GMLS Ch 64

“And from here to the bathhouse. Make sure there isn’t a single ant. Not only the palace servants, but also the Imperial Guards and the Miryeonggun are all included.”

“Your Majesty, I beseech your wise consideration. As one who serves Your Majesty, I cannot help but think of your safety.”

“This is the deepest and most heavily guarded part of the palace. How could any unfortunate incident happen in such a place.”

“There is such a thing as ‘one in a million’. If anything were to happen to your august person, this Head Eunuch will drop dead on the spot.”

Muryun sighed.

“Then blindfold everyone stationed on the way. They are, at the very least, first-rate warriors, so even with just that, they should be able to respond sufficiently to the ‘one in a million’ you spoke of.”

It was the greatest possible concession. The Head Eunuch finally said no more, clasped his hands, and withdrew.

While the preparations were being completed, Muryun had a clean robe brought and ordered the maid’s clothes in the corner to be disposed of. The canopy was still drawn, but the quick-witted palace servants of the main palace dared not even glance in that direction.

They, who had been moving swiftly and quietly, found Muryun when they were gathering up the maid’s clothes Yihwa had taken off. They said there was something inside the maid’s clothes. What they took out and presented were a donggot and a hairpin.

The donggot was familiar. It was the item he knew was meant for him the moment it was bought. He had been wondering when he would be given it, and it turned out Yihwa had been waiting for the right moment too. Muryun decided to continue feigning ignorance.

The problem was the hairpin. It wasn’t new. It was made of an ivory-like white material, and the craftsmanship was of quite high quality. What was unusual was that the tip was stained black. It didn’t seem to have been intentionally stained. He couldn’t figure out why it had become like this.

That part bothered him, but he took it for now. Then he ordered the Captain of the Guard’s attire to be brought to the bathhouse and handed the items to the eunuch. Now the donggot and the hairpin would be placed in the clothes Yihwa was to wear.

Muryun wrapped Yihwa’s body tightly in the robe the eunuch had brought. Then, he himself, naked, strode boldly out the door.

The Imperial Guards in front of his quarters were as usual. Their backs were ramrod straight, and their posture was correct. However, their eyes, which were staring straight ahead as usual, were covered with a black cloth.

Satisfied, Muryun crossed the veranda. The same black cloth was tied around the eyes of the Imperial Guards who were stationed here and there. As he entered the bathhouse, the steam was thick. The dim pre-dawn air had a rather charming atmosphere.

Muryun removed Yihwa’s robe and slowly entered the bath. Yihwa, sensing him, blinked and opened his eyes.

“Your Majesty……?”

“You can sleep more.”

Because I’ll be by your side.

Yihwa’s eyes slowly closed again. The way he was falling into a drowsy sleep was simply lovely. Muryun, once again, smiled with satisfaction and toyed with the sleeping Yihwa’s hair.

⊹ ࣪ 💮⊹₊

One day in September, when the late heatwave continued. Heukwol returned. He suddenly appeared in front of Yihwa, who was on duty in front of Muryun’s office, and immediately embraced him in a fierce hug. Swords were drawn from all directions. Yihwa hurriedly raised his hand.

The office door burst open as if it would break. Monghyul rushed out first. He saw Heukwol clinging to Yihwa, hesitated for a moment, and then sighed.

Muryun came out next to him. He said nothing. His expression was stern, but he did not forcibly pull Heukwol away.

Yihwa patted Heukwol’s trembling back for a moment before gently pushing him away. He wouldn’t budge. Though flustered, he understood. Normally, he would have continued to hold him, but he was on duty now. And in front of the august Emperor, no less. What was he to do.

“Captain of the Guard Yihwa.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“You may leave the palace for today.”

“……Your Majesty’s grace is as vast as the sea.”

Yihwa took Heukwol and returned to the estate. And first, he had Heukwol washed and fed.

Heukwol, changed into new clothes, faced Yihwa with a haggard expression. The absence of Yeo Yullyeong still didn’t feel real. He had heard of Yeo Yullyeong’s death while he was running frantically around Mujin in the South. He had thought it strange that the person who had promised to contact him was completely silent. But he had never imagined it. Because it was that Yeo Yullyeong.

If Yihwa was someone to be protected, Yeo Yullyeong was a pillar to lean on. A pillar so firm and strong that it alone could support a huge mansion.

Heukwol’s hands clenched into fists. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t feel Yeo Yullyeong’s presence anywhere in the estate. And yet, he still couldn’t believe it.

“Heukwol.”

Yihwa placed his hand on the back of Heukwol’s. There was no need for clumsy words of comfort. They shared the same thing. The feeling of loss wasn’t exactly the same, but it was more similar than anyone else’s.

—For the first time, I felt regret.

“About what.”

—About not having a tongue.

“……”

—Even when I cried, no sound came out.

To Heukwol, his tongue and vocal cords were body parts he could take or leave. There were times when it was inconvenient, but it was literally just that, inconvenient; he never felt like he would die without them.

