GMLS Ch 10

It was a dream of being tossed around in a small, enclosed chest. Loaded onto a freight wagon, the chest jolted violently.

My whole body was paralyzed, unable to move an inch. The body that had moved freely just that afternoon had stiffened like wax. It was an unspeakably terrible feeling, as if a vibrant soul was trapped in a corpse.

The damn dream was long, too. Nothing changed; I was still inside that crate-like mother-of-pearl chest.

I spewed all sorts of curses. I squeezed my eyes shut. I imagined becoming a giant, smashing the chest, and leaping out. If only it were a dream where wishes could come true.

My throat was parched, as if I had swallowed a handful of sand. It became harder and harder to breathe. At Yeo Yullyeong’s estate, Heukwol would usually wake me, but this was the 5th Prince’s palace. Among its rooms, the one I stayed in was close to the 5th Prince’s quarters. Which meant it was a remote corner where not even an ant passed by.

No, even if it were in the middle of the court attendants’ dormitories, it would be the same. There was no way a mere court attendant could hear a faint groan from beyond the doorway. And even if, by some miraculous coincidence, they did, there was no court attendant bold enough to enter the Captain of the Guard’s quarters without permission.

In the end, I had no choice but to endure it like this until morning came. Just as I resigned myself and bore the pain, my forehead felt ticklish for some reason. What is it? A bug?

Now I could clearly feel something. It was slightly cool, soft yet firm, and had five legs. I frowned. It was because I couldn’t tell if this bizarre bug was a dream bug or a real one.

But the slowly moving bug climbed up and brushed my hair back.

‘Hmm. This is less like a bug and more like…’

Someone’s hand. A cool, long, and knuckled hand.

“Why are you having a nightmare?”

It was a familiar, jade-like voice. It sounded as if it was coming from beside my head, and also as if it was coming from beyond the lid of the mother-of-pearl chest.

“Are you still in there?”

Yes. I am still here. No matter how much I struggle, it won’t budge. This strong arm of mine, which can cross swords with even the Commander of the Royal Guard, becomes as thin as a brittle branch once inside here, so there is nothing I can do.

The voice, which had sounded distant and muffled as if from underwater, was heard no more. Instead, a soft sigh descended. Anxious, I wiggled my fingertips, and my fingers caught on something. I clutched what I caught like a lifeline. It was a man’s hand.

Why did you come so late? Do you know how long I have waited? You held me in your arms and cherished me like gold, like jade. Is it because I have become a swarthy man? If I wear childish silk clothes like back then and grin for sweets, will you look back at me?

Did he read my resentment? The hand that had been held gently slipped away. I urgently tossed and turned. But my body, still trapped in the chest, did not budge.

No. No. I didn’t mean to blame you. I was wrong. It was all my fault, so—

“—Don’t go.”

“……”

“If you must go, take me with you, my lord.”

As my body shrank, my heart shrank too. The shrunken heart was so fragile it felt like it would break. My throat choked up and my eyes grew hot, and eventually, tears flowed down my cheeks.

I cried without a sound. Holes were punched through my heart in sorrow at the lack of a response. A cold wind blew through the holes. The world’s season was now full spring, but why was my season still winter? Even the snowy fields north of Mount Taebaek would have more warmth than this.

How long had I cried like that? Words like a sigh reached my ears.

“I will not go. I will be here, so do not cry.”

It was a statement the twenty-four-year-old 5th Prince would never make, though perhaps the nineteen-year-old me might have. I was indeed still in a dream.

Vain and sorrowful, the stream of tears grew thicker. Then the hand that had briefly left returned and took mine. Fearing I would lose it, I squeezed it tight, and the mother-of-pearl chest clattered open. Through the gap, a man wearing a hero’s turban swiftly lifted me into his arms. It was an embrace I had not forgotten even in my dreams.

The dawn was fading. In the place where the nightmare had receded, only a longed-for warmth remained.

⊹ ࣪ 💮⊹₊

That day. The reason the 5th Prince walked down a path he usually didn’t was because of the voices of the court attendants giggling behind a pillar, calling someone a ‘monkey.’

It was the Northern Palace, where not even a common dog was raised, let alone a monkey. Puzzled, he approached, and the 5th Prince was left speechless.

A monkey? Those court attendants must have had eyes on their butts.

The man hanging upside down from the magnolia tree was like an incarnation of the magnolia. Anyone would have thought so upon seeing that bright, upside-down face against the blue sky, holding a handful of unopened flower buds.

Because he was upside down, his top had slipped down a little, revealing a sliver of bare skin. The belly of a trained warrior was firm and white. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from that palm-sized patch of skin.

‘I was picking Shin Yihwa.’

The man who said so had a handful of young magnolia buds in his arms.

‘It’s Shin Yihwa. It’s what they call the young buds of the magnolia flower.’

He hadn’t known before hearing the meaning of the name, but after hearing it, the man seemed even more like a magnolia.

