FMY 44

“You…! You! Just you wait! Do you think I’ll give up like this?!”

With those final words, Gabriel shoved away all the tableware in front of him without a second thought and left the place in a commotion. He stirred up a colder wind than the Duke had. Watching that tumultuous figure disappear, Serge let out a deep sigh.

‘If words like these could change him, he would have changed long ago….’

He just wished Gabriel would stay quiet and not cause any more trouble…. But perhaps that was an unreasonable wish.

Now, only two recluses with somber expressions were left in their seats. Of course, one of them had turned his life around after living it twice and now held only the honorary title of (former) shut-in.

Serge met Leana’s blank gaze, her expression matching his own. They looked at each other, their faces a mixture of emotions like bewilderment, disgust, and incomprehension at the situation.

“……I’ll apologize on his behalf, Serge.”

Leana’s rarely-opened mouth parted as she calmly offered her apology.

“…Please, just blame me for having such a rude brother.”

It was an apology that hinted at her resignation toward her brother, and an anxiety that the goodwill of the family head and his eldest son, who supported them, might be withdrawn. This side of Leana was another complete contrast to Gabriel.

She had always been like that. She was deeply sorry for being the Duke’s ward. As if she were a person forced to sit in a place that wasn’t hers, she was always restless and couldn’t properly enjoy what was given to her. She didn’t engage in proper social activities, as if preparing for the possibility of being sent to the countryside where her only remaining blood relative, her commoner maternal uncle, lived, and she tried to act the same as she did before receiving the ducal family’s support. This was true even though she had been thoroughly educated as a noble lady.

And those thoughts of hers were always revealed in her demeanor.

Serge silently gazed at Leana, who was now slumped over in her chair as if she had never learned the attitude or etiquette of a high noble, anxiously biting her thumbnail. Because their introverted personalities and dislike for socializing were similar, they had always been on relatively good terms, but her listless, pessimistic, and negative attitude toward everything had always been a mystery to him.

Leana let out a deep sigh with an expression of someone who had seen all there was to see in the world.

“They say another’s harvest always looks better than one’s own[4]…. He should know his place… but his greed is so excessive, it’s a big problem.”

Leana rubbed the palm of her hand against the very simple, unadorned dress she was wearing for no reason and just let out a few hollow laughs.

“The Duke is probably thinking by now that he made a mistake bringing us siblings here.”

The anxiety on her face would not fade. Serge, who had been concentrating on Leana’s words, quietly shook his head.

“No, Leana.”

At the firm denial, her face turned toward Serge.

“Separate from the fact that Gabriel and I have a bad relationship, neither my father nor I have ever regretted that we became like family with you two.”

“Are you sure we were in the same room just a moment ago?”

Serge chuckled at Leana’s expression, which seemed to ask if he was truly the same person who had just witnessed her brother’s rampage.

“Yes. Of course, Gabriel has been subtly tormenting me behind my back from the moment he came to this mansion.”

Separate from Gabriel’s torment, he had his own fundamental problems. He was the epitome of timidity and naivety, and his personality, which constantly compared himself to others and shrank away, had made him easy prey for Gabriel. After living with Raphael and hearing about his growth process, he was able to reach that realization even more clearly.

“Still, I was happy to be with you two. And every time Gabriel was cruel to me, you were my friend, Leana.”

“A friend….”

Serge pretended not to notice the corners of Leana’s eyes growing moist. It was something he could do because they both knew each other’s personalities precisely, knowing they struggled with excessive emotional confrontations.

“So don’t think like that. My father won’t regret it either.”

“Okay….”

“It just would have been nice if Gabriel had been a little less greedy and was someone who sought ordinary happiness.”

If that had been the case, no problems would have arisen in his past life or in this one.

Duke Arthur was a man who would have supported his children and wards to the very end so they could find their own fitting happiness. The things he saw after forming a more intimate relationship with his father added to Serge’s conviction.

“Is that what you’ve been thinking all this time?”

“What?”

“I’m talking about you being overly unmotivated about everything, Leana.”

At the sudden core of the matter, the warm atmosphere froze again.

“I know that you always just kill time in your room without any motivation.”

“……Those words hurt a bit, Serge….”

“I’m not saying it’s bad to spend time in your room without meeting people. It’s just that I feel it’s a waste of all that time that just dies without you doing anything.”

“……”

“My father will not spare any support for you, no matter what you do. So please, try something with a little motivation. A hobby is fine too. Just don’t always kill time with the face of someone who has seen all there is to see in the world.”

What could I possibly do, nothing will come of it anyway, the world won’t change. Remembering the words that the overly unmotivated, nihilist-like Leana would say like a habit, Serge urged her.

An answer never came from her lips.

One was like a cuckoo chick, so excessively greedy that he coveted what belonged to others and tried to take it even if it meant ruining those around him, while the other was like a pessimist who thought everything in the world was utterly meaningless…. They were truly a pair of contrasting siblings. Perhaps the only thing they had in common was that neither of them seemed to think of doing their best with what they had in their given reality.

‘If she still doesn’t get it even after I tell her this, then there’s nothing to be done….’

No matter how much someone else talks from the side, humans don’t change easily unless they face things head-on, get broken, and shattered. Just like him, who had lived such a life, died in vain, and was now living life again.

Leaving her be, Serge rose from his seat.

Leaving Leana behind at the beautiful baroque dining table, Serge walked forward, and forward. And he escaped from that space of chaos.

⚭

<He will probably never be able to walk again.>

At the physician’s declaration, Duke Arthur, who had been lying listlessly in bed, just nodded his head silently.

At that devastating proclamation, Serge, who had been eavesdropping from outside the door, was the one who was more shocked. Without realizing it, he slid down with his back against the door and collapsed onto the floor. How could this have happened…. Serge buried his head between his knees to hide the tears streaming down and the sobs bursting out, and wept silently, his shoulders shaking.

