CCS Ch 12
by soapaSemin let out a long sigh and picked up his phone again. Come to think of it, there must have been a lot of articles, but he hadn’t seen any of them. He opened his internet browser, and the first thing that popped up was the photography community site.
He was about to mindlessly navigate to the portal site when he paused. Yooho’s picture was prominently displayed on the site’s main page.
“Oh…”
He clicked on it, and it was the Best bulletin board, and a familiar nickname caught his eye.
Title: 2X0521 National Sports University Open Training Hyun Yooho
Author: Dadofdaughters
Content: Hyun Yooho pictures from yesterday~ ^^ It’s rough since I could only resize them―.―;;; but I’m uploading a few^^ haha Wow~ Even as a man, he’s really @[email protected] coolㅠ.ㅠ
Semin’s eyes widened as he scrolled through the pictures one by one. The clear, sharply focused photos, overflowing with a bold, blue hue as if they had captured the essence of the sea, were undeniably well-composed. He could almost see Yooho’s footsteps toward the lane, the movements slicing through the water, and the ragged breaths as he surfaced.
“…….”
The last picture was of Hyun Yooho taking off his swimming cap, running a hand through his wet hair, and smiling brightly. His gentle eyes and upturned lips made him look like he was always smiling faintly, even with a blank expression, but when he smiled with his eyes crinkling and his dimples showing, he looked like someone who had nothing to envy in the world.
Semin stared blankly at the screen for a while, his heart slowly churning. I should have taken pictures too. I wouldn’t have taken them this well, but maybe, just maybe, I could have captured this smile with my camera too…
“I should have taken something… I even brought all my equipment…”
Muttering to himself and regretting it wouldn’t change the past. Scrolling down to the comments, as expected, there was a string of compliments from members admiring the pictures.
BloodlessRoad: Wow~ Dadofdaughters-nim. Your pictures have gotten even better. By the way, I thought Hyun Yooho was Colorgenic-nim’s domain lol
⤷ Dadofdaughters: Actually, I went there to meet Colorgenic-nim and take pictures together~ ㅠㅠ But there was no signal inside, so we missed each other~ ㅠ
PhotoSquirrel: As expected of Dadofdaughters-nim~ You were extraordinary when capturing all kinds of birds in flight~ Your talent shines through in sports photography too^^
⤷ Dadofdaughters: Oh, I just took them without knowing anything haha haha I didn’t even know which lens to bring, so I just used the one I had on…^^
WifeApprovalPending: I was wondering why I felt empty lately, it’s because there haven’t been any Hyun Yooho pictures~ haha A feast for the eyes, thank you
⤷ Dadofdaughters: haha Colorgenic-nim needs to work hard
“Wow… He takes great pictures and he’s humble…”
He’s such a cool person… Semin muttered, tilting his head. He was suddenly ashamed of his surge of jealousy. He calmed himself and carefully typed a comment.
Colorgenic: Dadofdaughters-nim, all of your pictures are amazing. I was disappointed that I didn’t get any good shots, but seeing your pictures makes me feel better. I hope you’ll continue to take many more pictures of Hyun Yooho.
He posted the comment and looked at the pictures again, one by one. Even though he tried not to compare, the difference in skill was evident since they had captured the same subject. How much practice would it take to be this good? A mixture of envy, regret, and lingering jealousy churned within him.
“Should I have gone to the photo shoot…”
Would he have been able to learn something about photography? Lost in his belated regrets, his phone suddenly started ringing. Startled, he looked down to see an unknown number.
“……..”
Joseph’s face flashed through his mind. Maybe he found out that Semin had told Sungmin everything. A shiver ran down his spine. He just wanted to turn off the phone and pretend he didn’t know.
“…Hello.”
He was able to answer because the caller ID showed a Korean mobile number. Still unable to shake off his anxiety, his voice was barely a whisper when a clear male voice came from the other end.
― Colorgenic-nim?
“……..”
― Hello? Colorgenic-nim, it’s Dadofdaughters.
“…Ah.”
Semin replied blankly after a long pause. Part of the reason was the nickname he never expected to hear spoken aloud, but more than that, he was surprised by the man’s unexpectedly young and smooth voice. He had imagined ‘Dadofdaughters’ to be a round, middle-aged man, so he couldn’t reconcile that image with the slender, melodious voice on the phone.
“Ah, hello…”
― You gave me your number yesterday, but I’m only calling now. By the way, your voice… Colorgenic-nim, are you sick? Is that why you said you didn’t get any pictures?
“Yes, I’m… a little… unwell. Sorry.”
― I see, don’t be too disappointed. What are pictures anyway? Health is more important.
Putting aside his surprise and listening carefully, the warm and friendly tone was the same as the impression he had gotten online. Feeling a sense of relief, Semin cautiously asked,
“Yes, thank you. But why did you call?”
― Ah, right, right. It’s not about that… Oh, by the way, how old are you, Colorgenic-nim?
“My age…?”
― Well, we have a small group of members who regularly go on photo shoots and have photography study sessions. I contacted you because I thought you might be interested. But listening to your voice now, you sound… very young, so I was worried you might not enjoy being around a bunch of old guys.
The word ‘study’ stuck out from the long sentence. Semin blurted out without thinking,
“S, study… Does that mean I could learn from the members…?”
― Hey, Colorgenic-nim is not at a level where you need to learn from anyone. It’s just about sharing good tips with each other and splitting the costs for things like studio shoots.
“Splitting the costs…?”
― Uh… I mean, we share the cost. The studio rental fee.
“Ah…”
The studio rental fee must be very expensive. Semin nodded and then, belatedly remembering the first question, raised his voice slightly.
“Oh, I… I’m twenty years old.”
― What? Twenty? Really?
The man asked back in apparent shock. Semin instinctively cringed, thinking he’d made a mistake, but then the man burst into hearty laughter.
― Oh my, oh my. A son, a son.
“Haha…”
― So, would it be okay? The age range in the group is mostly in their forties and fifties.
“Well, yes. I… I’d be grateful to learn about photography.”
― Oh, come on, we’re not at a level to teach anyone… Anyway, would you like to come out this weekend? Are you free?
Semin readily replied, “Yes,” without a second thought. He was a little anxious about the sudden invitation, but he had a feeling it would be alright. The man continued,
― It’s Sunday. We have a professional model shoot at a studio near Hapjeong. The model fee and studio rental fee combined would be about… Ah, never mind. Colorgenic-nim, just come.
“Huh?”
― It’s your first time, and even so, it wouldn’t be right for a student to pay the same amount as these old guys. Just think of it as a trial run and come comfortably.
“No, it’s okay! It must be expensive…”
― Just this once, just this once. So I’ll take it that you’re coming? I’ll send you the details via text, so feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
“Uh…”
Before Semin could say anything else, the man quickly ended the conversation and hung up. Left alone, Semin scratched his chin, feeling uneasy. Was he being too much of a burden? He was worried, but he had no choice but to go.
