasn’t much to pack. He came unexpectedly, so he just needed to change. Yang Juwon’s loose clothes fit, but if they hadn’t, he’d have left already.
While struggling to change his shirt, he glanced over. Yang Juwon, who should’ve been busy packing, was sitting on the bed.
“What are you doing?”
“If you’re going, go alone. I’m staying.”
“You’re telling me to go home alone?”
“Yeah. How can we leave together now?”
“…”
Choi Sungbin felt so hurt his body trembled. At least Yang Juwon shouldn’t act like this. Tears kept welling up, and he furrowed his brow.
It was unfair and painful. He knew he was wrong, but Yang Juwon’s coldness swept him away emotionally.
I can’t even say let’s break up anymore. I don’t know how to hold onto Yang Juwon.
His lips trembled, and the corners of his mouth turned down. Choi Sungbin barely held his emotions in check. He didn’t say a word. Silently, he changed his clothes and gathered his belongings.
“Open the parking lot gate.”
“It’s not locked after the car came in. You can just go.”
Yang Juwon spoke without looking at him. Choi Sungbin clenched his fist with a trembling hand.
“Sunbae, are you really going to treat me like this?”
“…”
“Fine. I’m leaving.”
What’s the point of talking to a man who won’t respond? He fled the room as if escaping. Yang Juwon, you jerk. You absolute bastard. You’re not even going to stop me? Cursing under his breath, he stepped into the living room.
He closed the door to the man’s room. Thud. He stood still, looking around the house.
“…”
The living room lights were off. Faint light seeped from under the doors. The faint sound of a television came from the master bedroom. The peculiar, heavy smell unique to every house lingered oppressively.
Rustle. He turned at the sound.
Yang Juwon’s sister stood in the kitchen with a surprised look, holding a bag of snacks. That must’ve been the noise from outside.
Choi Sungbin pressed his lips together to stop them from trembling.
“I’m sorry for being rude to your father earlier. I ruined the mood when you were all together after so long. Please tell your mother I’m sorry too.”
His voice was wet, mumbling. His sister let out an “Oh…” but showed no real reaction.
📝
Left alone, Yang Juwon sighed only after hearing the front door close.
“Ha.”
Was this even right? If he could turn back time. If he had soothed and convinced Choi Sungbin to stay home. Or at least gone back home after dinner.
It was already done, so regretting it now was pointless.
Even if he had, he wouldn’t have left Choi Sungbin behind. The guy was already sensitive, and no amount of coaxing would’ve worked.
Knock, knock. Yang Juwon didn’t respond to the knock.
“Oppa, can I come in?”
“Yeah.”
At his short reply, the door opened. Creak—. The doorknob screeched as if it would break. Soon, Sowon appeared.
She must’ve needed a snack. Did she hear everything outside?
“Did Sungbin oppa go home?”
“Yeah.”
“…Did you two fight?”
Yang Juwon couldn’t answer. He felt he’d shown something embarrassing in front of his much younger sister. It was a fight, wasn’t it? He thought Choi Sungbin must’ve felt hurt.
His eyes brimming with tears, holding back with effort—it was pitiful even to Yang Juwon. Honestly, it was so heart-wrenching he wanted to give up.
“Did you run into him?”
“Yeah. He apologized before leaving.”
“…”
He should’ve calmed himself more in the yard before coming in. But everything he said to Choi Sungbin was sincere. Who would tolerate someone being rude to their parents?
And seeing Choi Sungbin say he apologized to his father made him a bit angry, honestly.
If he hadn’t brought Choi Sungbin, or if he hadn’t come at all, his father wouldn’t have had to hear that.
His father was an ordinary middle-aged man. He hadn’t seen much of the world but wasn’t a bad person. Didn’t he send Yang Juwon out to apologize personally after Choi Sungbin went to the room?
Yang Juwon leaned his head back and closed his eyes. It was frustrating, and everything just annoyed him.
He’d touched the man’s trauma. Talking about vases or whatever—he understood it all. It was clearly his mistake.
But there was no other way to explain it. He knew Choi Sungbin’s family history. He didn’t mind him being mean to him. But involving his parents was too much.
Ugh, I’m tired. He suddenly felt exhausted.
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Go to bed, Sowon. You ate dinner. Don’t eat snacks.”
Thinking of Choi Sungbin driving a long distance made him feel bad. But he couldn’t tell him to come back. For some reason, seeing him felt hard.
He headed home only the next afternoon. In the meantime, he hadn’t contacted Choi Sungbin. It had been a while since they’d gone this long without talking or being apart.
It was probably good he was with family. If he’d been alone, he might’ve been consumed by thoughts. Even without much conversation, just being in the same space brought some comfort.
Choi Sungbin probably didn’t have anyone like that.
He thought he understood why Choi Sungbin was so attached to him. He sort of got it… but it wasn’t a reason to tolerate it.
‘Share it with Sungbin, okay?’
‘Bring Sungbin next time you come.’
