DGMYF 16

That evening. Throughout dinner, Kaiso couldn’t tell whether the soup was going into his mouth or his nose. Watching him pick at his food for a good while, Troy asked with concern.

“Is it not to your liking? Should I bring you something else?”

However, Kaiso didn’t even notice that Troy was still talking to him. Ever since the suspicion that he might not be Troy’s benefactor had sprouted, he had been completely engrossed in that thought.

‘Is Troy mistaken?’

It was something that happened 10 years ago, so perhaps his memory had become hazy. Young children often believe what they imagine to be the truth.

‘Still, there’s no way he could mistake long hair for short hair.’

Troy remembered his benefactor’s long hair vividly. Even for a child, such a strong memory is hard to forget.

“Is something troubling you, Your Grace?”

As Troy gently took hold of his shoulder and asked, Kaiso finally noticed his presence.

“Ah, no, it’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Answering hastily, Kaiso accidentally knocked over a glass of water. The cold water dripped down onto his thigh.

“Just a moment, I’ll wipe it for you!”

Troy quickly brought a dry towel and began wiping Kaiso’s wet shirt. Still not fully out of his thoughts, Kaiso was late to notice Troy’s hand slipping deep between his thighs.

“W-wait.”

“Yes?”

Troy nonchalantly wiped Kaiso’s wet thigh and then calmly removed the towel. At Troy’s overbearing assistance, the butler, Robson, wore a perpetually bewildered expression.

“Excuse me, Your Grace, I heard that Mr. Elliot is a new aide. Is that correct?”

“It is. He’s just an aide.”

Robson didn’t ask any more questions, but he still looked as if something was unsettling him. Beside them, Troy pouted his lips as if to ask how he could possibly be ‘just’ an aide.

“I’m not just an aide. The Duke and I have a very deep connection.”

“What kind of connection, might I ask?”

“Actually, 10 years ago…”

Kaiso hurriedly raised his hand, cutting Troy off.

“I’ve lost my appetite. I think I’ll stop eating.”

“Ah, Your Grace. Would you like some cake, then?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Although he repeated that he was fine several times, in truth, Kaiso was not fine. His spirits had sunk, and as soon as dinner was over, he crept into the study.

It was a study that hadn’t been used in a long time, but it was so clean that not a single speck of dust had settled on the books. Kaiso slowly rolled his wheelchair forward to the bookshelf.

“Where was that book.”

He usually had the location of his books perfectly memorized, but it had been too long since he had last been in the capital’s study, so he couldn’t remember well. Kaiso took out the books one by one, checking their titles. His hand stopped in front of the thickest book among them.

“Here it is.”

It was a book that recorded the history of the continent’s wars. Kaiso placed the thick book on the desk and opened it to find the page he was looking for. A map of the Kingdom of Lansia was drawn across the full page, with X marks in various places. Kaiso touched the marks with his hand, tracing back his old memories.

“I almost had a real disaster here.”

He muttered, pointing his hand at Valefor Hill.

“We were in a complete panic when a swarm of wyverns attacked us during a break.”

Following the old memories that were coming back to him one by one, he meticulously traced the map.

“That’s right, we were able to seize victory here thanks to defeating the dark mage.”

For someone reminiscing about a terrible war, Kaiso looked quite pleased. Every time his finger slowly swept across the map, the splendid image of his former self—crossing mountains, traversing valleys, and slaying monsters—came vividly to mind. It was a time when the world needed him, and he had responded perfectly to the world’s call. Every step he took became history.

Before long, his finger was pointing toward Agares Valley on the map. The valley, nestled at the foot of the high northern mountains, was located in the middle of a terrible monster-infested area.

‘I think he said his hometown was near here. There’s… a village in a place like this? Is it possible for people to live here?’

Kaiso set aside his doubt and tried to recall his memories of Agares Valley. Nothing came to mind at all.

“As I thought, I can’t remember.”

Kaiso checked the page number related to Agares Valley in the index at the very back.

“Agares Valley…. Here it is, let’s see. ‘In Agares Valley, the Royal Knights led by Princess Serenity defeated the enemy forces lying in ambush. Meanwhile, the Duke of Windermere’s troops were at the Allokes Plains….’ Wait, is that it?”

The record of the battle in Agares Valley was not detailed. Furthermore, according to the book, the one who went to Agares Valley was Serenity, and Kaiso was in the middle of a battle at the Allokes Plains at that time. Agares Valley and the Allokes Plains were in completely different geographical locations.

In that case, there was only one conclusion.

“It seems I’ve never been to Agares Valley.”

Kaiso closed the book. It was the moment the suspicion that had been sprouting in his mind was proven to be true.

“I’m not Troy’s benefactor.”

