LS Ch 31

“Since it’s your first time, you should take responsibility properly.”

Jewoo found it absurd that Yiwon kept emphasizing it was his first time only to follow it up with “take responsibility.” He let out a hollow laugh and pushed Yiwon’s shoulder away.

“Even girls don’t say that these days.”

As he stood up from the bathtub, wanting to shower because he didn’t want to sit in the dirty water anymore, Yiwon grabbed his arm, preventing him from getting out. Jewoo turned to see if there was something more to say, and Yiwon’s expression had completely changed from the playful one to something serious.

“Have you been with a woman?”

Yiwon asked, looking up with an expressionless face.

“Well…”

It would be strange to say no. Of course, he had dated someone before, and he had experience with this too. Did Yiwon really think that at twenty-seven, he had no experience at all? Maybe Yiwon was the one who was genuinely inexperienced, given his reaction.

“You haven’t?”

Since Yiwon was twenty-four, Jewoo thought he might have dated someone at least once. Even if he debuted as an idol at a young age, he had heard that there were quite a few instances of people in the same industry meeting behind the scenes. So, he naturally assumed Yiwon had some experience.

“No.”

The answer came without any hesitation, and with it, Yiwon looked up at Jewoo with an expression that seemed almost resentful.

“Really?”

Jewoo regretted asking again because it didn’t believe him. He should have glossed over it casually. There was nothing beneficial in dragging this topic out.

Yiwon stood up while still holding Jewoo’s arm, water dripping down from him with a splash. Jewoo inadvertently looked at the sound, then quickly averted his gaze from Yiwon’s bare body.

“How many?”

Yiwon asked as he stepped closer.

“How many what?”

Jewoo stepped back without thinking but caught his heel on the edge of the bathtub, ending up sitting on it, looking up at Yiwon.

“How many people have you been with?”

Yiwon leaned in, resting his hands on either side of where Jewoo sat, bending forward. Feeling the distance between them closing uncomfortably, Jewoo leaned back, but Yiwon encircled Jewoo’s head with one hand, preventing any escape.

“Well…”

Jewoo avoided eye contact, trailing off. It wasn’t a problem to answer how many, but he felt he shouldn’t tell the truth. Whether it was one or several, he couldn’t predict how Kang Yiwon would react upon hearing it.

“How many?”

Yiwon asked insistently again.

“What does it matter? It’s all in the past; I barely remember.”

Jewoo decided it was best to brush it off vaguely. He freed himself from under Yiwon’s arm, suggesting they should wash up and quickly turned on the shower.

“I haven’t.”

Yiwon emphasized again, watching Jewoo shampoo his hair. Jewoo pretended not to hear due to the sound of water and asked, “Huh?” It seemed like Yiwon’s claim of being a first-timer wasn’t a joke after all. Given his reaction now, Jewoo could believe it.

I think I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have touched him carelessly. No, but it wasn’t me who initiated it, was it?

Even though Jewoo pretended not to hear and continued washing his hair, his thoughts were racing. The word ‘first’ somehow added multiple layers of meaning. Jewoo often found himself thinking about his first love.

The thought that he might be that person for Yiwon felt burdensome. Maybe he should have been more cautious in this relationship, whether he was swept up in it or it was his choice. However, regret was pointless now that the line had been crossed and the water had been spilled.

🎞️✮⋆˙

“You’re early?”

Sihyeon sat next to Jewoo in the dressing room and greeted him.

“Where’s Kang Yiwon?”

Now everyone naturally asked about Yiwon when they saw Jewoo.

“He’s still sleeping. He could probably sleep for another hour.”

When Jewoo answered that Yiwon’s scenes were scheduled later and he hadn’t arrived yet, Sihyeon hummed and narrowed his eyes.

“I thought you’d come together for sure.”

“Why would we?”

“He follows you around like a duckling.”

Jewoo smirked at the thought of a handsome duckling like Kang Yiwon.

“Not really?”

“Not really.”

He denied it, but in truth, it stung a bit. Recently, even when Yiwon wasn’t in a scene, he often came to watch Jewoo’s filming. In the morning, even though there was no need for him to come early, he would get ready and come out with Jewoo, saying he wanted to go together.

