DTD 21

Mistilteinn. It was just another word for “mistletoe,” but in Norse mythology, it’s the fabled branch that killed a god. The reason? Odin’s son, Baldr, the god of light, loved by all, was killed by a simple branch of mistletoe.

“You’re telling me a god’s son was killed by a twig? How?”

“It’s like how Achilles died from a wound to the heel.”

One day, Baldr’s mother, Frigg, foresaw her son’s death. Panicked, she made every living thing in existence swear never to harm him. Because of this, Baldr became invulnerable—never falling ill, and untouched by any weapon.

“They say if you fired an arrow, it’d drop to the ground before reaching him. If you swung a spear, it’d stop in midair.”

“Okay, that’s kind of cool.”

From then on, the gods began to throw rocks and knives at him for fun. Since he was immune, it became a game, a way to show reverence. But of course, not everyone adored Baldr.

“Who didn’t?”

“Loki. The God of Mischief.”

As with all tragedies, it began with jealousy. Loki disguised himself and went to Frigg to find a loophole in her vow. And he discovered it: one thing had not taken an oath to never hurt Baldr.

“Mistletoe?”

“Yeah. She didn’t ask mistletoe to make the vow.”

“Why…?”

“She thought it was too weak to pose a threat. It’s just a parasite that clings to trees.”

Was it arrogance or a simple oversight? Either way, it gave Loki the perfect opportunity.

One day, while the gods were playing their usual game of hurling objects at Baldr, Loki found the perfect pawn: Baldr’s brother, Hodur. Hodur, the God of Darkness, was blind and always felt excluded.

Loki handed mistletoe to Hodur and whispered.

‘Baldr’s over there, try throwing this at him.’

Not knowing any better, Hodur did as he was told, and Baldr fell. The god who had been protected by all things, beloved by all, invincible in every way, was pierced through the heart by a mere twig and died.

“So what can this <Mistilteinn> do exactly?”

“It can kill anything. Even a god.”

“…Seriously?”

That’s why Sang said he’d found a way to kill me. If it’s a divine artifact that once killed a god, then maybe… just maybe, it can also kill me, cursed with immortality. I felt a flicker of hope, until Sang frowned and continued.

“But there’s one catch.”

“A catch?”

“The one who uses it must be Hodur, and the target must be Baldr.”

“…What does that mean?”

“Hodur didn’t want to harm Baldr. He actually loved him like all the other gods did.”

So, the user must be Hodur, which means…

“You have to love the one you’re trying to kill?”

Sang nodded slowly.

“And Baldr believed he couldn’t die.”

“So…”

“The one being stabbed by mistletoe must have no fear of death.”

It felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over my head.

Isn’t it just too cruel to be a coincidence? The killer must love their victim, and the victim must not fear death. How many people in the world fit both? And yet, it matches our situation frighteningly well. It was so perfect, it felt like fate had set us up.

But…

“Where is the rift?”

“Near Vancouver, Canada.”

“Vancouver? Can we even access an overseas rift?”

“I’ve already cleared it with The Association. All that’s left is your decision.”

They’d already paved the way for me, so there was no reason to refuse.

****

It was only a few hours later that we arrived safely in Vancouver. Thanks to prior arrangements with the local Hunter Association, we quickly reached the rift site, which was a vast forest. As always, the enormous rift shimmered in deep purples and ominous blues.

But if <Mistilteinn> really was the key to twisting my fate, I didn’t care what was waiting inside. I’d retrieve it, even if I have to kill the god myself.

“Let’s go.”

The moment I stepped inside, it felt like someone had flipped the stage to black. A splitting headache passed, and my senses slowly returned. From afar came birdsong and the delicate plucking of a lyre. I opened my eyes and bathed in the radiant warmth.

“Wow…”

The landscape was breathtaking. Flowers bloomed endlessly, untouched by rot. The leaves were painted in hues of spring and autumn, the weather like a perfect April day. It really was a paradise.

As I took in the view, a familiar voice called out:

“Hyung? Are you here?”

I turned and saw Sang standing there quietly. How could someone wear nothing but a simple white robe, like something out of a Norse myth illustration, and still look that good? Every time the wind caught the robe and it fluttered, it revealed his firm chest, and I couldn’t look away.

Then I noticed… he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were staring at nothing.

“Oh.”

I’d forgotten. When we enter the rift, one of us becomes Hodur. If I can see all this, that means… he can’t see anything right now.

“Yeah. I’m here.”

I walked up and gently took his hand.

“You okay?”

“As long as you’re holding my hand, I can walk. I’m used to not seeing, since I close my eyes whenever I use my power.”

Ah. I guess it’s a small relief that he, not I, became Hodur.

“What’s it like around here?”

“You know how paintings of paradise throw in every beautiful thing they can? It’s like that.”

“Prettier than <Monet’s Garden>?”

“Hmm… it’s a little too perfect. Unreal, even.”

I wish he could see it too. I tried to memorize every detail, so I could later find a painting to show him. While I was scanning the area, a faint laugh joined the sound of the lyre in the distance.

“Sounds like the banquet’s that way?”

“If they’re all in one place, that works out for us. Let’s find the mistletoe first.”

