CCS Ch 15

When Semin received the thin kraft paper bag, his mind was filled with question marks. Even when told to open it, he just thought it might be snacks. It wasn’t until he opened the bag and pulled out the long strap that he remembered what Yooho had asked him earlier. “Don’t you want anything? Anything you need?”

“Wh…What is this?”

“A gift.”

“…”

Semin was momentarily speechless at the casual reply. It’s okay, you really didn’t have to get me anything. The polite words evaporated without a trace, and before he knew it, Semin blurted out, “Are you really giving this to me?”

“Who else would I give it to?”

“Thank you. Oh… Wow…”

The meticulous craftsmanship of the strap was evident at a glance. The finely dyed blue leather caught the sunlight filtering into the car, reflecting different shades of light. Semin quickly reached into the back seat and took out his camera. He attached the strap to both sides of the silver camera, the deep blue settling with a reassuring weight. Yooho grinned at the sight of Semin stroking the soft surface of the strap, gazing at it for a long time.

“Do you like the color? I thought you liked blue, so I got that one.”

“Yes, it’s beautiful. I… I really like blue.”

Semin put the strap around his neck. The feeling of the soft leather against his skin was pleasant. He grinned and held up the camera towards Yooho. Yooho, caught in the viewfinder, cheekily closed one eye.

“This leather is really nice, and it looks handmade… Isn’t it expensive?”

“It’s fine. I’m paying it off in 36 monthly installments.”

“…What?”

“Just kidding.”

Click, he’d absentmindedly pressed the shutter, capturing Yooho’s boyish smile. The confines of the car meant that no matter how far Semin leaned back, it was a close-up shot. After snapping a few more pictures, Semin carefully lowered the camera.

“It’s so nice, I don’t think I can use it. I’ll have to put it away in a drawer as soon as I get home.”

“Don’t do that. Use it. If it wears out, I’ll buy you a new one.”

“…”

“There was a matching case too, but I didn’t know your exact camera model, so…”

A sharp ringtone cut through Yooho’s quiet voice. “Hold on,” he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket, his voice laced with confusion. “Yes, Coach.”

The voice on the other end was muffled. Semin pretended not to listen, fiddling with the new strap.

“What do you want me to take? I can’t hear you well… Watermelon? I don’t even have a knife at home. No, it’s not that I’m asking you to cut it…”

Despite Yooho’s repeated attempts to decline, the person on the other end was insistent. With a sigh, Yooho finally lowered his phone after being told to take the watermelon, as it was something good.

“Sorry. The association gave everyone a watermelon and they want me to take one.”

“Oh, okay. Can you carry it by yourself?”

Semin was taken aback by his own thoughtless question. Fortunately, Yooho just chuckled and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“If it’s too heavy, I’ll call you. You can take it and eat it with your family.”

“Well, that’s…”

“Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

Yooho got out of the car and strode towards the gym entrance. Watching him, Semin opened the driver’s side door and stepped out. He raised his camera towards Yooho’s receding figure, the broad, flat expanse of his back suddenly filling the frame.

Click, Semin had thought Yooho was far enough away, but the sound must have reached him. Yooho paused, turned, and flashed a peace sign. Semin didn’t miss the opportunity, pressing the shutter again. Click, under the clear, bright blue sky, Yooho’s bright smile felt unreal, like a scene cut from a movie.

“…”

Ah, right.

I like him.

Click, the feeling of his index finger’s ridges depressing the shutter. Why did replicating a fleeting moment, trapping it in a rectangular frame, fill him with such a sense of fullness? It was a question he hadn’t been able to answer despite having photographed Yooho for so long, yet the moment it arose, he knew the answer.

Because time is passing. That back, that smile, the casual peace sign, the easy winks, all become the past in the blink of an eye, the exhale of a breath. That’s why people take pictures. Because they want to hold on to even you, who has passed me by.

‘That swimmer will obviously only say things to please you.’

The sudden intrusion of Sungmin’s voice still stung. The anxiety that had taken root within him was sharp. But when he was with Yooho, it subsided. Looking into his eyes, hearing his voice, feeling his skin against his own, sharing his warmth – a sense of relief, as if just waking from a nightmare, filled his chest.

It’s okay… Semin repeated the words to no one in particular, pressing the shutter. Yooho was now entering the gym. It’s okay. He said he likes me too.

‘You didn’t suggest the trip first, did you?’

The camera slipped from his suddenly weakened hand. I’m dropping it! Just as panic seized him, the falling camera stopped mid-air, caught by the taut strap.

“Ah…”

A sigh of relief escaped him. Semin ran a hand over his chest and slowly smiled. He wanted to tell Yooho when he returned how the gift he’d received today had saved his camera from shattering.

“That was close…”

“…Um, Kang Semin?”

Startled by the hesitant voice that followed so closely on the heels of his relief, Semin almost dropped his camera again. He turned, his face drained of color, to find Myunghoon standing there, looking even more surprised than he was.

“Oh my… Did I scare you that much? I’m so sorry.”

“…”

“I called you a few times from over there, but you didn’t hear me… Are you okay?”

Semin’s lips parted, but no sound came out. He knew Myunghoon was Yooho’s staff member, a good person, but an unavoidable discomfort rose within him. Myunghoon, sensing this, seemed equally uneasy.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt… I was just wondering if you were taking pictures of Yooho just now.”

“…Yes.”

“It’s okay during training or competitions, but right now… Never mind. You’re not going to post them anywhere, are you?”

“…”

“Just in case, please don’t post them on any personal social media or anything… It’s easy for people to gossip, so…”

“…Oh.”

That’s what you wanted to say. Semin belatedly nodded.

“No, I… I won’t post them anywhere. I don’t even have social media…”

“Thank you. The media attention is so high these days that anything can become news.”

