CCS Ch 4

When Yooho came out of the shower and picked up his phone, the first thing he saw was a picture of a kitten perched on a well-manicured garden bush. The tiny kitten, with its yellow tabby markings, was extending its cute snout towards the camera. The sender’s name was “Kang Semin,” and it left Yooho momentarily confused. Why would he send me this?

The next photo appeared. It was a picture of the sunset over the roof of a luxurious-looking house. The sky, painted with the remnants of the sun, looked like a canvas deliberately splashed with various colors. Yooho tilted his head again and opened the next photo.

The third was a garden scene, overflowing with colorful flowers, seen through an arched window. Yooho noticed that the gardens in the first and third photos looked similar. They were probably all taken at the same house.

Finally, the background changed in the fourth photo. It was the arena where last year’s national team trials were held. He couldn’t help but recognize it. His own figure, hands in his jersey pockets, head slightly bowed, was too familiar.

“…….”

He wasn’t particularly surprised. Throughout his interactions with Semin, the premonition that he was the photographer of this picture had solidified into a firm conviction. If it weren’t for that, they wouldn’t have gotten involved to this extent. Yooho calmly scrolled through the files.

The next photo was a side profile of him, holding his swim cap in one hand, checking the time on the scoreboard. In last year’s trials, Yooho barely managed to reclaim his national team title. The resentment from the athlete who had aimed for his spot during his absence, and his staff, was palpable. They argued that Yooho, not yet fully recovered, taking the spot in the trials while still injured was no different from stealing an opportunity from other athletes.

‘They talk big, those bastards. If they can’t beat someone with a busted shoulder, they’re the ones stealing taxpayer money, you incompetent fools!’

Myunghoon, more enraged than Yooho himself, was eventually dragged away by the staff, and Yooho, left alone on the lane, stared at his time on the board for a long while. In that moment, he couldn’t even remember his grandmother’s words. There was no resentment towards the water. He just kept repeating the numbers in his mind.

He could still swim even if he didn’t make the national team. His swimming career wouldn’t end just because he didn’t achieve the times he wanted. Nevertheless, he wanted to reclaim his spot. That was all that mattered.

Yooho put down his phone and looked up at the ceiling. He wanted to ask Semin, Why did you take a picture of me at that moment?

“Hmm…”

He didn’t have the habit of dwelling on things. Yooho closed his eyes and swiveled in his chair. Kang Semin is the client’s brother, the precious young master of Lee Kang Dairy, the person who takes interesting photos, and also…

Yooho stopped the chair by putting his heels down and picked up his phone again. Judging from the circumstances, it seemed Semin had honestly sent the photos that were on the recovered memory card. A peaceful garden bathed in warm sunlight, a stray cat approaching without fear, the sunset…

And then he realized. If the first three photos were indeed taken at home, then the only places Semin had pressed the shutter were at home and at the arena. At least, that’s what the photos he’d sent indicated.

‘Does he not go out much?’

Twenty was the age to be attending school and hanging out with friends. Questions began to surface, tickling his curiosity. Yooho finally typed a message.

[8:38 PM I enjoyed the photos.]

The moment he sent the short text, the “read” notification popped up. It seemed Semin was staring at the message window. Yooho thought for a moment, then added,

[8:40 PM When should we do the photoshoot?]

[Whenever you’re free! 8:40 PM]

The immediate reply seemed hurried, even just from looking at the text. As he was about to reply, another message arrived.

[The extra character is a typo 8:41 PM]

[I’ll adjust to your schedule, Sir 8:41 PM]

[Daytime would be preferable, but if that’s difficult, indoors would be good too 8:42 PM]

Daytime… Yooho’s gaze shifted to the calendar on the wall. Ironically, the weekend was just around the corner. He had Sunday afternoons off from training every other week. It was a precious day off, but it seemed okay to dedicate it to something different for once. This Sunday would be good. He finally sent the message, and a reply came immediately.

[Then I’ll pick you up 20:55]

[From your dorm 20:55]

He’s a fast typer. Yooho chuckled, slowly typing his message.

[8:58 PM I have morning training, so it would be better to meet at the gym around lunchtime.]

[Ah, I see 20:59]

[Sir, then 20:59]

[I’ll treat you to a meal as thanks for last time 21:00]

[I’ll buy you lunch 21:00]

[What do you like? 21:00]

It wasn’t a meal that warranted repayment, but seeing how anxious Semin seemed, as if a delayed reply would be a catastrophe, Yooho figured it was better to end the conversation quickly. He concentrated on typing.

[9:02 PM Anything with meat would be good, but I’m not picky. Let’s meet in front of the gym at 1 PM this Sunday.]

[Okay! Yesyes! 21:02]

[Thank you 21:03]

[Goodnight 21:03]

Fortunately, Semin didn’t seem to want to force the conversation. Yooho plugged his phone into the charger and lay down.

It might be nice to meet someone new on my day off. It’ll be a change of pace. He clung to the excuse he’d come up with and drifted off to a light, peaceful sleep.

* * *

“You’re meeting the young master? Today? Why?”

Myunghoon, showing him the meticulously planned schedule for his day off, asked with his jaw dropped. Yooho was momentarily tempted by the appointment with a massage master who was said to relieve even chronic muscle pain, but he already had plans, so he quietly shook his head.

“Just… it happened.”

“‘It happened’? How does that even happen? Did you two get close? You’re the guy who always spends his days off in rehab.”

It seemed he wouldn’t stop until he got a satisfactory answer. Yooho, left with no choice, blurted out an answer that would hopefully get Myunghoon off his back.

“You told me to suck up to the higher-ups.”

“I did, but you never listen to me… Did you call the General Manager?”

“…….”

Come to think of it, I completely forgot about that. Yooho avoided Myunghoon’s gaze, his lips sealed. Myunghoon, sensing an opening, raised an eyebrow.

“Our Hyun Yooho, making a friend after all this time…”

“Cut the crap, I’m leaving.”

“The young master is cute. Seems nice, too.”

“Oh, come on… Don’t exaggerate. I’m going to meet with the client.”

They bickered as they walked towards the entrance. Yooho pushed Myunghoon away and looked around for Semin’s car. The small, dark blue BMW electric car. Despite its unforgettable appearance, he couldn’t easily find it.

Hasn’t he arrived yet? He texted me he’d be here on time. Just as he was about to check his phone, Myunghoon nudged him.

“Hey, look at that.”

He followed Myunghoon’s gaze towards the main entrance. He saw the back door of a large, luxurious sedan, parked with its hazard lights flashing, opening. The car was so big, he wondered if it was a limousine. Semin, getting out of the car, bowed his head towards Yooho and Myunghoon. He was wearing a white t-shirt, a loose navy cardigan, and light blue jeans. He looked too young and inexperienced standing in front of the gleaming black car, yet it didn’t seem out of place.

“…….”

“…….”

“The client came to pick you up?”

There was no point in arguing with Myunghoon’s statement. Yooho chuckled and started walking.

“Hello, Sir.”