But now, he felt like he would die. His neck, hidden by a mask, was covered in scratch marks from where he had clawed at his own throat.

—A silent mourning is shabby.

“It’s not.”

—To me, it felt shabby.

“The Shangshuling would have said the same as me, that it’s not.”

Heukwol’s shoulders trembled. He began to cry.

—The Shangshuling who would say that is no longer here.

The silent sobbing was no less than a desperate wail. On the contrary, it pierced the hearts of those who watched.

—You too, Young Master, will disappear like the Shangshuling.

Only then did Yihwa realize the nature of Heukwol’s despair. He saw Yihwa’s death together with Shangshuling’s death. It wasn’t entirely wrong either. Even if they managed to find the medicinal herbs for the antidote in the South in time, it would all be useless without someone to combine them.

—You too, Young Master, will leave me behind.

To him who knew everything, no hesitation or excuses came out. Yihwa lowered his head like a sinner. No, at that moment, he really thought of himself as a sinner.

‘If I hadn’t been foolishly poisoned, Heukwol would have had no reason to go to the South. Then Yeo Yullyeong would have been with him when he returned to the palace, and he wouldn’t have been so easily kidnapped.’

Heukwol’s hand came up and gently cupped Yihwa’s cheek. A gentle force lifted his lowered head.

Is he trying to comfort me? The moment he thought so and obediently complied, Yihwa could see Heukwol’s face right in front of his nose. The mask was already down to his neck.

“Mmph?!”

Lips met lips.

Heukwol’s lips were dry and chapped. As if it represented his suffering, Yihwa’s heart ached even in that moment. He gripped Heukwol’s shoulders and wavered. He couldn’t push him away, nor could he respond, but Heukwol’s mouth slowly opened.

Yihwa closed his eyes. There were two people, but only one tongue. Heukwol’s body gradually stiffened. The hand cupping Yihwa’s cheek lost its strength. As if giving up on something, he tried to pull back.

At that moment, Yihwa grabbed Heukwol’s collar and pulled him in sharply. Their slightly parted lips met again.

Yihwa’s tongue invaded Heukwol’s mouth. Heukwol flinched. He flinched every time the tongue parted his teeth, pressed against the roof of his mouth, and stirred inside his mouth. It was undoubtedly a sexual act, yet it was not his loins but his heart that throbbed. It was more like wounded beasts comforting each other.

At the end of a long consolation, too shabby to be called a kiss, yet too tender to be called meaningless, Yihwa pulled away.

“Heukwol, I.”

Heukwol raised his hand and covered Yihwa’s mouth. Shaking his head, he wrote on Yihwa’s palm. He left his words, one character at a time, with great care.

—It is truly a pity when we kiss.

Yihwa felt a lump in his throat. He knew how cruel his ambiguous attitude must feel to him. But he couldn’t help it. Just as Heukwol knew Yihwa well, he also knew Heukwol well. The heart of Heukwol, whom he had sent far away to live, was now just beginning to return, one step at a time.

We are not related by blood, but you are like a brother to me. You are my family. It’s true that I like you, but it’s different from romantic love. Therefore, you can never have my heart.

If he were to draw a firm line and reject him like that, his own heart might be at ease, but Heukwol would die. His heart would die. How can a person live a normal life with a dead heart, not one that has left, but one that is dead?

Especially Heukwol, though his body was strong, his inner self was full of festering wounds. Like a peach that bruises wherever it is pressed. And now that even Yeo Yullyeong was dead, the only pillar supporting him was himself.

Yihwa, having thought that far, paused.

Then what would happen to Heukwol after he died.

—I will go back to the South.

Heukwol, who said so, felt as precarious as if he were crossing the Sanzu River, not heading to the South.

The fine hairs on his skin stood on end. An indescribable sense of foreboding enveloped his entire body. Yihwa, reaching out his hand without realizing it, grabbed Heukwol’s sleeve.

“Don’t go. Don’t go, stay here. Even if you go, as you said.”

—I will go anyway.

Heukwol coldly shook off his hand. It was the first time he had ever done so, and while Yihwa was fumbling in confusion, his figure vanished without a trace.

“Heukwol?”

Yihwa’s heart dropped.

“Heukwol!”

That was the last time Yihwa saw Heukwol.

⊹ ࣪ 💮⊹₊

Five days after Heukwol disappeared. A carrier eagle from the South flew into the estate. It was a message from Heukwol.

[Arrived in the South.]

That was all, a short sentence devoid of any emotion. I clenched the thin, small piece of letter in my hand. The rustling texture of the paper was imprinted on my palm.

I reminded myself that there was another message I needed to check besides this one. I had to see it. But I kept putting it off, fearing that if I saw it, his death would pierce my heart anew.

Then, when I accepted that I could delay it no longer, I sought out the imperial library, regardless of whether I had the courage or not.