Myunghoon smiled, relieved. Semin understood his position. He offered a small, strained smile in return. Myunghoon, watching him, cleared his throat.

“Well… I really… I believe both the CEO and you, Mr. Kang Semin, are very professional and rational people, so I’m telling you this… and honestly, I’m really nervous right now. Haha.”

“No, it’s okay. I understand what you mean.”

“So, the thing is… Yooho has an important competition coming up. Rest is crucial during times like these.”

“Yes? Yes…”

“Of course, you said you’re a fan of Yooho, so I understand, but… if you visit too often during his rest time or on his days off, it can… how should I put this…”

Myunghoon trailed off, clearing his throat again. Semin blinked, dazed, then offered a weak rebuttal.

“Oh, that’s, I… I wasn’t trying to bother him…”

“I know, I know. It’s just that… to be frank, even if you have no intention of pressuring him, Yooho doesn’t really have the option to say no to you.”

“…”

“So, if you visit, or… ask to meet him, from Yooho’s perspective…”

Semin remembered the time Myunghoon had tried to say something but stopped and turned away. He must have wanted to say the same thing then. Realization hit him like a punch to the gut.

“Th-That’s not it!”

What came to mind then, sadly, was Sungmin’s face.

‘Hyun Yooho would go on a trip with you at a time like this?’

He’d deliberately ignored the fleeting concern in her eyes.

‘You didn’t suggest going first, did you?’

Because if you did, he wouldn’t be able to refuse. His lips felt dry, his tongue heavy.

“I’m… close with him. So… he said he likes it when I come…”

“Of course, of course. Yooho definitely enjoys seeing you. You can tell.”

“Then, then why…”

“What I’m trying to say is… even if you don’t intend to burden him, it might not be the same for Yooho.”

“Is it because my sister is a client? That shouldn’t matter. I don’t even work for the company…”

He choked on his words, unable to finish. Myunghoon sighed softly. Do you think that makes sense right now? The unspoken question hung heavy in the air.

“…Did… he say that?”

Suddenly, anger flared. Even if Myunghoon was his friend and a staff member, he didn’t know anything about their relationship. Semin clenched his trembling fists.

“Did he say I was a burden?”

“Mr. Semin.”

“I don’t think he’d… pretend to be nice to me if he didn’t mean it. I don’t know what it looks like to you, but…”

“No, Mr. Semin. Please calm down. I’m just saying this because we all care about Yooho and support him, and I thought you should be aware of this…”

“…”

“…It’s just that. Yooho didn’t say anything about liking or disliking you or anything like that…”

Semin’s eyes hardened. Myunghoon’s gaze shifted uneasily in the sudden, heavy silence. The implication of the unfinished sentence was crystal clear. After a long moment, Semin forced his lips to move.

“What… what did he say?”

“No, he didn’t say anything…”

“What did he say?”

Myunghoon froze, unable to answer. His unfocused eyes darted around. Semin’s head pounded with the increasingly loud thump of his heart. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. It’s probably nothing. He tried to reassure himself, but Myunghoon’s somber voice pricked at his nerves.

“Um, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell Yooho about this conversation… at least until the AG is over.”

Semin took a deep breath, not answering. A growing sense of foreboding made his stomach churn.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way… As you know, Yooho’s training schedule is already brutal. On top of that, he has to squeeze in rehab and treatment…”

“So…”

“He practically doesn’t have any days off…”

“So, what did he say?”

Myunghoon, his brow furrowed in discomfort, closed his eyes tightly and then opened them. His gaze, when it met Semin’s again, was firm with a strange sense of duty.

“…It was really nothing. He just said… that you’re a difficult person to deal with, so he feels like he has to accommodate you.”

The ground seemed to drop out from under Semin’s feet. He closed his eyes tightly against the wave of dizziness.

“And aside from the sponsor-athlete relationship, you’re not just any ordinary person, Mr. Semin. So, he has to be careful in many ways…”

Sharp, sporadic ringing pierced his head. He forced his eyes open and blinked rapidly. White spots flashed before his vision. He couldn’t hear Myunghoon’s words anymore.

“Mr. Semin? Um…”

“…”

“I’m sorry. If I said something I shouldn’t have…”

Myunghoon stopped abruptly, looking startled. Following his gaze, Semin slowly turned his head. Yooho was walking towards them, a shopping bag in one hand and the other tucked into the pocket of his track pants, his brow furrowed in a deep frown.

“What’s going on?”

The sharp question was clearly directed at Myunghoon, but Semin still flinched involuntarily. Yooho stepped between Myunghoon and Semin and asked again, “What were you talking about?”

“N-Nothing, just saying hi.”

Myunghoon answered in a subdued voice. Semin nodded instinctively.

“Yes, he was just… saying hi.”

“…”

Semin couldn’t bring himself to meet Yooho’s eyes. Yooho sighed and gestured to Myunghoon.

“Go on. We’ll talk later.”

Myunghoon, as if waiting for those words, quickly mumbled, “Uh, yeah,” glancing nervously at Semin.

“Mr. Semin, then… please go in.”

“…Okay.”

His strained voice was rough. Yooho’s eyes, as he turned back, were filled with concern. Semin forced a smile and cleared his throat.

“Le-Let’s go, too.”

Yooho looked dubious but got into the car. He placed the shopping bag he’d brought under the passenger seat and spoke calmly.

“They said it’s some really good, expensive watermelon, but I can’t tell the difference just by looking at it. It’s half a watermelon, already cut and packaged, so take it and eat it with your family.”

“Okay, thank you, no, I think you should eat it…”

“What were you talking about with Myunghoon?”

The blunt question, cutting through his attempt to change the subject, was typical Yooho. Semin tugged at his seatbelt, his lips dry.