Semin stepped aside from the door as they approached, smiling shyly. It seemed like a gesture inviting him to get in first. Yooho waved Myunghoon off and got into the car. The middle-aged man in the driver’s seat turned around and greeted him with a nod.

“Greetings.”

“Ah… Yes, hello.”

“I’ll make sure you have a comfortable ride today. Please call me Driver Jeong.”

The polite formality from a man old enough to be his father felt suffocatingly uncomfortable to Yooho, who had spent his entire life within the hierarchical structure of the athletic world. He sat down in the back seat, trying not to show his discomfort, and Semin, getting in after him, smiled shyly.

“I was wondering where to take you for lunch, and Driver Jeong offered to help…”

“Our Semin pestered everyone in the house for three days and nights. He made such a fuss, insisting we had to go to the best restaurant.”

“I didn’t make a fuss, that’s not true…”

Semin flushed, flustered. They seemed quite close for a simple employer-employee relationship. Yooho leaned back comfortably against the plush seat and asked Semin,

“Didn’t you bring your camera?”

“Huh?”

“I don’t see your shell.”

“Shell…?”

Semin repeated Yooho’s words and let out a soft laugh. He took a small camera out of his crossbody bag.

“I’m using this today.”

“Is something that small okay?”

“Well, it’s better for taking continuous shots… and this is a good camera, too. It’s a mirrorless camera, and it’s what I started with. I mainly use the bigger camera for long-distance shots or… scenes with a lot of movement.”

“Aha.”

“This actually belongs to my older brother. He bought it when he was briefly back in Korea, but he left it behind when he went back abroad. I picked it up, and well, it just happened…”

Semin, rambling, suddenly stopped and closed his mouth. He fiddled with the camera, glancing at Yooho, as if he thought he’d given too much unnecessary explanation. Yooho changed the subject.

“You have a lot of siblings?”

“Yes? Oh, yes. I have two older brothers and two older sisters.”

“…….”

That’s a lot. Five siblings at his age is rare. Semin, noticing Yooho’s surprise, asked cautiously,

“How about you…?”

“Huh? What… Oh, I’m an only child.”

“I see.”

While they conversed, Driver Jeong drove smoothly with skillful handling. The roads were clear, and there wasn’t a single honk to be heard. Since when was Seoul such an easy city to drive in? Yooho chuckled, thinking of his coach, who always drove with the windows down, yelling curses.

Soon, they arrived at a luxury hotel in the city center. A hotel meal. As expected, Yooho calmly prepared to get out. However, the car passed the guest entrance in the basement and continued further in.

“We’ve arrived.”

They stopped in front of a small door, tucked away around a corner. Three employees in suits were waiting at attention. I didn’t expect this. Yooho chuckled silently, and Semin leaned towards the driver’s seat.

“Thank you, Driver Jeong.”

“Alright.”

Driver Jeong patted Semin’s head and smiled kindly. They looked like a loving father and son.

“Call me 30 minutes before you want to leave, and I’ll come pick you up.”

“Okay.”

Semin replied obediently and got out of the car first. One of the waiting employees took his bag and led the way. As Yooho was about to follow, another employee approached him and offered a hand.

“Allow me to take your bag.”

“It’s heavy, I’ll carry it myself.”

“It’s no trouble. Please, let me.”

If you insist. Yooho took off his sports bag and handed it over. The employee, carefully taking the bag, momentarily stumbled. It wasn’t too heavy to carry, but he seemed to have misjudged the weight, as Yooho had been carrying it effortlessly.

The employee led them to a waiting elevator. Compared to a typical hotel elevator, it was small, but big enough for the five of them. The employee pressed the button for their floor and smoothly began his explanation, addressing Semin.

“Thank you for visiting our hotel today. We’ve prepared a private lunch for you in a room, featuring the ‘Nabi’s Dance’ restaurant’s special lunch menu. You didn’t request any allergy-specific meals or wine, and we’ve set up sparkling water for your drinks. Is that alright?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Semin smiled and glanced at Yooho, as if asking if he needed anything else. Yooho simply shrugged in response.

The suite, one floor below the sky lounge, offered a panoramic view of Seoul through its large windows. It was so spacious that it was difficult to grasp its layout at a glance. A large rectangular table near the window was set for two, allowing them to dine while enjoying the view.

“Then, we’ll prepare your meal right away.”

The employee said, stepping back after pouring sparkling water into the gleaming glasses. A trolley was wheeled in through the open door.

“Just out of curiosity,”

Yooho said, casually watching the dishes being placed on the table.

“Did you book this place just for lunch?”

A top-floor suite in a luxury hotel? Semin paused, mid-way through unfolding a napkin on his lap, at the casual question.

“Ah… no. This is actually…”

“Actually?”

“…Actually, this is… a suite my oldest brother purchased. So, our family uses it sometimes…”

They sell hotel suites? Yooho glanced around the room. Unable to bear the silence, Semin rambled,

“I don’t come here alone… When I told him I was meeting you today, my brother said… since you’re a celebrity, regular restaurants might be uncomfortable, and that it would be better to have a meal prepared in a private room… so Driver Jeong made the reservation…”

“…….”

“So that’s… why…”

Semin trailed off, avoiding Yooho’s gaze. Yooho nodded and picked up his napkin.

“Thanks to you, I’ll have a comfortable meal.”

“……Ah.”

Semin’s face brightened instantly. He’s so simple. Yooho lowered his gaze and added,

“Though it seems a bit excessive for a return favor for some frozen meat from a chain restaurant.”

“That’s because… you’re also cooperating with the photoshoot. I should be treating you better…”

Treating me better? Is he going to buy me the whole restaurant? Yooho’s smile quickly faded. He felt a sudden chill, thinking it might not actually be impossible.

“Speaking of which, didn’t you say you wanted to take paparazzi-style photos? Where are you planning to take them?”

“…….”

“Don’t tell me it’s here?”

If he had to pretend not to notice a camera in this enormous, luxurious suite, it would be quite a challenge. Semin quickly shook his head at Yooho’s question.

“No, we’ll just have lunch here. Well, there’s dessert after the meal, but anyway… there’s a rooftop garden. It’s not open to the public today. You won’t have to worry about other people.”

Yooho’s gaze subtly shifted to the employees standing guard by the entrance. Is it closed to the public, but they’re making an exception for this young master? Or did they close it off to other guests just for him? Either way, it was special treatment, but he had a feeling it was the latter.

A boy who stammered and couldn’t make eye contact, yet naturally handed his bag to the attending staff, and arrived in a Rolls-Royce with a shy smile on his innocent face. Yooho looked at Semin and suddenly realized. Semin was a type of person he had never encountered in his life. That’s why he was curious.

Why did you want to take pictures of me? What about me caught your attention?

As spring was coming to an end, the days were strangely long. While they ate, Yooho asked a few more questions about the photoshoot, and Semin diligently answered, gauging the brightness outside the window.

“What are you going to do with the photos?”

Yooho asked across the table as the last dessert plate was served. Semin blinked, his spoon frozen mid-air.

“What… what am I going to do with them?”

“I’m asking what your purpose is for taking them. Are you going to post them online, print them, or do you have any other plans?”

