SSL 4

“Okay.”

“Alright. See you then.”

“Do the other kids know?”

Doyoon suddenly asked, as if letting out a breath.

“Huh?”

“That you agreed to teach me. Do the other kids know? Or just the teacher?”

“Ah, for now, only the homeroom teacher knows.”

“Then keep it that way. As a secret. Just between us.”

“Got it. I’m more comfortable with that, too.”

Jaehyun nodded. It was what he had expected. If other kids found out that he had started talking to Doyoon, they might slowly start approaching him again, which would be annoying for Doyoon. After getting the answer, Doyoon silently bowed his head again. He pushed the notebook to the corner and picked up his pencil over the workbook.

A breeze seeped in through the crack in the window. Doyoon’s bangs fluttered. Shiny black hair, like a black cat’s fur, scattered unevenly across his forehead as if he had cut it himself.

Looking down at that shape, Jaehyun turned his back and left the classroom. A smile played on his lips as he went down the stairs to the cafeteria. A strange sense of accomplishment.

It was a feeling similar to when a stray cat that used to run away at the mere sight of him finally sniffed his fingers. Ever since he was young, Jaehyun had been good at that sort of thing. Taming wary animals. Though he always ended it by maintaining a suitable distance, because if he tamed them too much, he would have to take responsibility.

Juhwan’s group was no longer in the cafeteria. When he checked his phone, only a text message saying ‘Going to the school store’ remained. Spotting another group of kids he knew, he joined them for lunch, and in his head, Jaehyun was already planning the Saturday study session. He should probably start with math.

Doyoon’s midterm math score was a 37. It was significantly lower than his other subjects. It was a score that could be seen as lacking from the very basics.

I should test him on problems from middle school math. While turning over the thought in his spare moments until the end of the school day, Jaehyun created a plan in his head, and as soon as he got home, he started looking for his old workbooks.

“Come in.”

Two days later, on Saturday, Jaehyun guided Doyoon to unit 315 of a 10-story studio apartment building.

Doyoon quietly untied his shoelaces at the entrance and came up into the living room. To the right was a space used as a kitchen, and in the front was a living room with a large window leading to a balcony. Opposite the kitchen, there were two doors. The one by the window was his sister’s room, and the one by the entrance was Jaehyun’s room.

Jaehyun gestured towards the dining table placed horizontally towards the kitchen. With his sister not there, there was no reason to go into a small room. He had already taken out the workbooks and textbooks and finished setting up.

“Wash your hands and come sit. We’ll start with a skills test.”

As he spoke, Jaehyun noticed Doyoon staring intently at one side of the living room. Books?

He’s probably looking at the bookshelf. Kids who came over to Jaehyun’s house were surprised by the height and number of bookshelves. In the living room, books written in German and English were mixed in with Korean books. Some of them his mother had taken to America, but most remained, occupying both walls of the living room.

There were mainly art-related books. Because his sister enjoyed them. Catalogs, art books, art history, and so on. In addition, they bought more every year in Korea, so the bookshelves grew taller and more packed with each passing year. Jaehyun had contributed almost nothing. He only occasionally pulled one out to read.

Doyoon’s eyes were indeed directed towards the bookshelf at first. But they quickly moved on nonchalantly and settled on a deep corner by the window, not moving for a while. The keyboard.

He was staring at the wide keyboard with headphones attached. Does he know how to play?

“Do you know how to play the keyb—”

“Yeah.”

However, Doyoon, as if suddenly snapping to his senses, belatedly blurted out and turned his back.

After staring blankly at the sight, it was only when he saw Doyoon find and enter the bathroom next to the entrance that Jaehyun realized. He just now answered my ‘wash your hands and come.’

Since they had met at the bus stop, Doyoon had been mostly silent. He would move his head or utter a short ‘yeah’ or ‘uh,’ and even then, he did not react in time but was always a beat late. In the middle of an alley, he had also stumbled as if he would fall over on his own where there was nothing. While enveloped in the shadow cast by a certain ocher-colored villa.

Thinking that his speech and actions were also clumsy, just like his problem-solving, Jaehyun had Doyoon sit across from him at the dining table when he returned and handed him the middle school math problems he had printed out beforehand. After setting a timer for 20 minutes.

Doyoon began to solve the problems. Watching him, the memory that had been flickering in his mind took shape. He wasn’t wrong.

During class, Kang Doyoon wasn’t wrong.

Only then did Jaehyun remember properly. During math class, Doyoon’s number had been called, and he had gone to the front and written the correct answer to the problem on the blackboard. He got an earful from the teacher for not writing out the process at all, but the answer was correct. It was not even an easy problem.

This was before the midterms. That was why, until then, the kids had still thought Doyoon was good at studying. After 7 minutes, Doyoon placed his pencil down on the desk.

