DGMYF 21

Kaiso frowned at Hayworth’s teasing tone. In truth, his words were not wrong. Kaiso did not know much about alphas. No, he did not even want to know. From a young age, Kaiso had received so many crude passes that he came to strongly dislike alphas. Especially after he presented as an omega, the alphas’ interest in him grew, and in proportion to that, his aversion grew larger and larger. Unless they were royalty like Serenity and Joel, it was difficult for an alpha to even exchange a single word with him. Thus, Kaiso had never taken an alpha as even an acquaintance, let alone a lover, so there was no way he would know anything about them.

“In all my life, you’re the first omega with an alpha-phobia I’ve ever seen. It’s a wonder you even had a child….”

“Hayworth, shut your mouth.”

Hayworth stuck out his tongue and then closed his mouth. Beside them, Troy looked back and forth between the two with a face full of curiosity. Then, with sparkling eyes, he held Kaiso’s hand tightly.

“I want to have a baby with you too, Your Grace.”

“Troy, you shut your mouth too.”

He’s over thirty, what’s this about a baby… No, that’s not it. His face reddened at his own solitary thought.

“Ugh, I’ll be leaving now.”

Hayworth covered his ears in horror. Kaiso struggled to push away the images of an aroused Troy that filled his mind and barely managed to speak.

“Before you go, give him some suppressants. What have you been doing, not even giving him those?”

“I did give them to him.”

“I did take them.”

Troy and Hayworth answered at the same time. Usually, when one takes suppressants, an alpha’s explosive libido calms down immediately. Moreover, Troy was not even in rut, his heat period. If even his regular libido could not be controlled with suppressants, what would happen during his rut?

“You took them and you were still like that?”

“Aaaah, I don’t want to hear it. I have no desire to know about other people’s sex lives.”

“No, nothing like that happened—!”

Hayworth shrieked in agony, covering his ears with both hands. He shot up from his seat and shouted as he left.

“Non-betas, honestly!”

With that, he slammed the door. Once again, an awkward atmosphere flowed between the two of them alone in the room. Troy lowered his eyebrows and pouted as if he had been wronged.

“Hing…. I even took them last night…. I guess Doctor Hayworth really is a quack.”

However, Kaiso knew the outstanding effects of suppressants best. He had taken them his entire life, and thanks to them, his heat cycles had passed without any issue, save for just one day. There was no room for an alpha to enter Kaiso’s life as an omega.

That is, until now.

Tears dripped from Troy’s shimmering blue eyes. As he rubbed the corners of his eyes with his fists, his snow-white skin flushed red. His tear-streaked cheeks looked just like peaches caught in a summer shower. Seeing that sight, Kaiso’s heart ached. On top of that, the scent of Troy’s pheromones, which had been bursting forth since a while ago, was dizzying. It was such a sweet scent that it felt like it would have been a disaster if he had not taken his own suppressants.

‘Even your pheromone scent is so like you.’

The misunderstanding that Troy might have figured out the truth was cleared. Once the uncontrollable anxiety disappeared, Kaiso’s mind calmed down, and his chaotic thoughts became clear. Only now was rational judgment possible. Ironically, now that he knew Troy would not leave him, Kaiso became certain that he had to send Troy away.

How terrible had he been these past few days, anxious about whether the truth had been discovered. He could not deceive Troy like this forever. He ought to confess the truth to him, find his real benefactor, and sincerely apologize with appropriate compensation.

‘But right now….’

In Troy’s gaze toward Kaiso, affection for a benefactor and desire for an omega were mixed. If things continued like this, it might be too great a shock for Troy. He would be hurt no matter the method, but he wanted to minimize it if possible.

Perhaps now that he knew Troy had presented as an alpha, this was the perfect opportunity to slowly distance himself. In any case, Troy would soon be leaving for the capital, and then he would have to go to his own fief, so they did not have much time together left. With his overflowing love and unique cheerfulness, Troy would surely be welcomed wherever he went. If he met new people in a new place, he would quickly forget about boring Tianne and the gloomy Duke Windermere, so the shock would be less when he learned the truth. Wouldn’t it also be easier for Kaiso to let Troy go?

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you, Troy?”

“Yes, I’m Your Grace’s very own good Troy.”

Troy crawled over on his knees and rubbed his face on Kaiso’s thigh. A cozy scent burst from his hair. Kaiso gently stroked his head before pushing him away slightly.

“Take three steps back.”

Troy got up with a quizzical expression and did as he was told.

“Let’s maintain this distance from now on.”

Despite Troy’s strong protests, the new social distancing policy was enforced. Troy protested loudly, saying he could not accept it, but he was inwardly relieved that he had not been kicked out. However, when he learned that this policy included a host of unacceptable clauses, such as being banned from Kaiso’s study and room, a ban on eating together, a ban on taking walks together, and a ban on conversations, he wailed so loudly it seemed the ducal estate would collapse.

“Waaah, Your Grace, you’re so mean….”

Troy collapsed in front of the study door and sobbed his heart out. Kaiso never once lifted his head to show his face. The blow was immense.

