GMLS Ch 5

I moved the side dishes onto the table one by one. I set down the spoon and chopsticks neatly as well. After finishing, I naturally stood in attendance beside him. The 5th Prince let out a ‘Heh-’ sound, as if in disbelief. It was the first time I had heard his voice since coming here. It, too, was no different from my memory.

‘After you finish the rice gruel, you must take your medicine.’

‘If you eat well, I will give you a yakgwa. Or do you prefer yeot?’

‘That’s right. There you go. You’re eating well.’

‘Good boy.’

A string of hazy memories, like petals floating on water, trailed behind. My shameless heart wavered.

“What are you?”

The same voice from my memories cut through coolly. My heart, which had been drifting aimlessly, sank in an instant.

He did not recognize me. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t disappointed, but I comforted myself with the hollow words that it was because I had grown into such a fine man.

“I am Yeo Yihwa, Your Highness.”

Merely stating my name, I nearly choked up and quickly swallowed a dry gulp.

“I asked what you are.”

Even after hearing my name, the 5th Prince did not recognize me.

“…Does my name not ring a bell, Your Highness?”

“Am I supposed to know the name of someone like you?”

“I am the Captain of the Guard for the 5th Prince, Your Highness.”

“I have no guards under my command. The captain of guards I do not even command. Then again, for a man guarding a scarecrow like me, a hollow title is indeed fitting.”

“How can you say such a thing? It is fine to belittle and reprimand me, but please do not belittle yourself. Those are utterly unjust words. Your Highness is a person of supreme and sublime authority.”

My fists, held down at my sides, clenched tightly. I felt as if I had been thrown into a wrongful situation, not knowing where or what had gone wrong.

This can’t be happening, I thought, yet the mind that had been raised under Yeo Yullyeong for five years sneered at the innocent me of five years ago, thinking, Of course, this is how it would be.

“Supreme and sublime?”

The 5th Prince laughed. He roared with laughter as if something was incredibly funny. His fine strands of hair danced along with him. After laughing for a long while, he began to cough. It was a deep, festering cough, the kind one could recognize as serious even without any medical knowledge.

“Are you alright?”

I poured water into a cup and offered it to him. The 5th Prince did not take it and instead swatted the cup away.

The cup hit the wall and shattered with a sharp noise. The sound struck me in the chest. A wound formed in the heart that had not grown at all while my body did.

“Get out.”

“……”

Unable to take a step, I lowered my head. Staring at the floor by my feet, I recalled the moment the mother-of-pearl chest was opened. I remembered the moment he had held me up from under the pouring light.

As I heard the voice that had said, It’s okay, everything is okay now, the me of five years later also became okay. ‘I,’ I began, lifting my head.

“I originally lived in a small town in the Western Mak Province. As a commoner, I had no surname, just the name ‘Yihwa,’ and my childhood name was ‘Little Magnolia.’ My mother gave me both. She was from a fallen noble family with the surname Shin, but being an illegitimate daughter, she was married off to a tanner. She passed away while giving birth to my youngest sibling.”

The 5th Prince said nothing. His glare seemed to say, Go on, keep babbling.

“The tanner sold me to a merchant five years ago, during the last year of the famine. The merchant put me in a crate-like, mother-of-pearl chest, locked it from the outside, and then broke the key. Inside it, I was slowly dying.”

When I had spoken that far, for the first time, there was a change in the 5th Prince’s expression. I did not miss the flash of light that flickered for a moment in his indifferent eyes before vanishing.

“When the soldiers came near and then just left, I felt death lay its hand on my head. My short, sorrowful life was ending just like this. Just as I had given up on everything, someone brushed death’s hand aside and saved me. He was a man of noble bearing, like a god from heaven.”

My story ended there. The 5th Prince would know the rest well.

A heavy silence fell. The breakfast I had painstakingly brought out grew completely cold, yet the 5th Prince did not open his mouth. At some point, I found I couldn’t lift the head I had lowered. While I stared intently at the wooden floor, all my senses were focused on the 5th Prince.

“You’ve become an adult.”

I swiftly raised my head and looked at him. His voice was sorrowful. And so, the hope that had been trampled and crushed raised its head along with mine.

Do you recognize me now? Yes, it’s me. I am that child you used to carry in your arms. All the sorrowful words that were about to burst forth were blocked by his cold expression.

“Since you struggled to become an adult, forget what happened back then and go your own way now.”

That was the end. After seeming to think for a moment, what ultimately came out was a cold order to leave. It was a vain and empty conclusion.

⊹ ࣪ 💮⊹₊

I don’t remember well how I left the room.

For the next few days, I remained in a daze. The breakfast tray was once again delivered by the hands of a court attendant. I stood guard in front of his quarters like a wife-turned-stone statue. When my shift ended, I would seek a short sleep in the room assigned to me in the 5th Prince’s palace.