It was a set of practice problems with a 20-minute time limit, but he solved it in 7 minutes. Even without grading it, Jaehyun knew the result. Because he had been watching the whole time. Only one open-ended question was wrong, and that seemed to be a calculation mistake.

“Ah, this one… I think it’s a calculation mistake. Didn’t you subtract the constant here? You should have added it.”

“…”

“Let’s try the high school ones, too.”

Jaehyun held out a new set of problems. This time, Doyoon put his pencil down in 6 minutes and 21 seconds.

Jaehyun let out a sigh. He knew that he himself could not possibly solve them at that speed. It was even more impossible to solve them with mental math alone. He would have had no choice but to leave his work on the practice sheet provided, but Doyoon wrote down only the answers without any trace.

“Kang Doyoon. You are good at math… No, except for the minor mistakes, it seems like you’re fundamentally very good. Why did you do that on the midterms?”

“…”

“Explain it to me. I need to know so I can make a new study plan tailored to you. I had a plan made according to your midterm scores, but it’s completely messed up now.”

“…It’s just, it happens sometimes.”

“How were you in middle school? Tell me your school rank for math in the second semester finals of your 3rd year and the mock exam this March.”

“2nd, 4th.”

Jaehyun put a hand to his forehead. How can this be?

There were kids who were good at only one subject sometimes, but still. He had thought it was strange that his science score, which included physics, was an 83 when his math was a 37. Did he have a stomachache or something during the math exam? He was so curious it was killing him. On the other hand, he found himself laughing.

“You don’t need to study math with me. No, I think I need to learn from you.”

“…”

“For now, let’s test your other subjects, too.”

Jaehyun handed him the Korean, English, and social studies problem sheets. Doyoon used up the full 20 minutes allotted for each, solving them while squinting his eyes or occasionally biting his lower lip.

So he is a kid who’s only good at math. Jaehyun thought as he graded them. The other subjects generally got scores similar to his midterms. While the math problem sheet was clean, these problem sheets were messy with strange underlines and notes. Especially the Korean and English ones.

When he asked about his 3rd-year middle school grades, he was surprised to learn that both subjects barely surpassed 40 points. That meant his 60-something scores on the 1st-year high school midterms were not bad scores for his effort, but rather, a huge improvement. A sense of pity made his voice naturally soften.

“It seems like you have some difficulty understanding the passages themselves. It would be good to narrow down the scope from the outside in. First, grasp the question types, then analyze the options, and then look at the passage. By the way, do you not go to a private academy?”

“I don’t.”

“If it’s not working out on your own, a private academy or tutoring is also a good… ah.”

Jaehyun trailed off. He thought maybe he had spoken out of turn. Doyoon did not have a phone, the bag he brought today was the same as his school bag, and the hoodie was the same black one he always wore at school. It might not be that he did not want to go to an academy, but that he could not.

Searching his mind for a way to change the subject, Jaehyun saw Doyoon’s gaze slide away. It passed by Jaehyun’s ear and headed for a corner of the living room. As expected.

He was looking at the keyboard again. Just then, something he had read in a book flashed in his mind, and Jaehyun blurted it out.

“They say kids who are good at math are also good at playing the piano.”

“…?”

“You’ve been staring at that, the keyboard, for a while now. By any chance, do you know how to play? Have you ever learned piano?”

“…In elementary school.”

“I see. I did it for quite a long time, too. So how far did you get? Beyer, Czerny, or have you played pieces, too?”

“…”

“Then are you going to play the piano for next week’s music performance evaluation, too?”

Doyoon looked at Jaehyun with a frown. Jaehyun swallowed. He knew he was talking too much.

But he was interested. He found it a bit ridiculous himself that his attitude had changed so much over something like a math problem, but he could not help it. He was reminded of ‘Rain Man,’ which he had watched with his sister. A movie about a person who had a genetic disorder and acted strangely but had an incredible memory and calculation ability. The contents of other similar books also kept stirring in his mind.

And the contents of those books kept trying to overlap with the Doyoon in front of him. His heart raced, and the scent of wind rose to the tip of his nose. It felt like a stream of air with a different color had mixed into the air of the living room. As if a type of person he had only seen in movies and books had suddenly appeared in reality.

The homeroom teacher must have known his mock exam scores. Shouldn’t he have told me this first instead of just talking about bullying and whatnot? Then I would have taken the bait much more gladly. Looking back, Jaehyun started again.

“I asked if you have played any pieces.”

“…Bach. Goldberg.”

“Ah, really? Wow, if you’ve done Bach, you must have learned a lot.”

In fact, Jaehyun himself had learned much more. He had gone through Schumann and Chopin to Prokofiev and had been told to major in it several times. He had refused because he did not want to go down a narrow path like arts and physical education. However, Jaehyun deliberately did not elaborate on his own story and just looked into Doyoon’s eyes and asked.

“I like that piece. I have several albums. Have you heard Glenn Gould? What about Richter?”

“…”

“Do you want to try playing it now? I’m curious how you would play it.”