***
Sungmin knocked on his door with a can of beer a little past 9 pm. Semin, startled awake from a light evening nap, hurried to the door. Thanks to spending the entire day in bed, he felt much better.
“Sit down for a second.”
Semin sat down on the bed as instructed. Sungmin pulled a desk chair closer, sat down, and opened the beer can. Her slender eyebrows furrowed with the pop of the can.
“Joseph asked me to look into his social media.”
“Ah, okay.”
It seemed like she was going to get straight to the point without any preamble. Semin, now fully awake, straightened up.
“To put it simply, he’s a scammer.”
“…Huh?”
“It’s called proxy betting, a scam where they lure people in by saying they’ll participate in online casino games for them, then they take the investment money and run. Joseph doesn’t directly participate, he just connects people and takes a commission. If someone invests 300, he takes 5%, which is 150,000 won, something like that.”
“……..”
“For that to work, people have to trust Joseph and give him money, so he uses all sorts of methods to make himself seem rich, with connections in politics, entertainment… He wants to make people think, ‘Would someone like this scam me for my small amount of money?’”
Sungmin explained carefully, but Semin barely understood. Only the part about ‘appealing with political connections’ caught his attention.
“So he was targeting you from the beginning…”
He couldn’t finish the sentence. Semin covered his face with both hands and rubbed his face dry. He finally understood Joseph’s strange behavior.
“I’m sorry, noona.”
Semin’s feelings truly meant nothing to Joseph. Only the pictures he took with Sungmin mattered.
“I should have told you sooner…”
“Semin.”
Sungmin pulled her chair closer. Her eyes, so similar to his, held an unusually firm gaze.
“I understand why you didn’t want to tell me.”
“No, noona. I…”
“But it was more important to you that I didn’t get hurt, right?”
“……..”
“Our Semin has already become an adult.”
He felt tears fall as her slender fingers brushed against his cheek. Semin leaned forward and buried his face in her lap. The hand that was stroking his cheek gently patted his shoulder.
“Thanks to you taking down the photos right away, the exposure wasn’t that high. The company will handle the rest, so don’t worry about anything.”
“…Okay.”
“It seems he was doing it for pocket money. I heard he’s still living in a $4,000 a month apartment even after Director Jung retired. He was covering his tuition and rent by downsizing, but it wasn’t enough. Then, he heard that he could make easy money by bringing in investors through social media, and he must have lost his mind.”
It wasn’t easy to connect the calm explanation with the Joseph he remembered. Semin muttered to himself in confusion,
“Why would he go so far…?”
Although not comparable to a corporate chairman, Joseph’s family was quite wealthy. The private middle school they attended cost 30 million won per year in tuition alone. He’d heard that Joseph’s older brother was studying abroad. Sungmin, easily understanding Semin’s question, lowered her voice slightly.
“Semin, in this world…”
“……..”
“There are people who are more easily swayed by momentary impulses than rational judgment.”
People who, when short on money, dream of striking it rich instead of finding a cheaper apartment or cutting back on entertainment expenses. People who don’t care if it means ruining someone else’s life.
“You’ll encounter countless people like that in the future, and you don’t need to try to understand them. Just pretend you didn’t see them and erase them from your life.”
Semin, after a moment of hesitation, nodded. He didn’t quite understand, but if Sungmin said so, it seemed like the right choice. Sungmin quickly finished her beer and stood up.
“If he contacts you again, tell me immediately. Okay?”
“…Okay.”
“Good boy. When did you grow up so much?”
The hand that stroked his hair carried the same warmth it had since he was born. Semin closed his eyes and deeply absorbed the sense of relief he hadn’t felt in a long time.
***
[Sorry ㅠㅠ I don’t think I can go to the gym today 12:22]
Yooho checked the message he’d received during lunch and smirked slightly. A familiar blue car was parked conspicuously in the gym’s parking lot. It seemed like Semin had tried to hide it by parking further inside, but with the other cars leaving like a receding tide after training, it had been completely exposed for a while.
As he strode towards the car with his hands in his pockets, he could almost see the flustered face inside. He tapped on the window, and the door opened shortly after. Semin smiled sheepishly as Yooho got into the passenger seat.
“You caught me.”
Semin didn’t have a fever, but Yooho still touched his cheek with the back of his hand. Semin chuckled and rubbed his face against Yooho’s hand.
“You seem to like surprises, Kang Semin.”
“That’s right, but this isn’t easy…”
“Are you planning to take me somewhere nice? How did you know I have a day off tomorrow?”
“Huh? Tomorrow?”
Judging by Semin’s startled reaction, it didn’t seem like he was acting. Hmm. Yooho narrowed his eyes, humming thoughtfully.
“What’s with this suspicious reaction?”
“No, no. I mean, every other Sunday… Oh, it really is tomorrow.”
“…….”
“What should I do? I have plans.”
Plans? Yooho asked lightly and brushed Semin’s hair back. Since all their communication and meetings were strictly scheduled around Yooho’s schedule, even if Semin couldn’t make it sometimes, it was Yooho who should be apologizing, not Semin. He was only asking out of curiosity.
“Who are you meeting?”
“Sanggu-hyung!”
Semin replied brightly to the casual question.
“…Who’s Sanggu-hyung?”
“Someone I met in the photography community. We’re meeting for the first time tomorrow.”
“What do you mean meeting someone for the first time when you’ve already met them…?”
“We haven’t met in person. We’ve only talked on the phone.”
“…….”
Is this okay? He felt like he was watching a child running around alone by a rushing stream. As Yooho fell silent, Semin started to explain eagerly.
“He said he would include me in the photography study group. We’ve talked a few times to discuss things, and we’ve already become close…”
“So you call someone you’ve never met before ‘hyung’? How old is he, and what does he do?”
“He said he’s thirty-nine. He got married very early, and his oldest daughter is already in high school. He works… uh… something related to construction… A public corporation.”
“Thirty-nine is not a ‘hyung’. Did he tell you to call him that?”
“Ah, no. It’s… he’s younger than my oldest brother…”
“…….”
“I told him I would call him that…”
As Semin’s voice trailed off, his eyes darted around. Yooho finally relaxed his stiff expression and smiled.
“Are you two meeting alone?”
“No, there are five other people. They all take pictures.”
“Hmm…”
Is this really okay? He met them online, so he wasn’t sure about their identities. Yooho asked again,
“Did you tell your family? That you’re meeting them?”
“Housekeeper Kim knows…”
“What about the director?”
“I haven’t seen noona for a few days. She’s been busy and seems to be staying at a hotel near the company. But, Yooho-ssi…”
Semin turned in his seat and leaned closer.
“Do you… not want me to go…?”
“…….”
“Should I not go?”
Yooho couldn’t help but chuckle at the forlorn tone. He pinched Semin’s lips with his thumb and forefinger and feigned displeasure.