The purpose of taking the photos, his future plans… Semin opened his mouth slightly and froze, pondering the question. He had only felt the urge to take the pictures; he hadn’t thought concretely about what he would do with them afterwards.

“Are you only going to post them online? Like you’ve been doing?”

Yooho added, showing no sign of impatience. Semin gasped, his heart skipping a beat.

“H-how did you know?”

Yooho raised an eyebrow at his hurried question, as if asking, What?

“How did you know… that I posted the photos online…?”

“You showed me.”

“I did?”

“The photos you sent me. Weren’t those the ones you posted online?”

Semin’s spoon clattered to the floor. He recalled the photos of Yooho he’d taken at last year’s national team trials. He had indeed posted them online, and they had circulated to some extent. But he hadn’t expected Hyun Yooho himself to have seen them.

“…….”

Why? It seemed obvious in retrospect. Hyun Yooho was also a person, he would use the internet… yet, he hadn’t made the connection.

Hyun Yooho was a swimmer, an Asian Games gold medalist, and a striking beauty who would turn heads even without his fame. He was a star who stood in the spotlight, seemingly indifferent to everyone.

Yet, that person had, unknowingly, followed Semin’s traces. Semin rubbed his flushed cheeks and licked his dry lips.

“I’m sorry for posting them… without your permission…”

“Let’s be clear about this. You don’t need my permission to post photos taken during training or competitions. There are so many people taking pictures, it would be a headache if everyone asked for permission.”

“…….”

“But these are personal photos. If you plan to publish them anywhere, you’ll have to explain how you were able to take them. That’s why I’m asking.”

Semin finally let out a soft “Ah.” A photo of Hyun Yooho in casual clothes, standing in the rooftop garden, not by the pool. If such a photo was posted online, not as part of a magazine spread or an interview article, but as a regular post, it would naturally raise questions. So, who took this, and how?

“To put it another way, are you planning to use me as a subject to promote yourself as a photographer… is that what you’re saying?”

Yooho’s questions remained calm and indifferent. Therefore, Semin had to answer carefully. It was different from when he hid among reporters, secretly clicking his shutter. Taking pictures of Hyun Yooho in a private setting and publishing them meant revealing the person behind the camera.

Semin clenched his hands tightly. From the moment he’d spoken to Yooho and throughout today’s events, he’d been floating in a dreamlike state, his heart filled with unfamiliar emotions. But Hyun Yooho, sitting across from him, was real, a human being with an undeniable presence that he couldn’t ignore.

Am I really allowed to photograph this person?

The sudden question made his stomach churn. As Semin remained silent, his head lowered, Yooho sighed softly.

“Is my tone too forceful?”

“No, no. It’s not. It’s fine.”

His increasingly polite replies, as he repeatedly corrected his hastily spoken words, sounded ridiculous even to his own ears. But Yooho didn’t laugh. He simply nodded, saying, “I see.”

“Or do you need more time to answer?”

“Ah…”

“You can speak freely. As you know, I’ve been… an athlete almost my entire life. Swimmers tend to be very active and outgoing. So, I haven’t met many people who are quieter than me.”

“…….”

“Having been in that position myself, I know how tiring it can be to deal with people who have a faster pace. If that’s the case, I can wait, so just tell me.”

Semin blinked, stunned. He’d always thought he should apologize for his slow responses, so Yooho’s words were unexpected.

When interacting with people, a quick response made him seem subservient, and a slow one made him seem unresponsive. The problem was that in both cases, he didn’t know the appropriate speed. It would be easier if he was always fast or always slow, but Semin, usually slow, would sometimes react impulsively at unexpected moments, his mind racing ahead. Then he became both subservient and unresponsive. The atmosphere would turn awkward, and he would be left with regret.

Yooho remained silent, emptying his glass and looking away, as if giving Semin ample time to consider their conversation. The tension that had felt like needles pricking his skin gradually subsided. Semin wiped his hands, hidden under the table, with his napkin. The words that had been stuck in his throat, now sufficiently warmed up, began to emerge.

“……As you said, I didn’t have a concrete plan or… resolution.”

Yooho simply nodded slightly.

“I just… I’ve been a fan of yours for four years… and when I started taking photos, I wanted to take pictures of you, so, embarrassingly, I just… followed you around without thinking…”

“…….”

“I never thought of… myself as a photographer or anything… grand like that…”

“Hmm…”

Yooho hummed and looked directly at Semin, asking,

“Four years ago? Weren’t you in middle school then, Mr. Kang Semin?”

Technically, he wasn’t in middle school anymore, having withdrawn, but Semin simply nodded without further explanation.

“You’ve been a fan since then? Around the time you first filmed the Lee Kang Dairy commercial?”

“Ah… yes.”

“Can I ask why?”

“…….”

“I’m curious. Swimming isn’t a popular sport in our country, and it doesn’t seem like you’re the type to be interested in me just because I’m an Lee Kang sponsored athlete, Mr. Kang Semin…”

The question, slowly but surely, pierced through to Semin. Why were you interested in Hyun Yooho?

Naturally, it had started because of Seong-min. He was curious about the athlete she so confidently endorsed, so he waited for the broadcast and sat in front of the TV.

Until then, the media had been watching Hyun Yooho with a mixture of doubt and anticipation. He was known to be a top-ranked athlete nationally and had good records in the trials, but he didn’t have any medals in major competitions that would make him a household name. The media focused on his appearance rather than his career or potential. Semin wasn’t particularly eager. He was just curious enough to watch.

The first Hyun Yooho match he watched wasn’t particularly exciting. Because it was too one-sided. Especially in the 1500m race, where he crossed the 50m lane 30 times, no one doubted his victory from the midway point. Even Hyun Yooho himself didn’t seem surprised by the time on the scoreboard. He simply smiled leisurely as he received the applause from the audience.

‘Athlete Hyun Yooho, you’ve truly put the nation’s mind at ease.’

‘And at only twenty years old, he’s still a young athlete. We have high hopes for the Olympics in two years.’

Exceptional skills, actor-like visuals, a tall and slender physique, and only twenty years old. It was natural for him to rise to stardom. Offers for commercials and TV appearances poured in, and the media buzzed as if an Olympic medalist had already been born. Lee Kang Dairy’s stock price, whose logo was the largest on his uniform, soared.

But was that all? Semin’s eyes clouded over.

“After I started… taking pictures…”

Yooho, who had been waiting patiently, met his gaze.

He remembered the first time he captured Hyun Yooho through his viewfinder. It was the summer he turned nineteen when he heard that Yooho was participating in the regional competition to qualify for the national team trials. It was exactly one year after Hyun Yooho had withdrawn from the Olympics due to injury, just before the finals.

He didn’t remember what had motivated him to go to the trials. Only the moment Hyun Yooho appeared was vivid. A sudden chill swept through the noisy stands, and all eyes, previously scattered, focused on a single point. Hyun Yooho, hands in his jersey pockets, walked towards the lane. As the sound of shutters filled the air, Semin instinctively raised his camera.

The time Yooho stood still, looking down at the starting block, wasn’t long. It wasn’t instantaneous, but it was brief. But Semin pressed the shutter, and a rectangular record remained. He could look at it for the rest of his life if he wanted to.

