HMLU Ch 18

[Guild] Eraser: I want a sprout.

[Guild] Popuri: Can I ask you guys something?

[Guild] Popuri: Why do you always talk like you are one person?

[Guild] Popuri: Is it a concept?

[Guild] Eraser: No, Pencil says what I want to say first.

[Guild] Eraser: It just overlaps.

[Guild] Popuri: Are you two dating?

[Guild] Pencil: We’re both men…

[Guild] Popuri: Ugh, I’m hearing this outdated remark again.

[Guild] Cityboy: Are you two men??

[Guild] Meritocracy: Hyunseong, shut up.

[Guild] Meritocracy: You need Gom to get sprouts. I’ll do it when he logs in.

[Guild] Pencil: Okay.

[Guild] Eraser: Okay.

Following the heal pair, another shooter joined, finally filling the minimum eight-person requirement to challenge the raid. The Three Evil Gods raid could be conducted with either eight, ten, or twelve people. The difficulty was adjusted according to the number of people, but it was common knowledge that twelve people were the most advantageous for initial strategies since you could increase the number of healers and supporters.

[Guild] Meritocracy: But we don’t have any of that.

[Guild] Meritocracy: We’re going with an elite few.

The decision was solidified thanks to the shooter. While we were agonizing over who to choose for the last dealer spot, a returning user expressed their intention to join through Ongpak.

[Guild] Shooter: Please take care of me.

How do people even reserve nicknames like that…? Of course, the decision wasn’t made solely based on the deep and rich fossil-like smell. In reality, he was a named player who held the number one ranking for shooters from the launch of Appo until about a year ago. Even with a one-year gap, if he could just get the equipment, he was the perfect candidate.

[Guild] Ongpak: Shooter, but

[Guild] Ongpak: Why did you quit the game?

[Guild] Shooter: Ah, I went abroad

[Guild] Shooter: On a long-term business trip

[Guild] Shooter: For my company.

[Guild] Cityboy: Your ranking points must be a waste.

[Guild] Cityboy: You can play games abroad, too.

[Guild] Shooter: Well, that’s…

The shooter, standing demurely with a bow in hand, hesitated for a moment before continuing.

[Guild] Shooter: I blocked foreign IPs to prevent hacking..

[Guild] Shooter: And got on the plane without unblocking it..

[Guild] Ongpak: Ah..

[Guild] Cityboy: Ah..

[Guild] Popuri: Ah..

…He seems a bit of a klutz, but as long as he’s good at the game, whatever… Trying to ignore the slight sense of unease, I checked the tier quest, and a notification popped up that Chanhee had logged in.

《Kkamamgom has logged in.》

[Guild] Popuri: Hi

[Guild] Cityboy: Welcome~

[Guild] Ongpak: Welcome

[Guild] Kkamamgom: Hello

[Guild] Shooter: Welcome, Gom.

Seeing the guild chat window bustling with just one person logging in, it felt like we were finally taking shape. Of course, there was no time to relax and watch. There was about a month left until the Solga update, and it was time to start working if we wanted to hit max level and get the equipment.

[Guild] Meritocracy: Therefore, I’m looking for a leveling slave.

[Guild] Meritocracy: Anyone who can help for two hours

[Guild] Ongpak: Me!

[Guild] Popuri: I’ll go get enhancement materials><

Among the confirmed raid team members, Chanhee, the shooter, and I were the three who didn’t have equipment for the Solga raid. We needed to combine the previous Three Evil Gods, Iglaus raid equipment, with various farmed enhancement materials to reach at least +15 enhancement before we could consider ourselves prepared for the next raid.

Appo’s equipment system didn’t heavily rely on cash purchases. However, notorious grinding, like tier quests, was essential. There were even guilds that specialized in procuring enhancement materials.

―Then it still costs money, right?

“Popuri will be getting most of the expensive stuff, so it won’t be that much. The gold we’ve accumulated playing the game is enough.”

―How do you ‘get’ it?

“You have to do the Mole Miner quest to get mining rights. This alone takes a month of grinding.”

