HMLU Ch 4
by soapaI jolted awake, as if pricked by something, to the faint beeping of an alarm. Startled, I fumbled around my bedside and opened my eyes to find my hand gripping the mouse.
“…”
As I groggily sat up, I saw my character standing blankly at the foot of Kamt Mountain. Outside, the sky was gradually brightening. I vaguely recalled scouring Kamt Mountain like a man possessed until my head grew heavy and I slumped over for a quick nap. A sigh escaped me in disbelief. To think I’d lose to sleep like this when staying up all night was supposed to be no big deal. It seemed I needed to start exercising again.
For days, I’d been combing through the Druid village, Kamt Mountain, and Riolea every dawn, but I hadn’t found anything resembling the hut in the Demon Forest. With a foggy mind, I mulled over the lines Black Bear had mentioned from “Shady Someone.” I’ve been waiting, take this…
“…Hold on.”
If this was a quest related to Druids, there had to be a storyline leading up to the dark bear receiving the pass. Black Bear seemed completely clueless, so the only lead was the Nature Tier 2 quest.
Could it be that the hut was part of a quest triggered during the process of a dark bear advancing through the Nature Tier? If so, perhaps if a Druid pursued the Darkness Tier…
“…”
Most would call it insanity. To raise a tier, you need “divinity” points accumulated from battles in Appho. The divinity gained while leveling a character to max barely suffices for a double Tier 10. In other words, achieving a triple Tier 10 requires two things:
- Grinding tier quests relentlessly.
- Grinding divinity equivalent to 150% of the experience needed to reach max level.
That’s why my guildmates had scoffed when I declared I’d pursue the Holy Tier. The divinity required skyrockets with each tier level, so if this was a wild goose chase, I might end up crying tears of blood before hitting max level.
But so what? It’s not like I was risking my life for some grand purpose. With a sudden resolve to dive into the Darkness Tier, I gripped the mouse, then snapped out of it. I remembered why I’d set the alarm.
“The professor’s out for an external engagement but said to pick up the feedback.”
The teaching assistant, surrounded by stacks of papers, spoke in a barely audible voice. I quietly picked up my thesis, its cover already scarred with red-inked critiques.
Just holding the tattered stack of paper, riddled with sharp feedback, sticky notes, and attached memo references, made my chest tighten. I wanted to cry, but for the sake of social decorum, I held it in and left the lab. It was a small mercy I didn’t run into the professor.
I trudged out of the building toward the main gate. The weather was still hot when the sun blazed overhead. Fanning myself with my mangled thesis, I walked on when a familiar voice called out from somewhere.
“Haemin!”
Turning, I saw Sujung waving from the gate. I approached, mumbling a greeting, and noticed she wasn’t alone. A few familiar faces from my year were there too.
“What are you fossils doing here?”
“What’s that? Hitting us with an insult the moment we reunite?”
Despite the words, raucous laughter erupted. It was the bittersweet bond forged among peers who’d met in our cocky twenties, drunk on the prestige of an elite university, only to face the despair of plummeting job prospects together. Sujung tapped my shoulder and continued.
“Good timing. I was about to call you.”
“Me?”
“These guys were meeting up to prep for a competition, and I ran into them by chance. I was thinking of dragging you out for a meal.”
“Sorry, next time… I’m exhausted from pulling an all-nighter.”
Sujung, about to press further, paused. She’d spotted the tattered thesis in my hand. Her knowing nod was filled with pity. …If I told her I’d stayed up gaming, she’d have no mercy. I let her misunderstand and gave a vague farewell.
“Really sorry, let’s meet up next time.”
“Hey, Haemin. Are you free tomorrow, then?”
One of the group piped up, and the others let out an “Ohh” in response.
“We’re getting a big group of classmates together tomorrow. You never check the group chat.”
“…Uh, I’ll check it. But tomorrow, I’ve got something…”
“Again? Haemin, you’re not avoiding us because you’re worried we’ll tease you for going to grad school after failing to land a job, are you? No one’s gonna say that to an elite who graduated in seven semesters and is pursuing a master’s at twenty-five.”
“What’s this unemployed loser talking about…? I really have plans.”
“What plans? Meeting someone? A girl?”
“Nope, unfortunately not.”
After bantering back and forth for a while, I finally managed to say goodbye. As the group started to disperse, Sujung quietly caught up to me.
“Not a girl, then… a guy?”
Her hushed, teasing voice was brimming with mischief. I winked and lowered my voice to match.
“Yeah, a fresh guy.”
“What, what? Since when? Who?”
“Dunno. First time meeting him.”
“…Huh?”
Our freshman year, at our first MT, a small group of six or seven close classmates gathered in a room. Heavily drunk, we each confessed a secret. One admitted to getting eyelid surgery, another to cheating on a high school exam. Fueled by alcohol-impaired judgment, the thrill of new relationships, and the strange excitement of sharing secrets, I blurted out that I thought I liked guys. A brief silence hung in the room.
The next day, sober and regretful, I braced myself, but none of those classmates acted strangely. The rumor never spread within our department either.
Maybe that experience made me a bit delusional. I started to believe I had an eye for spotting people who’d understand or accept me.
“What? Did you use a dating app or something?”
Sujung asked, her eyes narrowing with suspicion.
“Nah…”
“Then what?”
“It’s a long story, but it’s from a game… Anyway, it’s not anything shady or weird.”
