CNC Ch 9

“It’s not like we were close, but I think I knew a lot about you.”

“…”

“I was your manager, after all. I accompanied you wherever you went, picked you up, and took you places.”

But he guessed Yoon Hye-an wasn’t that kind of a person to Yong-jae. He swallowed those words.

“You took care of my cat, right?”

“Well, there was no one else.”

With no family around and no close friends to take care of these things at a time like this, it made sense.

According to what he found out at the hospital, Yoon Hye-an had complicated family relationships. No, wouldn’t it be better to say it’s simple?

Yoon Hye-parents an’s immigrated to the United States before he had even turned one. His parents divorced less than five years after moving. Yoon Hye-an had switched between his biological father and mother several times. When his father divorced for the third time, he ended up living with a stepmother who wasn’t related to him by blood.

He left the United States and returned to Korea after running away from home several times, losing contact with both his biological parents and his stepmother. As a result, he was practically without a family.

The idea that every family was harmonious and selfless was a type of misfortune that Choi Hong-seo could understand better than anyone else. It was a far more common story than most people with normal families would ever think.

“If you need more time to adjust, you can keep her with me. Tiffany has been very well-behaved.”

“No, if you’re okay, please bring it here. I’ve already caused enough trouble, now it’s my turn to take care of the cat.”

“…”

Yong-jae, who had been organizing the kitchen as if it were his own, looked back. Although his deep-set eyes might seem sharp at first glance, the gaze within them appeared innocent, like that of a frightened animal.

“Why?”

“Well, it’s nothing. I’ll go get Tiffany while you take a break.”

He said it’s nothing, but Choi Hong-seo had a vague sense that Yoon Hye-an before the accident probably wasn’t the kind of person who would say such things.

“I’ll go buy some groceries on the way back. There’s nothing to eat or drink. If you want something specific, just send me a message.”

“It’s alright. I think I should look at the groceries myself.”

“Yourself?”

“Yeah, favorite drinks and foods… probably all changed.”

“Ah…”

Yong-jae, who was standing at the entrance and stuffing his feet into his shoes, nodded slowly. However, his eyes remained filled with doubt and caution. He hadn’t fully accepted the fact that he had lost his memory.

“But, Hyung.”

“Yes?”

“Can you please drop the formalities?”

“…”

“I can’t get used to it. You seem like a different person… it’s a bit scary…”

“I’m sorry, but… I’m struggling with it too. I’ll adapt slowly. Please bear with me, even if it’s awkward.”

The sensor above Yong-jae’s head turned off as he finished putting on his shoes, leaving the entrance in darkness.

“Hyung.”

Yong-jae’s expression and voice, which looked almost solemn, seemed like a person who had made up his mind and had courage.

“You really don’t remember anything…?”

Choi Hong-seo, who had come out to the front door to see Yong-jae off, nodded.

“You really don’t remember the CEO or me either?”

“For now, yes. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t even speak informally to me?”

“I’ll do it slowly as we get closer.”

Yong-jae stepped closer with a serious expression on his face. He must have missed the spot under the sensor, because the light didn’t turn on despite his movement.

“Hyung then… how about an iced mocha latte instead of an iced vanilla latte?”

It was an odd question whose intention was unknown. Yong-jae’s eyes were waiting so earnestly for his answer that Choi Hong-seo hesitantly responded.

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Right? It’s the same thing, right? They’re basically the same thing!”

Yong-jae looked thrilled, as if he had been freed from years-long misunderstanding. He even grabbed both of Choi Hong-seo’s hands in his excitement.

Yong-jae examined Choi Hong-seo’s face with his eyes, which were closer to 300 degrees. His eyes seemed much more trusting of Choi Hong-seo’s words than they had been previously. And instead of being concerned about the fact that the awakened Yoon Hye-an couldn’t remember the past, he appeared relieved. Yong-jae’s expression and shoulders, as well as his words of “take it easy,” seemed much lighter as he left the entrance.

He felt disconnected from the world as he was alone in the quiet house.

Choi Hong-seo hurriedly opened the window, filled with panic and a sharp shiver on the back of his neck. Only after some of the outside noise began to seep in and he felt linked to the outer world did he calm down.

Was it because of the memory of being alone in complete silence before waking up as Yoon Hye-an? He disliked noise as Choi Hong-seo, but now he was scared of silence. The thought of being drawn back into that loneliness, bodiless, voiceless, and alone.

He slowly looked around the house amidst the comfortable noise.

There were three rooms. Among the two facing the entrance, one appeared to be a storage room, and the other was a walk-in closet. The closet was overflowing with luxurious clothing, bags, and shoes. It was so full that the door didn’t open properly.

But the rest of the space was desolate. It was empty, as if he was about to be moved out from the house tomorrow.

Despite living in an upscale apartment with an impressive exterior in a high-value area, Yoon Hye-an clearly only cared about how he looked to others. In contrast to the walk-in closet, which was so full that it couldn’t even fit one more t-shirt, there were no signs of spending money anywhere else in the house.

Choi Hong-seo walked into the bedroom with the blinds drawn and opened the drawer next to the bed. Among miscellaneous items like cigarette packs, lighters, receipts, and keys, there was another cellphone.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Choi Hong-seo turned on the cellphone.

There were only a few people saved in the contact list. Two of them were CEO Lim and Manager Yong-jae. There was one person who appeared to be a member of ‘Titan,’ and one unidentified number labeled as ‘Bastard.’ That was it.

Yoon Hye-an was the so-called ‘Visual’ of the group ‘Titan.’ Yoon Hye-an was among the most people who received comments that were not really compliments, such as ‘his greatest talent is his face.’ A gorgeous face like him naming someone a “bastard” was strange.

Despite the fact that he had never heard anything good about Yoon Hye-an, Choi Hong-seo shook his head because he still felt they were not a good match. Then he suddenly touched his face with his hands. He thought this was that face.

All records on the cell phone were erased.

There were only a few messages of concern and messages congratulating him on his discharge from some extreme fans who knew his private cell phone number. All records prior to jumping from Dongho Bridge had been deleted.

He wasn’t someone pretending to die to scare someone, as CEO Lim had thought; this person was serious about successfully committing suicide. At least, that’s how Choi Hong-seo, who had experienced dying once, saw it.

Suddenly, exhaustion overwhelmed him.

“Haa…”

He sighed deeply while remaining in the sitting position, then rolled over to lie on his back. He listened to the distant noise from the streets seeping in through the open door for a while as he lay there, crouching in response to the anxiety and loneliness that slowly crept in.

Who am I really?

How long can I remain in Yoon Hye-an’s body like this?

No, maybe I’m actually Yoon Hye-an.

A crazed Yoon Hye-an with falsified memories who believes he is Choi Hong-seo.

If that’s the case, would the personality who thought he was Choi Hong-seo disappear once Yoon Hye-an regained his memories?

Even though Choi Hong-seo jumped because he wanted to disappear, he was afraid of disappearing again. Strangely contradictory. However, living in a state where the inner and outer didn’t match was also confusing.

Choi Hong-seo stared at his phone to distract himself from his anxiety. When he realized that it was a world connected to his understanding, a world where his understanding was alive, he felt like the thick fog clouding his eyes had dissipated and the path he had to follow was clearly revealed. He was able to forget his anxiety and confusion.

Even if that path led to a dark and uncertain future, it didn’t matter. Right now, he had decided to focus on just one thing.

He slowly scrolled down to the article he had read over and over again since he first discovered it a few days ago.