“…It was about the… pictures…”

“Pictures?”

“I was taking pictures of you, and he asked me not to post them anywhere…”

“…”

Yooho ran a hand over his forehead and let out a long sigh, a hint of annoyance in it.

“Is that all?”

Semin’s stomach dropped. A twitch in his cheek made his lips tremble. He fiddled with his seatbelt again, pretending to adjust it.

‘That swimmer will only pretend to care about your feelings.’

‘How do I know? Because I did it too.’

Joseph’s accusations, while unfair and infuriating, didn’t make him feel sad. Joseph didn’t know Yooho. He didn’t know what kind of person he was, what expressions he made, how he spoke, how thoughtfully he held his silences.

‘He said you’re a difficult person to deal with, so he feels like he has to accommodate you…’

But Myunghoon knew Hyun Yooho. The harder Semin’s heart pounded, the more the bridge of his nose ached.

“He seemed… very worried about you.”

“Ah…”

Yooho sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Sorry. He’s been a bit out of line lately. I’m the one competing, but he’s the one getting all stressed out.”

His tone was chiding, but not unkind. He sounded like he was making excuses for a troublesome younger brother. Semin forced his dry lips open.

“You must be very… close…”

“Close is not the right word. We’ve known each other for a long time. Since middle school.”

“…”

“We know almost everything about each other’s athletic careers, and now that we’re in a manager-athlete relationship… I guess he hasn’t quite figured out where the line is.”

A friend since middle school. A friend who knew everything about his athletic career…

Shouldn’t he believe what someone like that said? Semin’s breath hitched. Should he ask Yooho directly? The impulse died as quickly as it arose. What would I even ask? Are you accommodating me because I’m difficult?

“…”

Unlike what Joseph or Myunghoon had said, Semin didn’t think Yooho was someone who changed his behavior depending on who he was with. He didn’t think he had that kind of influence over him.

‘How can you be so sure?’

But was that really the right conclusion?

‘You didn’t even know I hated you.’

A painfully cold breath scraped his throat. As if mocking him, the sky reflected in the car window was bathed in the full light of early summer.

An unprecedented heatwave had been forecast. Yooho would be cooped up in the athletes’ village all summer, facing a crucial competition just before the start of autumn. Surrounded by millions of eyes and ears waiting for him to win.

The media had no doubt that Hyun Yooho would win his second consecutive gold medal at the Asian Games. They declared there was no one in Asia who could challenge him. He was putting on a brave face, but Semin knew the pressure must be immense. He understood why everyone around him was making such a fuss.

‘We all care about Yooho and support him, and I thought you should be aware of this.’

Myunghoon’s intentions were clear. Yooho couldn’t refuse him, so he wanted Semin to keep his distance. And not to mention this conversation. At least not until the competition was over.

“Anyway, I’m sorry. I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again…”

Yooho, leaning towards Semin, suddenly froze. His hand reached out and cupped the back of Semin’s neck. Still dazed, Semin didn’t understand until he saw the drops of blood blooming on his jeans.

“…Oh.”

“Wait.”

The metallic tang of blood filled his mouth. Yooho kept one hand on Semin’s shoulder and brought the other to his face. Drops of blood welled up in the lines of his rough palm.

“Your hand… it’s getting dirty.”

“Don’t open your mouth.”

“There are tissues in the glove compartment…”

Yooho didn’t move. He just held Semin still, his gaze filled with concern. The coldness of his hand against Semin’s skin told him he was running a fever. Semin blinked slowly.

“Your hand…”

Yooho stroked Semin’s cheek with his thumb and said flatly, “Mouth.”

Semin closed his mouth, and Yooho’s lips brushed against his temple.

“Don’t swallow.”

“…”

“Good boy.”

Semin couldn’t smile, even at the affectionate praise. He hid his trembling lips behind the tissue Yooho offered. He was grateful that tears weren’t coming. He could still hold on.

“Why the sudden nosebleed? Are you feeling unwell?”

A warm hand gently massaged the back of his neck. Semin instinctively started to shake his head but stopped himself.

“I guess I didn’t get much… sleep.”

“What do you mean, ‘I guess’? You either slept or you didn’t.”

“…”

“Is it because of Myunghoon? What did he say?”

This time, he shook his head vehemently. He didn’t want to speak ill of Yooho’s friend, but more than that, he didn’t want to seem like someone who got a nosebleed just from being told off. Yooho watched him intently, then lowered his head and asked again, “Is it stopping? Tell me if you need to go to the hospital.”

Yooho always noticed everything quickly, but he never pried or pushed. He’d once said he understood the exhaustion of keeping up with the fast-paced world, then looked away and waited patiently. That’s how Semin could calm down too. Yooho’s stillness was like an anchor. Even when he was flailing like a small boat in a storm, it gave him the faith that he wouldn’t capsize.

“…Yooho.”

I really do like him. The sudden surge of emotion spilled onto his tongue without a filter. Yooho hummed in acknowledgement and tilted his head.

“Is there anything… I can do… for you…?”

Yooho looked genuinely puzzled by the unexpected question. Semin flushed and lowered his head.

“I… I’ll do anything for you…”

“…Semin. Wait. Don’t lower your head like that, the blood…”

“Anything at all… anything you want…”

The world went black for a moment. A startled, “Whoa!” and a hand on his shoulder. Semin looked up, startled. Yooho was frowning, his face tense.

“Are you okay? Did you almost faint?”

“No, I’m fine. Just a little dizzy…”

“This won’t do. Let’s go to the hospital. I’ll call a cab.”

“…No, no!”

His outburst made his head spin. He leaned his head back against the seat and took a deep breath.

“Someone might recognize us at the hospital…”

“That’s not important right now.”

