LCL 58

I took a moment to catch my breath. I had to go. I didn’t want to get more involved with Moon Ji-woo, but letting him into the department pub was even more unacceptable.

Before going to Moon Ji-woo, I stopped by the table first. I put my hand on Park Yeo-seon’s shoulder. I bent down and whispered into his ear. Pretending to be close was uncomfortable and didn’t suit my personality, but there was no other way.

“…Hey.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

Park Yeo-seon didn’t seem uncomfortable with the pretense of closeness. If it were me, I would have stiffened up.

“If Lim Dae-han looks for me, tell him I went with Moon Ji-woo. He’ll understand. And if he can’t reach me, tell him I’ll be near the School of Business…”

I added an explanation for any potential situation, hoping nothing would happen. Park Yeo-seon shifted his gaze to the pub entrance again. I straightened up from my hunched posture. Park Yeo-seon held me back.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

“…Yeah.”

“If it’s going to worry Lim Dae-han, just don’t go.”

“It’s not something we should talk about near the pub…”

In the end, I headed toward Moon Ji-woo anyway. My feet felt incredibly heavy as they left the ground. Ahem…I cleared my throat and approached, pretending to be nonchalant. Moon Ji-woo didn’t say a word until I left the pub.

Usually, he would chatter away with “Hi, Young-hyun~”. Seeing him act so differently from his usual self made me think it was definitely good to have come out.

“Want to move somewhere else?”

At my words, Moon Ji-woo turned his head toward the approaching crowd. A silent affirmation followed. I widened my stride and went ahead of Moon Ji-woo. It was better to lead the way than to follow him.

The main sports field was crowded with people enjoying the festival, so the School of Economics was empty. There were no couples taking walks or enjoying dates, only the sound of crickets could be heard. Confirming that no one was around made it easier to talk.

Moon Ji-woo and I sat on a bench. We both silently inhaled the damp night air without saying a word. The booming music from the festival poured into the School of Business area. When me and others were in the middle of it all, we didn’t realize how far the festival’s impact had spread.

“…Why did you come here?”

I finally broke the silence. Moon Ji-woo  let out a breath that sounded like a sigh. I unconsciously clenched my fists, feeling tense.

“Young-hyun, did you block me?”

“Yes. I told you to stop contacting me.”

“…That’s one-sided.”

“What?”

I looked at him intently. Moon Ji-woo sat with a hardened face, staring straight ahead despite feeling my gaze on him. A tense atmosphere slowly built up. The silence didn’t last long.

“Ha…”

I opened my eyes wide at his sudden snort. Moon Ji-woo got up from his seat and paced around the bench. He repeatedly lowered and raised his head. He put his hands on his waist, then ran them through his hair.

That was when he clenched both fists. I flinched, startled.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

“…”

“Why are you pretending to be so nice?”

“…What?”

I asked again, thinking I must have misheard him just now. Moon Ji-woo licked his lower lip.

“You were the one who acted unilaterally. I even apologized, but is it enough to just ask me to stop contacting you? Don’t you think about the person who’s waiting? You’re really mean.”

“What are you saying now? Don’t you realize what you’ve done?”

“Honestly, what did I do wrong? You guys were the ones who were rude first.”

The argument escalated. Moon Ji-woo was already taller and bigger than me, but standing in front of me with his back to the light made him seem even more intimidating. I also stood up from my seat.

I had no intention of getting into a physical fight, but I didn’t want to appear weak either. Especially not to him.

If I fought Moon Ji-woo, the chances of me losing were high, but I was still prepared for any type of outcome. I had been in a physical fight in my second year of high school, so I knew what to expect.

I didn’t intend to give in easily, but unfortunately, I stumbled over my words.

“You, you…what do you think you did so well? Lim Dae-han was just taking my side. Don’t you even think about how uncomfortable I was in that situation?”

“Right. Good for you to have such a great boyfriend. If you were really uncomfortable, you should have told me directly. How is bringing your boyfriend to bully someone any different? Don’t act like a child.”

“I didn’t call Lim Dae-han then.”

“That’s even stranger. Does your boyfriend not allow you to have friends? Do you have to live so confined?”

I moistened my lips with my tongue. Who was he to make assumptions about Lim Dae-han? I clenched my fists tighter.

Without realizing it, I slightly raised the knuckle of my middle finger. If it came time for me to throw some punches, I’d launch it like this right away.

In any case, I lacked skills for fighting, so my lips kept drying up. My mouth felt dry as if my tongue was in a drought. Huh, I let out a long sigh. Moon Ji-woo’s expression hardened even more.