The mood that had sunk to the floor now trickled viscously down toward the basement. He rested his elbows on the desk and rubbed his dry face. Crack-crackle. The sound of the roaring fireplace filled the study.

‘What should I do?’

He was worried about how to convey this truth to Troy. For whatever reason, Troy believed with all his heart that Kaiso was the benefactor who had saved his life. There was definitely a problem with his memory. But he had no idea how such a mistake could have occurred.

In truth, if he asked Troy directly, all his questions would be cleanly resolved. Exactly when he met that benefactor, how he was saved, what the situation was, and so on. But Kaiso couldn’t bring himself to ask.

What if he left, saying something like, I’m sorry, Your Grace. I think I mistook you for another Duke from the next village over. Well then, I’ll be on my way!?

Kaiso felt he wouldn’t be able to bear it. Although he often threatened to kick him out, he had already grown accustomed to life with Troy. Without Troy, he couldn’t go up the stairs, and getting around became inconvenient. There would be no one to hold his hand whenever he was plagued by nightmares, and if that constantly chattering voice disappeared, he would fall back into the swamp of despair. The thought that he might not be able to hold on until the child returned made Kaiso anxious.

He had to tell Troy the truth. But he didn’t want to lose Troy. These two contradictory desires tormented him.

Knock, knock. At the sound of someone knocking on the door, Kaiso raised his head.

“Your Grace, it’s me.”

“Come in.”

Troy peeked his head in, looked around, and then entered with a bashful grin. Without realizing it, Kaiso hid the book in a drawer. Then he pushed his wheelchair and moved toward the tea table.

“I baked some simple cookies.”

Troy came in holding a plate full of sablé cookies that smelled strongly of butter. As always, for something simple, it was quite a large amount. However, Kaiso was so flustered by his sudden appearance that he forgot to scold him and put a cookie in his mouth in one bite. The cookie crumbled like sand in his mouth.

“It’s delicious.”

At those words, Troy looked as happy as if he had gained the whole world. Looking at that smile, it suddenly occurred to him that Troy wouldn’t leave him just because he wasn’t his benefactor.

‘He likes me that much….’

Though it was short, they had spent time together, and Troy also greatly liked Kaiso’s handsome appearance. On the other hand, the desire to repay a debt of gratitude to a lifesaver he met briefly 10 years ago was merely a feeling of thankfulness. So, wasn’t the person Troy liked the Kaiso right in front of him, rather than the benefactor from a hazy memory?

‘Yes, I’ll tell him. I’ll tell him the truth and say that I’ll help him find his real benefactor, so he should become my official aide and stay by my side.’

Having made up his mind, Kaiso opened his mouth with difficulty.

“Troy, I have something to say.”

“Ah, I have something to say too.”

“Then you go first.”

He was sure it would just be some more nonsense. He wanted to get it over with quickly and get to the point. Kaiso accepted the warm chamomile tea Troy handed him and drank it.

“I love you, Your Grace.”

“Cough, cough…!”

Startled by the unexpected words, he choked. Because of that, he ended up spilling half the tea on the floor. Troy hurriedly brought a cloth and wiped the floor. Even so, he tilted his head as if puzzled.

“Why are you so surprised?”

He had heard that Troy liked him so many times it made his ears ring, but the words “I love you” carried a different weight.

“You shouldn’t say things like that so carelessly.”

“I’ve been thinking it for 10 years, so I don’t think it’s careless.”

“If only you couldn’t talk.”

Kaiso drank a little of the half-remaining tea. His hand trembled slightly, as if he had overheard something he shouldn’t have.

“It’s true. For the past 10 years, not for a single day, not for a single moment, have I stopped thinking about you, Your Grace, for saving me. If it wasn’t for you, Your Grace, I would have just died.”

“……”

Troy’s clear blue eyes welled up with tears. Seeing that pure sincerity, Kaiso had no choice but to admit it.

‘He loves… his benefactor, not me.’

Troy was being kind to Kaiso because he thought he was his benefactor. If he wasn’t the benefactor, they would have never met in the first place, and there would have been no reason for him to pour out his love like this. A one-sided love nurtured for 10 years had lost its way and just happened to land on Kaiso. A hollow sigh escaped him.

Troy knelt and rested his head on Kaiso’s thigh. Kaiso’s hand faltered in mid-air. He wanted to stroke the soft hair, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

How on earth could he tell this boy that he was not his benefactor? How could he now say that he wasn’t the one who should be receiving his love….

“No one who comes along could ever replace that time.”

Those last words flew like a dagger and pierced Kaiso’s heart. However, oblivious to Kaiso’s tragedy, Troy held his hand tightly and whispered affectionately.

“I love you.”

Looking into Troy’s innocent eyes, Kaiso couldn’t find any words to reply. He gently patted Troy’s back to make him get up, then rolled his wheelchair a little farther away from him.