“I’ll… call home. I’ll ask them to pick me up…”

The bleeding seemed to be slowing down, but the dizziness returned with a vengeance. It was the very scenario Sungmin often worried about. She’d always frowned and asked what he’d do if he got dizzy while driving. If she found out about today, he might have to surrender his car keys for a while.

“Yooho…”

But he couldn’t keep pushing it. If his condition worsened, he might have to be hospitalized again. He couldn’t bear the thought. The mere idea made him feel faint. In his desperation, Semin blurted out, “I’m sorry for… scaring you.”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“And thank you for the gift… It’s my first time receiving a gift. I mean… from someone other than my family, a nice gift like this…”

“…”

“I was really surprised… and really happy…”

His heart was overflowing, but his vocabulary failed him. Yooho remained silent for a moment. Semin pressed his hand harder against his mouth, trying to hide his anxiety. Then Yooho leaned closer, bracing himself on the console. Before Semin could ask what he was doing, Yooho’s lips brushed against the back of his hand.

“…”

The metallic smell of blood vanished. Semin stared blankly as Yooho’s long lashes fluttered closed. The stinging in his nose wasn’t just from the blood. Yooho pressed his lips together, making a small kissing sound, and rested his forehead against Semin’s.

“Make sure you go to the hospital, and if they say you need to be admitted, listen to them. I’ll come visit you.”

“…Okay.”

“I should get my driver’s license after this competition.”

“Wh-Why? I can drive you…”

“Someone told me that if you want to have a secret relationship, you need a car.”

“…”

“Even now… If I could drive, I wouldn’t have to let you go alone.”

Gentle fingers brushed the hair away from his forehead. Remembering all the ways Yooho had comforted him in such a short time, Semin took a deep breath.

Even if what Myunghoon said was true, Yooho must have some affection for him. Even if he was accommodating him because he was difficult, he must be doing it out of at least a little bit of fondness. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be so kind…

‘I want to ask him.’

Did you tell him that I’m difficult, burdensome, and hard to refuse? Just the thought of it made him ache with hurt. He knew he couldn’t calmly and rationally ask for the truth. He’d end up prying until the tears came. And if that somehow affected Yooho’s performance in this crucial competition…

‘…That would be terrible.’

Yooho’s competition wasn’t just his fight anymore. It was the fight of the team supporting him, and most importantly, the fight of Lee Kang Dairy, his main sponsor. Semin, more than anyone, knew how hard Sungmin had worked to establish herself in the company. He couldn’t bring himself to jeopardize everything she’d built just to soothe his hurt feelings.

He counted the days in his head. About two and a half months remained until Yooho’s competitions were over. Two and a half months. A length of time that felt both long and short.

‘I just have to endure it…’

Besides, Yooho was about to enter the athletes’ village. He wouldn’t be able to see him much until after the competition. To his surprise, a sense of relief washed over him.

“…”

Semin slowly raised his head. His pounding heart unearthed an unwelcome realization. Asking Yooho about the truth and upsetting him wasn’t what Semin truly feared. It was closer to what he actually wanted.

The real reason he couldn’t ask was the fear that Yooho would casually confirm it. What if he calmly asked, “Didn’t you know?” The thought made his stomach clench.

He knew if he thought about it any longer, the tears would come. He hurriedly pulled out his phone and called home. He felt Yooho’s concerned gaze on him but didn’t look back.

* * *

Disjointed nightmares swirled together. He drifted in and out of a shallow sleep, waking with a start each time, his back damp with cold sweat. When he finally sat up, it was just past 3 p.m. He’d collapsed onto the bed as soon as he’d gotten home, so he hadn’t rested properly for even two hours.

As he reached to peel off his clinging pajamas, he paused. His phone on the nightstand was blinking. As expected, it was a message from Yooho, sent a while ago.

[Did you get home safe? Call me when you wake up 1:30 PM]

“Call…”

I have to call him. I have to tell him I’m okay. But his thumb hesitated over the call icon. He set the phone down and lay back, staring at the ceiling. He sighed deeply, but the tightness in his chest remained.

‘He said you’re a difficult person to deal with, so he feels like he has to accommodate you…’

Even in his dazed state, the words he’d heard echoed with painful clarity. Tears welled up. Semin pressed his knuckles against his stinging nose and tried to collect his thoughts.

‘There’s no point in agonizing over this alone… I need to talk to him about it.’

But that wasn’t something he could do right now. He wiped away the stray tear and sat up. The dizziness had mostly subsided. He was about to call downstairs when someone knocked on his door.

“Dear, are you awake?”

It was the housekeeper. Semin quickly wiped his eyes again and answered brightly, “Yes.”

“Oh, you’re up. Are you still dizzy?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You’re sweating. Take a shower first, and then have some porridge.”

He didn’t even want a sip of water, but he smiled and nodded. The housekeeper smiled in relief.

“Oh, something came from the department store.”

“The department store?”

“They said it’s clothes you ordered. Several shopping bags arrived.”

Clothes? His eyes blinked slowly, then widened. It must be Yooho’s tracksuits that he’d ordered. He jumped out of bed and asked urgently, “Wh-Where are they?”

“Take a shower first and come down. You don’t want to catch a cold.”

“…”

As anxious as he was, he couldn’t argue with that. Semin bit his lip and hurried to the bathroom.

He quickly rinsed off the sweat under the hot shower and rushed downstairs. The shopping bags were neatly arranged on the coffee table. They seemed to be individually packaged sets. He desperately wanted to open them, but he didn’t want to ruin the packaging. After a moment of deliberation, he grabbed the bags and ran to the garage.

“Aren’t those your clothes? Are you giving them to someone?”

The housekeeper, helping him carry the bags, asked curiously. Semin hesitated, then answered in a small voice, “The one you saw last time…”

“That swimmer friend?”

