LCL 49

“Young-hyun?”

I belatedly shifted my gaze back to Moon Ji-woo.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t hear.”

“I asked what you’re doing for the festival. Focus a bit.”

“Ah…I think the committee are having meetings, but I haven’t heard yet. They did say something about having a pub there.”

“I don’t like the festival because it gets so crowded. I want to skip my part-time job, but I think the owner won’t let me because it’ll be busy.”

I heard it was a constant series of meetings, as it was the biggest school event. While I got along well with my classmates, I didn’t have any particularly close seniors, so I just received notifications from the executive committee.

I glanced to the side once more. My eyes met Lim Dae-han’s. When I slightly furrowed my brow at him, Lim Dae-han stared back with no expression on his face. Why was he acting like that too? Seriously…

I felt like crying due to frustration. Though no tears were coming at that moment.

“Do you know how many people really come during the festival? They say over 10,000 come just on the last day.”

“Ah, oh, really…? Then the pub must be incredibly busy too?”

“I don’t know much about the pub. I skipped out.”

“Did the seniors say it was okay to skip? I heard they wanted at least one person to come.”

I heard that for things like pubs, people with clean-cut appearances often stood at the front. Even if they weren’t exceptionally good-looking.

The seniors in our department repeatedly asked Lim Dae-han that he absolutely must not skip out, and honestly, it was embarrassing but I was asked too. But Moon Ji-woo, who was taller and more handsome than me, skipped out of this event? Was it because he was still a minor?

“Well, being a minor is part of it, but if I skip, I skip. I wanted to do it separately from not having friends.”

“Mm.”

“My parents were going on about life and death, so I had no other choice but to go home.”

Ah…the conversation turned this way again? I was so taken aback, but I tried to react as if nothing was wrong.

“Really?”

A story I didn’t particularly want to hear continued.

“It’s okay from this year because I’m living separately. My family home wasn’t far from school, but I really hated seeing my parents fight. How about you? Do your parents fight often too?”

They didn’t fight though. My family members, except for my older brother, were generally mild-mannered. While there might be small worries in life, there were no major troubles, adversities, or hardships.

Except for the dark times when I was under my brother’s control—these days my brother’s attention had turned elsewhere so he controlled me less. I still get occasional texts or calls but—our home was an ordinary household.

My neck stiffened with tension. I massaged the back of my neck as I moved my head. My eyes met Lim Dae-han’s again.

“Just…just…normal.”

I barely swallowed the sigh that was trying to escape out of my mouth.

“What does normal mean? The standard for normal is different for everyone.”

“…”

“I want to be normal too.”

Instead of answering, I firmly pressed my lips together. Moon Ji-woo took a sip of his coffee.

“But Young-hyun, are you usually this uninterested in other people?”

“…”

“I’ve never seen you ask anything first. Are you like this with your partner and friends too?”

I usually asked a lot of questions. I had many curiosities. Whenever I got close to someone and became interested, I tended to ask all sorts of probing questions. So…the fact that I wasn’t asking Moon Ji-woo anything meant that he was a difficult person for me to deal with.

Even if I conceded a hundred times, it was okay if the direction of the conversation suddenly changed. I could understand if he brought up depressing stories. The problem was that we’d be having fun, and then he’d suddenly get serious and make me out to be a bad person.

I clenched my fist tightly. Once again, I had nothing to say.

Please stop.

I became careful with every word, every single term. It seemed like it would be difficult to see this friend for long. I closed my eyes deeply, then opened them and turned my gaze.

Lim Dae-han, help me.

Somehow, I even started feeling nauseous. I missed Senior Seong-hong’s pretentious and overly mature-acting demeanor. A senior who was floating rather than being heavy. Or even Senior Hyuna. I’d rather be anxious because of Lim Dae-han and Senior Hyuna.

Moon Ji-woo had no sense of atmosphere. He should have noticed that I couldn’t say anything because of him, but the conversation continued anyway without too much of my input.

“But I’m okay. I guess I’m really comfortable with you. I usually don’t talk about these things in front of others. But strangely, I end up telling you. Maybe it’s because I know your secret.”

I thought I could handle the situation with Moon Ji-woo on my own. I thought if I was being threatened, I could tell the people around me who would help. This…I never expected this.