“It’s your choice whether you go or not, but I’m curious about one thing.”
Semin, his mouth blocked, made a muffled sound, “Mmm.”
“You call a guy you’ve never met ‘hyung,’ but why do you still call me ‘Yooho-ssi’?”
“…….”
Semin blinked slowly. He looked like he’d never thought about it before. Yooho narrowed his eyes and gently shook Semin’s lips with his fingers.
“Huh? Why do only I get called ‘Yooho-ssi’?”
“Becauth…”
“Because?”
“Yoohoth-th-ssi ith Yoohoth-th-ssi…”
“I have no idea what you’re saying.”
Semin finally gave up and patted Yooho’s hand. As Yooho released his lips, Semin let out a puff of air and looked aggrieved.
“It’s weird to call you ‘hyung’.”
“I wasn’t necessarily saying you have to call me ‘hyung’… What’s weird about it?”
“Well, ‘hyung’ is… something you call… family, or someone like family. Someone older…”
“Yes…?”
“You’re not that old, and you’re not family… Well, it would be a big problem if you were family…”
Yooho chuckled, listening to Semin’s grumbling.
“Would it be a big problem if we were family?”
“Of course! How can family… do that kind of thing…”
Semin’s earlobes turned bright red as he mumbled in a small voice. Yooho unconsciously touched his red ear. Semin flinched, his shoulders stiffening, and blinked rapidly.
“Come to think of it… you said you wanted things to progress faster…”
“……..”
“Do you even know what that means?”
“O-of course I know.”
He answered so confidently that it made Yooho doubt him even more. Does he really know what he’s saying? Yooho tilted his head and trailed his thumb along the inside of Semin’s ear.
“Yooho-ssi, that tickles…”
“What good is knowing, if you’re just going to ditch me and go play with those old guys?”
“……..”
He gently rubbed Semin’s delicate ear cartilage, and Semin bit his lower lip. Yooho stared at his distressed eyes, then caressed his round cheek.
“I’m kidding. Have fun. I hope they’re good people.”
“…Ah.”
“Call me immediately if anything happens.”
“Yes…” Semin replied, drawing out the word. He still looked anxious, as if he’d done something wrong. After a moment of contemplation, Yooho decided to add,
“Think about the title thing.”
“Huh?” As he urged playfully, the pale face finally softened. Yooho pinched Semin’s cheek lightly and leaned in for a kiss.
***
He’d gone to bed early for once and had woken up to a peaceful, dreamless morning. Semin opened his eyes to the sound of birds chirping, checked his phone – he still had about ten minutes until his alarm – and stretched with a yawn.
After washing up, he opened the door to his dressing room. He’d been thinking of wearing a hoodie or a knit sweater as usual, but he changed his mind and took out a gray shirt. Considering the age range of the group, he thought it would be better not to look too young.
The studio was located in the basement of a five-story building near Hapjeong Station. Arriving a little earlier than the appointed time of 10 am, Semin first bought seven drinks at the cafe on the first floor. Carrying the drink tray in both hands with his bag on his back, he carefully navigated the stairs down to the studio.
The studio was already bustling. Men with dark, bulky equipment were gathered around the shooting spot, which was set up with backdrops and lighting. Semin gulped and cautiously spoke,
“Hello…”
His voice was faint and weak, unlike his earlier resolve, but thankfully, a man standing near the edge turned around. He was a tall man with a bright complexion, who looked to be in his mid-thirties. He saw Semin, his eyes widened, and then he approached with a welcoming smile.
“Are you Colorgenic-nim?”
“Ah, yes. I…”
“Welcome, no, come on in. I’m Sanggu-hyung.”
As the man spoke with a cheerful smile, the other men turned around as well. Unlike ‘Sanggu-hyung,’ they were middle-aged men of average build, looking their age.
“What, you brought drinks? I told you to just come.”
“I-it’s nothing. There’s a cafe on the first floor, so I just brought something light…”
“Dadofdaughters-nim, who is this? The idol friend you said was coming today?”
A voice came from the group of men. Sanggu paused, saying, “Ah,” and took the tray from Semin’s hands.
“No, this is Colorgenic-nim. He even bought us drinks.”
“What? Colorgenic-nim?”
“Who’s Colorgenic-nim?”
“Colorgenic-nim? No, I thought he was… I heard the model was bringing an idol friend, so I naturally assumed…”
Voices overlapped, and the men flocked around him. Semin suppressed the urge to step back and forced a smile.
“How old are you, Colorgenic-nim? You look very young.”
“I’m… t-twenty.”
“Twenty? Twenty? If you’re twenty this year, what year were you born?”
“Wow, Dadofdaughters-nim, I heard you two were becoming hyung and dongsaeng, so I thought you were at most around thirty. Aren’t you being a bit too shameless, Dadofdaughters-nim? Calling someone who’s barely older than your daughter ‘hyung’.”
“Hey, I’m being wrongly accused! I specifically told him to call me ‘uncle,’ but our Colorgenic-nim insisted on calling me ‘hyung’.”
“Really? How can you call this old man ‘hyung’? Colorgenic-nim, be honest. Were you threatened? Dadofdaughters-nim pretends he doesn’t, but he’s got a huge baby-face complex…”
He was overwhelmed by the barrage of questions from all sides. The corners of his forced smile trembled. As he stood there at a loss, Sanggu started handing out the drinks, saying, “Here, here.”
“Let’s talk later and have a drink first. Our Colorgenic-nim bought these with his allowance so we could quench our thirst.”
“Ah, right. Colorgenic-nim, thank you. I’ll enjoy it.”
“But you don’t have to bring anything next time. My wife would scold me for taking drinks from a young friend like this.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just come next time. It’s good to have someone lower the average age.”
He could finally breathe comfortably after the topic shifted. Sanggu patted Semin’s relaxed shoulders.
“They’re just being overly enthusiastic, they’re all glad you’re here.”
“No, thank… thank you.”
“Wow, but I was really surprised. You’re popular, aren’t you? You’re much more handsome than the idol my daughter likes. She’d go crazy if she saw you and ask for an introduction.”
“Huh? No… I’ve never heard that before…”
“Come on, there’s no way. Everyone has the same taste. You must be a star at school.”
Semin clutched his bag strap, bewildered. He had no experience with being popular among his peers, so it didn’t quite register. They’re probably just being nice because he’s young. Composing himself, Semin offered a vague smile. Sanggu grinned and changed the subject.
“By the way, have you ever taken portraits indoors? I’ve only seen you post pictures of Hyun Yooho.”
“This is my first… proper studio shoot.”
“Never? This is your first time in a studio?”
Semin was about to answer instinctively, then closed his mouth. It wasn’t his first time in a studio. He’d been to one when he accompanied Yooho for a shoot.
“……..”
He recalled Yooho smiling leisurely amidst the flashing strobe lights. Semin swallowed dryly unconsciously. It was because he also remembered what had happened there.
