COAC 1

Do Hyeonjun breathed heavily. Unlike his legs, which stood firmly on the solid ground, his head felt as if it were floating in a dizzy spell.

It was true that his pace of emptying the glasses had been exceptionally fast today, but it was a completely different sensation from when he was usually drunk. It was a strange feeling, a heat blooming from deep inside his stomach and spreading throughout his body through his blood vessels.

Even the voices of his classmates, chattering noisily right in front of him, sounded distant, as if coming from underwater. The inside of the restaurant, stuffy with the heat people were giving off, felt particularly suffocating. Do Hyeonjun unconsciously licked his dry lips from a burning thirst.

It was at that moment. A cool energy sharply cut through the muggy air and rushed over him. His mind, which had been hazily submerged, snapped to attention at the refreshing sensation.

“Jeong-ah, did you drink a lot?”

Do Hyeonjun’s slowly blinking eyes dazedly followed the only voice that was clear amidst the clamor. Before he could even come to his senses, his heart recognized him first. It was Kim Chaeyeon.

Do Hyeonjun fidgeted with an innocent water cup while taking in the man who had just arrived. Kim Chaeyeon, wearing a dark coat, was leaning forward slightly and asking the brown-haired man, Seo Jeong, in a gentle voice. Seo Jeong tilted his head up and grinned, his face flushed red.

“Huh? Look who it is. It’s our Kim Chaeyeon.”

“Are you okay?”

“Hey, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Perfectly fine? Your words are slurring right now. You can’t even hold your liquor well, why did you push yourself so hard today? Did someone force you to drink?”

“I drank because I was in a good mood. And I didn’t push myself.”

Kim Chaeyeon’s low, worried voice and Seo Jeong’s response drilled directly into his eardrums. Without even taking off his coat, Kim Chaeyeon looked around the table as if searching for something, then soon got up from his seat. In his hand, when he returned, was a clean cup of water for Seo Jeong.

Do Hyeonjun tossed the cold water into his mouth. The water was tasteless and simply flowed down his throat, failing to quench the burning in his stomach.

“Drink.”

“I’m telling you, I’m really okay.”

“Yeah. I know you’re okay, so drink the water first.”

In a tone as if he were soothing a child, Kim Chaeyeon forced the cup into Seo Jeong’s hand. The water in the cup must have been lukewarm. It was a well-practiced consideration for Seo Jeong, who could not drink things that were either too hot or too cold. While grumbling in dissatisfaction, Seo Jeong obediently drank the water, and watching him, Kim Chaeyeon secretly moved the soju bottle away.

“Kim Chaeyeon. But what are you doing here?”

“Our department’s general meeting is also around here. I stopped by on my way.”

Do Hyeonjun silently stared at Kim Chaeyeon, who answered nonchalantly. That statement was half true and half false. It was a fact that the Business Administration department, to which Kim Chaeyeon belonged, was having its opening semester general meeting today, but the part about it being nearby was a blatant lie. The venue for the Business Administration meeting was in the opposite direction from this restaurant. It was not a distance one could happen to stop by on the way; it was a distance one had to be determined to travel, solely to see Seo Jeong.

But Seo Jeong nodded his head without any suspicion. Unlike Kim Chaeyeon, who had pinpointed his location and come to find him, Seo Jeong would not even know where the Business Administration department’s gathering was being held.

Well, it was as natural as always for Kim Chaeyeon to be where Seo Jeong was. Not only the two of them, but also those around them, considered this fact familiar.

Kim Chaeyeon, who had taken the seat next to Seo Jeong, was busy taking care of him the entire time. He seized the opportunity when Seo Jeong’s gaze briefly shifted elsewhere to fill his soju glass with water, and placed Seo Jeong’s favorite chicken skewer appetizer on his side plate. Do Hyeonjun could only watch the two of them, for whom giving and receiving care flowed as naturally as water.

“Our Hyeonjun-ie! You have to have a drink with your hyung-nim.”

It was Seo Jeong who broke Do Hyeonjun’s one-sided observation of the two men. He flinched and raised his head to see Seo Jeong holding out a soju glass with a laugh unique to drunk people. At the same time, he felt a piercing gaze. Kim Chaeyeon’s eyes, which had been fixed on Seo Jeong the whole time, were now finally turned this way. Even that was merely a result of following Seo Jeong’s line of sight.

“Did you drink a lot?”

If Seo Jeong had not spoken to him, Kim Chaeyeon would not have even known I was here until this gathering ended. This speculation did not stem from some vague premonition or twisted jealousy. It was a cold certainty, forged through the experiences of the past few years.

Do Hyeonjun lightly clinked his glass against the soju glass that had been thrust before him and opened his mouth.

“A little. I kept losing the penalty games.”