“I’ve wanted to ask you this since I first saw that photo.”

Yooho’s voice was low, his tone even and calm. His words, neither pressing nor demanding, evoked a strange feeling in Semin.

“What were you thinking when you took it?”

The feelings he’d buried deep inside, never acknowledging them even to himself, easily reached his tongue, already warmed and ready. Semin opened his mouth and took a relaxing breath.

“……I thought… maybe everyone has a place they long to be…”

Yooho tilted his head. Semin blinked.

“When I first saw your competition…”

“…….”

“I thought… if I were born like that, there would be nothing to envy or fear in the world…”

A strong, well-built physique, lips curved in a gentle smile, unwavering eyes – anyone who met him would feel a sense of awe.

“So…”

Semin wiped his sweaty hands again. It was the first time he’d told anyone this. He hadn’t even imagined he would say it to Hyun Yooho himself.

“So I was curious. Why… would you choose to enter the water?”

“……Hmm?”

A question mark appeared above Yooho’s head. Semin quickly continued,

“I mean, I… always wanted to be… a normal, functioning person on land… so it seemed strange to me that you, who already has everything I want, would struggle in the water.”

“…….”

“But when I went to see the competition… that day, when you came out and looked at the lane before the race…”

Semin paused and took a deep breath. He was quickly running out of breath from speaking so much.

“You looked like someone who wanted to return to the water. As if that was where you belonged… and the land you were standing on wasn’t your place…”

He remembered crying. Tears had streamed down his face uncontrollably. The people around him were too busy taking pictures to notice.

Where you were born didn’t matter. Everyone had a place they truly longed to be, a place they wanted to live. The place Hyun Yooho, strong and free on land, longed to be was inside a 50-meter rectangular pool. Semin was the same. Trapped in his flawed body, he always longed to stand on the same ground as others.

To some, I must have seemed the same. Someone who wasn’t content with what they had, someone who pursued an unknown world, must have seemed strange and frustrating.

Nevertheless, people wanted to choose their own place to live and breathe. The only difference was that Semin had crumbled and given up at the first setback, while Yooho had endured a hellish rehabilitation to reclaim his.

“……So I wanted to cheer for you.”

It was a selfish sentiment. The longer Yooho spent in the water, the more Semin felt like he could also find his place somewhere. Yooho listened silently to his rambling story. His gaze, lowered, settled somewhere on the table.

The returning silence felt particularly suffocating to Semin. As usual, regret crept in. He felt like he’d said too much again. Just as he was about to instinctively apologize, Yooho broke the silence with an unexpected question.

“Do you want to try swimming?”

After a long pause, Semin asked dumbly,

“……Huh?”

“Have you ever tried it?”

Semin blinked and shook his head. He’d never even done proper warm-up exercises, let alone swim.

“There’s a pool here, right?”

“……Yes, I think so…”

“I’ll teach you. Do you want to try? We can take the photos later.”

He was stunned by the unexpected offer, but it didn’t take long for him to voice the answer that came from his heart.

“……Yes.”

* * *

The VIP pool was located one floor below. It was a luxurious indoor pool with a small pool, a jacuzzi, and a few beds. Yooho, looking around the pool, the deepest part of which was only 1.6 meters, finally turned to Semin, who had appeared after a while, and let out an incredulous,

“You’re planning to go in the water dressed like that?”

Semin, who had been about to apologize profusely for being late, gasped. He was wearing loose-fitting swim trunks and a white t-shirt.

“This… you said it was a swimsuit…”

“Take off your t-shirt, not your pants. You’ll catch a cold if it gets wet.”

“…”

Semin unconsciously grasped the hem of his t-shirt. He couldn’t help but look at the man in front of him. Yooho, wearing only his practice jammers, fully revealed his rock-like upper body. Even though it was a sight Semin had seen countless times in the media and at the gym, seeing it so close made him break out in a cold sweat.

“I’ll… I’ll take it off when I get in.”

Yooho was famous not only for his face but also for his physique. However, when he was alone, he usually gave off a lean impression. This was because of his slender waist, accentuated by prominent serratus anterior muscles beneath his developed rib cage, and the defined abs clinging to his stomach. His broad, straight shoulders created a picturesque silhouette. The thought of revealing his own pitifully thin body in front of such a person filled Semin with self-deprecation.

“Alright, then.”

Yooho replied easily and beckoned Semin closer. Semin hesitantly moved towards him.

“You said you’ve never swum before, right?”

“…Yes.”

“Not even casual swimming, like playing in the water?”

Semin looked up and fell into deep thought. He had spent most of his childhood in hospitals, and even after starting school, he couldn’t recall ever going to the beach or a pool for leisure. Even on family vacations to resorts, he mostly stayed on a sunbed or rested in the room.

“Have you ever dived? Like, with your head completely submerged?”

Yooho asked more specifically as Semin was pondering how to define his lack of experience. Semin finally shook his head comfortably.

“Ah, no.”

“Then let’s start with diving.”

“…What?”

“Actually, let’s warm up first.”

Yooho stopped Semin and stood facing him a few steps away. Semin, unable to interject and revise the frightening plan he had just heard, instinctively raised his arms along with Yooho.

“Straighten your back.”

Yooho interlocked his hands above his head and gently bent his upper body. Semin, glancing sideways at the supple way Yooho’s solid body curved, inhaled sharply. The movement seemed so simple and easy for Yooho, yet it was difficult for Semin to even clumsily imitate it. He felt like he would lose his balance and fall over if he bent any further.

“Having trouble?”

Yooho asked, straightening up. Semin reluctantly nodded. As always, belated regret washed over him. What was he thinking, agreeing so readily? He knew this would happen.

“Let’s see… Just a moment.”

While Semin was feeling dejected, Yooho moved behind him. Then, a large hand covered Semin’s left side, from his ribcage to his hip.

“Uh…”

Semin flinched and shrugged his shoulders, and Yooho caught his right elbow.

“Stretch your arm up as far as you can.”

Yooho’s voice was too close. His lips were near Semin’s ear. Semin clenched his fists, hiding his trembling fingertips, and swallowed hard.

“Tell me if it hurts.”

The hand on his elbow slowly applied pressure to the left. Semin’s upper body tilted slowly. A dull ache spread from his armpit to his side.

“Ugh…”

Yooho paused at the sound of Semin’s voice, which escaped only when he couldn’t bear it any longer. He pushed Semin’s waist back up to his original position.

“You’re quite flexible, even if you lack muscle.”

“…R-Really?”

“The other side.”

This time, his right hip was held, and Yooho stood closer. Their skin brushed briefly through the thin fabric of Semin’s shirt. Semin blinked rapidly and then closed his eyes. He felt unusually anxious and his stomach was in knots.

“Focus. You’ll get hurt.”

Perhaps noticing his fidgeting, Yooho slightly tightened his grip on Semin’s side. Semin startled and lowered his head. Yooho looked down at the pale nape of his neck and then slipped the back of his hand under Semin’s chin.

“Head up.”

