EDR Ch 27

A little boy hands me a lollipop quietly. I debated whether or not to accept it, but I did.

“Can’t you at least give me a push on the swing?”

“Go play by yourself.”

I jumped off the swing, my shoes becoming embedded in the sand. The parents and their children look at me strangely as I step out of the sand in an awkward position. I pretended not to notice and sat down on the bench.

I don’t know what to do now. I went home in a fit of anger. My emotions welled up as I sat on the playground near my house. A sigh comes out. I haven’t even submitted my resignation letter, but I’m already skipping work. I also wanted to be more patient and return to the company. No. No. Not really.

2 o’clock. Lunch time is already over. I have to go back. I have to go back, but I don’t want to. I sighed and rested my arms on the bench when the kid who had given me the candy approached me.

“What are you doing here, uncle?”

“I’m not an uncle.”

“Oh, that’s my kindergarten teacher’s clothes, uh, are you a dinosaur?”

The little boy came up on the bench.

“Uncle, do you want to sing and play with me?”

“I can’t sing.”

“Oh, but there’s a shovel over there, so if you sing, a dinosaur will appear.”

“What are you talking about?”

I looked at the little boy. I’m serious. What does a shovel have to do with singing?

“Sand? You want to play with sand?”

The little boy got off the bench again and clung up to my leg.

“Let’s play.”

“I look like a kidnapper, so please go away.”

“Let’s play.”

“Go to your mom and dad.”

“Seon-woo was playing with Sang-chon, but uh, Sang-chon, uh, and uh Seon-woo, have the same front name.”

“Seon-woo!”

A man who appeared to be the child’s guardian came running. He snatches the child and holds him up like he’s light as a feather. He is a young man who does not appear to be the child’s parent. A high school student? At most, he looked like a college student.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Oh, no. It’s okay.”

The man had a gentle impression. The drooping eyes are to the point of looking pitiful. Taking care of a small child is not an easy task.

“Seon-woo is so playful… Did he bother you?”

There is nothing to worry about. Seon-woo stole my swing, but he did what a child would do.

“It’s okay.”

“Maybe, um, is there anything I can do to help you?”

“Why?”

“Ah! It’s just that you’re sitting here at this hour, so I was wondering if something was wrong…”

The man blushed. Seon-woo covered the man’s face with his small hand.

“Sang-chon, let’s play with uncle, Sang-chon.”

“Seon-woo.”

“I’m fine. Have a good time.”

“Ah, my name is Yoo Seon-hae. I live around here. I’m an Omega. Oh, I don’t think you’re curious, but I’m taking care of Seon-woo during the day. Also, I’m a college student, so…”

The man’s face keeps turning red. Seon-woo is playing by fiddling with the man’s ear. My crooked heart lifted its head. My subconscious, which I had endured for so long, started an armed demonstration. I got up from my seat. I could feel the playground sand between my toes. Crazy, crazy, crazy…

Ki-do told me this when I was in college.

‘I think you misunderstand a little. So, even though hyung is popular, not everyone approaches you in that way. I mean, I know you’re handsome, but they’re not asking hyung to date them, are they? Right? Don’t worry too much.’

‘Oh, really? Is that so? Oh, is that really so?’

‘Of course. It’s all because of excessive narcissism. Excessive narcissism.’ [It’s a condition where someone believes everybody has a crush on him/her.]

Excessive narcism.

The excessive narcissism began to burn in the depths of my soul. I can’t tell if it’s excessive narcissism or dissatisfaction with society, but I know that something is burning. I approached the man.

“Am I handsome?”

“What?”

“I must have been very handsome. Don’t you think so?”

“Yes, yes… You are really handsome. Ah, that I’m not talking to you just because of that. I just like that…” 

“Do you like me?”

The man nodded. Even the back of his neck, which I could see a bit of, is also red. Seon-woo doesn’t seem to have any thoughts.

“Sang-chon is a Skellidosaurus. I’m going to play an Acrocanthosaurus.”

“Could you give me your contact information?”

“No.”

“No.”

Seon-woo copied my answer. I looked at the man and smiled. I tried to look as handsome as possible.

“I don’t want to.”

“Then will you at least accept my contact information? I go to University A. I mean, I’m not bragging, but I’m not a weird person.”

“Wow, you must have studied hard.”

I give a thumbs up to the man.

“Please study hard in the future.”