“…Yes.”

“You bought this many clothes for a friend? He must be a good friend.”

Semin smiled bashfully as the housekeeper patted his shoulder approvingly.

“Do you think he’ll like them…?”

“Of course he will.”

At those words, Semin’s sunken spirits lifted. Grinning, he closed the trunk and asked the housekeeper cautiously, “Then…can I go out for a bit…?”

“Not today.”

“…”

“Tomorrow, tomorrow. Okay? Eat some porridge first.”

I want to give them to him now. Semin licked his dry lips. The thought of the camera strap he’d received made him even more impatient.

“How about after I eat and rest a bit?”

“It’s best if you don’t go out today, dear.”

“I’m really okay…. I feel perfectly fine now.”

More than anything, it was Sunday. He wanted to see Yooho before the weekend was over. The housekeeper looked at Semin’s anxious face and gave a troubled smile.

* * *

[1:30 PM Did you get home safe? Call me when you wake up]

Yooho’s gaze shifted from the unanswered message to the clock on the wall. It was just past 5 p.m. He considered sending another message, then tossed his phone aside and stood up.

Maybe he went to the hospital. He looked unwell, so it was a possibility. Yooho scratched the back of his head and massaged his stiff neck.

“…”

His gaze drifted to the small window. Even on his day off, he didn’t have anything particular to do. Between training and rehab, scheduled down to the hour, day, week, and even quarter, he barely had enough time to eat and sleep.

‘I don’t remember what I did before I met you.’

Who are you to talk? Yooho chuckled and picked up his phone again. Semin’s pale, averted face flashed before his eyes, making it impossible to think of anything else.

The call went straight to voicemail. He started to try again, then sighed and gave up. If Semin was simply asleep, it would be fine, but if his condition had worsened…

The doorbell rang, interrupting his string of anxious thoughts. Startled, Yooho looked at the intercom. No one was supposed to come. The moment he saw the screen, his smooth brow furrowed. Without a second thought, he rushed to the door and flung it open.

“Oh…!”

The rustling of paper shopping bags was unusually loud. Yooho stretched his arm to open the door as wide as possible and let out a gasp.

“…What is this?”

Semin stood there, holding an armful of shopping bags, a hesitant smile on his face. He was wearing different clothes than earlier, but his complexion was still pale.

“Can… Can I come in?”

The whole situation was absurd. Yooho stared down at him without answering, and Semin’s smile slowly faded.

“…Yooho?”

“…”

Yooho silently stepped aside, opening the way. Semin cautiously entered the apartment, the mountain of shopping bags bumping awkwardly against the walls of the narrow entryway.

“Sorry to bother you when you’re resting…. I’ll just give you these and go.”

Yooho had a lot of questions, but he closed the door first and rubbed his forehead.

“…What are those?”

“Th-These. You gave me clothes… last time.”

“Clothes?”

When did I…? Yooho started to ask, then stopped, a frown creasing his brow. Oh, that’s what he means.

“You also gave me… the camera strap earlier…”

“…?”

“So, it’s nothing much, I just… bought you some clothes.”

“You bought them?”

By then, he couldn’t completely erase the irritation from his voice. Semin, crouched down and opening a shopping bag, froze, his eyes wide. Yooho rubbed his furrowed brow and asked as calmly as he could, “So, you’re saying… you went shopping because you received a camera strap?”

“…What?”

“You left looking like that and you went to… ”

He cut himself off with a sharp sigh. Semin flinched and averted his gaze.

“Oh, I, I…”

“…”

“I, well…”

His trembling lips struggled to form words. Yooho put his hands on his hips and hung his head. Semin’s anxious breathing filled the silent room. After a moment, Yooho composed himself and walked over to Semin.

He knelt down on one knee, and Semin took a shallow breath. Yooho pushed the scattered shopping bags to the side and gently placed his hands on Semin’s shoulders.

“I was worried about you after you left like that.”

Semin’s back was stiff with tension. Yooho rubbed his shoulders reassuringly, and Semin gradually met his gaze.

“I was wondering if you got home okay, but you didn’t reply to my messages, and you didn’t answer my calls…”

“…Oh.”

“And then you tell me you went shopping? Of course I’m upset.”

A spark of understanding finally appeared in Semin’s rapidly blinking eyes. He opened his mouth, blurting out a jumble of words.

“No, no…. I’m sorry about the messages…. Bu-But I didn’t go shopping for these today. I ordered them a while ago. I went straight home, took some medicine, and slept. But I woke up and saw these had arrived, and I wanted to give them to you quickly…”

“…”

“…I missed you, that’s all I was thinking about on my way here…”

“…”

“I’m sorry…”

Having stumbled through his explanation, Semin dropped his gaze. Yooho sighed silently and sat down on the floor. He opened his arms, and Semin eagerly embraced him.

“I’m sorry, Yooho…”

“It’s okay. You said it once, that’s enough.”

“I… When I fixate on something, I tend to lose track of everything else. My sister scolds me for it all the time…”

Semin mumbled, hugging Yooho tightly. A sweet scent emanated from the soft skin pressed against his nose. He was slightly sweaty on the back of his neck from rushing over. Yooho buried his face in Semin’s neck and inhaled deeply. Semin shivered, his back tensing.

“Yooho, the clothes…”

Relief, smooth and slippery, flowed into the space left by anxiety. Yooho wrapped his arms tightly around Semin’s waist, his fingers tracing the spaces between his ribs, and gently nipped at the collarbone near his lips.

“Try them on… ah.”

Semin flinched, his body trembling slightly in Yooho’s firm embrace. Yooho chuckled and loosened his grip.

“So, what did you buy all this?”