Like intruders in a god’s sanctuary, we tiptoed around. There weren’t many tree roots or stones in the way, but just in case, I held his hand tight.

After a few minutes, through the web of branches, I spotted a strange cluster like a bird’s nest.

“Oh! I think the mistletoe’s over there?!”

Excited, I pointed, then immediately realized.

“Ah, sorry.”

Right. He can’t see.

“Wait here a sec.”

I helped him lean against a tree, climbed onto a rock, and reached up. My fingers barely brushed the soft leaves. I grabbed my robe with one hand to keep it out of the way and jumped up, like I was popping a balloon caught in a branch.

“Got… it!”

Between my fingers, a mistletoe branch came loose, its tiny roots tearing away. It looked more like a spiky porcupine than a deadly weapon, though.

I studied it, doubtful when Sang spoke.

“You got it?”

“Here, feel it.”

I placed the mistletoe in his hand, and Sang gently touched the soft leaves. A cautious expression crossed his face, then slowly bloomed into a smile.

“Yeah. It’s the real thing.”

“Really? Thank god.”

I stepped closer, intending to head back to the banquet together. Just then, as if perfectly timed, a ray of sunlight pierced through the branches and lit up his face.

His lowered eyes, the long lashes casting shadows, and beneath them,those strange black irises that seemed to be looking somewhere far beyond. It was a picture-perfect moment, so beautiful that I couldn’t help but stare.

“Hyung, have you heard?”

“H-huh…?”

Had I been staring too obviously? Startled, I stammered. A mischievous smile curled his lips.

“They say… if you kiss under mistletoe, you’ll be happy.”

Maybe he thought I’d get flustered again like last time. But strangely enough, I didn’t feel embarrassed at all. Instead, my heart was pounding, like a teenager in love. I stood there silently, and his beautiful face scrunched slightly in confusion.

“…Hyung?”

A breeze swept through. Maybe there was a field of lilacs nearby, their soft scent tickled my nose. His black hair fluttered gently in the wind, and for some reason, it made my heart feel ticklish too. Like this moment could last forever. Like if I just reached out, I could really grasp that thing called happiness.

“Are you still there?”

Maybe he thought I’d disappeared. His expression turned faintly anxious. I stepped in quietly and gently cupped his cheek, and his worried face softened at once.

“You startled me.”

Sang let out a soft sigh and leaned into my hand.

It’s just an old superstition. Like catching a falling leaf and making a wish, it’s not real. And yet… despite knowing that, I found myself wanting to believe. Maybe out of desperation. Or maybe I was just looking for an excuse to touch him.

“Let’s head back now.”

“…Wait, just a moment.”

A breeze blew again, steeped in the scent of lilacs. It felt like it was nudging me gently forward. Slowly, I closed my eyes… and pressed my lips to his.

It was barely even a kiss; it was so light it felt silly to even call it one. But unlike before, I didn’t pull away in a panic, scrambling to avoid his gaze. Not today. For some reason, I wanted to stay close to him a little longer. I lingered, watching him from just a breath away, until a subtle furrow formed between his brows.

“What… was that just now?”

“What was what?”

“Against my lips…”

Watching him touch his lips in confusion made me laugh without meaning to. This guy, who never shows a flicker of emotion in front of others, turns into something soft, like pudding, just for me. How could I not find that adorable?

I snatched the mistletoe from his hand and tapped his lips with it.

“Who knows? Maybe a leaf brushed past you.”

I giggled mischievously, and he frowned, raising his voice.

“Hyung!”

“Heeey, what if the gods hear you and come investigate?”

I patted his shoulder in mock reassurance, which seemed to annoy him even more. He glared at me.

“You’ve seriously been the worst since day one, you know that?”

“Haha, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Trying to lighten the mood, I shamelessly reached for his hand. He sighed, exasperated.

“You’re just…”

“Hmm? Just what?”

“…Forget it.”

He turned his head away, all sulky, but he didn’t let go of my hand. In fact, he laced his fingers with mine. That firm grip warmed me in a way I hadn’t expected. We walked back toward the banquet hand-in-hand, and suddenly, a thought struck me.

“By the way… where do we get the bow and arrow?”

“No need to get one. You can just make it.”

“…Me?”

“You’re Loki, aren’t you?”

Oh. Right. That’s who I was now. Still, this was my first time actually doing something god-like; I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

I bent down and picked up two twigs lying on the ground, one for a bow, the other for an arrow. I wasn’t aiming for anything too fancy. Just something decent enough for Sang to use. As I focused on that thought, both of my hands suddenly glowed, and the twigs began to reshape. A moment later, I was holding a pristine bow and arrow, like something 3D-printed to perfection.

“What the… it actually worked…?”

So this was what being a god meant? Even I was amazed at what I had made. I turned the bow over in my hands, inspecting it, when I heard a commotion in the distance.

What was that?

I crouched low and crept toward the sound. Between the trees, a brilliant light poured down. As my eyes adjusted, I finally saw him, one man radiating a divine aura, standing out clearly from the rest of the crowd.

“What does Baldur look like again? It’d be a disaster if we hit the wrong god.”

“The records say we’ll know him the moment we see him. He’s the god of light, after all.”