Today was almost like he deliberately left Yiwon behind. As soon as his phone alarm rang in the morning, he turned it off and moved quietly so as not to wake Yiwon. He even turned off Yiwon’s phone alarm. However, concerned that Yiwon might not wake up on time, he had contacted Yiwon’s manager to wake him up at the right time.

After sitting silently next to him, just looking at his phone, Sihyeon turned towards Jewoo as soon as the makeup was done and the staff left.

“Let’s talk for a bit.”

“Sure.”

Jewoo answered nonchalantly without even looking at Sihyeon.

“If you and Kang Yiwon are actually dating, you should be more careful.”

At this direct topic, Jewoo paused. When he turned to look at Sihyeon, he was met with a serious gaze.

“It’s true, isn’t it?”

While Jewoo was hesitating about how to answer, Sihyeon asked first.

“Well…”

It started as ‘pretending.’ At least for Jewoo, it did. But at some point, he wasn’t sure anymore. Even to himself, what they were doing had gone beyond just pretending.

Sihyeon’s eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looked at Jewoo.

“What? It wasn’t you?”

He seemed to genuinely believe that Jewoo and Yiwon were officially dating. Jewoo couldn’t argue since their behaviors could certainly lead to that misunderstanding.

“Kang Yiwon seemed pretty sure though.”

“…”

Since it sounded like Sihyeon had also talked with Yiwon, Jewoo couldn’t say anything. He was the one who had accepted the subtle differences in their feelings.

“Whatever it is, if it’s something to worry about, be careful.”

Sihyeon didn’t try to delve into Jewoo’s feelings. He usually maintained the right boundaries, and Jewoo was grateful for that now more than ever.

“Yejun saw it. You two kissing in secret.”

At this revelation, a groan escaped Jewoo’s throat. He couldn’t deny it because it was true, so he just bit his lip.

“You were actually playing both sides, weren’t you?”

Sihyeon sighed as he asked, looking straight at Jewoo.

“You thought responding to Kang Yiwon would help with the filming.”

At this blunt accusation, Jewoo became even more speechless. Certainly, there was some of that thinking at first.

“Everyone at the set might just overlook you two being friendly, but what’s your plan going forward? Especially Kang Yiwon, he’s very obvious. His gaze towards you has changed. From the beginning, he only looked at you, but now it’s blatant, and his eyes are so different that it’s embarrassing to pretend not to notice.”

Again, Jewoo had no response. He had noticed to some extent himself; he couldn’t miss those looks. He hadn’t realized how much Yiwon’s gaze had changed since they were together every day.

“I know I’m being nosy, but if you plan to keep seeing him after filming ends, you should be mindful of other people’s eyes too. At this rate, rumors about you will spread quickly. Well, people might see it as drama promotion for a while, but you never know.”

Sihyeon’s advice was right. Perhaps he was indeed playing both sides like Sihyeon suggested. It was a tightrope where if he maintained the balance well, it could just be fun, but one wrong step could lead to a fall.

As Jewoo sat there, head hung low without a word, Sihyeon let out a deep sigh.

“I guess I shouldn’t have poked at something you were trying to ignore. Just let it go. You must have your own thoughts.”

“No, thanks.”

When Sihyeon apologized for bringing it up, Jewoo assured him it wasn’t a problem and thanked him for worrying. Their conversation was cut short when another staff member came in, calling for them to change clothes.

Even as he changed clothes with the help of the staff, his mind was in turmoil. What would happen with Yiwon after filming ended? Honestly, he hadn’t seriously thought about it. Maybe he had assumed this ambiguous relationship would naturally dissolve once filming was over.

But lately, with Yiwon, he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t say it was just for acting anymore. If it were for acting, he could understand kissing, but anything beyond that shouldn’t have happened. The kissing was forced. They had kissed countless times, far more than what was in the script.

Why?

As he questioned himself, his chest felt tight.

Do you like Kang Yiwon?

He didn’t know. At least, he couldn’t say he didn’t.

But he was confused whether this feeling was his own or stemmed from his character ‘Haeyul.’ The fact that he couldn’t be sure about his own feelings made him sigh.