“If you called me to say this, couldn’t you have just not come?”

“…”

“I didn’t particularly want to talk to you. And…the way you talk really makes people uncomfortable. Don’t you think there’s a problem with your personality? Why do you always try to bring others in to find fault?”

“Me? That’s just how you perceive it.”

“No, I don’t usually see others negatively. But you make me feel bad. When you first asked to be friends, I was happy, but after that, every time we met, my heart would pound and it got hard for me to deal with you. I regretted agreeing to be friends with you. Ever since the first time we hung out.”

Moon Ji-woo’s eyes shook violently as we faced each other. I was also heated when I blurted it out, but I began to feel uncomfortable after I said that. It wasn’t in my nature to say bad things to others. Especially not to Moon Ji-woo.

The words he had said flashed through my mind right then. Moon Ji-woo had tried to depend on me as a friend, while I was thinking these things behind his back.

Honestly, regardless of how I had acted toward him, I felt sorry. If this turned out to be a lesson for Moon Ji-woo, then it was successful.

I lowered my gaze. After speaking so freely, I tightly closed my lips at the thought of having hurt him. Should I apologize? It was hard to lift my head again. I chewed on my lips, as I thought about this.

Moon Ji-woo sat down on the bench without saying a word. Only then could I look down at him. Moon Ji-woo was chewing his lips forcefully as well. His eyes were shaking violently. I couldn’t tell if he was holding back tears or anger.

“Ha…”

He sighed, rubbing his cheek.

“…You’re not the only one who’s said such things to me.”

“…”

“Honestly, your first impression of me isn’t bad, right? So at first, a lot of people are drawn to me. But strangely…it always ends up like this.”

Moon Ji-woo finally muttered quietly.

“I’m sorry if my way of speaking and actions make you uncomfortable, Young-hyun.”

I couldn’t continue to be harsh after his apology. I finally sat down beside him. The heavy breathing from our argument settled down. Moon Ji-woo glanced at me, then shifted his gaze to the garden where crickets were chirping.

“But you’re the first person I’ve fought with like this, Young-hyun.”

“…Please stop attaching meaning to me.”

“What do you think is the problem with my personality?”

I turned to look at Moon Ji-woo. He met my gaze fully. There was no malice or anger in his eyes.

I guess I was the same. Rather, after fighting like this, I began to feel a bit better.

Should I…speak honestly? I was hesitant.

“Tell me honestly. I want to fix it. It’s a shame to grow apart from you like this.”

“…”

“Even though I entered a year early, I wanted to make friends too. If I had a girlfriend in the same department, I’d be careful and avoid all other classmates, but you always had friends around you, which amazed me. So I wanted to be close to you too. I was glad to meet you alone at Sky Park. That’s why I approached you.”

“…Really?”

“To be honest, the seniors and boss at my part-time job are just being nice because I’m young. I don’t contact them privately, so I don’t have any big expectations from them.”

“Young-hyun,” Moon Ji-woo called me again and continued. It seemed Moon Ji-woo felt more comfortable after our argument.

“You know that person I said I liked? I confessed, and they said this. Honestly, you suck even as a friend. And I…I had to hear that to my face. I went to the bathroom and threw up after that. My head was spinning.”

I clenched and unclenched my fist repeatedly. Instead of getting sweaty, my hands felt dry and rough. I rubbed my palms on my thighs. Finally, I took a deep breath and steeled myself.

“Moon Ji-woo.”

“Yeah?”

“I think you expect too much from friends. Most people don’t share and do everything together with their friends. For me, friends are people I enjoy meeting and want to hang out with. Spending all my time together…I want to do that with Lim Dae-han. So if you expect more than that from me, I don’t think I can be friends with you. And we haven’t known each other for long, so hearing about your family history or past is…still a bit overwhelming for me. But every time we met and talked, you told me those stories.”

“…Is that why?”

Moon Ji-woo asked after a beat. I nodded once and continued.

“And subtly bringing up Lim Dae-han to threaten me, or trying to do things only your way. Honestly, Lim Dae-han is more important to me than friends. It might sound strange, but that’s how I feel now…”

“Ah…”

I heard a sigh, but I wasn’t done with what I wanted to say. I thought I had gotten over it after the apology, but it looked like I had a lot more to unpack than I realized.

“And if you don’t like something, you get angry and…”

“…”

“You make people feel weird.”

“Stop. I get it.”