“It’s… not that much. They packaged everything separately, that’s why it looks like a lot. I haven’t even opened them yet…”

Now that Yooho was finally showing interest in the gifts, Semin’s face brightened noticeably. He looked genuinely excited as he quickly pulled out the boxes. His eyes sparkled with anticipation as he handed the largest box to Yooho and waited expectantly. I should react enthusiastically to this. Yooho chuckled inwardly, untied the ribbon, and opened the box.

“…”

A small card lay on top of the tissue-wrapped contents. Assuming it was from Semin, Yooho picked it up with a smile. A question mark quickly formed above his head.

To our valued customer,

Greetings, this is Kim Dae-woong from Maison Schiller Homme, Cheongdam Branch.

We have prepared the items you ordered.

We look forward to serving you again soon.

Thank you.

“Ah, th-this.”

Semin took the card from Yooho’s bewildered hand with an awkward laugh.

“I just brought it as it was…”

“Do the employees write these cards for everyone?”

“Maybe it’s because I’m a regular.”

I see. Yooho shrugged it off and removed the rest of the packaging, revealing the clothes. It was a tracksuit set with a zip-up top and pants. The dark gray fabric had a subtle embroidered brand monogram from the shoulder line to the sleeves. Even to an untrained eye, they didn’t look mass-produced.

“Semin, these…”

Yooho looked up, then paused. Semin was beaming, his lips twitching into a smile. His flushed cheeks formed a heart shape around his chin.

“Actually, Yooho.”

Semin shyly averted his gaze and fidgeted with his fingers. It seemed like he wasn’t just anticipating a reaction.

“Actually, I… bought these for myself, too.”

“…What?”

“The… the same design… but in a different color. I wanted to… wear similar clothes to you…”

“…”

“I won’t wear them outside. Just at home sometimes.”

How much did these cost? The question Yooho wanted to ask crumbled in his mouth. He ended up chuckling and lowering his head.

“Why only at home? Wear them whenever you want.”

“Really…?”

“Why not? What color did you get?”

“Mine are beige…”

Semin answered slowly, his smile widening. Yooho chuckled and slipped his arms into the sleeves of the zip-up top. The sleeves stopped perfectly at his wrists, and the shoulders and chest fit perfectly. He zipped it up halfway, then tilted his head.

“Is Maison… something the brand name?”

“Maison Schiller. Do… do you like it?”

“The size is perfect. I can never find clothes that fit this well.”

There was no excess fabric, but it wasn’t too tight either—it was just right. Maybe I should buy my everyday clothes here from now on. Semin watched Yooho move his arms around, a pleased expression on his face. Then he hesitated slightly and said, “Well, the size… is custom-made.”

“Huh?”

“There was that magazine interview where they published your measurements. I used those…”

Was there? Yooho racked his brain. It must have been around two years ago, when he was doing a lot of ads and photoshoots. There was a strange article that listed his shoulder, chest, and waist measurements like some kind of title.

“Really? I thought…”

“They said they’d have to custom-make them to fit you when I went to buy them… I originally wanted to… give these back to you as soon as you offered me clothes…”

“…”

“They said it takes a while because it’s all handmade. Even though I didn’t make them myself…?”

Semin finished with a wide grin. Yooho stared at his childlike smile, then smirked.

“When you did those weird things with my clothes?”

Semin’s face flushed crimson. He quickly averted his gaze and retreated, pouting.

“I didn’t do anything weird…”

“Wasn’t that before we were even dating?”

“…Why bring that up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to wear matching outfits even though we weren’t dating.”

Semin’s lips parted but no words came out. Yooho zipped up his tracksuit top all the way, pointedly. The feeling of the metal zipper against his chin made his tongue tingle. Semin mumbled, avoiding eye contact, then finally said sulkily, “Did you really have to mention that…?”

“Yes.”

Yooho answered without hesitation and sat up. He pulled Semin towards the bed and laid him down. A startled gasp brushed against his ear. Yooho settled himself between Semin’s knees and carefully folded the clothes he’d been wearing onto the floor.

“I’m so curious I can’t sleep. Won’t you tell me for the sake of my beauty sleep?”

“…Tell you what?”

“Back when we weren’t dating yet…”

“…”

“What were those dirty fantasies you had about me?”

Semin squeezed his eyes shut, a look of Here we go again on his face. Yooho chuckled and pulled off his remaining shirt. The cheap fluorescent light cast sharp shadows on the defined muscles of his broad back.

“I really shouldn’t have said anything…”

Semin peeked open his eyes, his gaze momentarily fixated on Yooho’s abs. Yooho took advantage of the opening, placing his hands on either side of Semin’s head.

“In return, I’ll answer anything you’re curious about.”

He whispered, kissing Semin’s temple, and a flicker of anticipation appeared in his delicate eyes. Semin’s gaze, as it met his, clearly asked, Really? Yooho confidently shrugged. Really.

“Anything you’re curious about…”

Semin’s playful, roving eyes suddenly stopped. The playful contemplation on his face hardened. What’s wrong? Yooho tilted his head, puzzled, and Semin quickly smiled again.

“…Later, then.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll save it. I’ll ask you later.”

“Hmm…”

What could he possibly want to ask? Yooho suppressed his curiosity and tugged lightly on the hem of Semin’s shirt.

“Will you answer my question now?”

He stealthily undid the bottom button, and Semin licked his dry lips. He seemed nervous.

“Do you really want to know…?”

“Yes. I really, really want to know.”

While Semin hesitated, Yooho undid another button. The open cream-colored shirt revealed a glimpse of his flat stomach.

“…Don’t be mad, okay?”

Yooho simply hummed in response, his hand caressing Semin’s lean side. The soft skin seemed to cling to his palm.

“I… had a dream.”