“Ah, yes, sorry…”

Semin reflexively lifted his face and held his breath. He had made eye contact with Yooho, who had slightly turned his body. He was momentarily unnerved by Yooho’s quiet gaze. He felt a thump in his chest, and then his heart began to pound.

“…”

Blood rushed to his face due to the accelerated beating. His cheeks burned. Yooho’s eyebrows twitched slightly. Semin quickly returned his gaze forward and blurted out whatever came to mind.

“I, I think I can do it myself now.”

The hand around his waist withdrew without hesitation.

“Alright.”

Yooho showed him a few more simple stretches and carefully watched his form as he warmed up. By the middle of it, Semin was sweating profusely. Only after his body was sufficiently warmed did Yooho finally point to the pool.

“The key to swimming is getting comfortable in the water. The easiest way to do that is to try diving a few times.”

With that, he entered the pool first. Semin hesitated for a long time before finally taking off his t-shirt. His pale upper body, as if it had never seen sunlight, was hesitantly revealed. He carefully folded his clothes and placed them on the bed before returning to the pool. Crouching in front of the handrail, Semin’s shoulders looked pale in the light.

Although he had almost no muscle or fat, his natural physique wasn’t frail. Yooho, casually glancing over Semin, paused. Several long scars were etched from his flat chest to his sides.

“…”

Though faded as if weathered over time, their shapes were distinct. Yooho turned his head and changed the subject before Semin could notice where his gaze had lingered.

“You seem like you’d be good at sports if you trained.”

“Yes… What?”

“Come in. The water isn’t very deep, so don’t worry.”

“Okay…”

Semin straightened up and carefully grasped the ladder handrail. His pale, smooth toes touched the water first. Faint ripples spread as he was gradually drawn into the pool.

“…”

He seemed to be doing fine until the water reached his waist, at which point he hesitated. Gripping the handrail with both hands, he looked back at Yooho with a worried expression. Yooho tilted his head.

“What’s wrong?”

“…Yooho.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Is… is it deep here?”

“It’s not deep. You can stand on the bottom.”

Reassured, Semin took another step down. The problem was that the ladder ended there. Unable to find another foothold, Semin’s expression became anxious again.

“Should I hold you?”

Yooho asked as he approached. Semin quickly nodded and extended one arm. Yooho placed Semin’s arm on his shoulder, supported his waist, and gently pulled him in. As Semin’s feet left the bottom, he floundered and clung to Yooho. Goosebumps covered his exposed neck.

“Slowly.”

Yooho gradually lowered Semin until the water reached his chin. Semin, still clinging to Yooho, was breathing rapidly.

“Are you very scared?”

Semin shook his head, but his expression stiffened. Yooho continued his explanation in a low, soothing voice.

“Nothing will happen in a small pool like this, especially not as opposed to the ocean. As long as you don’t panic.”

“…Yes, yes.”

“First, take a deep breath, put your head under, and imagine you’re sitting down in the water. Can you do that?”

Semin nodded silently. He was clearly scared, but Yooho put his worries aside and held both of Semin’s hands.

“We’ll go under on the count of three.”

“…”

“Take a deep breath when I say three.”

Semin replied softly, “Yes,” and took a deep breath. He seemed determined to try. Relieved, Yooho slowly counted. One, two, three. As soon as the short count ended, he confirmed Semin had taken a deep breath and plunged under the water first.

Semin, eyes tightly shut, bent his knees as Yooho pulled him down. Yooho tapped Semin’s tightly closed eyelids. “Open your eyes.” After a few more tries, Semin finally opened one eye slightly. Refracted light from the surface shimmered dimly in his dark pupil.

Are you okay?

Yooho asked with his eyes, slightly squeezing Semin’s hands. Semin gave a hesitant nod and then a small smile. A forced smile, meant to reassure Yooho.

It wasn’t long before their clasped hands stiffened. Just as Yooho was about to push off the bottom to ascend, Semin’s mouth opened and white bubbles erupted. Yooho quickly wrapped his arms around Semin and shot upwards.

As soon as they surfaced, Semin convulsed briefly and erupted into a harsh cough. Yooho supported him, preventing him from collapsing, and held his head upright. Each cough shook his thin frame alarmingly.

“Spit out the water.”

Yooho pressed Semin against him to stabilize his shaking body and whispered softly. Semin clung to his shoulder, catching his breath for a while before lifting his pale face.

“Ah…”

Semin covered his mouth with his hand as he coughed again, forcing a smile despite his furrowed brows.

“I… I was startled. No, you must have been startled. I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. Everyone does that the first time. You usually don’t know how long you can hold your breath.”

“Still, I’m sorry… sorry. It was hard, but I thought I could hold on…”

His pale lips trembled as his coughing continued. Drained of all color, Semin looked as though he might crumble if exposed to sunlight. Uneasy, Yooho grasped his shoulders and leaned closer.

“Semin.”

“Yes… Ugh.”

Semin couldn’t finish his short reply before coughing again. His breathing seemed to be getting rougher. Yooho narrowed his eyes and grabbed the ladder handrail with one hand.

“Let’s get out.”

“I’m… I’m okay…”

“Let’s rest for a bit and try again later. Come on, let’s get out.”

At his coaxing words, Semin finally climbed the ladder. His trembling hands couldn’t properly support his weight. Yooho climbed out first and pulled Semin up, supporting his back.

Semin collapsed as soon as his feet touched the tiled floor. He leaned forward, his hands braced on the ground. His coughing continued, and his labored breaths rasped.

“Semin.”

“Heuk…”

Yooho wrapped a large towel around Semin’s back. Semin continued coughing in short bursts, his breathing still excessively rapid.

“Semin, listen carefully.”

Yooho pulled Semin closer, wrapping his arms around his thin frame, and pressed Semin’s forehead against his neck.

“Listen to my breathing, and match your breaths to mine.”

“…”

“Do you understand?”

Semin coughed and replied in a hoarse voice, “Yes.” Yooho took the longest breath he could, close to Semin’s ear. Semin couldn’t follow at once, of course, but with each repetition, his coughing subsided and his breathing slowed. After a while, when Semin’s trembling finally eased, an urgent voice came from the entrance.

“Sir, is everything alright?”

Two staff members rushed over and checked on Semin. Semin’s eyes were half-closed, and he seemed dazed. Yooho held Semin’s ice-cold hand and called his name several times, but his responses remained slow.

“We’ll call an ambulance.”

A staff member said worriedly, and Semin finally opened his eyes wide. He shook his head frantically.

“Just… call Mr. Jung, my driver… Please.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine. Just… call Mr. Jung.”

One of the staff members ran off to make the call. The other offered to get a warm drink and left as well. Alone again, Yooho quietly observed Semin. Semin avoided his gaze, his face slack with exhaustion.

“Semin.”

Yooho wet his own suddenly dry lips. Now that the situation had calmed down, setting aside the initial shock, he wondered what had just happened. He wanted to ask if Semin had a fear of water or if he had a pre-existing respiratory condition. He pushed those questions aside and said what he needed to say first.