They weren’t wrong. Even from a speeding KTX train, you’d recognize him. I silently held my breath as Sang quietly came up beside me.

“Did you find him?”

“Yeah. Luckily, he’s not even looking this way.”

Now was the moment to act, while the gods were busy mingling. I tore a strip from my sleeve to make a long string and tied the mistletoe to the arrowhead. Once I handed the bow to Sang, he took position like he’d done this a hundred times.

“Tell me where to aim.”

I moved behind him, guiding his arms as if to embrace him. A little more to the side… no, higher… or lower? The more I adjusted, the more I felt like we were drifting off target. A creeping anxiety settled in my chest.

Then he stopped moving, waiting.

“Here?”

“God, I hope so.”

I let out a long breath, recalculating the distance, when suddenly, without warning, Sang loosed the arrow. I wasn’t even mentally prepared yet! Alarmed, I grabbed his arm.

“W-Wait—!”

“What’s wrong?”

“What if you miss? Even by a little, and…”

“I won’t.”

His voice was so sure, I couldn’t help but frown.

“How can you be so confident?”

“Because I believe in you.”

“…What?”

The next moment, the arrow flew.

I thought we were doomed. But the arrow soared swiftly, then struck Baldur right in the chest. He clutched the mistletoe and collapsed. The entire hall turned to ice, a frozen hush swallowing the celebration. Then came a roar of rage, aimed right at us behind the trees.

“Who dares strike down Baldur?!”

We had to run. Now. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Sang. Even though he couldn’t see anything, he was calm, smiling even. As if he knew all along it would land. Because his faith wasn’t in himself, it was in me.

“Aren’t you going to praise me now, hyung?”

What… what exactly am I to him?

****

We’d successfully obtained <Mistilteinn>. But was this really a weapon capable of killing a god?

It was barely 20 centimeters long. A single stem branching into several twigs, each bearing scattered oval leaves. If the conditions were met, this fragile-looking stick could supposedly end any life.

“Feels like a lie…”

I crouched in a corner of the bathroom, holding <Mistilteinn> like a pencil and inspecting it. Just then, Mujeong appeared and tapped my shoulder. I looked up and saw the tub had been filled with water.

“This should be adequate.”

He turned off the tap, and I tested the water with my hand. Slightly warmer than body temperature, just right to stay in for a while. Satisfied, I stood up, and Mujeong spoke curiously.

“Why the bath, Master?”

“It slows the bleeding.”

At that, he let out a quiet sigh, as if something had just clicked.

Yes. Today was the day this delicate thing, <Mistilteinn>, would be used. According to legend, the only requirement was that it pierce my heart. However, I’d chosen to use water to ensure my death. Now all I needed was a ‘Hodur’, someone to drive the branch into me.

“Jeong-ah.”

A doubt crept into my mind.

“Do you think it’s really okay to ask Sang to do it?”

Sang had found <Mistilteinn>, knew its history and use, and even offered to help, believing it might break the chains of fate. But now that the moment was here, I was hesitating.

“What is troubling you, Master?”

“There was a time I slit my throat and threw myself into the sea in front of him.”

Trying to end it all so he’d let me go, I’d taken myself hostage and jumped. I’d been desperate then, unable to see any other way. I regret that moment deeply now. If I could erase one memory from Sang’s mind, it would be that one.

“I still remember the look on his face. I’m sure… it scarred him.”

And now I’d be dying in front of him again… this time by his hand.

“I know it’s ironic, but I just… I feel sorry. Like I’m scarring him all over again.”

“Master, the Second Lord is not as fragile as you believe.”

“That may be… but still…”

I stared quietly at the mistletoe branch when Mujeong came close and gently took my hand.

“Then allow me to do it.”

“…What?”

“I shall willingly lend you my hand.”

I thought he was joking. But his face, now close, held not a trace of humor.

“You… know the condition of <Mistilteinn>, right?”

“I do. And you already are aware of my affections, Master.”

His confidence made me laugh bitterly.

“…Yeah. I know. And I’m shamelessly using that, too.”

“That is what I desire.”

As I looked into his unwavering eyes, I had a fleeting thought. Maybe… even though Mujeong couldn’t wield <Mistilteinn>, he could still touch me. Maybe I could hold the branch and guide his—

But before I could finish that thought, the door burst open. Startled, I looked up only to find a familiar face struggling to stay calm.

Had he overheard us?

He’d just arrived for our agreed meeting time, yet it felt like we’d been caught in an affair.

“Sang-ah…”

I instinctively opened my mouth to explain, but Mujeong stepped in front of me.

“How dare you silently trespass in such a private place?”

The warm black eyes that had been focused on me instantly turned cold.

“Get lost. I’m not in the mood for jokes.”

“…That is considerably harsh.”

With a glance back at me, Mujeong vanished into the steam. Another misunderstanding I hadn’t meant to cause. Or maybe it wasn’t a misunderstanding, maybe I thought for a second that Mujeong might be the better choice.

Suppressing a sigh, I took a step toward Sang, who was standing still at the door.

“Sang-ah… I…”

“I know exactly what you were thinking. Just like last time.”

Sang brushed past me and stepped into the tub, then he held out his hand.

“But even so, let me do it.”