His mom would be worried. Leaving suddenly in the middle of the night saying he had work. Still, he was going home alone, so why pack all these side dishes…
He ended up at Choi Sungbin’s place. Honestly, he was worried, and they hadn’t finished talking.
Maybe he’d never understand him. Or, as Choi Sungbin said, maybe it was his own shortcomings.
Back home, he put all the side dishes his mother packed into the fridge.
It was hard to look around the house. The curtains were all down. Despite it being midday, except for a few rays of light seeping through, it was just darkness.
Yang Juwon adjusted the curtains instead of turning on the light. At least the living room could get some sunlight.
Only then could he look around. Through the transparent sliding door, he saw Choi Sungbin. He was sprawled on the bed.
A bottle of soju sat alone on the sofa table, only half-drunk.
Did he drink and pass out?
Yang Juwon approached him. Choi Sungbin hadn’t even changed out of yesterday’s clothes, lying face-down on the bed.
Choi Sungbin had lived without caring much about others’ opinions. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have dated multiple people in their department or even Yeongnan, who had a boyfriend.
And that’s not all. Yang Juwon didn’t even know how many people he’d been involved with.
So why was he like this now?
He decided not to question it anymore. He wouldn’t understand. And Choi Sungbin would probably push him harder for it.
Even living in the same time, they’d walked parallel lines. If not for Yeongnan, he wouldn’t even know this man existed.
In the end, Choi Sungbin was a stranger. Someone he couldn’t understand.
“Choi Sungbin.”
Yang Juwon shook him awake.
“Choi Sungbin, get up.”
Finally, Choi Sungbin stirred, frowning under the blanket. He must’ve been worn out from drinking, which he rarely did.
“Mm…”
Mumbling incoherently, he shook his head, then froze.
“…”
He tilted his head back, assessing the situation. His eyes darted around. Sulky and fierce, but subdued. It was unmistakable.
Yang Juwon touched his shoulder.
“Shower and come out.”
While Choi Sungbin showered, Yang Juwon prepared food. He transferred his mother’s side dishes to plates. He thought about heating the braised ribs but decided to microwave rice for now to feed him quickly.
Even with small portions, a neat meal was set.
Fresh from the shower, wearing a thin long-sleeve shirt and pants, Choi Sungbin came out looking tired.
“Sit.”
Yang Juwon pulled out a chair. Choi Sungbin hesitated but didn’t sit.
“What about your food, sunbae?”
“I ate at home.”
“…I don’t want to eat.”
What kind of stubbornness was this? Normally, he might’ve let it go, but given the situation, he wasn’t in the mood.
He planned to talk after getting him to eat. But Choi Sungbin still looked upset.
People often called him calm. Said he brushed off things easily. Some found him frustrating, but he’d lived without major issues with others.
Maybe that wasn’t calmness but avoiding problems.
This time, he didn’t want to avoid it.
“You don’t want to eat because I’m here?”
“Why do you twist my words?”
“Then just say it’s not.”
“You must be tired of me now, sunbae.”
Choi Sungbin gripped the chair’s backrest tightly. Their eyes met briefly, but he looked away.
“It’s not that. I wanted to talk about yesterday after you ate. But if you don’t want to eat, what can I do?”
“Don’t act all nice. You don’t even want to see me eat, do you? You’re still annoyed about yesterday, right? You’re not sorry for sending me off alone last night? What if I’d fallen asleep? Wanted me to crash?”
“Please don’t go to extremes.”
Their voices were laced with emotion, heavy with negativity.
“I had every right to be mad yesterday. You know that.”
“You think you held back yesterday, sunbae? No. I was the only one uncomfortable. They’re your family. I don’t know them. You think it’s easy to play along, smile, and react? But you were so mad just because I said something to your father? So you attacked me, digging into me?”
The fight began.
“I said I’d go alone. You insisted on driving me. You think I was at ease? You were annoyed the whole way. And you didn’t play along or smile. You barely said a word.”
“You’re the one who said to go inside, sunbae. Even when your mom said that, you could’ve handled it. And you knew I was uncomfortable? Then why ask to stay?”
Yang Juwon pursed his lips. Choi Sungbin continued, words pouring out.
“I didn’t say I wanted to go. I said I’d just drive you. I didn’t want to meet your family. It was suffocating. But I held it in. I was disgusted and wanted to go home so badly, but I stayed for you. I remembered not letting you go to my place, so I held back thinking of that. How did it feel seeing my happy family? Did it feel good?”
“You just said disgusting?”
“Don’t nitpick. I’m saying I held back for you. I told you about my family. First time I told you. But what did you show me there? That you’re happy? That I don’t have a family like that? What am I supposed to feel? That I want to be part of your family? What do you want me to do, damn it… And then you got mad just because I said something to your father. You were the only one I had in that house.”
The man’s breathing grew heavy. Yang Juwon had no words. He couldn’t soothe his outpouring of anger.