“Hmm…”
When alone with me, Sujung often brought up dating. She’d ask what type I liked. I’d say good-looking guys, obviously, and she’d nod like she got it.
“You’ve never dated, have you?”
…Her intuition was annoyingly sharp.
“Anyway, I hope this is the time our Haemin finally escapes being forever single.”
“I told you, it’s not like that… Just a gaming buddy.”
“You won’t know until you meet him. What if you meet and he’s totally your type? You’re not gonna date him?”
“Buddy, the world isn’t exactly overflowing with guys who are my type.”
“Fair enough,” Sujung laughed, ruffling my hair.
“What time’s your meeting tomorrow? Stop by my salon for a blow-dry first.”
“It’s not a date.”
“So what? It’s been a while since you’ve met someone new, hasn’t it? Think of it as a mood booster.”
“Nah, I’m good. Don’t overdo it.”
After waving her off several times, Sujung finally stopped, raising a fist in the air. “Fighting!” Ignoring her quiet cheer, I headed toward my apartment.
🕹️
Kkamamgom: Oh ㅇㅁㅇ Hyung
Kkamamgom: You’re here early ㅇ(^^)ㅇ
The moment I logged into the game, Black Bear came bounding over. I’d told him I’d probably only be able to log in around evening, that I’d be late.
Meritocracy: Yeah, it just worked out that way
Meritocracy: What were you up to?
Kkamamgom: We’re meeting tomorrow, right! >.<
A bad feeling hit me. What, was he about to cancel again? I waited silently, and he tilted his head.
Kkamamgom: So where are we meeting? ^ㅁ^
“…Oh.”
Come to think of it, we hadn’t set a time or place. I didn’t even have his contact info. Since we were meeting offline, it made sense to exchange numbers.
Meritocracy: Oh… What time works for you?
Kkamamgom: I’m free anytime (^^)
Kkamamgom: As long as it’s not too late ㅇ_ㅇ
Meritocracy: Then let’s meet around lunchtime
Meritocracy: As for the place…
My fingers hesitated. Come to think of it, the only places I knew were restaurants near campus, and tomorrow was the classmate gathering. The thought of potentially running into them made me uneasy.
Meritocracy: Hmm… How about somewhere near your place?
As the older one, I figured I should take the lead, but I decided to let go of that urge. Black Bear, scratching his head, popped an exclamation mark above his character.
Kkamamgom: Sure ^ㅇ^
Kkamamgom: Should I look for a restaurant then?!
Meritocracy: Yeah, that’d be great, thanks
Meritocracy: I’ll give you my number
I typed my phone number into the chat, and a notice popped up: . Almost immediately, my phone started ringing.
What, did my info get sold already? I chuckled at the silly thought and checked the screen. An unsaved number. I picked up, and sure enough, a familiar voice came through.
—Hyung.
His tone was soft, like he was smiling gently.
—This is my number.
“…Oh.”
—Great. See you tomorrow.
I mumbled a dazed reply, and the call ended, but Black Bear was still on my screen. This guy… he’s kind of an odd one, in more ways than one.
I saved his number as “Black Bear” and opened the messenger app. His profile was completely blank. No name, no photo.
“Hmm…”
I’d hoped at least his real name would be there. After a moment’s thought, I asked in the chat.
Meritocracy: What’s your name?
Kkamamgom: My name? ㅇ.ㅇ
Meritocracy: Yeah, your real name
Kkamamgom: Oh ^ㅁ^ It’s Chanhee, Woo Chanhee ㅇ.ㅇ)v
Kkamamgom: What’s your surname, hyung?
Woo Chanhee… I mulled it over, then tilted my head. Not my name, but my surname?
“…Oh.”
Right, I’d set my Discord name to my real name. Brushing off the unease, I typed back.
Meritocracy: It’s Shim, Shim Haemin
A brief silence followed. Even though it was just the game screen, it felt like the air had shifted. What was that? I stared, puzzled, and soon Black Bear gave a thumbs-up.
Kkamamgom: That’s a cool name ^///^
…Did the vibe just get weird, or was it my imagination? Before I could dwell on it, Black Bear sent a link.
Kkamamgom: Is a place like this okay? ^_^ I went there once before and it was nice!
I clicked it and saw a classy Spanish restaurant with a chic outdoor terrace. …This really feels like a place you’d go for a date. Not wanting to nitpick when he’d gone to the trouble of finding it, I replied calmly.
Meritocracy: Yeah, I eat anything
Kkamamgom: Awesome! ㅇ///ㅇ)9
Meritocracy: Then let’s meet there at 1… and do our daily quests for now
Meeting was one thing, but time was running out to tackle the daily quests.
🕹️
[Get a blow-dry, I’ll make you look pretty.]
The message from Sujung, waiting for me the moment I woke up, briefly tempted me, but I quietly pushed it aside. It felt a bit much, and I didn’t have the time anyway. I’d overslept after grinding that darn Darkness Tier quest.
A quick wash-up would get me there right on time. At least I was wearing new clothes, though the bags under my eyes were noticeable. I tamed my slightly messy hair and slipped on my shoes.
The meeting spot was five bus stops away. As I sat on the rattling bus, the scenery outside shifted from the bustling university district to quiet, quaint alleys. The weather was perfectly clear. I stared blankly out the window when my phone buzzed.
[You coming or what? —.—]
[This guy ghosts us all the time]
Sujung’s patience seemed to be at its limit. Realizing my mistake, I quickly typed a reply.