“…Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Of course it’s not okay. But no one else can.”

When I hesitated to grab his hand, he grabbed my wrist first.

“Whether it’s hurting you or saving you… I have to be there for you at every moment.”

When I sat in the deep bathtub, the water rose to my chest. With two grown men in the small tub, I ended up practically leaning into him. Maybe it was because my whole body was soaked in water, but I could feel the hard tension of his body pressing sharply against my back and waist, more vividly than usual.

“Ha… the tub’s kinda small, right?”

I tried to joke about how strange it was for two adult men to be doing this, but ended up shutting my mouth. When I glanced up, his face looked deathly serious, like a soldier heading straight into battle. I reached up and gently tapped the deep furrow between his brows, trying to smile.

“Even if I say it hurts… You still can’t pull out, okay?”

When I handed him <Mistiltein>, Sang swallowed dryly.

“I’ll… try.”

His voice was calm, but his hand trembled pitifully. He could kill monsters or threaten people without batting an eye, but he looked deathly pale right now, like someone about to take a life for the first time. It was almost pitiful.

“…Should I ask Jeong-ah instead?”

I said it thinking I was being considerate, but it must’ve been like pouring oil on a fire.

“Are you saying that on purpose?”

“No, that’s not what I meant…”

Sang frowned and pulled me tightly into his arms. It seemed like he’d made up his mind, as his hand clenched around <Mistiltein>, his veins bulging. Just looking at that made my mouth dry. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. But I was glad it was he who would stab me.

I let go of all the tension in my body and leaned fully into him. As I gently closed my eyes and exhaled…

Thud—!

An unfamiliar sensation tore through my skin. The pain was indescribable, and I twisted instinctively. Blood-spattered water droplets sprayed out in all directions.

Maybe that’s why his grip on <Mistiltein> suddenly went limp.

“No… It’s not enough.”

This wouldn’t be enough to kill me. Growing impatient, I grabbed his hand.

“…Hyung?”

“You have to go deeper. Push it further.”

My voice barely came out, but he didn’t move. So I took his hand and forced it deeper.

“Ugh.”

As it slowly sank further in, the pain intensified, rippling through my whole body. I bit down hard on my lips to stifle any sound. If I showed I was in pain, Sang would only suffer more.

Only once the branch pierced my heart did I let go of his hand. I didn’t have any strength left. My consciousness faded, and my eyelids felt like they were weighed down with lead. When my head fell forward, I could see the surface of the water, now stained a deep, dark red, and <Mistiltein> lodged deep in my chest.

Swish, swish—!

The gently rippling water brushed against the delicate leaves.

“…It looks like waves, doesn’t it?”

Then Sang pressed his face to my shoulder. In a choked voice, he finally whispered.

“I’m sorry, hyung… I’m so sorry.”

What was he apologizing for? I was the one who should be saying sorry. I glanced to the side and saw him, unable to even lift his head from guilt. If this was my last chance to see him, I wanted to see him smiling. I knew it was selfish, but still, I…

“Sang-ah.”

The shoulder supporting me flinched. When he finally looked up slowly, I spoke.

“Hyung’s happy right now.”

When I smiled faintly, his face twisted even more painfully.

That was my last memory.

****

My body felt heavy, like waterlogged cotton. I couldn’t even move a finger. So I let all my strength go. And strangely, it brought peace. Like I’d become a drifting object, floating endlessly in the ocean,  just as I’d dreamed of since childhood.

Maybe… this is what death feels like?

“…Mmm.”

But then I opened my eyes.

Once again, I saw the white ceiling that greeted me every morning. I reached instinctively for my neck, just in case. If I’d really died and opened my eyes again by some twist of fate, then surely, <Crown of Atonement> would no longer be there.

But as if mocking that hope, <Crown of Atonement> pricked the tips of my fingers.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips.

“This place is way too familiar to be Hell.”

Even a divine relic that once killed a god couldn’t break my curse? I lay there dazed, as the disappointment swallowed me. Then, I heard someone quietly enter the room. I glanced over to see Sang carrying a bowl of water and a towel.

“Good morning.”

I greeted him as I always did, but his handsome face twisted immediately.

Strange. Usually, when I return from death’s door, he’s the first to sigh in relief and welcome me back. But now, he avoided my eyes like a guilty man.

“How long was I out?”

“Five days.”

“Wow… isn’t that a record? Spirit items really are no joke.”

I tried to lighten the mood with a joke but it didn’t help.

“Why are you just standing there? Sit down, your legs must hurt.”

I gestured him over, and he finally sat beside the bed. A quiet silence passed.

He wiped my face gently with the warm towel, but his gaze was shadowed and low.

“…Why do you think it failed?”

“Who knows.”

It’s not that <Mistiltein> lost to the <Contradiction>. They were both A-rank. In fact, in origin and power, <Mistiltein> was superior. And yet, the branch that once killed a god couldn’t end my life. That could only mean one thing.

“…The condition wasn’t met.”

I said it offhandedly, but Sang looked visibly upset.

“…You’re doubting my feelings?”

“No, why would you immediately jump to that?”

I hurriedly sat up in surprise.

“It’s my fault, of course.”

“…Yours?”

