CoP 39

Who could possibly refuse?

The wind was cold, and the breath he exhaled from his chest was cold too. Even his face and hands were numb from the cold, but Sui Cannong felt his heart burning with an intensity that defied the chill.

Although he sensed something amiss in Ji Ling’s words, Sui Cannong’s first reaction was: Who could refuse this?

Without a second thought, Sui Cannong murmured, “…Sure.”

Ji Ling looked at him, his eyelashes fluttering slightly.

Then Sui Cannong saw Ji Ling’s shoulders rise and fall as he lowered his head, seemingly letting out a silent sigh of relief.

“Let’s go back,” Ji Ling said softly.

Sui Cannong nodded in response.

Both lost in their own thoughts, they walked in silence. Sui Cannong’s mind was racing, caught in a loop of rebooting and restarting.

But his brain’s capacity was limited, and each reboot lasted no more than five seconds before another forced restart. All the information in his head became a jumbled mess.

It wasn’t until they got home that Sui Cannong noticed Ji Ling packing his bags.

At first, he thought Ji Ling was just tidying up his clothes, but as the closet emptied, Sui Cannong realized something was off.

He dashed to the closet in one swift move.

“What, what are you doing?” Sui Cannong stammered.

Ji Ling put down the clothes in his hands and looked up at Sui Cannong.

“Like I said, our relationship started on the wrong foot,” Ji Ling explained. “So, we need a fresh start.”

Sui Cannong felt a wave of dizziness.

The events of the evening were complex, and the human brain has its limits. Sui Cannong felt he couldn’t handle any more twists.

He had assumed that Ji Ling’s talk of “pursuing” and a “new start” meant being a bit more proactive and adding some romantic touches to their relationship.

But he never expected Ji Ling’s new start to be so thorough.

“I understand what you mean,” Sui Cannong said, trying to keep his cool, “but it’s so late, and even if we want a new start, can’t we do it in a less… complicated way?”

Ji Ling shook his head. “But your initial offer to live together was also motivated by other intentions, wasn’t it?”

Seeing Sui Cannong speechless, Ji Ling continued, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. From your perspective, you had no issues.”

“I know my so-called pursuit doesn’t mean much, but I just want… for our relationship to be more genuine,” Ji Ling said. “I want this time for our relationship to deepen because you like me, not because you want to protect or take care of me.”

“We both need some time and some distance,” Ji Ling added. “Maybe when we have some space, you can figure out your true feelings for me.”

Sui Cannong took a deep breath, feeling a sense of urgency.

“I don’t need to figure it out because I’ve known for a long time,” Sui Cannong said firmly. “Maybe at first… I had other motives.”

“But as time went on, every time I saw you, I looked forward to it. You’ve always held a special place in my heart,” Sui Cannong said.

Ji Ling was silent for a moment. “I’m willing to believe you.”

“But this time, I want to be more serious,” Ji Ling said. “I want to judge your feelings based on my own intuition.”

“So, can I pursue you properly?” Ji Ling asked.

Sui Cannong never imagined that a relationship could regress like this.

They had already done everything they should and shouldn’t have, and now they were going back to the basics.

At first, he felt a mix of amusement and frustration, but then he saw the seriousness in Ji Ling’s eyes, and the amusement faded.

No matter what he said, it seemed Ji Ling would stick to his decision. Sui Cannong finally said, “But pursuing me doesn’t have to conflict with us living together.”

Ji Ling blinked.

Sui Cannong gritted his teeth. “Even if you want a fresh start, you can still live here… as a roommate.”

Ji Ling looked hesitant.

Sui Cannong took another step back. “If that doesn’t work, we can sleep in separate rooms.”

When Ji Ling walked into the guest room with his pillow and blanket, Sui Cannong felt more helpless than ever.

He went into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror, feeling a rollercoaster of emotions in a single night.

He let out a sigh and buried his face in his hands.

Sui Cannong was overwhelmed with a mix of confusion and disbelief. He was amazed at how well Ji Ling had hidden his feelings and how oblivious he had been.

There were subtle signs, like Ji Ling’s nervousness during their coffee shop meetings, the lemon plant, and the movie ticket hidden in a book.

But who could have connected all these dots?

—Three years. To be cherished so carefully for three years, Sui Cannong felt unworthy.

At first, he felt a sense of pride, but as he replayed the past few months, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed.

Ji Ling had never had suicidal thoughts. So, Sui Cannong’s “rescue plans” and “talk therapy” must have seemed strange to Ji Ling.

Trying to take a photo of the popcorn, only to be stopped every time.

Giving a simple rose, only to be met with a defensive reaction, yet Ji Ling invited him to grow mushrooms together.

Inviting him to swim, only to be handed a large inflatable ring…

Sui Cannong looked at the large hole in the bathroom doorknob, remembering Ji Ling’s confused expression. He felt his heart melting.

