LCL 28

I ended the call that was too heavily weighted on one side to be a normal sibling conversation. Suddenly, I became busy. I needed to pack my things from the reading room and decide on a meeting place with my brother.

By the way, I won’t be able to give the drink directly. I should leave it in Lim Dae-han’s locker before I go. Thinking of sending a message in advance, I took out my phone. I entered the messenger and pressed the keypad.

My brother asked to have dinner, so I think I have to go first. I left the drink in your locker, so make sure to…

My hurriedly typing hand paused.

Wait… ‘honey’?

‘Alright. I’m leaving soon, so be ready. ‘Honey’ says he’ll come straight there after work.’

I recalled what my brother said before hanging up. Who does ‘honey’ refer to here? I didn’t think much of it, assuming he meant himself or me, but looking back, there was no one who would be getting off work. My brother is still a university student, and so am I.

Among the people we’re meeting today, only Ye-jun hyung would be coming back from work. Don’t tell me he calls Ye-jun hyung ‘honey’?

“Ah, seriously…”

Ugh. I barely held back the urge to retch. Trying to calm my queasy stomach, I went downstairs. There were more urgent matters than dwelling on my brother’s cringe-worthy pet name.

I finished typing the message and sent it to Lim Dae-han. I added a request for him to contact me when he’s done, after the message I had drafted earlier.

My shoulders felt heavy after packing all my things. This is why I didn’t want to go home alone. I left the reading room and went to the department lockers. Lim Dae-han’s personal locker would be empty. At most, there might be one or two clear files in it. I grabbed the locker handle.

Come to think of it, do Lim Dae-han and I have pet names for each other? I don’t think so. Pet names like ‘honey’ or ‘babe’ are embarrassing. Even the most basic pet names are embarrassing, let alone the cheesy ones.

“Young-hyun.”

There weren’t many people I’d run into at this hour. The major classes had long since ended. If someone who knows us saw me trying to open Lim Dae-han’s locker, they’d find it suspicious.

What reason would I have to open the locker of a classmate I’m not even close to? Startled, I turned my head towards the voice.

Ah, Senior Hyuna… I bowed my head to the senior who had come close and took a step back from the locker.

“…Hello.”

“Hi, this is the first time we’ve greeted each other since coming back from the MT.”

There hadn’t been many chances to run into each other since we had midterms soon after returning from the MT. We just took the exams and quickly left. I awkwardly smiled at the senior. I opened my locker door across from her.

I put the drink I was going to give to Lim Dae-han in my locker. I couldn’t open Lim Dae-han’s locker in front of the senior. It wouldn’t be a problem anyway since I could just send a correction text.

By the way, the senior was holding heavy plastic bags in both hands. The bags with the convenience store logo looked so heavy that the handles were stretched long.

“Isn’t it heavy?”

“It’s a bit heavy, but it’s fine.”

No matter how weak I am, I could at least carry this much. There was still some time left until my brother arrived.

“Let me help you. Where are you going?”

“Oh, would you? Thanks. I was just about to go to the sports field. I’m taking these to the soccer club. I thought I could manage alone, but it is a bit heavy. This one is enough.”

“No, let me carry both.”

The senior only handed me one bag, but I used both hands to take both bags. It’s beyond just heavy, it’s outright heavy. If it’s heavy for me as a guy, I wonder how the senior managed to carry this alone.

The soccer club is too much. Even if the senior said she’d go alone, how could they just let her? And why is the senior doing this anyway?

Since I didn’t have any particular personal interactions with the senior, there wasn’t much to talk about. As we walked together, I glanced at the senior. She was small and petite. Even wearing high sneakers, she was shorter than me. She was considerably shorter than my height, which isn’t particularly tall.

If there’s this much difference with me, it must be even more with Lim Dae-han. Some people said they looked good together because of the size difference. Would anyone say that if I stood next to Lim Dae-han? Probably not.

“Why are you bringing this, senior?”

“I’m the manager.”

“Ah…”

“I just started recently. I often received offers but declined, and this time I said I’d give it a try. Originally, I wasn’t even interested in this kind of thing.”

The senior replied with a smile. Despite being part of the student council and likely having some interest in department activities, she was very modest.

“Just a moment.”

The senior stopped me. She rummaged through the bag I was holding and took out a 500ml sports drink. I also peeked inside. Everything else was 1.5 liters, but only the one in the senior’s hand was smaller.

The color stood out too. Purple among the blue ones.

The senior gripped the bottle with both hands.

“This is for Dae-han.”

“Ah.”

In my locker, there was also a drink losing its coolness, waiting for him. The price difference probably isn’t much, but somehow it felt shabby. I bought it to give to Lim Dae-han too.

Although it’s smaller than that one. I, like the drink stuffed in the locker, slowly cooled down. The senior turned her head towards me. Her eyes seemed to have something to say, but we just walked in silence.

If one asked if I felt bad, I wouldn’t say so. The senior is the soccer club manager… she’s just doing her job. I deliberately acted oblivious.

In truth, I know that Senior Hyuna likes Lim Dae-han. But I just kept walking as if nothing was wrong. What could I say?

The senior, who had been walking silently, suddenly called out to me.

“Young-hyun.”

