FRWD Ch 7.2

It is a good thing… why.

“I have been a bit neglectful in showing my fan appreciation for Haseong these days. Since I haven’t been able to see you play the bass at all.”

“The bass is.”

Haseong had been unconsciously putting his thumbnail in his mouth and habitually chewing on it. Naturally, Yehan took hold of Haseong’s left hand, pulled it down, and clasped it tightly as he asked with a smile. It was only after his hand was pulled away that Haseong remembered he had been biting his nails like a child and sheepishly lowered his gaze.

“You can hear me play anytime you come to the bar.”

He had been told to come back to work the day after the stitches were removed, so it was about time to slowly return to his daily life. It also meant that the day he would leave Yehan’s house and return to his own rooftop room was not far off.

As if he had grown fond of that spacious house in the meantime, he felt a sense of disappointment on one hand, while on the other, a timid relief that he was finally returning to a place that suited his station reared its head.

“Really? Then I should go on the very day Haseong starts working again.”

“But didn’t you say you’re starting a new project soon. You’ll be busy, so your time….”

“Just because my role is confirmed doesn’t mean filming starts right away. A month from now at the earliest? And that also depends on how the other casting turns out.”

Haseong had also seen the news articles on his way to the hospital today. A writer, famous as a master of romance dramas, had written the script with Yehan in mind for the male lead from the very beginning, yet he had repeatedly declined until he finally accepted the role after persistent persuasion from the director and the writer.

It was Go Yehan’s first project news in several months since his last movie release, so it was causing quite a stir again. Fans’ comments were attached to every article, expressing their joy that he was returning to the small screen instead of the big screen, and earlier than expected. Everyone was reacting with such excitement, as if they were coughing up blood, asking how long it had been since his last romance.

“You should get your fill of looking at me now. Once filming starts, you really won’t see me often.”

Yehan suddenly leaned his face in and smiled prettily. Looking at that pretty smile, a laugh escaped him as if he were the most relieved person in the world. Even though not a single one of the various thoughts that came to mind had been resolved.

“It’s okay. I’ll just adjust to your schedule then, hyung.”

“……”

“Ah, of course, that is, when you need me, hyung…! I mean, if you need that pheromone management… or something that you asked for.”

It was meant to say that he would make an effort to see Yehan consistently even when he got busy. That is why it was only after he saw the warmth disappear from his expression that he realized saying something like he would adjust to his schedule could be taken as him being presumptuous.

Haseong added ramblingly. Nevertheless, Yehan’s stern expression showed no sign of softening.

“It would have been better if you hadn’t added that last part. That sounds like you’re saying you’ll be available for me whenever I call.”

Does it sound like that? Well, the nuance of ‘when you need me’ is a bit strange. But… regardless of the nuance, wasn’t that the intention with which he himself had proposed the request in the first place? Haseong asked back in a small voice.

“Wasn’t it… that kind of request.”

“It was. It’s true I made that kind of request, it’s true, but….”

Yehan slowly caressed his chin, drawing out the end of his sentence.

“Whenever Haseong says it’s okay, I feel, how should I put it, really…”

“……”

“Bad? Disheartened? Annoyed?”

With each word listed, Haseong’s heart sank, thump, thump.

“Ah, yes. This expression would be perfect. It gets on my nerves.”

As if his frustration had eased a bit upon finding the perfect expression, he murmured in a lighthearted voice. Haseong, like someone who had committed a crime, moved his parched lips and waited for the next words.

“And it’s the same right now. This time Haseong didn’t even say it was okay, and it must have been something you said for my sake after much thought….”

I should be proud of him, so why do I feel this way. Yehan muttered so and tapped his own chin rhythmically. Silently observing him, Haseong realized that the rhythm of his moving fingers was frighteningly constant. Just like someone trying to suppress their anger.

Should I apologize? Sorry for the slip of the tongue, or sorry for getting on your nerves…. But looking back, he really did not know what he had done wrong.

Wasn’t it Yehan who had advised him not to go around apologizing for just anything? Apologizing blindly without even knowing what he did wrong would probably just make the atmosphere more awkward, so Haseong quietly watched for cues.

Yehan seemed about to say something more, but then he just let out a chuckle.

“The point is this. Say just the first part again.”

“That it’s okay because I can just adjust my schedule to yours, hyung….”

“You mean you’ll miss me so much that you’d go out of your way to adjust your schedule to mine, right?”

“…Yes.”