Troy, completely unaware of Kaiso’s complicated feelings, smiled brightly, showing his teeth, as if something was so wonderful. Kaiso, on the other hand, just wanted to escape from this unbearable moment.

“You can leave now.”

“What? Your Grace, what about your answer?”

“What answer is there to give? I want to be alone, so leave.”

“Ah, wait a moment! Can’t I stay here? I’ll hide quietly behind that potted plant.”

“Yeah, no.”

Kaiso opened the door and gave a firm order to leave. Troy resisted, saying he wouldn’t go, but eventually gave up and turned to leave. Through the closing door, his slumped shoulders were visible.

Left alone, Kaiso read the record again several times. He looked for anything that might be wrong, but it only confirmed the fact that he had never been to Agares Valley. There were no more excuses.

‘I have to tell Troy.’

All the devotion Troy was pouring onto him right now belonged to someone else. Technically, Kaiso was stealing someone else’s love. He had never done such an unconscionable thing in his life. Moreover, this kind of lie that harmed others was one of the things Kaiso detested the most.

Considering the devotion Troy had shown him these past few weeks, he felt even more compelled to tell the truth. The longer he hid it, the more disappointed Troy would be in Kaiso. Although Troy would leave him once he knew the truth, that couldn’t be helped. He was simply someone Kaiso never had a right to covet in the first place.

‘Should I call him right now? No, it’s too late at night. Troy will be tired, too. And also….’

Kaiso’s mind filled with excuses for why he couldn’t say it today.

‘We’re going to the Grand Cathedral tomorrow morning. I shouldn’t cause any major incidents before then.’

In the end, Kaiso decided he would first attend the service at the Grand Cathedral, and then tell Troy everything in the garden in front of it. He spent all night worrying about how to bring it up and how to explain it.

The next day, early in the morning.

Kaiso was carried into the carriage in Troy’s arms. He leaned anxiously against the backrest. There was nothing he could do but clutch the pouch of baby hair tightly in his hand.

“I’m so thrilled to be on a date with you, Your Grace, to the Grand Cathedral.”

Unlike the gloomy Kaiso, Troy was full of energy again today.

“Who goes on a date at the sacred Grand Cathedral.”

“A sacred date!”

To make such a blasphemous remark in the middle of the capital. Still, thanks to him, Kaiso was able to smile, if only for a moment.

The carriage carrying the Duke of Windermere moved busily toward the Grand Cathedral. Soon, the majestic sight of the Grand Cathedral unfolded outside the carriage window. The pure white building shone brightly in the morning sun, and the wide courtyard in front of it was packed to the brim with people who had flocked to attend the service.

Kaiso frowned at the pouring morning sunlight. The Grand Cathedral, stretching up as if to pierce the sky, seemed to be looking down on him.

“How many years has it been.”

He had stopped visiting the temple after injuring his legs. There were several reasons, but above all, it was because it was too difficult to visit in a wheelchair.

“Why is the temple in such a high place? I thought God was supposed to descend to the lowest of places.”

“The High Priests have their noses in the air.”

The capital’s Grand Cathedral was located on high ground, offering a view of the entire city at a glance. It was a symbol of the Grand Cathedral’s majesty and authority. The faithful would experience the penance of the ancient saints as they climbed the high hill, and also reflect upon God’s lofty will. Of course, it didn’t end there. Even after finally climbing the hill, another ordeal awaited them to enter the Grand Cathedral.

“A wheelchair can’t get up this.”

Troy frowned, looking at the narrow, steep stairs in front of the temple’s main entrance. Kaiso just gave a slight shrug. It wasn’t the first or second time he’d had an experience like this anyway. The Grand Cathedral couldn’t be considered particularly harsher than other places.

While they were stopped in front of the stairs for a moment, people around them snuck glances at him. It was because rumors about the mad duke who had secluded himself in his mansion had spread throughout the capital. The gazes of people who wanted to confirm the truth of the rumors flew toward Kaiso.

‘There’s never been a day I’ve longed for indifference as much as today.’

As Troy got into position to lift Kaiso, Kaiso wrapped his arms around his neck. Without any sign of struggle, Troy carried Kaiso up the narrow, high stairs in steady steps. Behind them, two servants followed, struggling and groaning as they carried the wheelchair. After being gently seated in his wheelchair, Kaiso tapped Troy’s shoulder and said.

“Thank you.”

“Hehe, then are you going to give me a reward?”

“A reward?”

Suddenly, the scene of a drunk Troy approaching him came to mind, and Kaiso’s face flushed bright red.

“Yes, please pat my head!”

“Ah.”

Putting his embarrassment aside, Kaiso stroked Troy’s hair. He suddenly remembered something he had forgotten. It seemed better to ask the still-energetic Troy rather than the servants who were exhausted from moving the wheelchair.