I came to my senses three days later. Deciding this couldn’t go on, I resolved to resume my morning training. The training location was in front of the 5th Prince’s quarters, in a corner of the garden visible from his window. It was a spot where the gaze of the 5th Prince, who had been drinking, would surely have landed.

Although March was now ending, I swept away the still-unmelted snow with the tip of my foot, as the area was particularly shaded and cold. Under the dim, indigo sky, I drew up my energy. The fact that no one was around was, at least, to my liking.

At Yeo Yullyeong’s estate, there were always people at the training grounds, no matter the time. Most of them were members of his private unit, the ‘Ammokdan.’ Although they weren’t wearing the masks they used for activities, I could recognize them immediately.

The one I ran into most often was Heukwol. He, like me, had a profound interest in the martial arts. Naturally, we got along well. After the gap in our skills had narrowed, we sparred almost every morning.

I closed my eyes and pictured Heukwol. His sword was truly like the moon hung in a pitch-black night. If I blinked for an instant in the silent darkness, the white glint of his blade would be right before my eyes.

I opened my closed eyes. Before me was the afterimage of Heukwol I had created.

I sparred with the virtual Heukwol. As I clashed swords with him, the dawn receded and the morning broke. The morning sun did not shine well in the gloomy northern palace.

“I was wondering who dared to cause a ruckfus in front of my window since dawn, and it turns out it was you.”

At the voice that flew out of nowhere, I turned my head. The tightly shut window was now open. My eyes met with the 5th Prince, who was sitting perched on the windowsill.

My heart dropped with a thud. He looked exactly as I had pictured him from his presence. I was flustered. I didn’t know how long he had been watching. The thought that he might have seen my entire morning training made my face burn.

“My apologies. Did I perhaps disturb Your Highness’s sleep?”

“It’s fine. I’m a light sleeper anyway. More importantly, who were you sparring with?”

As expected of the one renowned as the greatest warrior in the Geum Empire. He had seen through with perfect accuracy that I had just engaged in a sparring match with a virtual opponent.

“He is named Heukwol, one of my swordsmanship masters.”

“One of your masters, you say. Truly the son of the Sangseoryeong.”

Coming from the son of His Majesty, the noble Emperor, it could only be heard as sarcasm. And that was likely his intent.

I humbly lowered my sword.

“As you already know, I am his adopted son. The life you saved five years ago, he was the one who took me in. I am indebted to the Sangseoryeong in a way I can never repay, just as I am to you, Your Highness.”

“…That damn old geezer. I told him to find a good home, and he just snatched you up for himself.”

For a moment, I thought I had misheard. When I asked back, ‘Pardon?’, he retorted with more sarcasm, not answering my question.

“I see now you’re a dog with two masters. I was the one who saved your life, but the Sangseoryeong was the one who took you in. So, whose grace is greater?”

It was a very strange feeling. He was like a birth mother pressing her adopted child, asking whether the affection of birth was greater, or the affection of being raised. …No. It must be a misunderstanding. Where in that stern voice could such a petty emotion exist?

“Why is there no answer? Did I not ask you a question?”

“I do not understand what Your Highness is asking.”

“It’s not difficult. It is a simple question. You just need to answer which grace you felt more deeply.”

After thinking for a moment, I spoke.

“The grace I received from Your Highness cannot be measured simply as the grace of saving my life. Furthermore, the unpayable grace I received from the Sangseoryeong refers to the grace of his taking me in, thus allowing me to meet Your Highness like this.”

In the end, all the grace I have received leads back to you, is what I answered.

“……”

The 5th Prince’s mouth closed. The now fully risen sun faintly illuminated him. Revealed under the thin rays of light, he was utterly expressionless. Or perhaps, his expression was so complex that his inner thoughts were impossible to read.

Thud! He stepped down into the room and shut the window. The firmly closed window did not open again.

⊹ ࣪ 💮⊹₊

It was a ripe day in the third month of spring.

Flower buds sprouted throughout the entire Imperial Palace. Even in the 5th Prince’s palace, where spring was uniquely slow despite being within the same Imperial Palace, cherry blossoms were beginning to bloom, yet a cold wind still blew between the 5th Prince and me.

I served the 5th Prince to the best of my ability. On the rare days he left his quarters, I suppressed my fluttering heart and followed behind him, feigning as much indifference as possible.

The 5th Prince acted as if I didn’t exist. It would be a lie to say there was no sorrow. With every step I took, my heart ached.

But I did not show it on the outside. Of course, there was much I wanted to say. Why do you cast me out? Why did you leave without a word five years ago? Why won’t you look at me? I suppressed all these questions within myself.

What was in the 5th Prince’s heart was incomparable to what a person like me was suffering from. There was a wound there that I could not dare to fathom.

It had already been five years. I had grown accustomed to waiting, and I had plenty of time. Spring had come, after all, even to this Northern Palace where snow still remained in the shaded corners. My duty now was to quietly hold my place.

The 5th Prince, who had been walking steadily, suddenly stopped. I snapped back to my senses. Was I caught following him absentmindedly? Tense, I scanned my surroundings.