LCL 12

The thought of hanging out in the evening made the day seem longer than usual. I barely made it through the last lecture and went downstairs with my classmates. The seniors were gathered in the first-floor lobby, probably because they had a major class as well.

Among them, Senior Seong-hong stood out. He just had a loud voice. He was with a couple of other student council members. When my classmates, who were familiar with him, greeted him, he lazily waved his hand in response and got straight to the point.

“Where’s Lim Dae-han?”

“He’s probably on his way down, he was with us when we came out earlier.”

“Ah, okay.”

Senior Seong-hong replied indifferently.

“He is always looking for Lim Dae-han.”

Park In-gong grumbled quietly enough for only me to hear. Well, I somewhat agreed. What was so great about Lim Dae-han?

Of course I like him, I’m his boyfriend…. But I didn’t understand why the seniors were always looking for him.

“That guy didn’t run off, did he? He didn’t want to drink.”

“Dude, he’ll come when he wants. He wouldn’t just ghost us without a word.”

Like a loan shark looking for a debtor, he chewed his lip as he inquired about Lim Dae-han’s whereabouts. After a moment of silence, he waved his hand to my classmates. “Okay, thanks for the greeting, but you can go now.” That was the gist of it.

We had already met the seniors, and our time with our classmates was more precious, so we just kept walking. The senior’s anxious face brightened up quickly. What a rollercoaster. It must be tough for him too.

“Hey, Lim Dae-han!”

Lim Dae-han was just nonchalantly coming down the central staircase. He didn’t look like he was planning to run away. He was his usual self. I busily glanced around, tucked between my classmates.

Next to Lim Dae-han was Senior Hyuna. She wore a short skirt that came to mid-thigh today. It wasn’t much different from her usual outfit, which she always wore lightly.

“How many people are you going to gather?”

The other senior next to Seong-hong asked. They were already preparing to drink even though the sun hadn’t set yet. But then again… we were no different, so I couldn’t say much.

The original goal was to drink, so we had no plans to spend time at a café. We didn’t need to wait for anyone either.

“A senior recommended this place and said I should try the stir-fried pork and rice ball set. They say it’s really good when you eat it all and grind the rice.”

“Are we going to eat or drink?”

While listening to my classmates’ conversation, my gaze was fixed on Lim Dae-han. He blended in seamlessly with the seniors.

He stood out among the seniors. He stood still, regardless of what they were saying and then turned his head.

“…”

“…”

Our eyes met. I nodded slightly as a greeting and then hardened my expression.

Again, again, again…! The moment our eyes met, Lim Dae-han winked at me, as if it was some kind of love signal. He always did this whenever we made eye contact.

What if someone sees…. I looked around in surprise, but luckily no one saw me. With a sigh of relief, I sighed in relief and closed my eyes deeply before opening them.

Winking seemed too dangerous. I should tell him to stop. He’s changed a lot. He used to turn beet red and avoid me whenever we made eye contact, but now he winks at every opportunity.

I quickly turned my gaze away and then slyly looked back. Lim Dae-han was nodding along to the seniors’ conversation as if nothing had happened. He looked so nonchalant that it made me feel uneasy.

I wondered if Lim Dae-han even realized. Probably not.

***

We went to different bars but kept exchanging messages from time to time.

I sent Lim Dae-han photos of the sausage appetizer, spicy pork wrapped in rice balls, and kimchi udon with cheap fish cakes floating in it.

Dae-han didn’t seem to have time to take pictures, so he sent an emoji instead. It was a puzzling emoji of a mane-less lion doing jazz hands. He used it frequently, even though it didn’t really fit. I often sent him emoji gifts, but the ones he actually used were always the same.

By the way, is that a bear or a lion? I still can’t tell after years. I sent a reply to Dae-han.

Me: [See you later haha]

I put down my phone and stretched my back. I scanned the dim interior. It was a bar decorated to look just like a traditional Korean tavern.

I haven’t been to many bars, but the ones near school always smelled fishy. Especially when the interior was dark. It seemed like they didn’t ventilate properly.

When there were many of us together, we used to play drinking games, but not today. Everyone seemed to have finally realized how clichéd and disruptive those games could be.

Instead, we pushed two tables together. There were eight of us, including me, and we kept filling and downing drinks nonstop in a cycle of chanting “Pour, drink, drink, pour.”