I should go back to the company to write my resignation letter.

***

I’m actually handsome. I don’t have to be conscious of it every day. Being conscious does not make me more handsome, nor does it make me uglier. Anyway, I’m handsome. I know. I know, that’s why people are attracted to me. I will just act as if I don’t know. It’s annoying when you go around declaring you’re handsome.

I’ve known since I was a child that I’m handsome. Everyone paid attention to me and Kim Joo-young when we went on a family outing. Everyone thought I was a child actor. My parents used to carry me around while saying, ‘My son is so handsome.’ Kim Joo-young was also a trophy child to our Beta parents. The overly beautiful siblings were the only source of pride for the uncharacteristic Beta family.

Of course, I think Kim Joo-young is ugly. She is cute, but Kim Joo-young is a gorilla.

I’m not sure when it was, but I think it was in elementary school. Every day, I went out to play soccer and climbed the mountain behind me to catch grasshoppers and play. My parents couldn’t show off my good looks because I was playing outside so much at the time. My mother referred to it as ‘Kim Joo-hyuk’s wild raccoon period’.

I became aware of my good looks when I was in middle school. Every day, I received several fan letters. My locker was stuffed with letters when I arrived at school in the morning. There were even boys who bet on my letters. Usually about how many letters I got that day and whether I’d get any gifts this time. I was able to take a portion of the bet and go to the PC room.

One day, when I picked up Kim Joo-young from kindergarten one day, I asked her, ‘Oppa is handsome, right?’ But Kim Joo-young cried a lot. Kim Joo-young was six years old at the time. When I asked why she was crying, she said it was because I was ugly. It felt like a slap in the face. She cried the entire way home. Everyone on the street was staring at us. Kim Joo-young sobbed until her face turned bright red. She kept saying her older brother was ugly. Because I was embarrassed, I consoled her by giving her ice cream. Even when we got home, she was whining, so I told her that because she looked like me, she was also ugly, and my father hit me.

Kim Joo-young used to beat me up a lot in high school. Kim Joo-young was in elementary school at the time, and when she got home, she threw a magic wand or something at me. The reason for this was that her friends insisted on seeing her older brother. The plastic magic wand is pretty painful. Her friends kept talking about her older brother while they were playing, and she said that she was annoyed. I said it was not my fault, but Kim Joo-young did not believe me.

Kim Joo-young, who grumbled at me almost every day, changed her ways later.

I still remember. It was my second year of high school. I was sleeping, but I was startled awake by the noise around me. Elementary school students surrounded the bed, and a magic wand was pointed at my neck like a knife.

“This is my brother, he looks like this.”

“Wow! Joo-young is so lucky!”

“Is your brother an Alpha?”

“What is an Alpha?”

“Oh, he opened his eyes. Can he speak?”

As I woke up like a zombie, the group of children scattered. I glared at Kim Joo-young. I was quite angry.

“Hey, Kim Joo-young.”

“Hurry up, oppa, lie down again.”

Kim Joo-young was 8 years old. At that time, she wasn’t even tall enough to reach my chest. Same with her friends. The kids were terrified as if they had seen a mummy in a museum move. I lay down again.

“Get the ice cream out of the fridge and eat it.”

“I ate it all.”

“Well done. Now don’t wake me up.”

Kim Joo-young toured my room for almost 30 minutes. This is Kim Joo-hyuk’s textbook, the clothes he wears these days is that hoodie, and the bag is black. Yesterday, my older brother ate potato chips too. So that’s why he’s so tall. All sorts of stories came out. I couldn’t go back to sleep after all. The tourists only dispersed after playing hide-and-seek in my room.

A long time later, the hard-working guide came back to my room waving her magic wand. Kim Joo-young also gave me a prize saying I was quiet. It was a popular character bread. Kim Joo-young, with bread on my face, climbed onto the bed. She had short legs, so she struggled for a while.

“Oppa, my friends say you’re handsome.”

“Okay.”

“Oppa, oppa.”

“What?”

“Can I bring my friends tomorrow too?”

“Oppa is going to sleep.”

When you grow up, you’ll be good at selling jade floorboards. Kim Joo-young was snuggled in a blanket. Kim Joo-young then hugged me. Kim Joo-young was quite diminutive. I hugged Kim Joo-young and even sang a lullaby.

That was the last time Kim Joo-young was cute. Now she’s become a gorilla cub…