LCL 79

Park In-gong: [Let’s meet in front of the convenience store.]

Park In-gong: [I’ll buy coffee for whoever arrives first lol]

Seo Ji-yoon: [Are you buying or are we buying?]

Park In-gong: [Obviously, I’m buying.]

Kang XX: [I’m in front of the School of Economics.]

The group chat was bustling for the first time in a while. Classmates who had been scattered during the break were getting together. Of course, those who lived nearby met up to drink or eat together, but I only did that at the beginning of the break. After breaking up with Lim Dae-han, I never went out. I just couldn’t be bothered.

“I don’t want to go to school…”

Even though I was already at school, I didn’t want to go. The first week of the semester was orientation period, so there were hardly any classes, but I just hated being here. I clearly remembered thinking not long ago that I wished the semester would start soon, but now that it had, I began to feel this way.

The school welcoming the new semester was twice as lively and noisy as during the break. Walking alone on the campus where I always used to walk with Lim Dae-han felt strange. Today, I took the subway.

The distance from home to school was farther than I thought. I decided to just endure it rather than ask to live alone, fearing I’d become an unwelcome guest in my brothers’ newlywed home. Anyway, I only needed to endure for one more semester. Like everyone else, I would be enlisting in the military soon after.

“Ki Young-hyun…!!”

As I was about to climb the stairs inside the building, a familiar voice stopped me. When I turned my head, it was the classmate who had helped me find a part-time job.

“Hey, you should have said something when you arrived at the Department of Economics. Were you about to go up?”

“Yeah. Did you see In-gong and the others?”

“Yeah, at the convenience store downstairs. By the way, was your job hard? You look like you’ve lost weight.”

“What weight loss? I ate a ton.”

“Park In-gong said he gained over 5 kilos. It looked like he did nothing but pig out during break.”

My classmate chuckled. We climbed the stairs and entered the lecture room. It was the same ordinary lecture room, nothing special. The lecture room where we used to attend classes together. I wondered when Lim Dae-han would arrive.

I wasn’t ready to face him yet. Since our relationship didn’t start as friends, it felt awkward. How do normal friends greet each other? Do they just say “Hi”? I had no idea.

But my worries were unnecessary because Lim Dae-han didn’t come to the lecture room. Even though it was orientation, Lim Dae-han usually attended all classes diligently, but no matter how much I looked around, he was nowhere in sight. Not just Lim Dae-han, but senior Oh Hyuna wasn’t there either.

Me: [Noona, why aren’t you coming to class?]

Senior Oh Hyuna: [I’m taking second-year classes this time haha]

Me: [Ah, I see lol See you next time.]

Senior Oh Hyuna: [Let’s meet up for a meal sometime.]

I finished chatting with senior Oh Hyuna. The new semester was definitely a new semester. The composition of people taking classes from last semester had changed a lot. But the circle I hung out with remained the same.

“They say Lim Dae-han took a leave of absence.”

After class, when I followed my classmates to a cafe, I heard this unexpected news.

Lim Dae-han? Leave of absence? This was totally out of the blue.

“…Why?”

I asked, pretending to be uninterested while stirring the straw in my drink. At the same time, I persistently followed with my eyes, waiting for an answer.

“Don’t know. Ki Young-hyun, is this your first time hearing about it? Weren’t the two of you close?”

“Uh…we didn’t keep in touch during the break. I wonder why he took a leave. Should I ask him?”

If everything had gone as planned, his father should have been discharged from the hospital, so there was no reason for him to take a leave. What could have happened? I rubbed the water droplets on the table with my fingertip.

Is his father still unwell? Is that why he needs to stay at home?

I fiddled with my phone silently. I repeatedly typed and erased messages without a recipient in mind, my expression gloomy. I knew that it was presumptuous, but since we had been together for a long time, I thought this level of contact might be okay.

Also, since we were in the same department, we couldn’t pretend not to know each other anyway. As I was just pondering this, Jung Ji-pil’s name popped up on my phone screen. I told my classmates I was going to take a call and left the cafe.

College students, who were spending their afternoon leisurely, walked down the street. I stood there, looking up at the sky.

Although the summer break was over, it was still hot. Seasons always changed quietly, without any fuss.

“It’s hot…”

I muttered to myself before pressing the call button.

“Hey, Jung Ji-pil. What’s up?”