He had always been scared of his father, and he had wanted to meet his expectations.

His father was always a person who made him tense. Furthermore, it was true that he was an oppressive parent who tried to forcibly drag his son into a position he did not want. But he had never, ever wished for this to happen.

The Duke, who had injured his spine in an accident that occurred at the royal hunting grounds during a hunting competition held to celebrate Serge’s engagement to the Crown Prince, could never stand on his own two feet again. He, who had been a man with a steadfast body, like a picture-perfect dominant alpha, a noble of high honor who stood firmly and straight upon the ground, a man more dignified than anyone else.

Perhaps he had already sensed it from the moment the accident happened. His father, lying in bed with a silent expression, was simply sinking deep, deep, deeply, his face as lifeless as a corpse, as if that square, soft space were his coffin.

A riding accident. That was what the head butler and the physician had called it, phrasing it delicately, but Serge knew the raw name hidden beneath the surface. Calling it a riding accident was for the sake of protecting the heart of the young master, the eldest son of the family. In truth, the reality that emerged when that careful wrapping was removed was a ‘firearm accident.’

Why, and how, a spare shotgun that wasn’t even loaded with a bullet had suddenly fired. He had no idea. How something that had just been hanging quietly next to his horse could have caused such a terrible thing.

<Hmm…. Is this the shotgun you’re taking with you, Serge?>

<Y…yeah…. Th-that’s the one….>

<This is so annoying…. Stop stuttering and answer me. Did I do something to you? I’m just asking, are you trying to make me look like the bad guy every time?>

That was what Gabriel had said when he came to Serge’s room the day before the hunting competition.

<I’m… I’m sorry.>

<I really don’t know why His Grace made a pathetic kid like you the Crown Princess. Ah, of course, you’re not the Crown Princess yet. I’ll be sure to call you by that title only after the wedding ceremony is properly held. Though I don’t know if there will ever be an occasion to call you that.>

<Okay….>

It was a prospective Crown Princess position he hadn’t even wanted. An uncomfortable position he had been forced into because his father had pushed for it.

<Have you heard the news? Ah… then again, you don’t have any friends to tell you things like this.>

As always, treating Serge like an eccentric recluse, Gabriel snorted.

<Wh…what is it?>

<They say His Majesty the King will bestow a great prize upon the winner of this hunting competition. You know? Like in those old fairy tale books with the knights in shining armor. I guess he said he would grant a wish to the winner of this competition, like a knight who wins a joust. Isn’t that fun?>

At those words, Serge’s ears perked up.

A wish? A wish, he said? If it was his wish, there was only one. To refuse this position of Crown Princess, which he was forced into like wearing ill-fitting, excessive clothes, and to live quietly with his younger siblings. That was it.

<What do you think? Aren’t you tempted?>

<…….>

Seeing Serge’s slightly excited expression, Gabriel said enthusiastically. He looked somehow pleased.

<As soon as I heard that, I thought of you. For what it’s worth, I’m the only one who thinks of you as family, Serge. You need to understand that properly. Who else but me would be friends with an omega who has no social skills and can’t even hold a conversation like you? Oops, I don’t know if anyone would even consider you an omega after seeing your appearance…. But still, I’m the only one who thinks of you even a little.>

<…Thank you, always, Gabriel….>

<I’ll tell the head butler to prepare a spare gun. Wouldn’t it be great if you won since you’re going anyway?>

<W-well…. It’s not like someone with no skill like me would win….>

<You never know. Hunting is all about luck, isn’t it? If you encounter good prey, you might just be the one to win, right?>

Gabriel patted Serge’s slumped shoulders.

<Don’t lose your motivation, and go to bed early today and get a good night’s sleep. I’ll get your horse and gun and things ready for you.>

<…Thank you, Gabriel. You’re so kind….>

<It’s nothing. But if you’re going to smile so gloomily, it’s better not to smile at all. Your expression gives me the creeps.>

Gabriel had a look of disgust, as if he had seen something grotesque. His knack for rendering Serge speechless was as sharp as ever.

And so, the next day, the day of the hunting competition. Not long after setting off on horseback, the terrible incident occurred. Serge’s horse, which had always been gentle, suddenly became agitated and bucked for no reason, and the spare shotgun, which he thought had no bullets in it, fired on its own and harmed the people around.

No one listened to him as he stuttered and explained that he knew nothing about it.

The main character who had miserably and chaotically ruined a hunting competition personally hosted by the King. In a high society where he had no allies, it was only natural that Serge would end up in such a position.

Fool, patricide, so clumsy and stupid he doesn’t even know the state of his own gun, a moron who can’t even handle his own horse, a disgrace to the nobility. The sound of incessant whispers echoed through the cold hall where Serge was kneeling.

<Really… hiccup. I…it really wasn’t me….>

His words of self-defense, his face a mess of tears and snot, came out as ridiculous, choked sobs.

<Even if it was a mistake, failing to properly manage one’s own belongings is also a great crime! Do you know how many people were injured because of this incident?!>

At the angry voice of the King, the omega with the large, stooped back flinched in surprise. His shaggy hair covering his face was soaked with sweat and tears, making his appearance even more shabby and pathetic. Although he was wrapped in luxurious clothes befitting a son of the Arthur family, his clumsy original appearance made the shell of his garments completely unnoticeable.

At that moment, Gabriel, who had been in the Crown Prince’s arms, ran out and began to lament with the face of an angel filled with sorrow.

<Your Majesty, the benevolent sun of Blanche…! I beg you for your leniency.>

The eyes of all the high nobles gathered in the hall were focused on him.

<If being foolish and naive is a crime, then all the simpletons in the world would be sinners…!>