“Well, it hasn’t been long since you started photography, right? Try it out today. You’ll enjoy it.”
Sanggu smoothly ended the conversation, leaving Semin, who hadn’t answered, alone. He seemed accustomed to dealing with people of few words. Semin nodded and carefully set down his equipment.
The model was a tall woman in her mid-twenties. Although her profession was modeling, she was majoring in fashion design and said she wanted to take pictures wearing clothes she had made herself.
“It’s good for her because she gets free portfolio pictures, and it’s good for us because we can practice portrait photography with a professional model without paying a high model fee. It’s a win-win. She usually charges a lot.”
Sanggu added an explanation. Semin nodded, thinking it was fortunate that the model fee wasn’t too high. The model had hung up several somewhat unconventional outfits, such as a dress with various checkered patterns and a shirt with only one long sleeve, and explained which parts of each outfit should be emphasized.
“It’s a bit demanding, right? Photos with a specific purpose are all like that.”
“Purpose?”
“For example, today’s main focus is the clothes, not the model. Sometimes it could be shoes or accessories, or even makeup. Even if you’re taking a picture of a person, you always have to think about what the main subject of the photo is.”
“Ah…”
“Especially in studio shoots, since you’re shooting without natural light, using only artificial lighting, you need the skills to make fine adjustments to the camera. You’ll get the hang of it after a few tries.”
The model came out wearing the first outfit. Standing tall in high heels, she began to scan the cameras one by one with a sharp gaze. Semin instinctively pressed the shutter as soon as their eyes met.
The model changed her pose slightly with every click of the shutter. She also didn’t forget to adjust her gaze. The clothes he had considered unconventional blended smoothly with her skillful posing and charisma, not looking out of place at all.
Professional models really are different… Semin thought admiringly, tightening his grip on the camera. He hadn’t taken many pictures while the other members were pressing the continuous shooting button and flashing their strobes, but even in those few shots, the model shone vibrantly.
“What should we have for lunch? What do you want, Yuna-ssi?”
Sanggu asked the model, who had stepped out of the lighting to change outfits. She smiled and shook her head.
“I’ll eat after the shoot.”
“No drinks either?”
“I brought water.”
As she entered the changing room, the members huddled together and started reviewing the pictures they had taken. Since they had surrounded the model in a fan shape, the angles captured in their viewfinders were all different.
“Amazing. There are seven cameras, and she’s checking every single one.”
“That’s what makes her a pro. An amateur would just be flustered.”
“Did you take a lot of pictures, Colorgenic-nim? You said it was your first time in a studio, right?”
“Ah, yes. I didn’t take many, but…”
As he hesitantly held out his camera, Sanggu was the first to peer at the screen. Semin felt embarrassed by the sudden attention. They’ll probably think I’m terrible. He worried anxiously, but to his surprise, the members praised him.
“Wow, didn’t you say it was your first time in a studio? These are good.”
“Colorgenic-nim has a talent for portraits. Didn’t you cause a stir with those amazing pictures of Hyun Yooho?”
“That’s right. It’s like you capture a story in your pictures, you know? I bet if you did a proper one-on-one shoot with a model, it would be amazing.”
Overwhelmed by the stream of compliments, Semin avoided their gaze. Then, a member wearing glasses suddenly asked,
“By the way, Colorgenic-nim, how did you end up taking pictures of Hyun Yooho?”
All eyes were on him again at the unexpected question. Semin stammered, wetting his dry lips, “Uh…”
“Do you know him? You only seem to take pictures of Hyun Yooho.”
“Well…”
His mind raced faster than ever. What should he say? Would it be better to pretend he didn’t know? Would he cause trouble for Yooho…?
“Oh? You really do know him?”
Unfortunately, that hesitation created an opening. Semin ended up nodding slightly.
“We’ve just met a few times…”
He decided to add a belated lie. However, the interest in the famous star only intensified.
“Really? How?”
“My sister… works at Lee Kang Dairy.”
“Lee Kang Dairy? The Lee Kang Milk company? What does Hyun Yooho have to do with Lee Kang Dairy?”
“Aren’t they the main sponsor? The biggest logo on Hyun Yooho’s uniform is Lee Kang Dairy.”
“Ah, I see. So that’s how you started taking his pictures?”
Semin could only nod after a long pause. It was true that he had become interested because Yooho was sponsored by Lee Kang Dairy, but that alone wouldn’t have made him want to photograph Hyun Yooho.
“Oh, the model’s back.”
The members got up and headed back to the lighting. Semin picked up his camera and stood up a beat later. The model, now changed into her second outfit, stood on the spot marked with T-shaped tape.
“Colorgenic-nim, hurry up.”
Even as he moved at Sanggu’s urging, the question that had been planted in his mind wouldn’t fade. ―How did you end up taking pictures of Hyun Yooho? It was the same question Yooho had once asked him.
‘What were you thinking when you took that picture?‘
He could vividly recall the color of Yooho’s eyes at that moment, as he gazed intently at him. Perhaps, that was the moment he should have picked up his camera? The large window, where the bright sunlight streamed in, creating the perfect lighting. The person sitting across the luxuriously decorated table, his eyes the same as when he stood before the lane.
“…….”
His hand holding the camera slipped.
What am I doing here?
Yooho only had Sundays off every two weeks, and even then, only in the afternoon. He could participate in the study group anytime. So, he should have gone to see Yooho.
Why didn’t he? It was true that he felt bad about missing his appointment with Sanggu. But when he told Yooho he had to come here, he hadn’t thought about any of that.
He just wanted to take good pictures. He was envious of the pictures others had taken of Hyun Yooho. He thought that if he came here, he could pick up some tips and at least imitate them.
But was that more important than seeing Hyun Yooho right now?
It was just past noon. Semin finally put down his camera and spoke in a strained voice.
“I’m sorry… but I think I have to go.”
The shutter sounds stopped, and the members turned around in surprise. Semin racked his brain, but he couldn’t come up with a plausible excuse.
“Sorry. I’m not feeling well…”
So, he blurted out something he would never normally say. Sanggu signaled the members to continue shooting and followed Semin to the entrance.
“Are you okay? Are you still feeling the effects of being sick before?”
“Yes, maybe…”
“Can you go alone? Should I call you a cab?”
“It’s okay. I brought my car.”
“…Your car?”
“You don’t have to come out. Thank you for today.”
He finished his hasty goodbyes and climbed the stairs. His heart pounded as he fumbled for his car keys. Yooho would probably be leaving the gym and heading back to his accommodation by now.
Seoul was horribly congested on a weekend afternoon. He drove onto the road, anxiously watching the estimated arrival time of 42 minutes.
As soon as he entered the building, he got on the elevator and pressed the button for the 7th floor. He didn’t know the exact apartment number, but he remembered where Yooho’s room was. When he arrived at the door, he wondered if he should have contacted Yooho beforehand, but he was too impatient to regret it now. He rang the doorbell and fidgeted nervously. The door opened shortly after.