– Hey, Ki Young-hyun.

“Yeah.”

– Why aren’t you going?

Ji-pil and I weren’t close enough to casually ask about each other’s well-being, but we also weren’t at the level where we could have a conversation without a subject in mind

We often misunderstood each other even when just making eye contact, and now we were on a call, no less.

I hadn’t told Jung Ji-pil  about breaking up with Lim Dae-han. Just…just…there was no reason. It wasn’t like I’d go around bragging about it.

“Where am I not going?”

– Are you busy these days?

“The semester just started. Well…I’m not particularly busy. What are you talking about?”

– What else would I be talking about? The pension trip, of course.

“What pension?”

The conversation was going in circles, straying from the point, when it would have been easier for both of us if he had just said it outright. It was hot out, and Jung Ji-pil ‘s roundabout way of speaking was getting on my nerves. The other end of the line went quiet.

“Jung Ji-pil?”

When I called his name again, Jung Ji-pil  cautiously asked,

– …Didn’t you hear from Lim Dae-han?

“Just speak plainly. Stop beating around the bush.”

I finally spoke sharply to him. My tone sharpened at Lim Dae-han’s name. Does Jung Ji-pil  know why Lim Dae-han took a leave of absence?

I looked down at the hand not holding the phone. Without realizing it, I must have picked at a hangnail, as blood began to pool at the corner of my nail. I roughly wiped it off and clenched my fist to hide it.

– Lim Dae-han is enlisting in the military next week. So the guys are going to a pension this weekend, but you haven’t said anything.

Jung Ji-pil  finally gave a kind explanation. But I was frozen in place.

“He’s enlisting?”

– Yeah.

Even though I asked and got the appropriate answer, my mind went blank.

“Uh…um…”

I found myself dragging out my words without realizing it. It was obvious that we’d have to go to the military someday. That was why we had physical examinations during the summer break. But this was way too sudden.

As far as I knew, you needed to apply at least a month in advance. It hadn’t even been a month since we broke up. And he was enlisting next week. My thoughts were a tangled mess.

– What’s this? You didn’t know?

When I couldn’t respond properly, Jung Ji-pil pressed for an answer. I knew nothing. I didn’t even know how to react. I had only found out about Lim Dae-han’s leave of absence about 10 minutes ago.

When did he start preparing? Did he deliberately hide it from me? Why? I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. Really, I knew nothing about Lim Dae-han. The heat suddenly dissipated. I readjusted my grip on the phone.

“Ji-pil, where are you?”

– I’m at the academy…I mean, school. Why? Want to meet for a bit?

“Yeah. I’ll come to your school. When do you finish?”

– At six. Not much time left. Take the subway. That should work out timing-wise.

“Okay. I’ll leave right now.”

After ending the call, I went straight back into the cafe. Unlike my distracted state, my classmates were chattering and laughing loudly. I went directly to grab my bag. Several pairs of wide eyes turned toward me. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder.

“Guys, I’m leaving first. Something urgent came up.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Just…Oh, here, Park In-gong, you drink this. You’ve been eyeing it for a while.”

I handed my milkshake to Park In-gong. Even as he wondered what could be so urgent, Park In-gong gulped down the milkshake after removing the straw. With a white milk mustache on his upper lip, he asked once more.

“What’s going on?”

“I think I need to go see a friend. I’m off. See you next class.”

I glossed over it, as a full explanation would be complicated. 

“Take care, Ki Young-hyun.” 

After hastily acknowledging my classmates’ goodbyes, I left the cafe. Despite having complained about the heat earlier, I quickened my pace toward the subway station.

“Why is Lim Dae-han going to the military?”

“What are you talking about, again?”

Jung Ji-pil faced me with a bewildered expression as we sat across from each other. Hugging a cushion to his chest and sipping his cafe latte through a straw, he spoke.

“I’m hungry.”

Jung Ji-pil  clutched his stomach.

“Didn’t you eat lunch?”

“No. I had a lot of classes today.”

“Don’t you always have a lot of classes?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

I handed my debit card to Jung Ji-pil.

“Go buy some bread to eat.”

“Sweet! Thank you, sir!”

Jung Ji-pil bowed his head and went to the counter with the card. I quietly watched his retreating back. I was starting to think it might have been pointless to meet up with him today.