“Yeah. Maybe I was afraid of dying.”

I said it as if it were nothing. Pretending like I was okay with dying tomorrow. But maybe, deep down, I was scared.

“But it’s good… seeing your face again.”

I smiled faintly and touched his cheek. Sang said nothing, only biting his lip.

After that, time passed. Quietly, quickly. Less than two weeks remained, and Sang slowly began to unravel. He abandoned our promise to sleep six hours a night. Every time I fell asleep, he’d secretly get up and practice his powers, and then blame himself when he failed.

Cold moonlight illuminated his tear-streaked face at dawn. I watched him quietly suffer, pulling at his hair, but could only pretend to sleep. If I showed I was awake, it would only make things harder for him.

The only thing I could do was hold him and greet him come morning.

“Good morning.”

And Sang would smile as usual, but the anxiety inside him grew darker by the day.

‘I can do it. Trust me.’

‘I will find a way.’

Not long ago, there had been no hesitation in his eyes.

“…Why did it fail?”

Now, he was crumbling.

I wanted to give him hope again, but there was no more time. No new plans. The only thing left now was to destroy <Contradiction> itself. However, as if it were mocking my desperation, the rift refused to open.

But I went anyway, down into the depths of the Ark, where the remaining half of <Bloodletting Sword> resided in its nest-like chamber,

“It’s been a while.”

This was my final hope. So I came to plead, to ask, as the sword’s master. No, I came to throw away pride and beg on my knees if needed. But just as I stepped forward, Mujeong suddenly blocked my path.

“…What are you doing?”

I looked up, confused. Mujeong had an uncharacteristically troubled expression.

“Your body is unwell. Yet you approach something so wicked?”

“I know it’s not my business, but your self-hate won’t change anything.”

“That is not what I meant—”

“Then what?”

When I demanded an answer, Mujeong fell silent.

“If it’s nothing, step aside. I don’t have time for games.”

I brushed past him and approached the sword, kneeling before it. Just as I reached ou, my heart dropped. It felt like a fire erupted inside my chest and surged up my throat.

Panicked, I clamped my hand over my mouth.

*Cough, cough—!* 

Blood spewed out violently.

“…What is this…?”

My vision spun. Mujeong rushed forward, catching my shoulder.

“Master! Are you alright?!”

I heard him, but my eyes were fixed on the blood pooled on the floor.

Was it asthma again? No. This wasn’t just a cough; this was pure blood, and in far greater amounts than before. I pressed my aching chest and whispered.

“Don’t tell Sang-ah.”

“At this point, what else can you hide?”

As I pushed away his arm to wipe the blood, something strange happened. The blood I coughed up… wriggled.

It slithered across the floor, creeping up the shattered blade. And then, my blood… became part of the broken sword.

“What the…”

I instinctively reached out to touch it, but Mujeong yanked my arm away.

“Master, do not touch it!”

He’s… actually yelling?

I stared quietly at his angry face, and then suddenly realized something.

“You knew…. didn’t you?”

That the closer I got to the remaining piece of <Bloodletting Sword>, the worse my body became.

Mujeong bit his lip hard, realizing too late that he’d given himself away. So I was right. I found it strange that I kept coughing up blood. It wasn’t asthma. It was <Bloodletting Sword> inside my body. It had sensed that my time was running out… and was trying to escape, to return to its original form.

“Now you know, please… stop.”

Mujeong held my shoulder and spoke in an unusually desperate voice. I appreciated his concern, but this wasn’t the time to play it safe.

“…No. This is actually good.”

“My Lord…”

“If the sword returns to its original state, maybe the rift will open faster.”

I pushed Mujeong aside and knelt again before <Bloodletting Sword>. The moment my hand touched the blade, it felt like someone had reached into my chest and squeezed their fist around my heart.

But Sang must be in even more pain than this. He cries quietly to himself every night; he’s going through something far worse than I am right now.

So, please…

“…I’m begging you. No, this is an order, as your master.”

If you can hear my voice, give me one last chance.

“Help me destroy <Contradiction> with my own two hands.”

In fact, the plan to kill me before the deadline and change my fate was already close to failure. So now, I just wanted to get rid of this curse somehow. Even if it meant that <Contradiction> and I would disappear together.

So, while searching for a way to eliminate the spirit item, my steps naturally led me to her.

“Sorry for suddenly showing up. Guild Master.”

“Oh my, I’m disappointed. Weren’t you calling me by my name before?”

Taeyoung winked playfully and sat down opposite me.

“So, what did you want to talk about? Surely you’re not really thinking of joining Sehwa.”

My hand, which was clasped under the table, tightened instinctively.

“Do you know of a way to properly destroy a spirit item?”

As soon as I finished speaking, her eyes sharpened subtly.

Originally, I wanted to ask Sang, but he wasn’t in a state to listen to or respond to anything at the moment. So I lied that I was visiting Auntie Yuran’s grave and came directly to Sehwa Guild, since Taeyoung seemed like the only one who would definitely know.

“I do. I once read The Association’s experimental report.”

“Something like that… exists?”

“When you become the head of a famous guild, you encounter many things due to the nature of the work.”

