BIA Ch. 19

He became especially affectionate whenever Isaiah cried. Last night was also like that. He offered words of comfort with an uncharacteristically gentle manner.

But that wasn’t why he had cried. He hadn’t shed tears because he wanted to hear kind words of comfort from Bran.

Bran’s words were probably correct. Although he wasn’t conscious of it, he was probably in a state of heightened emotions due to the hypnosis test. When he thought that the story within the story, that is, Isaiah Diaz’s story, would soon come to an end. For some reason, sadness washed over him like a tidal wave.

He didn’t understand that. After all, Isaiah Cole is also him, this and that, all of it is him. Perhaps his life as Isaiah Cole could be happier, so why was he so sad? Why wouldn’t the tears stop?

“Isaiah.”

Probably because he knew it couldn’t happen. A villain’s ending is always a bad ending. There’s no way that the man in the video, Isaiah Cole, a murderer who casually killed people, could be happy. That would make no sense.

But in the end, that was also him. It wasn’t someone else, it was him. It was the same Isaiah.

A villain’s tears aren’t pitied. They’re only disgusting. In fact, he had no idea Bran might also be thinking that.

Having gathered himself, Isaiah once again wiped his tears with the end of his sleeve.

“It’s okay now. Let’s go.”

After speaking firmly, he started walking first. Bran watched Isaiah for a moment, then slowly started walking.

The EEG testing room, like the hypnosis testing room, was on the third floor of the building. Since neither test is commonly performed, there were almost no people waiting.

“But, wouldn’t an EEG test be painful?”

Isaiah said as he took a seat on an empty waiting bench.

“It doesn’t hurt.”

“But electric currents run through, like zzzt.”

“That’s called electrocution.”

“…….”

For a moment, he felt like he had turned into Chester. Isaiah silently vowed not to say anything more.

“Do you hate being in pain?”

No sooner had he made that vow than Bran asked something completely out of the blue.

“Who likes being in pain?”

When Isaiah spoke as if it were preposterous, Bran, instead of answering, stared intently at Isaiah with a meaningful look.

“What, what? No way… me…? Am I…?”

Startled by the unexpected reaction, Isaiah stammered without realizing it. Bran, still wearing that enigmatic expression, scanned Isaiah from head to toe before letting out a short cough.

“For your dignity, I’ll offer no comment.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! What’s no comment after you’ve already said everything?”

Isaiah exclaimed, his face flushing red.

“And why do you even know that?”

“Because the gays at Mountain Dog like to gossip about those kinds of things. If you just sit there for half a day, you would be able to figure out the sexual preferences of all the patrons.”

Bran shrugged as if he hadn’t meant anything by it. Isaiah’s head heated up even more at his shameless attitude.

“So why were you sitting there? Are you gay?”

“Because it’s my business.”

“What…?”

“It’s a business within my district that I manage.”

“Th-then…”

No way. Watching Isaiah muttering, Bran wore an expression that suggested he regretted having to say this.

“That’s right. You put aside the work at the club Chester sent you to spy on me for and instead pursued your own self-interest.”

“…….”

As Isaiah was inwardly cursing Isaiah Cole, whom he didn’t know, or rather, whose face he knew, but knew little else about. The door to the EEG testing room opened and a nurse came out.

“Mr. Wiseman.”

“Oh, yes.”

This time, realizing he was being called, Isaiah immediately stood up.

“You’re here for the EEG, correct? Come this way.”

Bran called out loudly to Isaiah, who was following the nurse to the examination room.

“Do your best, honey.”

Embarrassed, Isaiah couldn’t lift his head as the nurse smiled at him, as if finding his bashfulness endearing.

“What a sweet husband you are.”

Inside the examination room, Isaiah followed the nurse’s instructions and lay down on the bed. Just like he had seen in movies and dramas, several round electrodes were attached to his scalp and forehead. The test began immediately. It was simple. He just had to repeatedly open and close his eyes as instructed by the doctor. Just as Bran had said, it wasn’t painful. Instead, his vision would occasionally flash and sometimes he felt a tingling sensation on his forehead or inside his head.

