LCL 35

Numerous memories flashed by like a kaleidoscope. There was no need to think about what we did. I shut my eyes tightly.

Honestly, we did so many things that it’s hard to recall each one. We held hands and let go, played strange games, and very rarely, very rarely, we kissed.

Sometimes Lim Dae-han approached first to kiss, and sometimes I did it first.

Even in high school, we often stuck together in places where students didn’t come often, so I thought university would be the same. However, there was one fact I overlooked.

Unlike high school, university came with great freedom. No one said anything no matter where we went, whether we skipped classes or not, whether we did assignments or not.

I must have been crazy, really. If the man hadn’t been there, I would have stomped the ground and tilted my head back, making a crying face towards the sky. But I tried my best to act as if nothing was wrong.

“I… don’t really know what you’re talking about.”

“Why kiss there?”

“……”

He really saw. An unnecessary word was added. Fire flashed in my eyes.

“Do you have proof that I did it?”

My determination to act calm didn’t last even 30 seconds. When I burst out angrily, the man held back his laughter. I was caught. Damn…

In the end, I glared at the man with strength in my eyes. My nose bridge twitched, and I finally frowned so much that wrinkles formed. But my heart was just anxious and uneasy.

Lim Dae-han, our school life is ruined.

While we were having a silent battle of nerves, a vibration rang in my hand. I just lowered my gaze to check the phone I was gripping tightly.

<Lim Dae-han>

With those three characters, my heart felt like it dropped. I stared blankly at the phone, then raised my head towards the man. He pulled his chin in. It meant for me to answer.

“Yeah… why?”

-I was wondering where you were in the central library.

“Let’s text.”

-I want to hear your voice too.

We’re going to meet soon anyway. His gruff voice sounded particularly unkind today.

Sweat gathered in my palm. I swallowed hard once more. I barely managed to compose my voice.

“Yeah, I was in the media room. I’m just in front now… by the flower bed.”

-I’ll buy something to drink and come that way. Wait in front.

I continued the conversation while being cautious. I should avoid Lim Dae-han and Moon Ji-woo meeting as much as possible. Honestly, Lim Dae-han has a nasty temper.

He’s the kind of guy who kicks his boyfriend’s chair, so I don’t think he’ll quietly let it go just because this person is a senior. Especially since he’s not even from our department, and moreover, he knows about our relationship.

After ending the call smoothly, I glanced at the man. He was grinning as if something was so funny. I alternately looked at the phone in my hand and the man.

Can a phone be a weapon? Would I get arrested if I smash his head with this? I averted my gaze from the crazy thoughts that came to mind. This man wasn’t even my brother, and I didn’t have the courage to hit others.

Whew. Instead, I swallowed a sigh. My Adam’s apple bobbed. By this time, I missed the timing to deny it further. Finally, I asked the man.

“Are you… going to meet him?”

“I have enough sense not to. He looks scary, doesn’t he?”

Moon Jiwoo clearly knows about Lim Dae-han’s existence too. On the other hand, I felt a bit wronged. Is Dae-han too scary to approach, but I’m okay?

No, even if I look easy-going, that’s not fair. Feeling indignant again, I snapped at the man.

“So you’re only doing this to me? Why are you being so petty?”

“Never mind that, let me see your phone.”

“Why?”

I questioned him sharply. He urged me, extending his hand. Hurry up. Warily, I handed him my phone, holding onto the top in case he might run off with it.

“What are you doing?”

“Are you afraid I’ll run away with your phone?”

“What?”

The man looked at me with a bewildered expression, then entered the call screen, dialed a number, and made a call. Soon, a ringtone sounded from his side.

“This is my number. Save it. I’ll contact you.”

I got my phone back. I had no intention of saving the number. The man standing face to face with me was maybe 5 cm taller than me at most. Barely 180 cm, if that. We stared at each other silently.

“Hmm…”

The man drew out his voice. Then, muttering to himself, “No,” he raised his hand.