I regretted becoming friends with Moon Ji-woo. How would Lim Dae-han have reacted to Moon Ji-woo? Why was he telling me this? Were we close? And so on…I thought about the things Lim Dae-han would usually say, but there was nothing I could do among those options.

In the end, I once again lifted my head with a pitiful look on my face. Toward where Lim Dae-han had been sitting all along. But Lim Dae-han was no longer there.

What? Where did he go? As I looked around, a shadow fell over the seat next to me. Following the shadow, I turned my head to find Lim Dae-han had come over.

“Move. Let me sit.”

The voice filled with criticism and reproach was directed at me. I quickly shifted my position, moving my hips. Lim Dae-han sat down next to me without a word. Moon Ji-woo visibly stiffened his expression.

I sensed that Moon Ji-woo was uncomfortable with Lim Dae-han’s presence. If it had been me, not Lim Dae-han, who had forcefully asked him to move, he would have scolded me for being impolite or rude. But he said nothing right then.

I could feel these things. Lim Dae-han and I were definitely different. Even though Lim Dae-han had almost stopped his forceful behavior after high school, people still treated us differently.

Was it because of our looks or our aura? I couldn’t figure out the reason. Lim Dae-han silently looked at Moon Ji-woo. His gaze was unfriendly.

“I saw a familiar face. Thought I’d join.”

His deep voice carried a hint of arrogance. I envied his confident demeanor in everything.

“We’re not seniors from the same department, and Ki Young-hyun had said we’re the same age. I was thinking of speaking casually.”

“…”

“Is that okay?”

My brother always said this to me, even when scolding me.

‘If you have something to say, say it straight.’

‘Don’t read the room.’

‘Hey, stop rolling your eyes around.’

I didn’t understand why he’d tell me to express my opinion after intimidating me, but now I think I got it now. People stretched their legs according to their blanket.

Moon Ji-woo, who had been chattering freely in front of me, didn’t say a word when Lim Dae-han arrived. Still, he seemed upset, scanning us both with cold eyes.

Either unaware of the atmosphere or not caring, Lim Dae-han asked me in a rather careless voice.

“What were you talking about?”

“Just…you know, this and that.”

I managed to squeeze out a response.

“Oh yeah?”

I felt Lim Dae-han’s half-hearted reply touch my temple. As I glanced at him sideways with my head still lowered, he mouthed ‘why’ and turned the question back to me.

Instead of sighing, I bit down on my bottom lip. I quickly looked at Moon Ji-woo sitting across from me, then lowered my eyes. Even in that brief moment, I could feel it. The guy who had been pretending to be friendly was now sitting there with a fierce expression on his face.

I didn’t want to read the room, but I kept doing it anyway. Only after gathering my thoughts did I raise my head. Moon Ji-woo squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them.

“Hah—”

Moon Ji-woo sighed and opened his mouth. The arrow was currently aimed not at me, but at Lim Dae-han.

“I don’t think it’s polite to suddenly join without asking.”

“I did ask if it was okay.”

“Didn’t you hear the lack of response?”

“I wasn’t planning to listen anyway.”

A sneer formed on Lim Dae-han’s lips.

“You two seemed to be having such an interesting conversation, I was curious. Were you talking about something I shouldn’t hear?”

“It wasn’t an interesting conversation.”

“It doesn’t look like it. His expression doesn’t look good either.”

Lim Dae-han touched my cheek again. It was a casual action. He acted as if he didn’t care that it might look strange for a man to touch another man like this in public.

It was different from how he acted when we were with our other classmates.

Moon Ji-woo seemed to try to relax his stiff expression, pushing his tongue into his cheek and then withdrawing it. He straightened his posture, which had seemed somewhat hunched. He didn’t seem willing to back down easily.

“I’m just being cautious. We were in the middle of a secret conversation.”

“Ki Young-hyun’s secret, or your secret?”

“…”

“I probably know Ki Young-hyun’s secrets better than you do.”

Lim Dae-han’s voice carried a hint of laughter. It wasn’t friendliness, but dominance. I had forgotten because he was always nice to me. Right…he used to be a delinquent.

Moon Ji-woo didn’t seem to like his composure. The face he had tried to relax stiffened again. He spoke with an even harder voice than before.

“Oh really? Wouldn’t it be bad if rumors spread? You two are always sticking close together behind the scenes. To the point where it’s starting to look suspicious.”

