LS Ch 44

Feeling like he might be making the other person anxious, he cleared his throat and looked away towards the distant mountains.

“But I’m trying to hold on.”

Even to himself, his voice sounded calm. Right, just enduring would be enough. As he steadied his mind, the chaos in his head settled down.

“Wouldn’t it be a waste to give up now? We’ve come this far.”

Though he was talking about himself, he thought it probably wasn’t much different for the boy. Idols go through years of training before debuting, so the time right after debut must be especially uncertain.

“Do you love what you do?”

Turning to the boy, he asked. The boy, who had been staring blankly at Jewoo, slowly nodded.

“Isn’t that what matters? I love acting. Variety shows aren’t bad, but being here, I realize what I really want to do.”

As he spoke, things seemed to clarify in his own mind. What he wanted to do was act, not do variety shows. So, there was no need to be disheartened by not fitting in here today.

“Right now, the future might seem unclear, but won’t some answer appear if you keep going?… That’s what I think.”

He smiled, feeling lighter as he looked at the boy. The boy’s eyes seemed to waver slightly as he looked at Jewoo. He couldn’t tell how his words were being received, but at least his own heart felt much lighter.

“Don’t give up either. You’ve just started, so there’s no need to be disappointed yet.”

Jewoo held out the notepad and pen he had received for the game in front of the boy.

“Can I get your autograph? Would you mind?”

Maybe because of his cheerful expression, the boy didn’t even ask why and just looked back and forth between the notepad and Jewoo’s face.

“You might be hard to get an autograph from if you become famous later. So, I should get one now.”

“Ah…”

Perhaps because of the mention that he might become famous, the boy’s ears turned red. Jewoo thought how lovely it was that the boy still held onto his innocence. Compared to the boy, Jewoo felt he wasn’t innocent at all. He knew well that only a very few survive in this industry, and the harsh reality was that most of the group members here today wouldn’t even be remembered. That included himself; he could just fade away as a forgettable child actor.

Yet, he only spoke words of hope to this boy who still held onto his innocence. Maybe it was just social etiquette that had become second nature. But on the other hand, it was also hope he was saving for himself.

After hesitating, the boy signed the notepad and handed it back. It was clear he wasn’t used to signing autographs, which was fresh and cute.

“Fighting!”

Raising his fist and shouting with a smile, the boy finally smiled back. His smile made him look even brighter. Though he still had a youthful face, among idols, his looks were certainly distinctive.

🎞️✮⋆˙

“That was you?”

Pointing at Yiwon, Jewoo asked, and Yiwon just nodded in confirmation.

“Wow…”

Jewoo couldn’t continue. He hadn’t forgotten that day; he just never imagined that boy could be Kang Yiwon.

“That’s kind of a scam.”

Of course, even back then, he thought the boy was quite cute.

“Isn’t it too much that you didn’t recognize me?”

“Have some conscience. Back then, you looked like a delicate young boy! And with dyed hair, almost like a bob cut… Anyway, you looked completely different from now.”

The boy, who was once a delicate youth, now stood before him as a perfect man. He had grown much taller and his physique had improved beyond comparison to when he was young. Well, considering Yiwon’s age back then, it was a time when he would grow a lot.

“You must have worked out really hard.”

Murmuring while looking down at Yiwon’s well-defined arm muscles, he noted how different he was now, not just in his arms but his whole body was muscular and solid. The youthful fragility was gone, replaced by a very adult male aura.

Looking at himself, Jewoo realized that compared to Yiwon, he hadn’t changed much from back then to now. He hadn’t neglected exercise, but he didn’t easily gain muscle. At least by his mid-twenties, some of the youthful vibe had faded, but still, people didn’t see him as his actual age.

“Wait, did you think I was your age even back then?”

When they met during the drama shoot, Yiwon had seemed surprised when Jewoo mentioned he was three years older. Was that because Yiwon had thought he was his age even seven years ago?

“I thought you looked even younger… Actually, at first, I thought you were a member of another group.”

It was a day with so many group members participating, and since the idols were waiting separately while Jewoo was greeting with the regular cast at the beginning, it was understandable.