“Troy, I left a pouch in the carriage.”

“Oh, I’ll go get it right away!”

Troy quickly went down the stairs. Watching him for a moment, Kaiso turned his head toward the servants, who were still panting.

“You two wait here. Tell Troy to come inside when he gets here.”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

Kaiso pushed the wheelchair by himself toward the temple’s main entrance. The line was long, so he couldn’t enter right away. He took his place at the end of the long line and waited for his turn.

When it was finally his turn to enter, he pushed the wheelchair forcefully. However, it didn’t go as he thought. The wheel got caught on the threshold with a thud.

‘Damn it.’

He was used to the Duke’s residence, where it was easy for a wheelchair to get around, so he hadn’t thought to consider that there would be a threshold here. As the line stopped moving, the people waiting behind him began to murmur.

“What’s going on, why aren’t we moving?”

“I don’t know, it looks like someone is blocking the way.”

Kaiso felt a trickle of sweat run down his back. He hurriedly rolled the wheelchair wheels, but it wasn’t enough to get over the threshold. It was only a low threshold, but to him, it felt like a towering barrier.

In the end, with many people waiting behind him, he ended up squarely blocking the temple’s main entrance. The people nearby, rather than helping him, pressed their bodies against the wall and slipped through the narrow gap.

‘If only I could pass through like that….’

Kaiso felt like a giant boulder. The people passing by also stared at him as if he were a stone that couldn’t register their gazes. Kaiso’s head lowered more and more, and his shoulders slumped. His whole body was drenched in a cold sweat, as if he had truly climbed a high mountain.

He shouldn’t have come. He should have just stayed home. Chewing on his belated regret, Kaiso pulled his wheelchair back. Just then, someone gave Kaiso’s wheelchair a push, sending it over the threshold. Kaiso’s chest felt relieved, as if he had crossed a massive mountain ridge.

“Thank you so much.”

When he turned to offer his thanks, Troy was standing there holding the pouch of baby hair. It seemed he had run to the carriage and back in no time.

“What ill-mannered people!”

Troy looked around and shouted in an angry voice. Not wanting to cause a commotion, Kaiso grabbed his sleeve to stop him.

“No, I was the one being a nuisance.”

“What are you talking about? In a world where we live together, isn’t this level of consideration basic courtesy?”

Troy huffed and puffed as he pushed Kaiso’s wheelchair. People’s gazes scattered, and Kaiso’s heart also began to calm down.

The fact that he had to ask for someone’s consideration when he went out always made Kaiso shrink. Every time he went out on the street, he couldn’t shake the thought that he was being a burden to the world. But if it wasn’t a nuisance, but merely something that required a little bit of courtesy, if everyone in the world thought that way….

If so, it would have been a little easier for Kaiso to leave the house. He swallowed down the bitter feeling.

“Let’s go over there.”

Kaiso stopped Troy. He pointed to the most secluded spot at the back of the main chapel.

“That’s too far from the altar. It’ll be hard to hear the voice, too.”

However, Kaiso didn’t want to push through that crowd to get to the front. The wheelchair alone had already drawn a lot of attention. There was no need to add fuel to that unwelcome attention.

“That’s where I’ll be at ease.”

Troy let out a groan as if he didn’t like it, but he obediently followed Kaiso’s wishes. Then, after placing the wheelchair in a suitable spot, he pulled up a chair next to it and sat down.

Once settled, Kaiso took out a chapel veil from his pocket and put it on. At that, Troy let out a loud gasp.

“What?”

“It’s my first time seeing a chapel veil in person. We don’t use them in the North.”

Troy placed both hands on his chest and stared intently at Kaiso with his mouth agape.

“…Half the worshippers here are wearing chapel veils.”

“In my eyes, I can only see you, Your Grace.”

He was dumbfounded by the way he shamelessly uttered such cheesy words. Troy, unconcerned, took his time admiring Kaiso’s appearance. Every now and then, he would randomly swipe a finger under his nose.

“I think I need to change my religion.”

“There you go with the nonsense again.”

Kaiso draped a chapel veil over Troy’s head as well. During the service, Troy was caught stealing glances at Kaiso and earned a flick on the forehead.

Before long, the long service ended, and it was time to receive the High Priest’s blessing. People who had come to the temple since morning to receive the blessing hurriedly formed a line. There was a slight squabble as people tried to get to the front, but the priests came out to organize them, and in the end, a long line was formed.

“The line is long.”

Troy said as he slowly pushed the wheelchair. In front of Kaiso, it was bustling with worshippers who had lined up. It had been too long since he had been to such a crowded place, and Kaiso felt a little suffocated. Whenever he felt anxious, he would slightly raise his head to confirm Troy’s presence.