Kim Chaeyeon’s question, “Did you drink a lot?” was obviously directed at Seo Jeong, so he answered to fit the situation. Sure enough, Kim Chaeyeon’s neatly shaped eyebrows twitched as if in displeasure. His gaze carried a silent pressure, as if to say, ‘Why did you let him get this drunk?’

But he felt it was unfair, too.

He had ended up drinking too much as well, because he had volunteered to be Seo Jeong’s “black knight,” who got caught every time they played a drinking game. He did not feel the need to make an excuse for that fact. When Do Hyeonjun simply shrugged his shoulders, Kim Chaeyeon’s expression subtly hardened. The one to break that stiff atmosphere was, once again, Seo Jeong.

“Whoo, the soju is going down like water today. I think my tolerance has gotten better.”

It probably feels like water because you filled it with actual water. Watching Seo Jeong empty the soju glass and tap it over his head, Do Hyeonjun let out an involuntary chuckle. A surreptitious sideways glance confirmed that the corner of Kim Chaeyeon’s mouth was raised very slightly, almost imperceptibly.

It was clear proof of affection that only someone who had watched him for a long time could discover. And it was a form of emotion that Do Hyeonjun had already found hundreds of times over.

“I’m just going to the restroom.”

The moment Seo Jeong’s butt lifted from his seat, Kim Chaeyeon reflexively stood up.

“I’ll go with you.”

“I told you I’m fine! Why do you keep treating me like I’m drunk? Look, I’m just like my usual self.”

Seo Jeong, his cheeks flushed red, glared with his eyes wide open, but he could not maintain it and blinked slowly.

“Jeong-ie, I know very well that you’re fine. It’s just that I happen to want to go to the restroom, too.”

Kim Chaeyeon deflected Seo Jeong’s words with an all too familiar lie.

“I can’t believe a single word you say. Not you, Kim Chaeyeon, but Hyeonjun-ie, you give me an objective assessment. How do I look right now?”

Two pairs of eyes immediately turned towards him. With an indifferent expression, Do Hyeonjun picked up a snack from the table.

“You look fine, and that bastard Kim Chaeyeon looks like he really has to pee right now.”

Hmm. Pretending not to notice Seo Jeong narrowing his eyes, he put the snack in his mouth. The soggy snack had no taste at all.

“See? Do Hyeonjun says so too.”

“Hmm. Is that so? Then I guess we can go together.”

Kim Chaeyeon skillfully supported the staggering Seo Jeong and started walking towards the restroom. Worried that Seo Jeong might fall, the veins on the back of his hand, which was wrapped around his shoulder, bulged, and his eyes remained fixed on that one person the entire time. It was as if only Seo Jeong existed in this noisy space.

Looking at Kim Chaeyeon always brought one thought to mind.

If love could be seen with the eyes, perhaps it would be Kim Chaeyeon.

*

“Phew.”

When he slightly opened his mouth, the white breath he exhaled scattered gently against the black night sky.

In early March, the air at the tail end of winter was quite cold, and his fingertips, peeking out of his sleeves, were numbingly frozen. Even after taking a deep breath of the cold air, his dizzy head would not calm down.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had a drink in a while, it’s not clearing up.

Do Hyeonjun, who had been walking quickly with his shoulders hunched, eventually stopped by the side of the road and hailed a taxi.

“Please go to Sangdo-dong Tower Apartment, Building 104.”

He stated his destination and sank deep into the seat. The air inside the taxi was suffocatingly stuffy, he wondered how high the heater was turned up. Even when he unzipped his padded jumper down to his chest and fanned himself with his hand, the strange heat blooming from inside his body did not easily subside. He ended up opening the window a little. Over the rapidly passing scenery outside, the afterimages of the two men floated faintly.

To be precise, it was one person’s blind affection for another.

His eyes and expression, the words he spoke, and even his small gestures. There was no part of Kim Chaeyeon that was not imbued with consideration.

A person in love had a way of shining quietly but gently, like moonlight. In front of Seo Jeong, Kim Chaeyeon was like a small star that held warmth all by itself even in the dark.

Do Hyeonjun liked seeing that sparkle. He liked watching Kim Chaeyeon’s affection for Seo Jeong, so at some point, his gaze always began to follow Kim Chaeyeon. By the time he realized it, he was already irretrievably unable to take his eyes off him.

It was a heartbreak that came with the realization. But it did not matter. He had no intention whatsoever of confessing these feelings to Kim Chaeyeon. He knew that if the day ever came when he found out about his feelings, even this flimsy relationship, tenuously held together by the name of friendship, would be mercilessly severed.

Do Hyeonjun just wanted to watch Kim Chaeyeon, that Kim Chaeyeon who was completely colored with love. From now on, continuously, and always…….