“Oh.”
Yooho smiled as if amused but didn’t seem surprised at all. The scent of soap mixed with the smell of water lingered in the air, suggesting he’d showered recently. He was wearing a white cotton T-shirt and gray sweatpants. He looked like someone who’d been home all day.
Semin reached out without a word and hugged Yooho around the neck. His fingers brushed against Yooho’s damp hair. Yooho kissed Semin’s forehead, wrapped an arm around his waist, and pulled him inside. The door clicked shut behind them, Semin’s head tilted back, and their lips met. Yooho’s breath, warm against his lips, carried the heat of a land creature.
The narrow entrance, with its cheap tiles, felt cramped with the two of them standing so close. The heels of his sneakers scraped against the floor with a squeak. Feeling the cool surface of the shoe cabinet door against the back of his neck, Semin shivered involuntarily. Yooho pressed closer, his body almost pinning Semin against him, and tilted his head.
“…Mm.”
Yooho’s tongue delved deep, grazing the roof of Semin’s mouth. The ticklish sensation sent shivers down his spine and made his cheeks tingle. As his strength gave way and he stumbled, a firm knee slipped between his legs. He could feel the defined muscles beneath the thin sweatpants pressed against the sensitive skin of his inner thighs.
“Ah, uh…”
He tried to steady himself, but Yooho held his waist firmly, preventing him from moving. As Semin twisted his body, letting out ragged breaths, he froze. He had distinctly felt a long, thick, column-like flesh against Yooho’s inner thigh.
“…….”
Their lips parted, and their noses brushed against each other. Semin glanced down at his hand, then looked up at Yooho. Yooho was smiling faintly, a slightly embarrassed expression on his face.
“…Is this… that…?”
Semin’s ears burned as he forced the words out, gathering what little courage he had. It must be something in his pocket, he thought. A water bottle, a dumbbell, anything… but not a part of his body. But then again, it felt too soft to be an object… Yooho chuckled, watching Semin’s confused expression.
“Aren’t you being a bit too bold with your touching?”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
As Semin pulled his hand away as if he’d been burned, their lips met again. This time, a shallower kiss accompanied the upward slide of his shirt. Yooho’s hand slipped beneath his shirt, tracing his spine and gripping his side.
“Ah, wait…”
Yooho’s thumb and forefinger separated, his hand moving upwards, and his fingers closed around Semin’s nipple. He playfully pinched and tugged at it. Semin blushed furiously and pushed against Yooho’s shoulder.
“Wait a second…”
“No? Too fast?”
Yooho stopped and placed a quick kiss on Semin’s cheek. Semin quickly shook his head.
“It’s not that… I think I might smell like sweat…”
“Sweat? I don’t smell anything.”
Yooho nuzzled Semin’s neck as he spoke.
“You smell good.”
“I still feel self-conscious… I sweated a lot earlier.”
He felt even more self-conscious because the man in front of him, with his impeccably clean face, smelled so fresh. Yooho hummed and started unbuttoning Semin’s shirt one by one.
“I don’t smell anything.”
“You do, because you smell good right now… Ah!”
Yooho nuzzled his nose against Semin’s collarbone, and then a soft sucking sound came from his chest. Semin flinched and curled up, hugging Yooho’s head tightly. As if waiting for this, Yooho bent down, wrapped his arms around Semin’s waist, and lifted him up.
“…Gasp!”
Semin’s feet left the ground unexpectedly, and he flailed, clinging to Yooho. He felt like his head might hit the ceiling. Yooho held Semin securely, his arms strong and steady, and even took off his shoes one by one.
“P-put me down, Yooho-ssi…!”
“I will. Don’t worry.”
Yooho carried him to the bed and gently laid him down. Semin stared blankly as Yooho took off his shirt, standing between his knees. Yooho’s lean, muscular body, a perfect inverted triangle, always seemed unreal to him. Semin tore his gaze away with difficulty and forced himself to speak.
“Wh… what’s with suddenly lifting me like that?”
“Were you surprised? Sorry.”
“I wasn’t surprised… What if you get hurt…”
“Can I take your shirt off?”
Yooho asked again, holding the collar of Semin’s already half-unbuttoned shirt. Semin bit his lip and nodded. Yooho finished unbuttoning the shirt and whispered softly,
“Why are you dressed so nicely today?”
“This…?”
“Hmm… you look like you put some effort in. It’s different from when you usually see me.”
“…Ah. That’s because everyone is older than me… so I thought it would be better to dress neatly…”
Yooho slipped Semin’s arm out of the shirt sleeve. Semin instinctively lifted his bare arm, then paused. His pale, thin arm looked particularly frail today. It looked even more so next to Yooho’s strong wrist.
“Yoo… Yooho-ssi…”
As he averted his gaze and spoke in a strained voice, Yooho stopped moving. He placed a hand beside Semin’s head, brought his face closer, and whispered softly,
“Tell me if you’re scared. I’ll stop.”
“……..”
“Tell me if you don’t like it. You can stop for any reason. This isn’t something so important that you have to endure it.”
Ah. Semin sighed silently and wrapped his arms around Yooho’s neck. His nose stung. He felt pathetic for constantly shrinking back for reasons Yooho wouldn’t even care about.
“…Yooho-ssi.”
Yooho’s back, bare from his shirt, was smooth and soft. Yooho hummed in response and kissed Semin deeply on the neck.
“You have to tell me if I smell like sweat…”
Yooho burst into laughter, and his warm breath spread to Semin’s chest.
“I will. I promise.”
“Okay, promise…”
“Can I touch you now?”
“Yes, you can… Hmm…!”
Before he could finish, warm lips enveloped his chest. Yooho’s tongue darted out, licking and sucking on his nipple. Semin’s knees came up, his heels scraping against the sheets, and his mouth opened and closed soundlessly.
“H-hey, I didn’t say you could s-suck…”
As if responding to his weak protest, a large hand grabbed his belt. Yooho unbuckled it skillfully, lowered the zipper, and slipped his hand inside his pants. Semin hiccuped as Yooho’s hand cupped his buttock over his boxers.
“Ah…”
Yooho’s long fingers traced his hip and reached his perineum. His lips brushed against Semin’s rapidly blinking eyes.
“Don’t be scared. I’m not going to put it in.”
“Huh? Put what in?”
“……..”
Yooho paused briefly, a picture-perfect smile on his face. It was a smile that seemed to suggest he’d given up on something.
“I knew this would happen…”
“…?”
“You really said all those things about wanting to move things along without knowing anything? How are you going to deal with the consequences?”
“Huh? No, I want to… have s-sex… no, I mean… anyway… I want to do that… with you… I know, I know, but…?”