“At least in that house, I shouldn’t have done that, right? I even said I apologized to your father. You said, you shouldn’t do that, you…”
“Alright. I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
All he could do was apologize to the man pouring out his emotions like he’d cry.
He shouldn’t have brought him. They’d never meet again, and he wouldn’t let them. The vase comment was his fault. That’s when Choi Sungbin started getting hurt. He didn’t know family meant so much to him. He always acted like it was no big deal.
Of course, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. Apologize. It was better to apologize than push each other emotionally, as always.
“I’m sorry.”
“Again!”
Yang Juwon’s eyes widened at the sudden shout.
“Why do you look at me like that?”
“…”
“You think I don’t know?”
“…”
“Why the hell do you look at me like that and make a fuss?”
He stood frozen, unable to blink. He’d never seen this face on Choi Sungbin. Something was wrong.
The man’s eyes were red, his facial muscles twitching. His eyes quivered, lips pursed, then bitten hard. He was holding back tears.
Breathing heavily, he forced out a voice filled with pain.
“Do you know how you’ve been looking at me lately, sunbae?”
Finally, tears he couldn’t hold back streaked down his cheeks.
“Ugh, annoying. Ugh, bothersome. Ugh, here we go again. Then, poor guy, I should let it slide. It’s all over your face. You think I didn’t notice?”
“…”
Yang Juwon forgot to breathe for a moment. He was at a loss for words before the man’s outpouring. Staring blankly, he shook his head a beat late.
“That’s not true.”
Honestly, soothing Choi Sungbin was the priority. He didn’t want to fight, and any will to do so vanished. How could he keep fighting when the guy was crying with red eyes?
Just soothe him. Say sorry like usual, listen to his whining…
He paused. Did he feel it was bothersome? Was that why he tried to fix it with an apology?
Choi Sungbin, tears falling, pressed on.
“Put your hand on your heart and say you never felt that way.”
“…”
“The vase thing was just anger talking? You never thought that way before?”
His breathing turned to sobs. Yang Juwon couldn’t say anything.
He’d forgotten how perceptive Choi Sungbin was. He was right. He’d thought that way.
Watching Choi Sungbin crave affection in his own way was overwhelming.
Was it wrong to want a normal relationship? Sometimes, he felt like Choi Sungbin wanted salvation from him.
But he was just an ordinary person. Not a savior or messiah.
“If you’re going to hide it, hide it better. I can see everything.”
“…I’m sorry.”
This time, he meant it. Unlike earlier, when he apologized to smooth things over.
He still liked Choi Sungbin. It was hard at times, but the good moments outweighed them. Eating together, talking before bed, evening walks—those small moments brought happiness. But now, it felt like they’d crossed a river they couldn’t return from.
He’d noticed Choi Sungbin staring at him a lot lately. Now he understood why. Choi Sungbin read not just expressions and voices but the air itself.
Choi Sungbin saw through the apology. His tear-streaked face twisted into a frown.
“…It’s true.”
His hands, gripping the chair, trembled uncontrollably. Just standing seemed to take effort.
He collapsed to the floor, sobbing. His shoulders shook, breaths short, pouring out his tears. The sound of his crying filled the room.
It was suffocating. Yang Juwon knew he should say stop crying, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, but the words wouldn’t come.
His eyes shook with shock.
“Then, damn it… why didn’t you just leave me alone…”
“…”
“Why mess with someone who was fine and make them like this… Making me a fool…”
He couldn’t finish, crying like a child. His breaths came in short gasps, like retching. Sobs echoed through the room.
Yang Juwon stood blankly, watching. He was shocked to see someone cry this intensely.
And he realized. He was the one who threw the stone at Choi Sungbin.
And he couldn’t fill the cracks.
Their lives were too different. He wouldn’t understand, and it would lead to ruin.
They were already exhausted, and the future was clear.
He was the one who broke Choi Sungbin. They shouldn’t have met. He should’ve just lived as he was.
Yang Juwon spoke in a weak voice.
“Sungbin-ah, let’s stop.”
Choi Sungbin looked up with wet eyes. His breaths still carried sobs. His face was soaked, cheeks flushed, lips glistening. Tears clung to his eyelashes, falling with each blink.
“…What?”
Yang Juwon continued.
“I think we should stop. It’ll only get harder. This is where we end.”
“Stop, I’ll stop crying.”
Choi Sungbin rubbed his eyes hard. They turned red. He wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand, but the tears kept flowing.
He chewed his lips, wiping his eyes repeatedly. It wasn’t wiping tears—it was like self-harm.
Watching it was painful.
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Then what do you mean?”
“Let’s break up.”
He’d seen Yeongnan struggle because of Choi Sungbin. She had hopes and was disappointed by reality. He remembered her pain. And he felt the same.
The library where they first talked, the campus garden and department building where they’d met, carrying a drunk Choi Sungbin to a motel… He was there even in moments Choi Sungbin didn’t remember.
Not every moment was happy.