[It’s not a date, I told you ㅡㅡ]
It was the truth. Wearing clean clothes and looking decent was one thing, but a blow-dry was overkill. Still, I couldn’t help glancing at my reflection in the dark phone screen. It was the same face as always.
[It doesn’t have to be a date to make an effort!!]
[You’ve gotta seize every chance you get!]
Her rapid-fire messages came with a cat emoji pounding its chest in frustration. I laughed and turned off the screen. As if she’d seen me, more scolding texts flooded in.
[ㅡㅡ So annoying, Shim Haemin]
[Don’t be too picky just ‘cause you’ve got a face]
[There’s a limit to how much we’ll let your cuteness slide]
She was probably grinning as she sent these. She was a good friend. I pocketed my phone and leaned my head back. A slow sigh slipped out. Ah…
…I need to level up.
“…”
Three more dungeon runs would’ve gotten me a level-up, but I’d lost to sleep and missed it, which nagged at me. I’d even seriously considered this morning: maybe I should just… cancel the meeting…
But after he’d already flaked once, and since I was curious about what he knew about “Nickmer,” I dragged my heavy body out. Days of sleep deprivation left my eyes gritty. I let out a long yawn and turned my head. The scenery nearing the meeting spot was peaceful.
I got off the bus and checked the time—ten minutes early. Perfect timing. I strolled toward the restaurant I’d looked up. From what I’d checked, it was pricier than expected, but luckily, my savings from living frugally were still plentiful.
I should at least cover the meal. I’m three years older, and this is for my shuttle, after all.
The restaurant was in a quiet alley, but being a weekend, it was crowded. There seemed to be a wait, so I headed to the entrance. A smiling staff member stood with a tablet.
“Is the wait long?”
“Hello, sir. If you provide your contact info now, you should be able to enter in about 40 minutes.”
Forty minutes… I felt a pang of hesitation. Waiting 40 minutes with someone I was meeting for the first time to get into a restaurant didn’t seem ideal. Maybe I should check with Black Bear, I thought, when the staff spoke again.
“You don’t have a reservation, correct?”
Then it hit me. Black Bear said he’d been here before—maybe he made a reservation.
“Could you check for me?”
“Of course. Your name, please?”
“Uh… It’s, well, Chan… Woo Chanhee.”
“Woo Chanhee… Oh, your party is already here. I’ll guide you.”
The staff lowered the tablet and pointed inside. At the same time, the door opened, and another staff member came out to escort me.
The restaurant’s interior was even cleaner, with a soft ambiance. The tables were spaced generously, and the harmony of coordinated colors and materials created a calming atmosphere.
The seated patrons were immersed in their own conversations and vibes. But as I approached the innermost part—near a large window—I noticed the gazes of those around subtly converging on one spot. Men and women alike, while eating or chatting, would occasionally glance in the same direction.
At first, I thought it was the view. A square table covered with a crisp cloth sat in front of a window facing the garden. The sunlit garden shimmered with lush green and vibrant golden hues, like silk embroidered with gold thread.
As I got closer, I realized it was because of the man seated at the table. He sat neatly, gazing out the window. His eyelashes, gleaming white in the sunlight, were strikingly long, and his pale skin, contrasting with jet-black hair, was flawless. I stared at his sharp nose before consciously looking away.
Is he a celebrity? Is there a shoot happening? I brushed off the awkward thoughts, but the staff leading me suddenly stopped.
“I’ll prepare your seat.”
I blankly responded, “Huh?” The seat they indicated was at the man’s table, the chair across from him. The man turned his head, meeting my eyes. His glossy black eyes felt piercing for a moment.
“You’re here?”
A familiar voice came from his parted lips. Low and smooth, almost bittersweet, like dark chocolate, he greeted me as if we’d met just yesterday.
“…Oh.”
“You’re early. Have a seat.”
A faint smile played on his lips as he gestured. I sat down, dazed, stealing glances at the man before me.
“…”
His hair, eyebrows, and eyes were all jet-black. As I snuck looks, one thought dominated. Clenching my fist under the table, I stewed in regret.
I should’ve… gotten that blow-dry…
“What’s wrong?”
He must’ve sensed something off, because he asked.
“Nothing… Just a bit surprised.”
“Surprised?”
“I’ve never seen someone as good-looking as you, so I’m shocked.”
At my blunt words, he pointed to himself. Me? his gesture seemed to ask. I nodded, and he gave an ambiguous smile.
“You’re much better-looking, hyung. There are tons of guys who look like me.”
“…Where? Where are all these guys who look like you?”
“My mom says there’s a truckload of them in Seoul.”
“Guess I don’t live in Seoul then…”
As I grumbled, he opened the menu.
“The lunch here is pretty good.”
“Can you order for me? I’ve never had Spanish food before, so I’m not sure what to get.”
“Sure.”
During a brief lull in the conversation, as I sipped from my water glass, I couldn’t help but notice the increasingly blatant stares from other tables. At a table diagonally across, there was even a woman openly gawking. Black Bear, however, seemed completely oblivious to the attention, his face perfectly composed. …Unbelievable. He must know better than anyone how good-looking he is.
“So, when did you come to Seoul?”
“Huh?”
“You said there’s a truckload of guys like you in Seoul. Doesn’t that mean you’re not from here?”
“Oh. It’s not so much Seoul… I haven’t been back in Korea for long. I was overseas for treatment for a while, and I only returned after achieving complete remission. It’s been about three months, I think?”