Even to his own ears, his hastily strung-together words sounded unconvincing. Semin desperately tried to figure out what he was missing. He remembered the R-rated queer movies he had watched after locking his door. The main characters kissed and touched each other’s bodies, and they felt pleasure from that alone. So that’s how it is between men. He had understood easily and thought he was doing well with Yooho, but…
“No. Don’t worry about it.”
What don’t I know? While he was pondering, Yooho muttered nonchalantly and lowered his head. He kissed Semin near his navel and gently pulled down the waistband of his boxers.
“Ah…”
His half-erect penis sprung free from the waistband. A slight tremor ran through him at the resurfacing of his forgotten embarrassment. Yooho pushed Semin’s knees up, slipped off his underwear, and wrapped a hand around his penis.
“Hmm…”
Blood rushed to a place he’d never imagined would be touched by another person, let alone Hyun Yooho. Semin tilted his head back, clutching the sheets, not knowing what to do. But the truly unexpected thing happened next. Yooho lowered his head and took Semin’s penis into his mouth.
“Gasp…!”
A warm, almost hot tongue swirled around his glans and enveloped his shaft. Semin, unable to comprehend the situation, struggled and tried to sit up. As if expecting this, Yooho gripped Semin’s thighs and pressed them firmly against his shoulders.
“Yooho-ssi, h-hey, th-this… Haa…!”
The soft tip of Yooho’s tongue traced every inch of his sensitive skin, sucking with a savoring motion. The ticklish sensation sent shivers down his spine. Yooho took his fully hardened penis deep into his mouth, licking every inch without leaving a single gap.
“Nn, hmm… Yes…”
He couldn’t endure the intense stimulation that continued for a long time. Feeling the approaching climax, Semin gasped and reached out.
“Stop, h-hic, Yooho-ssi… I, I can’t anymore…”
Yooho intertwined his fingers with Semin’s flailing hands, pinning them to the bed. He tilted his head up slightly, forcing Semin to face him, his cheeks puffed out around Semin’s penis. He looked directly into Semin’s eyes, his tongue darting out to lick, then sucking again until the tip was deep in his throat.
“Haa…!”
Semin let out a moan that was almost a scream and shook his head violently. He tried to pull away, but with both hands pinned down, it was impossible.
“Yoo… Yooho-ssi, h-hic, I, I think I’m going to… going to… Ah… Let go…”
“Yes.”
A muffled voice was all he heard, but Yooho didn’t budge. Semin squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth. Tears welled up in his eyes, embarrassed by the involuntary wave of orgasm washing over him. The thought of soiling Yooho’s mouth made him want to die.
“…Ugh, h-stop, I c-can’t… Ah… Ah!”
Semin’s eyes flew open as he writhed, a sob escaping his lips. His chest heaved, and a red heat spread through his body like a drop of paint on wet paper. His lower abdomen tightened, and a tremor, almost a spasm, ran through his inner thighs.
“Ah…”
Yooho released his hands, but Semin couldn’t move. His vision flickered, and his toes twitched. Semin bit his lip and closed his eyes. Tears streamed down his temples. Yooho, who was sitting up and wiping his mouth, paused at the sight.
“Semin?”
“…Sob.”
“Kang Semin. What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“Hng, I’m sorry. I’m s-sorry…”
Yooho quickly pulled Semin into his arms. Semin sat on Yooho’s lap, his face buried in Yooho’s shoulder, his shoulders shaking for a long time.
“What’s wrong? Did you hate it that much?”
His bare shoulder was quickly soaked with tears. Yooho, flustered, kissed Semin’s ear and stroked his back. Semin shook his head and mumbled something, but Yooho couldn’t hear him clearly.
“Were you surprised?”
“…No.”
“Huh?”
“No, hic, I’m sorry I… I couldn’t hold back…”
Semin hiccuped repeatedly, unable to finish his sentence. Yooho gently pulled Semin back and looked at him carefully. His small face, smeared with tears and snot, was flushed red.
“Hold back what?”
He wiped Semin’s wet cheek with his palm and asked. Semin’s gaze fell on Yooho’s lips. Then, as if he couldn’t bring himself to say it aloud, he averted his eyes. Yooho finally chuckled and pointed to his own mouth.
“Are you apologizing for cumming in my mouth?”
“No, no, don’t, don’t be so blunt.”
Semin flinched as if he’d heard something obscene, then nodded after a moment. The tears gathered on his eyelashes dripped onto Yooho’s chest.
“You didn’t hate it, right?”
“No, it felt good, but…”
He was quick to answer that. Yooho finally chuckled and licked Semin’s cheek. Salty tears coated his lips and trickled onto his tongue.
“It felt good to me too.”
He gently nipped and released Semin’s warm, soft cheek, and Semin sniffled, meeting his gaze.
“It’s… dirty…”
“Yours isn’t dirty.”
“……..”
“So stop crying. You surprised me, I thought something was wrong.”
After soothing him with several kisses on his cheek, Semin’s breathing gradually calmed down. Once he calmed down, he seemed embarrassed by his sudden outburst, his eyes darting around. Did I overdo it for my first time? Feeling apologetic, Yooho was about to say something when Semin spoke.
“Then can I try too…?”
“……..”
Try what? Semin’s gaze was fixed so intently on Yooho’s crotch that it was impossible to misunderstand. Yooho laughed in disbelief and nudged Semin’s chin with his lips.
“Try what?”
“What you just did to me…”
“I said no. You don’t have to.”
“I thought about it, and I don’t think I’d hate… yours either…”
“……..”
“…I want to try.”
Yooho found himself staring intently at Semin’s lips. His face was so small it could be covered with one hand, and his mouth was small too. From their kisses, Yooho knew that the inside was just as small.
“Later. Not today.”
“Why…?”
Semin’s lips pouted in disappointment. Instead of explaining, Yooho pressed his lips against Semin’s neck. He gently sucked on the skin where Semin’s neck met his shoulder, and Semin moaned softly, his body trembling. His pale skin was flushed red in places.
“Give me your hand.”
Yooho wrapped one arm around Semin’s waist and took his wrist with the other, placing his hand on his thigh. As Semin touched his swollen penis, his hand flinched.
“It’s bigger than before…”
Semin’s voice was dazed, tinged with fear. Yooho whispered in his ear,
“That’s because I got hard while touching you.”
He could feel the fine hairs on Semin’s cheek stand on end. He pulled down Semin’s sweatpants and boxers together, and his erect penis sprang free.
“Oh…”
A sigh escaped Semin’s lips as he looked down at the penis, now standing proudly against his abdomen. Thick veins were wrapped around the smooth, hairless shaft. The large, pristine penis, only the tip flushed red, looked almost inhuman.
“Well…”
Since they were both men, the basic structure was the same. Even so, Semin couldn’t quite process the sight before him. It was simply too big. He’d thought it was a considerable size even through his clothes, but now, fully erect, it was even more surreal. It felt like he was looking at a drawing or a model.
“……..”