We seated the newly formed couple in the center. To be honest, I’d suspected this would happen ever since I saw them hanging around together at the entrance ceremony. Sure enough, they started dating, much to everyone else’s shock. Except me. I’d already known. Idiots.

“We never thought you two would date.”

“See? Even people who don’t seem close end up secretly chatting behind the scenes!”

They’d been dating for about a week, but both were so shy. Even in a group where people were friendly with both genders, they kept to themselves. The guy never talked to the girls, and the girl didn’t talk to the guys. Yet somehow, they always stuck together in the group.

Why didn’t the others notice? Was I actually good at picking up on things? I silently praised myself as I watched them.

“Who confessed first?”

Since the economics department was so large, people often graduated without even knowing each other’s names, let alone realizing they were in the same department. But because this couple came from the same class and hung out in the same group, their relationship became quite the hot topic.

Questions ranged from “Who confessed first?” to “Do you know this person?” to teasing ones like “Have you kissed yet?”

Come to think of it, it’s a bit enviable. Lim Dae-han and I would never receive such questions. I tried to hide my emotions as I drank.

With alcohol loosening everyone up, jokes and laughter filled the air. Park In-gong, drinking alone in the corner, had a bitter expression that was somehow unpleasant to see.

“Park In-gong.”

I called out to him. Park In-gong was, well, it’s not nice to say about a friend, but he was pathetic. He’d gotten into a campus couple relationship before the semester even started, only to break up less than a week after classes began.

Poor guy. To make it worse, his ex was now dating a senior from the athletic department with a great body. I hadn’t seen the guy myself, but I’d heard about him from her. Naturally, she wasn’t here tonight. Thankfully, they were in different classes.

“Can’t the couples just leave?”

He tried to act tough, but no one was listening. Poor guy. I filled In-gong’s glass with soju. He dramatically pretended to cry and hugged me.

“Younghyun, you’re all I have. Can’t you break up with your lover? Let’s pledge eternal friendship and stay single together. Let’s live as lifelong bachelors.”

What nonsense. Besides, I’ve only known In-gong for a month. We weren’t close enough for talks of eternal friendship.

I quietly averted my gaze. I made eye contact with the others and gently pushed In-gong away. He let himself be pushed, then raised his voice.

“Hey, you coward!”

Sorry, In-gong. Love is more important to me.

“You guys all look down on me too much. How can someone without a girlfriend live without feeling miserable?”

In-gong, who was already drunk, had somehow taken the center seat at the table. Unable to calm his frustration about being single, he complained to his classmates. Occasionally, when his emotions ran high, he would bang his fist on the table.

Why is he going on about being single when we’ve only been in college for a month? He’s a weird guy anyway. The classmates all just took it in stride. They had gotten used to it in the past month.

‘Why is he such a troublemaker when he looks decent?’

I remembered an evaluation one of the classmates had made about In-gong right in front of him. It was an accurate assessment of In-gong. In-gong did look decent.

He had a likable appearance and made a good first impression. They said his name was the first to come up among the girls when there was a group blind date. But he was only decent in appearance and a troublemaker in essence.

“I’ve never been disrespected anywhere else. I was consistently in the top 5 of the entire school.”

In-gong raised his voice, feeling wronged. Everyone chuckled as if they couldn’t believe what they were hearing. How many people here weren’t like that? A classmate sitting across from In-gong tilted his glass.

“If it were Korea University, you would have said you were first. Why bother mentioning fifth place?”

“Hey, Park In-gong. I was always first in the entire school. Want to fight about it?”

It was a university where, even though we didn’t make it to Korea University, only good students gathered. In-gong cowered, saying “Eek.” He had a loud voice and was quick-tempered, easily getting worked up, but he also backed down just as quickly.

I awkwardly smiled and took out my phone. Above the class group chat messages from before class, there was a message from Lim Dae-han.

He sent a picture of a half-eaten dish on an empty table, with no seniors in sight as if they had all gone out to smoke.  It looked like a strange stew, hastily thrown together. Maybe he felt bad that I was the only one who had sent a food photo earlier.

I picked at the complimentary sweet and sour chicken. True to being a cheap bar near the university, it tasted more of flour than meat. Checking my surroundings, I sent a reply.