He finished speaking and flipped a page in the menu. His downcast eyes looked cold, but his tone was gentle and warm. The subtle contrast created a strange, floating sensation. My mind felt sluggish, and I just blinked for a moment before belatedly processing the weight of what he’d casually mentioned, swallowing hard.
He was overseas for treatment? What’s complete remission? My confused mind recalled him mentioning he was exempt from military service.
“Uh… Were you sick?”
I asked, settling on a simple question, and he nodded.
“It was a long time ago. I’m fine now.”
“…A long time ago?”
“The treatment ended five years ago. Just in case of a relapse, I had regular check-ups and waited. After five years, they said the risk of recurrence is low, that I’m okay, so I came back home.”
I still couldn’t make sense of it. Meanwhile, he ordered a course menu from the approaching server with a satisfied smile.
What kind of illness required overseas treatment, five years of monitoring post-recovery, and even a military exemption? Every serious disease I could think of swirled in my head.
“Is it… okay for you to play games?”
I was curious but unsure if it was okay to ask directly. In the end, I tossed out a dumb question, and he tilted his head.
“It’s fine. I’ve been exercising diligently for the past five years.”
“Oh…”
“I don’t know what the future holds, but for now, there’s no problem.”
He spoke so casually that I wondered if it wasn’t a big deal after all. I nodded and sipped my water again, but he leaned forward and added.
“I go to bed early just because it’s a habit.”
“…”
“You’ve been staying up all night lately, haven’t you?”
His sudden, piercing comment nearly made me choke. Barely avoiding an embarrassing scene, I calmly responded.
“How’d you know?”
“We’re married, aren’t we?”
“Huh? What?”
“It shows your login times in the spouse window.”
…Oh, that. Feeling sheepish for jumping, I rubbed my forehead. He squinted and laughed silently.
“What do you do all night? Your level hasn’t gone up much… Is there that much to do in this game?”
“No, it’s just something personal…”
“Personal?”
His scattered gaze locked onto mine again. The sunlight filtering through the greenery brushed across his impossibly handsome face. …Looking like that must dull your senses. He didn’t even seem like a real person, and I found myself at a loss for words.
“Something?”
His voice, almost too sweet, didn’t help.
“…Well, you know… I’ve got stuff to do. I keep my level close to yours, so I only level up enough to match.”
“That’s it? Why?”
“If the level gap between party members is too wide, there’s a divinity debuff. Low-level players can’t piggyback off max-level ones because of the system…”
I rambled on, then suddenly felt a wave of self-consciousness. It’s not like I’d never met gaming friends in real life or talked about this stuff out loud, but why did it feel so awkward now?
No, snap out of it. Being a gaming nerd isn’t a crime.
“Anyway, yeah… It’s no big deal.”
“Hmm…”
As I brushed it off, a strange voice came from behind my shoulder.
“Excuse me, but…”
I glanced back and, sure enough, it was the woman who’d been staring at Black Bear. She was clutching a business card in both hands.
“Are you affiliated with any company?”
Her words caught me off guard. It wasn’t just about getting his number, apparently. Well, it made sense. His looks weren’t the kind you’d approach with casual interest…
“A company? No, I don’t work anywhere.”
Meanwhile, the twenty-two-year-old unemployed guy seemed to miss the point entirely. I had no choice but to play the sidekick in a romance manga, explaining the situation.
“I think she’s asking if you’re preparing to be a celebrity.”
“Oh, yes! Exactly!”
The woman’s gaze finally shifted to me. Her round eyes sparkled, then turned serious.
“Are both of you trainees? Which agency?”
“Uh…”
“Is there a gag order? It’s okay, you can tell me.”
Black Bear just stared at me blankly, so the woman zeroed in on me, probably thinking I was the easier target.
“No, we’re not… We’re not involved in that at all. Right?”
I stammered an excuse and looked at Black Bear. He just shrugged. The woman gasped, her already large eyes widening further.
“Not trainees? Both of you? Just regular people?”
“Yes…”
“Perfect. I’m a casting manager at Hills Entertainment. Here, take my card. You know Yoon Ichai, right? Choi Sugeom, Yoon Doa?”
“…Uh, look, we’re not interested—”
I’m not, but is he? I instinctively glanced at Black Bear again. No matter how I looked at it, she was after him, so was it okay for me to shut this down? Unfazed, the woman spoke faster, her excitement growing.
“May I ask how old you are?”
“I’m twenty-two, and hyung is twenty-five.”
Black Bear chimed in the moment he knew the answer. The woman’s eyes were practically blazing now.
“Twenty-two? What about military service?”
“Exempt. Hyung served.”
“Great. Perfect.”
This guy… when he clams up, it’s because he genuinely doesn’t get it. I recalled how he sometimes seemed clumsy in casual conversation. Those moments when our talks felt off—maybe my words were too complex for him. Having been abroad for a long time and sick, it all made sense now.
“Do you want to be a celebrity? Like a singer or actor?”
So, I figured I should ask directly like this. At my question, Black Bear’s eyes widened.
“No?”
“Okay, got it. Sorry, ma’am, we have no talent, skills, or dreams of entering the entertainment industry.”
My firm declaration made her pause. A flicker of disappointment crossed her face, but she quickly smiled.
“Oh, come on, you don’t have to decide something like this so quickly. Just take my card and think it over carefully.”
“No, really…”
“I’m not asking for your number, right? I’m just giving you my card. That’s all. Take it, go home, and think it over thoroughly. Enjoy your meal.”