Yehan gently pressed the area under the nail of his captured left hand. It felt as if he were being pricked by a needle, sending a shiver down his spine, while at the same time, the thought that his true feelings, which he had expressed so vaguely, had been read so clearly made his fingertips tingle. After he honestly affirmed under the silent pressure, their lips met in a soft touch.

Even though they had kissed to their hearts’ content for days, he had no idea why it felt like it had been so long. The kiss in the wide-open underground parking lot of the hospital continued for quite a while.

Haseong kept glancing at the heavily tinted car windows. He was nervous even though he knew it was impossible for anyone to see inside. He felt as if someone would knock on the window at any moment, asking if it was perhaps actor Go Yehan’s car.

After the thrilling kiss ended, Yehan toyed with his finger on the lips where the scabs had now fallen off, leaving only bumpy traces. The lips, glistening with each other’s saliva, were pressed down firmly, turning pale white, and then when the finger was removed, they would flush an even deeper red than before.

Haseong quietly offered his lips, then let out a small moan at the pain of his lips being pressed quite hard. At that, instead of the toying finger pulling away, a sinister voice descended.

“Yes, you just have to say it like that. Adding useless words is worse than not saying anything at all.”

“Since your skin is so fair, I think any color would suit you well.”

“I’d prefer a style a bit more neat than that. Oh, and for the color, something bright, not dark monochromes.”

Haseong sat on the sofa, diligently looking around only at the luxurious interior decorations. It was the same as at the hospital. A situation where the salesperson and Yehan were leading the entire conversation without even asking for the opinion of the person concerned, him.

But the store only had clothes in a style so different from what he usually wore, and sitting on the sofa of a luxury brand store in a department store he had never been to, he did not have the confidence to offer any opinion.

The prices written on the tags he peeked at were all equivalent to his monthly rent. Some even had an extra zero after the monthly rent amount.

“Hyung, I really have a lot of clothes, so I’m fine.”

This was all he could manage to say. He had been forcibly dragged to the department store, with Yehan insisting on buying him clothes to wear when meeting Kim Jinho, as a way to commemorate his safe recovery and the removal of his stitches.

An unfamiliar place, unfamiliar prices, and even an unfamiliar salesperson armed with a kind smile. Haseong, who was naturally very shy, couldn’t help but feel awkward.

The salesperson brought out a light beige top as Yehan had requested. As he looked awkwardly at the smiling salesperson holding up the neatly hung piece of clothing, the salesperson flapped the sleeves as if to urge him to try it on quickly.

Haseong scrunched up his eyes and smiled awkwardly. It wasn’t his usual style, so he was even more reluctant. Yehan, who had been quietly waiting for Haseong as he just hesitated on the sofa, gestured towards the hanger with his chin.

“What are you doing? Not trying it on. You don’t have any clothes in this style among the ones you own.”

“That’s true, but… it won’t look good on me even if I try it on.”

“How do you know if you haven’t tried it on?”

“My impression is a bit….”

“It’s true that one’s appearance plays a part in a person’s vibe, but actually, how you present yourself is more important.”

He took the hanger the salesperson was holding and slowly approached.

“I’m not saying that Haseong can’t dress well, but….”

Standing right next to him, Yehan held the clothing, still on its hanger, against Haseong’s upper body and continued speaking.

“Wouldn’t you feel more confident if you dressed a bit more neatly? At the very least, you wouldn’t have to be preemptively scared that someone might misunderstand you as a bad person.”

“That is….”

“Haseong, you’re handsome, so you’ll look good in anything. Trust me.”

“That’s right, sir. You’re tall too, so you’re really handsome…. You’ll look like a model. Please, just try it on first.”

The salesperson behind them chimed in at the right moment, seconding Yehan’s words.

The salesperson at the clothing store Haseong usually went to was too busy with other things, wearing headphones, whether customers came or not, and would just pick up the card with two fingers and gesture with his chin when it was time to pay. Stunned by the completely opposite customer service, he was pushed into the fitting room by the two of them.

He had no choice but to take off the clothes he was wearing and put on the set of clothes Yehan had picked out. When he came out, even wearing a thin summer blazer, a pair of clean sneakers was ready right in front of the fitting room. They were pristine white sneakers that looked like they would never get dirty no matter how recklessly he wore them.

When he carefully squeezed his feet in, the size fit perfectly, as if they were custom-made shoes. The laces must have been arranged and tied in advance because he did not need to touch them again. Just by tapping the toe of the shoe on the floor, the new shoes wrapped perfectly around his feet.

He was bending and flexing his instep and rotating his ankle to break in the stiff leather unique to new shoes. Yehan, who had been watching him silently, muttered under his breath.