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I was a bit rash…”

If human expressions could be read like text, the first word Yooho would have seen was ‘despair’. The next largest word would have been regret. Therefore, it wasn’t difficult to interpret Semin’s reaction to his apology.

He didn’t want to hear those words.

Suddenly, Semin scrubbed his face with the towel wrapped around him. He then looked up and gave a weak smile.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. You must have been so startled…”

Yooho remained silent, staring at the redness around Semin’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. Please… Please don’t worry about it. I, I sometimes get like this. I should have told you beforehand… but since I’ve never swum before, I didn’t know. That this… would happen.”

“…”

“Anyway, it’s… it’s a common occurrence, and you just happened to be unlucky enough to witness it, so please don’t… worry about it at all.”

Just then, the staff member returned. He handed Semin a glass of warm water and said that Mr. Jung would arrive soon. Semin, helped to his feet by the staff member, apologized to Yooho once more.

“I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll be going now. The hotel will arrange a car for you…”

“…Ah, it’s okay. I’ll just ask them to call a taxi, so don’t worry and go.”

Semin seemed to want to say something more, his lips parting slightly, but then he turned and left. Yooho sighed silently and rubbed his forehead. He couldn’t take his eyes off Semin’s slumped figure as he walked away. Just before Semin disappeared inside the entrance, Yooho saw him raise his hand and wipe his eyes.

“…”

Sighing audibly this time, Yooho muttered to himself.

“This is… troubling.”

The feeling of Semin’s ice-cold skin still lingered on his hand. Yooho looked down at his hand and then ruffled his hair.

* * *

[Yooho 10:20 PM]

[Did you get home safely? 10:20 PM]

[I’m really sorry about today 10:21 PM]

[I’m sorry 10:25 PM]

Yooho, yawning widely, looked down at his phone screen and scratched the back of his head. 10 PM bedtime, 6 AM wake-up had been his unwavering schedule since he started his athletic career. Last night had been no exception, so perhaps the timing was just bad. He sat down with his legs stretched out and slowly typed a reply.

[06:01 AM Just saw your messages. I’m an early sleeper]

[06:02 AM I don’t think there’s anything you need to apologize for, so don’t worry about it.]

In fact, Yooho was the one feeling apologetic. It wasn’t uncommon for someone new to the water to get scared and panic, and considering Semin’s personality, he should have anticipated that Semin wouldn’t express his fear or discomfort openly.

Normally, if he had seen Semin’s pale, trembling state, he wouldn’t have pushed further. But Yooho had been a little excited. He had wanted to introduce Semin to the water. Although the water was unforgiving and didn’t always accept humans, he had vaguely believed it would be alright in the enclosed safety of the pool, with him watching over.

‘Everyone wants a place where they can breathe and live…’

Semin’s words had dredged up feelings Yooho hadn’t even realized he had. But what had truly surprised him was the familiar look in Semin’s eyes when he spoke those words. The look he had seen countless times since he was first slammed by a wave in the Jeju sea, in the eyes of those who watched him train and cut through the pool, day after day.

I want to swim as fast as you. I want to be like you. I want to know how.

Admiration and envy were different lenses focusing on the same emotion. People sometimes try to escape that hellish feeling by praising or belittling the talents of others. Praise and condemnation are merely the binary choices of a person already caught in the thrall of another. Yooho didn’t believe either.

Nevertheless, Semin’s expression had left a strong impression. He hesitated for a moment before adding another message.

[06:04 AM Are you feeling alright?]

Just then, the “1” indicating Semin was typing disappeared. Yooho was beginning to worry he had woken him up too early when the screen changed and a call came in. It was from Semin.

“…Hello?”

Putting aside his puzzled thoughts, he answered the phone. “Hello,” he said in a sleepy voice. A soft sigh came from the other end.

― Hyun Yooho, this is Kang Sungmin.

It was a clear, low female voice, speaking a familiar name. Yet Yooho couldn’t immediately connect the caller with Semin. After blinking a few times, he realized, “Ah,” and rubbed his eyes. Right, this was Semin’s older sister. He’d forgotten again.

“Yes, Director Kang. Hello.”

― I’m sorry to contact you like this. I’ve been so busy, it’s been difficult to find a time when you’re available.

“No, it’s alright. I apologize for not getting back to you sooner after hearing you called.”

― That’s fine. Anyway, Semin won’t be reachable for a few days. He went to the emergency room early this morning and was admitted. It seems like they need to observe his condition until tomorrow, so…

“What?”

The abruptness of his voice sounded sharp even to his own ears. However, he was more concerned with the words he’d just heard than the rudeness of interrupting his elder. The emergency room? Admitted?

“Did something happen? What happened?”

He asked urgently, but Sungmin didn’t answer immediately. She seemed to be considering where to begin.

― Well… Nothing in particular happened, his fever just wouldn’t go down.

“…What?”

― What?

“A fever?”

A grown adult going to the emergency room in the middle of the night and being admitted because of a fever? Without any accident? Yooho tilted his head at the difficult-to-grasp sequence of events. Sungmin seemed to realize something and spoke.

― Did Semin not explain anything at all…?

She stopped herself mid-sentence. Another sigh came through the phone. Yooho listened patiently, focusing on her voice. After a while, Sungmin spoke in a resigned tone.

― I was going to tell you this separately, but Semin is… a bit frail.

“Frail, meaning…”

― Literally. His lung function is poor, he has a weak immune system, and he’s anemic. So a persistent fever of unknown cause is dangerous for him. Most of the time, he recovers with rest, but his fever spiked so high this morning that he had to go to the ER.

“…”

Yooho couldn’t help but recall Semin’s body at the pool. If anything he had seen was related to what he was hearing now, it would be the surgical scars. Fortunately, he had enough sense not to voice his sudden curiosity, so Sungmin continued.

― I told Semin not to stay out too late when he said he was meeting you… I was going to ask you to keep an eye on him, in case he got carried away and overworked himself without checking his condition.

Yooho rubbed his forehead. He had nothing to say.

“I’m sorry.”

― Don’t say that. I’m explaining this now, but it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that Semin is sick.

“No, but… I feel responsible.”

― Why? Did something happen?

Sungmin asked without a hint of agitation. Yooho’s reaction seemed familiar to her. Thanks to this, Yooho was able to calmly explain what had happened. Sungmin listened silently and replied nonchalantly after he finished.

― Don’t worry about it. Something like that wouldn’t cause a major problem.

“But…”

― He’s probably more stressed about you seeing him like that. He hates showing people that he’s sick.

Yooho suddenly recalled Semin’s words. The confession that even though he was born a land animal, it was difficult for him to live as normally as others on land.

“Director Kang, I’m sorry, but…”

― Oh, right. I’ve taken up too much of your time, haven’t I?

“…No, it’s not that. I wanted to ask if it would be alright to visit him at the hospital.”

Sungmin fell silent. It was a silence that was difficult to interpret. Is it not allowed? He was searching for a way to politely backtrack when a soft reply came.

― I would appreciate it if you did. Will it interfere with your training?

“If it’s alright for me to go after 6 PM, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

― Okay. I’ll give your number to the staff in charge. They’ll contact you.

“Yes, thank you.”