Semin hesitated, then cautiously reached out and touched it. He couldn’t even wrap his hand around it completely. Could he really put this in his mouth? The mere thought made his jaw ache. He was frozen, unsure what to do, when Yooho smiled and flicked his forehead.
“Relax. I won’t hurt you.”
“…Ah.”
Yooho pulled Semin closer, his arms around him, and leaned back on the bed. He grabbed a pillow and placed it under Semin’s waist. Semin looked bewildered, his waist suddenly lifted. Yooho brought Semin’s knees together, resting them on his shoulder, and pressed his lips against his shin.
“I’m a little sorry. I feel like I made you think unnecessary things.”
Semin shook his head at the words, spoken while Yooho gently nipped at his calf, even though he didn’t understand what Yooho meant. Yooho trailed his lips down to Semin’s ankle, caressing the inside of his thighs. As he rubbed the soft, sensitive skin, Semin flinched slightly.
“Can I… use this?”
“Use…?”
“Hmm…”
Yooho licked the back of Semin’s ankle. At the same time, he pushed his penis between Semin’s thighs.
“Ah…”
The hot, hard shaft rubbed against the sensitive skin where his thighs met. Yooho pushed against Semin’s knees, his shoulder pressing into the back of Semin’s knees, and Semin’s body curled up.
“Nn, hmm…”
As he moaned in frustration, Yooho pulled back slightly. But since his knees were still pressed together, Yooho’s penis only grazed against him as it slipped out. A strange sensation, different from the direct stimulation, made Semin gasp.
“Wh-what is this…?”
“I wonder.”
Yooho stroked Semin’s hair and pushed his hips forward again, deeper this time. The tip of his penis, rubbing against Semin’s perineum, suddenly nudged upwards, just below his testicles.
“…Hic.”
Semin flinched, a small gasp escaping his lips. Yooho let out a short breath and pressed his hips down firmly.
“This is… just pretending to put it in…”
“……..”
“I won’t do it if you don’t like it.”
Semin cautiously raised his head. Yooho’s gaze was still calm, but his dark, round eyes were slightly hazy. His usually gentle eyes looked a little flushed.
…Is he aroused?
Reaching this simple conclusion, Semin wrapped his arms around Yooho’s leg.
“Do you… want to put it in?”
Yooho stiffened slightly at the question, asked while meeting his gaze. Before he could say anything, Semin added hastily,
“How… how do you do it between men…? Can I do it?”
He wanted to fulfill any desire Yooho might have. He thought he might see an even more unguarded expression then. As if sensing Semin’s anxiety, Yooho stroked his forehead.
“You don’t have to… No, we can’t do it today anyway.”
“Why…?”
“We don’t have anything to prepare with.”
Prepare with? As Semin blinked in confusion, Yooho started moving his hips again. His penis slipped out almost completely, then thrust back in with a thud, and Semin gasped softly.
“Nn, hmm…”
The arousal that had subsided began to build again slowly. As if responding to it, Yooho’s thrusts gradually became faster. Semin’s hair swayed with each movement. It was a sensation he’d never experienced before. Every time Yooho’s hard thighs hit his buttocks, a sharp pain, like a slap, mixed with the friction of sensitive skin rubbing together, overwhelmed him.
“Ah…!”
A cry escaped his lips at the sudden, intense contact. Tears welled up in his eyes, and his toes curled. Yooho stopped and asked,
“Sorry, did that hurt?”
“N-no…”
Actually, it did hurt. His legs, draped over Yooho’s shoulders, his skin, constantly stimulated, his back, arched and pressed down. No matter how careful Yooho was, his strong physique was a strain on Semin.
He was able to endure it because he could feel Yooho’s breath growing hotter with each repetition. Semin liked physical intimacy, but he had never thought deeply about the sexual aspect of touching another person’s body. He simply felt a strong urge to touch Yooho, without imagining the specific form it would take.
Fortunately, the answer was in the act itself. Semin wanted to see Yooho consumed by pleasure. He wanted to see beneath his composed and calm exterior.
“I-it doesn’t hurt. So…”
But he also knew that this much wouldn’t be enough. Semin tugged at Yooho’s arm and whispered urgently,
“You can be… rougher…”
Yooho seemed to laugh. Or maybe he just sighed. He couldn’t tell for sure, because as soon as Semin finished speaking, his vision blurred with a thud.
“Ugh…”
The skin from the back of his thighs to his buttocks burned. A thick shaft, pushing through his flushed skin, was prodding his lower abdomen. It felt as if Yooho was inside him. Semin trembled, but a faint sense of satisfaction washed over him.
“…I’m dying.”
Yooho muttered above him, his voice raspy.
“Stop encouraging me… what are you trying to do?”
Despite his words, his tone sounded impatient. Semin panted, lifting his hips slightly higher. The small room was quickly filled with the sound of their mingled breaths and the friction of their skin. His body, practically folded in half, kept slipping in their combined fluids.
“Haa… Nn, hmm…”
A vague sense of climax washed over him every time Yooho’s heavy thrusts pressed down on him. Semin unconsciously reached down and started stroking himself clumsily. Yooho’s hand covered his, pushing Semin’s hand away.
“Ah, uh! Y-Yooho-ssi…”
Yooho’s hand gripped his penis fully, his thumb rubbing against his glans, while he continued to press against his perineum relentlessly, and Semin couldn’t take it anymore. A wave of electric pleasure coursed through him. He gasped, tilting his head back, his body convulsing with each spurt. His muscles tightened, his thighs clenching around Yooho, and Yooho’s brow furrowed. Sensing the end, he thrust deep one last time. With a thud, Semin’s hand flew up in the air at the rough movement.
“Haa…”
With a low groan from Yooho, thick semen erupted. Since Semin’s hips were raised, it flowed down to his chest. Yooho stared at the white liquid coating his swollen nipples, then slowly lowered his body. Semin, limp, sensed his intention and opened his lips with the last of his strength.
The kiss was slow, as always. The mingled fluids had a slightly salty taste. Sweet and sticky.
***
“……Hyun Yooho, with a final spurt! He’s coming…!”
Semin’s shoulders twitched at the sudden sound that pierced his consciousness. A large hand immediately stroked his back. It felt like an apology for waking him. Semin instinctively burrowed into the warmth of Yooho’s chest.
“Mmm…”
“Go back to sleep.”
Yooho whispered softly and kissed the side of Semin’s head. Semin rested his forehead against Yooho’s neck and blinked slowly. When did he fall asleep?
He vaguely remembered washing up. He also remembered bursting into laughter because the T-shirt Yooho had put on him was too big. As he started dozing off, lulled by Yooho’s hand drying his hair, Yooho had sat him on his lap, letting him lean against his shoulder. His last memory was of closing his eyes, soothed by the clean, soft skin against his cheek, the warmth of Yooho’s body, and the familiar scent of soap.
“What time is it…?”
“4:30.”
“Ah…”
“You can sleep more. Sorry, I accidentally pressed the wrong button.”