Maybe there would be clues I needed inside. I was about to shamelessly ask if she could show me the report, but perhaps my thoughts were written all over my face, because before I could speak, Taeyoung drew the line.

“Unfortunately, documents owned by The Association cannot be taken outside the headquarters.”

“Ah…”

“But I have a pretty good memory.”

I was momentarily discouraged at the sharp refusal, but my eyes widened at her next words. Didn’t that kinda sound like an ‘ask me, and I’ll tell you,’ or was I just reading too much into it? 

As I blinked and stared at her, Taeyoung smiled brightly and spoke.

“I went to Yuran-unnie’s grave not long ago and noticed signs that someone had visited. They even cleaned it up nicely… Usually, there would be nothing but fallen leaves by now. So, think of the information as a thank you.”

My hesitation to ask about classified documents must have looked to her like I didn’t want to owe her anything. But thanks to that considerate gesture, I suddenly found it easier to speak comfortably.

“Does a spirit item start decomposing the moment it’s been in a rift for more than 72 hours? Kinda like humans?”

“The time it takes varies depending on the item’s rank. So, for instance, a D-class relic would disappear faster than a B-class relic. The same goes for people. Ordinary people can’t even last 10 minutes in a rift, but awakeners can survive up to 72 hours.”

The stronger the spirit, the longer it lasts. This was quite different from what I expected, and it confused me.

“What about an A-class spirit item?”

“Well… I guess it would last even longer than a person would.”

Damn. I had vaguely assumed every spirit item took about 72 hours. So, even if <Bloodletting Sword>’s rift opened, I’d be devoured by the rift before <Contradiction> would be. Why hadn’t I known this until now?

And why didn’t Sang tell me the truth while I was obsessing over the 72-hour period? Was it because he didn’t know? No, he must have known. Like Taeyoung, he would’ve come into contact with The Association’s documents as a guild master. Then why…

“However, there is a way to shorten the time.”

Her clear voice snapped me out of my endless thoughts.

“What is it?”

“Breaking the spirit item into multiple pieces.”

Taeyoung broke the sugar cube with a teaspoon and put it into her coffee as she explained.

“An iceberg doesn’t melt easily, but if broken into icicles, it melts quickly. It’s the same principle.”

Fracturing a spirit item, huh. It wouldn’t be easy, but maybe it would be possible with <Bloodletting Sword>.

“How much does it reduce the time by?”

“A D-class spirit item lasted 4 hours in a B-class rift. But when split, each piece decomposed within an hour. Most experiments were done only on D-class spirit beasts, though… so I don’t really know about higher classes.”

Still, that could be ok. Reducing it to a quarter of the time was still a pretty significant difference. If I could safely split <Contradiction>, it might even be possible to annihilate it before I get eaten by the rift. The feeling was like finding a faint ember in a lamp I thought was extinguished.

I tried to hide my happiness as Taeyoung curiously studied my expression.

“But why are you asking this?”

“…I had something come up where it would be beneficial for me to know.”

“You’re not planning to try it, are you?”

I was momentarily at a loss for words. Maybe interpreting my silence as a yes, Taeyoung rubbed her cheek with a troubled expression.

“I don’t know your situation, but it’s best not to do that.”

“Why?”

“Breaking a spirit item causes an enormous explosion of power, like a bomb going off. When The Association experimented with D-class spirit items, four casualties occurred. If it’s A-rank or higher… I don’t know what could happen inside the rift.”

Her eyes, staring sharply into mine, gleamed.

“It might not end with simply death. You might even… wander forever inside the rift.”

Suddenly, everything before me darkened.

If only I could split <Contradiction> with <Bloodletting Sword>, I wouldn’t care what happened to me. But Sang? Surely he wouldn’t let me go into <Bloodletting Sword>’s rift alone. Even if the explosion from <Contradiction> destroyed the rift, he would stay by my side.

Is that why he didn’t tell me the truth? Because if I knew, he thought I might leave him behind?

“Thank you. Please keep today’s matter a secret.”

Sang-ah. You really… know me too well.

****

Seven days remained. There was only one week left until the curse consumed me.

My body grew weaker by the day. Is this what Sang meant by ‘the end of <Bloodletting Sword>’s master’? I cough up blood more often now, to the point where I even wake up in the middle of the night and vomit blood in the bathroom. The blood filling the sink slowly slithers away as if it’s alive, probably returning to its original body trapped deep in the Ark.

Because of this, hiding my condition from Sang became difficult.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Anyway, this power was never really mine…”

Wiping my mouth, I came out of the bathroom, and he immediately supported me as if he’d been waiting. His appearance was worse than mine; even with a face like he was about to collapse, he took care of me first. It was ridiculous.

Before dawn, we sat side by side on the bed, staring at the sea, when I finally spoke.

“Have you heard from Noah?”

Sang quietly shook his head. I had asked Noah to notify me immediately if an S-class rift opened, but so far, there was nothing. What is <Bloodletting Sword> really thinking? What if its rift actually opens the day before I die?

“Sang-ah.”

Even so, I have to stay committed until the end and do what needs to be done.

“If the rift opens… are you going to come with me?”

His hand trembled as he poured water into a cup. Then his anxious eyes turned to me.

“Why are you asking that?”