“…”

“You were in it…”

Yooho’s fingers slid up to Semin’s armpit, and he let out a shaky breath. Yooho undid the remaining buttons and asked, “And?”

“You… touched me. Like now…”

Semin arched his back as Yooho opened his shirt further, and pulled one arm out of its sleeve. Yooho helped him free the other arm, urging, “And then?”

Semin, putting his arm around Yooho’s neck, looked bewildered.

“And then what?”

“What happened after you touched me?”

“That’s it…”

“…”

An awkward silence hung in the air. Yooho chuckled and rubbed his mouth.

“You said it was a dirty fantasy you couldn’t possibly tell me about.”

“Well… yeah. I had that kind of dream even though we weren’t dating…. Isn’t that perverted?”

“Wow…. You’re really disappointing me.”

Yooho dramatically rested his forehead on Semin’s chest. Semin, pinned beneath him, lifted his head slightly.

“Disappointed?”

“Very.”

“Why…? Would you prefer it if I was more perverted?”

“I’m more concerned about what ‘perverted’ even means to Kang Semin…”

Yooho mumbled, kissing Semin’s sternum. He felt Semin’s trapped waist twitch beneath him. He was slender, but soft and supple. Yooho trailed his hand up Semin’s arched back and asked, “Do you work out?”

“Work out? No…?”

“I thought about it last time when we stretched together. You’re too flexible for someone who doesn’t work out at all.”

“Oh…. I do light calisthenics regularly.”

“That’s working out.”

The tip of his nose brushed against Semin’s shallow navel. He kissed it, and Semin giggled.

“You’re the one who really works out.”

Yooho kissed Semin’s lower abdomen and reached for the buckle of his jeans. Semin propped himself up on his elbows and lifted his hips to make it easier for Yooho to undress him.

“Doing this with me will be a good workout, too.”

Yooho grinned, kissing Semin’s pale thigh. The feeling of his lips stretching against his sensitive skin was so vivid it sent shivers down Semin’s spine. Semin blushed and changed the subject.

“But… I wish you could try on all the clothes, too…”

“You mean the ones you bought?”

“…Yes.”

“Is that okay? Aren’t you in a hurry?”

Yooho placed his hand between Semin’s legs. Semin flinched at the warmth of Yooho’s palm pressing against his half-hard cock. Yooho used his body to prevent Semin’s knees from closing, his thumb stroking the hardening outline.

“Ah, mm…”

A moan escaped Semin’s lips, wet and uncontrolled. Yooho gazed at the flush spreading across his cheeks and neck and slipped his hand inside the waistband of Semin’s briefs. Semin’s breath hitched, and he quickly ducked his head.

“…H-Hold on…”

Yooho immediately stopped and met Semin’s eyes. Semin awkwardly sat up and reached for Yooho.

“You first…”

“Huh? What?”

“You did it for me last time, so let me do it for you this time.”

Semin smiled proudly, as if he’d come up with a brilliant idea, leaving Yooho speechless. Yooho gently grasped Semin’s wrist as he reached for his waistband.

“Don’t worry about that. You’re not feeling well today.”

“What?”

“I was just going to take care of you anyway.”

“Wh-Why? Don’t you want to…?”

Yooho chuckled and lowered his body. Semin lay back as Yooho pushed him down, but he still looked uneasy.

“Did you not like it last time…?”

“…”

“You can… pretend to put it in again…”

“Semin.”

Yooho laid Semin down completely and lightly bumped his forehead against his. Semin blinked, silent.

“Don’t rush things. We’re doing this because we both enjoy it.”

Hmm? Yooho whispered, pressing their lips together. Semin finally seemed to relax. Yooho kissed him softly a few times, then lifted his head and gently stroked Semin’s forehead.

“You like it when I touch you, right?”

Semin quickly nodded at the soothing words.

“…Y-Yes, I… I like it. I really like it.”

“That’s why I’m touching you. That’s all.”

It would have been nice if things had ended warmly there, but Semin seemed to have something else he wanted to say. Yooho waited patiently as Semin’s lips moved silently, then asked, “What is it?”

Semin’s dark eyes darted back and forth for a moment, then he glanced at the wall before lowering his voice and whispering in Yooho’s ear, “Then… you don’t really want to… put it in?”

“…”

“You like it best like this?”

A whirlwind of agonizing thoughts swept through Yooho. He closed his mouth, lost in thought, then groaned.

“…It’s too hard on you.”

He wanted to tell Semin, without lying or outright denying, that he couldn’t do it right now, but he lacked the words. Sure enough, Semin’s eyes widened.

“But you want to?”

“It’s not about what I want…”

“I’m… I’m really okay. I know what it is. I don’t think it’ll be hard.”

Yooho averted his gaze. Semin had always seemed driven by something, but lately, it was even more pronounced. Yooho stared at Semin’s determined face, then pulled him into an embrace and rolled onto his side, so they were facing each other. Semin shyly looked away.

“Semin.”

“…Yes?”

“Are you sure nothing happened with Myunghoon earlier?”

Semin didn’t answer immediately. He was clearly flustered. He started to say something, then stopped.

“O-Of course not. What would I even be doing with him?”

“…”

I need to have a word with Myunghoon. Yooho made a mental note and stroked Semin’s hair. “Okay.” Semin blinked, then suddenly asked, “But you’re changing the subject again, aren’t you…?”

“No? I asked you what I was most curious about.”

Yooho chuckled softly and pulled the covers over them both, drawing Semin close. Semin grumbled but snuggled into his embrace. Noticing a slight hoarseness in Semin’s voice, Yooho asked gently, “Do you want something to drink? I only have water.”

Semin seemed to want to stay put, but Yooho tucked him in again and got out of bed. Torn pieces of packaging crunched under his bare feet.

“Yooho, do… you like the design of the clothes?”