“But I was quite famous as a child actor…”

Feeling like his recognition wasn’t that low, Jewoo mumbled with a frown.

“I didn’t have time to watch dramas because I was a trainee.”

“How old were you when you started training?”

“Twelve.”

Hearing that made sense. At such a young age, he wouldn’t have watched much drama, and even if he did, he wouldn’t have been interested in actors.

“I thought I’d meet you at music shows, but you weren’t there. I was surprised to find out later you were an actor.”

“Well…”

The ‘later’ Yiwon was referring to must have been years after. Jewoo had only started acting again, shedding his child actor image, about three or four years ago. Even then, he was always playing supporting roles, so unless someone specifically looked for him, they might not have noticed.

“I saw you last year too.”

“Last year?”

This time, he had no memory of it. Just a year ago, Jewoo had not only recognized Kang Yiwon but had also grumbled several times because their styles seemed to overlap frequently over the last year.

“I guess you didn’t see me.”

“Where?”

“At the film festival awards ceremony.”

The film festival awards ceremony was an event that hadn’t been a year ago yet.

“I attended because it was after my first film was released. Our group also did a congratulatory performance.”

Now that he mentioned it, there had been a performance by Yiwon’s group and another girl group.

“You were sitting diagonally behind me, but you didn’t know?”

At Yiwon’s question, Jewoo felt a bit embarrassed. Would people usually remember that? He remembered who sat next to him because they were actors from the same project, but he didn’t recall who was in front or behind him.

“Were you just watching me?”

Since Yiwon remembered him and if it was like when they met on the drama set, he might have been, Jewoo asked half-jokingly, but Yiwon didn’t respond.

“Really?”

Surprised, he asked, and Yiwon, looking embarrassed, turned his head away.

“I wanted to greet you.”

When Jewoo suggested that Yiwon could have spoken to him first, Yiwon let out a short sigh.

“Would you have recognized who I was if I had spoken to you?”

“I would have known you’re Kang Yiwon.”

Laughing and saying he would know Kang Yiwon, Yiwon’s brow furrowed.

“You didn’t even remember.”

At the sulky tone, Jewoo almost burst out laughing. So, Yiwon was waiting for him to recognize him first. At times like this, Yiwon seemed younger than he was.

“But why didn’t you say anything? There were plenty of opportunities during the drama filming. Even just now, when I asked, you tried to gloss over it.”

Jewoo was curious what was so significant that he kept it hidden.

“…Look.”

His voice was so low it was barely audible.

“What?”

When Jewoo asked again, Yiwon groaned.

“I was afraid you’d think I was creepy or a stalker, so I didn’t say anything.”

At the raised voice, Jewoo blinked and then burst into a loud laugh. The idea that Kang Yiwon was worried about that was too cute.

“Usually, if you remember someone, they’d be thrilled.”

“But you’re not ‘usual’, you’re Han Jewoo.”

“I’m just one of the usual people.”

With a cheerful smile, Jewoo answered, and Yiwon, who had been silently looking at him, shook his head and looked away.

“What’s wrong now?”

Jewoo grabbed Yiwon’s face to make him look at him again, asking what was wrong. Meeting his eyes and smiling gently, Yiwon, as if he couldn’t resist, took a deep breath and grabbed Jewoo’s hand that was on his cheek.

“There’s one more thing. Something I haven’t told you.”

“What is it?”

“I wouldn’t have done the drama if you weren’t my co-star.”

That was something Jewoo didn’t know. He had assumed Kang Yiwon was naturally his co-star. Well, given Kang Yiwon’s fame, it was surprising he was in a BL drama.

Jewoo’s eyes narrowed further, curving into a crescent moon shape, and Yiwon’s eyebrows twitched.

“Tell the truth. Did you accept the role from the start because you were targeting me?”

It was a jest. There was no way someone would participate in a BL drama for such a reason. There must have been another motive, something beneficial for Yiwon, to accept the role.

“What if I said yes?”

Yiwon’s response made Jewoo pause. He had intended it as a joke, but Yiwon’s expression was too serious. There was no waver in his eyes either.

“Come on, that was a joke…”

“It wasn’t.”

At the heavy, resolute tone, Jewoo swallowed hard.