Finally, his turn came. Troy pushed the wheelchair right up to the front. The High Priest, standing on the high altar, stood with his back ramrod straight and looked down on him with an arrogant expression.

“High Priest.”

Kaiso placed a hand on his chest and greeted him. Then, an assistant priest standing beside him said, looking troubled.

“To receive the blessing, you must kneel, my brother.”

The gazes of the people inside the temple once again focused on Kaiso. Kaiso’s face flushed red. Of course, everyone had to follow the same rules. No matter how noble Kaiso was, he couldn’t demand special treatment before God. So, it was right for Kaiso to kneel just like everyone else. No matter that he couldn’t move his legs, that was his own problem; he couldn’t expect any consideration.

Kaiso tried to soothe himself that way. It was a good thing he had come with Troy.

“Troy, help me out a bit.”

However, Troy gave no answer, nor did he move. When he looked back, Troy was wearing an expression he had never seen before. His lips, which were always smiling, were pressed into a firm, straight line, and his gentle eyes were filled with a cold rage. Furthermore, his fists were trembling so hard it looked as if he might strike the High Priest at any moment.

“Troy.”

Kaiso called his name softly and took the back of Troy’s hand. Only then did Troy seem to snap out of it, looking at Kaiso with a sad expression.

“…Yes, Your Grace.”

Troy lifted Kaiso into his arms and then set him down on the white stone floor. He also helped him fold his legs, kneel, and find his balance. The priests looked down at the scene silently with arrogant expressions. Their gazes pressed down on Kaiso like a rock.

Only after a time that felt twice as long as anyone else’s did Kaiso manage to get into the proper posture. With a face as nonchalant as possible, he took Ingrid’s baby hair out of the pouch.

“High Priest, I have brought the baby hair of my daughter, Ingrid Verdandi Windermere. Please bestow a blessing upon the future of my poor child.”

A murmur spread through the crowd. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it was obvious. Kaiso thought about how much of a madman he must look like, cradling the hair of a child everyone believed to be dead.

“A blessing upon Lady Ingrid Verdandi Windermere.”

The High Priest spoke perfunctorily, then gave a brief kiss to Ingrid’s hair. Then, as he tapped it with his fingertips, a small light appeared for a moment before disappearing.

Kaiso stared intently at the spot where the small light had been. How wonderful would it be if that light could reach the child and protect her. How wonderful would it be if it could deliver a little warmth to the child lying on the hard, cold floor of the dragon’s castle. Something hot streamed down from Kaiso’s eyes.

“Next.”

As the person behind him took a step forward, waiting for their turn, Kaiso felt a sense of urgency. He extended a hand to Troy, signaling for him to quickly get him out of the way. In this moment, his body felt like a huge burden.

Back in the wheelchair in Troy’s arms, Kaiso hurriedly moved out of the line. Everyone pretended not to, but as soon as Kaiso passed by them, their heads automatically turned. The sound of their eyeballs turning sounded like jeers.

Those countless gazes became threads that wrapped around Kaiso’s entire body. They bound his powerless legs, bound his two hands, and finally, choked his neck.

The world spun around him, and a high-pitched ringing buzzed in his ears. His tears stung like shards of glass. It became harder and harder for Kaiso to breathe. He wanted to just become a dot in this world and disappear forever. Down, down below….

Just then, a gentle, low voice cut through the commotion and reached his ear.

“Look at me, Your Grace.”

Kaiso barely managed to lift his head. He could see clear blue eyes that seemed to ripple like waves. Following Troy’s gesture, Kaiso took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly.

“Slowly.”

As his breathing gradually stabilized, the ringing in his ears disappeared, and his wavering vision slowly found its place again. Troy lifted Kaiso and held him tightly in his arms. With his face buried in Troy’s broad shoulder, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, a thought filled his mind.

Couldn’t he just borrow Troy’s affection for a little while? Just until he could endure it on his own, just until he got his child back. No, just until he could even confirm whether his child was alive or dead. Couldn’t he be greedy for just a little while…. Kaiso wanted to breathe, even if it meant stealing a love that wasn’t his.

‘O God, do not forgive me.’

He knew that this was an act that would drive him into a pit, yet he threw his arms around Troy’s neck and held on with all his might.

“Your Grace, try to get some fresh air.”

At some point, Troy had carried him outside the temple. Without putting Kaiso down even once, Troy went straight down the stairs and then slowly walked around the vicinity. The Grand Cathedral’s garden was as ornate and beautiful as the garden at the Duke’s residence. No, it was to the point where it wouldn’t fall short even when compared to the royal gardens. The full bloom of spring shone brilliantly, as if to mock Kaiso’s misfortune.

“I’m sorry, Troy.”