“See you next time.”

I don’t know why he took my number. What if he tries to blackmail me for money…

Should I discuss this with Dae-han in advance, or should I report it to the police out of preemptive fear?

I got lost in thought while scratching a hangnail on my lip. A long string of questions followed without any clear solution. I crossed my arms, then rested my arms on the desk and propped my chin.

There’s no answer. No answer.

Bang! Just then, a sharp sound erupted from across. Startled out of my cave of idle thoughts, I shifted my gaze to where the sound came from.

“……”

Lim Dae-han was looking at me, his body deeply buried in the chair. The source of the explosion-like sound was his fingertips.

A finger snap, making a sound by colliding his thumb and middle finger. After looking at his rough fingertips, I raised my head, and Dae-han picked a fight.

“Why are you spacing out?”

“No, …I just had something to think about.”

“You haven’t even opened your textbook.”

Looking around, I saw that the other group members, except Dae-han, were also staring at me. The round table made it easy for our gazes to meet.

“Ah… Sorry.”

I sighed and flipped open the textbook. What page was it…

“Give it here.”

Dae-han took my textbook and opened it for me. I lowered my head deeply, fiddling with the corner of the book. Whether my crown was visible or not, I buried my nose in the textbook and read through the text.

I was reading the words, but not understanding them. Surely no one would think we’re dating because of this? The group members wouldn’t think anything of it, right? Why on earth did we kiss at school? Would it kill us not to be together for a moment?

We live together, so we could see each other at home, did we really need to make time to meet? Ji-pil-ah, you were right. What you said was true. We should have stayed apart.

Come to think of it… Moon Ji-woo, that guy is the only one who saw us, right? Surely no one else saw. It doesn’t seem like rumors have spread in the department yet. Should we go to and from school separately from now on?

Tap! Another explosive sound was heard. I raised my head with my lips pursed, and Dae-han was quietly looking at me with his head tilted.

This time, there was no rebuke about why I was distracted again, so I silently took out my mechanical pencil and circled important words visible in the textbook.

I barely composed myself. Let’s focus now… I pushed out my lower lip and tried to organize the content while reading the text.

Bang! Why again this time. I sharply raised my head, and Dae-han was trying to hold back laughter. Why is he really like that? Of course, Dae-han couldn’t possibly know, but it was annoying to see him just fooling around when I was feeling so serious.

As I glared at him with all my might, Dae-han raised his eyebrows and teased me. He was deliberately irritating me.

‘Stop it.’

When I mouthed the words, he made the snap sound again.

“Ah, really.”

“……”

“Why do you keep doing that finger thing? Stop it. I don’t like hearing it.”

I was already feeling troubled, and my boyfriend was just teasing me. Is he showing off how well he can use his fingers, or what? When I unconsciously became serious, Dae-han’s eyes widened slightly as if surprised.

Seeing his surprised face instead of his usual grin, I guess my reaction was different from usual.

I didn’t want to be so serious, but I scratched the bridge of my nose with my finger. I hate to say it myself, but even though I’m usually quite mild-mannered, I can be quite scary when I get serious. Even Dae-han would lower his tail and approach saying, “Are you angry?”

I brushed off the dust stuck to my thigh. Glancing around, I saw not only Dae-han but also the other group members looking at me. Feeling awkward and sorry for getting irritated over nothing, my lips naturally protruded in a sulky manner. I moistened my lips with my tongue.

“Sorry…”

I ended up apologizing. The other group members brushed it off as if it was nothing, but Dae-han looked at me for a long time without saying anything.

“It’s dinner time, want to eat chicken? We could have a beer too.”

A classmate suggested as we were coming out after the group project meeting. I wasn’t in the mood for drinking, but I wanted to avoid being alone with Dae-han. I hadn’t sorted out my thoughts yet. Dae-han, who had been walking silently with the thick textbook tucked under his arm, asked.