Me: [What’s that? haha]

Dae-han: [Some kind of stew the seniors ordered so I don’t know]

Me: [How does it taste?]

Dae-han: [It’s good]

Me: [Is there anything you don’t find tasty?]

Dae-han: [lolol]

Although he said it was good, I knew Lim Dae-han disliked cheap student pubs. He seemed to prefer eating at proper restaurants while having drinks. I figured this preference came from his rough-around-the-edges high school days, though I avoided bringing it up since it annoyed him.

On the contrary, I… don’t have any particular thoughts. I had never been to a bar as a student and had no intention of going, so it was still fun for me. I liked adding water to stews to keep them going, and even this flour-heavy complimentary sweet and sour chicken was good.

When I teased Dae-han, saying it was because he went to these places a lot in high school, he would change the subject. Then he would move whatever food was available onto my plate.

Dae-han: [I’ll be there soon]

I missed the timing to reply, but another message came from Dae-han. I wondered if the seniors would let Dae-han leave early, but knowing how good he was at improvising, he might have set the stage from the beginning.

I wondered whether I should head home first or stay here until he arrived. Just as I was about to ask, Ji-yoon, one of the girls sitting nearby, picked up a call.

“Oh, Lim Dae-han!”

Ji-yoon was the closest female classmate to Lim Dae-han. Naturally, everyone turned their attention toward her. She continued talking while sipping her beer.

“Aren’t you drinking with the seniors right now? Oh, we’re just hanging out here, just the classmates. What? What do you mean you’re being left out? Don’t be ridiculous, you idiot.”

It seems Dae-han was saying to Ji-yoon what he had said to me. Asking why they were leaving only him out. I found it funny imagining Dae-han grumbling to Ji-yoon while walking down the night street.

It’s not like he’s serious anyway. Saying he’s not the type to be left out. I couldn’t help but giggle, which made Park In-gong narrow his eyes.

“Tell Lim Dae-han not to come.”

It’s a noisy bar where even the loudest voices wouldn’t be heard at the next table. With the alcohol in his system, Park In-gong had gained courage. He voiced what he would normally have just mouthed, threatening Ji-yoon. But unfortunately, the classmates who hadn’t become close with Dae-han urged him to come over.

“Hey, want to come here instead? Yeah, there are a lot of people, but it’s fine. Yeah. Oh, we’re at Yangdong Tavern. Okay, just come straight in when you get here. Bye!”

After finishing the call, Ji-yoon told us to make room. Since he was such a big guy, we had to clear an entire seat for him. Lim Dae-han ended up having to sit near my seat. That’s because Park In-gong had moved to the center, leaving only the corner seat near me.

Looks like he’ll be sitting next to me. I puffed out my cheeks and looked around. I even set up separate chopsticks and a plate. I don’t know why I’m nervous, but I rubbed my dry palms together.

The phone I had placed on the table lit up. It was a call from Lim Dae-han.

Hmm. I let out an inner exclamation and stood up. I left the bar under the pretense of going to the bathroom. I walked down a short hallway and stood in the stairway opposite the elevator.

The lighting, which looked like it had never even attempted to be cleaned, was full of dead insects. The dim light seemed like it could go out at any moment. I came out to the stairway and looked out the window. It’s a dazzling night. As soon as I answered the phone, I asked:

“Yeah, where are you?”

– I’m nearby, just stopped at a convenience store. How many people are there?

I tried to recall the table. Four people sat at each table, and the seat near me was empty. So in total…

“There’ll be nine including you.”

– That’s a lot. We could even play soccer.

I laughed softly at Dae-han’s joke. Hehe, at my childish laugh, he gave me a playful jab.

– Have you drunk a lot?

“N-no. Maybe three shots of soju.”

– What about hangover remedy?

“I’ll be fine today. I don’t think I’ll drink that much anyway.”

– Okay. …A bag, please. Wait a moment. I’ll be there soon.

“I’m in the stairway opposite the elevator.”

– Okay, I’m coming.

After the short call, I waited for Lim Dae-han. Feeling bored, I went up to the next floor. I leaned on the stair railing. Looking out the window, I saw Dae-han coming out of the convenience store across the street.

He was carrying a heavy bag in his hand. After briefly looking around and confirming no cars were coming, he crossed the street with long strides. He came straight into the building. After waiting for a bit, the stairway door opened.

“Ki Young-hyun.”