In the end, he couldn’t bring himself to tell Troy the truth. And he would continue not to for a while. Unsure of how to repay this debt, Kaiso ended up just offering a groundless apology.

“For what? For not sleeping with me yesterday?”

Kaiso let out a dry laugh, finding the comment absurd.

“I should just stop talking.”

“Hehe, if you’re sorry, then dote on me.”

What was it he said doting was, again? Kaiso tried to recall what Troy had said before. Dote on him, say he’s pretty, pat his head, and also….

Kaiso gave Troy a short kiss on the cheek. For a moment, Troy staggered so badly he almost dropped Kaiso. Kaiso grabbed Troy’s forearm tightly.

“You startled me.”

“Y-you can’t do that so suddenly! My legs almost gave out.”

“You told me to dote on you.”

“That’s true, but! I loved it, but! Please give me a warning! So I can prepare my, my heart!”

Troy carried Kaiso straight to the carriage and set him down. Leaving the wide seat opposite them empty, Troy squeezed into the narrow seat next to Kaiso, squirming as he spoke.

“But, Your Grace. It’s only fair if you do it on the other cheek too.”

Kaiso pushed his face away with his hand.

“Once is enough.”

“Hmph, for me, a hundred times isn’t enough.”

Watching Troy’s lighthearted charm, he couldn’t help but smile. At the same time, a huge weight fell in Kaiso’s heart with a thud. One more piece of guilt was added to Troy’s warm smile, and one more piece of self-loathing was added for his own detestable attitude.

Giddy-up! With the coachman’s vigorous shout, the carriage slowly started to move. The next destination was a general store. The plan was to go there and buy masks to wear at the ball. However, just thinking about the masks made Kaiso’s heart tighten.

The humiliation he would suffer at the ball and the worry about what would happen if he failed to persuade the Crown Princess were eating away at him. Kaiso clasped his trembling hands together. His heartbeat was so loud it felt like his whole body was shaking.

In the end, Kaiso corrected their destination.

“Let’s go to the tailor’s first.”

“Wow, are you going to buy clothes?”

Troy’s face instantly turned bright red. His eyes sparkling, he squeezed Kaiso’s hand.

“I’m so happy. You’ll look good in anything, Your Grace.”

“Not for me, for you.”

“Why would you get me clothes?”

“Because you have to go to the ball, too.”

Troy always wore neat, everyday clothes. He didn’t seem interested in dressing up, as he wore no accessories, and his attire was always monochromatic and similar in style. Of course, anything looked good on Troy, but he couldn’t attend a ball in such plain clothes. Besides, wasn’t it a masquerade ball? Everyone would be dressed in their most glamorous attire, so they needed to be somewhat prepared as well.

“Wow, this will be my first time going to a ball.”

Being a commoner from the northern mountain villages, Troy would of course have never had the opportunity to attend a ball. That would make this ball no different from his debutante. When that thought occurred to him, a strange sense of responsibility welled up inside Kaiso.

“You’re tall and have broad shoulders, so you’ll look good in anything. You can pick out everything you like.”

Kaiso encouraged him as they entered the shop. Troy seemed strangely intimidated just by entering a space lined with colorful formal wear and dresses, as if he felt awkward.

“I’ve never worn clothes like this before.”

Troy carefully examined the fancy clothes on display one by one with curious eyes. In fact, it was unfamiliar to Kaiso as well. It had already been several years since he was active in high society, and after the accident, he had even stopped buying new clothes.

At the sound of their presence, the shop owner came running out from the back in a hurry. Jerome Stirling, who had excessively curly hair, was an acquaintance of Kaiso’s.

“My, if it isn’t the Duke of Windermere? It’s been a very long time.”

“Stirling, have you been well?”

“I’m the same as always. You’re as handsome as ever, Your Grace.”

Stirling spouted his sales pitch like a smooth talker, then naturally guided the two to a table. He didn’t forget to move one of the sofas to make space for the wheelchair. He gestured for a servant to bring them tea and refreshments.

“Now, now, let’s see. Our Duke’s preference is black tea with three sugars, and warm milk. Correct?”

“You remember it perfectly.”

Stirling was famous for being a smooth-talking merchant. And he proved his ability by not asking about Kaiso’s legs at all.

“Of course. I also remember Your Grace’s measurements perfectly. Height is 6 feet (183cm), and weight is….”

He trailed off. The weight he remembered for Kaiso was from when he had a much larger build. It was at least a 15kg difference from his current thin, gaunt state. Stirling must have noticed it too, as a hint of difficulty crept into the corners of his mouth. Before the atmosphere could sink, Kaiso spoke up.

“I didn’t come to buy clothes for myself today.”

“Oh, then this handsome young man is the star of the day?”