Jaehyun said, pointing his finger openly at the keyboard, but the furrow in Doyoon’s brow only deepened. It was a clear ‘why is this guy being so pushy?’ expression.

Still, Jaehyun persistently continued the conversation. In the end, he even forcibly took him to his room and showed him his collection of Bach piano music albums, but at some point, Doyoon looked at the clock, and Jaehyun, realizing he had to go to his part-time job from five o’clock, reluctantly let him go.

“See you tomorrow at one-twenty, too. Let’s meet at the bus stop.”

“Okay.”

Doyoon nodded as Jaehyun saw him off at the door. They had agreed to meet three times a week until the finals. On Wednesdays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

On Wednesdays, they would just check his progress, and on weekends, they would study properly together. He felt that from one-thirty to four-thirty was a bit tight, so he asked if he could come earlier, but Doyoon shook his head. He said he had things to do at home until one o’clock.

The next day, Doyoon rang Jaehyun’s doorbell five minutes before the appointed time. He was a kid who was never late for school, either. Jaehyun was a little surprised that Doyoon was able to follow his instructions well without losing focus for the entire three and a half hours. He thought he might really be able to raise his average by about 10 points by the finals.

About ten minutes before the tutoring session ended, Jaehyun, as a test, threw two advanced-level math problems at Doyoon. Problems at the level of a math competition. As expected, Doyoon just glanced at them and solved them with mental math. Jaehyun smiled.

“You really won’t try playing the keyboard once? I’m curious.”

“…”

“Just play me one of the Goldberg Variations. I like number 4. Number 8 is good, too.”

However, Doyoon shot him another scowl, so Jaehyun gave up and shut his mouth. What do you want me to do, that’s the least interesting thing in the world, his face said.

“Alright, you can go. See you at school tomorrow.”

“Uh.”

“Sorry for pestering you so much about the piano.”

As Jaehyun added this, Doyoon, who was twisting the doorknob, suddenly hesitated. He seemed to half-open his lips as he turned his face towards Jaehyun, but he soon spun around and left. Jaehyun let out a small sigh and got ready to go to his convenience store part-time job.

The weekend passed quickly. He finished his part-time job at 10 p.m. and met up with some kids who were playing at a nearby PC bang. After showing off with some expired kimbap and cream sandwiches and hanging out, by the time he got home, it was already past midnight. Monday passed normally, and then it was Tuesday morning, the day of the music performance evaluation.

The atmosphere in the classroom was different from usual. There were quite a few pieces of luggage that were not usually there, placed on top of and below the storage cabinet in the back. Violin, cello, flute cases, and so on. Of course, there were also kids who just had the long, faux leather case containing a recorder tucked into their desk drawers.

As he sat down, Jaehyun glanced towards the window seat. Doyoon was sitting with his head bowed over his desk as usual, but he could not see a recorder in the drawer visible between his elbows. His bag was also slim. That meant he had come empty-handed, so he was probably planning to play the piano.

First period and second period passed in anticipation. When the break came, all the kids in the class stood up, took their instruments in hand or slung them over their shoulders, and moved to the music room.

The music room on the first floor. A space as large as two classrooms combined. In the front, a black grand piano and the teacher’s podium were placed facing each other. Even though they had come to take a test and be evaluated, there was an excited atmosphere, as if they were on a field trip or at a concert. As the kids were each checking the condition of their instruments, the music teacher came in.

“We’ll alternate, boy number 1, girl number 1. Everyone, please finish within 4 minutes. If it seems like you’ll go over time, I’ll cut you off in the middle. Alright, boy number 1…”

They could not finish all the practical exams in one day. They would do it in order of attendance number, with about 23 today and 22 next week. The teacher continued calling out names.

“Boy number 1, Kang Doyoon.”

Since his name was ‘Kang’ ‘Do,’ his number was bound to be at the front. Doyoon stood up from his seat and came to the front, and the teacher, noticing his empty hands, asked.

“You don’t have an instrument. Piano?”

“Yes.”

“The piece?”

“…”

“Mr. Kang Doyoon? The name of the piece?”

“Bach, Goldberg Variations, sir.”

A stammering tone, a cracking voice.

“From number 4, to number 8… I will play.”

“Oh? Number 4 is my favorite, too. I’ll look forward to it.”

The teacher smiled, gesturing towards the piano.

Doyoon nodded and walked over. Jaehyun heard someone whisper. Oh, he knows how to play the piano? Doyoon, with his lips twisted into a deep frown, clenched his fists tightly and sat down on the chair in front of the piano. His cheeks were red up to his eyes, and his shoulders were heaving violently. Ah, that. Jaehyun thought.

It’s the same face he made when I asked him to play the keyboard. Maybe he was not particularly annoyed, just nervous. Doyoon, though trembling slightly, placed his hands on the keyboard.

The first E note of the 4th variation rang out.