With a bright smile, she shoved a card into each of our hands and gave a cheerful farewell. Overwhelmed by her intensity, I ended up holding onto the card as she left. It felt like a storm had swept through. After she returned to her seat, Black Bear whispered just loud enough for me to hear.
“What was that?”
…Yeah, no kidding.
“She’s from an entertainment agency and wants to cast you.”
“Me? Why?”
“Look in a mirror.”
He hummed, inspecting the card with little interest. I took a sip of water and asked casually.
“First time this has happened?”
“Someone approaching me out of nowhere?”
“…Yeah.”
“It’s been happening a lot since I came back to Korea.”
As if that face wouldn’t turn heads abroad. I stared, and a server approached with a trolley carrying wine.
“Sir, if you’re uncomfortable, would you like us to move you to a private room?”
I was scanning the wine selection when the server asked cautiously, probably concerned after seeing the woman approach. I glanced at Black Bear, who shook his head.
“No, I like this spot.”
“Understood. If you change your mind later, just let us know.”
The server poured us each a glass of red wine. Without looking up, Black Bear spoke to me.
“I left the wine to the chef’s recommendation. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, sure.”
…This meal’s gonna cost a fortune. The smooth wine slipping past my lips tasted unusually bitter. Then, a sense of entitlement I hadn’t even considered until now surged up. I gave up leveling to come here and pay for an expensive meal—might as well get clear answers to my burning questions.
“So, what’s this about the background check?”
“Background check?”
“You said you’d tell me in person. Nickne… Immuham or whatever.”
Why is saying a game nickname in real life so embarrassing? To suppress my urge to seem like a respectable young man who doesn’t live for gaming, I took another sip of wine. Black Bear let out a soft “Ah” and a faint smile before speaking calmly.
“I thought he might be someone I know, so I did a little digging.”
“What kind of digging?”
“Googling.”
For a moment, I doubted my ears. What-ling?
“So… You opened a Chrome window and searched for NicknameMuhum?”
“Yeah.”
“And that’s the kind of digging that could get you arrested?”
“It’s not?”
His innocent counter-question came with a gentle smile. Now I was getting confused. Was he messing with me? He seemed a bit offbeat, making it hard to tell where the sincerity ended and the joking began.
“If searching something could get you arrested, we wouldn’t be living in a democratic society… Anyway, what did you find?”
“His name, for starters.”
“…Huh?”
“…Part of it. Also, the school he attends, his year… and his SNS account.”
I racked my brain. Had I ever publicly shared personal details while playing Appho? I hadn’t, but since JangDdo, a classmate, was in our guild, it wouldn’t be surprising if word had spread among guildmates. But my year and SNS?
“You searched NicknameMuhum and found all that?”
“No. Well… It was a different order.”
“Order?”
“I didn’t search NicknameMuhum. I searched something else, and NicknameMuhum came up.”
What’s that supposed to mean…? I stared blankly as the trolley returned. Bread and olive oil were set out, and while the server rattled off explanations, I racked my brain but came up empty. Black Bear muttered softly to me, still dazed.
“deepsea0612.”
He recited it in English, numbers and all, in that smooth voice, like it was the title of an album. I mulled it over and gasped. It was my ID, one I’d used since I was a kid.
“Two years ago, a university community board posted a list of graduation album applicants. The last character of the name was hidden, but it included email addresses.”
“…”
“So I don’t know the last character, but the first two matched your name. Starting with Shim Hae…”
I didn’t know what expression to make. If you’re going to talk like this, wouldn’t it be better to just ask outright if I’m Nickmer?
“Then I found an SNS account… and in its follow list was an Appho account. I dug further and found someone named NicknameMuhum.”
But he continued calmly, his face devoid of even a speck of suspicion, as if this was the most natural thing. At this point, I wasn’t just baffled or incredulous—I was dying to know.
“What’s that ID?”
Where did you find it, and why are you looking for it? My burning curiosity made me ask hastily, but he fell silent. Once again, the sunlight cast a dreamy shadow across his face. After a long pause, his straight, long eyes crinkled.
“My first love.”
Some silences are answers in themselves. For instance, my tightly shut lips were probably screaming, What’s he talking about?
“He was a cruel person. He shook up my young heart and then vanished overnight.”
Reciting a line straight out of a play, he brought his wine glass to his lips. Sitting upright, sipping red wine, he looked impossibly elegant.
“But, well, some people live without ever realizing the impact they have on others… Um… Anyway, it can’t be helped.”
Is he talking about his own face?
“It’s okay. I’ve kept all the letters he wrote to me.”
Just then, the appetizer arrived, pausing his theatrical confession. The server explained the dish’s name, ingredients, and how to eat it, but I barely heard a word. I was too busy figuring out how to make this clueless pretty boy understand the situation.
“Uh…”
I brought a fork to my mouth out of habit but froze. The dish tasted like nothing I’d ever had before. It wasn’t about being good or bad—my palate had no reference for it. I chewed for a while, washed it down with wine, and finally continued.
“I think you’ve got the wrong guy…”
He raised one eyebrow slightly. Really? his expression seemed to say.
“So, like… It’s someone you knew before, right?”
“We never met, but yeah.”
“…An online friend?”
“Something like that. But, hyung, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you only eating the tomato skin and not the bread? Is it not to your taste?”
At his words, I looked at the fork in my hand, which held something small, shriveled, and red. That must be what had been puzzling my taste buds. The plate had neatly arranged bread and jam, too. I’d been eating the garnish tomato skin instead of the actual food.