Yooho hung up and got up from his seat. Although about ten minutes had passed, he still had time before he had to leave. Stretching as he crossed the room, he felt a strange sense of unease as he recalled that Director Kang Sungmin had called him from Semin’s phone.

They must be close. Sharing phones and all. The thought brought with it a slight discomfort. Yooho clicked his tongue and opened the bathroom door. He thought he should try to call Semin directly rather than messaging him.

* * *

“Your temperature.”

Semin nodded weakly and tucked the thermometer under his arm. Even that small movement was exhausting. He had been on antipyretics all day, but his body refused to relax.

“It’s gone down quite a bit compared to this morning. We’ll check it again later, and the doctor will decide on tonight’s medication.”

“Okay…”

“Is there anything else you need?”

“No… Thank you…”

“I can get you an ice pack if you’re still uncomfortable.”

“No… I get cold with those…”

It was getting dark outside. The sudden realization that he had spent another day cooped up in the hospital filled him with an overwhelming sense of gloom. As the nurse left the room, Mr. Kim, his housekeeper, placed a worried hand on his forehead.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“I’m fine. Why don’t you go eat something, Mr. Kim…”

Semin held Mr. Kim’s hand. Mr. Kim was usually the one who stayed by his side when he was hospitalized. She finally checked her watch and let out a small cry of surprise.

“It’s already dinner time. I’ll pick something up on my way down.”

“Then can you get me some ice cream? The kind they sell at the first-floor shop.”

He had no appetite, but he felt he needed to say he wanted something to eat so Mr. Kim would feel comfortable leaving. As he hoped, she readily agreed.

“I’ll be right back.”

“No, take your time. I’ll be sleeping.”

“Alright, alright.”

Mr. Kim picked up her handbag and headed out of the room. Finally alone, Semin slowly sat up. His head felt heavy, as if his blood had pooled there. His hands, resting listlessly on the bed, swayed in his blurred vision.

“…”

He couldn’t help but remember. It had been a particularly long and painful night. He couldn’t forget Yooho’s startled, dismayed expression. He was also bothered by the lack of a response to the apology messages he sent later.

‘I guess I won’t see him again.’

The thought itself wasn’t sad. It wasn’t like they were ever easily able to meet anyway. It was the memories that tormented Semin. Words he had consciously buried would sometimes suddenly echo in his ears.

‘Ugh… Our group is doomed. We got Kang Semin.’

A voice, laced with laughter, speaking as if it were a joke. The boy had never once frowned at Semin or spoken harshly to him. He always smiled and maintained a gentle tone.

‘It can’t be helped. There’s no reason why someone gets stuck with the hot potato. It’s just bad luck.’

The other children laughed. With faces devoid of malice. Semin could only manage an awkward smile in response. Then, the boy would ask with a momentarily serious expression, “Semin, is it funny?”

‘Your family must have it hard. They have to take care of you all day, don’t they?’

He had looked so concerned that Semin had once thought the boy was a truly thoughtful friend.

‘Even family finds it difficult, so how hard must it be for your classmates? Don’t you ever think about that?’

Semin slumped further onto the bed. He pressed his fever-flushed face into the clean sheets, but it didn’t cool him down.

He knew he couldn’t do anything as well as others. But he at least wanted to try. He didn’t think he was asking for much, to not have it end so completely and utterly in failure from the very start.

“It’s too much…”

His mumbled words disappeared into the folds of the sheets. At the same time, a static noise came from the speaker. Code Blue, Code Blue… A hospital was inherently a place that couldn’t be quiet. The dispassionate voice delivering the news that someone was in critical condition faded, but the static from the speaker lingered for a while.

That’s why he didn’t hear the knock right away. Of course, even if he had heard it, he wouldn’t have reacted differently. Hospital rooms allowed medical staff to enter at any time, and a knock was merely a signal of imminent entry, not a request for permission.

It took a long time, or at least that’s how it felt to Semin, for him to register the incongruous sound amidst the low white noise and lift his head. The distinct click of the doorknob turning sounded particularly loud because the white noise ceased at that exact moment.

“…Oh.”

A stunned sound escaped his lips. Semin gripped the sheets tightly.

“Hi.”

The first thing he saw was a pink shopping bag from an ice cream shop. His line of sight was at that level. He tilted his head up slightly, and then he saw a face. Hyun Yooho, with a faint smile, stood at the half-open door.

“May I come in?”

He asked for permission.

“Uh… come… come in, the chair…”

How did you know to come? Please come in. Where’s the chair? The words that rushed to his mind tangled together, rendering them incomprehensible.

“Can you eat ice cream? I wasn’t sure what would be an appropriate gift for a hospital visit, so I just grabbed this.”

Fortunately, Yooho entered without seeming to mind and set down the shopping bag and the backpack he was carrying. Semin’s head tilted further back as he followed Yooho, who approached with a lighter gait.

“…Yes! I love ice cream. I eat it all the time.”

“That’s good.”

“Yooho, how… how did you get here? How did you know…”

“I sent you a message, and your sister called me.”

Yooho replied casually and suddenly reached out. A large hand blocked Semin’s view as it gently covered his forehead. Semin, about to ask another question, lost his words and widened his eyes.

“Wow.”

“…”

“You’re burning up.”

Beyond the hand that trailed along his hairline and withdrew, a worried smile appeared. Semin swallowed hard.

“Are you okay?”

As his surprise subsided and reality set in, a delayed wave of concern filled Semin. He must look awful, I haven’t even washed my face. Semin nodded exaggeratedly, trying to hide his flushed face.

“I’m fine. I’ll… I’ll get better soon. I’m not always like this, it’s really only occasional… and it’s treatable.”

“Huh?”

“So, I… I’m not always in bad shape like this…”

“Why are you making excuses? Being sick isn’t something to be ashamed of.”

Yooho asked, puzzled. Semin bit his lower lip, unsure how to respond. Being sick might not be shameful, but it was a weakness. It was a harsh truth of the world he had painfully internalized during his childhood.

“…”

Because it’s a burden. Because it makes people worry. These were reasons Semin couldn’t voice. It would only force a response he didn’t feel. Semin forced a smile and spoke in a deliberately clear voice.

“Y-You’re right. It’s not shameful, but I just… Yooho, please have a seat.”

“It’s okay. I just stopped by for a moment, I have to go soon.”

“…Oh.”

Semin quickly closed his mouth after the unintentional, disappointed sigh escaped. But he couldn’t hide the momentary shadow that crossed his face.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay…”

Yooho trailed off, staring intently at Semin. Semin, sensing Yooho’s hesitation, panicked and waved his hands.

“Oh, right, right. You’re busy… Thank you so much for coming all this way.”

“Should I stay longer?”

“It’s not that, I just feel bad that I can’t offer you anything, you came all this way…”

“It wasn’t far. The taxi got me here quickly.”

Yooho replied easily and pulled over a visitor’s chair, plopping down. Now that they were at eye level, Semin hiccuped.

“What are you going to offer me?”

“What?”

“You said you wanted to offer me something.”