With the EEG finished, the final step was the consultation. Isaiah went with Bran to Dr. Ackerman’s office on the second floor. Dr. Ackerman was, unexpectedly, a young woman. Upon seeing Bran enter, she muttered “What?” with a grumpy expression, then continued grumbling as she flipped through the patient chart.

“Sam said he had to go to a funeral, so I thought it was yours.”

“Wasn’t my funeral already held fifteen years ago?”

Bran pushed one of the two chairs in front of Dr. Ackerman’s desk toward Isaiah and sat in the accompanying visitor’s chair next to it.

“Fifteen years ago? That was just an expulsion ceremony.”

“They said they would consider me as good as dead.”

He wondered why he seemed to come to this hospital so often, as if it were a daily routine. Turns out the two of them were college friends.

“Hey, what’s this all about? I assumed you were here for your usual sleeping pills… Dissociative fugue?”

Apparently, he did visit often for medication, though it was a bit surprising it was for sleeping pills.

“It’s a fugue. A rare case, isn’t it?”

“Hmm.”

Dr. Ackerman looked over Isaiah’s questionnaire, scratching her head with the tip of her pen.

“Not particularly. It was rare when we were students but the number of cases has increased significantly in recent years. Usually, the memories return within a few days.”

“Seems like everyone has a lot they want to run away from.”

“It’s mostly work stress. Pitiful, isn’t it?”

“I know, right?”

“It’s a hundred times better than suicide. It’s how people find a moment to breathe.”

Dr. Ackerman then looked directly at Isaiah and spoke in a firm voice.

“So don’t blame yourself. It was probably the best choice you could have made in your situation.”

Perhaps the aftereffects of the hypnosis session hadn’t worn off yet. Isaiah felt another wave of emotion welling up. But he didn’t cry. The tip of his nose stung but he held back the tears. He had decided that whenever he felt like crying, he would tell himself he didn’t deserve to. Strangely, that seemed to work.

“Hmm, occupation… blank.”

“He’s helping me with my work.”

“I suppose so.”

Dr. Ackerman replied curtly. She clearly thought Isaiah was involved in organized crime. Well, it wasn’t entirely inaccurate, considering the illegal nature of their activities.

“Alright, before we begin the consultation, Bran…”

Bran seemed to anticipate what Dr. Ackerman was about to say. He stood up without protest, patted Isaiah’s shoulder, and said,

“Alright, have a good session. I’ll be right outside.”

Bran left the room, and the consultation began. Dr. Ackerman looked at Isaiah’s test results and asked him a few questions, mostly about his psychological state from the moment he woke up yesterday morning until now.

“I see. A man named Chester, with whom Bran is at odds… You felt constantly anxious around him and even when he didn’t have his gun out, you felt your life was in danger…”

Dr. Ackerman nodded as she continued typing on her keyboard.

“How do you feel about Bran?”

When Isaiah hesitated, Ackerman narrowed her eyes and offered a playful prompt.

“Do you find him annoying? Do you want to kill him? You can tell me. I won’t tell Bran.”

Isaiah just laughed. It wasn’t intentional. He simply didn’t know how to articulate his feelings.

So, he spoke honestly.

“I don’t know. Bran… I don’t really know Bran. But I think he’s better than Chester.”

“In what specific ways?”

“Um… I think he’ll be helpful to me. I mean, I have faith that Bran will be more helpful in recovering my memories and my identity.”

“And?”

“And, also…”

Isaiah hesitated for a moment, then spoke softly, adding, “And also, even if I don’t recover my memories…”

“So, if I were to be… disposed of by this organization, I think Bran would be better than Chester.”

“Isaiah.”

“No, really. Bran is better. No, I think I would be okay with Bran. That’s what I’m thinking right now. Yes.”

It’s true. Isaiah nodded emphatically.

“More than ‘better,’ it feels… right. Like it’s the natural order of things. I don’t know why… but yes, this feels right.”

Dr. Ackerman observed Isaiah quietly, then glanced down at the test results on her desk. She then nodded slowly.

“I see.”

Dr. Ackerman recorded exactly what Isaiah had just said into her computer.