“…Oh, I was distracted.”
“Distracted?”
“Yeah… That person… isn’t the one you’re looking for. It’s probably just a coincidence that the IDs are similar.”
No matter how I thought about it, that was the only conclusion. The letters and numbers weren’t exactly unique, so it could happen. I worried he might quit Appho if he realized the person he was looking for wasn’t there, but I had to be honest. Even if gaming stress-free was my ultimate goal, I wasn’t about to deceive someone to keep playing.
“Really? I’m certain it’s him.”
Of course, Black Bear didn’t listen. Popping a piece of sliced bread into his mouth, he smirked, looking annoyingly smug.
“…Why?”
“It’s hard to explain. It’s deeply tied to his personal information.”
“You were just talking about digging up his info through Google.”
“Search results are already public information. But to explain why I’m certain, I’d have to reveal personal details I already knew.”
As absurd as it was, he wasn’t wrong. He might seem out of sync sometimes, but he’s no fool.
At this point, I started combing through old memories. An online friend who was a kid’s first love? There’s no way I’d have such a charming past. As a kid, I just browsed blogs. In middle and high school, I was too busy studying to even have a phone. In college, my online activity was limited to gaming communities. No matter how I looked at it, he was barking up the wrong tree… But proving that would mean admitting I’m Nickmer, which felt uneasy.
More importantly, there was something I needed to address first.
“But that person’s a guy, right?”
I tossed it out casually, and Black Bear’s hand froze. The eyes he slowly raised were steady and soft, without a hint of wavering.
“So what?”
I clamped my mouth shut, unable to find a response. Was he just open-minded, or was “first love” something he’d said without much thought?
“I don’t care if he’s a guy or a girl. I don’t plan to meet anyone else but him anyway.”
…His follow-up declaration was almost solemn. My head started to ache. What is going on here…?
“So… You’re saying you seriously want to meet him to date?”
“Yeah.”
“…What if he’s not gay?”
“Obviously, this only applies if he feels the same. If not, I’ll give up.”
Okay, let’s break this down.
Somewhere out there in the world, there’s a person using the same ID as me—deepsea0612—who happens to be this guy’s first love. And he’s absolutely convinced that person is Nickmer. In other words… if I play dumb and admit I’m Nickmer, I might have a chance to date this stunningly handsome guy…
No, what am I even saying? Get a grip. I shook my head lightly and let out a small cough.
“So… you said you started playing Appho because of that person, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Why beat around the bush then? You found his SNS, didn’t you? Why not just contact him there?”
“Of course I tried. He didn’t check it. That’s why I installed the game.”
I almost nodded instinctively, catching myself with an “Oh.” My SNS network is mostly just school friends, and I hadn’t logged in since the Gaius incident.
“More wine?”
He asked, looking at me as I zoned out. My glass was still more than half full. It felt like he was asking to see if I was done, like Is this enough? I just nodded and lowered my gaze.
The solution is simple. When I get home today, I’ll check my SNS, send a message saying I’m not the person he’s looking for, and clear up the misunderstanding. That’ll put an end to it.
But what if Black Bear quits the game because of that?
“…”
…So what? I’ll just play solo like before. We haven’t known each other that long—why am I even worrying about this? I swallowed the bitter feeling along with the rest of my wine.
🕹️
The seemingly endless course meal finally wrapped up, and with a nervous heart, I pulled out my wallet. Black Bear, who’d been getting ready to leave, looked puzzled.
“Why the wallet?”
“…Huh?”
“You don’t tip in Korea, do you?”
He said something incomprehensible, then casually stood and picked up the bill. It felt like a mountain was crashing toward me. I’d only seen him sitting until now, so his long legs, stretching up like bamboo shoots, caught me off guard. How tall is this guy? Before I could process, he strode toward the counter.
“Uh… Wait, hold on. I’ll pay for the meal.”
His legs were so long that a few steps put him far ahead. I hurried after him, reaching for the bill. I have to pay for this. If I do, maybe he’ll keep playing with me even after he gives up on finding Nickmer.
“It’s my pick for the restaurant, so I should pay.”
Standing close, his impressive physique hit me even harder. He easily dodged my hand with a slight lift of his arm, flashing a faint smile.
“No, come on, that’s not how it works. I’ll pay.”
Ignoring my protests, Black Bear reached the counter and handed over the bill. I clenched my fist, ready to shove my card in if needed, but the staff’s polite voice hit me like a slap.
“Lunch course for two, including wine, totaling 256,000 won, has been confirmed. Thank you.”
“Thank you.”
Black Bear returned the greeting nonchalantly, opened the door, and stepped out. I stood there, card in hand, and asked the staff.
“It’s paid? When?”
“Your companion paid in advance when he made the reservation.”
“…”
I hurriedly pushed open the heavy glass door, and a sharp ding rang out. At the same time, Black Bear, standing outside by the restaurant’s fence, turned to look at me. He was dressed simply in a white short-sleeve shirt, straight jeans, and sneakers. Even in such an ordinary outfit, his presence demanded attention. Of course it did. With that face, that height, those shoulders, he’d look haute couture in a sack.
Already, eyes were starting to gather. I quickly urged him to move, whispering urgently.
“Give me your account number, and I’ll send you the money. At least for my share.”
As our shoulders drew close, I got a sense of his height. He’s at least 185 cm. I know because I’m 177 cm but always claim 180.