“Maybe I shouldn’t buy the shoes….”

“They don’t look good, right, as expected.”

Haseong, who couldn’t see a full-length mirror, thought, “I knew it,” and quickly asked back. Honestly, he thought the clothes were a bigger problem than the sneakers, but it seemed this looked more awkward in Yehan’s eyes. At that, Yehan smiled affectionately and gestured towards his feet with his chin.

“It’s not about whether the sneakers look good or not. It’s because of the superstition.”

“A superstition?”

“You know, they say if you buy someone shoes, they’ll run away. Haven’t you heard that?”

It was the first time he had ever heard that. Towards the blankly staring Haseong who did not answer, Yehan bent his knees and leaned his upper body down. Then he whispered softly while caressing the ball and heel of his foot over the new shoes.

“My father used to say that. He would buy my mother all sorts of things, but he’d never buy her shoes, not for the life of him.”

Even while doing so, he was spreading his fingers to measure the width of the foot and tilting the back of the shoe to check if there was any space left at the heel. Haseong grew tense at his voice, which echoed off the cold floor. There was no need for Yehan to do something like this. The salesperson also looked flustered that Yehan was doing his job for him.

Haseong waited for him to finish speaking and then pulled his foot away at an appropriate moment. Yehan did not seem to have any intention of checking the other foot either and quickly straightened up.

“…Your parents must have had a very good relationship.”

Even though he knew full well that talking about parents was a sensitive topic for both of them, his brain, frozen with nervousness, spouted another stupid thing. Looking at the mumbling Haseong, Yehan shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, I don’t know. But there’s no way Haseong would run away.”

“That’s true.”

Run away. That was something that would not happen unless he committed a crime. With a heart as small as a bean, he could not even secretly litter a cigarette butt on the street, let alone commit a crime, so he thought a post-crime escape would be something he would only see in movies, and readily agreed.

Yehan, who seemed pleased with Haseong’s quick agreement, laughed heartily and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Then that’s settled. Now, come over here and look in the mirror.”

The unremoved tag touched his back, feeling scratchy. Haseong slightly twisted his itchy body and stood in front of the mirror as he was guided.

“See. It’s much better, isn’t it? Your posture looks straighter too.”

Does it look like that? To my eyes, it just looks awkward. Reaching for the scratchy spot on his back to pull out the tag, Haseong furrowed his brow.

“Is that so.”

“It is. At least in my eyes. The fact that you’re handsome doesn’t stand out as much since you were handsome to begin with, but….”

Saying so, Yehan grabbed Haseong’s chin and fixed it straight so he would face the front. Thanks to that, Haseong, standing as straight as a model in a spine surgery advertisement, stared at the mirror.

As he stared intently at his reflection in the mirror, he started to feel like he was getting used to it. Maybe it did not look as bad as he had expected….

The corners of Yehan’s mouth, who was also admiring Haseong in the mirror, drew an arc.

“It looks good on you. I’m not just saying it, I’m being sincere. I’ll buy you several outfits, so I hope you’ll dress like this from now on.”

“I don’t have space in my closet… this is more than enough.”

The small closet that came as a built-in option in the room when he moved in was already on the verge of bursting. Since it was a small place with no other storage space, he had shoved all his clothes in there regardless of the season.

Thanks to the space freed up by the clothes Woochan had stolen and worn, he could probably cram these new clothes in, but any more than that would be difficult. He did not want to receive more because it was burdensome. For Haseong, it was a rare refusal expressed with genuine and firm feelings.

But Yehan offered a solution with a cool expression, as if wondering why he was worrying about such a thing.

“Then throw away the clothes you have.”

No…. Haseong just gaped. At the grand response that treated the clothes in his house as rags stuffed in a trash bag, waiting for the day they would be thrown into a clothing donation bin, he was so flabbergasted that he was at a loss for words.

In the meantime, Yehan called the salesperson and left his spot, asking if he could see more clothes in a similar style to the one he was wearing now. In the end, Haseong could only leave the department store after being saddled with two large bundles of shopping bags. Including the shopping bags in Yehan’s hands, there were six in total.

He had bought and foisted the clothes on him in a very intelligent way. After Haseong had shown he was not at all pleased because he felt burdened after trying on the first outfit, Yehan had paid for all the clothes that were the same size and that he himself thought looked good, and just thrust them into his arms. Haseong had surrendered to his generosity when he saw him tear up and throw away the receipt as soon as he got it.

