ACJY C77

Lying on the sofa in the Youth Association office, Taeheun sat up at the sound of the Youth Association members who had suddenly barged in. The clock had just passed 7:00 AM.

It wasn’t the Youth Association President, Choi Gicheol, or Kwon Yongjun, but other senior members of the association. Most were in their 40s, older than Choi Gicheol. They were people who were hard to see as they were usually busy with their own farming, but they were also men of action who would roll up their sleeves for any village affair. Three of the five were forty-four, the same age, another was three or four years older than them, and the one called the “Big Brother” was fifty this year. They called themselves, and were called by others, the ‘Eagle Five Brothers.’

“Oh! Manager Kim, what are you doing here at this hour?”

“Ah, yes. Just… you know.”

Taeheun got up from the sofa and mumbled as he slipped his feet into his rain boots.

It wasn’t a matter of what he was doing here at this hour; he had been here ever since parting with the man. He could have gone home, or he could have hailed a taxi and gone into town to get wasted, but he had come here in case the man came looking for him. So much for being the one who ran away first.

“Ugh. It’s a bit better inside.”

“Let’s all have a cup of coffee.”

The office, already a mess with the dried mud Taeheun had tracked in, became a total disaster with the mud the senior members brought in.

“But what are you all doing here at this hour?”

Taeheun asked. They had exchanged names and greeted each other in passing while he was with the man, so they spoke comfortably with each other.

“Don’t even ask. The pigsty at old man Yeoncheon’s place in the back village collapsed, so we were just fixing it. We have to go back again.”

“Oh no. How did the pigsty collapse? Are the pigs okay?”

“It was old, that’s why. Thankfully, the pigs are fine.”

“If we’d known you were here, we would’ve called Manager Kim. We needed someone strong.”

“You should have called. Don’t tell me you still don’t have my number? Did I not give you my business card?”

Taeheun bantered, giving his number to the two who had cell phones.

The senior members, who had been talking about the pigsty affair like a war story, gathered around the water dispenser one by one. Three of the five made instant coffee mix, and two made green tea. They took their paper cups and sat down side-by-side on the sofa.

“Call me anytime for heavy lifting. I may not look it, but I can handle up to 150kg with ease.”

A few gazes lingered and then disappeared from Taeheun’s upper body, where his chest was clearly visible with the tracksuit zipper halfway down. It wasn’t a sticky and strange gaze like Choi Gicheol’s, but one that was gauging his physical ability.

“Hey, what do you mean 150kg? You look like you could barely lift 50kg.”

“You think you have the strength to lift a pickaxe?”

They looked down on Taeheun, grinning.

“Hey, what’s with you guys? You’ve seen me work.”

“We’ve seen you, alright. Puttering around next to Gibeom-ie.”

“You think gym-sculpted ‘beauty muscles’ are the same as ‘life muscles’?”

“That’s right. They just look good, that’s all. When it comes to strength, Gibeom-ie is the strongest.”

As the senior members mentioned the man’s name, he naturally became curious about him. The man was someone who never missed a village event, so he must have been called there.

“But I guess Mr. Gibeom didn’t work with you?”

Taeheun asked, pretending to be nonchalant as he drank water from the dispenser.

“Of course he went with us. He was with us until just now, but he had to go into town for his school crossing guard duty for the kids. He should be on his way back around now.”

“Oh, I see.”

So that’s how it was.

As expected, there was a reason the man hadn’t been able to come to the community center to find Taeheun. It wasn’t that he hadn’t looked for him on purpose.

Despite having worried all night, a smile spread across his face at the thought of seeing the man. He thought it was ridiculous himself, but what could he do, he was happy. He sipped his water and stared at the office door.

The man appeared about 30 minutes later. It was when the senior members of the Youth Association, after drinking their coffee and tea and even taking hot showers, were huddled together on the sofa, dozing off.

The man looked extremely tired. It was understandable, since he had been up all night tending to the flooded field, checking the rice paddies, and then fixing the pigsty. Unlike Choi Gicheol, who didn’t lift a finger, the senior members were the type to get things done, so the man probably hadn’t worked alone, but the heavy lifting would have still been mostly his responsibility.

“You’re here?”

Taeheun greeted him first.

The man replied, ‘Yes,’ with a somewhat weary expression, went to the water dispenser, drank some water, and then immediately made an instant coffee mix. The sweet smell filled the office. It hadn’t bothered him when the senior members were drinking it earlier, but when the man made coffee, his mouth started to water.

“Give me some too.”

At Taeheun’s request, the man put down the coffee cup he was drinking from and poured coffee into a new paper cup. Taeheun immediately walked over and picked up the cup the man had taken a sip from. The man looked back, and Taeheun drank the man’s coffee as if it had been his all along.

The man was about to say, ‘That’s-’, so he beat him to it and changed the subject.

“Did Jihye get to school okay?”

He asked, sweeping his hair back.

“Yes. They were both so dazed and sleepy, I think they stayed up all night.”

The man’s voice was hoarse as he answered. His lips were pale blue, too. Come to think of it, the man was still wearing the same clothes he had put on at dawn. They were obviously wet.