“Why do we have to eat?”

“It’s mealtime too. Why, are you busy?”

“I don’t really feel like eating.”

It seems Lim Dae-han’s mood has soured because of me. Dae-han, who usually just lets things slide, got serious with a classmate, not even me. I felt uncomfortable.

Even so, couldn’t he speak a little more nicely? It’s not like I said I was busy or had something to do, just that I didn’t want to eat.

This is why they say not to get involved with CC. Dae-han kicked a small piece of stone lying on the ground. It rolled far away. His indifferent voice was directed at me.

“Ki Young-hyun, you.”

“I…”

I met Dae-han’s eyes once and turned to look at the classmate who suggested chicken. Seeing the classmate standing there with an awkward face, I was clenching and unclenching my fist inside my sleeve, unable to do anything.

Dae-han, why are you really like this… I pulled my sleeve. I smiled awkwardly.

“I’ll have chicken.”

Dae-han’s expression hardened even more. Just as I thought he might just leave, contrary to expectations, he turned to the now more relieved classmate.

“Seems like I can’t skip if everyone’s going.”

“Oh, oh, it would be good if you come too, Dae-han…”

“I’ll buy you chicken. What do you want to eat?”

At those words, the classmate said it was good and that they would guide us. They said they knew a cheap place with large portions, but Dae-han said let’s go eat something delicious even if it’s expensive… The classmate grinned without any pride. Even though Dae-han had been prickly just a minute ago.

I walked alone, lagging behind the classmates. Before I knew it, Dae-han was by my side. I unconsciously scanned the surroundings. I felt self-conscious because of what happened earlier in the day.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

Dae-han lowered his voice.

“…Yeah.”

“Is something bothering you?”

I rolled my eyes slightly. I met his gaze as he tilted his head to look at me. I clenched my teeth hard, causing muscles to tense in my jaw.

Lim Dae-han waited silently for an answer. Should I tell him that I feel like I’m being threatened, what should I do? I haven’t been threatened yet, so should I not say anything? Or should I at least tell him the situation?

As I let out a small sigh, looking serious, he put his hand on my shoulder. When he tried to touch my cheek with his thumb, I twisted my shoulder. His rejected hand stopped in mid-air.

“……”

“……”

We looked at each other in surprise. I wasn’t the only one surprised. Dae-han also stopped in his tracks. After staying put for a moment, I made an excuse in a shrinking voice.

“It’s not that… don’t do this outside. Also, nothing bad happened. Just…, uh, I guess I’m tired.”

“Ah, is that so.”

Dae-han responded as if nothing was different from usual. By now, the classmates who had gotten ahead called out to me and Dae-han from where they were standing.

“Dae-han, Young-hyun, hurry up.”

Dae-han patted my shoulder as he passed by.

“Sorry for touching you. Let’s go for now.”

We had to meet a few more times until the project presentation, so it was better to become friendly somehow. That was probably the reason why the classmate suggested chicken.

“……”

“……”

“……”

“…Ha, haha…, our table is really quiet. Isn’t it?”

A classmate tried to start a conversation with a very awkward face. The atmosphere didn’t ease up easily. Although summer was just around the corner, the air was as cold and biting as midwinter. Dae-han was the one who led this atmosphere.

Sitting across from me, Dae-han said nothing and tapped the table with his fingers in an irregular rhythm. As if he didn’t care what anyone said.

Probably no one here would pay attention to it.

Tap tap, tap, tap tap tap. It was an annoying sound like the finger snap earlier, but this time I wasn’t angry. I just felt self-conscious. He must be very angry.

Dae-han responded unpleasantly to every word spoken to him with an unpleasant expression. When even that became bothersome, he tilted his head and made a “tsk” sound. I was the one who ruined his mood.

I felt sorry. No matter how sensitive I had become, I shouldn’t have taken it out on him. Would he have reacted the same way if another classmate had been fidgeting or touching his fingers? Probably not.