Alright, let’s just say I’ve gotten my autumn clothes sorted out…. And I’ll take this opportunity to organize and throw away the old clothes. Haseong tried to think positively, glancing at the shopping bags rolling around in the back seat of Yehan’s car. But the thought of carrying all of that up the hill made his head throb again.

“You can keep staying at my place.”

As soon as the car, having arrived near Haseong’s rooftop room, came to a stop, a plaintive voice stretched out as if trying to be cute. It was a cute act that had been repeated several times on the way here. Haseong unbuckled his seatbelt and steeled his mind.

“I have to go back to work starting tomorrow, and I’ve left the house empty for over a week, so I need to clean it….”

“Are those the only two excuses you have?”

“…I also have to water the perilla leaves, and organize the clothes you bought me, and say hello to the landlady….”

Having left the house for a long time, there was a mountain of things to do. A considerable amount of dust would have settled on the furniture, and his instruments, which he had not touched, would have lost their proper condition. He was especially worried about the old fretless bass. Instruments are like machines; if you just leave them untouched, they gradually deteriorate.

And more than anything, he did not want to stay at Yehan’s house any longer. That house was too nice, too spacious, and too comfortable, and the longer he stayed, the more he would want to settle in. Getting used to a house he could never afford in his lifetime would only make him miserable in the long run by needlessly raising his standards.

The refreshing morning jogs in the park, the sunsets that painted the glass windows like a picture every evening, which he would gaze at, lost in thought, and the ironclad security that meant he did not have to worry in the slightest about when Woochan might show up again. The experience of the past week or so was enough.

Yehan, who had been listening to the lengthy excuses for why he had to return to his own home, suddenly widened his eyes.

“Perilla leaves? What are perilla leaves.”

“I’m growing them.”

“Perilla leaves? Why? Is gardening your hobby?”

“…No? To eat them.”

They’re not flowers, they’re perilla leaves, of course I’m growing them to eat. Haseong, who had answered confidently, added in a small voice.

“…Leafy greens for wraps are surprisingly expensive.”

“Ah, that’s true. …Hoo.”

Yehan, who seemed to be taking it calmly, pronounced the words ‘leafy greens for wraps…,’ then finally covered his eyes and his body shook.

Haseong regretted it with a sullen face. I shouldn’t have given the reason that leafy greens are expensive. He had added it because he was worried Yehan wouldn’t understand if he just explained that he was growing them to eat, but hearing that and bursting out laughing made him feel thoroughly teased.

“Then take good care of the perilla leaves. They must be sad after being neglected for over a week.”

He, who had been laughing for a while as if something was so funny, composed his trembling voice and patted his back.

“Don’t forget you’re having dinner with Jinho on Friday.”

“Yes, thank you. For letting me stay with you all this time, and for the clothes, and for everything else.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking Haseong. I was saved because you readily agreed to help, really.”

Right after those words, Yehan’s cheerful expression transformed. The corners of his mouth, which had been drawing a gentle curve, returned to their original state, and his characteristically droopy, languid eyes were revealed. He made a request with a serious expression.

“If by any chance Woochan comes to find you again, contact me immediately. …Though that’s very unlikely to happen.”

Caught up in the instantly subsided atmosphere, Haseong also nodded his head seriously. Even if he had not asked, he was already planning to move without a second thought if Woochan ever came to find him again.

Just before he said his final goodbye and pressed the car’s unlock button, the nape of his neck was grabbed. Cold fingers with a clear intention rubbed gently against his skin, which had cooled in the air conditioning.

“A kiss before you go.”

Feeling the touch that was not as cute as the cute request, Haseong slowly pressed his lips to his cheek. He pressed his lips there for quite a while before pulling away, but Yehan raised the ends of his eyebrows and shook his head from side to side, as if he had no intention of letting him go with just that.

Not there. His meeting eyes were whispering so. After literally just eating, sleeping, and having sex with him for the past few days, he had reached a point where he could read such a request just by looking at his eyes.

Haseong glanced out the window once and then pressed his lips against his with a small peck. Only then did the hand that was caressing his neck slowly slide down.

“Yes, see how pretty you are when you listen well.”

Slipping his fingers inside the collar of the shirt he had bought him today, he toyed with his collarbone as if giving him a reward. The blatant touch that persisted, even lifting the hem of the shirt, ended with the sound of him unlocking the door.

“You should go now. If you stay any longer, I might just take you back home with me.”

His attitude was as if he were being generous today. Before he could change his mind, Haseong got out of the car in a hurry, as if fleeing.