I drew a line in the sand, just in case he said he wanted to go get them himself. Chanhee had been overly enthusiastic lately. He didn’t even understand what getting the first clear meant in a game, but he seemed to think it was important just because I said it was.

There were quite a few guild members besides the raid team. I delegated the guild member selection to Popuri and Cityboy. No one could match those two when it came to filtering out the so-called ‘bombs’. As countless scammers, freeloaders, and catfishes were turned away at the guild’s doorstep, the number of members had surpassed 50.

[Guild] PerfectSquat: Looks like Mansul is going with 12 people.

[Guild] PerfectSquat: 2 Tanks, 3 Healers, 7 Dealers.

[Guild] PerfectSquat: 1 Healer only heals and 7 Dealers maximize DPS or something.

[Guild] Popuri: That again?

[Guild] Popuri: They never get tired of it.

Seeing the same strategy as <Legend>’s early raid approach, it seemed like it was JangDdo’s plan. Naturally, the party size and the named monster’s HP are proportional. Therefore, when increasing the number of members, the quickest way to clear was to include as many dealers as possible.

However, if the dealer-to-healer ratio is too high, it becomes difficult for the healer to care for the entire party. This was especially true in raids like Solga, which were expected to have many area-of-effect damage mechanics. If they weren’t careful, the healing could fall short, leading to a wipe. To prevent this, they planned to add one healer, but fill the remaining dealer slots with talents capable of at least 1.2 times the normal DPS. It was a convenient strategy.

But unfortunately, there’s a law of hole conservation in games. When many people gather, there are bound to be one or two who can’t keep up. Besides…

[Guild] Popuri: How brazen.

[Guild] Popuri: Going with Legend’s dealer lineup..

Among the original raid members, <Mandu> had many tanks and healers remaining in the guild, and <Legend> had many dealers. So, it seemed like they were planning to combine <Mandu>’s tanks and healers with <Legend>’s dealers to form one team, but…

<Mandu> had a ranking paladin and a heal pair that had been working together for a long time, but <Legend>’s dealers were mostly mediocre. To be precise, they barely managed to do their share of the work and acted like it was some great achievement and something to brag about… That’s the kind of people they were made up of.

[Guild] Ongpak: Doesn’t Legend have a lot of good dealers?

[Guild] Popuri: If there are four dealers and two of them do less damage than a Druid, that’s Legend’s dealer lineup.

[Guild] Ongpak: Well, what can you do, Nickmer was so good…

[Guild] Popuri: Still, there’s a limit.. Even if it’s not PVP, not being able to beat a Druid in stationary DPS on a named monster is problematic.

[Guild] SungWoojung: Come to think of it, I wonder if Nickmer really quit the game?

[Guild] SungWoojung: I feel bad for the triple 10-tier equipment.

Only Ongpak and Cityboy, who joined early on, knew that I was Nickmer. I had resigned myself to the fact that it would get out soon and spread around, but surprisingly, no one suspected or asked me about it after that. It was probably thanks to JangDdo saying, “There’s no way he’s Nickmer,” when we were doing PVP.

…Now that I think about it, why was he so sure? I felt like Popuri might know something.

[Whisper] Meritocracy: Hyunseong,

[Whisper] Meritocracy: Did JangDdo ever ask you about me?

[Whisper] Popuri: LOL

[Whisper] Popuri: You’re a ghost, hyung LOL

[Whisper] Popuri: He actually sent me tons of whispers before the PVP

[Whisper] Popuri: Asking if my guild master was Nickmer LOL

As expected, that fussy guy couldn’t have stayed quiet. As I held my forehead and stayed silent, Popuri started chattering excitedly.

[Whisper] Popuri: So I said no LOL. He asked who it was, so

[Whisper] Popuri: I said I lured a friend from another game to play Druid.

[Whisper] Popuri: I really… acted my heart out, you know?

[Whisper] Popuri: I asked if he was close friends with Nickmer, hyungnim.

