BIA Ch. 106

“So…”

Isaiah couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

“So, what?”

Bran asked, wiping away his tears with his hand. Despite his expressionless face, his tone held a hint of laughter, suggesting he knew exactly what Isaiah was trying to say but had no intention of saying it himself, not even if it killed him. He really had a nasty personality. For a moment, a surge of intense anger flared up inside Isaiah, making him want to just give up on everything, but seeing the smile gradually spread across Bran’s face, his anger subsided just as quickly.

“Hm? You need to say it properly.”

Bran urged openly. Isaiah hesitated, wondering what to say, then mumbled in a small voice,

“…Let’s masturbate together.”

Finally, Bran smiled deeply. Wrinkles formed near his eyes, like faint dimples, instantly making his face look boyish. Bran would hate hearing this, but it was a smile reminiscent of his John Bosco days. Back then, Bran often smiled at those around him with a face full of such innocence and kindness. Whenever Isaiah saw him like that from afar, he wished. That his smile would reach him too, that he would look back at him, just once.

But now, Bran was kissing him, wearing that very smile he had longed for. It felt strange. As if he had leaped across twenty years and was being kissed by the Bran from back then. Trying not to aggravate the wounds meant they could only manage a light press of the lips, but somehow, that made his heart flutter even more.

“All you had to do was say ‘I love you,’ was that so difficult?”

Bran said, touching his lips, which had already swollen despite the careful kiss. Not only his touch, which was more intense than the kiss, but also his skillful way of speaking and his deep voice clearly belonged to an adult man, older than him.

It was an obvious fact, yet the moment he became newly aware of this obvious fact, a slightly petulant tone slipped out before he knew it.

“What? It’s your fault.”

“Why me?”

“Because you said before that it wasn’t love.”

“That was then.”

Isaiah was ready to punch him in the nose if he claimed he’d never said such a thing, but thankfully, Bran didn’t say that.

“You know now why it was rejected back then. And you promised to fix all the behaviors that get on my nerves from now on. With that level of determination, I guess we can call it love.”

“…..”

Isaiah was confused. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be angry hearing this or not. Maybe it wasn’t actually something to be angry about, but he couldn’t control himself because his norepinephrine levels were excessively high right now—he couldn’t judge properly. Unsure whether it was his fault or Bran’s, he couldn’t even get angry, just breathing raggedly, when Bran spoke with a serious face.

“You said you didn’t know what acting like a fanatic meant? If you just stay still after hearing something like this, that’s being a fanatic.”

“What…!”

As if he’d been waiting for it, Isaiah shot up.

“Who said I was just staying still? I was staring because it was such fucking bullshit I was dumbfounded!”

As soon as he unleashed his pent-up anger, Bran nodded nonchalantly.

“Right, if you get angry like now, we’re lovers.”

“Lo-lovers…!”

He intended to shout, ‘Lovers, my ass!’ but as soon as the word left his lips, a sudden laugh escaped him. Seeing Isaiah lie back down on the bed and cover his face with one hand, Bran spoke, sounding exasperated.

“Are you getting angry or not? Make up your mind.”

“I just… I can’t control it right now. I told you.”

“What a headache,” Bran sighed softly. His tone suggested he was deeply worried about the future. Bran, lying on his side, propped his head up with the back of his hand. After watching Isaiah silently for a long while, he suddenly muttered,

“Still, as long as you don’t do anything dangerous, you’re cute enough to put up with.”

“Crazy… Don’t say crazy things.”

Isaiah covered the rest of his face with his other hand.

“But it’s true,” Bran said, making Isaiah move the hands covering his face.

“You might even be cuter now than usual. Crying, getting angry, laughing—you’re doing it all.”

“It’s hard for me…”

“Mentally? Or does that include physical pain too?”

Bran’s hand touched his cheek. The relatively cool hand felt good against his cheek, flushed hot with excitement. Isaiah closed his eyes and murmured,

“Not at first, but if it’s just left alone, eventually my body starts to hurt too…”

“That’s not good.”

His tone was regretful.

“Headache? Nausea?”

“Just… everything hurts.”

That was the only way he could describe it. Because all his senses became hypersensitive—even the blanket against his skin was painful, rustling sounds hurt his ears, the smell of dust stung his nose, and even with his eyes closed, his vision flashed all day, making it impossible to stay lucid.

“Even worse than I thought.”

Even with his eyes closed, Isaiah could picture Bran’s expression. He was surely furrowing his brow slightly, looking troubled.

“I should take back the ‘cute’ comment. I can’t be casually calling my lover cute when he’s suffering like this.”

Bran kept tossing around the word ‘lover,’ perhaps intending to lift Isaiah’s spirits. And indeed, every time he heard that word, he felt his heart pound harder as a pleasant excitement spread through his body. It was strange. His brain was accustomed to strong drugs, unable to feel joy or release dopamine from ordinary things. Yet, just this one word made him feel so happy. It felt like a dream.

“More…”

Isaiah murmured, eyes still closed, as if talking in his sleep.

“More what? The ‘cute’ comment? Want me to say it more?”

No, not that, the ‘lover’ part. He wanted to say that, but his lips wouldn’t move. Besides, the ‘cute’ comment wasn’t entirely bad, and he felt like if he opened his mouth now, something absurd might come out.

“Or, the ‘lover’ part?”

The word he wanted came from Bran’s lips, but it didn’t quite register in his ears. Instead, he was just burning with impatience from the hand caressing his cheek. The pleasant coolness lasted only a moment before the point of contact grew increasingly hot. Stroking and caressing his cheek with the back of the hand, not the fingers, was clearly a seductive gesture. Even if Bran didn’t intend it that way, his already fully awakened sexual sensitivity, along with his other senses, interpreted it as foreplay.

“But saying your body starts to hurt if left alone… does that mean it might not hurt if some measures are taken beforehand?”

Bran seemed to have noticed. That must be why he was asking this question. Instead of answering, Isaiah slowly opened his eyes. His eyes met Bran’s, who had somehow moved closer beside him.

“This?”

With a barely perceptible smile, he slid his hand to the nape of Isaiah’s neck.

“Forcing out serotonin and dopamine to balance the neurotransmitters?”

The secretive touch moved past the hollow of his collarbone, continuing to his shoulder line. The touch, so careful it was almost tentative as it grazed over the bone structure, made Isaiah increasingly desperate. Wanting more contact somehow, he unconsciously tilted his head, rubbing his cheek against the back of Bran’s hand. Bran, finding Isaiah’s actions cute, touched his cheek with his fingers while speaking in a low voice.

“As you probably know, it’s not a very good method. Maybe not as bad as drugs, but it’s a perfect pattern for damaging dopamine receptors.”

“I know…”

Panting, Isaiah rubbed his cheek more desperately against Bran’s hand. He was afraid Bran might pull his hand away.

“And you probably also know that excessively stimulating and rough sex makes it even worse.”

“B-but.”

Finally grabbing Bran’s hand and rubbing it all over his face, Isaiah pleaded.

“I… my brain… unless it’s that intense, I can’t feel anything.”

“You’re mistaken.”

Dismissing it with a slight laugh, he finally pulled his hand free from Isaiah’s grasp. Isaiah couldn’t help but let out a sigh of disappointment. But the next moment, a large hand reached between his legs, and Isaiah’s sigh turned into a moan.

“Isn’t this enough to feel good? Hmm?” Bran whispered, gently stroking his already hard groin.

“Nnngh…”

Isaiah nodded frantically. It felt good, truly. Unbelievably so.