As Moon Ji-woo cut me off, I bit down on my lower lip. I wondered if I should have said this from the beginning. Maybe I was needlessly scared. I felt a bit relieved too after I said that.

“If I stop doing that, can we be friends again? …Unblock me.”

“I’ll discuss it with Lim Dae-han.”

Anyway, since Lim Dae-han was also uncomfortable with Moon Ji-woo, I needed to consult with him. It wasn’t that I was  dependent on him or dedicating my whole life to him, but I thought it was courteous between partners.

Lim Dae-han had unnecessary trouble with Moon Ji-woo because of me too. Who would want to see their partner uncomfortable?

Instead of answering, Moon Ji-woo let out a long, “Ah…”

“But Young-hyun.”

There was something odd about the way he opened the conversation. Something…like it was starting again. I frowned without realizing it.

“Do you think your relationship is healthy?”

“…What?”

“Since you told me, I’ll tell you too. I think you’re too dependent in your relationship. You never know when you might break up with a partner.”

What is he saying now? The front of my eyebrows twitched.

“I don’t understand why you think your partner should come first.”

“Huh?”

“Consulting about every single friendship seems a bit strange to me. And your boyfriend seems to be too obsessed with you too. You said it yourself earlier. He came alone even though you didn’t call him. His domineering attitude seems a bit violent too…Even the last time we met, you looked like you could barely stand, but he almost forcibly dragged you away. I don’t think that’s a good relationship…”

“You!”

I jumped to my feet. I pointed my finger at Moon Ji-woo’s face. Moon Ji-woo looked up at me with wide eyes, still sitting in his seat.

“You! You! You! You!”

Enraged, I kept repeating “You!” It was one thing to badmouth me to my face. Moon Ji-woo and I have met one-on-one, so he might find issues with my personality. But I couldn’t forgive him trying to put down Lim Dae-han, whom he didn’t even know well.

“You! Didn’t I just tell you not to do that?!”

As I shouted angrily, a flustered Moon Ji-woo clamped his mouth shut. He didn’t add a single word of excuse. I grabbed Moon Ji-woo’s collar right then.

My fist gripping his collar trembled. Honestly, it was a gesture of someone who had never properly grabbed a collar before. It might have looked ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it. I was furious, like my lid had just blown off.

“What do you know about us to say if it’s a good relationship or not…!”

“Ki Young-hyun…!!”

Surprised by the force suddenly hugging me from behind, I lost my grip on the collar. I was pulled back in an instant, like dust sucked into a vacuum cleaner. When I turned my head, Lim Dae-han was hugging me and pulling me back. The distance between Moon Ji-woo and me widened in a short moment.

W-When did he come? But that wasn’t important right now.

“Let me go!”

“No, calm down a bit.”

Lim Dae-han hugged my upper body and lifted me. He moved away so I couldn’t lunge at Moon Ji-woo again.

“Ki Young-hyun, are you crazy?!?”

Jung Ji-pil shouted as he approached from afar. Park Yeo-seon and Lee Deok were beside him too. Whether they were there or not, I started to flail my arms and legs while being held by Lim Dae-han.

“You! You! Moon Ji-woo!”

“…”

“If you insult Lim Dae-han again, you’re dead, got it?!”

I raised my fist. Moon Ji-woo, flustered by the sudden increase in people, stood up.

“Just go!”

Unlike Lee Deok and Jung Ji-pil who came toward me, Park Yeo-seon patted Moon Ji-woo’s chest and told him to leave.

“Where are you going?! If I see you one more time, I won’t let you off easily!”

I kept shouting loudly. Moon Ji-woo, who had backed away at Park Yeo-seon’s gesture, hurriedly left as if fleeing. Even after he disappeared behind the building, I continued to pant heavily.

I was still in Lim Dae-han’s arms. Lim Dae-han only let me go after Moon Ji-woo was completely out of sight. Filled with anger, I stomped the ground hard. I immediately pulled out my phone from my pocket. There were two missed calls from Lim Dae-han and one from Jung Ji-pil.

This wasn’t the time to be checking these things. Park Yeo-seon, who hadn’t grasped the situation, asked Lim Dae-han, “Who was that guy, again?”

“He said our relationship isn’t good.”

“What kind of relationship do you have?”

Lee Deok asked, but no one answered him.

“So he’s going around talking about that?”

“That’s not it, damn, what kind of guy is he?”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Just look at him, he’s clearly nothing special.”

“…Ki Young-hyun, what are you doing?”