“Yes?”

“Actually, I was really disappointed in Dae-han during the MT.”

I turned to look at the senior at this sudden mention of the MT. I couldn’t read the senior’s expression. But I know that’s a lie. Someone who’s disappointed wouldn’t prepare a separate drink for him.

“……”

Instead of answering, I swallowed dryly. My mouth felt dry and I was thirsty. I had just finished a whole can of orange juice a few minutes ago. Thirst rather than the need to urinate?

“It’s strange for him to do such a thing when he has a girlfriend.”

“…But Lim Dae-han said he didn’t do it.”

“Everyone’s keeping quiet about it, but there’s no way it’s just a baseless rumor. He wouldn’t have put on lipstick by himself. A guy wouldn’t, right?”

Though it wasn’t intentional, the guy who had worn lipstick felt uncomfortable. I regret that night. I should have at least wiped my lips. Lim Dae-han was going through unnecessary trials because of me.

“Is that so?”

Having nothing to say, I asked back while glancing sideways. I observed the senior’s expression.

Her jaw was tense. The senior said she was disappointed in Lim Dae-han, so why does she look so happy? Why. Instead of criticizing Lim Dae-han for being intimate with someone else while having a girlfriend…

“I thought he and his girlfriend were getting along really well. But well… they’re all the same.”

The senior trailed off. Lim Dae-han always put me first, but he was being evaluated like this behind his back. It made me uncomfortable.

Feeling like I might frown, I bit my lip. A muggy wind blew, unusual for spring. It was already humid.

Why does Lim Dae-han act like nothing’s wrong?

He knew about the rumors about him but showed no signs of discomfort. That’s because, except for the mischievous student council seniors, no one directly asked him about it, and some others were using it to praise him.

He hailed the one who kissed someone else while having a partner as a great hero.

But knowing the identity of the kiss target and the girlfriend he often mentioned, I was seized by an even greater sense of guilt. If only the seniors hadn’t been in another room that day, if the night air hadn’t been too sweet, if Lim Dae-han hadn’t cornered me and smiled like a mischievous child. We could have been living normally without these dirty rumors.

“Ah…”

I acted stupidly, not knowing how to react. Lost in complex thoughts, I found myself at the playground. I had intended to take it to the stairs surrounding the field, but the senior reached out first.

“Give it to me now. I’ll take it.”

“Ah, no. It’s heavy, so I’ll just…”

“No. Give it to me.”

Somehow, the senior’s words seemed firm, making it difficult to refuse. I was just trying to help. In the end, I handed over what I was holding. Our eyes met as the senior took the bag. I licked my lips.

“Still, his girlfriend will like it a lot.”

The senior laughed softly at my words.

“Would someone like that kiss another person at an MT?”

“……”

“I should go. Young-hyun, thanks. Let’s have a meal sometime.”

I missed the timing to say goodbye. The senior didn’t seem to expect a farewell from me either, hurrying towards the center of the playground.

Watching the small, slender figure from behind, I clenched and unclenched my fist. I lowered my gaze to my palm. My palms were pale and trembling, perhaps from the weight. Why am I like this just from carrying something?

Someday, I’ll have to tell Lim Dae-han. These feelings I’m experiencing now. Will I be able to express it properly? As I was immersed in these complex thoughts, a small vibration came from my pocket.

I took out my phone. It was my brother, as expected.

“Yes, hyung. Have you arrived?”

-Yeah, I’m at the main gate. Where should I go?

“I’ll come to the main gate. I’m already outside, so it’ll take about… 2 minutes.”

-Come quickly. Traffic will get heavy soon.

It only takes 2 minutes, why rush? I hurried my steps while receiving this half-hearted scolding. Even as I walked, I looked back several times.

The senior who had been walking towards the playground had already disappeared. I wonder if she’s given Lim Dae-han the drink by now?

I poked out my lower lip and scratched my head. Ah… I don’t know either. For now. For now, I left a message for Lim Dae-han.

Me: [I just put the drink in my locker. When you have time, take it and drink it]

It must be a popular restaurant. The Korean barbecue place with narrow table spacing was very crowded. Despite several ventilation fans and smoke extractors above the grills working hard, the interior was hazy with smoke. My eyes stung, making me blink several times.

“……”

“……”

While everyone else was noisy, our table alone was quiet. My brother silently placed meat on the grill. Sizzle… With the cooking meat between us, we didn’t say a word.

My brother, seemingly disliking the smoke, waved the tongs in front of him. Like a conductor. A bad-tempered conductor. A glass of beer sat in front of me.

My brother said he wouldn’t drink because he drove here. Whatever. I had nothing particular to say, and the meat was far from ready. I drank the flat beer just to wet my mouth. A poisonous glare poured down.

“You’ve gone wild since turning twenty?”

“…You ordered it for me.”

Silence fell again after that. We were never close brothers to begin with. It’s not that we’ve never eaten out together like this, but each time, nagging and verbal abuse dominated over friendly conversation.

Why do I have to endure insults even when he’s buying me a meal?

I picked at the side dishes while watching his mood. My phone on the round table vibrated. Yes! At least I can distract myself for a moment. The message was from Lim Dae-han. His reply was later than expected.