[Whisper] Popuri: Shouldn’t he know if he asks you directly? LOL He acted all dumbfounded, so

[Whisper] Popuri: He went like, Oh, right; haha

In short, JangDdo was completely played by Popuri. Popuri being Popuri, and JangDdo being JangDdo… I wondered how he ended up getting so thoroughly outsmarted by someone seven years younger than him.

[Whisper] Meritocracy: Okay, you did well.

[Whisper] Popuri: Did Hyunseong do well? ^^

[Whisper] Popuri: Did Hyunseong’s cute act get a passing grade? ^^

[Whisper] Meritocracy: Just stop.

[Whisper] Popuri: Okay.

Leaving behind the satisfied and now subdued Popuri after his proud report, I focused on leveling up. Besides Solga, I was also eager to see the dark tier route Druid story. It was because there wasn’t much time left that I could focus on the game like this.

Once the next semester started, I would have to enter full-fledged job-hunting mode. If I was going to work on my thesis feedback and attend study groups, it would be difficult to play as much as I did now.

Actually, if I have time to play games, I should be meeting Chanhee… So my plan was to hand over the guild to Popuri or Cityboy after seeing the Druid story and defeating Solga.

Chanhee wouldn’t be unemployed forever either… Lost in thought, I launched attacks at the swarming mobs. Would he go to college? Since he was exempt from military service, it wouldn’t be too late even if he prepared for the entrance exam next year and enrolled. I could help him with his studies. Even though I’ve forgotten most of it, I could definitely help with Korean and English…

―Hyung, should we keep killing these?

Snapping back to my senses at the calm question, I saw the level-up effect appear above my head. I quickly said no and ended combat mode.

[Guild] Meritocracy: I’m going to do the tier quest.

[Guild] Meritocracy: Good work, Ongpak.

[Guild] Ongpak: Call me anytime! Loyalty! Loyalty!

“I’m going to raise my darkness tier and see the story.”

―Okay. I’ll be at the training grounds.

Chanhee answered politely and teleported to the guild room, disappearing. I also changed my equipment and headed towards Kamt Mountain.

The ‘Germination’ skill was used to find the one who leaked information, allowing the demons to approach the Druid village. It turned out to be Otan’s biological parents who abandoned him on Kamt Mountain. Unable to bear the pain of the magic-infused seed digging into their palms, Otan’s parents confessed everything and poured out curses.

―You’ll be cursed too! Just like that child who couldn’t abandon the greed before his eyes!

―The child I gave birth to is mine! What does it matter who I sell him to!

I was prepared for the story to be somewhat dark and intense, given it was the ‘Darkness’ route, but every time I peeled back a layer, only hopeless backstories emerged, and as someone immersed in the game, it weighed heavily on my heart. In the end, wasn’t it a case of one child bearing the brunt of all the adults’ mistakes and paying an excessively heavy price?

Could this… simply be described as poetic justice? With my chin resting on my hand, I followed the flow of the story towards the Druid village. As always, the apron-clad Grandma Kapiban was waiting for me.

―Meritocracy, why do you have such a sad expression?

• What should I say?

―It’s nothing.

―Do you know that Otan has been cursed? ←

Grandma Kapiban looked at me silently for a moment. Her round eyes blinked slowly behind her cute monocle. After a while, the grandmother nodded and seated me.

―You must have met Otan.

• What should I say?

―Did you know he would end up like that? ←

―He was wearing such a delightful expression.

Grandma Kapiban gave a bitter smile. No one knew what form the curse of the Sacred Tree would take. I knew he would be cursed, but I hadn’t expected it to be so cruel. Oh dear, you want to save Otan, don’t you?

• What should I say?

―No. That’s absurd. That was the perfect ending for that foolish traitor.

―I think… Otan has already been punished enough.

My hand holding the mouse paused for a moment. I didn’t think Otan should bear all the consequences, but if I was asked if he had been punished enough… the fact that it led to the extinction of the Kapiban weighed on my mind.

“…….”

After much deliberation, I chose the first option. Grandma Kapiban gave a wry smile.