“It’s fine. I’m paying to apologize for breaking our last promise, so don’t worry about it.”
“No… It’s too expensive for that.”
“You were about to pay for something this pricey without doing anything wrong, weren’t you?”
“…”
Is it just me, or does he only get eloquent when it suits him? I wanted to clutch my head as I furrowed my brow, but he suddenly stopped walking.
“Where should we go now?”
His smiling face, looking down at me, was dazzling. That’s when I remembered why we were meeting in the first place.
“Oh… Hold on. Let me check for a nearby PC bang.”
“Okay.”
Leaving him standing there with a bright smile, I pulled out my phone. PC bangs are pretty much the same these days, so finding one affiliated with Appho would do.
I overlooked a few things. PC bangs are usually in areas with lots of schools, it’s the weekend, and the weather is gorgeous.
“The only seats available together right now are the couple seats. Is that okay?”
And on a nice day like this, the places kids flock to for fun are limited.
“…It’s… fine, I guess.”
“Then please use the kiosk back there to select your seats and pay.”
I checked the screen, and while there were some empty seats, they were all single spots scattered apart. We came to the PC bang to play together, so sitting separately would defeat the purpose. I tapped the couple seat in the corner and turned to Black Bear.
“This one has the monitor and chairs right next to each other. Is that okay?”
“Really? Isn’t that better?”
Well, sure, but… After hesitating, I just hit pay. Other PC bangs would probably be just as crowded.
It was an uneasy choice, but it turned out fine. For one, I could tuck Black Bear into the corner, shielding him from others’ stares. As soon as we sat, I launched Appho and glanced at his screen. He was carefully typing on the keyboard.
[darkbear]
“…That’s your ID?”
“Huh? Yeah.”
I asked without thinking, and he answered, sounding a bit dazed. An ID like darkbear? That’s not just an early account—it’s the kind of rare ID you’d need to frantically snag the moment the server opened. Sure, dark bears are considered weak now, but back when the server launched, no one knew that.
And yet, his nickname isn’t BlackBear or DarkGom—it’s Kkamamgom? The more I learn about this guy, the weirder he gets.
“What’s your ID, hyung?”
Out of nowhere, he leaned toward me. I quickly hit enter and pretended not to hear. Obviously, my game account ID is also deepsea0612.
“Want something to drink? The drinks here are good.”
“You’ve been here before?”
“…”
“…”
“PC bang drinks are all the same, you know…”
I mumbled, my voice trailing off, and a light, refreshing laugh burst out near my ear. I turned to see him squinting, showing his teeth as he smiled.
“Sorry.”
He didn’t look sorry at all, which was honestly kind of infuriating…
“I already thought you were a good person, but meeting you in person makes me like you even more.”
…He really has a knack for making my heart skip a beat.
“Got it… But don’t get too close.”
With the monitors right next to each other, he was leaning so close I could feel his breath on my cheek. I leaned back, scolding him, and he gave me a puzzled look.
“The seats are close; I can’t help it.”
“Still, try to keep some distance. My heart’s pounding, and it’s tough.”
The more serious the truth, the more casually you should say it to keep the vibe warm. He hummed, propping his chin on one hand.
“You’re teasing me, right?”
“Caught me. Sorry.”
I brushed it off casually, but a stranger appeared over the partition. A flustered part-timer was holding an iced Americano in each hand.
“Uh… These are on the house.”
He set the cups down, unable to tear his eyes away from Black Bear’s face. Iced Americanos, not even instant coffee, as a freebie? At a place we’d never been to, without ordering anything?
“Have a great time…”
The part-timer scurried off, and I grabbed Black Bear’s cup. Turning the paper holder, I saw, as expected, a short note with a phone number.
[First time doing this, but I got the courage ㅜㅜ If you don’t have a girlfriend!! Please call ♥]
The counter was clearly manned by the owner, so where did they even get the chance to slip this in between paying and reaching our seats? I chuckled and handed the cup to Black Bear, who shook his head.
“I’ll drink it later.”
“No, look at it. There’s a note.”
“A note?”
He stared at the holder I pointed to, tilting his head.
“Does this mean they want to date me?”
“Probably.”
“That’s weird. They don’t know anything about me.”
His flat, cold response didn’t seem malicious—just genuine confusion about why someone would do this.
“Well, I keep telling you to look in a mirror…”
“If it’s just based on looks, that’s even weirder. I’d have given it to you, hyung.”
“…”
In a way, he might be right. If I were with him, I’d probably pick myself too. Seems like a better bet.
“But how did you know there was a note, hyung?”
I laughed at the silly thought, but he asked sharply. How did I know? Well… I’ve been through it a few times myself. Especially when I was deep into raids, it happened a lot.
Getting freebies just for me, or someone chasing me down as I left… The problem was, it usually happened when (former) guildmates were around. Getting that kind of attention when you’re hanging out with a group makes things awkward.
If Black Bear had been there, I’d have been fine. He seems like he wouldn’t care about others’ snide remarks.
“How? I just saw it.”
“Hmm…”
“Log in already.”
“Okay.”
His long fingers hit enter, and the screen switched to a swaying dark bear. Seeing the screen filled with untouched default icons made me sigh.
“Lock the important hotkeys and hide the rest—it makes things easier. Helps you focus during combat.”
“How do I do that?”
“Open the HUD settings… Hold on. I’ll copy a macro for you.”
