DHG Ch 48

You screwed up big time, didn’t you? Jang Seungyung reproached his past self with a hollow feeling.

Have some fun together, give him a suitable reward. Then use him in the deal with Kim Jinhwan; Kwon Heewoo won’t even be able to lay a finger on me. Just like he couldn’t wield that shard of glass he was holding as a weapon.

That was definitely the arrogant thought he’d once entertained. He had been smug and self-satisfied, like he was leisurely straining makgeolli through an old sieve. Unaware of the situation that was about to unfold right in front of him.

What a foolish notion that had been.

There’s an old saying that even a sharpened blade can’t cut its own handle, and even a traveler with a keen sense of direction can’t see his own nose. This was exactly like that.

His once supremely arrogant self had, at some point, devolved into someone desperately trying to win over his target’s favor.

‘Tried to be clever, and got hit in the head with a wooden ladle.’

Jang Seungyung smiled bitterly and reflected. Of course, some parts of his arrogance had been correct. Kwon Heewoo couldn’t protest or act aggressively in any unfair situation. Just like a moment ago, when he had refused to hit Seungyung even when told to.

However, he hadn’t known that the weapon Heewoo had been hiding would turn inward and wound himself. Like the shard of glass that, unable to harm anyone else, had ended up piercing his own hand.

And Jang Seungyung realized that seeing Kwon Heewoo hurt was the most horrifying thing in the world. He almost wished Heewoo had protested vehemently and attacked him aggressively.

“Come with me.”

These were the words Jang Seungyung spoke after much deliberation, as Heewoo’s crying gradually subsided.

“I don’t want to leave you here. Come with me.”

After realizing he liked Kwon Heewoo, he also realized that his feelings were deeper than he thought. The fragments of emotion that had exploded when he thought he’d almost lost Heewoo had etched a chillingly sharp sense of alarm into his mind.

It wasn’t even the first time. Before this Yoon guy, who claimed to be a businessman, there was Kim Jinhwan, who had climbed the walls of the dormitory. There was no way he wanted to leave Kwon Heewoo in this place after two such incidents.

But Heewoo remained silent and motionless.

“You don’t want to?”

Jang Seungyung asked cautiously, looking at Heewoo sitting there forlornly. He read between the lines of the unanswered question.

You don’t trust me.

Even though I said I wouldn’t send you, that I wouldn’t send you anywhere, you still don’t trust me. Well, how could Heewoo trust him based on mere words?

It was a bitter distrust. It wasn’t a matter of blaming anyone. He had slapped himself in the face, prepared his own grave and coffin; who was there to blame?

Of course, even if he empathized with Heewoo’s feelings, he wasn’t going to just give up. Jang Seungyung bent his large frame again and covered Kwon Heewoo’s tear-stained hand with his own.

“I like you.”

Confessing his feelings so bluntly made him feel suddenly like a child, but it couldn’t be helped. This confession was the quickest way to convey his meaning without misunderstanding.

“I like you.”

He felt a pang of regret for confessing his feelings to Kwon Heewoo, who had just barely revealed his own painful and difficult emotions. But what could he do? This confession, too, was part of the process of untangling today’s complicated mess. Reassuring the unstable Kwon Heewoo was more urgent than a perfectly timed, elegant confession.

And as he met Heewoo’s stiff gaze, Jang Seungyung realized that this was an extension of his distrust. He doesn’t believe my confession.

“I heard from Secretary Hwang. If you heard my careless words, just think of it as me being a half-witted idiot who doesn’t even know his own feelings. Because that’s the truth.”

Putting aside the painful distrust, Jang Seungyung calmly continued his explanation. He had expected this. It was his burden to bear.

“I only realized my feelings now, and that’s why I won’t send you anywhere.”

“…….”

“Honestly, even if you went to that bastard—no, that guy from earlier, do you think you’d be safe and at peace?”

Jang Seungyung reflected quietly. The moment he had prioritized his worry for Kwon Heewoo over his own rage and dealing with the alpha bastard.

When he had looked at that CEO Yoon, he had thought, what does Heewoo think he’s going to gain by following that guy? Who knows what could happen to him.

Besides, why would he rely on such a weakling? Could a guy like that, with only a superficially flashy exterior, truly protect Kwon Heewoo?

He was genuinely worried about Kwon Heewoo.

And in that moment, he realized…

Jang Seungyung wanted to be Kwon Heewoo’s strong sanctuary. Not a flimsy, drafty wall like that Yoon guy, but a solid fortress that could firmly block any storm in the world.