―There’s no need to pretend. You’re a human child. The passion that resides within you is fundamentally different from ours. When Otan left us, you resented him, were angry, and grieved. You burst into anger, asking how he could betray us. That’s because beneath your heart, there is affection and curiosity for Otan.

So you don’t have to hold back or hide your words, trying to understand our hearts based on your standards. Do you want to lift Otan’s curse? Or are you curious as to why we aren’t saving him?

• What should I say?

―Is there a way to lift the curse?

―Why aren’t you saving him? ←

I chose the second option without hesitation. Asking why they weren’t saving him was no different from saying there was a way. Grandma Kapiban tilted her head and smiled.

―Why do you think that is?

• What should I say?

―Because the Kapiban will disappear because of Otan…? ←

―Because you resent losing the Ginkgo Sacred Tree…?

―No, no… Meritocracy. You still don’t understand us. This land originally belonged to the demons. We, who were accidentally blessed by the Sacred Tree, occupied it only temporarily. Therefore, it’s natural for the demons to dig up the Sacred Tree and try to expel us.

So you’re accepting it? No… I’m simply saying it’s just a flow. The demons might not have cared much about a small mountain like this and left it alone. The parents who abandoned their child could have resisted the temptation of wealth and kept their mouths shut. The child could have resisted temptation and chosen his current family. But no one did, so this is where we are now.

• What should I say?

―Are you disappointed in humans? ←

―Do you resent Otan?

―No. I’m not disappointed in humans, and I don’t resent Otan. I still love you and Otan as our kin.

Then why aren’t you saving him? That’s… for the same reason we don’t resent him.

That child simply made a choice. He chose easy and sweet betrayal over difficult and arduous righteousness. We don’t have the curiosity to wonder why he made that choice, nor the passion to question the consequences of that choice. That’s the innate difference between you and us, the fundamental way we are.

So, we don’t feel like saving him.

Do you have any more questions?

My hand holding the mouse became sweaty. I paused the screen and reread the script. So… To the Kapiban, ‘me’ and Otan are truly ‘different beings’.

It’s the same whether it’s ‘me’ or Otan. To them, humans are just a passing breeze. Just a potted plant they temporarily become attached to and care for. They can cherish and care for them, but they never mix their emotions on the same level.

“…….”

Realizing the meaning between the lines, I suddenly felt terribly lonely. Otan, who put them in danger of extinction, felt much closer than the Kapiban, whom I respected and loved like family.

At the same time, I wondered what the writer was trying to say through this story. Was it a warning that cherishing beings different from myself would only lead to a misunderstanding? Did it mean that even parents who abandoned me, friends who betrayed me – are still better than the different race I love?

“No, no over-immersion…”

Muttering to myself, I got up from my seat. I drank a glass of water and stretched for no reason, but I couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling of what Otan and the Kapiban symbolized. In the end, I returned to my seat and grabbed the mouse again.

• What should I say?

―How can I save Otan?

―If I want to save Otan, will you help me? ←

This was a subtle way of phrasing the question again. The second one especially. It was filled with the hope that Grandma Kapiban might still hold a special affection for me. After much contemplation, I chose the second option. Grandma Kapiban on the screen thought for a moment and nodded.

―I don’t want you to go down that path. But if you must go, I will help you.

• What should I say?

―Why don’t you want me to? ←

―How can I do it?

―Meritocracy, you may not understand us… but to us, all your choices to be entangled in past events and waste precious time are regrettable. You have us, and you’ve met new companions on your adventures. Then why do you try to intertwine your life with Otan, who abandoned you and met his own demise? Why do you insist on taking a path of hardship, where only you will be confused and agonized?

I unconsciously fell into thought, my chin resting on my hand. I had already seen the Kapiban’s transcendental pacifism in the Nature-Magic interconnected story. They do not dwell on the past, nor do they fear the future, and if something is irreversible, they do not hold resentment. I thought this was a unique gentleness and wisdom that only this race possessed.

But to say it was simply because Otan and ‘I’… unlike ‘us’, who are human.

To ask, “Why are you wasting your time on such useless things?” while ‘I’ agonize over the Kapiban’s extinction and my friend’s revenge.