“I think I’m going to die…. I miss you so much, Your Grace, and I want to touch you….”

It was exactly one hour after the social distancing policy had been implemented.

“Stop being a baby.”

Kaiso added that for the crime of lying about his secondary gender and masturbating against his back, it was a light punishment. However, Troy wailed sorrowfully like a lost lamb, as if he was being so terribly wronged.

“I did it because I like you so much, Your Grace. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

“You won’t be able to now. Because I’m never sleeping with you again.”

Hearing those words, the windowpanes all rattled from Troy’s thunderous crying.

“I don’t want to! I’m going to take walks with Your Grace, and eat with you, and wash with you, and sleep with you. We can’t break up like this.”

“Consider yourself lucky it ended with this. Didn’t you know that alphas are not allowed in our estate?”

After inheriting the ducal title and becoming the head of the family, Kaiso had hired only betas for the household staff and reorganized the guard knights to be centered around betas as well. Knights who were not betas had to stay in the annex located outside the main estate. For over ten years, not a single alpha, excluding guests, could be found in the Windermere ducal estate.

“The Crown Princess was allowed in.”

“Serenity is a guest. Besides, she’s married.”

“I’m going to marry you too, Your Grace.”

“Says who.”

“Says your daughter!”

There was nothing more to argue. He was right. Just as countless knights in fairy tales won the princess as a reward for defeating a dragon, Troy also deserved to win the princess—no, the duke.

But the premise itself was wrong from the start. Logically, who would want such a worthless human being, nailed to a wheelchair and quietly withering away, who wasn’t even their benefactor? Troy’s fervent gaze toward him was nothing more than a small incident born from a misunderstanding.

“Let’s take our time to think about that, since we still have time.”

It seemed he took Kaiso’s roundabout refusal as an affirmation, as Troy’s expression brightened. The sight of him grinning with a tear-streaked face looked truly foolish.

‘I can’t tell if he’s naive or just stupid.’

It was probably both…. Kaiso let out a sigh that could have split the earth as he watched the grinning Troy. Then he turned his gaze back to the letter on his desk, but not a single word registered. It was because of Troy’s pheromone scent, which had been clouding his concentration since earlier. Not an unpleasant smell like someone else’s sweat, but a scent as sweet as cotton candy and as cozy as a cloud. Moreover, that scent kept bringing that scene of Troy, which he could not forget even if he tried, right before his eyes.

‘Stop thinking about it.’

But as it usually goes, vowing not to think about something only makes you think about it more. In Kaiso’s mind, the scene of Troy masturbating against his body played on a loop. It then reached the outrageous scene of him climbing on top of him and slowly pressing their bodies together.

“Ugh!”

At the dizzying fantasy, Kaiso crumpled the letter he was holding. Kaiso hurriedly looked around, as if someone might have read his mind. And his eyes met Troy’s, who was clinging to the study door. An unnecessary wave of embarrassment made Kaiso shout.

“Who told you to release your pheromones?”

“I’m sorry. I’m not good at doing both at the same time….”

Troy wiped away his tears and began to control his pheromone scent. But it was only for a moment. When the tears came again, the pheromones would sneak out as well, and when Kaiso yelled, he would get startled and hiccup, causing the pheromones to leak out again.

It was strange. Ever since being mated eight years ago, Kaiso had never once reacted to another alpha’s pheromones. But he could not understand why he was reacting so specifically only to Troy’s scent.

“Perhaps the bond has broken because it’s been too long?”

When he had asked her one day, Hayworth had answered thus.

“Does that happen?”

“It’s possible if the bond was incomplete. As you know, a bond is a spiritual and physical union. But Your Grace was dead drunk at the time, so the spiritual union could have been incomplete.”

However, a few weeks ago, he had felt a sense of displeasure at the faint alpha pheromone scent coming from a guest. So it did not seem like the bond had been broken.

“Then could there be someone with the same pheromone scent? So you react to a similar scent, for instance.”

The pheromone scent he had smelled on that night eight years ago was very similar to Troy’s. He did not know the alpha’s face, but he remembered the one thing that had pressed down on his whole body—the scent—with perfect clarity.

“Pheromones are like fingerprints. They’re distinctly different for each person, and no two scents overlap. Well, they could be slightly similar, but at least you wouldn’t be able to mistake your bonded partner.”

At Hayworth’s assertion, Kaiso became even more confused. Then what on earth was Troy’s identity?

“First, try asking Mr. Elliot. Whether he can sense Your Grace’s pheromone scent or not.”

He had immediately called Troy over and asked what kind of scent he smelled on him, but he regretted asking the question right away.

“The scent of your hair, Your Grace, is like flowers, so it’s nice, and from the nape of your neck, there’s the smell of soap, and from your fingers, there’s the smell of ink, and your sweat smells sweet….”

“That’s enough.”

He had never dreamed that Troy had been smelling his body like that. Kaiso, blushing in embarrassment, deliberately released a strong wave of his pheromones to see Troy’s reaction. However, Troy looked like he was dying of happiness both before and after, so there was no particular distinction to be made.