What would Jung Ji-pil know about Lim Dae-han anyway? The two weren’t in direct contact. They usually communicated through me or met together with Park Yeo-seon and Lee Deok.

When Jung Ji-pil returned after paying, he handed me the receipt and card. Seeing that he had spent nearly 20,000 won, my eyes widened momentarily before I composed myself.

Either way, that wasn’t my concern right now.

Clearing my throat in response to his questioning look, I said, “Ahem.”

“I broke up with Lim Dae-han.”

“Wow.”

Instead of asking for a reason, Jung Ji-pil just repeated “Wow.” He kept his eyes wide open until his order of French toast and croque monsieur arrived. He finally managed to open his mouth.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

He seemed so shocked that he couldn’t even ask why. As I watched Jung Ji-pil fold his French toast and eat it with a fork, I continued speaking.

“So I didn’t hear about him going to the military. If it weren’t for you, I probably wouldn’t have known at all.”

“Hey, I only found out yesterday. Apparently, he applied for additional recruitment and got accepted. But I didn’t know it would be this fast…Honestly, I don’t think anyone knew. That’s just how it turned out.”

“When are you going to the pension?”

“Saturday.”

“When does Lim Dae-han enlist?”

“Monday, after the weekend.”

“Isn’t that too soon?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

Jung Ji-pil answered each question diligently, albeit with a clumsy pronunciation. I suddenly felt a tightness in my chest.

“We’re going there. Remember that pension we went to in high school? The one Lee Deok’s uncle runs.”

“Ah, I remember.”

Although I often traveled with Lim Dae-han, that place was a bit more special. It was where Lim Dae-han and I exchanged our confessions. Being naturally full of worries and thoughts, I was confused when I heard about Lim Dae-han’s past misbehavior.

And there, for the first time, I told him about my concerns and feelings. It was the place where I first realized that worrying alone was useless and that communication was important.

So they were going there again. I wondered if Lim Dae-han remembered that day? Maybe he didn’t remember. It was a long time ago. We had been on so many trips that it was hard to remember where we had been.

Although the relationship had ended, I didn’t want to let him go without saying anything. Was this selfish of me too? It was my first love. I would be enlisting next year too, and after we both spent time away, maybe there would come a time when we’d no longer suffer from our past love. They say time heals all wounds.

I wanted to say a final goodbye to him. Take care and come back safely. Thank you for liking me. Or is this just some lingering attachment?

“Can’t I go too…?”

Jung Ji-pil’s face was filled with shock. He had the same expression when he first heard that Lim Dae-han and I were dating, and when I said we broke up, and now it was similar.

“Why you?”

“I have something to say to Lim Dae-han. …And something to give to him…”

I added the last part almost like it was an excuse. I still had the couple’s ring he gave me. I couldn’t return it. I hadn’t heard him ask for it back.

Handing over the couple’s ring would mean it was really over. I thought I had come to terms with the breakup, but in reality, I was still acting foolishly, unable to let go.

“Do you really need to go? Give it to me. I’ll pass it on.”

Jung Ji-pil was right, but I kept my mouth shut.

“You really…you want to go?”

“I want to give it to him myself…”

“You got dumped. Is that why you’re acting so desperate?”

Jung Ji-pil said, narrowing his eyes sharply. I didn’t say anything. But it seemed I already looked like someone who had been dumped in his eyes.

“Ugh, you loser…”

Jung Ji-pil sighed and adjusted his posture.

“Are you going to tell the others? That you’re coming?”

“Just Lee Deok…Tell him not to mention it to Lim Dae-han. He might not come if I go.”

“He’ll probably tell you to back off. But why wouldn’t he come? It’s his last hangout before enlisting.”

“Is that all you can say when your friends have broken up?”

“Did you break up with me? Huh?”

Annoyed, I picked up Jung Ji-pil’s precious croque monsieur with my hand and ate it.

“Hey, you crazy bastard!”

Jung Ji-pil  yelled loud enough to shake the cafe, and when people turned to look, he crouched down saying, “Sorry…” He lowered his voice considerably and asked. He seemed curious.

“So…why did you break up?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Me too. No, why did you break up?”

“Should I buy you a meal?”

“Yeah. Let’s go to the Korean restaurant in front.”

Either he was simple-minded or overly considerate, Jung Ji-pil didn’t pry further and picked up his bag. I also gathered my things and followed him. I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing right then and there.