“He’s my aide. He needs to attend the upcoming royal ball, so please pick out a glamorous outfit for him.”

Stirling naturally had Troy stand up and then looked him over from head to toe.

“Let’s see, his height is about 6 feet 3 inches (191cm). Wow, his shoulders are quite broad. His chest is large too.”

He smartly took out a tape measure from his pocket and measured Troy’s body size. Troy stood stiffly, just laughing awkwardly.

“Silver hair, silver hair and blue eyes. My, what a beautiful combination. As it happens, I have just the fabric that would suit our customer. It’s a new fabric that just came in this morning, this must be fate. What do you think? Would you like to take a look?”

Troy seemed to have lost his wits to Stirling’s dizzying spiel, his mouth just opening and closing. Kaiso leaned back in his wheelchair leisurely and answered for him.

“Bring whatever you have.”

Stirling ran off excitedly and returned with a rack full of clothes and fabrics. He took them out one by one, explaining the material and design of the fabric, and went on a long speech about the colors that would suit Troy’s skin tone.

“For people like him, soft pastel tones are better than bright colors. That way, it blends in softly without being too loud. But what do you know? The fabric that just came in happens to be pastel-toned.”

Stirling practically dragged Troy to the fitting room. Kaiso pushed his wheelchair and followed him to the front of the fitting room. It seemed something was happening inside, as Troy’s pained screams could be heard. Kaiso waited patiently, feeling like he was waiting for a bride in her wedding dress.

“Alright, you can come out now.”

The fitting room curtain was drawn back, and Troy appeared, scratching the back of his head. He wore a pale blue jacket with gold embroidery, a shirt with a flowing ribbon, and white pants with knee-high boots. Combined with his flushed face, it was a very becoming outfit. Troy was even forced to spin around once by Stirling’s hand.

“It looks good on you.”

“It’s too small.”

Troy whined, tugging at the ends of his sleeves awkwardly. He looked at Kaiso pleadingly with an expression that seemed to say, save me, but Kaiso shook his head firmly.

“Now, now, don’t worry about the size, just check the color and design. It’s going to be custom-made anyway. Now let’s see. Wasn’t I right? How well this jacket goes with his blue eyes!”

Looking at Troy standing there with his cheeks puffed out in pastel-toned clothes, Kaiso couldn’t help but feel proud.

After that, he tried on and took off countless more outfits. Stirling’s eye for fashion and Troy’s ability to pull off clothes blended perfectly, so he looked good in everything he wore. The pastel-toned jacket brought out Troy’s youthful and cute side, while the navy or dark green jackets gave him a more serious look. After a long deliberation on what to choose, Kaiso opened his mouth.

“From here to there. I’ll take them all.”

“Your Grace!”

“Ah, as expected. Your Grace’s generosity is truly extraordinary.”

Stirling quickly wrote up the order form before Troy could stop him.

“I don’t need this many.”

“I want to do this for you.”

Was this why Ingrid played with dolls? Dressing up a pretty person in pretty clothes was pleasing to the eye and made him feel quite good. The way he blushed in embarrassment, and the way he awkwardly fidgeted with his hands and scratched the back of his neck, was also quite lovely.

While Kaiso signed the order form, the shop staff took Troy to one side. Stirling, who had been watching the scene with pride, rubbed his palms together and approached Kaiso.

“What outfit will Your Grace be wearing?”

“Just whatever I have at home.”

Kaiso answered with an indifferent face. The butler, Gordon, had packed a few formal suits in his trunk, so he would just pick something from there and wear it.

“Of course, Your Grace would shine in anything he wears. But you would be even more beautiful if you wore this? Here, what do you think?”

Stirling gently held a white jacket with gold embroidery against Kaiso’s body. A look of sincere admiration clouded his face. However, Kaiso’s expression hardened as he raised one hand.

“I’m fine.”

At his cold reaction, Stirling seemed a bit flustered. In his youth, Kaiso was quite sensitive to fashion, to the point where he would never wear the same outfit twice. For such a person to attend a ball wearing just anything was certainly surprising.

“But isn’t it a masquerade ball? Everyone will be wearing the latest, most glamorous outfits.”

As Kaiso’s expression stiffened, Stirling took the hint and shut his mouth. He quietly organized the order form and poured Kaiso another cup of tea.

Now that they had bought the clothes, he couldn’t put it off any longer. Kaiso deliberately finished the rest of his tea and, after even receiving a farewell from Stirling, left the shop as slowly as possible. He tried to calm himself during the carriage ride, but the carriage was faster than his heart was prepared to be. Before he knew it, they had arrived in front of the general store.

“Welcome! Are you here to look for masks for the ball?”

The other items in the shop had already been moved far away, and a variety of fancy masks were displayed at the forefront. It seemed they had made thorough preparations in advance for the large-scale masquerade ball.