Either way, the one who suffered was Kaiso himself. Troy, who was still clumsy at controlling his pheromones, let his scent drift around at all times, and whenever he smelled that dizzying scent, his mind grew hazy.

No, actually, it was like that even when there was no pheromone scent. The thick sensation against his back, the hot breath, the moans that burst out uncontrollably…. The memories of that day washed over him like a wave, drenching Kaiso’s entire body. No matter how many suppressants he downed, the vivid memories and sensations would not be erased. Just recalling that day made Kaiso feel guilty, as if he had become some perverted old man defiling a pure, young child.

‘I was the one it happened to, so why is my conscience bothering me?’

Kaiso tried to distance himself from Troy in any way he could, but it was not as easy as he would have liked. Troy, figuring he might as well go all out now that he had been caught, was constantly looking for opportunities to make contact.

“Would you like to bathe together?”

“Try making some sense.”

“Then let me attend to you during your bath.”

“Get away from me, you alpha.”

“Hee-ing….”

All of Troy’s attendance was forbidden. Kaiso’s needs were attended to by Gordon and the servants as usual. When he said he would hire a new aide, Troy cried as if he were about to faint, so that was put on hold for the time being.

“Father, is the hero a crybaby?” Ingrid whispered one day, the sky particularly overcast, as she sat on the windowsill, dangling her legs.

“Yes, I suppose so. Our Ingrid is brave and doesn’t cry often. I guess Troy is more of a baby than our baby.”

Ingrid looked at the sobbing Troy with a serious expression.

“Hmm, I can’t entrust my father to a crybaby.”

Hearing that, Troy was so startled that he stopped crying.

“No, I’m not a crybaby.”

“Then why do you keep crying?”

“I-I’m not crying.”

Troy briskly wiped his tears with his collar and feigned ignorance. However, his eyes were already puffy and his face was flushed red. He looked exactly like someone who had been bawling their eyes out. The child narrowed her eyes and looked at him with suspicion.

“If you cry one more time, hero, you have to call me unnie.”

“I won’t cry anymore. Really. I’m going to be a dependable father to the young lady.”

Troy vowed with a solemn expression. When he wasn’t crying and kept his mouth firmly shut, his large build at least made him look dependable. The problem was something else.

“Clinging to the window like that doesn’t make you look dependable at all.”

“Your Graaace….”

Troy was outside the window, struggling to peek at Kaiso through a gap in the curtains. Before long, Ingrid and Hunter had also followed him, pressing themselves against the window and leaving handprints everywhere. Kaiso’s head throbbed. It felt as if he had gained three children overnight.

“Ingrid, Hunter. Get down from the window, it’s dangerous.”

The children hopped down from outside the window and clung tightly to Troy.

“Hero, let’s play war.”

“No, it’s time to play house now.”

As the children started to bicker, Troy picked them both up at the same time. Then, meeting each of their eyes, he proposed.

“Then let’s play setting up a house in the middle of a war!”

Hunter only heard the part about playing house, and Ingrid only heard the part about a war, so they both nodded, pleased. The sound of the children’s cheerful laughter echoed from beyond the window. Kaiso, unable to contain the overwhelming sense of happiness, curved his eyes and smiled radiantly.

“Ah, hero, you’re drooling!”

“The hero’s drool!”

Drool was trickling from Troy’s wide-open mouth. Unaware, he just stared blankly at Kaiso. Hunter took a handkerchief from his pocket and clumsily wiped his chin. Only then did Troy come to his senses and mutter as if mesmerized.

“Your Grace, smiling so beautifully like that is cheating….”

“What did I do.”

Kaiso warned him not to talk nonsense in front of the children, then shooed them away with a wave of his hands. After Troy left with the children in his arms, looking dejected, he finished writing the letter to Serenity.

In the letter, he listed plausible excuses for why Troy had not yet gone to the capital—mostly lies about him having sustained serious injuries—and promised that there would be no disruption to the ball schedule. On top of that, he wrote everything from insincere greetings to all sorts of flowery language. Even after he had written everything he needed to say, he could not put down the pen.

‘…Should I ask about the Agares Valley.’

According to the records, it was not Duke Windermere who went to the Agares Valley ten years ago, but the unit led by Princess Serenity. He debated asking her if she had ever rescued a child from the Agares Valley, or if there was a soldier with long, black hair in her unit.

‘Is this something to even debate? Of course I should ask. I might find the real benefactor.’

But for some reason, the pen would not move. Drops of ink dripped from the nib, staining the parchment black. Watching the black spot grow larger, he was lost in deep thought.

‘He’ll be disappointed in me when he finds the real benefactor.’

Kaiso imagined Troy’s clear face contorting with disappointment when he confessed the truth. It was not difficult. And so, Kaiso would become Troy’s first misfortune.

‘What an honor.’

Kaiso shook his head to clear away the idle thoughts and started writing the letter again. Serenity felt indebted to him, so she would surely cooperate this much. After finishing the brief composition, he sealed it with a red wax seal.

Watching the carrier pigeon fly away with a flap of its wings, Kaiso desperately hoped that a reply would not come.