“I was curious.”

“I’d never let you go alone.”

His firm voice brought a faint smile to my lips.

Sang was like that. He insisted that he must be beside me every moment. Hearing that back then had made me incredibly happy. I thought no matter how many times I pushed him away, he wouldn’t give up on me.

But now, things were different.

“Thank you. For being by my side.”

Sang knew from the start how long it took for an A-class spirit to disintegrate. Even though he knew that fracturing a spirit item could shorten the time, he hid it because he didn’t know what fate awaited me inside the rift.

‘Can’t we somehow find a way to survive together?’

His constant reassurance, the ‘I’m with you,’ actually meant ‘I’ll share your fate.’ If I removed the curse and survived, we’d live together. If not, then we’d die together―even if that meant decomposing inside <Bloodletting Sword>’s rift after 72 hours.

…But why? If I destroyed <Contradiction>, he would survive, right? Of course, it might be hard without me at first. He’d be tormented by memories of me while living. But time heals, and he could bury those dim memories and live well alongside his colleagues who cherish him.

He must not die because of me. If someone precious to me said they wanted to die with me, I would try to stop them by any means… Yes. Thinking that far strengthened my resolve again, the driving force that moved me from the moment I inherited this curse and realised I harbored these taboo feelings for him.

“Hyung, what did you call me for?”

I was determined to save at least that one person by any means.

“Matteo, listen carefully to what I’m about to say.”

****

I called Matteo separately and explained everything that had happened and what was to come. Matteo was so overwhelmed by the sudden flood of information that he was silent for a long time. But I knew that Matteo cherished Simeon like a real older brother, more than any other apostle.

So there was no one else I could ask.

“Please. I don’t want Simeon to be sacrificed because of me.”

When I grasped his hand tightly, Matteo’s eyes shook rapidly.

“T-Then what should I do…?”

“On the day the rift opens, just do as I say.”

While telling Matteo my plan, I felt like there was a thorn pricking my chest. It must have been my conscience, already worn so thin that only a tiny fragment smaller than a fingernail remained.

Now, not even dust would remain.

‘Then you promise too.’

‘What?’

‘Promise you won’t lie to me. Promise you won’t give up.’

Once again, I’m about to break that promise.

That day, the snowfall was unusually heavy. The whole world turned pure white, and I was so fascinated by it that I didn’t even notice the cold as I headed toward the cliff. However, the sea was still blue. No matter how much snow fell, the sea remained blue, rippling calmly, indifferent to everything.

That steadfast sea was my only comfort. Even if I left this world and years passed, that sea would remain just as I remember it. If I were granted another life, I’d want to be a microorganism endlessly drifting in the sea. A creature that can live without loving or being loved.

As I reached out my hand, entranced by the waves crashing against the cliff, someone suddenly blocked my path.

“It’s okay. I’m just looking.”

I expected he’d appear. However, when I looked up, I saw eyes as red as my fingertips.

“What? It was you?”

He smiled lightly and withdrew his hand, then frowned and said something. However, I could no longer hear that annoying voice. I could only guess what he was saying by looking at his moving lips.

“I won’t catch a cold from just this.”

“…….”

“What’s with that face? Did I guess wrong?”

Mujeong let out a small sigh.

Only the owner could see and touch the soul bound to a sword. Since a part of <Bloodletting Sword> was inside me, Mujeong always stayed by my side. But now, I couldn’t hear his voice anymore. It meant my time as the owner was almost up.

“If someone like this claimed to be the owner of the <Bloodletting Sword>, everyone would laugh.”

Joking as usual, I soon felt a hot fire burning in my chest again. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the familiar pain. Then, a harsh cough burst from my mouth, accompanied by the familiar wet thickness of blood.

A wave of dizziness hit me, causing me to collapse. Mujeong immediately reached out for me, but his hand passed right through me. Stunned, he stared blankly at his own hand, and I couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.

“Looks like you can’t even touch me now.”

Mujeong kept reaching out, disbelief written all over his face. However, the more he tried, the more his hand blurred and faded. Soon, I wouldn’t even be able to see him. I looked at his confused face and smiled, as always.

“Thank you for everything.”

His usually playful face twisted in anguish. The veins in his neck bulged as he struggled to yell something, but it was as if an invisible, soundproof wall blocked it out.  When I shook my head with a forced smile, the hand he reached out with dropped limply.

What did he just say? What thoughts filled those lifeless red eyes? I couldn’t reach him anymore, so I didn’t know. However, I sensed one thing faintly.

Today was the last day.

“…….”

Mu-jeong knelt before me. Instead of looking down at his weakened master, he lowered himself to meet my eyes. Who would believe he was the ruthless demon who’d murder anyone who got in his way? Finally, he bowed his head deeply in respect. 

That was the last time I saw him in this world.

****

That night, as always, Sang moved pieces on an invisible chessboard. I used to watch his diligent hands and imagine the chessboard in my mind, but not anymore. Now, I only worry about him.

He hadn’t slept properly for weeks, and heavy shadows darkened his tightly shut eyes. He looked worse than when he was holed up in his room for two weeks because of the vision from Johan. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so after much hesitation, I spoke.

“Sang-ah. Jeong-ee’s gone.”