Semin peeked his head out from under the covers and asked cautiously. Yooho looked down at his feet and sighed. Ah.

“Yeah, I like them.”

“Th… This season’s collection got really good reviews. It’s a famous brand known for its simple and beautiful designs… and the activewear line is especially good this time.”

“I see, no wonder they’re so nice.”

He answered politely, even though he didn’t fully understand what Semin was saying. The fact that he always wore tracksuits wasn’t just because it was hard to find clothes that fit. Semin thought for a moment, then asked again, “Are you not interested in clothes?”

Yooho felt a pang of guilt at being seen through and gave an awkward smile.

“It’s not that I’m not interested, I just don’t know much about them. I’ve only ever focused on training, so I don’t really know what’s out there.”

“Oh…”

“But they’re really nice. I like them.”

He sounded genuinely apologetic for his lack of knowledge, not at all like he was making excuses. Semin finally breathed a sigh of relief.

‘He admits what he doesn’t know.’

He glanced at Yooho’s back. The ordinary kitchen sink in his studio apartment looked unusually small. It wasn’t obvious when he was alone, but when he was with someone or next to everyday objects, his larger-than-average build became apparent.

Sometimes it made Semin wonder. If you ranked people purely on their physical attributes, Yooho would undoubtedly be at the top. Yet he showed little of the superiority or need for validation one might expect from someone who seemingly had everything. This both fueled Semin’s admiration and stoked his anxiety.

“You seem to know a lot about clothes. No wonder you always dress so well.”

Yooho said with a grin, pulling out a bottle of water. Semin smiled a beat later.

“No, I don’t know much either. It’s all stuff I’ve picked up from my sister.”

“If you can understand and explain it, you know enough.”

“…Is that so?”

Yooho returned to the bed and handed Semin the water bottle. Semin sat up, still wrapped in the blanket, and leaned his forehead against Yooho’s shoulder.

“Yooho.”

“Hmm?” Yooho leaned his head against Semin’s. Semin chuckled, sandwiched between Yooho’s head and shoulder.

“I’m sorry about today.”

“We already talked about that.”

“Still…. I’ll do a better job of staying in touch next time.”

It was almost evening. Semin forced himself to look away from the clock on the wall. He didn’t want to think about having to leave.

“Well… I’d appreciate that.”

Yooho murmured softly.

“Next time something like this happens, I’ll keep it in mind. That you might be fixated on something and not be able to contact me for a while.”

“…”

“What can I do, you’re like that.”

Semin bit his lip as he looked at Yooho’s smiling face. Ah, I really… I really like him.

‘You didn’t even know I hated you until the very end.’

What if he’s misunderstanding something again?

‘He said you’re a difficult person to deal with, so he has to accommodate you…’

What if it’s all true? What should he do?

“What’s wrong?”

Startled, Semin quickly forced a smile. He tried to make it genuine, but his eyes still trembled uncontrollably.

“I… I don’t want to go home.”

Fortunately, the half-truth came out easily. Yooho chuckled wryly.

“Sorry. I wish we could meet more comfortably.”

“No, it’s okay. We’re going on a trip next week, anyway.”

He’d said it to change the subject, but he was also genuinely excited about the trip. Semin pushed aside his negative thoughts and hugged Yooho’s waist. The feel of his firm chest filling his arms was comforting.

“Speaking of which… what do you usually do on your days off?”

“Usually…”

Yooho’s gaze drifted away. What did he usually do? Probably just exercise. Even when he had a long break, he’d just go to the beach.

“I go get a massage, or visit Jeju Island…”

“Jeju Island…? Do you like Jeju Island?”

“My maternal grandmother lives there. She used to be a haenyeo, but she’s been retired since last year.”

“What’s a haenyeo?”

“A female diver.”

“Ah,” Semin breathed.

“I see…. I read in an interview that you learned to swim from your grandmother.”

“I used to go to Jeju Island every summer vacation when I was young. Most of my fond childhood memories are from Jeju Island, so it feels like home sometimes.”

“I see,” Semin nodded. Jeju Island and Hyun Yooho seemed like a perfect match.

“Where’s your family home?”

“Daejeon, but I’ve been living in a dorm in Seongnam since middle school.”

“Dorm life? In middle school?”

Semin’s jaw dropped. It was the loudest he’d been all day. Is that so surprising? Yooho chuckled and answered calmly,

“Most athletes do. It’s hard to commute from home with early morning training.”

“…That’s amazing. I never would’ve imagined living away from home in middle school.”

That was probably true for most middle schoolers. Especially considering Semin’s family background and his health, it was unlikely his family would have allowed him to live independently without a special reason. Yooho lowered his head and asked casually, “Do you now?”

I can handle flying. Even when I immigrate someday. Semin remembered his own confident words.

“Now… Well, I’m an adult now, and maybe someday…”

“Where would you want to live if you moved out?”

“I haven’t thought about it specifically, but I’d like to go somewhere warm. I don’t do well in the cold.”

A faint smile touched his lips. He sounded like the mere thought made him happy. Yooho hummed thoughtfully.

“You mean living abroad?”

“Yes,” Semin answered quickly.

Yooho didn’t hesitate to ask, “What about me?”

Semin swallowed, speechless. He’d been assuming Yooho would go with him, of course. But he couldn’t say that now.

“…I’m… not saying I’ll go right away.”

Yooho made a dissatisfied noise at his belated, flimsy excuse. “Hmm… I see.”

“…”

“Are you staying for dinner?”

He was smiling, but his voice was a little subdued. Semin hesitated, searching for something to say, and Yooho stood up, phone in hand, turning away.

“…”

Did I do something wrong? He suddenly felt anxious, but Yooho’s cold back blocked him from speaking. Feeling deflated, Semin curled up under the familiar blanket.