The way he approached was similar, too. To the 5th Prince, Yihwa seeped into him just like his name. He hadn’t even known what kind of tree he was leaning his back against, but when he suddenly lifted his head, a fully bloomed flower was looking down at him—a flower so beautiful, in fact, that he couldn’t bear not to reach out his hand.

‘You’ve gone mad, Muryun.’

The 5th Prince covered his mouth with the back of his hand. There was no one to see his expression then, and for the first time, he was grateful for the solitude of the Northern Palace.

Once he realized that he had already been approached, it was impossible to turn away. It wasn’t something that could be controlled by will. As some deceased person once said, the reason people can pretend to be rational is because their heart turns a blind eye.

Once his heart opened its eyes and began to see him, there was nothing the 5th Prince could do.

When he came to his senses, his gaze would be following him at some point. He would observe his form, feel his presence, and listen to his voice. Everything was beyond his will. The best he could do was to feign composure on the outside.

All his nerves were focused on him. And so, he ended up hearing that sorrowful call, a call he normally would not have heard.

At first, he thought he had misheard. This was the Northern Palace, sparsely populated even in broad daylight, and his own quarters were isolated even within such a Northern Palace. But when he listened carefully, it was unmistakably a groan, and the 5th Prince frowned his beautiful brow and opened his eyes.

Has the resentful spirit of one of the deposed concubines who died in the cold palace next door come to visit? He irritably got off the bed, but the voice sounded somehow familiar. The greenhorn who had come with a calm face and said, I am your Captain of the Guard from today.

A black figure crossed the covered walkway. The 5th Prince was unaware of the anxiety that tinged his steps.

When he stood in front of the room across from his own quarters, the groan became clearer. He opened the door without hesitation and went inside. Although he had concealed his presence, the man who was supposedly a Captain of the Guard couldn’t even open his eyes.

What kind of dream is he having to be like this? Seen up close, his state was certainly closer to being pressed by sleep paralysis than a nightmare. He was groaning and suffering, but his body was stiffly frozen, unable to move a single finger.

His heart sank at the sound of the ragged, wheezing breaths.

The 5th Prince placed a hand on the Captain of the Guard’s forehead. It wasn’t a calculated move. The 5th Prince had just experienced the meaning of the phrase, my body moved before I could think.

“…My lord?”

The faint, dying voice dragged the 5th Prince’s heart down. A forgotten time washed over the 5th Prince like a tidal wave. They were short, beautiful, and therefore fleeting days.

He had projected his unsaved sister onto the child. He had dressed the boy in androgynous clothes and lived with him held in his arms like a treasure. From sweets to dried persimmons, sikhye, and colorful candies. He dressed him in, fed him, and placed in his hands everything his sister had liked.

He knew it was a futile act, but he couldn’t stop. It took only a moment to become addicted to the hand that hesitantly clutched his clothes and the thin arms that wrapped around his neck. He swallowed dryly countless times at the slender gestures of the one who clung to him, calling him ‘my lord.’

It went back and forth between his sister and something that was not his sister, completely captivating the 5th Prince’s soul.

Originally, the business at the checkpoint was over the moment the illegally acquired goods from Mujin were confiscated. From then on, he should have received a new imperial order and gone to strike the southern barbarians. But the 5th Prince postponed and postponed. He dawdled until he was pointed out by the Emperor’s lackey who was pretending to be his own man.

It wasn’t just the child who was hungry for the warmth of an embrace. The child didn’t know, but the ten days they spent together were the longest time the 5th Prince had spent without alcohol, and the only days he had been able to sleep deeply without it.

After losing his sister due to his own mistake, the 5th Prince suffered from terrible insomnia. Ordinary decoctions had no effect, so it had become a habit to get drunk on alcohol and pass out as if fainting.

Then, on days when the alcohol he drank was insufficient and he woke up at dawn, he would invariably see the corpse of his sister lying next to him. Her lovely face, burned black, a lump where one couldn’t tell the eyes from the mouth, would call him ‘brother.’

On that day, that image was particularly vivid. In the dawn twilight, the 5th Prince woke with a start.

He swung his sword until the morning sun rose. His swordsmanship was upright, but his mind was a mess. How long will this go on? The sword stopped in mid-air. The 5th Prince looked at his own face reflected on the blade. The wretched man who had survived by burning his sister to death contorted his face.

He gripped the sword in a reverse grip. He had tried to die several times before but had not taken his own life because it was a life his sister had saved, but on that day, his resolve swayed like a reed. It was when he had tightened his grip on the sword.

A subordinate came looking for the 5th Prince. He said nothing, even seeing the sword held in a reverse grip. The 5th Prince tossed a ‘report’ at him. The subordinate impassively recited only what he had to say.

‘We caught them trying to pass through furtively as soon as the gate opened this morning. We also checked all the contents inside. However, there is one thing among them that we could not see inside.’

A gaze smelling of iron turned to the subordinate.

‘It is a crate-like mother-of-pearl chest, with the key broken off in the lock.’