“Oh, offer, um…”

Semin’s eyes darted around the room before landing on the refrigerator. He fumbled for his slippers and pulled his IV pole along with him. Yooho watched attentively as Semin deftly handled the IV line connected to his body.

“Sorry, I don’t really have anything… How about a vitamin drink…?”

“Okay. Give it here.”

At Yooho’s nonchalant reply, Semin took out a bottle and twisted the cap. He offered the opened bottle to Yooho, who cocked an eyebrow slightly.

“You opened that well.”

“Huh?”

“I thought you might not have the strength in your hands to open it.”

When unsure how to react to a statement, the best course of action was to smile. Semin offered a vague smile. Yooho brought the bottle to his lips and added softly,

“I meant you look weak.”

He then patted the bed as if telling Semin to sit down. Feeling obligated to sit where Yooho indicated, Semin shuffled over. As he sat on the bed, placing the IV pole beside him, his knees brushed against Yooho’s. Looking down, Semin saw Yooho’s legs clad in black sweatpants. His long, strong thighs looked as solid as rock. Embarrassed by his own thin legs hidden beneath the loose hospital gown, Semin placed his hands on his knees.

“I’m asking because I don’t know,”

Yooho’s voice, as always devoid of malice or ulterior motives, reached the top of Semin’s head.

“Should I stay longer, or should I go?”

“What?”

“I sat down because you seemed disappointed when I said I was leaving, but now that I’m sitting here, you seem uncomfortable.”

Semin blinked, his eyes wide, not immediately grasping Yooho’s meaning. The lingering fever made him dizzy whenever he tried to think. Yooho stared at Semin for a moment and then sighed softly.

“Never mind. What am I doing to a sick person…”

“…”

“I saw your messages late, that’s why I replied late. I go to bed at 10 PM.”

Conversations with others were always like this. There was too much information to process at once. The more he wanted to make a good impression on someone, the more difficult it became. Semin clenched his fists on his knees.

“I…”

Sometimes he imagined being able to freeze time, just for a moment. He didn’t need much. Just ten minutes, or even five, would be enough to come up with a decent response without panicking. A response that wouldn’t burden the other person and wouldn’t make him hate himself.

“I…”

But time marched relentlessly on, and a few seconds of hesitation stretched into an eternity of silence. Each time a bored look flickered in the other person’s eyes and a resigned sigh escaped their lips, Semin could only retreat further into himself.

“…”

Would it happen again this time? Semin frantically replayed Yooho’s words. Should I stay longer, or should I go?

If the decision were his, he would want Yooho to stay. He wanted to be with him a little longer.

Am I making you uncomfortable?

Being with Yooho wasn’t exactly comfortable. He was constantly on edge, analyzing every fleeting expression and nuance in Yooho’s tone. When they ate together, he had to focus all his energy on not choking.

“Semin.”

Yooho snapped his fingers in front of Semin’s confused face. Semin looked up, startled, and Yooho offered a reassuring smile.

“Don’t push yourself, let’s talk later. It’s not like today’s the only day.”

“…”

“When will you be discharged?”

“…Discharged… As soon as my fever goes down… Maybe tomorrow.”

His mouth finally opened after a simple question. Yooho nodded and stood up. …Is he leaving? Semin stared blankly at Yooho’s retreating figure before snapping back to reality. Yooho gestured slowly towards Semin, who was getting up, holding his IV pole.

“Stay seated. Let me know when you’re discharged.”

“Oh…”

“Are you going to eat the ice cream now? Should I put it in the fridge for you?”

“…No, no, it’s okay. Just leave it…”

“Okay,” Yooho said as he walked towards the door. He was really leaving. Semin stood awkwardly, gripping the IV pole tightly.

‘I know it’s tiring to deal with someone who’s faster than you.’

So he had said he would wait. That Semin didn’t need to be anxious or afraid. Semin knew that Yooho leaving now was also a part of that waiting. That it was okay to let him go. That nothing he didn’t want would happen, and that he would see Yooho again, unchanged.

“I…”

Even so, he wanted to explain, right now. His urgency propelled him forward. Thump, thump, the precarious sound of his thin-soled slippers made Yooho pause.

“I… want… you to stay.”

Yooho’s hand was already on the doorknob. Clatter, the wheels of the IV pole rattled loudly.

“I wish… you would.”

Without hesitation, Semin pushed the slightly open door closed. Thud, Yooho, caught between Semin and the door, turned around with a surprised expression. Semin, one hand gripping the IV pole and the other pressing against the door, began to speak rapidly.

“But, I look terrible right now, and I’m… I’m embarrassed to be seen like this… You said it wasn’t something to be ashamed of, but I… I wanted to see you properly… looking presentable. This hospital gown is so… shabby…”

Semin had his head bowed so low that Yooho could only see the crown of his head and his reddened neck. He could feel the heat of Semin’s breath against him.

“I know you’re busy… with the AG season approaching. So if you want to leave, I shouldn’t stop you, but… if you’re curious about what I want… I want to be with you longer…”

“…”

“And if we’re together, I want to… do something nice for you, but…”

The emotions embedded within the disjointed words pouring out of Semin’s fevered body resonated with Yooho, colliding head-on with the curiosity he had carefully buried in his heart. There was only one thing he could say, one question he could ask in response to the curiosity surging within him. Yooho leaned against the door and slowly raised his right hand. Semin’s cheek, which met his palm, was hot and soft.

“Semin.”

He applied slight pressure, tilting Semin’s face upwards. Semin gasped and met his gaze.

“Do you like me that much?”

Yooho’s smooth, gentle voice flowed into Semin’s ear. Semin looked bewildered and then nodded.

“…Yes.”

Why is he asking something so obvious? Before he could dwell on the question, Yooho’s hand withdrew. He rubbed his forehead and hummed.

“Really?”

A short silence followed. This time, it felt different. Yooho stroked his chin, lost in thought. Semin watched him anxiously, unsure of what was going through his mind. After a moment, Yooho sighed softly.

“For now… I understand.”

“…What?”

“I’ll think about it. You should rest for now, Semin.”

“What…? Okay…”

Semin nodded instinctively. Yooho gently removed Semin’s hand from the door. He led Semin back to the bed, pulled back the sheets, and then turned to leave.

“Call me as soon as you’re discharged. I can answer calls immediately between 6 and 7 AM, 12 and 1 PM, and 6 and 10 PM.”

“…?”

“Call me, if possible. It’s faster.”

Yooho held his hand to his ear, mimicking answering a phone. Semin quickly nodded, “Ah, ah.”

“Okay, I’ll call, I’ll call. Get home safe.”

“Okay. Sleep well.”

Yooho waved and left without looking back. Semin stared at the softly closed door for a long time, only lying down after Yooho’s footsteps had completely faded away.

“…”

I’m not sure what just happened, but I can call him, and we can meet again, and maybe even take pictures together? Now that he could finally organize his thoughts, a weak laugh escaped his lips.

“He’s so nice…”

His head was still dizzy and heavy, but the large stone that had been pressing down on his chest was gone. He felt like he could finally breathe. Semin buried his flushed face in the rustling sheets. A fluttering feeling tickled his stomach.