Since he’d said he would have dinner and go home, they still had time. Semin suddenly felt happy. He could hardly believe that Yooho was still by his side even after he woke up, that they didn’t have to part ways yet.
“What are you watching?”
Semin, feeling giddy, asked as he kissed Yooho’s chin. Yooho chuckled and held up his phone.
“Just… old competition videos.”
“I want to watch too…”
“Why would you watch this when you’re awake?”
Yooho wrapped his arms tightly around Semin’s waist. Semin giggled as Yooho’s hand slipped under his shirt and gently squeezed his side.
“Are you watching a video of you winning first place?”
“Just random ones with commentary. It’s good for image training.”
“I see…”
The bed was barely big enough for Yooho alone. If they wanted to lie down together, they had no choice but to face each other and cuddle. Semin pushed his feet against the bed, pressing his body closer to Yooho and tilting his head back as far as it would go. Yooho chuckled and kissed Semin’s cheek.
“Don’t look…”
Semin groaned and puckered his lips. Trapped between the wall and Yooho’s body, it wasn’t easy to move freely. Yooho hummed, drawing out the sound, then lay back, pulling Semin on top of him.
“…Whoa.”
Semin blinked rapidly, now unexpectedly lying on top of Yooho. Yooho, unfazed, pointed to his lips. Here. He mouthed the word, and Semin, finally giving in to laughter, carefully leaned forward.
As he gently kissed and nibbled on Yooho’s smooth cheek, Yooho’s hand moved up his thigh. His fingers traced Semin’s hip and waist, and he asked cautiously,
“Is this a scar from surgery?”
Semin paused and looked down at the spot where Yooho’s hand rested. It was a faint, uneven line that ran from the bottom of his ribs to near his navel.
“Ah, yes. When I was a baby…”
“What kind of surgery?”
“Just, it wasn’t anything serious.”
Semin pulled down his shirt, feeling slightly embarrassed. Yooho opened his mouth as if to ask more, then pointed to his own right shoulder.
“Do you want to touch my scar?”
“…….”
He was talking about his injury scar. Semin swallowed unconsciously.
Yooho had ruptured a shoulder tendon two years ago, right before the Olympic season. At the time, his coach had said he didn’t want to miss the chance to compete in the Olympics, an opportunity that came during the athlete’s prime at twenty-two.
“Everyone tried to stop me. The doctor, the trainer, my family, my friends… They all said I should stop training immediately and focus on treatment.”
The arthroscopic surgery scars were a series of small, dotted circles. Semin, as if mesmerized, touched Yooho’s hard chest with his fingertips.
“But my coach was adamant. He said I could manage with medication until the Olympics, and then have surgery afterwards. He said it would be cruel to me as an athlete if I missed this opportunity…”
“…Why?”
“He thought that was my only chance to win an Olympic medal. There were also rumors that the athlete who held the world record for the 1500m wouldn’t be competing in the long-distance events. He thought I could win gold, so he believed it was the right choice for me to compete, even if it meant pushing my body to the limit for a while.”
He couldn’t even lift his arm above his head without painkillers, but he followed his coach’s advice. He barely managed to make it to the competition. I have to bet on this opportunity. If I miss it, there won’t be another. He repeated the words he’d heard countless times like a mantra.
“But as soon as I finished qualifying for the finals and got out of the water, I collapsed.”
“…….”
“When a part of your body hurts so much that it feels like it’s dying, you can’t even stand up straight. It hurt so much I wanted to just cut off my arm.”
The doctor, who had recommended non-surgical treatment and stopping training, now said he needed surgery immediately. It sounded like a death sentence for his career as an athlete. Could he return to the lane after having his torn tendon stitched up? It was a hopeless story, something anyone would have doubted.
“Was that the coach you terminated your contract with right after?”
Semin asked, frowning deeply. He looked like he didn’t even want to think about it. Yooho chuckled and pressed his fingers against Semin’s forehead. Relax your face.
“That’s right. He insisted he did nothing wrong until the very end. He said he would do anything to win an Olympic gold medal for his athlete.”
“How could he say such a thing… It’s not even his shoulder.”
Semin grumbled, rubbing Yooho’s scar. The risk of injury was always present for athletes, but wasn’t it the staff’s job to minimize that risk? He still got chills when he thought about the time the media was buzzing with the news of Yooho’s withdrawal.
“That must have been hard…”
At Semin’s gloomy voice, Yooho grinned, seemingly unfazed. Semin stared at him and tilted his head, asking,
“Weren’t you resentful?”
“Towards that coach?”
“I think I would have been really resentful… I would have cursed at him…”
“You know how to curse?”
Semin puffed out his cheeks, which Yooho was holding. He always had a tendency to change the subject. Yooho feigned pain for a while before continuing,
“Of course I was resentful. I wanted to punch him.”
“You hit people?”
“I wanted to. But… my grandmother taught me a method.”
Yooho took Semin’s hands and intertwined their fingers. Semin gazed at him, letting Yooho play with his hands.
“When it’s hard to control your emotions, when you’re too angry, sad, or frustrated, think about what you want.”
“What I want…?”
“She said anger always comes from dissonance. Anger is the emotion that arises when your desired state and your actual state are different. So when you’re angry, the first thing you should do is think about what you want to do right now.”
“…….”
“I hated being injured, I didn’t want to end my career as an athlete, and I wanted to stand on the lane again. To do that, I had to have surgery and start rehabilitation immediately, so I didn’t have time to resent anyone.”
So I didn’t think about it. Semin felt a strange sense of déjà vu as he engraved the calm voice in his mind.
“That sounds similar to what my sister said.”
“Really?”
There will be countless people like Joseph in the future. Don’t try to understand them, don’t get involved with them, just let them go. Don’t get caught up in their malicious intent. Semin could finally understand those words a little better now.
“How was your day?”
Yooho asked slowly, sitting up. Semin, whose hands were still held by Yooho, sat up as well and tucked his knees to one side. Since he was only wearing an oversized T-shirt, the space between his legs felt exposed.
“What, what about it? The pretending to put it in part?”
“…No, the photography study group. You went there with high expectations.”
“……..”
“I’m curious to hear what you thought.”
Yooho released Semin’s wrists and gently caressed the back of his reddened thighs. It wasn’t unbearable, but it stung. Semin raised his voice, trying not to show his discomfort.
“It was… fun.”
“No one bothered you?”
“No, everyone was nice to me. They taught me a lot of things and complimented me a lot…”
“But why did you leave suddenly? I thought something happened.”
At the worried and serious tone, Semin blinked slowly. He looked like he hadn’t expected that question.
“I came because I missed you…”
Yooho chuckled. Semin scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Yooho’s neck.
“I liked the pretending to put it in part too.”
“……..”
“I like everything with you.”
His embrace, now familiar, was full of childish affection. Yooho hugged Semin, settling him in his lap, and pressed kisses all over his face.