“Rumors?”

Lim Dae-han asked back. I hadn’t had a chance to explain how I was connected to Moon Ji-woo yet. I bit the soft flesh inside my lip.

“Rumors, huh…”

Lim Dae-han muttered to himself. Silence followed as he pondered. Neither Moon Ji-woo nor I said anything. After a brief pause, Lim Dae-han was the first to speak.

“So what if rumors spread?”

“…”

“Speak up. Don’t just keep your mouth shut. What’s the big deal about rumors spreading?”

Feeling like a criminal, I hung my head. My heart was pounding as if I was walking a tightrope. I was afraid a fight might break out. I really, really like Lim Dae-han, but I hate and fear it whenever he got angry.

Sometimes I was reminded of our second year of high school. It was probably the most turbulent time of my life. A night of running away from home and the fight with Lee Hyun-woo.

The night itself wasn’t the important part. The problem was that he beat the crap out of that bastard for hitting me.

It was different from how Lee Hyun-woo and I grabbed each other’s collars, pulled clothes, yanked hair, and shoved shoulders with just a few fingers. Thanks to Lim Dae-han, I learned that a person could bleed just from being slapped on the cheek with an open hand.

Unlike his earlier bravado, Lee Hyun-woo was lying there with blood flowing from his lips and nose, while Lim Dae-han stood there with blood on his hands.

‘…I’m scared.’

At that time, the only emotion I felt was fear. The fear overshadowed any gratitude I felt toward Lim Dae-han for helping me.

Recalling that memory, I clenched my fist. Sweat seeped from my hand. If another fight broke out…My mouth went dry.

This was why I tried to handle it alone.

“Hey, Lim Dae-han—”

“It’s okay. It’s fine.” I called out to him softly, trying to stop him. I was so anxious that my stomach started to ache. Despite my calling him, Lim Dae-han didn’t budge and continued speaking.

“Is it anything new for strange rumors to spread in college? I don’t really care about whispers behind my back, since they’re not saying it to my face anyway. But it’s weirder to act childishly by holding onto a weakness. Ki Young-hyun told me you were his friend, but seeing you act like this behind his back, you don’t seem like a friend at all.”

“…”

After calmly finishing his words, Lim Dae-han got up to his feet. He grabbed my forearm. The force with which he pulled me was stronger than usual. He wasn’t dealing with it calmly—he was holding back his anger.

“If you’re done talking, let’s go, Ki Young-hyun.”

It might seem stupid, but I stayed in my seat. My bottom wouldn’t lift off. Truthfully, I wanted to follow Lim Dae-han out, but because of what Moon Ji-woo had said just before, it was hard to leave easily.

‘Wouldn’t it be bad if rumors spread? You two are always sticking close together behind the scenes. To the point where it’s starting to look suspicious.’

Was he threatening to spread rumors?

College was already a place where strange rumors circulate easily, and I didn’t want unnecessary rumors about Lim Dae-han and me—even if they were true—added to the mix. People gossip even when a man and woman date, let alone two men.

Lim Dae-han finally frowned. He pulled me with less force than before. His voice was firm.

“Why aren’t you leaving?”

Moon Ji-woo caressed his cup with condensation all over it.

“I bought Young-hyun meals and coffee and everything.”

That’s not it. It’s because you said you’d spread rumors. You’re way off the mark. Do you think I’m stuck here just because you bought me a meal?

I finally looked at Moon Ji-woo intently. I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t like this.

“Ah, seriously…This is shit.”

Lim Dae-han finally lost his temper. Even though it wasn’t directed at me, I felt stung. I would correct this once we were outside. I wasn’t just sticking around because he bought me food and coffee.

Lim Dae-han finally let go of me. He took out his wallet from his back pocket and placed a few 50,000 won bills on the table.

“Is that enough? Let’s go, Ki Young-hyun. Now.”

After saying his piece, Lim Dae-han picked up my bag in one hand and strode out. I looked at Moon Ji-woo for a moment. Only then did Moon Ji-woo lower his head.

“You… said you weren’t planning to blackmail, but as soon as things get unfavorable, you bring it up right away.”

No words of excuse came back. I stood up to follow Lim Dae-han out. I didn’t say we’d see each other again.