I sighed and skimmed through the remaining dialogue options. Only after all the script was finished could I understand the identity of the emotion that was slowly raising its head in my chest. It was disappointment.

I loved the human anthem, the affectionate gaze towards the protagonist that author Im Jungah showed through 『The Saga of Isea』. ―It’s okay if your birthplace is humble and miserable. You can live the life you want, with the people you choose, in a completely different world. I don’t know how much comfort I received from the message filled with warm encouragement and love for the protagonist.

But now, 15 years later, it’s saying, “Humans are just humans after all.”

“Ha…”

Is it violent arrogance to wonder what happened to make her change so much? I stopped abruptly as I rubbed my face. I suddenly remembered the reason why author Im Jungah hadn’t published a new work in 15 years.

It was because her child was sick. A little girl in a pink dress.

“… …”

What happened to that child? Did she recover well and is she living a healthy life? Or…

I thought about it when I met Chanhee, but I couldn’t bring myself to look into it. I was afraid of hearing bad news. Since she wrote a game scenario, even if it wasn’t a new novel, it probably meant the child had recovered well… I wanted to blindly believe that way and just bury it.

After some thought, I opened an internet window and searched for “Author Im Jungah”. I sorted by time, but all the recent articles were about “Asyrus of Fortune.” I couldn’t find the articles from 15 years ago. It seemed that personal issues of fantasy novel writers weren’t newsworthy back then.

Should I change the search term? As I hesitated and pondered, my phone suddenly rang. Startled, I looked down and saw it was Chanhee.

“Oh, Chanhee. Why?”

―The Discord disconnected. Are you busy?

“Disconnected? When did that happen…?”

―It suddenly cut off when you were sighing deeply.

…He must have thought I rage-quit. I plopped down on the bed and lay back. Hearing his soft and sweet voice calmed my troubled mind.

“Ah… sorry. I was a bit upset after seeing the story…”

―Why? Was it a bad story?

“No, it’s just… I feel like it would’ve been better to leave first love as first love… something like that…”

―First love? Who?

“…Huh?”

―You said you thought of your first love while watching the story. Who is it?

I’d forgotten because we’d been communicating well lately. This is the kind of person Chanhee is. I barely managed to suppress my laughter and calmly continued speaking.

“No, no. That’s not what I meant.”

―What?

“I didn’t mean it like that… More importantly, if I tell you about my first love, do you even know who it is?”

I couldn’t completely erase the faint traces of laughter that escaped. Fortunately, Chanhee didn’t seem to mind and grumbled.

―Even if I don’t know who it is, I can still be curious.

“What good is it being curious about that, silly?”

―I don’t know… I can’t help but ask, what can I do?

At his childish whining, I finally burst out laughing, “Heehee.” Ha… In this desolate life, this kid is the only one who comforts me.

“What are you doing tonight, Chanhee? Want to go on a date with hyung?”

―Yes, I want to go on a date.

“What do you want to eat? Let’s eat something delicious. I’ll buy you dinner.”

―I want to eat what you like, hyung.

“Really? Then, hmm… Let’s set a time first. I’ll think about it.”

―Okay.

I have to feed him something delicious. As soon as I hung up, I sent a message to Soojung, feeling a sense of urgency.

[Soojung, please let me know if there’s a restaurant within a 2-kilometer radius that’s delicious, has a good atmosphere, and costs less than 30,000 won per person. A separate dining space would be even better.]

The reply came quickly, but it wasn’t very hopeful.

[Everything’s good, but there’s no way you’ll find a separate dining space at that price.]

[ㅠㅠ..Then at least a place with a wall table..]

[Why? Is your boyfriend so handsome you have to hide him? I really want to say you’re being ridiculous, but I’ve seen him in person so I can’t say that lol.]

[LOL ^^]

[Don’t laugh, it’s pissing me off ㅠ; Anyway, I’ll pick a few and send them. Hold on.]

Soojung soon sent me a list of suitable restaurants with pictures attached. She’s such a good friend… I smiled contentedly and put down my phone. I hummed to myself as I styled my bangs to cover the bandage and picked out some nice clothes.