The hand moving the chess pieces stopped abruptly.

“Honestly, I couldn’t believe the end was near. But now that Jeong-ee’s gone, it feels real.”

I gently took his hand hanging midair.

“So… that’s enough now.”

His neat eyebrows twitched. When he opened his eyes, he frowned irritably.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve tried enough. So, it’s okay to stop now.”

“No. Just a little more. Soon, just a little more—”

“I said stop it, please!”

I couldn’t hold back my anger any longer. Grabbing his collar and pulling him closer, I saw his pale face glowing faintly under the soft light. He looked so gaunt it was a wonder he didn’t collapse right then.

All this, just to hold onto an invisible hope. Just because I offered him a shaky chance, he clung to an uncertain possibility.

‘I don’t even know if dying will really lift the curse, but I want to take the gamble. I have to try something.’

Why did I say that? Why did I give him false hope? I should’ve hidden it, like always. What was the point of promising ‘no more lies’ if, in the end, I was only going to be a nuisance who vanishes, leaving scars that will never heal?

“Look at yourself. You’re going to die before I do!”

“I’m fine.”

“What do you mean you’re fine? You think I don’t notice? You go days without sleep, and you’re completely exhausting your powers.”

My chest ached more than when I coughed blood. Tears welled up, and I bit my lip hard to keep from crying. I hoped he’d realize how I felt, but his black eyes never lost their glimmer of hope.

“I’m sorry, but I won’t give up.”

“Even if it’s my last request?”

His lips twitched for a long moment, then sealed shut. His Adam’s apple bobbed violently as if swallowing words. I cupped his cheeks and stared into his wet eyes.

“You know, Sang-ah, I loved everything about you. But I especially loved your eyes.”

“…..My eyes?”

“Yeah. Your eyes. I loved your transparent eyes that only reflected me, no matter who I looked like or what I became. So, until the very end, please keep looking straight at me. Keep showing them to me so I don’t forget… okay?”

Tears quietly streamed down his otherwise indifferent face. But I never heard him say he’d give up. How much longer would I have to watch him fall apart?

“This is…..”

At dawn, I awoke suddenly to a violent tremor. I knew immediately what it was; something was happening deep underground in the sanctuary. I rushed down to the base of the Ark with <Contradiction> in hand and saw a fierce rip in the space before me.

The dark purple haze I always dreaded somehow felt strangely welcoming today.

“…Thank you.”

Thank you for opening the rift before time ran out. I wouldn’t miraculously survive, but at least I could destroy <Contradiction> with my own hands. Perhaps it heard my quiet thanks as the black mist flowing from the rift shimmered in response.

Then, I heard a rough voice come from behind me.

“Hyung. What on earth is happening?”

Raphael looked exhausted; it was clear he’d just woken up. I felt sorry for not telling him the truth until the very end, even though I still owed him so much. I tidied his messy hair and smiled casually.

“I’m sorry.”

“…What for?”

Raphael tilted his head in confusion. Soon, other staff and apostles arrived, all panicked at the sight of the huge rift. Among the chaos, I felt relieved that he wasn’t here.

I could carry out the plan safely now. Yes. Let’s not feel guilty. This was enough. After all, my whole life had already been tainted with lies and paradoxes. When I turned back, I saw him. Sang stood there in front of the rift, looking determined, but he would never step inside.

“Sang-ah.”

His pale face stared back at me. He looked different from his usual self, but I still searched his face carefully, tracing his forehead to the tip of his nose, lips, and jawline, as though I were counting stitches in a memory.

Maybe my gaze was a little strange, because his handsome face suddenly twisted slightly.

“…Hyung?”

“You said we should find a way to live together. When I first heard that, I thought ‘maybe’.”

I really hoped there was a way for us somewhere in this world. Like a child covering their eyes, denying the truth until the end. However, with each passing day, it became harder to deny the reality in front of me.

“But… of course, what can’t be done, can’t be done.”

“What do you mean….”

“Please live. For both of us.”

I pulled out the seashell I’d prepared from my pocket. The moment he saw it gleam in my palm, Sang’s eyes widened in realisation. He immediately reached out frantically, but it was already too late.

“Michael.”

When I called his name, a pair of wings unfurled from a shaft of light flowing down from the ceiling.

“This is my last request. Please sing one more time.”

So that no one can awaken until I’m gone.

“Please give everyone a very beautiful dream, let them rest peacefully…”

The pure white bird circled slowly above our heads. One by one, the staff began to fall. Raphael, Yulia, who arrived late—no one was exempt. Just as I thought it was over, something grabbed my ankle.

“Hyung. You can’t….”

I lowered my gaze and saw a face stained with despair. Sang, who I thought had fallen first, held on to me until the end. However, his hand was already weak. He could hold on only a few seconds longer.

“Sang-ah.”

When I called his name, even as consciousness slipped away, he forced his eyelids open. His bloodshot eyes looked unbearably pitiful. I knelt before him, pushed his sweat-soaked hair away, kissed his forehead, and whispered.

“Don’t forgive me.”

Hate me for lying to the end.

Resent me for leaving you alone.

Your hatred will be your strength to live.

So live stubbornly. Please live. Live for me.