“Are you listening?”

Jang Seungyung confessed earnestly to the silent Kwon Heewoo.

“I want to protect you myself, not anyone else. Because I like you. That’s why I don’t want to leave you here.”

“…….”

“I’ll protect you.”

Thinking about it, it had been strange from the beginning. If he wanted him, he wanted him; if it was lust, it was lust. So why was he interested in Kwon Heewoo’s past?

Unlike objects whose past history affects their present value, Jang Seungyung had wanted only one thing from Kwon Heewoo: his desirably attractive face and body. So why did he care about what kind of life Heewoo had lived, how he had endured? It had been strange from the start.

And the moment he sensed that strangeness, he should have questioned it thoroughly. Even if it wasn’t his style, he should have delved into his feelings and realized his affection sooner. Then he wouldn’t have made such a big mistake.

Then, Heewoo, who had been listening silently, countered.

“But… you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

His voice was less accusatory and more like a sorrowful murmur.

“You didn’t come to see me… you didn’t even look at me….”

His voice trailed off, but Jang Seungyung could easily guess the unspoken words. How can you say you like me after all that?

Seeing Heewoo’s already tear-filled eyes become noticeably sadder, he wished Heewoo would just blame him instead. He gently cupped Heewoo’s face, which was about to crumble again, and coaxed him to speak.

“Because you didn’t like me touching you.”

He explained in the gentlest tone possible, making eye contact.

“Every time I saw you, I wanted to touch you, I wanted to kiss you, but you didn’t like it…. Yeah, it was because of me, only coveting your body.”

But now, his desire for physical intimacy had taken a backseat. It was all unnecessary. The moment Kwon Heewoo tried to go to someone else, the moment he was sad and distrustful, sex had plummeted to a truly worthless value. Because he had learned a painful lesson about what was truly frightening.

“But I’ll hold back now. I won’t touch you if you don’t like it. I’ve finally, like an idiot, gained the ability to do that.”

He still found Heewoo beautiful and his desire stirred when he looked at him, but it was truly okay even if he couldn’t touch him for the rest of his life.

As long as Kwon Heewoo didn’t cry like today, as long as he had color in his face and lived his daily life comfortably.

Even during his time at the orphanage, Jang Seungyung had always looked out for his own interests before helping others. This was the moment he completely disregarded his own gain and displayed one hundred percent pure altruism for the first time.

How could this not be love?

“And I’m going to pay off your debt.”

He needed to eliminate the possibility of that CEO Yoon character, or anyone like him, seducing Heewoo.

Jang Seungyung gazed into Heewoo’s wavering eyes. He gently stroked the still-damp skin around his eyes. Thinking of Kwon Heewoo agonizing over being sold to Kim Jinhwan made his chest ache. It was far beyond simple pity or sympathy.

He wanted Kwon Heewoo to live without worries. He wanted him to live comfortably, study what he wanted, and enjoy a life that was second to none.

“Don’t misunderstand. Just because I like you and I’m paying off your debt doesn’t mean I’m forcing you to feel the same way.”

Jang Seungyung explained the point he needed to clarify.

“I’m doing this for my own comfort, for my own sake. You don’t have to feel burdened. You don’t have to take any responsibility, so just dance happily because you’re debt-free. You know… like when you score a goal in soccer.”

No matter what, I will absolutely pay off your debt. Should I check with Madam Won? Looking into Heewoo’s intensely wavering eyes, Jang Seungyung explained firmly.

“My offer for you to stay at my place for a while is the same. You don’t have to force yourself to listen to me. If you want to stay here, stay here. Your debt will still be paid off.”

Even if Jang Seungyung hated Heewoo staying at Benny’s, there was nothing he could do if Heewoo wanted to stay.

“That’s all I have to say. Now you decide.”

Heewoo stared blankly, mulling over Jang Seungyung’s words. The words that declared he would pay off his debt no matter what decision Heewoo made… and before that, the unbelievable confession that he liked him.

He likes me?

He tightly clenched his trembling hands. He couldn’t fully trust Jang Seungyung.

But he desperately wanted to.

Too much had happened today. He had been anxious with Yoon-guk, plunged into hell when Jang Seungyung appeared, and now suddenly… this person had lifted him to heaven. It felt like he had experienced a year’s worth of emotions in a single day.

…I want to believe him.

“…I…”

It felt like a dream. But he desperately wanted to believe these words, the words that told him he was liked, the words that offered to so easily remove the shackles he once thought he would never escape.

“I like you too.”

The words suddenly tumbled out.