I copied a macro I’d set up and sent it via Discord chat. It’s my secret weapon, one that stayed on Appho’s community best-tips list for a month. JangDdo grumbled that I should’ve shared it only with guildmates…
“Now, press the hotkey, and it’ll switch to a combat-optimized screen.”
“Oh.”
He followed my instructions and let out a short exclamation.
“It’s really easier to see now.”
“I’ll make you a motion window for your frequently used ones. Give me a sec.”
I reached over, grabbing his keyboard and mouse. Black Bear leaned back slightly to give me space, chuckling softly.
“You don’t have to keep your distance, hyung?”
“What, is your heart pounding too?”
“A little.”
I glanced over, and his handsome face was grinning. I let out an exaggerated sigh and started picking icons.
“What order do you want the motions in?”
“First… ‘Like.’”
“Keep going.”
“‘Confess,’ ‘Big Heart,’ ‘Small Heart,’ ‘Hand Heart,’ ‘Hug,’ ‘Heart Together.’”
“…”
“And last, ‘I Love You.’”
Did he have to say it in that low voice? I added them in order without complaint. He looked at the convenient motion window I’d made and let out another exclamation.
“It doesn’t even feel like the same game.”
“The settings themselves are easy. It’s about how cleanly you arrange them.”
“You came up with all this?”
“Well… Not all of it, but…”
I almost bragged but swallowed it. The HUD setup tips I’d posted as Nickmer are probably still on the community. I coughed and changed the subject.
“Since we’re at a PC bang, wanna do some leveling? It’ll help with divinity too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s an affiliated location… You get an EXP bonus for playing here.”
“Nice. Where should we go?”
To raise tiers, you need to level your character, and to level your character, you need Appho’s EXP—divinity. Both Black Bear and I were stuck on tier-ups due to low divinity.
The standard way to grind EXP is to run dungeons slightly above your party’s level. I sent Black Bear a party invite and scrolled through the dungeon list.
“How about the Seabed…?”
The Seabed City is a dungeon not far from Riolea. It’s trickier than the places we’ve been to, with more complex mechanics, but since we’re sitting side by side, it seemed doable.
“This one might be a bit tough to clear, but if we do, we’ll get a lot of divinity. Let’s take it slow.”
“Okay.”
There was one issue. The Seabed City is, as the name suggests, underwater, so you need a mount that can dive. Normally, progressing through the story gives you a single-seat water snake, but since we were heading straight to the dungeon, I opened the cash shop.
Without hesitation, I pulled up the two-seat diving mount, the whale shark, but then I paused. Which color? The default is the prettiest, but the white one’s mystical and not bad either…
“You’re buying that?”
Black Bear, watching me, asked with a hint of curiosity.
“Yeah. We need it for the Seabed dungeon.”
“Does it have to be yours?”
“Huh?”
“I have one.”
…Why do you have that? I stared, dumbfounded, as he opened his mount window. My jaw dropped. It wasn’t just the default story mounts—his list was packed with dungeon rewards and cash items. Does he have every mount in existence?
“…”
My frozen brain started racing.
“Are you an Appho developer or something?”
It wasn’t serious, but Black Bear just shrugged, looking confused. I propped my chin, sinking back into thought. His account is so buggy, nothing would surprise me, but there’s new info today: his game ID is darkbear.
Normally, that’s an ID only developers or GMs would use. Could it be an error from that? He said he logged in and found a character already there. Maybe the devs thought darkbear was a GM ID and copied GM data onto it…?
…It sounds far-fetched, but I think it’s possible. Knowing this game’s devs, they’d mess up like that.
“But… with all these mounts, why were you just running everywhere?”
“What’s a mount?”
“…What? It’s like a car in the game. Ride it, and you go faster.”
“Really? That’s cool. I was wondering why I had so many animals.”
His casual response left me speechless. Rubbing my throbbing head, I pointed at his screen.
“Summon the whale shark. We’ll ride that.”
“How do I summon it?”
“Right-click and select ‘Summon.’”
With a click, a mint-colored whale shark appeared. Mint? If I remember right, that was a reward given only to players who cleared the Seabed City during the beta. I was practically drooling with envy. Limited-time rewards are pure evil—they leave latecomers like me high and dry.
“Get on.”
I accepted his invite, and with a boing, Black Bear’s character and mine hopped onto the mount, facing each other cozily. …I forgot. Since we’re married in-game, riding a mount together comes with cringey animations.
“The color’s so pretty…”
I muttered to cover my embarrassment, and he smiled faintly.
“Want it, hyung?”
“I’d love to take it, but mounts aren’t tradeable.”
“If they ever become tradeable, I’ll give you all the ones you want.”
Sure, but they’re not. I snorted, but my eyes instinctively scanned his mount list. That’s when a slightly mischievous question popped into my head.
“But is it okay to give me all the good stuff?”
“Huh?”
“You said you want to win Nickmer’s favor. Wouldn’t it be better to save it for him?”
I swear, I had no ulterior motive. His sudden bursts of straightforward kindness were just cute and puzzling. I expected him to laugh, maybe say he hadn’t thought of that. But instead, he stared at me and murmured, almost like he was reciting something.
“Does he like this kind of stuff too?”
Black Bear tilted his head slightly, his gaze fixed on me. His glossy black hair fell softly across his smooth forehead.
“…Well, I mean… Who doesn’t like limited items…?”
“Hmm…”
His long, drawn-out hum sounded oddly teasing. Just as I was awkwardly looking away, he lifted the corner of his mouth.