“I knew it. But why does your voice sound like that, Mr. Gibeom?”

“Ah. That’s.”

The man glanced at the senior members sitting on the sofa and rubbed the back of his neck. He continued, on the assumption that Taeheun knew what he had been doing.

“I was shouting so much while fixing the pigsty, that’s why.”

“You were shouting, Mr. Gibeom? Why, did someone not listen to our Mr. Gibeom?”

He raised his voice. At that, the man waved his hands dismissively and glanced nervously at the senior members.

“It’s not that, it’s because the pigs were squealing so much.”

“And here I was thinking. Those little pig shits, this won’t do. I’m gonna have to teach them a lesson.”

Taeheun made a show of rolling up sleeves he didn’t have. Because of that, the coffee cup in his hand tipped over, and the coffee spilled.

The man put down his own cup and quickly went to the sofa table to grab a roll of toilet paper. Just as he was thinking how fast his actions were, the toilet paper flew through the air. Taeheun caught the white bundle that came his way, bewildered. The two of them looked at each other and laughed at almost the same time.

Ah. This is good. I’m crazy about that man.

He felt like his heart was going to burst.

He was ashamed of himself for running away from the man this morning. Fuck. He tore off some toilet paper and scrubbed the floor hard.

While Taeheun was cleaning the floor, the man briefly stepped outside the office and came back. He had a squeegee in his hand. The sticky floor became smooth in an instant as the man pushed the squeegee over it. For some reason, the disappointment and anger he had felt towards himself began to wash away a little.

“Mr. Gibeom.”

Taeheun called the man’s name while still squatting on the floor.

Just then, the office door burst open. It was the Youth Association President. He let out a big yawn as he entered the office, then stopped short with an ‘Oh.’ He seemed surprised by the crowd that filled the office so early in the morning.

One of the senior members who had been dozing on the sofa, who knows when he woke up, pointed a finger at Choi Gicheol.

“Hey, you son of a bitch. Why didn’t you answer your phone? Huh? And you call yourself the Youth Association President? Do you think we gave you that position because we don’t know how to take it for ourselves?”

Starting with that, the senior members woke up one by one and, as if they had been waiting, vented their frustrations. A torrent of unfiltered words poured out.

“Look at that motherfucker. Looks like you had a good night’s sleep. Your face is all shiny with grease.”

“Choi Gicheol, you! What were you doing last night? What were you doing that you couldn’t answer the phone!”

“I went to your house, and you wouldn’t even open the door. I definitely saw the lights on. I mean, there’s a limit to neglecting your duties. You and the village chief, just you wait. See if we let this slide this time!”

The atmosphere was grim. Even the man, who usually sided with Choi Gicheol, kept his mouth shut and glared at him. Needless to say, Taeheun did the same.

What shitty timing.

He gritted his teeth and shot to his feet.

“No, that’s… It’s not like that… that’s.”

Choi Gicheol stammered.

“What is ‘that’?”

“If you have a mouth, then speak up, you bastard!”

The Big Brother stood face to face with Choi Gicheol. His clenched fist was trembling. Choi Gicheol backed away and then quickly bolted as if his life depended on it.

“That bastard, hey! You! Get back here!”

Led by the Big Brother, they all rushed out in the direction Choi Gicheol had gone. It was a sitcom in itself. Unlike Taeheun, who let out a hollow laugh, the man had a rather serious expression, as if contemplating whether to follow them or not. He could see his body twitching.

“Mr. Gibeom, don’t even think about following them, just go and change your clothes.”

“But still.”

“What do you mean, ‘but still’? Just let the senior members handle it among themselves. Your lips are blue.”

At Taeheun’s words, the man fiddled with his lips with his fingers.

“I don’t have a change of clothes.”

“What do you mean you don’t? There are plenty here.”

Taeheun strode over to the office cabinet.

“Those are for Youth Association use.”

“I know. I took one to wear, too. The senior members did as well.”

“They’re not free.”

“Yes, they are. Besides, you’re a member of the Youth Association too, Mr. Gibeom. What’s the big deal about wearing one for free?”

He opened the cabinet and handed the man a tracksuit top and bottom set.

“But the sleeves and pants are a bit short. Looks like all the larger sizes are gone.”

Saying this, Taeheun pointed to his own exposed wrists and ankles. Seeing that, the man laughed.

He should have just taken it and put it on, but the man hesitated, fiddling with the tracksuit.

“Just wear it, will you.”

Having no other choice, Taeheun pushed the man’s back with both hands.

Through the single layer of thin fabric, he could feel the coldness of the man’s body on his palms. Even if the temperature had dropped, it was still summer. It wasn’t easy for one’s body temperature to drop in the middle of summer. He had been wearing wet clothes all this time because he said he didn’t have a change of clothes, so of course even a healthy man would be cold. He was really so inflexible.

“Don’t go catching a cold and passing it on to Jihye, hurry up!”

Once he brought up his child’s name, the man finally, as if he couldn’t refuse, took the clothes and headed to the shower room.

“Idiot. Moron.”

After saying it, he realized it wasn’t something he should be saying to the man.

Did an idiot meet an idiot?