He began to understand Ji Ling’s dilemma.

Ji Ling believed that all of Sui Cannong’s approaches and invitations were motivated by concern for his well-being.

Sui Cannong couldn’t argue with that. Initially, his motives were indeed rooted in concern.

But over time, his feelings had changed, though only he knew the true extent of those feelings.

When Sui Cannong walked out of the bathroom, he saw Ji Ling in his pajamas, about to close the guest room door.

Surprisingly, Ji Ling looked unusually light-hearted.

Sui Cannong realized that Ji Ling had been lost in thought for the past few days, probably reflecting on his feelings.

For someone as quiet, shy, and cautious as Ji Ling, it took a lot of courage to express his feelings so openly.

Sui Cannong’s heart skipped a beat. He felt the weight of Ji Ling’s feelings and wondered if he was truly worthy.

“Good night,” Ji Ling said from the doorway.

“Good night,” Sui Cannong replied.

The bed beside him was empty and cold, and so was his heart.

That night, Sui Cannong couldn’t sleep, his mind racing with thoughts. He felt embarrassed and ashamed of his misunderstandings, but then he thought about Ji Ling’s feelings over the years and couldn’t help but feel a sense of joy.

But the joy was short-lived. Seeing the empty pillow beside him, he couldn’t bring himself to smile.

The next morning, Sui Cannong found Ji Ling in the kitchen making breakfast.

Ji Ling rarely cooked, not because he was bad at it, but because his cooking style was unique. Most of the time, Sui Cannong was the main chef, and Ji Ling helped.

Ji Ling’s unique style involved treating cooking as a precise, formulaic art.

He followed recipes to the letter, using a kitchen scale to measure ingredients with exact precision, adjusting them based on the weight of the main ingredients.

It wasn’t bad, just time-consuming. For example, a dish of stir-fried potatoes that should have been ready for lunch was often served at dinner time.

Now, Ji Ling was standing with his back to Sui Cannong, carefully cutting a tomato into uniform cubes. His tense forearms showed how focused he was.

Sui Cannong didn’t want to disturb him at first, but after a while, he cleared his throat. “Good morning.”

Ji Ling turned, holding a plastic knife. “Good morning.”

“I’m making you an omelet rice,” Ji Ling said. “But this knife isn’t very efficient, so it’s taking longer than expected.”

Sui Cannong’s expression became a bit awkward.

Just the day before, he had been praising the safety and convenience of plastic knives.

Now, he felt his face heat up. “I’ll order a better set of kitchen tools later.”

Ji Ling shook his head. “Actually, it has its advantages. I don’t have to worry about cutting myself, so I can cut the tomato into perfect cubes.”

Sui Cannong could only respond awkwardly.

The tomato was juicy, and when Ji Ling lifted the cubes, some juice dripped onto his hand.

After putting the tomato in the pan, Sui Cannong saw Ji Ling lift his hand and lick the juice from his fingertips.

He looked up at Sui Cannong, and their eyes met. Sui Cannong’s pupils dilated.

Sui Cannong’s mouth opened slightly, but Ji Ling looked away.

He turned on the tap and rinsed his hand, speaking softly. “Can you crack an egg for me?”

Sui Cannong hesitated, then cleared his throat and turned to find an egg.

Ji Ling fried the egg to perfection, then tilted the pan to cover the fried rice with the egg, shaping it into a smooth, oval form.

Sui Cannong watched as Ji Ling carefully shaped the egg over the tomato rice.

Ji Ling put down the spatula and said, “It’s ready.”

Sui Cannong grabbed a spoon and eagerly took a bite, only to be burned.

After swallowing with difficulty, he cleared his throat. “Teacher Ji, I have something to say.”

Ji Ling nodded.

Sui Cannong said, “Your omelet rice is delicious.”

Ji Ling looked at him and nodded again.

Sui Cannong continued, “Because your omelet rice is so delicious, I declare that you’ve successfully pursued me—”

Before he could finish his sentence, Ji Ling shook his head. “You’re too hasty.”

“I don’t think I’ve successfully pursued you yet,” Ji Ling said seriously. “I haven’t even experienced the feeling of pursuing you openly.”

“Isn’t it up to me to decide?” Sui Cannong’s heart sank. “So, what does it take for you to feel like you’ve succeeded?”

“I don’t know,” Ji Ling thought for a moment. “Maybe it’s just a feeling. When I feel I’ve succeeded, then I have.”

“The omelet rice is getting cold,” he reminded.

Sui Cannong’s head throbbed.

But Ji Ling’s expression was resolute, and Sui Cannong knew he couldn’t change his mind. He resigned himself to picking up the spoon and shoving a large bite of omelet rice into his mouth.

Ji Ling turned away, quietly washing the pan.

What Sui Cannong didn’t notice was the faint, almost imperceptible smile that crossed Ji Ling’s face as he turned on the tap.