What kind of mask could hide his misfortune? At the same time, what kind of mask should he wear to make a good impression on Serenity? Kaiso fell into deep thought as he looked at the display case.

The stout shop owner brought out several plaster masks with fancy decorations like golden butterflies, red roses, blue peacock feathers, and black lace, all engraved with gold foil.

“In addition to these, we can custom-make anything you desire. We’ll finish it before the ball and deliver it to your residence.”

Kaiso first picked up the peacock feather decoration that was closest to him and tucked it behind his ear. He heard Troy take a sharp breath from behind.

Ignoring the sound, he looked at his face in the mirror the shop owner had brought him. It was so flamboyant that it made him look ridiculous. Kaiso hurriedly took off the decoration.

“By the way, why do they hold a ball while wearing masks?”

Troy muttered that he couldn’t understand the fact that they had to cover Kaiso’s handsome face with a mask.

“It’s so people can enjoy the party freely, without being bound by their status. And do whatever they couldn’t because of their reputation.”

“Hmm, if it’s something you can’t do without a mask, shouldn’t you not do it even with a mask on?”

“That’s true, but a little bit of this kind of freedom is necessary sometimes.”

When Kaiso appeared at the ball this time, people would probably gossip about him without even trying to hide it. There would be no need to lower their voices, no need to cover their mouths with fans. Funnily enough, the freedom that the nobles desired was the freedom to be as ugly as they wanted.

“Which one is better?”

Kaiso asked, holding the masks up to his face one by one. Troy examined them with a serious expression, and finally picked up the butterfly decoration and placed it by Kaiso’s ear.

“Your Grace is a fragrant flower, so I think a butterfly decoration would look nice.”

“You really say such cringeworthy things without a single change in your expression.”

“It’s the truth.”

Troy turned to the shop owner, seeking his agreement. At that, the shop owner also nodded his head vigorously.

“That’s absolutely right.”

As if he liked that answer, Troy grabbed the shop owner’s hand and shook it up and down. Ignoring the fussing Troy, Kaiso pondered as he examined the masks one by one.

From the shape of the mask to the decorations, there were many things to choose from, which gave him a headache. First, considering his circumstances, it seemed that something too flamboyant wouldn’t be appropriate.

‘It’s obvious there will be gossip. Serenity won’t look upon it favorably either.’

Kaiso set aside the overly flamboyant masks. He left a few, and put away a few others. After a good while of this, Kaiso finally narrowed down the candidates to a black lace mask, a golden butterfly mask, and a plain white mask. The black lace mask looked calm, yet its delicate pattern was beautiful. The golden butterfly was the most understated of the flamboyant masks, and the white mask had the feel of a mask worn by a protagonist in some opera.

“Troy, pick just one of these.”

Kaiso asked, placing the three masks on his face in turn.

Troy examined the masks with a serious face. Then, after a long deliberation, he opened his mouth.

“I still think….”

The capital had been abuzz for days with the news of the royal ball. When the day of the ball finally arrived, the entire capital seemed as if a festival was taking place. Even the commoners who couldn’t attend the ball wore masks and roamed the streets, preparing their own parties.

From the carriages lined up in front of the castle gate, nobles who had hidden their identities with fancy masks and flamboyant attire began to get out one by one. The procession continued without any sign of ending, even long after the ball had started.

And for good reason, as the royal ball was an event that was held once or twice a year at most. For that reason, it was the largest and most luxurious of all balls. On dozens of tables were all sorts of delicious-looking food, and the wine glasses were filled with fragrant wine. The castle’s grand hall was decorated with ornaments that elicited admiration just by looking at them.

Amidst that splendid scenery, Lady Eloise Randel, a noble lady who had just turned nineteen, was in a very bad mood. She had put up her luscious, wheat-field-like blonde hair, and even appeared wearing a triumphant lily mask and a pure white dress, but no one had paid any attention to her.

‘The pheromone scent is too strong. My scent will be buried.’

Since their faces couldn’t be seen, the Alphas and Omegas all emitted pheromones instead to show off their charms. However, Eloise, who had presented not long ago, couldn’t control her pheromones properly, and because of that, she failed to attract the attention of the Alphas. Boys and girls in similar situations as her wore unfashionable clothes and waited shyly for someone to talk to them. Despite this, people were hell-bent on talking about some man, not these young and brilliant boys and girls.

‘What are they talking about like that?’

Eloise put down the wine glass she had been sipping from and secretly approached the whispering people. A red clown mask, a green feather mask, a freesia flower mask, and a crow mask were engrossed in conversation, sharing a drink.

“Is he really that great?”

When the red clown asked, looking around cautiously, the green feather and the crow let out sounds of admiration and nodded their heads lightly.