He let out a puff of a laugh.

About 15 minutes later, the man returned, dressed like Taeheun with his wrists and ankles showing. Even though the tracksuit was so small his chest was tight, he had zipped it all the way up to his neck, as if he had so much to hide.

The man went and sat on an empty sofa, and Taeheun sat across from him. They were both in a ridiculous posture with their knees above their waists. He wanted to speak in a stylish manner in a place with some atmosphere, but there was no time to hesitate. He didn’t know when the Youth Association President and the senior members would burst in, and he felt that if he missed this chance, it would be difficult to ever say it.

Taeheun hurriedly began to speak.

“I’m sorry for leaving without a word at dawn.”

He apologized to the man.

At that, the man shook his head vigorously.

“No, it’s okay. You must have been surprised because I said something so sudden. You must have been very tired from doing work you’re not used to, and for me to say something like that on top of it… I’m sorry.”

The man then added, ‘I’m a bit clueless,’ blaming himself. It seemed he thought Taeheun had been so startled by his confession that he had run for the hills. To make the man think such a ridiculous thing, he had really done something crazy.

“It’s not your fault, Mr. Gibeom. It was understandable that you wouldn’t have noticed. It wasn’t because I was tired.”

“……”

“I won’t run away anymore. For real.”

“Run away?”

The man asked with a puzzled expression.

“I ran away. I’ve always been like that. Strangely, I always end up running away in front of you, Mr. Gibeom. Like a coward.”

“What do you mean…”

The man still didn’t understand what Taeheun meant. It was only natural. He was the only one who had been putting on a whole one-man show all this time.

“The truth is, I was scared. I ran away because I was scared.”

He made up his mind and explained properly. He confessed that he liked him, that he was dying because he liked him so much, but last night he was scared. He confessed that it had been the same at the market. That every time he talked about the future, he trembled because he was so scared that he wouldn’t be in that future. That’s why he had wanted to hold onto him and hug him, but had failed unexpectedly. He also said that the problem seemed to be that damn dick that both he and the man had.

“I thought I was an open-minded guy, but I guess I still have a long way to go.”

The man just listened to Taeheun’s words in silence.

“Of course, I know you never gave me permission to do that kind of thing with you, Mr. Gibeom. I know, but still, I believed it was possible.”

Taeheun bit his lip. ‘But I messed it up. I didn’t know I was this much of a coward either,’ he said with a sigh.

The man’s lips parted a few times, but he didn’t say anything. While listening to Taeheun, all he did was rub the back of his neck and let out a few throat-clearing coughs, hmm, hmm. While blushing, of course.

Honestly, from the man’s perspective, the current situation must be extremely baffling. On the morning of a day he had stayed up all night working, in the Youth Association office of all places, wearing clothes that were smaller than his size, he probably never imagined he would hear such a ridiculous confession.

“I was so happy when you told me you liked me, Mr. Gibeom.”

Taeheun gave the man the answer he should have given him long ago.

Yoon Gibeom likes me, this Kim Taeheun. Definitely in that way.

At that thought, his heart felt like it would burst. He was so overcome with joy he didn’t know what to do.

Looking back, even the man’s confession was so very him. Hadn’t he been talking about the duck farming method when he was forced to confess, unable to withstand Taeheun’s relentless pestering? The situation and the words were clumsy, but the message he wanted to convey was clear.

The man instantly turned bright red. Not just the tips of his ears, but even his fingertips, which were usually hard to notice due to their distinct darkness, were tinged with pink. Seeing that, Taeheun felt a thrill.

“I will never run away. No matter what happens, I’ll stay by your side, Mr. Gibeom. So you have to stick right by my side too, Mr. Gibeom.”

He made a firm resolve.

Just because he had confessed his inner thoughts, nothing would change immediately. Taeheun would probably have a hard time hugging the man while sober for a while, and the man, too, was not the type to rely entirely on Taeheun just because their feelings were mutual. The two of them might run on parallel lines forever. Nevertheless, just deciding that he would never run away from the man again brought about a great change in his heart. At least, for Taeheun himself, it did.

The two fell silent. Fortunately, that time was not long. It was because the senior members, who had caught and dealt with Choi Gicheol, returned with him.

“Let’s go get some food.”

The Big Brother shouted.

The man shot to his feet as if he had been waiting. Then he looked down at Taeheun and held out his hand. Without hesitation, Taeheun firmly grasped the man’s large, rough hand. The man smiled shyly.

The senior members, including the crestfallen Choi Gicheol, took Taeheun and the man to a duck soup restaurant.

The man must have been very hungry. He ate with real gusto. He focused solely on eating, without a single care or worry in the world. He didn’t look gluttonous or pathetic. On the contrary, he looked beautiful. And so, he became hungry.

“Mr. Gibeom, whenever I see you, I get hungry. Very hungry.”

He said to the man.

The man, who was tearing at a leg, looked up. His red lips, glistening with oil, parted slightly. He deliberately picked up a piece of duck meat towards the man, who had a questioning look in his eyes. When he bit into the meat with his teeth, the juices flowed into his mouth.

“This is amazing.”

He gave a thumbs-up to the man.