🕹️

The Mediterranean restaurant Soojung recommended had low lighting, a clean atmosphere, and wide spacing between tables. I purposely chose a corner seat and sat Chanhee facing the wall. Chanhee looked around and then smiled brightly when our eyes met.

“This place is nice. Do you come here often?”

“Huh? Uh… yeah.”

Actually, it was my first time, but I blurted out a bluff without realizing it. Chanhee tilted his head, humming, and asked a slightly mischievous question.

“With whom?”

“…….”

“I don’t think you would come to a place like this with your friends.”

“…When we first met, we ate at a much fancier place.”

“Well, that’s because I didn’t meet you to be friends.”

He’s so chatty… I glanced at him and ordered a two-person set meal. I wanted to buy him something better and more expensive, but even this was quite extravagant for a job seeker.

Fortunately, Chanhee ate everything that came out without complaint. I wondered if it didn’t suit his taste when I saw him meticulously cutting the wood-fired pizza into bite-sized pieces, but seeing him clean his plate, it seemed like he just had neat eating habits.

Just wait until I get a job… I’ll buy him steak every time we meet. I made a firm resolution and then suddenly remembered the thought that crossed my mind earlier.

“Chanhee, there’s something I want to ask you…”

“Yes, hyung.”

“I’m not trying to pressure you or interfere or anything, I’m really genuinely curious. Since I’m thinking about my schedule for next year, I thought it would be good to know your schedule as well…”

Chanhee tilted his head at my lengthy preamble. There wasn’t a trace of suspicion on his smooth face.

“You can just ask. I won’t misunderstand or take anything you say the wrong way.”

I was the one who was flustered by his encouragement, spoken as if it was nothing difficult.

“…Ah.”

I gulped dryly. Right. Chanhee had never doubted me or taken my words at anything other than face value.

“No, it wasn’t anything important, just…”

He was like a child who believed everything I said was right.

“Are you planning on, like… going to college, or learning something… I was curious if you had any plans. I thought I could help you if you’re going to study for the entrance exam…”

“You mean you’re wondering if I’m going to college?”

“…Yeah.”

“I haven’t thought about it yet… Should I go?”

I was momentarily speechless. What could I even say to him about this? I scratched the side of my head, trying to sound casual.

“If there’s something you want to study…?”

“I haven’t thought about that either… but… if you think I should go, hyung, then I will.”

A stiff laugh escaped me. It felt like the right time to laugh. However, Chanhee just stared at me with a face devoid of any humor.

“Or should I quickly find a job where I can earn money?”

“…….”

“I’ll do whatever you tell me to do, hyung.”

I could tell it was pure, unadulterated sincerity. This kid was really going to do whatever I told him to. Because he thought I was right.

“Chanhee…”

While I was certainly happy with this docile and blind affection…

“Don’t say things like that. It’s your life, how can I decide for you?”

Why did I feel a sense of pressure?

“Think about it carefully. What you want to do… Talk it over with your parents too.”

“I…”

Without once averting his gaze, which was fixed on me, Chanhee slowly opened his mouth.

“I want to be by your side, hyung. To do that, I have to become someone you need, right?”

“…….”

“So I’ll do whatever you want.”

A sensation of the surroundings suddenly distancing themselves washed over me. I slowly blinked and swallowed. Yes, I knew what this heavy feeling settling in my heart was.

This was doubt.

“…I…”

The feelings Chanhee was directing towards me. I definitely felt the uncritical trust underlying them. A child who would act as if he were dying if I told him to. He sensitively accepted every single word and action of mine, being mindful and hovering around, careful not to displease me. It was like…

“….”

It was just like me when I was young.

Was I overthinking? Was I worrying needlessly because a lot of bad things had been happening lately?

I forced the corners of my stiffened lips upwards. Yes, I was overthinking. Because this child was the only thing I could control, I was being needlessly afraid. I changed the subject and pretended not to know. It was a bad habit I resorted to whenever I was in an awkward situation.